• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[b]-solved-[/b] So I have a bit of an issue. The friendgroup I used to belong to is now consisting of 3 members, excluding me. 1. Another guy 2. His girlfriend, has [b]zero[/b] romantic interest in #3 whatsoever 3. A really nice guy, but borderline antisocial/awkward Over the past few weeks, I've branched out from my old friendgroup and have started talking and hanging out with other people. One group that I hang out with in particular has a specific interest. I'll get to that more in a second. Now, the group I came from is a bunch of antisocial gamers who don't really get out of the house, and I made the decision to branch out because I didn't want to be like them. I meet new people daily, and the time I spend talking with these people I meet is the highlight of my day. Every day. I literally love every second I spend meeting these new people. I look forward to it the most out of everything I do. Now here's the thing. One other member of my old friend-group have shown some interest in branching out and not hanging out with the same damn people every day. So I offered to introduce him to a few people, which I have no problem with. Here's where it gets tricky. The guy showing interest in branching out and meeting new people is guy #1 as seen above. He goes and has lunch with #2 and #3 on a daily basis, but is showing little interest in actually being there. Aka he's getting less and less interested in going to lunch every day. When I offered to invite him to lunch, I mainly intended to invite only him, because the group that I like to talk to gets easily over...intimidated by a number of new people, as well as the fact that I worry that #3 can make things extremely awkward for them and I don't really want to be associated with the levels of possible awkwardness. If #1 leaves the group, #2 will be left with #3, which is odd because #2 is #1's girlfriend. Now, let's assume #2 is ok with #1 leaving to go branch out and meet different people, to add more variety to his day. #3 would have a tendency to join him and be generally awkward around all of the people #1 would be meeting, which would also be the group that I enjoy being with. Of course, I don't want this to happen as it's basically a trainwreck waiting to happen. #3 obviously shouldn't be following #1 around, and #1 has no viable way of not going to lunch with him without raising concern. Is there a way to remove this #3rd leg, so to speak? I want #3 to branch out on his/her own instead of being overly attached to one person. He is really quite lonely, and need to man the fuck up and go talk to people, but I don't want to really be associated with him... I'm sure this is somewhat mean, but it's how I feel and I've talked to #1 extensively about how we will handle this and have had no idea about how to approach it. Help! Happy to supply more details, sorry if I didn't explain enough!
[QUOTE=A Shitposter;42604022]awkward friend stuff[/QUOTE] can you hang out with the other group at a separate time? [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] and what's the "specific interest" you mentioned?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42604108]can you hang out with the other group at a separate time? [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] and what's the "specific interest" you mentioned?[/QUOTE] You mean #1. The group I intended to take #1 to lunch with is only there at a specific time. I worry that he's going to bring uninvited guests with him to lunch, that's the big problem.
Well I definitely know that it's not good to rely on one person to be your friend. They need to make new friends and also be able to spend some time alone when needed.
He doesn't want to bring the uninvited guests, but they come like a 3rd wheel in a sense. [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] And yes, we want to have this person branch out, but don't want him to tag along. [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42604108]can you hang out with the other group at a separate time? [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] and what's the "specific interest" you mentioned?[/QUOTE] The specific interest I mentioned is basically a group of people who really aren't apt to having a bunch of people they don't know around. Uninvited, that is. I don't really want to invite this person simply because he can be awkward...etc. Don't want to be associated with that seeing as how I'm trying to branch out myself.
okay, well what i'm saying is can you ("you" meaning collectively you and person #1) hang out with your new group at a time that doesn't conflict with the other group? [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] like if you want friend #3 to not tag along then your chances are better if you aren't abandoning him and the girlfriend in an awkward situation while you're off hanging out with other people
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42604227]okay, well what i'm saying is can you ("you" meaning collectively you and person #1) hang out with your new group at a time that doesn't conflict with the other group? [editline]21st October 2013[/editline] like if you want friend #3 to not tag along then your chances are better if you aren't abandoning him and the girlfriend in an awkward situation while you're off hanging out with other people[/QUOTE] Right. The thing is that we can't do it because it will conflict, but you did give me a good idea of what to do. I really do appreciate the help, guys! Thank you so much!
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42591856]aside from meeting the person i'm going to spend the rest of my life with in a video game, i have a few incredibly close friends i only know online. just because we don't happen to live near each other doesn't discredit the fact that they're closer friends than anyone i know in person.[/QUOTE] I have close friends online as well, but I woulnt be incredibly distraught if I lost contact with them because hey, its the internet and people's life circumstances changes and I've had real life friends I've lost contact with too. Im not discrediting online friends im really just saying that that guy shouldnt be so upset
From what you guys say about Maverick, I do understand him. You have so many people whining about things that he perceives as trivial. Then he kind of gets fed up and just blasts. It happens to me sometimes too, not to say Im a dating expert but Im definitely not an awkward nervous guy. At those times I just don't post though.
The guy didn't have an inch on sprocket shit.
I think sometimes people need a bit of a shock like that to make them realise what they're doing, though I also think maverick was very eager to deliver that shock and maybe that's not a good thing all the time [editline]23rd October 2013[/editline] and yeah nothing on sprocket shit
Sprocketshit was such a fucking prick, he had no real advice whatsoever. He only bragged about everything he did and thought that he was like the most intellectual and handsome guy ever. He was a complete asshole in every way. He had no redeeming quality whatsoever. At least Maverick has a point, Sprocket didn't contribute at all.
Even if Maverick had a point, there's no need to be a dick about it. That's what assholes do. There's no need to get upset over what people post on a forum. If you can give advice, give advice, and leave the unnecessary criticism and hurtful comments out of it.
What the fuck is wrong with me? So that girl I like, we have greeted each other during the arts, and after that when we and other friends went to ASDA, she was passing by once and was smiling to me and now I can't stop thinking about that and asking myself like a paranoid if it was because she generally smiles to everyone(maybe, I don't know) or is it because of me? D:
[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;42603286]Maybe it's just a personal thing, but for a first date I want to get to know somebody one-on-one. Plus, another personal thing, I'm afraid I won't be able to break out of my shell in a group where I don't REALLY know a single person.[/QUOTE] Just go out and have fun with them. Both of you will be more comfortable around each other, and you can get to know how they act. [QUOTE=RocketRacer;42608155]What the fuck is wrong with me? So that girl I like, we have greeted each other during the arts, and after that when we and other friends went to ASDA, she was passing by once and was smiling to me and now I can't stop thinking about that and asking myself like a paranoid if it was because she generally smiles to everyone(maybe, I don't know) or is it because of me? D:[/QUOTE] In my experience, people usually give a passing smile to friends or people they know.
[QUOTE=Rubs10;42608641] In my experience, people usually give a passing smile to friends or people they know.[/QUOTE] Ah it might be just me then, because in Latvia noone will ever give you a smile unless you say something funny or something similar. Here, everybody smiles me(specially girls) any time I greet them. [editline]22nd October 2013[/editline] That damn more friendly community. :v:
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;42608155]What the fuck is wrong with me? So that girl I like, we have greeted each other during the arts, and after that when we and other friends went to ASDA, she was passing by once and was smiling to me and now I can't stop thinking about that and asking myself like a paranoid if it was because she generally smiles to everyone(maybe, I don't know) or is it because of me? D:[/QUOTE] You should stop worrying about it so much, a smile here and there doesn't probably mean more than she considers you a friend.
Smiles are nice. While they can be robotic and just a formality, they also are that slip of real humanity that comes out now and then.
Well I did manage to talk to a girl in my class today. And this time I went in not expecting to be able to make a good connection right off the bat so I don't feel like I failed.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42611337]Well I did manage to talk to a girl in my class today. And this time I went in not expecting to be able to make a good connection right off the bat so I don't feel like I failed.[/QUOTE] I'm glad, legitimately. You should manage your expectations realistically. But you shouldn't see interactions in pass/fail outcomes - its always just about learning~
Hey guys I was wondering if you could help me with this problem? Ok, so I met this girl about two months ago we both fell in love. Then the last two weeks of September it kinda went downhill. The thing is that she left me, and I still love her so I was trying to get her to hang out with me (Trying to just be friends and shit so I could at least talk to her). But she always had some kind of excuse. Now I made some mistakes with her and I admit to her that I fucked up but I never had any ill-will, I never hurt her, said she ugly, or anything like that I tried to be the nicest guy I could. But she now thinks I'm an asshole, thinks I harassed her (She said I texted her 57 times in one day counted on my phone only 37 and each one of those had a reply back), And now wont talk to me, and doges me. Its been three weeks or two and she was kinda of my first, and I just can't get her out of my head. I'm good when I'm at school, or doing an odd job during the day, but when I'm by myself playing games or just relaxing my thoughts keep going back to her. Its driving me insane. So do you guys know of any way to get a girl out of your head or some way I could get her to talk to me again? And I want to thank you guys 1. for this thread 2. for helping me if you can
[QUOTE=Jacob_sword;42612054]She said I texted her 57 times in one day counted on my phone only 37 and each one of those had a reply back[/QUOTE] I wouldn't ever dream of texting anyone that many times in one day. Even 37 seems way too steep to me - for anyone.
it depends on the texts~ like most smartphones its pretty much like IM. and you can easily IM someone 30-50 times in a day.
[QUOTE=NoDachi;42611365]I'm glad, legitimately. You should manage your expectations realistically. But you shouldn't see interactions in pass/fail outcomes - its always just about learning~[/QUOTE] I feel like I did learn something. I learned that when you don't expect anything it's a lot easier to talk to girls.
Yeah got a smartphone and that's what I tired telling her.
Even if it was just a shitty two minute conversation about a test.
[QUOTE=NoDachi;42612269]it depends on the texts~ like most smartphones its pretty much like IM. and you can easily IM someone 30-50 times in a day.[/QUOTE] I don't know. I was just talking of my own experiences. Still... Even then, it seems very steep to me. Especially if the girl seems put off by that much contact. [editline]23rd October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Jacob_sword;42612330] that's what I tired telling her.[/QUOTE] There's your problem there. If she doesn't want to be contacted that much, don't try and justify it just because you have a smartphone.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42612328]I feel like I did learn something. I learned that when you don't expect anything it's a lot easier to talk to girls.[/QUOTE] Good for you man. You made progress. [img]http://www.hertschildrenscentres.org.uk/strawberryfields/images/gold-star.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Jacob_sword;42612054]Hey guys I was wondering if you could help me with this problem? Ok, so I met this girl about two months ago we both fell in love. Then the last two weeks of September it kinda went downhill. The thing is that she left me, and I still love her so I was trying to get her to hang out with me (Trying to just be friends and shit so I could at least talk to her). But she always had some kind of excuse. Now I made some mistakes with her and I admit to her that I fucked up but I never had any ill-will, I never hurt her, said she ugly, or anything like that I tried to be the nicest guy I could. But she now thinks I'm an asshole, thinks I harassed her (She said I texted her 57 times in one day counted on my phone only 37 and each one of those had a reply back), And now wont talk to me, and doges me. Its been three weeks or two and she was kinda of my first, and I just can't get her out of my head. I'm good when I'm at school, or doing an odd job during the day, but when I'm by myself playing games or just relaxing my thoughts keep going back to her. Its driving me insane. So do you guys know of any way to get a girl out of your head or some way I could get her to talk to me again? And I want to thank you guys 1. for this thread 2. for helping me if you can[/QUOTE] Just calm down a bit and take some distance, which is easier done than said. Don't force any sort of contact with her when she clearly doesn't want to see you in any way. There isn't much that you can do now. Perhaps some distance might ease the situation, if you start being obnoxious about it she will only counter-react to you and thus making it worse. Try to keep yourself occupied and don't think much about it, the worst thing is when you don't do anything and you constantly remind yourself about her. Go out with friends, do sports or just play some video games. Time will heal all wounds.
[QUOTE=junker154;42612450]Just calm down a bit and take some distance, which is easier done than said. Don't force any sort of contact with her when she clearly doesn't want to see you in any way. There isn't much that you can do now. Perhaps some distance might ease the situation, if you start being obnoxious about it she will only counter-react to you and thus making it worse. Try to keep yourself occupied and don't think much about it, the worst thing is when you don't do anything and you constantly remind yourself about her. Go out with friends, do sports or just play some video games. Time will heal all wounds.[/QUOTE] This is better advice than my shitty post.
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