Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Used Car Salesm]

[QUOTE=ionuttzu;43050164]So I'm gonna be 20 in a few months and I haven't been in a relationship at all, ofc I'm a virgin. I think this is pretty pathetic and I blame it all that I'm way too self-conscious than I need to be, and also quite low self-esteem.
So I thought that as I have reached this age, it's time to start to make a change. As of this summer I'll start going to a gym and find a personal instructor to help me get started for the first two months or so, I'll go on myself from there (I'm not too fat nor skinny, I'm average.). I think that will help me raise my self-esteem because I'm not happy with my body, and I suppose getting to a state where I'll be happy with it I'll also gain confidence, which will also give me the courage to start being more sociable.
Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not the kind of guy that sits alone in a corner and nobody notices him. I'm not socially awkward, it's just that I don't have the courage to...make the first step? (I dunno if this expression fits this but eh, english)
Anyways, that's what I'll start with. What do you guys think?
Oh yeah I also have a hobby of hiking, but obviously not being fit makes it suck ass to climb mountains, so will help with that too.[/QUOTE]

Exercise helps a lot and will generally improve every aspect of your life. It takes a while to start seeing results or feeling any different, but once you do, everything about your attitude, demeanor, and self-esteem improves dramatically.

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=lum1naire;43049929]Yeah cutting contact is pretty much the most likely scenario at this point. I don't want this whole thing to have an detrimental effect to my education or personal life, as I know I become really careless when I'm emotional for awhile (it hasn't happened for a long time now).

I appreciate all the advice/sympathy you guys <3[/QUOTE]
A similar thing happened to me about a month ago, although we weren't in an actual relationship (as I explained before, our friendship had all the facets of a relationship without the commitment) and I wanted to try and get on with it and just be friends. Turns out, it was more of an excuse for her to back out, as I never hear from her anymore, although she seems confused as to why I don't really like her anymore.

Seems like that is probably the best option, it's just painful even seeing the person again for me, let alone coping with the stuff she's doing with other people and being vocal about. Sometimes you just have to iron out the fact that a bitch is a bitch and doesn't deserve what you have to offer in the first place. Best of luck to ya dude.

In other news, I have a coffee date with that girl I mentioned on Thursday. Stooooooked

[HighdefGE]

[QUOTE=ionuttzu;43050164]So I'm gonna be 20 in a few months and I haven't been in a relationship at all, ofc I'm a virgin. I think this is pretty pathetic and I blame it all that I'm way too self-conscious than I need to be, and also quite low self-esteem.
So I thought that as I have reached this age, it's time to start to make a change. As of this summer I'll start going to a gym and find a personal instructor to help me get started for the first two months or so, I'll go on myself from there (I'm not too fat nor skinny, I'm average.). I think that will help me raise my self-esteem because I'm not happy with my body, and I suppose getting to a state where I'll be happy with it I'll also gain confidence, which will also give me the courage to start being more sociable.
Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not the kind of guy that sits alone in a corner and nobody notices him. I'm not socially awkward, it's just that I don't have the courage to...make the first step? (I dunno if this expression fits this but eh, english)
Anyways, that's what I'll start with. What do you guys think?
Oh yeah I also have a hobby of hiking, but obviously not being fit makes it suck ass to climb mountains, so will help with that too.[/QUOTE]

I share the exact same scenario as you word for word. I'm 19 and I recently started to make some changes to set my life on better tracks. I found a good job a couple months ago and only last week I forced myself to get up and walk to a gym for the first time in my life. I'm not the most social person but after working a second part time job a couple months ago where I was forced to talk to new people every 10 minutes, I kinda realized that talking to other people isn't so bad just by learning how to converse. And as a result of growing up I hardly find myself nervous around random people. My current job and my recent work-outs started to make me feel a bit more self confident about myself and I hope it keeps increasing the longer time passes.

I don't think you should worry about being a virgin or single at almost 20. A lot of people our age still are.

[Taepodong-2]

Guys I'm back with an actual serious question.

Over the course of the semester I've befriended a girl. I've already decided that before the semester ends I'm going to ask her if she wants to go for coffee or something of the sort after Christmas break. Now here's the tough part. Do I keep it as a just friends thing or imply that it's a date and risk ruining the friendship? Or just not imply anything at all and just see where it goes and what she takes it as?

[Lukeo]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;43061252]Guys I'm back with an actual serious question.

Over the course of the semester I've befriended a girl. I've already decided that before the semester ends I'm going to ask her if she wants to go for coffee or something of the sort after Christmas break. Now here's the tough part. Do I keep it as a just friends thing or imply that it's a date and risk ruining the friendship? Or just not imply anything at all and just see where it goes and what she takes it as?[/QUOTE]

Asking someone on a date won't ruin a potential friendship unless she's immature about dating

[JgcxCub]

[QUOTE=Lukeo;43061269]Asking someone on a date won't ruin a potential friendship unless she's immature about dating[/QUOTE]

Or he does it in a really creepy or intimidating way.

[Mr. Bleak]

My best friend is moving 13 hours away after Christmas.

Welp, there really isn't anything left for me here, I'm definitely moving after I finish my next semester of college. I'm really cynical about the quality of people here and, even though I realize it might not be much better elsewhere, I'm done trying to make friendships and relationships work in this shithole.

Someone reassure me that it'll be easier to find decent people elsewhere. I swear half of the people here are whores, drug addicts, and downright dishonest.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;43061252]Guys I'm back with an actual serious question.

Over the course of the semester I've befriended a girl. I've already decided that before the semester ends I'm going to ask her if she wants to go for coffee or something of the sort after Christmas break. Now here's the tough part. Do I keep it as a just friends thing or imply that it's a date and risk ruining the friendship? Or just not imply anything at all and just see where it goes and what she takes it as?[/QUOTE]

Asking someone out for a coffee isn't as a big a deal as you think it is. Just do it.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43063021]My best friend is moving 13 hours away after Christmas.

Welp, there really isn't anything left for me here, I'm definitely moving after I finish my next semester of college. I'm really cynical about the quality of people here and, even though I realize it might not be much better elsewhere, I'm done trying to make friendships and relationships work in this shithole.

Someone reassure me that it'll be easier to find decent people elsewhere. I swear half of the people here are whores, drug addicts, and downright dishonest.[/QUOTE]

It probable won't be. You need to learn how to deal with people, and how not to be so judgemental, not just keep moving till you find some little utopia of all nice people. Shit don't happen man.

Even in Canada.

[Mr. Bleak]

Well, my reason for moving is actually to go to a good college, but I'm hoping I'm meet some more like-minded people. I have met a few great people living here, but I've had a lot of bad experiences in the past few months, namely getting out of my first long term relationship, losing a few good friends, and having someone who called me their best friend walk out on me to be with some loser.

I'm really open to meeting new people, and I'm generally really friendly. There's not a time I can think of where I didn't want to meet someone just because what I'd heard about them.

I'm not expecting to find some sort of utopia, I'm just hoping a full-fledged university town will make it easier to find people who have more in common with me and value the same things I value.

[Jebus]

Someone help me deal with psycho-ex, please!

For like a year now I've been trying to get it through to her that I don't want anything to do with her. Every month or two she'll pop up and do something crazy, most recently using one of her friend's phones to send me abusive texts as if I'd never figure out who was doing it.

Hadn't seen or spoken for a month since then, and now she messages me saying 'we need to talk'. I say "It's not a good time" as a polite way to say "fuck off" but she's not getting it, replying; "Is tomorrow a good time then?"

Basically how can I firmly say "Do not contact me anymore" without being too mean? Judging by her recent actions (and the fact that she's a psycho) she could probably snap and go around starting shit again, but I really just want her out of my life for good.

Everyone who knows what's been going on have suggested that I even go to the police, it's been getting that creepy. She apparently has a boyfriend and so I have no idea what the fuck she wants from me.

Anyway, help please!

[Lukeo]

Said it yourself, "Do not contact me anymore", visiting her and talking won't help either of you.
You clearly don't want to see her and you shouldn't have to put up with her shit, do contact the police if she continues.

[Gordo--]

I have a problem, and I need some advice on what to do.

There's this girl that I like, and well, I asked her out on a date. She said yes, we exchanged our numbers, and starting texting.

The next day, I get a text saying she can't make it to the movie we were going to see on a Friday, but maybe sometime on the weekend. I said I had no problem with it. Text her some more, and then she tells me that she "really loves this other guy, and it's been stopping her from doing almost anything", and "if the date doesn't work out, that's why". The thing is, the other guy doesn't know that she likes him, and apparently she's never been on a date with anyone.

I don't know what to do: should I still plan the date with her?

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=ionuttzu;43050164]So I'm gonna be 20 in a few months and I haven't been in a relationship at all, ofc I'm a virgin. I think this is pretty pathetic and I blame it all that I'm way too self-conscious than I need to be, and also quite low self-esteem.
So I thought that as I have reached this age, it's time to start to make a change. As of this summer I'll start going to a gym and find a personal instructor to help me get started for the first two months or so, I'll go on myself from there (I'm not too fat nor skinny, I'm average.). I think that will help me raise my self-esteem because I'm not happy with my body, and I suppose getting to a state where I'll be happy with it I'll also gain confidence, which will also give me the courage to start being more sociable.
Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not the kind of guy that sits alone in a corner and nobody notices him. I'm not socially awkward, it's just that I don't have the courage to...make the first step? (I dunno if this expression fits this but eh, english)
Anyways, that's what I'll start with. What do you guys think?
Oh yeah I also have a hobby of hiking, but obviously not being fit makes it suck ass to climb mountains, so will help with that too.[/QUOTE]

Good that you decided to take some action. For working out though Id recommend you check out the fitness section, advice there is usually pretty good, as good or better than some fitness coaches

[jhfjdh746]

Serious question, how do I tell if a girl is into me?

I have been texting this girl for the past couple of days, she keeps saying how alike we are and keeps making jokes with me.

When I told her I had a show on the 28th she said "I'll be there, front row" but I don't know if she's just a good friend or what..

[Lukeo]

[QUOTE=S33T;43067021]Serious question, how do I tell if a girl is into me?

I have been texting this girl for the past couple of days, she keeps saying how alike we are and keeps making jokes with me.

When I told her I had a show on the 28th she said "I'll be there, front row" but I don't know if she's just a good friend or what..[/QUOTE]

"Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT"

[jhfjdh746]

[QUOTE=Lukeo;43067078]"Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT"[/QUOTE]

But... how can I be sure if she's into me or not?

[Lukeo]

She likes you, you seem to like her, the only way of being sure is asking her out.
If you stew on it, it'll keep bothering you and make you scared to go through with it.
If she accepts, good for you, if she rejects the offer, you finally know and I'm sure she'll still be friends.

[jhfjdh746]

[QUOTE=Lukeo;43067191]She likes you, you seem to like her, the only way of being sure is asking her out.
If you stew on it, it'll keep bothering you and make you scared to go through with it.
If she accepts, good for you, if she rejects the offer, you finally know and I'm sure she'll still be friends.[/QUOTE]

Welp, fuck it. I'll ask her out it can't hurt right?

[Big D Duchovny]

[QUOTE=Raptors!;43041258]She cheated on you, I know you were attached to her, but she didn't respect you. You deserve better buddy, I would suggest going no-contact.
If she wanted to sleep with other guys, she should've let you go BEFORE she ended up in someone's bed. And don't count on a "friends with benefits" kind of deal with her, it will make you feel even worse.

You said it yourself.[/QUOTE]

No contact? Just because you cheat on somebody doesn't make you the goddamn devil. Like, I got cheated on once, and while it sucked a lot, I got over it and we still hang out a lot today, almost two years down the line. Sure, it definitely sounds like they should break-up, but cheating on someone is normally just a bad decision and not done out of malice.

If you break up (which you guys should), it'll never be a problem again (unless you really can't look on her without feeling like shit or something), and if you enjoy each other's company anyway, what's the point of having no contact?

[UncouthJungle]

[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;43067881]No contact? Just because you cheat on somebody doesn't make you the goddamn devil. Like, I got cheated on once, and while it sucked a lot, I got over it and we still hang out a lot today, almost two years down the line. Sure, it definitely sounds like they should break-up, but cheating on someone is normally just a bad decision and not done out of malice.

If you break up (which you guys should), it'll never be a problem again (unless you really can't look on her without feeling like shit or something), and if you enjoy each other's company anyway, what's the point of having no contact?[/QUOTE]

You went full retard with her/him.

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=Gordo--;43066617]I have a problem, and I need some advice on what to do.

There's this girl that I like, and well, I asked her out on a date. She said yes, we exchanged our numbers, and starting texting.

The next day, I get a text saying she can't make it to the movie we were going to see on a Friday, but maybe sometime on the weekend. I said I had no problem with it. Text her some more, and then she tells me that she "really loves this other guy, and it's been stopping her from doing almost anything", and "if the date doesn't work out, that's why". The thing is, the other guy doesn't know that she likes him, and apparently she's never been on a date with anyone.

I don't know what to do: should I still plan the date with her?[/QUOTE]

Dude, if she claims to love someone else, don't do it. The only thing that will come of it is you getting hurt. If anyone that you're interested in has feelings for someone else, it's a big sign to stay away or just stay friends.

[Gordo--]

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43070047]Dude, if she claims to love someone else, don't do it. The only thing that will come of it is you getting hurt. If anyone that you're interested in has feelings for someone else, it's a big sign to stay away or just stay friends.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for the advice. Well, I'll see what happens.

[Gatsby]

Man I just stayed in bed all day skipping school, parties and all that. I pretty much gave up on everything.

Is there a drug or nootropic i can take to bring back my motivation? At this point I dont even care if I die anymore.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;43070552]Man I just stayed in bed all day skipping school, parties and all that. I pretty much gave up on everything.

Is there a drug or nootropic i can take to bring back my motivation? At this point I dont even care if I die anymore.[/QUOTE]

See a doctor. Nobody in this thread is in a position to give medical advice.

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;43070552]Man I just stayed in bed all day skipping school, parties and all that. I pretty much gave up on everything.

Is there a drug or nootropic i can take to bring back my motivation? At this point I dont even care if I die anymore.[/QUOTE]
I was on Prozac and Lamictal for around 2 months, and it made me more motivated but it also made my happiness feel so fake.

Sometimes I'd just be sitting there and be overwhelmed by the absolute nothingness that I'd feel.

Therapy is far more effective, in my opinion.

[Gatsby]

I cant do therapy, not just because im broke but also I feel very uncomfortable talking about my feelings.

[Mr. Bleak]

I'm fairly sure everyone is to an extent. The first time I met with my therapist it was super nerve racking, but it gets easier over time.

And therapy isn't really as expensive as it's made out to be. If you can afford to go to the doctor every once and a while chances are you can afford a therapist.

I think I spend around $40 on mine.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;43073287]I cant do therapy, not just because im broke but also I feel very uncomfortable talking about my feelings.[/QUOTE]

Yes you can do therapy. Would you actually, completely seriously rather feel like shit for the rest of your life just because you're afraid of actually talking about your feelings?

[RocketRacer]

So that girl I like which is in my arts class...Every time we make eye contact(when talk and when we don't) she is constantly smiling and when we start to talk to each other she is smiling even more. oh my God what is happening. Is it because she is ultra-friendly or it's something about me? D:

[sp]I don't complain, I like her smile a lot[/sp]

I guess I'm overreacting and thinking about this too much.