• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
If you are totally sure that you will see her again then ask in person, it's much better and you will look far more confident.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;42633930]On the subject of drinks.[/QUOTE] Nothing to do with relationships, but thought it was absolutely hilarious and creepy. I was about 7 shots and 5 beers in before my friends and I decided to hit up a local hookah lounge. We sit at the bar, one of my friends orders me an Irish Car Bomb and I order myself a 20oz PBR and try a few beer samples (by the way, try Southern Tier Pumpking, it's delicious). So needless to say I'm just absolutely gone. We're sitting there and there's this guy sitting next to me who's hair has too much pomade in it and his skin's a little to soft and he basically reeks of flaming homosexual in his 30's. He introduces himself and he's like "Hay buddy, I'm Joe." I shake his hand, just trying to be nice. He's like "So, do you like to dance?" I of course reply saying something along the lines of, "Nope. Not at all" (I knew at this point what his intentions were). He kept asking what we were smoking and was insistent on me trying his hookah. So just to get him to shut up I took a puff and it was alright and he was like, "This stuff is the best, it's called 'Christmas.'" and I was like, "Yeah, it's pretty good." Then he goes off listing what all is in it and crap, like some expensive alcohol base and whatever kind of shisha. Anyways, he tries to look cool by talking to the bartender and some of the girls that work there to make it seem like he's a regular and a cool guy - maybe he was, but he kept coming on to me. He's like, "Have you ever had a $50 shot?" and I go, "Nope, don't plan to any time soon either." I try to focus on my buddies and stuff and turn away so he'll leave me alone and my friend's like, "Dude, Joe keeps staring at you." Hahah, dear lord. He's like, "I drop $1200 a night on drinks." I'm thinking to myself, like cool? What does that accomplish? He just kept staring. My friend had to go and I start standing up to go outside with him and he's like, "Hay buddy, do you need a ride? I can drive you home if ya like." I just walk out and leave his creepy ass in there. It was hilarious. I also felt kind of violated hahaha. There are some weird damn people in this world. Now I know how chicks must feel when they're being hit on by guys at bars that are obviously trying to get them to go home with them. Only it was a gay guy, and I'm by no means gay, not even if I took one of Joe's $50 shots. It was probably gonna be a $5 shot with $45 of Roofies in it anyways. Just thought I'd share this awkward experience.
I've posted here before but it's usually during some deep depression or whatever so I can't quite remember anything that was said to me or what I said, but I'm in a better state of mind now so I might as well ask for help again. I'm 21, in college, and I've never been in a relationship. Not even a kiss. I've got a group of friends I hang out with, some friends are girls but they have boyfriends. My friends are all metal heads and stoners, while I don't listen to metal and don't even drink alcohol, let alone smoke. They've taken me to parties, but I thoroughly don't enjoy them. I can't drink due to medication, so that's out of the question, everyone is blitzed, loud music so you can't hear shit, and it takes me a while to warm up to people so small talk is hard for me. Thus, parties suck, for me at least. I'm introverted, so I enjoy solitary activities or just doing stuff with a small group, and social gatherings exhaust me physically. I'm friends with these guys/girls because for some reason they're the most understanding and chill people on campus, and they're not like the tons of preppy spoiled rich kids here since being someone of lower middle class like myself in such a rich school makes it hard to relate with most of those people (oh, why don't you go to expensive restaurants with us, go on a trip overseas, just have your parents pay for it, etc.). Anyways, I just never really talk unless I know people, so I'm usually the quiet guy in class who occasionally says something insightful or funny, but not often, and thus I don't really get noticed. It's hard for me to just walk up to some random person and start talking, because all these thoughts run through my head about what could happen, what they'd think of me, etc. and I get really anxious, especially since I suck with small talk with people I don't know. What I'm getting at is that I'm lonely as fuck. I get super jealous of my friends who have girlfriends yet treat them like shit. But something happened that's really got me fizzled. One of my friends, who happens to be female, "broke up" last night with her boyfriend, a so-so friend of mine. The thing is, something happened between us beforehand. I had a huge depressive episode a while back, and while I was basically a teary eyed mess, she literally grabbed me, held me, told me how great I was and handsome and that she had a crush on me at one point and mentioned that she still kind of had one, but I was in no real state of mind to say anything at that point other than to thank her, which was fucktarded. Anyways, when I went to bed she said how much everyone loves me and that she loved me, which at that point I couldn't tell if that was a friends kind of love or something more than that kind of love, and she kissed me on the head. So, that kind of fucked up my perception. I don't know if I like her or not. I really like that she's a good friend, but now I have no clue what's going on between her and her boyfriend. He treats her badly IMO, he's very controlling (i.e. you shouldn't eat this cause you'll gain weight, do this don't wear this type of stuff, when she ran off after she "broke up" with him he wouldn't stop following her and public safety got called and my friends had to pry him away from her) and she's told me about this stuff. When I was really depressed whenever she mentioned him she'd say her "stupid, asshole boyfriend" and mention his anger issues. I just don't know if she'll tell me whether she likes me or not, and if she does what to say. I've never been in love before, I don't know what I'm supposed to feel, but I do know that I'm lonely and really want to be in a relationship. I want to be her friend, I don't know if I want more than that. Her boyfriend is my roommate at college, so if I did end up with her there'd be a lot of tension. I'm just really lonely and any kind of female attention is a blessing. She's got some health issues, but she's really nice. Regardless of this current situation, I still want to meet somebody, but I've exhausted my current "friend through a friend" type of deal. Basically, none of my friends know any single women. It's fucked up, because my school is like 70% women. There's plenty of really attractive girls on campus, but I'm never able to talk to any since I get anxious, and I get super paranoid that women are staring at me (maybe they are?). I've been told I'm an attractive guy from multiple people now, all friends and family plus the occasional stranger who doesn't know I'm there, so there's that, but I don't feel attractive. tl;dr I'm lonely, some girl might like me but her boyfriend is my roommate, I'm introverted. -edit- Whelp she's back with the boyfriend today so crisis averted?
[QUOTE=Omniskull;42637948]I remember a girl said something along the lines of that when I asked why I didnt get a party invite when I was like 15, it was more "I didnt think you do stuff like that" but I told her I definetly would be keen and went along got drunk and had a blast. Got invited to every big party after that, just be upfront and tell people rather than being complacent, being complacent gets you absolutely nowhere my friend.[/QUOTE] When I was 15 a girl invited me to a party and I just straight up said no. RIP social life for the rest of high school.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42643627]When I was 15 a girl invited me to a party and I just straight up said no. RIP social life for the rest of high school.[/QUOTE] Yes taeopodon, your entire social life came crashing down by not attending that one party. Get over yourself.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42643627]When I was 15 a girl invited me to a party and I just straight up said no.[/QUOTE] why
[QUOTE=Slowbro;42644011]why[/QUOTE] Edgy 15 year old who thought I was too good for that. If I could go back in time and meet my 15 year old self I would kick his ass for that.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42645100]Edgy 15 year old who thought I was too good for that. If I could go back in time and meet my 15 year old self I would kick his ass for that.[/QUOTE] I bet in 5 years you'll say the same about how you are now. Please don't take this as a excuse to make another self pitying "oh I know I'm bad at life" post.
[QUOTE=junker154;42642505]If you are totally sure that you will see her again then ask in person, it's much better and you will look far more confident.[/QUOTE] Of course, I was just thinking it might be nice to see her during the half term
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42645100]Edgy 15 year old who thought I was too good for that. If I could go back in time and meet my 15 year old self I would kick his ass for that.[/QUOTE] You're still an edgy~ tryhard now
[QUOTE=NoDachi;42645936]You're still an edgy~ tryhard now[/QUOTE] Believe me, when I was 15 I was literally the stereotype of an angsty teen who only listens to Linkin Park and Disturbed.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42646089]Believe me, when I was 15 I was literally the stereotype of an angsty teen who only listens to Linkin Park and Disturbed.[/QUOTE] So were many teenagers
i listened to sonic youth my angst and contempt for everyone meant that i wouldnt be caught dead with pleb music like linkin park and disturbed
So, all my friends have either gone home for the weekend or are busy, and I have no clue what to do. I don't like staying inside and playing games all day anymore, so I definitely don't want to do that, and I can only skateboard alone so much before it gets boring and too cold. There is a halloween party going on tonight at a fraternity house, but 1) I don't have a costume to wear, 2) I don't want to be associated with frat guys, 3) I don't know anyone that's going to be there, so I'll feel really awkward and out of place, and 4) I don't typically like large social events where I don't know anyone. I'm thinking about going only because I have nothing else to do, but I really don't want to.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;42647159]how is that any different than how you are now[/QUOTE] I don't listen to Linkin Park or Disturbed now. I don't get how extreme social awkwardness = edgy though.
i still listen to linkin park [editline]26th October 2013[/editline] they still have some good songs
Is it ok to get a girl's skype (I know her, she's my "friend") with another friend? or is it creepy? I'm just over analyzing it, right?
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;42647827]Is it ok to get a girl's skype (I know her, she's my "friend") with another friend? or is it creepy? I'm just over analyzing it, right?[/QUOTE] it's just like facebook basically. people generally just accept requests from people they don't really know.
[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;42647908]it's just like facebook basically. people generally just accept requests from people they don't really know.[/QUOTE] Plus i created my skype like 4 hours ago to play with some friends.
The only thing I would find creepy is you getting her phone number from someone else.
I have had a crush on someone for a while now. I have just gotten out of a relationship that did not end well at all. I am still broken from it but I'm not going to jump into another person's arms obviously, because I need a break, a long one for now. Anyway, my crush is a friend of mine and we have gotten back in contact after years. He has supported me and I have supported him. I give him money sometimes because he needs it more than I need it and I get more than enough anyway. Just doing my bit to help, and he's been really touched by it. We are both nice to each other, give each other the occasional bit of advice, and he has been there for me and vice versa. I always can't wait until we talk and I think of him every day, and wondering how he's doing. He always makes me feel happy whether I'm with him or thinking of him. He is my motivation to be and keep strong. He was the first person to make me laugh until my face hurt this year a few months ago. I want to tell him how I feel about him as I've had a crush on him for a long time. But fear is keeping me back as usual. I can't tell him because I'm afraid of how he might react. I have a feeling he doesn't feel the same way. That and I don't want to be hurt again for a long while. I've been through more than enough s*** over the past few years. I have never asked anyone out before and my past relationships had asked me out. Any ideas, tips and/or suggestions as to what I could do? Thanks.
Don't just plain out tell him you have feelings for him; actively show it. Ask him out to dinner, thank him for having a wonderful time, that sort of thing. Kiss him on the door step if you get the right feel. These are some of the things you do to show someone you are interested in them, and chances are that if they want to go out to dinner/movie/show/live music/anything with you then they're interested in you! Give it a try, it'll work a thousand times better than just outright saying "HEY I THINK ABOUT YOU REGULARLY". It means you don't have to work your way up to telling him, and it means he can tell you in his own way. Ie. The point of a date. Give it a try!
[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42642553]Nothing to do with relationships, but thought it was absolutely hilarious and creepy. I was about 7 shots and 5 beers in before my friends and I decided to hit up a local hookah lounge. We sit at the bar, one of my friends orders me an Irish Car Bomb and I order myself a 20oz PBR and try a few beer samples (by the way, try Southern Tier Pumpking, it's delicious). So needless to say I'm just absolutely gone. We're sitting there and there's this guy sitting next to me who's hair has too much pomade in it and his skin's a little to soft and he basically reeks of flaming homosexual in his 30's. He introduces himself and he's like "Hay buddy, I'm Joe." I shake his hand, just trying to be nice. He's like "So, do you like to dance?" I of course reply saying something along the lines of, "Nope. Not at all" (I knew at this point what his intentions were). He kept asking what we were smoking and was insistent on me trying his hookah. So just to get him to shut up I took a puff and it was alright and he was like, "This stuff is the best, it's called 'Christmas.'" and I was like, "Yeah, it's pretty good." Then he goes off listing what all is in it and crap, like some expensive alcohol base and whatever kind of shisha. Anyways, he tries to look cool by talking to the bartender and some of the girls that work there to make it seem like he's a regular and a cool guy - maybe he was, but he kept coming on to me. He's like, "Have you ever had a $50 shot?" and I go, "Nope, don't plan to any time soon either." I try to focus on my buddies and stuff and turn away so he'll leave me alone and my friend's like, "Dude, Joe keeps staring at you." Hahah, dear lord. He's like, "I drop $1200 a night on drinks." I'm thinking to myself, like cool? What does that accomplish? He just kept staring. My friend had to go and I start standing up to go outside with him and he's like, "Hay buddy, do you need a ride? I can drive you home if ya like." I just walk out and leave his creepy ass in there. It was hilarious. I also felt kind of violated hahaha. There are some weird damn people in this world. Now I know how chicks must feel when they're being hit on by guys at bars that are obviously trying to get them to go home with them. Only it was a gay guy, and I'm by no means gay, not even if I took one of Joe's $50 shots. It was probably gonna be a $5 shot with $45 of Roofies in it anyways. Just thought I'd share this awkward experience.[/QUOTE] You could have blown him off a bit more politely.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42647470]I don't listen to Linkin Park or Disturbed now. I don't get how extreme social awkwardness = edgy though.[/QUOTE] Seriously stop bringing how awkward you are up it just annoys everyone bloody do something about it and report back in a couple of months once you actually make a concerted effort to change your mindset instead of constantly reiterating the same points over and over Furthermore if you successfully talk to a girl you shouldn't need our praise the reward should come from within yourself
[QUOTE=Novangel;42649062]You could have blown him off a bit more politely.[/QUOTE] I did when it actually happened. I wasn't like rude to him when I said anything, I just tried to keep conversation to a minimum. He was just freaking me out.
[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;42634898]"I would invite you but I know you'd rather stay on your own playing video games" - oh.. okay then.[/QUOTE] Watch out, people are [I]really[/I] judgmental if you even once decline to go out. This guy and his buddies always invited me to go out and I usually would, then one night after a day with two exams and a three-hour workout, I was just too tired and told him I'd prefer to stay in. And that is how I got the reputation of "guy who hates parties". It really just depends on the people, though. The majority of people are reasonable. If you're a freshman in college (like me) then everyone's gonna be enamored with the party scene for the first few months and wanna go out 24/7. Once second semester rolls around, everyone mellows out bigtime. idk if you're asking for advice but the best thing to do, imo, is just find people who don't focus their entire social life on going out and getting fucked up absolutely every night. The best kind of friends are the ones who understand the value of a night out AND a night in.
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42653105]Watch out, people are [I]really[/I] judgmental if you even once decline to go out. This guy and his buddies always invited me to go out and I usually would, then one night after a day with two exams and a three-hour workout, I was just too tired and told him I'd prefer to stay in. And that is how I got the reputation of "guy who hates parties". It really just depends on the people, though. The majority of people are reasonable. If you're a freshman in college (like me) then everyone's gonna be enamored with the party scene for the first few months and wanna go out 24/7. Once second semester rolls around, everyone mellows out bigtime. idk if you're asking for advice but the best thing to do, imo, is just find people who don't focus their entire social life on going out and getting fucked up absolutely every night. The best kind of friends are the ones who understand the value of a night out AND a night in.[/QUOTE] I find it's really important to emphasize when you cancel because you are too tired/sick/busy/whatever that you really want to go next time, and what you are feeling right now is just a one time thing.
[QUOTE=loopoo;42620902]Tbh I've got constant internet on my Galaxy S4, plus about a bajillion text messages. If I'm out, I'll most of the time reply real quick. If I'm at home, my phone is sometimes on silent from the morning or whatever and it'll take like an hour for me to realize I've gotten a message. [b]Technology nowadays, there's literally no reason for anyone not to reply in like a minute flat, unless they're not really interested in you / can't be bothered talking to you.[/b] [editline]23rd October 2013[/editline] But thank god I've never been the "Hello, are you there? Helloooo?" type. I sometimes get text diarrhea though.[/QUOTE] everyone's different but that's just gonna make people paranoid. If you're texting the girl/guy you like and s/he doesn't respond instantly it's not because s/he's "not really interested in you / can't be bothered talking to you", they're probably busy I mean I don't answer texts: in class (i wanna pay attention and learn the material), when I need to cut out distractions (eg im working on a paper), when i'm working out and don't have my phone, when I'm already having a face-to-face conversation with people, when i'm playing vidya or watching a movie, when i'm practicing guitar not everyone is glued to their phone and it's nbd if they don't respond in a minute flat
I'm usually slow to respond to texts now, I just leave my phone on silent and respond quickly when necessary.
I don't have a cellphone but even when I'm on the computer I usually end up leaving people hanging on IMs for like hours simply because I'm busy doing other shit that requires my full concentration and attention or I'm playing guitar and I don't want to break my concentration just to reply to someone and have to get back into the flow.
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