Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[zenby]

I just talk through imaginary scenarios in my head, pretty much never out loud
And I talk to myself in text documents to work through problems

[chinatown]

Ill basically talk to myself similarly to whatever I watched last or so. Like, if I watch a show of Louis CK, Ill start thinking Im at some show and commenting on stuff I see around me. If I watch some Conan Obrien then I talk like Im in some interview. I think I should stop watching so much videos on youtube

[Jo The Shmo]

im pretty sure most people talk to themselves
but have you ever talked to a person who takes it too far? it's pretty apparent in the way they talk, they'll add pauses and emphasis and strange moments, almost as if they're reading off a script
its annoying

[Dysentery]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;42724257]idk just because you're over someone doesn't mean you like hearing that someone is over you[/QUOTE]

no i understand but gosh it's still weird

[zenby]

This girl just randomly messaged me again out of the blue, that definitely boosts my confidence in how this is going

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;42729033]no i understand but gosh it's still weird[/QUOTE]

its not really that weird

its an ego thing

[Mr. Bleak]

Do you guys ever play out really bad hypothetical situations in your head, even if they have a very low chance of happening, and then get irritated about it?

I was thinking about an encounter I had with one of my friends the other day and just played every possible "well, if he does that then I'll do this" sort of thing in my head. It's almost as if I demonize someone during an argument and expect everything to go super terribly because of it.

Sort of like my situation with this other person I'm going through some stuff with. I mean, I have a feeling that realistically two weeks or a bit will go by, we'll start hanging out more again, and everything will be fine. But the pessimist in me assumes that they're going to forget all about me with their new "bffs" and leave me on the shitty end of the stick.

[zenby]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;42729089]This girl just randomly messaged me again out of the blue, that definitely boosts my confidence in how this is going[/QUOTE]

welp she just asked me to hang out with her some time, guess i'll see where this goes

[Thelurker1234]

Does it mean anything if a chick looks away a lot while talking to you, not always, and she's not really staring at anything in particular

[SleepyAl]

So there's this big party going on in my apartment right now. Tons of booze, loud music, the usual.

And I'm locked away in my room, alone, lights off.

I just can't deal with parties anymore. Too much sound, too many people, it drains me. My friends feel bad that I don't want to go out there, but I just don't want to. Well, that's a bit of a lie, I'd want to go out there so I wouldn't be the weird guy who likes his quiet time more than getting wasted and dancing, but I never have fun at these things and I feel awkward because of that. It feels like everyone I meet just wants to party, and I can't find people like me who prefer not to.

How do I tell my friends that I'm, well, introverted, and that I don't like doing shit like parties? They always try to get me to go with them, and it's almost guilting me in a way because they "feel bad" that I'm "all alone in my room". I tell them I don't enjoy them, I'd rather not go but for some reason they can't comprehend that and always try to get me to go.

This is gonna sound fucked up but I think I need better friends, however my school is full of party-hard preppy people and the arts and sciences are left to class rather than discussion so I've not met a single person like me, or at the very least someone who shares something in common with me.

Augh, it feels like I'm stuck in a hole I can't get out of. I end up just spending time by myself since at the very least I can go online and discuss the stuff I like to talk about, even though most of the time I just lurk.

[Meller Yeller]

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;42658213]I do need advice on a different girl, though. We went out on two dates and everything was going great. I was... and still am super into her. But she was diagnosed with Lupus not long ago and when she ran into some money trouble a little over two weeks ago, she got really sick from the stress of it and has been in and out of the ER.

Around since when it happened, she's very unresponsive when I try to text and she won't take a call because her voice is gone at the moment. Every day I've just simply texted, you know "How are you feeling? Blah blah" and most of the time she doesn't even respond. She responded not long ago by calling me (sounding very sick) really apologetically saying that she just doesn't feel like texting and insisting she wants to see me again. (It's also been over two weeks now since we went out last)

What do I do in this situation? Do I just keep texting her that maybe once a day or so even with no response to the last? Should I do more than that? Should I just back off totally for a while? If I push the issue she just says "I'm not bothering her".
I want her to know that I'm thinking of her and didn't just bail. I don't think she's trying to cut me loose either because when I try to push the issue, she's very quick to say she wants to see me again.[/QUOTE]

This girl's driving me crazy. I think I need to break it off, and I think she's secretly trying to get me to.
If I ever text her to ask her anything about herself she will never respond, and if I say something interesting about my day, she'll just give me a several word response. She ignores my phone calls and then, all of the sudden, she says she doesn't like texting as a reason why she never responds me to me. That and being sick and drugged up all the time.
If I push the issue of why she seems so distant, she goes on about how "I came at a bad time" (because of her getting really sick) and "I'm not obligated to be noble and stick by her".

Please, by all means, help me if you can but I can only make two things out of this. Either A) She feels guilty that I'm having to wait for her and stress myself out over it or B) She's trying to nicely get rid of me by saying, multiple times, "you don't have to stick around for me".

I can't say it, but she either needs to tell me to fuck off or let me communicate with her. I'm willing to just back off and give her space, but if I ask her if that's what she wants, she completely ignores me. God, this is such a weird situation. I've never been in anything like it.

[zenby]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;42729295]welp she just asked me to hang out with her some time, guess i'll see where this goes[/QUOTE]

So my friend thinks I should just straight up ask her if this would be a date or not. Thoughts?

[Big Dumb Patriot]

Got a date tomorrow :jazzhands:

[editline]1st November 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;42729560]So my friend thinks I should just straight up ask her if this would be a date or not. Thoughts?[/QUOTE]

If you're unsure, yeah. You're probably going to want to make sure you both have the same intentions, or things could get awkward pretty quickly.

[zenby]

Well I was pretty opposed to the idea and I asked a female friend with much more relationship experience and she heavily advised against it and gave more helpful advice

[Meller Yeller]

-snip-
Didn't read that right

[zenby]

Well it's set for tomorrow night and now she want to know what I want to do

Edit: suggested getting coffee and then wandering around the local downtown area. now I wait and see what happens

edit2: "or we could like watch a movie" well okay then..

[Catshit]

I have literally one friend left now.
Out of my 4 friends, one moved away a long time ago, and two have gotten upset with me and we've stopped talking.
The one friend I have, while my best friend (almost a brother of sorts), has 2 jobs and is always busy.
I have nobody to really hang out with, and I'm not the type that can just 'make friends' nor let people get close to me.

[Aries]

damn it i missed the part where everyone was saying what they did the night before

I went to a party where the first thing i saw was a norwegian guy in a horse mask named Hawkonen was swallowing a double ended dildo with faces drawn on it and for some reason it wasn't the weirdest thing i saw at the party

I cut my finger on a beer, then i had every girl in the party kiss me on the cheek and then later i made out with three of them. I feel very confused.

[Heigou]

I saved a baby bird two days ago and it died during the night :(, it didn't even have a name yet.

[andololol]

On Halloween I asked the girl I liked out, but I did it in front of a bunch of my friends (terrible idea) and she just sat there all red-faced and so shy she covered her face and giggled a bit.

But that's not important.

On that same Halloween my friend asked for help with this girl he likes. He is always so nervous that when she sits next to him he doesn't even acknowledge her and I asked the girl and she likes him. So the question is, got any advice I should tell my friend?

[Heigou]

Read the thread title.

[NoDachi]

I posted this in the sex gf thread but i realised this is place normally has better advice

i found out why the girl i recently broken up with went all weird and cut me out of her life

she found she had cancer

now she won't see me or talk about it

and thinks it'll be better if she cuts me out of her life

I just don't know what to think or do. I feel selfish for how much this hurts me and I just don't know what to do is right for her either

[andololol]

[QUOTE=Heigou;42732582]Read the thread title.[/QUOTE]

Well I already told him that. He said it was really discouraging.

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=andololol;42732762]Well I already told him that. He said it was really discouraging.[/QUOTE]

Well that's too bad because there's not much else he can do, guy wants something, he has to go get it.

[lordcrypto]

[QUOTE=SleepyAl;42729535]So there's this big party going on in my apartment right now. Tons of booze, loud music, the usual.

And I'm locked away in my room, alone, lights off.

I just can't deal with parties anymore. Too much sound, too many people, it drains me. My friends feel bad that I don't want to go out there, but I just don't want to. Well, that's a bit of a lie, I'd want to go out there so I wouldn't be the weird guy who likes his quiet time more than getting wasted and dancing, but I never have fun at these things and I feel awkward because of that. It feels like everyone I meet just wants to party, and I can't find people like me who prefer not to.

How do I tell my friends that I'm, well, introverted, and that I don't like doing shit like parties? They always try to get me to go with them, and it's almost guilting me in a way because they "feel bad" that I'm "all alone in my room". I tell them I don't enjoy them, I'd rather not go but for some reason they can't comprehend that and always try to get me to go.

This is gonna sound fucked up but I think I need better friends, however my school is full of party-hard preppy people and the arts and sciences are left to class rather than discussion so I've not met a single person like me, or at the very least someone who shares something in common with me.

Augh, it feels like I'm stuck in a hole I can't get out of. I end up just spending time by myself since at the very least I can go online and discuss the stuff I like to talk about, even though most of the time I just lurk.[/QUOTE]
that isn't what introverted is

stop using it as an excuse to avoid social situations

[MuffinZerg]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;42732615]I posted this in the sex gf thread but i realised this is place normally has better advice

i found out why the girl i recently broken up with went all weird and cut me out of her life

she found she had cancer

now she won't see me or talk about it

and thinks it'll be better if she cuts me out of her life

I just don't know what to think or do. I feel selfish for how much this hurts me and I just don't know what to do is right for her either[/QUOTE]

If I were you I would try to tell her that it's okay and you understand her decision. You can offer to be close to her if you wish (I most possibly would), but if she refuses don't force it.

[Average User]

Am I doing something wrong if all of my friends get invited to a super big jam and I don't? I mean, 300 people were at this party, and nobody even told me about it until I saw the drunk tweets

[Banandana]

Is it just me or are a lot of these problems people simply overthinking things?

I mean anytime I talk to someone, it's not like I'm super worried about how they think of me. When I just talk to them, my true self shows, so why would I care to be any different. If they don't like me, that's their deal.

???

[chinatown]

Well yeah most of the times, people not asking other people out or doing stupid stuff is because theyre overthinking and being nervous. They cant help it though, its only gone with experience and how you see it.

And its not as simple as "be yourself, if they dont like you its their problem". What if youre a truly bad person? You dont know it, because in everybody's mind its always "Im a good person"

[SleepyAl]

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;42732991]that isn't what introverted is

stop using it as an excuse to avoid social situations[/QUOTE]

What is introverted then? I thought it was someone who prefers to do solitary things, is a "thinker" more than a "doer" and gets drained when around lots of people, which fits me to a T. I have yet to enjoy a party and I've been to around 7 for my college career, and it always ends with me leaving ~30 minutes in because I feel awkward, alone and overstimulated, going to my room and getting depressed.

I mean, parties are extremely anxiety provoking for me anyways, so I understand the main reason I avoid them is because of anxiety, but combined with the fact that I'm not a social butterfly, I can't drink/smoke and I would rather be in a quiet environment with 2, 3 friends at most makes me feel like parties are not the way to go.