Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Emugod]

How do you guys deal with asshole friends who take jokes way too far? It's getting to the point that it's like elementary school, being called names and made fun of. I usually laugh it off, but it still pisses me off.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717022]How do you guys deal with asshole friends who take jokes way too far? It's getting to the point that it's like elementary school, being called names and made fun of. I usually laugh it off, but it still pisses me off.[/QUOTE]

You don't laugh it off and tell them its not ok. If you never let them know how are they supposed to know your not ok with it?

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;42717205]You don't laugh it off and tell them its not ok. If you never let them know how are they supposed to know your not ok with it?[/QUOTE]

I do tell them that it pisses me off, but they don't care. They do it anyway. My friends are another level of asshole.

I try to laugh it off, I try to make it seem like I don't care, I try to tell them to fuck off, and nothing works. I get the same jokes or other jokes thrown at me. I just can't win.

[Dysentery]

they don't sound like very good friends tbh

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717326]I do tell them that it pisses me off, but they don't care. They do it anyway. My friends are another level of asshole.

I try to laugh it off, I try to make it seem like I don't care, I try to tell them to fuck off, and nothing works. I get the same jokes or other jokes thrown at me. I just can't win.[/QUOTE]

They aren't your friends then. If it bothers you that much, sit them down and let them know that they need to knock their shit off. If not, then find new friends. It sucks, but you're not going to get anywhere with them treating you like that.

Either that, or grow thicker skin. I used to get bothered a lot by some things I thought were a big deal but are pretty minor. I try not to let jabs at my expense bother me, but I also don't let them fly when they're out of line. Finding that boundary is key.

[Doomevil]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717326]I do tell them that it pisses me off, but they don't care. They do it anyway. My friends are another level of asshole.

I try to laugh it off, I try to make it seem like I don't care, I try to tell them to fuck off, and nothing works. I get the same jokes or other jokes thrown at me. I just can't win.[/QUOTE]

Then ignore them as hard as you can, don't join with them anymore if they're going to be dicks. I had a friend last year who is just like yours, don't bother talking to them man, it's not worth it.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717326]I do tell them that it pisses me off, but they don't care. They do it anyway. My friends are another level of asshole.

I try to laugh it off, I try to make it seem like I don't care, I try to tell them to fuck off, and nothing works. I get the same jokes or other jokes thrown at me. I just can't win.[/QUOTE]

Again, making it seem like you dont care isnt' working in your favor. If you dont like it and dont want them to do it then why let them get away with it and laugh it off? That just makes it seem ok.

Tell them to stop it, dont laugh it off. If they keep it up then find other friends dude.

[Emugod]

They're practically the only friends I can really relate to, though. I have more in common with them than any of my other friends. I've been trying to make new friends, but it's hard finding any good friends. I usually find friends that I don't have much in common with, or that are complete assholes.

[ForDaNords]

So someone told me that one of my friends has a crush on me and she's going to confess by next week. She's suicidal and heavily depressed, so how can I let her know I don't share her feelings without hurting her?

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=ForDaNords;42717539]So someone told me that one of my friends has a crush on me and she's going to confess by next week. She's suicidal and heavily depressed, so how can I let her know I don't share her feelings without hurting her?[/QUOTE]

How close are you two?

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=ForDaNords;42717539]So someone told me that one of my friends has a crush on me and she's going to confess by next week. She's suicidal and heavily depressed, so how can I let her know I don't share her feelings without hurting her?[/QUOTE]

Wait for her to do it and then let her down as gently as possible.

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42717593]Wait for her to do it and then let her down as gently as possible.[/QUOTE]

This, but make sure that you or her friends know exactly where she is at all times.

[ForDaNords]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717577]How close are you two?[/QUOTE]
We've hung outside of school several times. She's actually lives right next to me, so I see her all the time.

[G3rman]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42717456]They're practically the only friends I can really relate to, though. I have more in common with them than any of my other friends. I've been trying to make new friends, but it's hard finding any good friends. I usually find friends that I don't have much in common with, or that are complete assholes.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are mincing "friend" with "acquaintance". Friend shouldn't be a buzz word that you call a person that you see and talk to; it goes past that.

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=G3rman;42717665]Sounds like you are mincing "friend" with "acquaintance". Friend shouldn't be a buzz word that you call a person that you see and talk to; it goes past that.[/QUOTE]

Well, they're a bit of both. I see and talk to them everyday, and we nearly always hang out together.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=ForDaNords;42717661]We've hung outside of school several times. She's actually lives right next to me, so I see her all the time.[/QUOTE]

As long as she understands that even though you don't think of her in a romantic way the two of you are still friends. But bear in mind that if she is suicidal she'll be upset and you'd do well to keep an eye on her.

[ForDaNords]

Thanks for the advice!

[Emugod]

So, I found out that the girl that ditched me twice has been doing the same to several other guys as well. I don't know what to think about this. She's either flirty with a lot of guys, or she's just really, really friendly and guys are misinterpreting it (me being one of those guys). I'm going to assume the second one. She hugged me a second time today for like 5 seconds and says that she "really wants to make me her friend" or something like that. This damn girl. I can't get her and I can't get away from her. What the fuck do I do?

[Aries]

Deal with someone wanting to be your friend?

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=Aries;42718078]Deal with someone wanting to be your friend?[/QUOTE]

I'd like to, but every time I see her, I keep thinking to myself that I'm never going to get her, and it ends up making me feel really depressed.

I would find someone else, but there's no other girl at my university that I'd like to be with. And, I don't have the time or the car to go out and find girls.

[G3rman]

That's your problem you have to deal with though, is removing her from thought as a girlfriend. Focus on improving yourself and your other social circles before pursuing a relationship.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42718453]I'd like to, but every time I see her, I keep thinking to myself that I'm never going to get her, and it ends up making me feel really depressed.

I would find someone else, but there's no other girl at my university that I'd like to be with. And, I don't have the time or the car to go out and find girls.[/QUOTE]

Both are copout excuses

you don't want to go out with any other girl at your university because you're too hung up on her, so of course you WOULD find someone else if it wasn't for that

the other one is also a bit silly do you think girls just magically appear if you happen to be available and in a car at any given time, their are plenty of opportunities to meet girls

[Juice_Layer]

Holy shit just had a blast going to a club for the first time. It wasn't a douchy club though, it was really fun though. Went and met some girls and we danced and they actually complimented my dance moves I was just going ham while everyone else was like standing in the corners. It was a blast. So glad I went. Unfortunately the girl that I was really into had a boyfriend but damn was she beautiful and my type. Also danced with freaking cat woman. She was on fire. So much fun. I encourage you all to go dancing maybe have a few drinks and just drop your insecurities. Best choice ever.

[chinatown]

Most def. Party rock!

[editline]1st November 2013[/editline]

What a night for me. I went out with 2 friends after class, we headed out for dinner because our class ended at 8pm. So one is a guy and the other one is a girl. Weve known each other for 1 year, and nothing has happened between me and the girl. We talk about relationships and whatever, but this time I was kind of drunk, she as well, and I asked her why we werent together. Shes inexperienced in this kind of stuff, and she said she didnt want too much time together, which is good because I didnt want either. Fast forward a couple of beers and were heading to my apartment together, I suddenly start making out with her, we get freaky but not too far, then we try to get to sleep but she cant, so she wakes me up at 6am saying shes going home. And thats how Im here now typing this. I dont know what I got myself into.

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42718453]I'd like to, but every time I see her, I keep thinking to myself that I'm never going to get her, and it ends up making me feel really depressed.

I would find someone else, but there's no other girl at my university that I'd like to be with. And, I don't have the time or the car to go out and find girls.[/QUOTE]

My friend, focusing that much of your energy and thoughts on one person is just going to make it harder. If she's a cool person to hang out with, be her friend. If not, don't. Just don't make the common mistake of getting too close. As I've said before, I'm still sorting out my similar issues by making those mistakes.

Sometimes I wish I was blind, so I'd meet someone and judge their character and not justify their downsides with "oh they're hot and also this and that" which don't amount to much.

[Guy Mannly]

i played wow and had some wine
really exciting night!

[thisispain]

i watched cakefarts on skype

[Rhenae]

So its the middle of the night and I can't sleep. And by middle of the night I mean early morning. I have to be up in 2 hours so at this point i've resolved to just stay up since it will just make me feel worse to get so little sleep (and run the risk of my alarm not waking me up again :v:)

So I figured I'd take the opportunity to write up a post about something i've wanted to for a while, but its usually in the middle of the night and I never do. It's partially just me wondering who else does this, how common is it, and how much of a weirdo am I really. I dunno. Theres a lot of things everyone does but pretends they dont because they dont know if anyone else does, makes it impossible to judge. On a quick google there is a few talks of other people sympathizing "oh yeah I do that too" but theres a lot of details I dont find coincide with my own experiences.

Essentially I talk to myself. To an extreme. It might be more accurate to say generally that I LARP by my self. Something I've done since I was a kid and just never stopped doing. Make up characters, back stories, other characters to interact with. etc. Then think out and usually act out scenarios with them. I Perform a lot of the actions, including mouthing any words I say (and occasionally slipping up and actually saying them). I do this a lot, mostly when I'm at home but I'll usually end up integrating it into everything else too, school, work etc.
The only reason I can say it is non-disruptive to those things is because I'm a problem solver, I always integrate what I need to be doing into the situation so I dont have to act differently, and use it as something to make boring tasks more interesting (I am a math genius saving the world, or was being visited at school by whomever while I needed to get work done, only way I did math ever in high school)

When im home alone I get to be a rocker (well am usually some form of famous and/or talented singer anyway but particularly then when I can blast music and not listen to myself singing because I am in fact incredibly tone deaf).

None of that is [I]too [/I]unusual from what I can tell based on google, I guess the weirder bits for me are in my character choice. Most people are them in their heads. I'm never me. Or almost never.
That and my characters are usually male. As in basically always male. Sometimes I'll take a female character but those ones are always short lived and always entirely revolved around being sexy for whatever reason :v:

If I look in the mirror its always a bit weird to me, since what I see doesnt really click to my brain as me exactly... even though I know it is. I just dont see myself looking like that at all in my head I guess.
and even though I am well aware what is fake and what is real my memories feel pretty well the same. Not really that fake stuff feels real but more all the real stuff feals like it could be equally fake and made up. Even though I know logically full well it isnt.

This pretending has worked very well in my favor over the years, helping my attention in class a ton, and when I spent a lot of time depressed I helped myself by imaginging a therapist to talk to and reason with. Worked maybe a little too well really :v: when I did eventually see a real therapist I know what they would say before they said it :v: Have fake conversations with people I know a lot. I have occasionally referred to those conversations and discovered they never happened. Awkward moments all around.

But yeah not really looking for advice, I "cope" just fine with being ever so little cray cray I guess :v: just wondering if anyone else is like this too or if im just nuts in an ok way :v:

edit:
Oh yeah its Halloween. Yeah I did nothing special.

[G3rman]

I used to commentate my own gameplay and made stories for both sides whenever I played Homeworld. I've stopped talking out loud to myself for the most part, but sometimes I do it if I am thinking really hard about something.

[thisispain]

jesus rhenae thats a lot of :V's

i do the exact same thing, i guess its just part of having an overactive imagination. a lot of our imaginative processes dont get fulfilled in our everyday lives so we try to fulfill them with fantasy. fantasy is a way to fill the gaps between our understanding of ourselves and of how we fit in compared to society.

for me creating characters is a way to figure out something. ill create a character in order to explore something in a safe context in my head. i can remember concepts using characters and ive always written like plays or stories and other lame shit like that directly from that.

i think part of it too is identity, its fun to explore identities and it becomes important when we try to figure out what we are in relation to the "other", and a lot of the characters in relation to myself are usually female which i guess is a way to explore gender in a safe context and escape the confines of what is masculine.

now im not a good goalpost on what is normal by any means, but so far i've found it to be a great thing in life. i can amuse myself no matter what, even if it means im super easily distracted.