Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[zukriuchen]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40368217]Better idea, if it isn't likely to be a last name like "smith" ask her how to spell her full name so you can find her on facebook (assuming you don't already have her on there)
I'm terrible with names, I've discovered every way there is to get someone to tell you their name without asking directly. :v:[/QUOTE]

She doesn't have facebook
Halp, tell me your (other) secrets

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;40370546]She doesn't have facebook
Halp, tell me your (other) secrets[/QUOTE]

Who doesnt have facebook. Well any other social media site is substitutable, even if she doesnt use her real name as the user its probably listed somewhere(Twitter, myspace, skype?). (although thats prob a bit creeper by then).
Most of the tricks I know are for in person communication since that tends to be where I'm dealing with people.

You could probably even just ask her how to spell it so you could add it to your contact info on your phone, since you know a few people with the same first name.

[rammaster]

I'm pretty much over this girl that rejected me after a long fight to get the feeling away. But now I'm kinda scared that something like it might happen again although I long to ask someone out to a date. Like there's a lot of them but I dunno if I should. Is it weird if I ask a sophomore out if I'm a senior??

[Missing User]

Broke up with that one girl, and now, like magic, all these other girls start talking to me.

[I]nice[/I]

[Splash Attack]

[QUOTE=Rammaster;40373887]I'm pretty much over this girl that rejected me after a long fight to get the feeling away. But now I'm kinda scared that something like it might happen again although I long to ask someone out to a date. Like there's a lot of them but I dunno if I should. Is it weird if I ask a sophomore out if I'm a senior??[/QUOTE]

Don't worry about it.

And no, ask her out.

[SundayRoast]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40370011]And what are you asking or telling us with such vague details?
" we get along but it's complicated" yes and?[/QUOTE]

It's complicated due to her having a boyfriend.
Neither of them is really happy in their relationship, but the risk of some fallout is there.

On another note; I suggested to her that we'd watch a movie together sometime and some suggestions for a movie, something good that gives food for thought is what's in mind.
Back when suggesting it I got interrupted by her jokingly suggesting something dirty.

[Deathhunter]

I've got something to ask and it is quite complicated.

I recently had some kind of event and I saw this real hot girl. Was prefect for me so I wanted to meet her and get her number or something. I couldn't because of something and during the time I was trying to find her at that location, I couldn't so I just went back home.

My friends knew her name and I asked for her name and they told me. I just casually typed her name on Facebook mobile and I found her profile but I didn't add her and when I exited the app, I left that page as it was.

I was hanging out with my mates the next day and we usually prank each other and stuff. My mates took my phone and added this girl. On and off. This thing appears on Facebook. I never told them I liked her but they teased me because they knew I did like her. Great, now she knows that I'm stalking her and desperately trying to add her since she actually was online or something, I don't know.

My original plan was to PM her or something. I was actually going to ask in this thread what I should send her as a PM so I don't appear as a creep. I know it's ridiculous to send any date thing or getting to know her stuff through text or Facebook message but I wish to try at least. Since the series of things above happened what do I do? I am slightly stuck. Help me please?

[Dark_Light]

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;40374384]It's complicated due to her having a boyfriend.
Neither of them is really happy in their relationship, but the risk of some fallout is there.

On another note; I suggested to her that we'd watch a movie together sometime and some suggestions for a movie, something good that gives food for thought is what's in mind.
Back when suggesting it I got interrupted by her jokingly suggesting something dirty.[/QUOTE]

For one, you're in absolutely no position at all to be making assumptions about their relationship or how happy they are within it. Even if she talks to you about it and even if you think you have her best interests in mind, her relationship with her boyfriend is her and his business and is far more complicated and deeper than your self-centred assumptions allow, and when it comes down to it, you're being a bit of a jerk to think it's in your place to make that kind of decision for or judgement of her.

She has a boyfriend and she is flirting with you. She is committed to someone else and she is jokingly suggesting you watch dirty movies together. She is in a relationship--whether or not it is one that is at "risk of some fallout"--and she is going along with your advances while you sit back and wait with your dick in your hands constantly waiting for her to make a mistake and cheat on him with you.

Am I wrong? It's a messy situation and one that is going to leave at least one of you hurt, if not two, and most likely all three of you. I want to tell you to stay the fuck away but I know you won't listen, so I'll say this much: Either be her friend and be so genuinely or be completely up front about your intentions and respect her honest reaction and proceed accordingly. Don't be that passive jerk that sits there waiting somewhere in between waiting for some accident to occur between the two of you.

[editline]22nd April 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Deathhunter;40375653]My original plan was to PM her or something. I was actually going to ask in this thread what I should send her as a PM so I don't appear as a creep. I know it's ridiculous to send any date thing or getting to know her stuff through text or Facebook message but I wish to try at least. Since the series of things above happened what do I do? I am slightly stuck. Help me please?[/QUOTE]

Aw man, that's one shitty awkward situation. Do you see her in person often or was it just some one-off thing? If I were in your position I would probably just ignore it completely; any attempts at damage control is likely to just make it even more awkward and/or creepy. And hey, if she accepts/messages you first then you don't have to worry and you can just take it from there.

If you get to see her in person again though and you still want to get to know her, my suggestion would be to approach her as if it didn't happen anyway. If she mentions it or calls you out on it then fuck it, just tell her exactly what happened--make a funny story about it and laugh it off. Proceed like you don't give a fuck because you don't.

[Deathhunter]

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;40376526]Aw man, that's one shitty awkward situation. Do you see her in person often or was it just some one-off thing? If I were in your position I would probably just ignore it completely; any attempts at damage control is likely to just make it even more awkward and/or creepy. And hey, if she accepts/messages you first then you don't have to worry and you can just take it from there.

If you get to see her in person again though and you still want to get to know her, my suggestion would be to approach her as if it didn't happen anyway. If she mentions it or calls you out on it then fuck it, just tell her exactly what happened--make a funny story about it and laugh it off. Proceed like you don't give a fuck because you don't.[/QUOTE]

I'm not quite catching your point. What do I ignore? The fact that my friend spammed the add friend and cancel request button on her profile? Or do you mean, don't send her a PM saying "sorry my friends spammed the button" (which I definitely will not do) or whatever.

It was more of a one-off thing I have to say. I saw this girl a few times but didn't talk to her until I realized she's quite pretty and stuff.

I may go to another event so I might be able to see her again and pick her up again.

[Riku2211]

[QUOTE=Deathhunter;40376910]I'm not quite catching your point. What do I ignore? The fact that my friend spammed the add friend and cancel request button on her profile? Or do you mean, don't send her a PM saying "sorry my friends spammed the button" (which I definitely will not do) or whatever.

It was more of a one-off thing I have to say. I saw this girl a few times but didn't talk to her until I realized she's quite pretty and stuff.

I may go to another event so I might be able to see her again and pick her up again.[/QUOTE]

Nothing is telling her that you were on her page to begin with; it'd be easy enough to say "sorry about that, my friends though it'd be funny to do that, I have no idea why they chose you" or something. I would think Dark Light is right, just ignore it and if she brings it up when you try talking to her say that. If you pm her, then she'll remember you, and i don't know, that seems like it'd make you approaching her a bit more difficult. Make your intentions bit more transparent.

[SundayRoast]

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;40376526]For one, you're in absolutely no position at all to be making assumptions about their relationship or how happy they are within it. Even if she talks to you about it and even if you think you have her best interests in mind, her relationship with her boyfriend is her and his business and is far more complicated and deeper than your self-centred assumptions allow, and when it comes down to it, you're being a bit of a jerk to think it's in your place to make that kind of decision for or judgement of her.

She has a boyfriend and she is flirting with you. She is committed to someone else and she is jokingly suggesting you watch dirty movies together. She is in a relationship--whether or not it is one that is at "risk of some fallout"--and she is going along with your advances while you sit back and wait with your dick in your hands constantly waiting for her to make a mistake and cheat on him with you.

Am I wrong? It's a messy situation and one that is going to leave at least one of you hurt, if not two, and most likely all three of you. I want to tell you to stay the fuck away but I know you won't listen, so I'll say this much: Either be her friend and be so genuinely or be completely up front about your intentions and respect her honest reaction and proceed accordingly. Don't be that passive jerk that sits there waiting somewhere in between waiting for some accident to occur between the two of you.
[/QUOTE]

I know I can't tell for sure how bad things are between them. I hear from her that she isn't given any affection or care. Whilst he's told me that he had to quit drinking at the city's pubs due to urging to pick up other women there and just the most of the time I was visiting his place he was talking about other women and saying that one of his exes has been talking to him more lately.

I wasn't planning on sitting around with my dick in my hands either.
Yeah first I was just glad that the two of us had re-established connection after a long while and then we just started hanging out regularly.

But I really don't want to go haphazard on the situation at hand. Thus even though hearing last time about stuff like what she'd do if she leaves him or even better: She didn't say that we should watch a dirty movie together. I was about to suggest something that we should do together and she interrupted me with the notion of that we'd masturbate together, before I even got to mentioning anything about movies.
And that isn't something that doesn't really get casually thrown around friends even as a joke.

So; I'm sorry for giving such vague information, but I was already afraid of that the backlash would have been even more on the attacking side had I just been straight forward about it.
I would have already made a move if it weren't for the middle-factor, but so it is and I'll do something bolder then slightly touching her wrist when it feels right.

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;40377920]I know I can't tell for sure how bad things are between them. I hear from her that she isn't given any affection or care. Whilst he's told me that he had to quit drinking at the city's pubs due to urging to pick up other women there and just the most of the time I was visiting his place he was talking about other women and saying that one of his exes has been talking to him more lately.

I wasn't planning on sitting around with my dick in my hands either.
Yeah first I was just glad that the two of us had re-established connection after a long while and then we just started hanging out regularly.

But I really don't want to go haphazard on the situation at hand. Thus even though hearing last time about stuff like what she'd do if she leaves him or even better: She didn't say that we should watch a dirty movie together. I was about to suggest something that we should do together and she interrupted me with the notion of that we'd masturbate together, before I even got to mentioning anything about movies.
And that isn't something that doesn't really get casually thrown around friends even as a joke.

So; I'm sorry for giving such vague information, but I was already afraid of that the backlash would have been even more on the attacking side had I just been straight forward about it.
I would have already made a move if it weren't for the middle-factor, but so it is and I'll do something bolder then slightly touching her wrist when it feels right.[/QUOTE]

Sounds to me like you're pretty clear on the fact hoping on them breaking up is totally dickish, yet still doing it.

Also it's pretty common to make hideously crude jokes in my friendship circle.

[Dark_Light]

[QUOTE=Deathhunter;40376910]I'm not quite catching your point. What do I ignore? The fact that my friend spammed the add friend and cancel request button on her profile? Or do you mean, don't send her a PM saying "sorry my friends spammed the button" (which I definitely will not do) or whatever.

It was more of a one-off thing I have to say. I saw this girl a few times but didn't talk to her until I realized she's quite pretty and stuff.

I may go to another event so I might be able to see her again and pick her up again.[/QUOTE]

Perhaps I misunderstood, I thought they just sent her a request and left it. Either way though, yeah, I would suggest not reacting to it until you have to, because it's honestly not that big of a deal and it is only your thinking that makes it so.

[Zerokateo]

[QUOTE=Zerokateo;40364586]I'll ask her out for the 2nd time tomorrow, if she says no then I'll just call it quits. I'll move on and find someone else.[/QUOTE]

Asked her out, said she's grounded for like 2 months of being at home. ( which is true ) but I'm just gonna text her like I have been, I'll try and find someone else at the same time.

edit:

Fuck it, its all "Lol"

she's not interested

[Dark_Light]

20/30 - 'i wrote this poem on the back of a receipt from the purchase of a dildo that i used to go and fuck myself'

I am so tired
from watching the sun’s rise
after every night’s end,
falling asleep to the morning
light slipping through the cracks
into my room and reminding me of the
day outside, the colours that breathe
and the birds that sing—
if only I had the energy
to take it all in.

I am so over
finding confidence in public bathroom mirrors,
drunken smiles staring into bleary eyes
trying to convince each other that they’re
still alive—
I still struggle to decide
which one to believe.

I am so bored
of bad poems about bad poems,
every word soaked in irony
and sarcasm enough to bury meaning metaphoric
so deep that even I can’t read between the lines,
truth hidden behind truth hidden behind lie after lie,
rhyming confessions of contrived accidents
from a life that’s only ever been half mine—
everything I write
I write it for you.

I am so sick
of Facebook ‘connecting’ me with the lives of
every single person that I ever let go of
and every friend that I forgot how to talk to
and every girl that ever let me fuck them
then didn’t,
old messages from girls whose numbers I only have saved
because some weekend months ago I was intoxicated
enough to convince myself that coffee with a stranger
was therapy;
they are all smiling
they are all smiling
they are all smiling
and I sit here into the early hours
writing poetry about their fucking smiles
and how I lost mine somewhere
last July—
I want to hug everyone
but I only have two arms
and my heart still beats but
I hide it beneath my palms.

I call myself an artist but
I’ve only ever been able to afford
paints in grey scale,
palettes of broken dreams
and ships that have already sailed—
like a god I hope to make art
out of nothing
and I pray that there is something
enough here for you to believe me, too:

I am still alive and so are you and these words are proof of that
so breathe,
just breathe,
just breathe with me
and read these words with me
and help me to believe them,
too,
for everything that I write
I write it for you.

[Rhenae]

I see no problem with facebooking someone "hey sorry you probably got a bunch of notification spam my friends are asshats"
dont say "i dont know why they picked you" its dumb and either points out your hiding it or makes it seem a negative thing that they did. (Which is isnt completely)

Its a good opportunity to strike up a conversation, depending on how she reacts.

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=Yahnich;40378535]i just want to pop in to say post coital cuddling is like the best thing ever[/QUOTE]

I enjoy post cuddle coitus myself.

[ForDaNords]

So -- this guy at my school, really smart (but with huge naivete) has been talking behind my back for 3 years, saying my intelligence is equivalent to that of a rock. Now, I just found out about this as on Skype, my school has a chat and he said several things about my intelligence (without knowing I was there).
I really don't care that he's talking behind my back -- although, I've been noticing that it's becoming difficult to get people to take me seriously (Thanks to what he's been saying about me, I'm assuming). So FP -- should I confront him or just continue to ignore him?

[Nikeos]

if either his words or the results of his words are bothering you, you should try confronting him. its typically really embarrassing to get caught in stuff like that, he might stop.

[ForDaNords]

[QUOTE=Nikeos;40385608]if either his words or the results of his words are bothering you, you should try confronting him. its typically really embarrassing to get caught in stuff like that, he might stop.[/QUOTE]
Alright -- I'll try confronting him tomorrow. Thanks!

[Zerokateo]

[QUOTE=ForDaNords;40385617]Alright -- I'll try confronting him tomorrow. Thanks![/QUOTE]

Just don't say anything about hurting him, unless you know you could and only if everything else doesn't work. Go to his parents first if you have to but leave fighting out unless it comes down to it and if you could take him.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Yahnich;40386156]that also happens and is also quite enjoyable[/QUOTE]

hey does anyone else like sex??
sex is pretty enjoyable

[Deadman123]

So guys, I've become really good friends with this girl over the past few months, helped her through some tough shit with this other guy, and I've started to develop feelings for her, but I know she probably only likes me as a friend.

What do?

[kaine123]

I hung out with a girl I like last Tuesday who I have a bit of a history with. Neither of us called it a date and I'm actually happy about that. We were talking over the phone later that and asked me what I thought about "us." So I more or less said I didn't care if we were "dating" per se but I just liked being around her and I found her attractive and whatever our relationship was it didn't need to be categorized. She was pleasantly surprised by that and we're probably not going to be "dating" now, but I think it's for the best. It feels a lot like a weight was lifted off of me. There's another girl I like a lot more and i didn't want to be pressured into pursuing a relationship with someone because I felt obligated to.

[Ast_risk]

Hey guys, never been in this thread before. I want to ask a good friend to prom, and I think she'd say yes. I didn't really want to go to prom, but today I thought, "What the hell? Why not..." but I'm not sure how to yet. I was thinking a poster board in a nice color with the words "Prom? Yes=smile No=backflip" and just stand there at the beginning of class.

I found it off the internet, fits my personality, and I think it would make her laugh. Thoughts?

[Slowbro]

[QUOTE=Ast_risk;40386939]Hey guys, never been in this thread before. I want to ask a good friend to prom, and I think she'd say yes. I didn't really want to go to prom, but today I thought, "What the hell? Why not..." but I'm not sure how to yet. I was thinking a poster board in a nice color with the words "Prom? Yes=smile No=backflip" and just stand there at the beginning of class.

I found it off the internet, fits my personality, and I think it would make her laugh. Thoughts?[/QUOTE]

ugh god no that's cringey as fuck

just ask her out normally

[Ast_risk]

[QUOTE=Slowbro;40386964]ugh god no that's cringey as fuck

just ask her out normally[/QUOTE]

Why's it cringey? Posterboards and puns are the norms around here. Keep in mind this is prom, not a date, so high school girls want something a bit more creative or you're deemed "lame".

[kaine123]

I also think that in the past two years I've gotten a lot better at interacting with people and I've learned to exercise a lot more tact in social situations. I've gotten to a point where a lot of people I meet seem to get a good impression and want to pursue further interaction with me. It's a wonderful feeling to know that people like you and want to be around you.

[martijnp3000]

So when I asked this girl to go get some ice cream sometime when it is good weather, she replied "If you don't mean anything with it, ok." So essentially I got friend-zoned right? What is there to do? Or just tough luck?

[SundayRoast]

The subtitle for this thread sure seems to do wonders.