• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
Since everyone seems to think that the girl bailed on me -- not saying she didn't -- I might as well put the whole story. So, I live on campus housing in a university. The girl I like lives 2 doors down from me. One day, we meet up with each other as we're going back to our dorms. We strike up a conversation as we walk down. When we get to my room, and we're about to say bye, I ask her if she has anything planned later on today. She says she has classes all day, but dinner would be fine. Now, dinner is at the on campus restaurant that we had to pay a meal plan for. It's about a minute walk from our dorms. It also stays open until 7PM. I text her around 4 asking if 6 would be fine for dinner. She replies that she may be running after class, and that she'll text me after. Come 5:40, no reply. So, I send her a text confirming 6, and saying that I would come over to her dorm so we could walk down to the restaurant together. At 6, I'm in front of her door, when I get a message that says she's just taken a shower and that it would take a little while to get ready and to reschedule. I head back to my room and reply with "Sure, just text me when." So far so good, right? She's taking her time to get ready, so she'll just text me when she's done... 6:30, nothing. 6:40, nothing. 6:50, nothing. Alright, so maybe she's just taking her time. I still have a back up plan if we don't make it to dinner. I text my friend at 7 to see if he's seen her at dinner. He replies that he saw her at dinner a while ago sitting with her roommate. And, here we are. I guess it is possible that she stood me up. I don't know if I should believe the dead phone excuse. It's very likely she thought it was just hanging out and that I wasn't the first thing on her mind. But, that just means she isn't very interested with me. Guess I overreacted before and am in some denial. Shit sucks, though. She was the only girl I was interested in.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42576057]...She was the only girl I was interested in.[/QUOTE] There are plenty more fish in the sea, dude. You don't have to get worked up over one girl.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42577032]There are plenty more fish in the sea, dude. You don't have to get worked up over one girl.[/QUOTE] I still have 3 years left in college. And there's like a total of like 100 girls at the university I go to. 80% are commuters, 60% are in a relationship, 30% are unattractive, and 10% have guys flocking around them. There are maybe 2 or 3 girls I may have a chance with, but guys literally flock them. They always have a posse of like 3 or 4 guys with them at all times. I don't see myself getting with them any time soon. Not with the confidence I have now. I know there are people outside of college, but I'm hardly ever going to be out of it, unless I get a job. Even then, I'll probably not find anyone for a while. I'm definitely going to try, though.
Where do you go?
okay so i cannot get over my ex after about a month that we have been single. she got a boyfriend 7 days after we broke up. I go one her tumblr about every day and i'm trying to break the habit and its hard. but i went on her tumblr today and saw she posted that she got rug burn from having sex today. it hurt me a lot. my heart hurts. i just sent her a text asking if it hurt because i can't handle it. i need help. i really was doing well but i cant anymore i feel upset and pissed off.
geez, go meet other girls, what are you doing still with your ex from a month ago
[QUOTE=Cups;42579500]okay so i cannot get over my ex after about a month that we have been single. she got a boyfriend 7 days after we broke up. I go one her tumblr about every day and i'm trying to break the habit and its hard. but i went on her tumblr today and saw she posted that she got rug burn from having sex today. it hurt me a lot. my heart hurts. i just sent her a text asking if it hurt because i can't handle it. i need help. i really was doing well but i cant anymore i feel upset and pissed off.[/QUOTE] don't go on her fucking tumblr block it if you have to also that text was probably the worst decision ever go do other things with your life or find a hobby. hang out with your friends, talk about it if you need to, but it's been a month; just do other shit man. if you're sitting around you're just gonna think about it. my one ex lost her virginity less than a month after we broke up after we went out for 2 years or some shit and it really wasn't the end of the world. you'll be all good nigga, just give it some time and accept the situation
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42579468]Where do you go?[/QUOTE] I go to a technology university. Engineering, Computer Science, all that jazz. There is a university like 10-20 miles away that has like a 4:1 ratio of girls to guys, though. So, I could always go there for parties and stuff, I guess.
[QUOTE=Cups;42579500]okay so i cannot get over my ex after about a month that we have been single. she got a boyfriend 7 days after we broke up. I go one her tumblr about every day and i'm trying to break the habit and its hard. but i went on her tumblr today and saw she posted that she got rug burn from having sex today. it hurt me a lot. my heart hurts. i just sent her a text asking if it hurt because i can't handle it. i need help. i really was doing well but i cant anymore i feel upset and pissed off.[/QUOTE] dude who would you rather be, her or you Yeah you guys broke up and she couldn't even handle the idea of being without someone that much that she immediately went and picked up someone else - trust me, she needs him more than she loves him You need to find the distinction between your relationship and yourself so start working on that. Stop looking at her tumblr for a start. Start looking into yourself for the person that you are and detach yourself from that relationship
Repost, felt this thread fit to this problem. Aye, I've got an.. interesting problem to say the least. I've been in a friendship with two girls over the internet, I've known one for about 3 years and have become very good friends with them, and the other I've known since about July maybe. The odd part, though is that the one I've known since summer recently hinted they have a crush on me. Only problem, [sp]they're 19 (was out of school in the 6th-8th I think) and a 10th grader which isn't exactly a problem, mostly the 19 thing. And I'm 15, and a 9th grader[/sp]. Do you see how this might be a little.. awkward? Even worse, I kind of have a crush on the one that I've known for 3 years (I haven't told either yet about this). Which as you can imagine, causes a bit of a problem since they're both good friends too and the one with a crush on me has a "third wheel" sort of problem aka they feel un-included sometimes. I also didn't say to them when they announced the "crush" thing I didn't exactly feel that way about them and want to remain friends. So really to sum this confusing post up, I'm trying to convey to the friend that has a crush on me that I just want to be friends without screwing a lot of shit up and making a bunch of drama. Just, if anyone cares to help PM me on facepunch so I can provide more info there.
This is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. I posted a while back about a girl who kept postponing the second date after a good first one. Well she stopped and we went out again and everything was great, and ended in a long kiss. BUT NOW, she's postponing the third even more and soon it'll be two weeks since the last one. She was legitimately sick for a few days, but this other stuff comes up and it just makes me feel like I'm at the very bottom of her priority list. And she drags this on day after day after day. Every single day it's been "I can't today but maybe tomorrow". It's driving me crazy. She's very insistent that she wants to see me again, but surely, if someone was truly that interested they could figure out how to make time work within an entire two weeks? Should I just kind of lay it on the line that I can't I keep doing this? She seems great other than this, and I don't want to seem too desperate or give up too easily.
Gah, I have this friend who I've been frustratingly been trying to give advice to. He's in high school and keeps telling me of all these "weird vibes" girls are apparently always giving him. And says he has the inability to make friends with girls because he doesn't want it to turn into a relationship and even if he did he says he's too scared for the "unpredictable events" that come with a relationship. And makes a big whoop about "this girl at homecoming made eye contact with my like 5 times each time I saw her" and he wants to apologize to her on Monday for not saying "hey" then proceeds to tell me he doesn't care about her that much after I gave him some advice, which was basically "JUST TALK TO HER AND SAY HI ITS NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!" i'm just frustrated with him for not at least taking some of my advice. Just needed to vent that out. I just feel like I was like him once and if someone told me what I told him, I think I would have had a head start at being more social.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42578752]I still have 3 years left in college. And there's like a total of like 100 girls at the university I go to. 80% are commuters, 60% are in a relationship, 30% are unattractive, and 10% have guys flocking around them. There are maybe 2 or 3 girls I may have a chance with, but guys literally flock them. They always have a posse of like 3 or 4 guys with them at all times. I don't see myself getting with them any time soon. Not with the confidence I have now. I know there are people outside of college, but I'm hardly ever going to be out of it, unless I get a job. Even then, I'll probably not find anyone for a while. I'm definitely going to try, though.[/QUOTE] Stop. Just stop. You're pulling completely arbitrary numbers out of your deluded asshole. You have not talked to, met, or even seen the vast majority of the females at your university. Don't pretend you have. You are in no position to create some bullshit breakdown of their demographics. You're like those stupid faggots who lock on to one girl in high school and go, "BUT ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE SLUTS AND STUPID AND BORING OR TAKEN," when it's just some bullshit delusion they're creating to make themselves feel better about not approaching girls. Girls can be friends with guys, you know. Just because she has guy friends she's hanging out with doesn't mean they're "flocking" to her. It also means fuck all, if she was interested in one she'd be going out with him, it's safe to assume any dude "flocking" around a girl doesn't have a chance. If you're too much of a pussy to approach girls or whatever then own up to it. But don't create these bullshit excuses thinking we're gonna buy that shit. [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Hasn't learned from previous bans" - Megafan))[/highlight]
i missed your posts maverick [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-allears.gif[/IMG]
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42581349]Stop. Just stop. You're pulling completely arbitrary numbers out of your deluded asshole. You have not talked to, met, or even seen the vast majority of the females at your university. Don't pretend you have. You are in no position to create some bullshit breakdown of their demographics. You're like those stupid faggots who lock on to one girl in high school and go, "BUT ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE SLUTS AND STUPID AND BORING OR TAKEN," when it's just some bullshit delusion they're creating to make themselves feel better about not approaching girls. Girls can be friends with guys, you know. Just because she has guy friends she's hanging out with doesn't mean they're "flocking" to her. It also means fuck all, if she was interested in one she'd be going out with him, it's safe to assume any dude "flocking" around a girl doesn't have a chance. If you're too much of a pussy to approach girls or whatever then own up to it. But don't create these bullshit excuses thinking we're gonna buy that shit.[/QUOTE] Fine, I'm a complete pussy when it comes to girls. I don't know the first thing to do with them and I don't see myself getting any better any time soon. My confidence is shit, my personality is shit, my self-esteem is shit, everything about me is complete shit. Only reason I lock on to one girl is because I can't talk to any other girl. I'm a pathetic pile of shit.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42581349]Stop. Just stop. You're pulling completely arbitrary numbers out of your deluded asshole. You have not talked to, met, or even seen the vast majority of the females at your university. Don't pretend you have. You are in no position to create some bullshit breakdown of their demographics. You're like those stupid faggots who lock on to one girl in high school and go, "BUT ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE SLUTS AND STUPID AND BORING OR TAKEN," when it's just some bullshit delusion they're creating to make themselves feel better about not approaching girls. Girls can be friends with guys, you know. Just because she has guy friends she's hanging out with doesn't mean they're "flocking" to her. It also means fuck all, if she was interested in one she'd be going out with him, it's safe to assume any dude "flocking" around a girl doesn't have a chance. If you're too much of a pussy to approach girls or whatever then own up to it. But don't create these bullshit excuses thinking we're gonna buy that shit.[/QUOTE] you're being incredibly antagonistic for no reason. calling people faggots is not why this thread exists. [editline]19th October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Emugod;42581507]Fine, I'm a complete pussy when it comes to girls. I don't know the first thing to do with them and I don't see myself getting any better any time soon. My confidence is shit, my personality is shit, my self-esteem is shit, everything about me is complete shit. Only reason I lock on to one girl is because I can't talk to any other girl. I'm a pathetic pile of shit.[/QUOTE] get over it? like i said don't try to get us to validate your excuses.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581507]Fine, I'm a complete pussy when it comes to girls. I don't know the first thing to do with them and I don't see myself getting any better any time soon. My confidence is shit, my personality is shit, my self-esteem is shit, everything about me is complete shit. Only reason I lock on to one girl is because I can't talk to any other girl. I'm a pathetic pile of shit.[/QUOTE] You're starting to sound like me, which is bad. Very bad.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581507]Fine, I'm a complete pussy when it comes to girls. I don't know the first thing to do with them and I don't see myself getting any better any time soon. My confidence is shit, my personality is shit, my self-esteem is shit, everything about me is complete shit. Only reason I lock on to one girl is because I can't talk to any other girl. I'm a pathetic pile of shit.[/QUOTE] Try being friends with more girls first then? I don't know but I have a huge majority of girl friends then guy friends and are around them more so in situations when I talk to a stranger who is a girl, I am completely ok. Plus like someone said, don't be afraid to screw up and if you do it will work toward you not caring because I can make everyone laugh and make a fool out of my self, couldn't care less and it helps, going to a friends university Halloween party dressed as the yellow angry bird most likely, it will definitely be memorable for everyone there and stands the hell out :v: Hell people still talk about my last Halloween costume and laugh, you just got to work on this stuff, trust me, I used to be nervous and scared like you before.
[QUOTE=bobsynergy;42581587]Try being friends with more girls first then? I don't know but I have a huge majority of girl friends then guy friends and are around them more so in situations when I talk to a stranger who is a girl, I am completely ok. Plus like someone said, don't be afraid to screw up and if you do it will work toward you not caring because I can make everyone laugh and make a fool out of my self, couldn't care less and it helps, going to a friends university Halloween party dressed as the yellow angry bird most likely, it will definitely be memorable for everyone there and stands the hell out :v: Hell people still talk about my last Halloween costume and laugh, you just got to work on this stuff, trust me, I used to be nervous and scared like you before.[/QUOTE] I have like 6 friends that are girls. 3 are in relationships, 2 of them are unattractive, and the girl is the only one left. There's maybe only like 20 girls that live on campus. Most of them are in relationships. Many of them are unattractive. And the others, I don't see myself having a chance with. [QUOTE=thisispain;42581544] get over it? like i said don't try to get us to validate your excuses. [/quote] Don't think I haven't been trying. Kinda hard after being sheltered most of my life and having been through depression. Doesn't really help my confidence/self-esteem. This thread isn't really making it any better. I can feel my depression slowly coming back. I'm working on it slowly, it's just taking its time.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581682]I have like 6 friends that are girls. 3 are in relationships, 2 of them are unattractive, and the girl is the only one left. There's maybe only like 20 girls that live on campus. Most of them are in relationships. Many of them are unattractive. And the others, I don't see myself having a chance with. Don't think I haven't been trying. Kinda hard after being sheltered most of my life and having been through depression. Doesn't really help my confidence/self-esteem. I'm working on it slowly, it's just taking its time.[/QUOTE] Well I really just mean be friends first, don't look for a relationship with them, just look at them as friends, how comfortable are you around those girl friends? I'm extremely comfortable with mine and hang out with them often. And yeah it will get 500 times better, you just have to change your attitude a bit and work on it, I came from being sheltered and going from private all guy schools constantly and being in a conservative Christian family, I broke out of that completely to the point it doesn't even seem like I'm related to my family, I'm just massively different then them. So yeah man I was like you once, trust me you will get out of it <3
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42581574]You're starting to sound like me, which is bad. Very bad.[/QUOTE] please stop being 'that guy'
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581682] Don't think I haven't been trying. Kinda hard after being sheltered most of my life and having been through depression. Doesn't really help my confidence/self-esteem. This thread isn't really making it any better. I can feel my depression slowly coming back. I'm working on it slowly, it's just taking its time.[/QUOTE] ugh dont take this thread so seriously. the idea is to not make excuses and try to be as pro-active as possible. you want to get better, focus on that and don't worry about the emotional baggage.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581682]Don't think I haven't been trying. Kinda hard after being sheltered most of my life and having been through depression. Doesn't really help my confidence/self-esteem. This thread isn't really making it any better. I can feel my depression slowly coming back. I'm working on it slowly, it's just taking its time.[/QUOTE] your parents and your elementary school teachers might have rewarded you for trying, but your professors, bosses, and dates aren't going to care if you're trying but just can't seem to succeed in life. some people have a harder time adapting than others. everyone has their weaknesses. but at the end of the day it's your responsibility to learn how to deal with the same daily occurrences everyone else deals with.
[QUOTE=VietRooster2;42580240]Repost, felt this thread fit to this problem. Aye, I've got an.. interesting problem to say the least. I've been in a friendship with two girls over the internet, I've known one for about 3 years and have become very good friends with them, and the other I've known since about July maybe. The odd part, though is that the one I've known since summer recently hinted they have a crush on me. Only problem, [sp]they're 19 (was out of school in the 6th-8th I think) and a 10th grader which isn't exactly a problem, mostly the 19 thing. And I'm 15, and a 9th grader[/sp]. Do you see how this might be a little.. awkward? Even worse, I kind of have a crush on the one that I've known for 3 years (I haven't told either yet about this). Which as you can imagine, causes a bit of a problem since they're both good friends too and the one with a crush on me has a "third wheel" sort of problem aka they feel un-included sometimes. I also didn't say to them when they announced the "crush" thing I didn't exactly feel that way about them and want to remain friends. So really to sum this confusing post up, I'm trying to convey to the friend that has a crush on me that I just want to be friends without screwing a lot of shit up and making a bunch of drama. Just, if anyone cares to help PM me on facepunch so I can provide more info there.[/QUOTE] PM me if you need some help. [editline]20th October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Dyson6;42580437]This is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. I posted a while back about a girl who kept postponing the second date after a good first one. Well she stopped and we went out again and everything was great, and ended in a long kiss. BUT NOW, she's postponing the third even more and soon it'll be two weeks since the last one. She was legitimately sick for a few days, but this other stuff comes up and it just makes me feel like I'm at the very bottom of her priority list. And she drags this on day after day after day. Every single day it's been "I can't today but maybe tomorrow". It's driving me crazy. She's very insistent that she wants to see me again, but surely, if someone was truly that interested they could figure out how to make time work within an entire two weeks? Should I just kind of lay it on the line that I can't I keep doing this? She seems great other than this, and I don't want to seem too desperate or give up too easily.[/QUOTE] You have to decide if she is worth your time. It might be best just to give her space.
[QUOTE=Harnbrand;42208446]I've been courting a woman who means a great deal to me. We met over the internet many years ago and became good friends, and she wants us to meet in person to find out how compatible we are face to face - And to test our sexual chemistry. That meeting, due to a promise I made, is slated for the 30th of November, 2013. I don't often share anything so personal online, but I need to vent, I guess. And any advice or encouragement you can offer will go very far.[/QUOTE] I'd posted that in the 'Let's be real' thread about a month ago. The day before yesterday, she ended that hope, broke up with me, in an e-mail. And I can't even hold that against her, knowing her. She handles confrontation very poorly, and sucks at communication. Doesn't want to talk it over. This happened because she had a doubt or a fear that I was not aware of, and instead of telling me about it she let it grow until it convinced her the best course of action would be to break things off - Less than forty-five days before we were to meet. Four years of friendship, where hardly a week went by when I didn't chat with her at least once, gone, in a Dear John conveyed by e-mail. We'd talked about meeting for more than a year, and I'd even skipped a year of college for her sake (Because if I had stayed and attended, my internship would not have allowed me to take any days off). Allow me to explain what our relationship, if it happened, would've been like. She's a very sexual person, and submissive by nature, to an extreme. She is the sort of girl who, quite simply, gets off on letting her guy do anything he wants to her, any time and almost anywhere he feels like it. The master/slave thing was something we'd often discussed, and that she seemed eager to try. That she knew me well and that she wanted me was, for me, a wonderful feeling. It gave me confidence in my day-to-day life, gave me something to look forward to. I equated her trust in me and her regard for me to her willingness to be my plaything. She was a grown woman who wanted us to meet so she could test our compatibility face-to-face, and if that worked, we'd likely move to be closer to each other - And both of us had the means. Now, that's gone. And the confidence with it. If I try really hard and I can clear my mind, I'm okay some times. I can look to the future, be grateful that I'm no longer committed to someone I met online, and that I no longer have to put my future on hold for anyone. But I was crazy about her. When I think of how easily she seems to have ended it, how casually, it's like there's a hole torn in me. I'm completely miserable almost all the time, I feel like I want to die (Though I'm not suicidal), and only work or heavy physical activity for a while mitigate that pain. If I made an effort, I could probably go out and find someone for a one-night stand without too much of a headache. I could find sexual release easily - But it'd feel incredibly wrong, and would probably make me feel even worse than I do now when it was done. She was incredible - The single most intelligent human being I'd ever met, and one of those with the richest life experience and perspective on the world. Over the time we knew each other, she helped shape my perspective on the world a great deal. We got along fantastically, and the combination of her quirks, her experiences, and her weaknesses all made her incredibly precious to me. Now life, my shitty dead-end job, and the chances I'll find someone who can match or beat the woman that she was look bleak. I felt like a man a week ago - I feel like an insect today, can't even meet the eyes of an attractive woman when I'm at my absolute lowest. How do you guys deal with it when someone important to you, someone who was a best friend AND someone with whom you expected much more, betrays your trust?
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42581828] You have to decide if she is worth your time. It might be best just to give her space.[/QUOTE] I guess that's what I did. I just texted her basically saying that I'm not going to ask anymore and for her to just tell me when and if she finds time. I got way too much other shit to focus on. I can't be stressing myself out over this if it's going nowhere.
Woop Maverick is perma'd again. That didn't last long.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42581349]Stop. Just stop. You're pulling completely arbitrary numbers out of your deluded asshole. You have not talked to, met, or even seen the vast majority of the females at your university. Don't pretend you have. You are in no position to create some bullshit breakdown of their demographics. You're like those stupid faggots who lock on to one girl in high school and go, "BUT ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE SLUTS AND STUPID AND BORING OR TAKEN," when it's just some bullshit delusion they're creating to make themselves feel better about not approaching girls. Girls can be friends with guys, you know. Just because she has guy friends she's hanging out with doesn't mean they're "flocking" to her. It also means fuck all, if she was interested in one she'd be going out with him, it's safe to assume any dude "flocking" around a girl doesn't have a chance. If you're too much of a pussy to approach girls or whatever then own up to it. But don't create these bullshit excuses thinking we're gonna buy that shit. [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Hasn't learned from previous bans" - Megafan))[/highlight][/QUOTE] oh boy emugod firstly why are commuters such a bad thing also if you don't believe you have confidence, then you don't have confidence the first step in anything is to believe you can do it!!!
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;42582199]oh boy emugod firstly why are commuters such a bad thing also if you don't believe you have confidence, then you don't have confidence the first step in anything is to believe you can do it!!![/QUOTE] Commuters go to class and go home. I won't exactly be seeing a person who commutes very often, especially if I don't have any classes with them. I have my good days and my off days. Sometimes I'm the most pathetic excuse for a person in the entire world, and other times I believe I can do anything. The former occurs much more often than the latter.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42582286]Commuters go to class and go home. I won't exactly be seeing a person who commutes very often, especially if I don't have any classes with them. I have my good days and my off days. Sometimes I'm the most pathetic excuse for a person in the entire world, and other times I believe I can do anything. The former occurs much more often than the latter.[/QUOTE] i'm well aware of what a commuter is i fail to see how it is a problem, because playing footsie in class is just kinda a college no no???? [editline]19th October 2013[/editline] also i have my bad days too that doesn't mean i reduce myself to nothing
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