Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Juice_Layer]

[QUOTE=theobod;42761874]On my way to the hospital now. You'll hear from me sometime tomoroow! Its 5:25 am here, and the operation will start at 8:00 am.[/QUOTE]

Good luck with your surgery!

I hope you meet a girl that you're too afraid to talk to so you'll stick around these parts.

[Mr. Bleak]

On the topic of movie dates, I hate them. The only time I find it acceptable to go to a movie on a date with someone, as opposed to going just for the sake of it, is if I already know them fairly well and just want to spend some time with them.

There is such a small amount of interaction that it's pointless, especially getting to know them. Dinner and a movie is a bit different, but it's still uncomfortable.

[Aries]

why can i never find this thread or the SGAS thread on the GD main page?

[zenby]

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;42763751]So i run out of Antidepressants and my ADHD is showing again.

My psychiatrist says that i should wait 15 days to see how it works out for me and then report the effects with and without the pills.

I noticed that i am ay more tense and i can't make myself relax as i did with the pills, i've become less reliable and i don't do what i need to do, people around me tell me to chill out and i can't and i get anxious. Also the need to run around when i am standing still is so damn big that i hardly even stay still moving my legs around and there is so many thoughts in my mind that i can't even talk.

Obviously the pills worked at some degree as all the problems above were not there when i was taking them, there were some remnants of my ADHD like my attention span but it was longer than before the pills.

Should i continue at 150mg, Or go to 300 mg dosage?

The pills i am taking are wellbutrin 150 mg.

note that i had NO side effects from the pills except when i was drinking energy drinks, coffe and alcohol which i stopped consuming.[/QUOTE]

I'd say you should wait the 15 days. I haven't taken wellbutrin (only methyphenidate/dexmethylphenidate), but it is possible to rebound when you go off ADHD meds and have the effects temporarily worsen.

[Big Dumb Patriot]

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;42763124]On the topic of movie dates, I hate them. The only time I find it acceptable to go to a movie on a date with someone, as opposed to going just for the sake of it, is if I already know them fairly well and just want to spend some time with them.

There is such a small amount of interaction that it's pointless, especially getting to know them. Dinner and a movie is a bit different, but it's still uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]

Terrible first date, fine for following dates (especially if preceded by wining and dining). You go to dinner and talk and get comfortable and whatnot, then head to a theater where the armrests go up and get a bit cozy.

[Catshit]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;42764973]Terrible first date, fine for following dates (especially if preceded by wining and dining). You go to dinner and talk and get comfortable and whatnot, then head to a theater where the armrests go up and get a bit cozy.[/QUOTE]

[IMG]http://31.media.tumblr.com/5cc284daae43713ca8e89fb1df44858d/tumblr_ml220kc5Qc1qklspyo1_1280.jpg[/IMG]

:D ?
(I still have yet to find out where this even is.)

[Big Dumb Patriot]

Woah. What an awesome idea.

[Used Car Salesm]

[QUOTE=Catscratch;42765001][IMG]http://31.media.tumblr.com/5cc284daae43713ca8e89fb1df44858d/tumblr_ml220kc5Qc1qklspyo1_1280.jpg[/IMG]

:D ?
(I still have yet to find out where this even is.)[/QUOTE]

This would make the inflated ticket price worth it.

[SleepyAl]

Yeah, so it's official that I have Social Anxiety Disorder. That's probably why I'm having so many issues socializing. It makes me feel better that there's actually something wrong with me and not that I'm being a pussy bitch because I can't leave my own goddamned room during a party without a huge panic attack, or that trying to talk to people I don't know makes me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.

I've been on medication for a while now, but they were for issues growing up (PDD-NOS, I don't really fit into that category anymore, especially since I'm not a kid anymore), so now they're going to try different medications. It's gonna be effexor or cymbalta (highly unlikely for cymbalta cause that shit's like $500 for a 90 day supply since my insurance sucks dick) and possibly lamictal. I might get a p.r.n. of klonopin just to make it through anxious situations like parties and shit like that so I don't have another episode and almost go to the hospital.

I'm hoping that this works, because I can't really stand the anxiety for socializing anymore. I'm also going to look for CBT therapy since the place I go to doesn't offer it, and that combined with the medication should help.

[jhfjdh746]

I can't seem to hold down a relationship; I just blew through like..three relationships in two weeks; I can't find anybody I'm attracted to; am I better off just not pursing somebody and be miserable ?

Or do I keep doing this and just hope I get lucky.

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=Catscratch;42765001]-movie theater-

:D ?
(I still have yet to find out where this even is.)[/QUOTE]

Reminds me of a theater I went to in Arizona that had couches for seats.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=S33T;42765996]I can't seem to hold down a relationship; I just blew through like..three relationships in two weeks; I can't find anybody I'm attracted to; am I better off just not pursing somebody and be miserable ?

Or do I keep doing this and just hope I get lucky.[/QUOTE]

in two weeks? unless you're in high school that's called dating, not a relationship
dating around is normal. you're not going to be compatible with every person you meet

[Schmoe]

I asked for some help a few weeks ago, and I'd like your guys' advice again.

I'm at a new college as of this semester, and there's a girl here I like a lot - more than anyone else I've ever met. We joke around, play duets (we're musicians), text quite a lot, and stay up past 2:00 AM on weeknights - just the two of us. She's like a best friend I'm attracted to. We watch a movie every weekend (as well as play some games) and it always ends up being just us lying on my bed till 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning. The reason I've not asked her out is that she has a boyfriend back home. She's never mentioned him (barring once regarding Skype), but I know he exists and I'd feel like a dick for getting in the way.

A month ago, we're texting at 2:00 in the morning and she asks me if I like her. I told her that, honestly, I do, but I know she has a boyfriend and I respect that. She responded back by thanking me for being so honest and saying, "And I'm glad you're cool with being friends. Because I like hanging out with you."

A week later, it's 2:00 again and I ask her what she thinks of me. In what has to be the most ambiguous reply ever, she says she "thinks" I'm "maybe just a friend," but her feelings on people change easily and she's not sure if she wants a long distance relationship. Two days after that she texts me saying that she'd done some thinking and she does like me, but that she's not entirely sure if it's genuine (if you can't tell, she doesn't express herself easily). Following this we went from hanging out twice a week to twice a day. Presently, a fair amount of people around campus think we're a thing.

What I'm getting now, though, is tons of mixed signals. She said I could meet her boyfriend over Skype last weekend, then apologized later that night for her prior bad mood. The next day she helped me pick out some clothes and we got dinner. Yesterday we went to the movies together. She put makeup on, was closer than usual, and then laid all our food on the armrest between us and, upon leaving the theater, texted someone else (pretty sure it was her boyfriend) while casually talking to me the rest of the night. This type of back and forth happens on a day-to-day basis. In group settings, for example, she's much more reluctant to say hi (specifically to me) than if it's just us. I saw her at lunch today and she ignored me, even though tonight we're getting dinner together.

I know that she's naturally a distant person who needs time alone and her own space, but I've honestly got no idea how to read the situation. I'd love to ask her out, and I can wait around to see if her current relationship goes south, but I don't want to hold out hope if there isn't any. I've also got friends who say to just go for it and make a move, but knowing how distant she can get that could very easily end up with her avoiding me. Gah, sorry for sounding like an idiot, I'm just very inexperienced with these things and I don't know what to do. Anything you guys can say, good or bad, will help tremendously. If it makes a difference in the advice you give, she's very honest and open to any conversation.

[G3rman]

Quit beating around the bush and lay out your concerns with her. Tell her how you feel, again if need be, and tell her you are interested in it being more.

Get to the root of the problem, get it out in the open, and then decide whether its worth being friends forever or if you want something more.

[kaine123]

Just went on a date with her. It was quite nice.

[Splash Attack]

Keep trying to talk to girl in my class. I make small comments about class things but she just gives dead end, one word replies. Any other time she keeps to herself and reads. I did manage to have a decent conversation last Thursday, but not much else other than that.

I did blow my chance of talking to her on the way to our cars today though. I need to just stop being so timid and missing opportunities like this. Blegh.

[andololol]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42770026]Keep trying to talk to girl in my class. I make small comments about class things but she just gives dead end, one word replies. Any other time she keeps to herself and reads. I did manage to have a decent conversation last Thursday, but not much else other than that.

I did blow my chance of talking to her on the way to our cars today though. I need to just stop being so timid and missing opportunities like this. Blegh.[/QUOTE]

You remind me of one of my friends who is having a hard time even talking to the girls he likes. For me, it helps to stop thinking about their reaction or some other "excessive" level of thinking that just prevents you from doing anything. I do this and last time i had a timid moment with a girl was the first time I asked this girl out, and I just though to myself "Just do it" (No Nike pun intended)

[/Vandy/]

I'm gonna go on my second date with my girlfriend this Sunday, after church with her. She is very catholic, and I'm her first boyfriend. I'm 16, she's turning 18, just for some context. I would really like to kiss her, but I'm not sure of the perfect way to do it. Under what circumstances do you just lean in, and go for it? People are saying run your hands through her hair, look her in the eyes, etc. What's your opinion, FP?

[zenby]

Have you guys ever firmly made up your mind against doing something, and then have your brain say to you "okay, cool, now do it"?

I'm having that happen right now with this girl. I know she's pretty much just trying to use me for sex, likely to get over someone else, and I should just have nothing to do with it. I should just focus on school and hang out with my friends or some shit. And then I just immediately think to myself "yeah I should just go for it"

[lordcrypto]

[QUOTE=/Vandy/;42770756]I'm gonna go on my second date with my girlfriend this Sunday, after church with her. She is very catholic, and I'm her first boyfriend. I'm 16, she's turning 18, just for some context. I would really like to kiss her, but I'm not sure of the perfect way to do it. Under what circumstances do you just lean in, and go for it? People are saying run your hands through her hair, look her in the eyes, etc. What's your opinion, FP?[/QUOTE]
how catholic?

[junker154]

I don't an issue having sex with someone when you both want it, sex doesn't distract much from school and friends anyway. On the contrary, it helps me a lot.

Even if it's only casual sex, it's pretty healthy if you engage in good intercourse.

[Jo The Shmo]

[QUOTE=Schmoe222;42767714]I asked for some help a few weeks ago, and I'd like your guys' advice again.

I'm at a new college as of this semester, and there's a girl here I like a lot - more than anyone else I've ever met. We joke around, play duets (we're musicians), text quite a lot, and stay up past 2:00 AM on weeknights - just the two of us. She's like a best friend I'm attracted to. We watch a movie every weekend (as well as play some games) and it always ends up being just us lying on my bed till 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning. The reason I've not asked her out is that she has a boyfriend back home. She's never mentioned him (barring once regarding Skype), but I know he exists and I'd feel like a dick for getting in the way.

A month ago, we're texting at 2:00 in the morning and she asks me if I like her. I told her that, honestly, I do, but I know she has a boyfriend and I respect that. She responded back by thanking me for being so honest and saying, "And I'm glad you're cool with being friends. Because I like hanging out with you."

A week later, it's 2:00 again and I ask her what she thinks of me. In what has to be the most ambiguous reply ever, she says she "thinks" I'm "maybe just a friend," but her feelings on people change easily and she's not sure if she wants a long distance relationship. Two days after that she texts me saying that she'd done some thinking and she does like me, but that she's not entirely sure if it's genuine (if you can't tell, she doesn't express herself easily). Following this we went from hanging out twice a week to twice a day. Presently, a fair amount of people around campus think we're a thing.

What I'm getting now, though, is tons of mixed signals. She said I could meet her boyfriend over Skype last weekend, then apologized later that night for her prior bad mood. The next day she helped me pick out some clothes and we got dinner. Yesterday we went to the movies together. She put makeup on, was closer than usual, and then laid all our food on the armrest between us and, upon leaving the theater, texted someone else (pretty sure it was her boyfriend) while casually talking to me the rest of the night. This type of back and forth happens on a day-to-day basis. In group settings, for example, she's much more reluctant to say hi (specifically to me) than if it's just us. I saw her at lunch today and she ignored me, even though tonight we're getting dinner together.

I know that she's naturally a distant person who needs time alone and her own space, but I've honestly got no idea how to read the situation. I'd love to ask her out, and I can wait around to see if her current relationship goes south, but I don't want to hold out hope if there isn't any. I've also got friends who say to just go for it and make a move, but knowing how distant she can get that could very easily end up with her avoiding me. Gah, sorry for sounding like an idiot, I'm just very inexperienced with these things and I don't know what to do. Anything you guys can say, good or bad, will help tremendously. If it makes a difference in the advice you give, she's very honest and open to any conversation.[/QUOTE]

tbh it sounds like she's not exactly handling the situation very well
im assuming shes a first year too? she's trying to maintain her old high school relationship which although it might have been very strong, is honestly a waste of time. as uni progresses, the split between your high school self and your uni self just grows and grows. [i]maybe[/i] theres a chance that they're one of the couples that beat the odds and maintain a strong relationship over distance, but the way that she's basically starting a close relationship with you suggests otherwise
in a way she's clinging to the past and the best thing for her would probably be to accept that it's in the past, and move forward

however, there's no use in trying to change her, she just needs to figure things out on her own

in the meantime you could tell her that you really do have feelings for her, but if she just wants to keep it friends and those feelings are getting in the way of your friendship, you'll have to try to move on or get over the feelings

[Used Car Salesm]

I've been seeing this girl a couple times a week for the last few weeks. Lunch, coffee, walking around and talking, that kind of thing. We seem to get along really well, she seems to really enjoy spending time with me, and spending time with her is the highlight of my day. I like her a lot, and I want this to be more than just hanging out for an hour or two at a time.

I'm positive she isn't seeing anyone else. Neither of us are very social people, and I kind of suspect neither of us has the slightest clue how this is supposed to work. Is my best bet just to be clear and honest, even if it's a bit awkward? Just "I really like you, I think we get along really well, do you have any real interest in me?" Is it insane and off-putting to just...say it? To just ask if anything can happen here?

I'm shit at subtle signaling, and I don't have the slightest clue if she could pick up on it if I was. Do I just need to say fuck it and say what's on my mind?

[G3rman]

I don't think its good to come out with your feelings like that without developing the idea of a relationship. Have you mentioned the word date before? Take her out on a real one and that should send the message.

[Big Dumb Patriot]

Second date accomplished, lots of smooching/cuddling. Future dates have to be less expensive though, because jeezey pete did I drop some bux tonight! Please respond with suggestions on cheap dates that don't feel cheap, because I can't be slappin down eighty smackers a night on a regular basis.

[editline]/[/editline]

"I went on a date, and I get nervous when I date. I get very nervous. I went on this date, and we went out to dinner and all these things. Then I took her home and she went inside, and then I farted for the rest of my life."

I hope that you enjoyed the preceding quote from Louis CK. Here is a topical follow-up video that is sure to leave you laughing. Thank you.

[video=youtube;y4LkrQCyIz8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4LkrQCyIz8[/video]

Now please dispense with the suggestions. I do not want to come across as a cheapskate, but I can't keep spendin' like a bigwig!

[Banandana]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/9uHA1IN.jpg[/IMG]

Asked someone out for the first time in 17 years and was rejected. It was good practice, we're still great friends.

Moving on without regrets.

[Mr. Bleak]

Oh boy, tonight was interesting.

I hung out with that friend of mine that I've had some issues with lately and it went pretty well. Almost startlingly well, honestly. Tonight was the first time that I've felt there wasn't some weird unspoken tension between us since before I made my feelings clear, although she was on her phone for a decent portion of the time (something I don't mind, but she's mentioned to me before that she feels rude texting other people when she's hanging out with someone... go figure)

She brought up the guy that essentially marked the end of our short-lived FWB relationship, and how they had a little thing which admittedly made me cringe hardcore. I kept my composure, and didn't act upset by it, but it still sucks. I dunno, I always get those little pangs of "you're not good enough" every time the subject is brought up, which I know in my mind isn't true, but I still can't shake it.

It's very hard on me knowing I've only been with 3 people in my life (19 here for context) and I feel almost as if it's been sheer luck every time. I guess that's why I get so attached. I mean, I'm scared to death that this last fling I've had might be the peak of my fun, intimate times. I can't help but feel lonely because I don't know when I'm going to have the opportunity for someone to care about me again. It's a bit of a quandary considering I'm more than likely not ready for any sort of long term committed relationship, but at the same time I feel so isolated.

Any advice, guys?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=/Vandy/;42770756]I'm gonna go on my second date with my girlfriend this Sunday, after church with her. She is very catholic, and I'm her first boyfriend. I'm 16, she's turning 18, just for some context. I would really like to kiss her, but I'm not sure of the perfect way to do it. Under what circumstances do you just lean in, and go for it? People are saying run your hands through her hair, look her in the eyes, etc. What's your opinion, FP?[/QUOTE]

There is no perfect circumstances. Thats the first important thing your going to have to learn that applies to everything in relationships.
Theres no perfect time for a kiss, perfect first time, perfect time to bring up a problem. Ya just gotta do it and make that time a good one.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;42772786]Second date accomplished, lots of smooching/cuddling. Future dates have to be less expensive though, because jeezey pete did I drop some bux tonight! Please respond with suggestions on cheap dates that don't feel cheap, because I can't be slappin down eighty smackers a night on a regular basis.

[editline]/[/editline]

"I went on a date, and I get nervous when I date. I get very nervous. I went on this date, and we went out to dinner and all these things. Then I took her home and she went inside, and then I farted for the rest of my life."

I hope that you enjoyed the preceding quote from Louis CK. Here is a topical follow-up video that is sure to leave you laughing. Thank you.

[video=youtube;y4LkrQCyIz8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4LkrQCyIz8[/video]

Now please dispense with the suggestions. I do not want to come across as a cheapskate, but I can't keep spendin' like a bigwig![/QUOTE]

Does your city have any cool free things? Sydney has some gardens which are nice, some walks like the sculpture walk, etc.

Alternatively, picnic! Try doing things which you actually factor into your weekly costs. Ie, just buy more groceries than usual, picnic with that, and then keep the leftovers for food times.

Check what's going on around your city is a good start, or just say plainly "Any ideas for cheap things to do? I'm trying to think of some too but I don't have much money so I can't afford much"

[theobod]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42762538]Good luck with your surgery!

I hope you meet a girl that you're too afraid to talk to so you'll stick around these parts.[/QUOTE]

Hahah thanks! I got my own room! The surgery took 5 hours and 30 mins, we were told that it would take 7 hours and it went perfect and I feel good! Can't barley sit up yet:v: