Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Dooskington]

[B]tldr; I pussied out of kissing some girl at a party and left, and now I am obsessing over it and I feel terrible.[/B]

I just feel like venting right now.

I'm feeling pretty shitty. I am 90% sure that I have social anxiety and now I can really see it. So a friend of mine invited me to come to a birthday party of a girl who I have never met before, and the entire party was just me, my friend ( who is a guy ) and ~8 girls ( who are complete strangers to me ). It was alright for the first half, we were in a karaoke bar and we just kinda sat around while all the girls did a few songs. After a couple hours of that, It was decided that we were to go to the birthday girls house and hang out there. This is the first party I have ever been to, by the way.

I was invited to her house too, even though I don't know these people, so that was cool I guess. We go to her house, and we all pile into her room ( which was more of a glorified broom closet ) and already I can see that I'm going to have a problem here. It was really hot in there, and in conjunction with my anxiety and just being claustrophobic, and then we start to play "truth or dare". So it went as I expected, as I have never played this game before, and these girls are daring each other to kiss and flash. Eventually some girl who was really cute was dared to kiss me. I kind of felt like I was going to throw up so I left and went to the bathroom, and I was just standing in the bathroom in shock.

I didn't really know what do do, and my stomach was starting to cramp, and all the while my mind is going crazy because I probably look like the biggest pussy ever. After a few minutes, I left the bathroom and my friend asked me if I wanted to leave. I say yes, and we leave, these girls walk us down, this one girl gives me a hug, then I'm invited to another party two weeks from now, and then we walk away. Since then I just feel like shit because of what happened. I can't get my mind off of it; I wish I had another chance.

It feels good to just get all that out. If you had a similar experience or advice you want to share, that would be cool.

[disseminate]

[QUOTE=Duskling;42829099]It feels good to just get all that out. If you had a similar experience or advice you want to share, that would be cool.[/QUOTE]

Here's the story of the first party I ever went to.

It was a Halloween party. I didn't know anyone there, other than my best friend who invited me along. At the time I abstained from drinking. I was dressed as some kind of mad scientist and my friend was dressed as zombie Michael Jackson. My friend brought a bottle of Jim Beam. It's 8pm.

We get there, get to the basement ASAP and he starts meeting people. I follow right behind him because I didn't know these people, how did this guy know all these people? In fact, how does this guy know all these parties? And all these girls? I got lost in my train of thought and when I snapped out of it, he had set up a beer pong table. He started pouring his bottle into the cups.

It's a pretty sweet party, actually. Not too many people, good music (the host had actual speakers), good ratio, not too many assholes (though still a few assholes but you get that at any public-y party). My friend decides to play solo beer pong with himself and cheats, with himself, and manages to drink the entire bottle by 8:30. That's the point the night went downhill.

Mr. Jackson is doing your standard this-is-a-drunk-man-he-will-vomit-soon routine, i.e. rolling around on the floor, laughing for no reason, what have you. He gets on the leather couch and his fake skin starts peeling off, the fake blood starts getting wiped on the couch, etc. I get blamed for him by the host and have to help him clean it up (i.e. I have to clean it up). He retreats to the bathroom around 9:30. I follow him, because that's what I did at the time. I get assigned to mom duty by the host.

I fetch him water every 15 minutes and comfort him as he vomits into the toilet. Run up, get water, return, wait for 15 minutes. At one point I decided to start dancing during one of my 'breaks' and three incredibly cute girls took notice - then I hear retching noises and there I go, back to tend to him again. This went on until 2am when he passed out. I waited and tried to wake him up, just to get him in a cab, but he wouldn't wake up. I had to drag him out, one arm around me, to a cab, that I paid for, that took us home.

That was my first party. I looked like the biggest pussy ever. You looked like the biggest pussy ever at yours. The next party's your chance to fix that (in a safe manner, mind you). If you really want to, just say you ate something weird before coming to kareoke. Microwave dinner that tasted metallic? Sure, why not, but the best thing to do would be to not mention it unless someone else does.

I'd like to remind you that she invited you to the next party.

My guess is that in 2-3 years you'll look back and think "I can't believe I used to be that person" just like I do.

[Dooskington]

[QUOTE=Disseminate;42829260]Here's the story of the first party I ever went to.

*snip*

That was my first party. I looked like the biggest pussy ever. You looked like the biggest pussy ever at yours. The next party's your chance to fix that (in a safe manner, mind you). If you really want to, just say you ate something weird before coming to kareoke. Microwave dinner that tasted metallic? Sure, why not, but the best thing to do would be to not mention it unless someone else does.

I'd like to remind you that she invited you to the next party.

My guess is that in 2-3 years you'll look back and think "I can't believe I used to be that person" just like I do.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the words, I think I am feeling a bit better now. Hopefully next time I can redeem myself :)

[TronCat]

I kind of need to vent.. so here it goes

Life has been full of ups and downs for me. I come from a family of 7, me being the second youngest. I didnt get much attention as a kid, which kind of sucked. I had friends in elementary school, but for the most part i was alone. I was dealing with a drug addicted brother and sister when i was only 8, i saw them go off to boarding school and not being able to see them for months on end kinda fucked with me. Through middle school i didnt even see them, and on top of that, my parents had sent me to a catholic school and i virtually had no friends there too. Middle school i actually tried killing myself because i was so unhappy with my life and i just wanted it to end. Once high school came around things started to get better. I transfered to another school in 10th grade, now im in 12th. 10th grade i was able to meet new friends and my now ex girlfriend. 11th grade was spent with my ex, which had it ups and downs.
This year i think has been the worst so far. Me and my ex broke up back in the middle of september and its just sucked. I feel so upset and lonely constantly, im always sitting at home playing video games or sleeping when my friends are out partying, and it just sucks because im never invited anywhere. Im always hearing about how this person doesnt like me or finds me annoying, and it upsets me because i feel like im a nice person and i treat everyone equally, but im the type of kid whos always made fun of and everyone messes with me. It sucks, but im just used to it at this point. Im just so sick and tired of people, i can barely sleep, i can only eat when im high, my grades are terrible, i cant stay focused at work. I really dont even know what to do because my mom or dad wont help me nor can i talk to them about anything, my moms depressed and my dad isnt happy either. It just sucks a lot

[Dooskington]

[QUOTE=TronCat;42829993]I kind of need to vent.. so here it goes

Life has been full of ups and downs for me. I come from a family of 7, me being the second youngest. I didnt get much attention as a kid, which kind of sucked. I had friends in elementary school, but for the most part i was alone. I was dealing with a drug addicted brother and sister when i was only 8, i saw them go off to boarding school and not being able to see them for months on end kinda fucked with me. Through middle school i didnt even see them, and on top of that, my parents had sent me to a catholic school and i virtually had no friends there too. Middle school i actually tried killing myself because i was so unhappy with my life and i just wanted it to end. Once high school came around things started to get better. I transfered to another school in 10th grade, now im in 12th. 10th grade i was able to meet new friends and my now ex girlfriend. 11th grade was spent with my ex, which had it ups and downs.
This year i think has been the worst so far. Me and my ex broke up back in the middle of september and its just sucked. I feel so upset and lonely constantly, im always sitting at home playing video games or sleeping when my friends are out partying, and it just sucks because im never invited anywhere. Im always hearing about how this person doesnt like me or finds me annoying, and it upsets me because i feel like im a nice person and i treat everyone equally, but im the type of kid whos always made fun of and everyone messes with me. It sucks, but im just used to it at this point. Im just so sick and tired of people, i can barely sleep, i can only eat when im high, my grades are terrible, i cant stay focused at work. I really dont even know what to do because my mom or dad wont help me nor can i talk to them about anything, my moms depressed and my dad isnt happy either. It just sucks a lot[/QUOTE]

I had to deal with a sibling's substance abuse as well, and he was sent to boarding school for a few years. I barely saw him. It's tough, but you get through it.

I didn't get too much attention when I was younger either, and I am still facing emotional issues caused by that today. I didn't have a social life either, but eventually I ran into an old friend at school, and I felt accepted. Since then I kind of gradually eased into being more social. Talk to your friends, ask them if you can go to a party they are going to. Ask them if they are doing anything fun this weekend and say that you aren't do anything.

If they are your real friends, they will let you tag along. I hope I helped a bit.

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42794263]Is it weird to talk to a girl about issues you have with her? I mention this because I've been thinking about talking to the girl - who stood me up twice and now wants to be my "best friend" - about how it's bothering me. Maybe it might give me some closure, IDK. But, I feel like it's kind of pathetic to talk to her about it nor do I know how to approach it and not make it awkward...[/QUOTE]

I didn't really get a response for this and am still curious. I think I probably shouldn't talk about it, but I kind of want to. I just feel like it's really awkward since I don't really know her that well.

[Big D Duchovny]

[QUOTE=Duskling;42829099][B]tldr; I pussied out of kissing some girl at a party and left, and now I am obsessing over it and I feel terrible.[/B]

I just feel like venting right now.

I'm feeling pretty shitty. I am 90% sure that I have social anxiety and now I can really see it. So a friend of mine invited me to come to a birthday party of a girl who I have never met before, and the entire party was just me, my friend ( who is a guy ) and ~8 girls ( who are complete strangers to me ). It was alright for the first half, we were in a karaoke bar and we just kinda sat around while all the girls did a few songs. After a couple hours of that, It was decided that we were to go to the birthday girls house and hang out there. This is the first party I have ever been to, by the way.

I was invited to her house too, even though I don't know these people, so that was cool I guess. We go to her house, and we all pile into her room ( which was more of a glorified broom closet ) and already I can see that I'm going to have a problem here. It was really hot in there, and in conjunction with my anxiety and just being claustrophobic, and then we start to play "truth or dare". So it went as I expected, as I have never played this game before, and these girls are daring each other to kiss and flash. Eventually some girl who was really cute was dared to kiss me. I kind of felt like I was going to throw up so I left and went to the bathroom, and I was just standing in the bathroom in shock.

I didn't really know what do do, and my stomach was starting to cramp, and all the while my mind is going crazy because I probably look like the biggest pussy ever. After a few minutes, I left the bathroom and my friend asked me if I wanted to leave. I say yes, and we leave, these girls walk us down, this one girl gives me a hug, then I'm invited to another party two weeks from now, and then we walk away. Since then I just feel like shit because of what happened. I can't get my mind off of it; I wish I had another chance.

It feels good to just get all that out. If you had a similar experience or advice you want to share, that would be cool.[/QUOTE]

Well dude, sometime's you just pussy out. It sounds pretty serious in your case, but there's nothing inherently weird in not being totally ready to mash together your lips with a person you met just a few hours prior. But fear not, there'll be a large number of parties and occasions for you to glob up some other total stranger. My advice is really that you should be a bit more bold, but don't do something you feel physically ill about - you should however, step out of your comfort zone once in a while.

[Jo The Shmo]

[QUOTE=Duskling;42829099][B]tldr; I pussied out of kissing some girl at a party and left, and now I am obsessing over it and I feel terrible.[/B]

I just feel like venting right now.

I'm feeling pretty shitty. I am 90% sure that I have social anxiety and now I can really see it. So a friend of mine invited me to come to a birthday party of a girl who I have never met before, and the entire party was just me, my friend ( who is a guy ) and ~8 girls ( who are complete strangers to me ). It was alright for the first half, we were in a karaoke bar and we just kinda sat around while all the girls did a few songs. After a couple hours of that, It was decided that we were to go to the birthday girls house and hang out there. This is the first party I have ever been to, by the way.

I was invited to her house too, even though I don't know these people, so that was cool I guess. We go to her house, and we all pile into her room ( which was more of a glorified broom closet ) and already I can see that I'm going to have a problem here. It was really hot in there, and in conjunction with my anxiety and just being claustrophobic, and then we start to play "truth or dare". So it went as I expected, as I have never played this game before, and these girls are daring each other to kiss and flash. Eventually some girl who was really cute was dared to kiss me. I kind of felt like I was going to throw up so I left and went to the bathroom, and I was just standing in the bathroom in shock.

I didn't really know what do do, and my stomach was starting to cramp, and all the while my mind is going crazy because I probably look like the biggest pussy ever. After a few minutes, I left the bathroom and my friend asked me if I wanted to leave. I say yes, and we leave, these girls walk us down, this one girl gives me a hug, then I'm invited to another party two weeks from now, and then we walk away. Since then I just feel like shit because of what happened. I can't get my mind off of it; I wish I had another chance.

It feels good to just get all that out. If you had a similar experience or advice you want to share, that would be cool.[/QUOTE]

dude you fucked up that was your one chance to kiss a cute girl and you blew it

[Doomevil]

Oh god, I think that blue-haired girl I'm interested in might have a boyfriend. I haven't really confirmed if she has one though.

[GoldenGnome]

[QUOTE=Disseminate;42829260]
My guess is that in 2-3 years you'll look back and think "I can't believe I used to be that person" just like I do.[/QUOTE]

I think this all the time but it's more in the vein of "how did I become such a spineless shut in when I used to be such a socialite"

college broke me

[Loopoo]

I'm at that golden stage of hair growth where you don't look like a tool (right after your haircut), and you don't look like a hobo (when it gets too long). It feels good receiving compliments left, right and center about my beautiful, curly, Arabian locks.

Everyone wants to stroke my hair. I am oddly okay with it.

[disseminate]

I want to stroke your hair

[NoShogun]

[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;42840973]I think this all the time but it's more in the vein of "how did I become such a spineless shut in when I used to be such a socialite"

college broke me[/QUOTE]

College destroyed me as well.

The So - called friends I made stopped inviting me out once I ran out of alcohol/weed, the girl I was talking to now ignores me for reasons I don't know, and I'm being forced into joining a fraternity even though that's the last thing I want to do
I used to be so happy, now I'm socially ruined

[MightyLOLZOR]

Ok....so I'm in a bit of a situation here. This girl sent me a message that she wants me to get her pregnant. Apparently she has a husband, but he can't have kids because he got a vasectomy. She says they will raise the kid, but I'm still kind of skeptical if I should do this or not.

[ardosos]

[QUOTE=MightyLOLZOR;42850667]Ok....so I'm in a bit of a situation here. This girl sent me a message that she wants me to get her pregnant. Apparently she has a husband, but he can't have kids because he got a vasectomy. She says they will raise the kid, but I'm still kind of skeptical if I should do this or not.[/QUOTE]

Is the husband on board with this?

[Heigou]

boner

[MightyLOLZOR]

[QUOTE=Ardosos;42850689]Is the husband on board with this?[/QUOTE]

She doesn't want him to know about me. She wants him to think he got her pregnant. He does want kids apparently.

[Heigou]

Sounds like a trap and a bad situation for you.

I think you should do it.

[MightyLOLZOR]

Apparently his aunt made him get the vasectomy. He didn't want to do it.

[ardosos]

[QUOTE=MightyLOLZOR;42850897]Apparently his aunt made him get the vasectomy. He didn't want to do it.[/QUOTE]

He can't get it reversed? In any case, wouldn't the aunt assume he got it reversed behind her back when his wife gets pregnant?

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=MightyLOLZOR;42850897]Apparently his aunt made him get the vasectomy. He didn't want to do it.[/QUOTE]

bailbailbail

[MightyLOLZOR]

[QUOTE=Ardosos;42850910]He can't get it reversed? In any case, wouldn't the aunt assume he got it reversed behind her back when his wife gets pregnant?[/QUOTE]

It was the burned type so I don't think that can be reversed.

[.Lain]

sounds like a really really bad idea
who knows what could happen if he finds out. he's gonna know what's up because of his vasectomy

[editline]13th November 2013[/editline]

tbh i think it would cause a lot of emotional problems for me if i was to see the kid regularly, but that's just me. ignoring that, it's still a bad idea

[MightyLOLZOR]

The way I see it, is that I'm just donating some free sperm for a couple that wants kids.

[Flapadar]

If you do it make sure you get a legal agreement drawn up that you are simply a sperm donor and are not legally expected to uphold maintenance of the child.

Just so you don't get shafted with a monthly bill for doing the deed.

[MightyLOLZOR]

[QUOTE=Flapadar;42851336]If you do it make sure you get a legal agreement drawn up that you are simply a sperm donor and are not legally expected to uphold maintenance of the child.

Just so you don't get shafted with a monthly bill for doing the deed.[/QUOTE]

How should I go about doing that? Should I just write it up myself?

[Dysentery]

i can't believe no one has asked the most important question yet

is she hot?

[MightyLOLZOR]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;42851561]
is she hot?[/QUOTE]

No.

[SaintBonkers]

I wouldn't do it. Knowing you have a son/daughter would feel really wierd.
And how would she get away with it if her husband knows he has a vasectomy.

[Flapadar]

[QUOTE=MightyLOLZOR;42851543]How should I go about doing that? Should I just write it up myself?[/QUOTE]

If you're not familiar with law it's probably best to get a lawyer to draft it, or at least a law student you might know.