• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Emugod;42886660] maybe depression...I'm still really skeptical if this is worth it.[/QUOTE] if there is depression, it's not. i've just been there (dating a girl with depression) for 4 months and it's left me an absolute wreck when it didn't work out. she needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with anyone else.
[QUOTE=Tennisball;42892089]if there is depression, it's not. i've just been there (dating a girl with depression) for 4 months and it's left me an absolute wreck when it didn't work out. she needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with anyone else.[/QUOTE] I've been through the same thing. The thing was, both of us were in a depression. So, her depression made my depression worse. That was an abysmal relationship, and it didn't help that it was my first relationship. I understand that it's hard to get out of a depression. I've had it for ~6 years of my life, and I'm still trying to get myself to a better place. So, I won't say that she needs to be happy with herself to be happy with me. I enjoy helping other people out, so I really wouldn't mind if she was in a depression. The only problem would be if that depression made her not want to be with me.
Why are people so concerned about someone that's 21 years old and still a virgin/never had a girlfriend. Christmas is coming up and my parents, sister and all her friends wants to buy me shit like condoms or porn mags and shit. They're also having me supposedly meet a single girl my age at christmas. They don't seem to believe me when I tell them I don't have a girlfriend and don't go around sticking my dick in all the puddings simply because I don't care. I'm busy with my own things, I work out 5 times a week, do boxing 6 times a week, studying in computer science, play guitar, sing, beatbox, dance, I don't really have the time nor do I care enough to free up my time for a girl. Basically why is everyone trying to force that shit on me.
Society still puts a lot of weight on relationships. Some families feel bothered if their sons aren't married or in relationships because they feel like they won't carry on the name or get any grandchildren. It's somewhat selfish, but they have genuine concerns. There isn't any reason not to at least go on the occasional date once in a while, if anything to stay social and keep your skills sharp. You may be a great well rounded person for focusing on yourself, but sooner or later when you want a relationship, it may be difficult for you to break into the dating scene if you don't have any experience.
[QUOTE=doomevil;42885605]but i'm too lazy to exercise everyday. Do I have to force a habit?[/QUOTE] It becomes less shitty after a few months of doing it every day. After that, it's just a part of your daily routine, and it bothers you more NOT to do it. Once you start feeling better and getting in better shape it becomes a self-reinforcing habit. Had a date yesterday that went quite well. It was nice to break out of the short-duration coffee/lunch thing and actually spend a whole evening together. We had dinner, went back to her place, and stayed up unnecessarily late watching movies. I like her, she seems to like me, things are going pretty well.
[QUOTE=Used Car Salesman;42897771]It becomes less shitty after a few months of doing it every day. After that, it's just a part of your daily routine, and it bothers you more NOT to do it. Once you start feeling better and getting in better shape it becomes a self-reinforcing habit. Had a date yesterday that went quite well. It was nice to break out of the short-duration coffee/lunch thing and actually spend a whole evening together. We had dinner, went back to her place, and stayed up unnecessarily late watching movies. I like her, she seems to like me, things are going pretty well.[/QUOTE] I think I'll try that, thanks guys.
my roommate has been smoking weed and playing video games or watching tv shows all day every day for around a month now he's always smoked a lot of weed, but normally there were at least a bunch of times that he was sober as well. i like him a lot when he's sober, we tend to think in a really similar way and we can just talk about anything for hours on end but he's becoming less and less of a friend as he smokes more and more, i can barely hold a regular conversation with him. me and my other roommate joke about it from time to time but they are very uncomfortable jokes because its a very strange issue weve been doing as much as we can to sort of set a standard for this being unusual behavior (ie we wouldnt budge on our agreed rule that we don't smoke indoors, even in the winter) and i thought maybe after a while he'd feel bad about smoking so much and sort of cut back. That's what he tended to do after his binges last year. at the beginning of this year he also said he wouldnt smoke so much, and every time he would take a little break, he would feel really good about it and sorta "brag" at how long he was able to hold off smoking but i feel like he's just given up recently, he seems to be making no effort to stop smoking, and it's now at the point where he doesn't come out with us or even really go to class anymore. his schoolwork isn't completely fucked, but i think it's definitely suffering as well. now the issue here is that i really do like him as a friend, but i have no idea how to bring this up. im not about to try to force him to change just because i dont like the way he's turning out, but at the same time i miss my old friend. i also feel like ive been a dick to him because ive been giving him little snide passive-aggressive remarks about his weed smoking that i tend to immediately regret saying his twin brother as well as most people in our mutual friend group also seem to be showing concern, but i really dont know if i should even try to do anything, or just let him be [editline]18th November 2013[/editline] its not like he's a bad roommate, he's responsible enough and we still do get along and hang out sometimes, its just not the same as it used to be [editline]18th November 2013[/editline] one time he was telling me his schedule: get up around noon, smoke weed and play video games until like 8, nap until about midnight, smoke weed and play video games until the early morning, then go to sleep what a shit life
How does he afford all this weed?
Ok dudes I need help I'm starting to see this ladyfriend (cuddled on the couch a bunch is as far as I've gotten) and I'm planning on asking her to a balls-to-the-wall date but idk what the fuck to do My plan is to go to the beach (where we first met) and set up a fire all by my masculine self. Other than that I have no clue. What should we do at the beach? All there is is freezing cold water and sand everywhere. Also planning on ending the night by going back to my place, getting stoned, and watching LOTR (something we've wanted to do but haven't gotten the chance yet).
That sounds like a good plan, considering that having a beach near you is an exceptional location. Perhaps grab a drink afterwards. You might also pack some self made food and beverage while chilling at the beach. Cuddling on the couch is a good indication that she likes you, good luck.
[QUOTE=Deadman123;42900004]How does he afford all this weed?[/QUOTE] literally no idea he's been spending like $50 a week
the gravy train AKA parents
Anyone else have a... I guess "turn on" that's a bit ridiculous? For instance, I probably wouldn't go out with a girl that has bad hair. I don't know what it is, but I really love nice hair. I guess my brain just says, "Good hair genes = good partner".
fuck's sake meant to be going out with this really awesome girl tomorrow night. getting really drunk with my friends. having an excellent time because everyone is finished with exams and it was my friend's birthday. lost my wallet with all of my ID in it so i can't go out because i was chasing kangaroos with said friend. i'm really fucking sad now.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;42899633]my roommate has been smoking weed and playing video games or watching tv shows all day every day for around a month now he's always smoked a lot of weed, but normally there were at least a bunch of times that he was sober as well. i like him a lot when he's sober, we tend to think in a really similar way and we can just talk about anything for hours on end but he's becoming less and less of a friend as he smokes more and more, i can barely hold a regular conversation with him. me and my other roommate joke about it from time to time but they are very uncomfortable jokes because its a very strange issue weve been doing as much as we can to sort of set a standard for this being unusual behavior (ie we wouldnt budge on our agreed rule that we don't smoke indoors, even in the winter) and i thought maybe after a while he'd feel bad about smoking so much and sort of cut back. That's what he tended to do after his binges last year. at the beginning of this year he also said he wouldnt smoke so much, and every time he would take a little break, he would feel really good about it and sorta "brag" at how long he was able to hold off smoking but i feel like he's just given up recently, he seems to be making no effort to stop smoking, and it's now at the point where he doesn't come out with us or even really go to class anymore. his schoolwork isn't completely fucked, but i think it's definitely suffering as well. now the issue here is that i really do like him as a friend, but i have no idea how to bring this up. im not about to try to force him to change just because i dont like the way he's turning out, but at the same time i miss my old friend. i also feel like ive been a dick to him because ive been giving him little snide passive-aggressive remarks about his weed smoking that i tend to immediately regret saying his twin brother as well as most people in our mutual friend group also seem to be showing concern, but i really dont know if i should even try to do anything, or just let him be [editline]18th November 2013[/editline] its not like he's a bad roommate, he's responsible enough and we still do get along and hang out sometimes, its just not the same as it used to be [editline]18th November 2013[/editline] one time he was telling me his schedule: get up around noon, smoke weed and play video games until like 8, nap until about midnight, smoke weed and play video games until the early morning, then go to sleep what a shit life[/QUOTE] Any idea of what caused him to smoke more?
I was taking to my classmates about my breakup and made a half joke, half serious suggestion that I want to go to the bar this weekend, and this one girl asked for my number and told me we would go out this weekend. Which normally would be awesome, but she's really average looking and I Look a lot like her ex.which concerns me that she thinks we're going to hook up when I have no interest besides making friends right now. Probably just go out with her, make sure I don't get too drunk and make sure nothing happens, if anything does I'll have to put my foot down and make my intentions clear. At least I'll be doing something interesting this weekend :v:
or just say from the get-go you're not looking for anything
You know, you're completely right, I'll give her a heads up. Lady thing I want is an awkward night with a classmate
[QUOTE=EagleEye;42903941]I was taking to my classmates about my breakup and made a half joke, half serious suggestion that I want to go to the bar this weekend, and this one girl asked for my number and told me we would go out this weekend. Which normally would be awesome, but she's really average looking and I Look a lot like her ex.which concerns me that she thinks we're going to hook up when I have no interest besides making friends right now. Probably just go out with her, make sure I don't get too drunk and make sure nothing happens, if anything does I'll have to put my foot down and make my intentions clear. At least I'll be doing something interesting this weekend :v:[/QUOTE] I dunno if this is something you americans do differently but here going to a bar doesn't tend to mean anything unless there's more to it than that. I go drinking with most of my female friends and as far as I know none of them want my dick.
So I just moved into university accommodation. There's me and like 5 other people. And the girl in the room next to me is really cute, and I want to ask her out, but I'm scared that if I ask her and she's not interested then it'll make us living together super awkward. Advice please.
[QUOTE=Flapadar;42907943]I dunno if this is something you americans do differently but here going to a bar doesn't tend to mean anything unless there's more to it than that. I go drinking with most of my female friends and as far as I know none of them want my dick.[/QUOTE] It could very well just be me being paranoid/anxious. First time going to a bar with anyone so idek what to expect
[QUOTE=Slowbro;42908644]So I just moved into university accommodation. There's me and like 5 other people. And the girl in the room next to me is really cute, and I want to ask her out, but I'm scared that if I ask her and she's not interested then it'll make us living together super awkward. Advice please.[/QUOTE] the best way to avoid it being awkward is to just talk to her first, see if you get along and then ask her out
[QUOTE=Bobie;42908832]the best way to avoid it being awkward is to just talk to her first, see if you get along and then ask her out[/QUOTE] I've been rejected a couple times and provided she's mature she won't let it impede on friendship.
Well, it's been 3 months and I've failed with 2 girls. I'm either really terrible with them, or I just have terrible luck. Why is this so damn hard? Sigh. I'm starting to get really desperate.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42909113]Well, it's been 3 months and I've failed with 2 girls. I'm either really terrible with them, or I just have terrible luck. Why is this so damn hard? Sigh. I'm starting to get really desperate.[/QUOTE] what, only two? you're not going to be compatible with every person you meet, and if you aren't it's nobody's fault, all it means is that you don't work well together.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42909193]what, only two? you're not going to be compatible with every person you meet, and if you aren't it's nobody's fault, all it means is that you don't work well together.[/QUOTE] Two is an accomplishment for me. Been dealing with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Been hard to even try to get into a relationship. This is actually the first time I've actually went out of my way to find a relationship. Still trying to put myself back together.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42909264]Two is an accomplishment for me. Been dealing with social anxiety and depression for most of my life. Been hard to even try to get into a relationship. This is actually the first time I've actually went out of my way to find a relationship. Still dealing with all the shit my former self put onto me.[/QUOTE] then it doesn't matter if things didn't work out. it's good that you're trying to move forward with your life, you should be proud of yourself!
[QUOTE=Emugod;42909113]Well, it's been 3 months and I've failed with 2 girls. I'm either really terrible with them, or I just have terrible luck. Why is this so damn hard? Sigh. I'm starting to get really desperate.[/QUOTE] Trying to be with 2 girls in 3 months is actually really nice, I never had that. I often have a few months between the times where I meet a nice girl. It's not really that dissapointing. At least you gained some experience.
I feel like I could have been with both of them had I had more confidence/tried to act a bit not like myself. I'm too nice for my own good, and just not confident enough. I think I'm just terrible with women in general. I probably would have been the guy that complained about girls "friendzoning" him even though he's exactly what the girls wants. I'm trying to stray as far away as possible from that, but I seem like I keep doing things, or not doing things, which make girls not interested in me.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42909640]I feel like I could have been with both of them had I had more confidence/tried to act a bit not like myself. I'm too nice for my own good, and just not confident enough. I think I'm just terrible with women in general. I probably would have been the guy that complained about girls "friendzoning" him even though he's exactly what the girls wants. I'm trying to stray as far away as possible from that, but I seem like I keep doing things, or not doing things, which make girls not interested in me.[/QUOTE] the point of a relationship is finding someone you're compatible with. if you're pretending to be something you're not in order to stay in a relationship you aren't going to truly be happy with that person. there's no such thing as not being boyfriend material, it all has to do with personal preference. if someone isn't attracted to you it's not because there's something wrong with you, it's just because their preferences don't align with your personality.
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