Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Ardosos;40283128]Alright, quick question to those of you with significant others - where/how did you meet them?[/QUOTE]
in league of legends 2 years ago, he was from texas and i was from va
we now live together
[editline]14th April 2013[/editline]
dating etc might help in finding someone but everyone i've ever met who i clicked with was by complete coincidence.
[QUOTE=Ardosos;40283128]Alright, quick question to those of you with significant others - where/how did you meet them?[/QUOTE]
no so atm, but with my ex we were friends for at least like a year till we decided to try something together which was a good move because we felt comfortable right from the get go
[QUOTE=Ardosos;40283128]Alright, quick question to those of you with significant others - where/how did you meet them?[/QUOTE]
My bf sat beside me in a bio class, and we also were in another class together.
Apparently he knew me before then though :v:
[QUOTE=Ardosos;40283128]Alright, quick question to those of you with significant others - where/how did you meet them?[/QUOTE]
i used to bother her in one class like 4 years ago and we hardly knew each other besides the little half friendship that went on there but i decided to talk to her about a year ago and just recently we started to actually date out of nowhere
man i work slowly
[editline]14th April 2013[/editline]
meeting people you like takes work though, don't expect it to just snap into place and whatnot. just talk to people
I dont know how but i was able to pick up a grade 11 girl even though im in grade 10. Best thing is she promised that even if we dont get together, were gonna shower together cause she promised. How did I do this, I am the most socially awkward person on the planet. Dafuq happened.
[QUOTE=Killer monkey;40286000]I dont know how but i was able to pick up a grade 11 girl even though im in grade 10. Best thing is she promised that even if we dont get together, were gonna shower together cause she promised. How did I do this, I am the most socially awkward person on the planet. Dafuq happened.[/QUOTE]
what a weird thing to promise lol
[QUOTE=Killer monkey;40286000]I dont know how but i was able to pick up a grade 11 girl even though im in grade 10. Best thing is she promised that even if we dont get together, were gonna shower together cause she promised. How did I do this, I am the most socially awkward person on the planet. Dafuq happened.[/QUOTE]
Remember to be safe, and I don't just mean contraception, showers are dangerous places! :tinfoil:
[QUOTE=thisispain;40286071]what a weird thing to promise lol[/QUOTE]
It came up in conversation and to be honest I don't think it will acually happen.
So I have a question, am I just being a square, or do i just have friends that dont respect personal boundaries.
My friends smoke, a lot. A lot of different things too actually. I dont smoke, its just not for me, I think its unhealthy but i dont hate people who smoke, or have an issue with people who smoke around me, ill politely turn down your offer, sit in the circle and continue to socialize like everyone else is doing, just without the aid of hooka, weed, or cigarettes. My friends somehow take this as a challenge, and some of them will literally sneak up behind me, and grab me and blow smoke in my face trying to get me to "enjoy it".
Im starting to get annoyed with it quite fast to be honest.
nah theyre being assholes when they do that.
ive done plenty of not-square stuff but ive never forced it onto anyone or grabbed anyone and told them they have to enjoy it; its not fair to do that and it violates their personal space and free agency
[QUOTE=Ardosos;40283128]Alright, quick question to those of you with significant others - where/how did you meet them?[/QUOTE]
Now, somebody answer this question again, but with the following criteria:
-Not school
-Not work
-Not a teenager
That's the answer I'm more interested in. You know, for the people who live in the real world, and not high school.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;40286165]So I have a question, am I just being a square, or do i just have friends that dont respect personal boundaries.
My friends smoke, a lot. A lot of different things too actually. I dont smoke, its just not for me, I think its unhealthy but i dont hate people who smoke, or have an issue with people who smoke around me, ill politely turn down your offer, sit in the circle and continue to socialize like everyone else is doing, just without the aid of hooka, weed, or cigarettes. My friends somehow take this as a challenge, and some of them will literally sneak up behind me, and grab me and blow smoke in my face trying to get me to "enjoy it".
Im starting to get annoyed with it quite fast to be honest.[/QUOTE]
i don't understand the logic behind this
rape doesn't turn its victims on to sex
[QUOTE=DeathFrogg;40281369]Major issue, kinda urgent guys.
Me n GF almost going out for 3 months things are better than great etc we met on friday after not seeing each other for 3 weeks (she had exams) and like she was so happy to see me she ran up to me hugged me etc we had a really fun night (it was an outdoor party). I took her virginity a few wks ago and we were chatting about her coming to college for the obvious to relax after her exams etc we agreed for this afternoon.
The day after friday i txt her and shes suddenly giving rly wierd short responses and eventually says she wants to talk at a cafe instead of college. I ask if its The Talk and she says something generic "not necessarily. To have a talk"
Its sounds like a breakup is impending but i dunno.. Any ideas?
Its just so sudden...[/QUOTE]
Fuck she broke up with me
GG life.. see you on the otherside
if you've already had a serious talk with them and they aren't respecting your wishes all i can really suggest is to distance yourself from them until they get the message
[editline]15th April 2013[/editline]
automerge
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40286625]i don't understand the logic behind this
rape doesn't turn its victims on to sex[/QUOTE]
not sure if you can really compare the two tbh thats an extreme
[editline]14th April 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=DeathFrogg;40286630]GG life.. see you on the otherside[/QUOTE]
dont
[QUOTE=Erector Beast;40286946]not sure if you can really compare the two tbh thats an extreme[/QUOTE]
point was that forcing something on to someone who doesn't want it isn't going to make them suddenly want it
[QUOTE=DeathFrogg;40286630]Fuck she broke up with me
GG life.. see you on the otherside[/QUOTE]
thats rather melodramatic
[QUOTE=DeathFrogg;40286630]Fuck she broke up with me
GG life.. see you on the otherside[/QUOTE]
You will be fine babe
Hey, I posted in this thread a few pages back, guess I might as well give a heads up on how I'm doing.
Hearsay from some of my other friends who know more about dating and relationships than the friends I originally asked for advice told me the girl I was interested in isn't really ripe for me. Since she's a senior and graduating so it would be a hard relationship to continue, plus she apparently hangs out with this one guy all the time even though they're not officially a couple, and she's already got grad school planned out and seems like the type of person who's got her whole life planned out, they've told me I shouldn't bother asking her out.
The day I was originally going to ask her out was a rainy day, and she didn't show up, and the next time I'll see her is tomorrow. I'm still going to talk to her and be friendly, and if I see any inkling of liking me more than just being friendly I'll ask her out regardless, but otherwise I'm going to let her slide.
It's depressing, really. Mostly because the school I go to just isn't really the right place for a person like me. Yeah, the education quality is amazing, but it's a party school full of rich preppy fake people so finding someone down to earth and chill is hard. Everyone I see is an extrovert who loves to party and the creative, scholastic interests are not there.
There are just few opportunities for me to meet people. I'm tired of going to parties since they're not fun at all for me and I get exhausted just being there. I've gone to events and the like but it just ends up being me and my group of friends talking with nobody new coming into the group. I've gone to more events than ever and I'm making acquaintances but it's mostly guys, especially hyper-nerdy unsociable ones like myself to a degree. My friends don't really know anyone single.
I'm just going to live day by day now, and hope something happens. I'm hoping that, if nothing happens senior year, grad school will be different. Maybe when I get an internship over the summer I'll meet someone. Otherwise it's not looking too good.
When I try to think about why I want someone in my life, it's mostly for companionship. I want someone who understands me well and can deal with my faults yet still desire me for who I am. Someone who wants to spend time with me, and I want to spend time with her, each taking turns doing what the other wants to do and also doing mutually fun things together. Someone who I feel complete with and she feels likewise. Someone who's still independent and herself but respects who I am, while I respect who she is. Someone who's always around when I need her but also isn't there 24/7 unless we both feel comfortable with that. Basically, I want something more than a best friend. I don't even have a best friend right now, I mean I used to but now he lives in New York so I rarely see him.
I used to be comfortable alone, but now I'm not. I've spent so much time by myself that it drives me nuts. I need to be around people now, but paradoxically it drains me being around people. I'm not happy with my current life. I'm doing well in school, I've just gotten into Psi Chi and I might have an internship at Columbia lined up. But that's not making me happy. I'm never really scrounging for cash since I don't buy much stuff, I live comfortably, and I have friends, but I'm still unhappy.
I don't want to go into a relationship expecting someone to make me happy, but it feels like instinctively that's what's missing in this puzzle. I feel this inner primal drive to be with someone. And right now that's the only thing I haven't tried to make me happy. My default mood is sad, and when something good happens it bumps me up to neutral or even happy for a split second, but I'm never in a good, jolly mood, regardless of the persona I put up.
Honestly its just this waiting that's killing me now. The uncertainty is gone, and now it's just impatience. Video games have helped me escape this feeling, but being with friends somehow intensifies it. I don't want to crawl back into my pre-college lifestyle of videogames + school + sleep but it's the most rewarding thing right now. When I'm sleeping or playing video games I'm not thinking and I'm not depressed. When I'm out and about I get self-conscious, nervous, anxious, depressed and agitated, even though I can hide it well (although leaving 30 minutes into a party could give off an impression). I feel like my best plan of action is to cope with my life now until I get out of college and then things will get better.
Well, enough about me. People have way worse problems then I do.
Two things, both about girls..
1.)
Currently, I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl who lives outside of the country. (no she's not a dude) I skype with her a lot and we we get along really well. She's pretty good looking, and I enjoy talking to her. However, she's almost become dependent on me, and I'm a bit concerned. From my end, I'm not sure if I can keep this relationship up for more than a year as there is absolutely no physical contact or anything sexual in the relationship. She, on the other hand, seems to expect the relationship to last for years, and even made a comment about wanting to get married.
I have no idea what to do. I mean, I do like her, but I'm not sure if I can fully devote myself to a relationship like this. I also don't want to hurt her feelings.
2.)
This second question is a lot less heavy. I've always been terrible with approaching girls to dance with at parties. At this point, every girl I've danced with at a party has pretty much approached me. Talking to them is usually pretty awful because of the deafening music, but on the other-hand, going straight up to them and trying to dance (grind) with them seems like sexual assault. I have no difficulties dancing with girls, but I have no idea how to initiate it.
I should also mention that I do this completely sober because I don't want to drink alcohol.
[QUOTE=SleepyAl;40289810]Hey, I posted in this thread a few pages back, guess I might as well give a heads up on how I'm doing.
Hearsay from some of my other friends who know more about dating and relationships than the friends I originally asked for advice told me the girl I was interested in isn't really ripe for me. Since she's a senior and graduating so it would be a hard relationship to continue, plus she apparently hangs out with this one guy all the time even though they're not officially a couple, and she's already got grad school planned out and seems like the type of person who's got her whole life planned out, they've told me I shouldn't bother asking her out.
The day I was originally going to ask her out was a rainy day, and she didn't show up, and the next time I'll see her is tomorrow. I'm still going to talk to her and be friendly, and if I see any inkling of liking me more than just being friendly I'll ask her out regardless, but otherwise I'm going to let her slide.
It's depressing, really. Mostly because the school I go to just isn't really the right place for a person like me. Yeah, the education quality is amazing, but it's a party school full of rich preppy fake people so finding someone down to earth and chill is hard. Everyone I see is an extrovert who loves to party and the creative, scholastic interests are not there.
There are just few opportunities for me to meet people. I'm tired of going to parties since they're not fun at all for me and I get exhausted just being there. I've gone to events and the like but it just ends up being me and my group of friends talking with nobody new coming into the group. I've gone to more events than ever and I'm making acquaintances but it's mostly guys, especially hyper-nerdy unsociable ones like myself to a degree. My friends don't really know anyone single.
I'm just going to live day by day now, and hope something happens. I'm hoping that, if nothing happens senior year, grad school will be different. Maybe when I get an internship over the summer I'll meet someone. Otherwise it's not looking too good.
When I try to think about why I want someone in my life, it's mostly for companionship. I want someone who understands me well and can deal with my faults yet still desire me for who I am. Someone who wants to spend time with me, and I want to spend time with her, each taking turns doing what the other wants to do and also doing mutually fun things together. Someone who I feel complete with and she feels likewise. Someone who's still independent and herself but respects who I am, while I respect who she is. Someone who's always around when I need her but also isn't there 24/7 unless we both feel comfortable with that. Basically, I want something more than a best friend. I don't even have a best friend right now, I mean I used to but now he lives in New York so I rarely see him.
I used to be comfortable alone, but now I'm not. I've spent so much time by myself that it drives me nuts. I need to be around people now, but paradoxically it drains me being around people. I'm not happy with my current life. I'm doing well in school, I've just gotten into Psi Chi and I might have an internship at Columbia lined up. But that's not making me happy. I'm never really scrounging for cash since I don't buy much stuff, I live comfortably, and I have friends, but I'm still unhappy.
I don't want to go into a relationship expecting someone to make me happy, but it feels like instinctively that's what's missing in this puzzle. I feel this inner primal drive to be with someone. And right now that's the only thing I haven't tried to make me happy. My default mood is sad, and when something good happens it bumps me up to neutral or even happy for a split second, but I'm never in a good, jolly mood, regardless of the persona I put up.
Honestly its just this waiting that's killing me now. The uncertainty is gone, and now it's just impatience. Video games have helped me escape this feeling, but being with friends somehow intensifies it. I don't want to crawl back into my pre-college lifestyle of videogames + school + sleep but it's the most rewarding thing right now. When I'm sleeping or playing video games I'm not thinking and I'm not depressed. When I'm out and about I get self-conscious, nervous, anxious, depressed and agitated, even though I can hide it well (although leaving 30 minutes into a party could give off an impression). I feel like my best plan of action is to cope with my life now until I get out of college and then things will get better.
Well, enough about me. People have way worse problems then I do.[/QUOTE]
Wow, it's the exact same for me, basically everything you said. I can't offer advice, other than what I do which is just look forward to the possibilities of the future, but the waiting kills me. Pretty much most of my life feels like it was spent just waiting for something to happen. But, shit, I can certainly relate.
Walked my dog with my dad. We talked about family and how we always have one another's backs. I am coming around, granted I felt the need today to want to my ex again, I started up piano. Switching from texting on a touch screen to playing crappy frank ocean covers on my grandma's baby grand piano. Still keeping active. Coursera courses keeping me busy, studying for my AP's, and still finding time to bro it out with my family and friends. I am able to eat full meals since my party.
Major issue though, prom is the second weekend in may, but so is my older brother's graduation, he's graduating with qualitative and quantitative economics, with a cs minor. He's being awarded with the department highest honor. There is granted to be a night of parties with chicks. However, my friends had the idea to bro it out all night eating crappy food until late in the morning, the problem is that I really don't want to miss my brother getting awarded plus graduating. Also don't want to miss my senior prom.
So I guess it works like this.
Go to prom asking out a girl I like, but can't be sure if she wants me to ask her out and go party with my friends until late.
Or
Go to my brother's graduation and party with family and possibility of hanging out with some college chicks.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40286958]point was that forcing something on to someone who doesn't want it isn't going to make them suddenly want it[/QUOTE]
Their logic is "It makes me feel good, it'll make him feel good too"
I'm contemplating whether or not I should get back with my ex.. It's a long and complicated story, but I just don't know.
When I first went out with her, it only lasted a few weeks because she was really clingy and I wasn't really used to relationships (hadn't been in one for a loooooong time), but now after a few different girls. I'm starting to have feelings for her again, but I don't know if it'll work out, and if it doesn't I really don't want to break her heart again and mess it up, the first break-up was bad enough..
Hey.
So I posted here not too long ago and now I am finally going to ask this girl out, I have what I am gonna say and everything. I tried today and I just couldn't do it. She was walking with only one friend so that made it less intimidating but I just couldn't do it. I am afraid that I will just mess it up or she will laugh at me or something... Hopefully I will try again tomorrow. Any tips...?
[QUOTE=Deri102;40306082]I'm contemplating whether or not I should get back with my ex.. It's a long and complicated story, but I just don't know.
When I first went out with her, it only lasted a few weeks because she was really clingy and I wasn't really used to relationships (hadn't been in one for a loooooong time), but now after a few different girls. I'm starting to have feelings for her again, but I don't know if it'll work out, and if it doesn't I really don't want to break her heart again and mess it up, the first break-up was bad enough..[/QUOTE]
Read back in the thread a little bit was some guy with similar feelings.
Same advice for you, really think over why the relationship ended and if you think that will change.
[editline]16th April 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Duskling;40306246]Hey.
So I posted here not too long ago and now I am finally going to ask this girl out, I have what I am gonna say and everything. I tried today and I just couldn't do it. She was walking with only one friend so that made it less intimidating but I just couldn't do it. I am afraid that I will just mess it up or she will laugh at me or something... Hopefully I will try again tomorrow. Any tips...?[/QUOTE]
Don't plan what you going to say. And don't worry too much abut being smooth. Just throw yourself into it in a way you can't avoid (something ive learned from my bf, how he gets stuff done) say something like "Hey I wanted to ask you something", which is easier to get out than actually asking them but leaves you having to ask them.
Since being broken up with the girl now for a month, I'm completely relieved of all feelings for/towards her.
Then. I get this OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE:
[quote]I love you and I always will. I miss you. I will always love you and be here for you if you need me.[/quote]
DontThinkSo.jpg
So, I have been talking with a girl on Facebook for a little more than a week now, and I keep talking to her during lunch break on school. Conversations can become quite personal sometimes, but that is only when I speak to her alone. She seems to not mind having me around or talking to me. I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I'm not sure how to go on from there. Also, if you propose a date, when do I know it is time?
Also, we are sitting in the same friend group, in which we hang out with each other on school, but it is hard to get an individual conversation going when there are other friends around with a group discussion, any tips?
[QUOTE=martijnp3000;40316722]So, I have been talking with a girl on Facebook for a little more than a week now, and I keep talking to her during lunch break on school. Conversations can become quite personal sometimes, but that is only when I speak to her alone. She seems to not mind having me around or talking to me. I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I'm not sure how to go on from there. Also, if you propose a date, when do I know it is time?
Also, we are sitting in the same friend group, in which we hang out with each other on school, but it is hard to get an individual conversation going when there are other friends around with a group discussion, any tips?[/QUOTE]
ask her out, then it'll be guaranteed individual conversation and you'll get even closer to her
A way to ask someone out.
This is very crude.
"Do you eat food?"
"Do you want to eat food together?"
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