Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Emugod;42582286]I have my good days and my off days. Sometimes I'm the most pathetic excuse for a person in the entire world, and other times I believe I can do anything. The former occurs much more often than the latter.[/QUOTE]
believe it or not, to the rest of the world you're the same person on all of those days. your own mood has a huge impact on how you view yourself but it doesn't necessarily mean everyone else is seeing the same thing.
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;42582380]i'm well aware of what a commuter is
i fail to see how it is a problem, because playing footsie in class is just kinda a college no no????
[editline]19th October 2013[/editline]
also i have my bad days too that doesn't mean i reduce myself to nothing[/QUOTE]
I just meant that commuters don't have time to hang out around campus, so I'll probably never see a commuter that just goes to class and goes home right after. I have two friends who are commuters, and I've seen one once in the 3 months I've been here and I haven't seen the other one at all.
And, I don't exactly know what you mean by "playing footsie is a college no no"...
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42582408]believe it or not, to the rest of the world you're the same person on all of those days. your own mood has a huge impact on how you view yourself but it doesn't necessarily mean everyone else is seeing the same thing.[/QUOTE]
If I'm having a shit day and putting myself down, I don't have the confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her. I'm more likely to talk to a girl when I feel good about myself.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42582408]believe it or not, to the rest of the world you're the same person on all of those days. your own mood has a huge impact on how you view yourself but it doesn't necessarily mean everyone else is seeing the same thing.[/QUOTE]
yeah but if someone's thinking they are a pathetic excuse for a human being, they are probably projecting it
[editline]19th October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Emugod;42582453]I just meant that commuters don't have time to hang out around campus, so I'll probably never see a commuter that just goes to class and goes home right after. I have two friends who are commuters, and I've seen one once in the 3 months I've been here and I haven't seen the other one at all.
And, I don't exactly know what you mean by "playing footsie is a college no no"...
If I'm having a shit day and putting myself down, I don't have the confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her. I'm more likely to talk to a girl when I feel good about myself.[/QUOTE]
commuters don't necessarily leave right away??
also srsly you don't know what playing footsie is? look you aren't going to be playing grabass during a lecture anyways so how is seeing the person in class relevant?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42581349]Stop.
Just stop.
You're pulling completely arbitrary numbers out of your deluded asshole. You have not talked to, met, or even seen the vast majority of the females at your university. Don't pretend you have. You are in no position to create some bullshit breakdown of their demographics.
You're like those stupid faggots who lock on to one girl in high school and go, "BUT ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE SLUTS AND STUPID AND BORING OR TAKEN," when it's just some bullshit delusion they're creating to make themselves feel better about not approaching girls. Girls can be friends with guys, you know. Just because she has guy friends she's hanging out with doesn't mean they're "flocking" to her. It also means fuck all, if she was interested in one she'd be going out with him, it's safe to assume any dude "flocking" around a girl doesn't have a chance.
If you're too much of a pussy to approach girls or whatever then own up to it. But don't create these bullshit excuses thinking we're gonna buy that shit.
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Hasn't learned from previous bans" - Megafan))[/highlight][/QUOTE]
[video=youtube;iMpXAknykeg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMpXAknykeg[/video]
[QUOTE=Emugod;42581682]I have like 6 friends that are girls. 3 are in relationships, 2 of them are unattractive, and the girl is the only one left. There's maybe only like 20 girls that live on campus. Most of them are in relationships. Many of them are unattractive. And the others, I don't see myself having a chance with.
Don't think I haven't been trying. Kinda hard after being sheltered most of my life and having been through depression. Doesn't really help my confidence/self-esteem. This thread isn't really making it any better. I can feel my depression slowly coming back. I'm working on it slowly, it's just taking its time.[/QUOTE]
2 of them are unattractive huh, i suppose you're a hottie then?
Hey guys, I feel like I'm at my wit's end and I need some help, but no clue where to turn anymore. I have been in this great friendship for 5 years now. His name is Nathan. He has always been there for me, and we were officially dating for about 3 years. 6 months ago, he broke up with me. I was devastated, but, life goes on. We remained good friends, until his new group started to bully me endlessly, and even right in front of me. He then begged me to take him back after they turned on him, I was the only friend he had then. Out of the pure niceness in my heart, I thought he had truly learned his lesson. My family took him on a trip with us to Prince Edward Island for a week during the summer (his family isn't very financially stable, so it was a big thing), and since going back to school for the fall semester, has found new friends. Which is awesome, I admit, good for him. But then he started to blow me off, and only hang out with them. He still insists he cares, still insists I'm his best friend, still insists he's doing nothing wrong. But he won't even hug me anymore. I'm completely torn up, he was practically my only friend in that school. So I finally decided, I have to leave this friendship. It's abusive, and I deserve better.
But it's hard to leave a friendship I've held so dear when his reassurances give me hope that things will once go back to the way they were. Trying to think of how much better ending it will be in the future gives me no condolences. It's not easy for me to make friends as I have social anxiety disorder. I am trying, but I was wondering on any tips to cope with this loss so I can get back on my feet?
[QUOTE=xBeyondtheLimit;42582969]Hey guys, I feel like I'm at my wit's end and I need some help, but no clue where to turn anymore. I have been in this great friendship for 5 years now. His name is Nathan. He has always been there for me, and we were officially dating for about 3 years. 6 months ago, he broke up with me. I was devastated, but, life goes on. We remained good friends, until his new group started to bully me endlessly, and even right in front of me. He then begged me to take him back after they turned on him, I was the only friend he had then. Out of the pure niceness in my heart, I thought he had truly learned his lesson. My family took him on a trip with us to Prince Edward Island for a week during the summer (his family isn't very financially stable, so it was a big thing), and since going back to school for the fall semester, has found new friends. Which is awesome, I admit, good for him. But then he started to blow me off, and only hang out with them. He still insists he cares, still insists I'm his best friend, still insists he's doing nothing wrong. But he won't even hug me anymore. I'm completely torn up, he was practically my only friend in that school. So I finally decided, I have to leave this friendship. It's abusive, and I deserve better.
But it's hard to leave a friendship I've held so dear when his reassurances give me hope that things will once go back to the way they were. Trying to think of how much better ending it will be in the future gives me no condolences. It's not easy for me to make friends as I have social anxiety disorder. I am trying, but I was wondering on any tips to cope with this loss so I can get back on my feet?[/QUOTE]
what lesson exactly did you think he had finally learned?
[QUOTE=Dyson6;42581978]I guess that's what I did. I just texted her basically saying that I'm not going to ask anymore and for her to just tell me when and if she finds time.
I got way too much other shit to focus on. I can't be stressing myself out over this if it's going nowhere.[/QUOTE]
hmm somehow I dont think that was the best move. And I guess when you constantly kept asking her was pretty unhelpful too. Like, receiving a text from someone every now and then asking "Are you free now? Can we go out? Im so desperate!". Not really a good impression.
Next time, just ask her when she's free, and she'll tell you what time shes available to go out. If she flakes you, dont make a big deal out of it, and reschedule it a couple of days later if she doesnt do it in the first place.
[QUOTE=Harnbrand;42581972]I'd posted that in the 'Let's be real' thread about a month ago.
The day before yesterday, she ended that hope, broke up with me, in an e-mail. And I can't even hold that against her, knowing her. She handles confrontation very poorly, and sucks at communication. Doesn't want to talk it over. This happened because she had a doubt or a fear that I was not aware of, and instead of telling me about it she let it grow until it convinced her the best course of action would be to break things off - Less than forty-five days before we were to meet.
Four years of friendship, where hardly a week went by when I didn't chat with her at least once, gone, in a Dear John conveyed by e-mail. We'd talked about meeting for more than a year, and I'd even skipped a year of college for her sake (Because if I had stayed and attended, my internship would not have allowed me to take any days off).
Allow me to explain what our relationship, if it happened, would've been like. She's a very sexual person, and submissive by nature, to an extreme. She is the sort of girl who, quite simply, gets off on letting her guy do anything he wants to her, any time and almost anywhere he feels like it. The master/slave thing was something we'd often discussed, and that she seemed eager to try. That she knew me well and that she wanted me was, for me, a wonderful feeling. It gave me confidence in my day-to-day life, gave me something to look forward to. I equated her trust in me and her regard for me to her willingness to be my plaything. She was a grown woman who wanted us to meet so she could test our compatibility face-to-face, and if that worked, we'd likely move to be closer to each other - And both of us had the means. Now, that's gone. And the confidence with it.
If I try really hard and I can clear my mind, I'm okay some times. I can look to the future, be grateful that I'm no longer committed to someone I met online, and that I no longer have to put my future on hold for anyone.
But I was crazy about her. When I think of how easily she seems to have ended it, how casually, it's like there's a hole torn in me. I'm completely miserable almost all the time, I feel like I want to die (Though I'm not suicidal), and only work or heavy physical activity for a while mitigate that pain.
If I made an effort, I could probably go out and find someone for a one-night stand without too much of a headache. I could find sexual release easily - But it'd feel incredibly wrong, and would probably make me feel even worse than I do now when it was done.
She was incredible - The single most intelligent human being I'd ever met, and one of those with the richest life experience and perspective on the world. Over the time we knew each other, she helped shape my perspective on the world a great deal. We got along fantastically, and the combination of her quirks, her experiences, and her weaknesses all made her incredibly precious to me.
Now life, my shitty dead-end job, and the chances I'll find someone who can match or beat the woman that she was look bleak. I felt like a man a week ago - I feel like an insect today, can't even meet the eyes of an attractive woman when I'm at my absolute lowest.
How do you guys deal with it when someone important to you, someone who was a best friend AND someone with whom you expected much more, betrays your trust?[/QUOTE]
She realized how much bullshit hype you two built up, and bailed. Go out, get that one night stand you claim to pull off so easily and realize you wasted time on one of those long distance fantasies you can read all about in the furry mega thread.
made out with this girl really drunk at a party last night
one minute we were standing there, the next we were in the bathroom getting heavy for a while when rain started and we went to run in it (it hasn't rained where i live in like, six months. it's a big thing)
point is, i get that it was a casual thing and casual shit happens at parties and you don't really need to be like "hey we need to define this" but she's a person with really shit self esteem whereas i'm pretty high on life right now
do i need to talk to her about how she's feeling about herself? we went to high school and shit together so we know each other a little but nothing personal but i think it might be a decent thing to do except hooking up with her complicates it because she might think i'm trying to start something when i'm not.
so what do?
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
maverick would be able to help. i miss maverick.
I'm still fucking stressing about me not being attracted to anyone, I think it's just all in my head.
[QUOTE=Aries;42583748]made out with this girl really drunk at a party last night
one minute we were standing there, the next we were in the bathroom getting heavy for a while when rain started and we went to run in it (it hasn't rained where i live in like, six months. it's a big thing)
point is, i get that it was a casual thing and casual shit happens at parties and you don't really need to be like "hey we need to define this" but she's a person with really shit self esteem whereas i'm pretty high on life right now
do i need to talk to her about how she's feeling about herself? we went to high school and shit together so we know each other a little but nothing personal but i think it might be a decent thing to do except hooking up with her complicates it because she might think i'm trying to start something when i'm not.
so what do?
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
maverick would be able to help. i miss maverick.[/QUOTE]
i dunno, what would you get from talking to her again?
[QUOTE=Aries;42583748]made out with this girl really drunk at a party last night
one minute we were standing there, the next we were in the bathroom getting heavy for a while when rain started and we went to run in it (it hasn't rained where i live in like, six months. it's a big thing)
point is, i get that it was a casual thing and casual shit happens at parties and you don't really need to be like "hey we need to define this" but she's a person with really shit self esteem whereas i'm pretty high on life right now
do i need to talk to her about how she's feeling about herself? we went to high school and shit together so we know each other a little but nothing personal but i think it might be a decent thing to do except hooking up with her complicates it because she might think i'm trying to start something when i'm not.
so what do?
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
maverick would be able to help. i miss maverick.[/QUOTE]
I don't think you need to talk about casual things like those unless you do this again.
[QUOTE=Harnbrand;42581972]I'd posted that in the 'Let's be real' thread about a month ago.
The day before yesterday, she ended that hope, broke up with me, in an e-mail. And I can't even hold that against her, knowing her. She handles confrontation very poorly, and sucks at communication. Doesn't want to talk it over. This happened because she had a doubt or a fear that I was not aware of, and instead of telling me about it she let it grow until it convinced her the best course of action would be to break things off - Less than forty-five days before we were to meet.
Four years of friendship, where hardly a week went by when I didn't chat with her at least once, gone, in a Dear John conveyed by e-mail. We'd talked about meeting for more than a year, and I'd even skipped a year of college for her sake (Because if I had stayed and attended, my internship would not have allowed me to take any days off).
Allow me to explain what our relationship, if it happened, would've been like. She's a very sexual person, and submissive by nature, to an extreme. She is the sort of girl who, quite simply, gets off on letting her guy do anything he wants to her, any time and almost anywhere he feels like it. The master/slave thing was something we'd often discussed, and that she seemed eager to try. That she knew me well and that she wanted me was, for me, a wonderful feeling. It gave me confidence in my day-to-day life, gave me something to look forward to. I equated her trust in me and her regard for me to her willingness to be my plaything. She was a grown woman who wanted us to meet so she could test our compatibility face-to-face, and if that worked, we'd likely move to be closer to each other - And both of us had the means. Now, that's gone. And the confidence with it.
If I try really hard and I can clear my mind, I'm okay some times. I can look to the future, be grateful that I'm no longer committed to someone I met online, and that I no longer have to put my future on hold for anyone.
But I was crazy about her. When I think of how easily she seems to have ended it, how casually, it's like there's a hole torn in me. I'm completely miserable almost all the time, I feel like I want to die (Though I'm not suicidal), and only work or heavy physical activity for a while mitigate that pain.
If I made an effort, I could probably go out and find someone for a one-night stand without too much of a headache. I could find sexual release easily - But it'd feel incredibly wrong, and would probably make me feel even worse than I do now when it was done.
She was incredible - The single most intelligent human being I'd ever met, and one of those with the richest life experience and perspective on the world. Over the time we knew each other, she helped shape my perspective on the world a great deal. We got along fantastically, and the combination of her quirks, her experiences, and her weaknesses all made her incredibly precious to me.
Now life, my shitty dead-end job, and the chances I'll find someone who can match or beat the woman that she was look bleak. I felt like a man a week ago - I feel like an insect today, can't even meet the eyes of an attractive woman when I'm at my absolute lowest.
How do you guys deal with it when someone important to you, someone who was a best friend AND someone with whom you expected much more, betrays your trust?[/QUOTE]
You are silly for getting that emotionally attached to someone you never actually met in real life, go get some real girls
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
They might not even have been a girl for all you know
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;42583929]I'm still fucking stressing about me not being attracted to anyone, I think it's just all in my head.[/QUOTE]
It is all in your head, you don't need to keep posting about this. You've been given tons of advice about this already.
Look forward to you making another identical post tomorrow.
A couple days ago, I saw this guy whom I was best friends with when we were kids. It's been like 8-10 years since we last saw each other, holy shit. This is so fucking cool.
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[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42581349]
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Hasn't learned from previous bans" - Megafan))[/highlight][/QUOTE]
megafan does something good in his life for once.
Yeah, turned 21 today! Gonna meet so many hot barflies!
[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42585784]Yeah, turned 21 today! Gonna meet so many hot barflies![/QUOTE]
lol i turned 20 today cool
[QUOTE=Bobie;42585941]lol i turned 20 today cool[/QUOTE]
Yeah! Happy birthday man! It's one long year, I tell you.
Thread music
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gql9220Qon8[/media]
[QUOTE=innerfire34;42583085]what lesson exactly did you think he had finally learned?[/QUOTE]
He said he learned that they weren't the right kind of people to be hanging out with and that he was truly, deeply sorry for neglecting me. I thought he really did learn that.
[QUOTE=D3TBS;42583360]hmm somehow I dont think that was the best move. And I guess when you constantly kept asking her was pretty unhelpful too. Like, receiving a text from someone every now and then asking "Are you free now? Can we go out? Im so desperate!". Not really a good impression.
Next time, just ask her when she's free, and she'll tell you what time shes available to go out. If she flakes you, dont make a big deal out of it, and reschedule it a couple of days later if she doesnt do it in the first place.[/QUOTE]
Sorry, I guess I wasn't very clear on what's going on here. For a while I would just ask if she's free every few days and something always came up. Eventually, it was clear she had no idea what was going on herself and she just kept saying "Maybe tomorrow" so I just went along with that for a little while. I didn't like that impression I felt I was giving off so I still feel like the best course of action is to let her get things sorted out if that's really the issue and she can contact me if she wants.
In most cases I would have bailed out weeks ago honestly, but I like her more than anyone else I've tried to date in a long time, and even if she's not interested, I do know she legitimately has a lot of shit going on right now.
[QUOTE=Omniskull;42584411]You are silly for getting that emotionally attached to someone you never actually met in real life, go get some real girls
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
They might not even have been a girl for all you know[/QUOTE]
i really can't stand this attitude. i know countless couples who met online through something besides a dating site and are happily together. 20% of committed relationships start online. and you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here, you don't know if they've seen photos of each other, talked over webcam etc or not. and he said they were like this for years - how many people do you think would keep up a charade of being some guy's internet girlfriend for years on end?
missing a year of school was definitely a mistake but not because of the relationship - putting your life on hold for just a chance with someone is a bad idea.
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
and "get some real girls"? do you think someone can seriously fake a rich personality?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42586843]i really can't stand this attitude. i know countless couples who met online through something besides a dating site and are happily together. 20% of committed relationships start online. and you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here, you don't know if they've seen photos of each other, talked over webcam etc or not. and he said they were like this for years - how many people do you think would keep up a charade of being some guy's internet girlfriend for years on end?
missing a year of school was definitely a mistake but not because of the relationship - putting your life on hold for just a chance with someone is a bad idea.
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
and "get some real girls"? do you think someone can seriously fake a rich personality?[/QUOTE]
Yes people can, its happened to a friend of mine people can fabricate an alter ego pretty well.
Also sure people can start relationships online but 4 years without even meeting the person is just silly.
[QUOTE=Omniskull;42586989]Yes people can, its happened to a friend of mine people can fabricate an alter ego pretty well.
Also sure people can start relationships online but 4 years without even meeting the person is just silly.[/QUOTE]
so do you think someone would pretend to be a girl who's interested in him for 4 years?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42587038]so do you think someone would pretend to be a girl who's interested in him for 4 years?[/QUOTE]
Would make one heck of a story
[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42585784]Yeah, turned 21 today! Gonna meet so many hot barflies![/QUOTE]
tell me if it's true that you turn into super mohawk saiyan if you drink beer
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42587038]so do you think someone would pretend to be a girl who's interested in him for 4 years?[/QUOTE]
hell, why not. brb in 4 years
Hey im seeing my first ''serious'' girlfriend next weekend and i promised week ago that when we will see again i'll come up with something fun to do. And the best part is that the family house is all mine to use.
We had our first kiss last time i saw her and had really great time but we really havent seen each other a lot since we can see only weekends, so we are both really shy and a little bit nervous when we see although we have spoken very openly in IM for a couple of months. So can you give any suggestions what to could we do and how to make her feel more relaxed when we see :)
I feel coldhearted.
[editline]20th October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Nastardo;42587436]Hey im seeing my first ''serious'' girlfriend next weekend and i promised week ago that when we will see again i'll come up with something fun to do. And the best part is that the family house is all mine to use.
We had our first kiss last time i saw her and had really great time but we really havent seen each other a lot since we can see only weekends, so we are both really shy and a little bit nervous when we see although we have spoken very openly in IM for a couple of months. So can you give any suggestions what to could we do and how to make her feel more relaxed when we see :)[/QUOTE]
Do something that you both like, example: watching a specyfic movie, do specyfic sport, play video games, read (or try to do impressions of it) books. Possibilites are endless.
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