• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
Haha, so I came across one of my ex's profiles on OKCupid earlier today, 10% match, 0% friends. Sounds about right.
I came across one and it was like 87% and i was like d'awww so tru
[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;42786851]i just fucking lost my wallet on the bus. there goes £100 cash, debit card, drivers license, years bus pass worth £300.[/QUOTE] Not all hope is lost. I found a $400 cash wallet with cards and all once and turned it in and told the guy on facebook that I had found it and gave it to some guys who worked in the parking garage where I'd found it. They were working for the university. However they were huge assholes and kept it for themselves. They got fired. But hopefully it turns up!
Make sure you've told your bank that you've lost your debit card.
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42778838]Or you just try and find someone you like and try and have a serious relationship with them and stop with the whole FWB thing completely. It sounds like its doing more harm than good. It isn't your therapists fault you keep getting yourself into these loveless relationships when you actually want someone that cares about you.[/QUOTE] You know, that's not a terrible idea. I may be moving states in a year or so, which lends to my apprehension. But yeah, you know, I just feel weird about not being ok with the whole FWB thing. I guess it's not for everyone, and since when did "normal" mean anything anyway? In regards to the whole therapist thing, I guess I wasn't being clear. He basically says "all you need is yourself and if you can't be happy being by yourself 100% of the time you won't be happy period." It makes sense to an extent, but everyone needs social contact every once and a while.
Huh. Found out an old-crush-now-friend removed me from Skype and Facebook. Not sure how I feel about that.
has nothing to do with anything but i have coffee decided to order a coffee maker two days ago, it just got here and i got filters and coffee and stuff in advance i literally just sat in my kitchen and watched it brew
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqg_PI-QbvE[/media] coffee is some shit
i bought decaf and i don't have class tomorrow so i'm testing it out tonight to see how much it will affect my sleep
coffee without caffeine is like gin and tonic without gin youre just drinking water
it's a compromise to myself sort of i quit coffee before i moved because of how addictive it is, i don't really want to deal with caffeine dependence again
I'm not sure if this is some pity crush or what, but here's a quick anecdote: I'm really into drama. I'm in love with acting and movies because it allows me to release the weird side of me. I haven't been able to get into it until this year due to some complicated issues that aren't really that complicated. Anyway, to the point of the story: I started drama and there's this girl who fits my description of a perfect girl. Blonde, average height, blue eyes, lovely voice, hilarious, actress, everything. I don't think I'm in love with her or anything, but I can't stop thinking about her. I just met her this year and it's fucking stupid. I had this movie auditions and she happened to be there. I thought, "Oh cool. She's going to do really well, for sure going to get a part." I've been around her and talked to her before, just not very much besides the occasional hey. I don't get nervous around her or anything, but in this movie audition I had to play this guy who had a girlfriend in this horror movie. She happened to be the girl. "Awesome, this will be fun." I didn't know until I got next to her that I was suppose to act as if we were together. As soon as I found this out, my stomach flipped over, my heart started racing and my hands were shaking like a mother fucker. Luckily enough this just seemed as if I was REALLY into the scene since we were suppose to be scared. I just can't describe the sensation, though; my arm around her seems like nothing, but I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Has anyone had this happen to them? Had to share this, seems like there's something wrong with me.
and i dont want to deal with alcohol dependency but we all make sacrifices in life
[QUOTE=The First 11'er;42794009]I'm not sure if this is some pity crush or what, but here's a quick anecdote: I'm really into drama. I'm in love with acting and movies because it allows me to release the weird side of me. I haven't been able to get into it until this year due to some complicated issues that aren't really that complicated. Anyway, to the point of the story: I started drama and there's this girl who fits my description of a perfect girl. Blonde, average height, blue eyes, lovely voice, hilarious, actress, everything. I don't think I'm in love with her or anything, but I can't stop thinking about her. I just met her this year and it's fucking stupid. I had this movie auditions and she happened to be there. I thought, "Oh cool. She's going to do really well, for sure going to get a part." I've been around her and talked to her before, just not very much besides the occasional hey. I don't get nervous around her or anything, but in this movie audition I had to play this guy who had a girlfriend in this horror movie. She happened to be the girl. "Awesome, this will be fun." I didn't know until I got next to her that I was suppose to act as if we were together. As soon as I found this out, my stomach flipped over, my heart started racing and my hands were shaking like a mother fucker. Luckily enough this just seemed as if I was REALLY into the scene since we were suppose to be scared. I just can't describe the sensation, though; my arm around her seems like nothing, but I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Has anyone had this happen to them? Had to share this, seems like there's something wrong with me.[/QUOTE] you're infatuated with her obviously is this like a new thing for you? it sucks btw
[QUOTE=thisispain;42794059]you're infatuated with her obviously is this like a new thing for you? it sucks btw[/QUOTE] Not really. I've been 'in love,' but it's usually not random as fuck like this. I hardly know her, I'm not sure why I'm getting all fuckin' sweaty about it. The shitty thing is that I have literally no fucking clue how to even get her to be remotely interested in me because whenever I have talked to her it's so neutral. There's no interest in her voice. I don't normally have a problem with this..fuck. It's not infatuation, either. I know how that feels. This is a bit different.
she just fits your model conception of what is ideal so naturally you become loaded with both self-punishment and desire. this fits the model of limerence. freud wrote a lot about this actually. read up on it, it might make the emotions easier to deal with lol
Is it weird to talk to a girl about issues you have with her? I mention this because I've been thinking about talking to the girl - who stood me up twice and now wants to be my "best friend" - about how it's bothering me. Maybe it might give me some closure, IDK. But, I feel like it's kind of pathetic to talk to her about it nor do I know how to approach it and not make it awkward...
Take a hint
[QUOTE=Lukeo;42794308]Take a hint[/QUOTE] I'm assuming you mean that she just wants to be friends. I'm fairly certain that that's the only intentions she has. The thing is that I'm probably going to see her for the next year+ as we're both in the same university. I've just been hung up on her and I can't get her out of my head. I was hoping that talking to her might clear some of the thoughts because I never got a "no, I just want to be friends" from her. I also can't see us being friends with me having these feelings for her. I don't know. It's probably a stupid idea to talk, anyway. So, I probably won't.
Drink it away Emu. I'm doing that right now and it's totally healthy. [editline]7th November 2013[/editline] This shit works wonders. Then you start thinking about her and it's all downhill from there until you're obsessing over her again. :D
[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42794581]Drink it away Emu. I'm doing that right now and it's totally healthy. [editline]7th November 2013[/editline] This shit works wonders. Then you start thinking about her and it's all downhill from there until you're obsessing over her again. :D[/QUOTE] I'm not old enough to drink legally, though... :(
[QUOTE=thisispain;42794145]she just fits your model conception of what is ideal so naturally you become loaded with both self-punishment and desire. this fits the model of limerence. freud wrote a lot about this actually. read up on it, it might make the emotions easier to deal with lol[/QUOTE] The idea of limerence is fascinating. Reading that overt obsession over someone not returning your feelings strangely put me at ease, considering I'm gradually getting over my recent issues. I think I'm going to enjoy being a Psychologist after college. I love helping people, and I love reading about the mind.
It's recently dawned on me that I'm a pretty anti-social person (introvert maybe, idk). I'm fine with talking to and interacting with people, confident etc, yet I always feel that I'd just rather not have to do it. I just flat out don't really seem to enjoy or see the need to interact with people. I literally don't talk to anyone aside from my best friend, unless I have a reason to i.e. I need/want something. I've also noticed when people ask me how I am, what I'm up to, I nearly always forget to do the polite/normal thing and ask them the same back. Now I don't necessarily have a problem with this as I don't feel lonely or anything, but I've realised it's severely impacting on my life, for example it's highly unlikely I'll ever get a girlfriend, I don't get invited to anything, and at uni I'm getting left out of a lot of stuff. Just wondering if anyone else is/has been in a similar situation? Like you're perfectly confident and comfortable with talking to people, but you'd just rather not do it? As if being social doesn't occur to you as something you do?
yes you'd be surprised how common that is, i'm the exact same way. as for it impacting your chance to get a girlfriend or be social and stuff, the only solutions for that are to either put yourself into the social situations despite not having the drive to be social, or to wait until someone approaches you instead. it's rare, but it happens sometimes. it's how i met my girlfriend :v:
[QUOTE=Dvorak231;42815664]It's recently dawned on me that I'm a pretty anti-social person (introvert maybe, idk). I'm fine with talking to and interacting with people, confident etc, yet I always feel that I'd just rather not have to do it. I just flat out don't really seem to enjoy or see the need to interact with people. I literally don't talk to anyone aside from my best friend, unless I have a reason to i.e. I need/want something. I've also noticed when people ask me how I am, what I'm up to, I nearly always forget to do the polite/normal thing and ask them the same back. Now I don't necessarily have a problem with this as I don't feel lonely or anything, but I've realised it's severely impacting on my life, for example it's highly unlikely I'll ever get a girlfriend, I don't get invited to anything, and at uni I'm getting left out of a lot of stuff. Just wondering if anyone else is/has been in a similar situation? Like you're perfectly confident and comfortable with talking to people, but you'd just rather not do it? As if being social doesn't occur to you as something you do?[/QUOTE] that's completely normal, introverted is probably the right word for it. as long as you're okay with talking to people and being friendly and outgoing when it's necessary it isn't a problem at all. just keep in mind that you're going to have to interact with others often throughout your life, and if you want to find a romantic partner it will be necessary to put yourself out there.
Hokay, wall of writing: I was meant to go to this pub at the local university last night to meet up with probably my best friend, a guy called David, because he's recently come back from a trip to Europe and I've recently oved back to my old town. We haven't seen each other in ages, so I got three other friends and asked around for a good pub. According to the friend of mine who goes to uni, the pub at the uni was great and so we set it in concrete that we were going to that. My friend Jessie tells me she's going to hit the clubs if I get bored at the uni, and I've been invited to an eighteenth of this girl who kinda stalked me but is kinda hot so on the crazy-hot scale it works out. I turn up to the pub, find David sitting outside, and I wonder what is happening. He explains to me that someone told him that the pub hasn't opened on a Saturday in [I]seven years[/I] due to the amount of army jerks frequenting it. And even when it's open on a Friday, it's never open at the time we turned up. Well okay, I guess the five of us are going to town. We make a pub crawl out of it, going from pub to pub. At the second pub I hear a lot of old music being played by a female singer/guitarist combo, I lost ten bucks due to a game of Pool, I chat to the singer and to my friends' chagrin she dedicates a song to me! I add her on Facebook, my friend Miki snapchats me and I tell her join us and she politely says she wants to finish up what she's doing at the club she's at. My phone dies, we go to other pubs, I met a German backpacker named Monika, and then we decide to hit up the eighteenth. I ended up getting home at two but a few of my buddies decided to call it an early night and so my friend Nathan chilled with the party folk while she and I caught up and she blatantly told me she wanted to fuck me. I was pretty tired and had work, so I went home and he caught a ride back to his place. It was a really great night, even though we didn't plan on it being anything like it was. As it turns out, the girl Miki has a huge thing for me and I should be kicking myself for turning my phone off according to our friend who was her designated driver (even though my phone died, haha) because she came looking for me, and I woke up to ten texts asking and two Facebook messages asking where I was. She's really sweet, so I'll make it up to her at another day. It was a great night! My friend David ended up heading back to our friend John's place and because his sister wasn't home he crashed on her bed. But then his sister came home, they shared a bed, and he's telling me that he tried to kiss her even though she has a boyfriend. He's now trying to compete with me when it comes to picking up the ladies, and I think that's a really bad way of going about things. I go out, I have fun, and I meet people, talk to them, and that's how I find girls who are interested in me. But he now wants to go out specifically to find women to have sex with him. Worst of all, he keeps telling me about how he can't wait to go out and do that. I've tried explaining to him that that's not a good way to go about things but he says he's just kidding (even though he's had this mindset for years, but I thought he got over it and matured). He's only ever been with one girl, and he tells me it wasn't a pleasant experience. I understand exactly why he wants to, but I don't think this is the way to do it. How can I approach him and explain to him that it's a bad idea? Should I even do it? Would really appreciate some advice!
I went out friday night with two friends and my girlfriend, surprisingly one of them is a long-time single and never had much experience with girls and he said that he would take a girl along. I was surprised and excited for him that they might date at some point. Anyway when she arrived we chilled out in a hookah bar and became pretty clear that my friend is really in love with her and tries so hard to build up body contact with her. She wasn't really that into it, it became clear that he sees more in her than she does in him. But I think she would date him properly when he would step it up a notch, he doesn't really know how to approach it and it's hard for him to find a way due to his inexperience. Anyway after a while we went to a concert and then it became suddently clear that she was attracted to me, my girlfriend also told me and I was oblivious to it the whole time. She always stood next to me, asked me for stuff and always stood right in my face while touching me everywhere. She played with her hair all the time and it was quite awkward. Also during the concert I danced with my girlfriend a lot and she always looked at us. Now I'm a bit worried, I think my friend noticed it and I really hope that it doesn't destroy any of our friendship. That evening she barely touched him but always next to me, so I really hope that he doesn't take it the wrong way. Also it looks like she might become a part of our group and hanging out with us more often, this might destroy the group dynamic. My girlfriend gets upset after a while and my friend always tries to go after her. I don't know how this will work out eventually. Anyway it was a great night and we had a lot of fun. Just something that I wanted to share. The best thing is that I don't even try to impress anyone, I'm mostly laid back and talk occaisonly.
So yesterday it finally came to an end with the girl I'd been seeing for just under 4 months. She had depression and an eating disorder, which she warned me about fairly early on but I guess neither of us realised how bad it was or just how long things would be drawn out for. We only recently actually properly made out for the first time (that's how slow it was). It was weird, we spoke over text pretty much 24/7 and it was really intense. We were basically in a relationship, just without the label. The main reason it's come to an end [I]now[/I] is that things have gotten worse for her and she needs to focus on herself. She simply can't reciprocate the amount of effort I put into the relationship and in her word's "it's not fair" on me. She needs to be happy with herself before she can let me make her happy. I like her so much and I really really miss her, but at the same time I'm kinda relieved at this point. My life has kinda revolved around her for the past 4 months and honestly I'm exhausted. I feel like I had stopped being me. She it ended yesterday I've been feeling so much more relaxed and laid back. Doesn't stop me missing her though. I'm not entirely sure if I'm happy with myself to be honest. Before this girl I've ALWAYS been very relationship focused--always thinking about possible girls etc. and I hate it. I'm now trying to make sure I don't go like that again and actually start to enjoy my own company and make myself happy, rather than looking for someone to do that for me. Problem is I'm not really sure I know how to. I have hobbies and I'm really passionate about them--Photography, Music, Politics, Formula 1--I've just always felt like all these things are only to pass the time until I meet a girl I can focus on. Help?
Finally asked her out early on friday. We sort of tiptoed around it until last night when we were getting ready to go onstage for the play we're in. She said if I asked her last year she would have said yes but now she knows me too well and there would be nothing new. The worst part? I got up the courage to ask her out last year. I said we should go out to our school's semi-formal. She thought I was asking her platonically and not romantically, and said she'd rather go to mcdonald's and spend the money for a semi ticket there instead. But I did finally ask her out and made it clear that it was romantic, so I have this experience for next time. Still feels like shit though. edit: jesus christ I just realized i got rejected in real life and i get rejected in the play we're in.
I can't tell if I have an actual social disorder or just really, really low confidence. Well, I know I've got really low confidence anyway but you know what I mean.
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