• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42766886]in two weeks? unless you're in high school that's called dating, not a relationship dating around is normal. you're not going to be compatible with every person you meet[/QUOTE] Good Point.
[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;42773339]Oh boy, tonight was interesting. I hung out with that friend of mine that I've had some issues with lately and it went pretty well. Almost startlingly well, honestly. Tonight was the first time that I've felt there wasn't some weird unspoken tension between us since before I made my feelings clear, although she was on her phone for a decent portion of the time (something I don't mind, but she's mentioned to me before that she feels rude texting other people when she's hanging out with someone... go figure) She brought up the guy that essentially marked the end of our short-lived FWB relationship, and how they had a little thing which admittedly made me cringe hardcore. I kept my composure, and didn't act upset by it, but it still sucks. I dunno, I always get those little pangs of "you're not good enough" every time the subject is brought up, which I know in my mind isn't true, but I still can't shake it. It's very hard on me knowing I've only been with 3 people in my life (19 here for context) and I feel almost as if it's been sheer luck every time. I guess that's why I get so attached. I mean, I'm scared to death that this last fling I've had might be the peak of my fun, intimate times. I can't help but feel lonely because I don't know when I'm going to have the opportunity for someone to care about me again. It's a bit of a quandary considering I'm more than likely not ready for any sort of long term committed relationship, but at the same time I feel so isolated. Any advice, guys?[/QUOTE] Well stop going for FWB if you're just going to get attached to the person and then get hurt when they end what is in their mind a totally meaningless relationship. It sounds like you'd be better off in a long term relationship but you've convinced yourself you're not ready for it.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42773613]Does your city have any cool free things? Sydney has some gardens which are nice, some walks like the sculpture walk, etc. Alternatively, picnic! Try doing things which you actually factor into your weekly costs. Ie, just buy more groceries than usual, picnic with that, and then keep the leftovers for food times. Check what's going on around your city is a good start, or just say plainly "Any ideas for cheap things to do? I'm trying to think of some too but I don't have much money so I can't afford much"[/QUOTE] Unfortunately, I live in a pretty small town, and we're getting into our nasty rainy/freezy winter months, which pretty dramatically cuts down on the list of easy free dates, like bonfires and walks and hammocks in the park. It's much more difficult to date in winter, I think!
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42775599]Well stop going for FWB if you're just going to get attached to the person and then get hurt when they end what is in their mind a totally meaningless relationship. It sounds like you'd be better off in a long term relationship but you've convinced yourself you're not ready for it.[/QUOTE] I have always been an extremely compassionate person, and I'm trying to tone that down a bit and get myself figured out before I jump into anything. I got out of a 10 month relationship in July, and honestly it really should've only lasted a few months considering how much I was shit on by my ex. Commitment is not a problem to me, I'm just bad at pacing myself for some reason. I'd love to figure it out enough to where I could just enjoy a FWB, because it was honestly great stress relief. But at the same time, despite my knowing otherwise, I always feel like no one (outside of family) really cares about me. Unfortunately, my therapist isn't so great at dealing with things like that.
[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;42777379]I have always been an extremely compassionate person, and I'm trying to tone that down a bit and get myself figured out before I jump into anything. I got out of a 10 month relationship in July, and honestly it really should've only lasted a few months considering how much I was shit on by my ex. Commitment is not a problem to me, I'm just bad at pacing myself for some reason. I'd love to figure it out enough to where I could just enjoy a FWB, because it was honestly great stress relief. But at the same time, despite my knowing otherwise, I always feel like no one (outside of family) really cares about me. Unfortunately, my therapist isn't so great at dealing with things like that.[/QUOTE] Or you just try and find someone you like and try and have a serious relationship with them and stop with the whole FWB thing completely. It sounds like its doing more harm than good. It isn't your therapists fault you keep getting yourself into these loveless relationships when you actually want someone that cares about you.
Missed a great chance to ask this girl What are good times to ask anyways, I don't really have too many
3/4 am You can then be the 1st thing she thinks of in the morning.
Or you could write a message in goats blood on her bedroom wall.
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42779956]Or you could write a message in goats blood on her bedroom wall.[/QUOTE] Why not your own blood? She'll see how dedicated you are to the relationship and have no choice but to accept!
for some reason i am absolutely terrified of kids and i don't really know what to do about it my neighbor was outside with her kids on my way to my apartment and i tried to make small talk with them and now i feel super self conscious
[QUOTE=thelurker1234;42779225]Missed a great chance to ask this girl What are good times to ask anyways, I don't really have too many[/QUOTE] there is no such thing as a "good time". anytime is a good time.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42780016]for some reason i am absolutely terrified of kids and i don't really know what to do about it my neighbor was outside with her kids on my way to my apartment and i tried to make small talk with them and now i feel super self conscious[/QUOTE] I'm afraid that if I act too friendly with kids people will think I'm a pedo so I'm just cold and indifferent to them. I was working a beer tent at a football game back in the summer and this 3 year old girl was trying to throw water on me and I was like "no please I can't tell you to fuck off but please no my phone is in my pocket please put some pants on people will get the wrong idea"
[QUOTE=G3rman;42772497]Have you mentioned the word date before? Take her out on a real one and that should send the message.[/QUOTE] Took this advice today and proposed a "real date, in the evening, where we go out together and do something nice". Had good results.
Recently starting reading through this thread again (used to read this alongside "Sex, Girlfriends and Shit", not to give any unneeded credence to the guy, back in the Maverick days) and it seems much more chilled out and maturer than it once was. I'd like to start dating again, not that I ever really was dating, I'm 19, I've only been in two relationships and a virgin, not that I really care but hey who doesn't want sex. This entire year has been me mainly sat at home due to my bowel disease, which I quit re-taking my A-levels because of (I also have some kind of wrist problem, undiagnosed right now). Being more social is probably the main issue, I'm not an amazing conversationalist so obviously I need to place myself into more social situations, or just by chance find people that I more things in common with than my current group of friends (most of which are off at university). Doesn't help that the only topics relevant to me right now are hospitals and TV/games. I'll try my hands at a group hobby, sport, or do some volunteer work or something. I'd like to try my hands at some kind of Psychology or Law, two subjects I wish I could've taken by at Sixth Form, perhaps go to University if anything sparks enough interest. Not necessarily asking for advice, more of a vent, although if you have any advice or have been through a similar situation do tell.
junior in highschool here was in english today when the teacher had us split into groups by counting off in 4's. One of my friends who I might have feelings for sits to my right and would not be in the same group. They then tried to persuade the teacher that we come part in parcel and as such should have the same number. Then later we were walking around near the end of gym and they linked their arm in mine and we just sort of kept rolling with it until we got to the locker rooms and had to split. This has happened several times now. Other times we'll just be sitting there and they'll like flick my shoulder and just keep carrying on what they're doing like it didn't happen. We've been mistaken as dating several times and everytime we both sort of just deny it immediately and I had to convince one of my friends that I see a lot during my gym class that we were not. Was about to ask if there are some social cues I'm not quite understanding but looking over this post I kind of feel really dumb. I think I know what conversation I'm going to be having tomorrow.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42780016]for some reason i am absolutely terrified of kids and i don't really know what to do about it my neighbor was outside with her kids on my way to my apartment and i tried to make small talk with them and now i feel super self conscious[/QUOTE] dont make small talk with children, instead try to destroy them your fear will disappear
You all were talking about pretend roleplaying in your head earlier... Well I pretend that I'm a giant robot. It's a wonderful way to make any activity more interesting. Imagine Pacific Rim robots, but instead of two pilots inside the interior is straight out of startrek. My head is a big control room with a bunch of people at computers and big screens. It's also were the ship central computer is. My heart is a big nuclear reactor. People are running around performing duties everywhere- maintenance crew members sprinting around in dramatic star-trek fashion in my bowels and legs. Suddenly it makes everything more interesting. Heart spasms from my heart condition? That's just the nuclear reactor on the verge of a meltdown- it's great action for the audience and the mechanics are hard on the job sacrificing themselves in radiation-flooded corridors. Sore muscles are damaged contraction cables. They're in hallways with mechanics re-welding them. If I can't sleep because I'm thinking about too many things its because some dope in the control room is using the central computer to run too many simulations. He needs to chill out. The computer isn't for his own personal use anyway. Hell, even just looking at stuff becomes "Using the forward scanners to take environmental readings and food is like when battleships receive cargo supplies. It must be offloaded in the stomach and properly sorted through. It makes life into a huge action sci-fi movie.
what makes you say you don't bond well with people?
well you should think about why you have a shitty attitude and maybe focus on things that will give you a nicer attitude. keep in mind having a bad attitude just means you attract other people with bad attitudes and thats not always a bad thing haha
works 4 us tpain eh eh ehhhh
yeah fair enough, i know i have a shitty attitude which is why i try to focus on things that give me a nice attitude. strange music and animals make me really happy and extroverted and excited. otherwise im really just an asshole who cant take anyone seriously
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0wK8nnSHFc[/media] [editline]7th November 2013[/editline] wait i read it as music and strange animals
How do you guys get over girls? I've been hung up on the same girl for a few weeks now, and I just can't get her out of my head no matter how many things I try to occupy myself with.
Argh, looks like my chances with this girl are failing. Had to delay a coffee date for a weekend because she went back home, now this time around she is busy all the time except for when I work. Pretty sure she isn't that interested either (otherwise I feel like her schedule would be more flexible), but I feel committed to the point that I need to at least try to go out one time with her. She said next week would work, if it doesn't oh well, onto other things.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42783071]How do you guys get over girls? I've been hung up on the same girl for a few weeks now, and I just can't get her out of my head no matter how many things I try to occupy myself with.[/QUOTE] With the help of Russia's two greatest generals Time and Patience.
[QUOTE=Firecat;42782881]Yeah, sad thing when most of your class talks about the deer they shot yesterday or their new truck and you just want to get home and play Counterstrike or something.[/QUOTE] gross you see everyone would hate me in your class because id make fun of them for that but i have lots of friends im a love-hate kinda guy
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42779956]Or you could write a message in goats blood on her bedroom wall.[/QUOTE] Please leave me out of this.
What're good ideas for first dates? Going to see a movie can't be done since there aren't any theaters close by.
The things I like during winter is ice-skating and visiting christmasmarkets, they are always nice things to do in winter. Especially on a first date. Grabbing a drink or some food is always nice, even if it sounds pretty cliche. Hookah-bars are also pretty neat and comfortable, if you both are into it.
I suppose an aquarium is a good place for a date. She and I were having a pretty lengthy conversation about Beluga Whale Penises last night. I just know I'm with a great person when we can talk at length about waterborne mammalian phalluses. :v: It's nice that there's enough places to hangout where we live.
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