Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Mr. Bleak]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43090856]So that girl I like which is in my arts class...Every time we make eye contact(when talk and when we don't) she is constantly smiling and when we start to talk to each other she is smiling even more. oh my God what is happening. Is it because she is ultra-friendly or it's something about me? D:

[sp]I don't complain, I like her smile a lot[/sp]

I guess I'm overreacting and thinking about this too much.[/QUOTE]

Don't overthink it, just do what the title says if you're interested.

[PuduEbooks]

i went to the therapist when i was like 12

It was a pretty shitty one, and i ended up worse than before. Pay for a good one, it will be worth it.

[Zerokateo]

[QUOTE=S33T;43067231]Welp, fuck it. I'll ask her out it can't hurt right?[/QUOTE]

Update: He didn't do it

[Splash Attack]

Next week is finals. It just occurred to me that I have had very little social interaction outside of school and work since my last break up like 5 months ago. I regularly socialize at school and work but now that the semester is ending, I feel extremely lonely. I made the mistake of looking at old friends' profiles on the Internet and it just amplified those feelings.

I've always been the type to have just one really good friend I hang out with. This makes break ups hard because I drift away from other people when I'm in a relationship and don't have anyone to go to when I'm like this.

Ugh... Emotions are just bad.

[Mikebot]

How does one get over someone they love?

[editline]8th December 2013[/editline]

and that someone is someone you see every day

[Kindlinho]

You just do. Just focus on something you like, beat it out of you or something. It works.

[Leader of Me]

I recently got in touch with a long lost friend who I haven't seen since my childhood and it was so weird. I couldn't really remember what she looked like but as soon as I saw her I recognized her instantly. It's such a weird feeling, it's like I have seen her before somewhere, kind of like a deja vu feeling. I am so happy that I found her, I thought I'd never see her or talk to her again.

[Metherat]

[QUOTE=Jetpack Bear;43105492]How does one get over someone they love?

[editline]8th December 2013[/editline]

and that someone is someone you see every day[/QUOTE]

I remember a friend telling me that you get over them, but you don't. You start up a new hobby, distract yourself, eventually find another person to love, but love never really does fade all the way. However, you can deal with the hurt. My friend says that when his fiancee left him he spent the entire day just hitting a tree with a metal baseball bat- by the end of the day, the baseball bat was implanted in the tree, stuck so far inside that he couldn't pry it out if he tried. That baseball bat was like the pain he felt- he couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried, it was there. However, he moved on- stopped focusing on that baseball bat, stopped focusing on the loss and pain and eventually, with time, that baseball bat started to rust and crumble. One day, it fell out of the tree, broken, rusted through. But it never really did completely break apart- it was there, but it didn't bother him anymore.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;43112431]I recently got in touch with a long lost friend who I haven't seen since my childhood and it was so weird. I couldn't really remember what she looked like but as soon as I saw her I recognized her instantly. It's such a weird feeling, it's like I have seen her before somewhere, kind of like a deja vu feeling. I am so happy that I found her I thought I'd never see her or talk to her again.[/QUOTE]

I recently stumbled upon the facebook of a couple of friends of mine back from primary school. I can pretty much guess how you felt haha. "Oh shiIIIEEt! Thats how he looks now?

[editline]8th December 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Metherat;43114987]I remember a friend telling me that you get over them, but you don't. You start up a new hobby, distract yourself, eventually find another person to love, but love never really does fade all the way. However, you can deal with the hurt. My friend says that when his fiancee left him he spent the entire day just hitting a tree with a metal baseball bat- by the end of the day, the baseball bat was implanted in the tree, stuck so far inside that he couldn't pry it out if he tried. That baseball bat was like the pain he felt- he couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried, it was there. However, he moved on- stopped focusing on that baseball bat, stopped focusing on the loss and pain and eventually, with time, that baseball bat started to rust and crumble. One day, it fell out of the tree, broken, rusted through. But it never really did completely break apart- it was there, but it didn't bother him anymore.[/QUOTE]

geez, he should write a poem about that

[NoDachi]

[I]Crawwwwwwwling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal~ [/I]

[Mikebot]

[QUOTE=Metherat;43114987]I remember a friend telling me that you get over them, but you don't. You start up a new hobby, distract yourself, eventually find another person to love, but love never really does fade all the way. However, you can deal with the hurt. My friend says that when his fiancee left him he spent the entire day just hitting a tree with a metal baseball bat- by the end of the day, the baseball bat was implanted in the tree, stuck so far inside that he couldn't pry it out if he tried. That baseball bat was like the pain he felt- he couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried, it was there. However, he moved on- stopped focusing on that baseball bat, stopped focusing on the loss and pain and eventually, with time, that baseball bat started to rust and crumble. One day, it fell out of the tree, broken, rusted through. But it never really did completely break apart- it was there, but it didn't bother him anymore.[/QUOTE]

that's fucking deep

[chinatown]

ask her out

[Paleman]

[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;43122650]okay then, sorry for getting grade A by not listening to your under-qualified computing teacher.

[editline]9th December 2013[/editline]

"but STATISTICALLY if your attendance is below 85% you're going to get 2 grades below your prediction"

well you already predicted me a B and I'm already getting A in mock, fuck you.[/QUOTE]

i kept chugging along til i was at 60% attendance before they kicked me out of my college, don't worry about it you're good for a while longer

[Jo The Shmo]

why don't you just hold back your ego for a second and go to class

[Flapadar]

[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;43122650]okay then, sorry for getting grade A by not listening to your under-qualified computing teacher.

[editline]9th December 2013[/editline]

"but STATISTICALLY if your attendance is below 85% you're going to get 2 grades below your prediction"

well you already predicted me a B and I'm already getting A in mock, fuck you.[/QUOTE]

My attendance has gone below 60% now after a meeting at 80% and I'm still getting A's (degree year CS).

Comp Sci is a great course.

[QUOTE=Jetpack Bear;43105492]How does one get over someone they love?

[editline]8th December 2013[/editline]

and that someone is someone you see every day[/QUOTE]

Find someone else

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;43124090]why don't you just hold back your ego for a second and go to class[/QUOTE]

When they timetable classes in a way that makes it near impossible to have a part time job it's not exactly ego causing it. E.g. I have 5 hour breaks between classes for no real reason : so I have to be in uni 9-10AM, back in at 3-4PM. As my job is part time (in the field of my degree) at a place that only does 9-5, that isn't any use - so I skip certain classes and go to work.

[Mr. Bleak]

The only reason that happens is because schools are afraid of losing some of their funding if you do happen to get a bad grade due to lack of attendance.

The way I see it, I'm paying for my classes, I should be able to decide if I need the lecture for this week or not. I'd probably still have this 99% in my history class even without the lectures, I just love history and wanted to go to all of them.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;43122650]okay then, sorry for getting grade A by not listening to your under-qualified computing teacher.

[editline]9th December 2013[/editline]

"but STATISTICALLY if your attendance is below 85% you're going to get 2 grades below your prediction"

well you already predicted me a B and I'm already getting A in mock, fuck you.[/QUOTE]

Lol "requesting" and "compulsory" don't go in the same sentence :v:
I also love that because you have low attendance they want you to skip out on a class early to talk about how your missing class :v:

Anyway yeah its cause of funding, the college I went to kept track of attendance (if you missed 3 of the same class they call a meeting thing) cause to get gov funding they have to prove the sold seats are being filled etc.

[Nerfed]

I've been online friends with a guy for some time now. I don't actively talk with him and I don't really initiate conversations, but I'm there whenever he wants to talk (I'm like this with most of my friends).
He's had some trouble with his girlfriend (now ex), who kept harassing him about his habits and interests (not mentioning those here, but I will say even I'm very open minded and tolerant, and even I'm shocked by the stuff he's into).

At some point they got into another fight, and she said some bad shit about me. We hadn't even met at that point, so I couldn't be bothered to give a damn, much less to be offended. I don't spend my time worrying about what people say behind my back, especially if I don't even know them.

Anyway, shortly after that (a month or two ago), she contacted me to say she's sorry for what she said and would like to get to know me. Fair enough, so I didn't hold anything against her and kept talking with her.

I'm still talking with the guy. Ever since they broke up, he's been going his own way, doing his thing, and he's happy. There's no room for her in his life anymore either; he's over her and moving on with someone else now. She, however, is still in that odd place where you both love and hate your ex as you're trying to get over them, and I tried helping her with that. Ever since we met, I've tried to just be a good friend to her, but it's not working; she keeps dragging herself down on others' opinions, but I don't see anything wrong with her, and I find the little habits she has (which she thinks are annoying habits) to be adorable. The main thing I tried to get through to her, is that her ex has moved on, and that she's just hurting herself in the long run by thinking so much about him, and she should just break contact with him and leave it at that (she already tried a few times without me telling her to, but she can't help contacting him again).

Either way, I started developing some feelings for her beyond friendship, and I didn't want to ruin the friendship by cropping it up and eventually letting it out in the wrong way or when it's too late. I discussed it with her a couple days ago; it was just the early stages of those feelings, so if it wasn't mutual I could still put a stop to it.. but it's mutual, and she wants to explore it as well. Years of rejection and insecurity have taught me how to keep myself under control, not to fall in love, etc.. But since that talk I let myself go, and it scares me how quickly and deeply I fell for her since. We've been getting a lot closer in the past few days, and I'm really happy about it.

So I can't help but wonder.. Am I in the wrong for letting it all develop like this (after all, she is a friend's ex), and is it all going too fast?

[RocketRacer]

So I went to lunch with this girl I like, and I feel really happy today. Now I'm definately going to look for her during lunch time. Not sure if she has got any interest in me but we kept talking all the time and laughing. shit, it feels good.

[IMoo]

There's this one girl that I like but I just learned she had a bf. Is it a dick move to get closer to her for the sole purpose of asking her out in the event she breaks up with her bf? I'm not gonna do it forever because I don't want to spend so much time on a fruitless effort, but I feel like its worth the wait for a couple of months

[wickedplayer494]

[QUOTE=IMoo;43141345]There's this one girl that I like but I just learned she had a bf. Is it a dick move to get closer to her for the sole purpose of asking her out in the event she breaks up with her bf? I'm not gonna do it forever because I don't want to spend so much time on a fruitless effort, but I feel like its worth the wait for a couple of months[/QUOTE]

Keep your distance.

[Nerfed]

[QUOTE=IMoo;43141345]There's this one girl that I like but I just learned she had a bf. Is it a dick move to get closer to her for the sole purpose of asking her out in the event she breaks up with her bf? I'm not gonna do it forever because I don't want to spend so much time on a fruitless effort, but I feel like its worth the wait for a couple of months[/QUOTE]

Just back off entirely, there's no way to win this.

[IMoo]

Alright, I'll just back off. Man, why do I always feel so confident about things I can't attain. First time I actually felt like I had the balls to ask a girl out. Oh well

[Doomevil]

Dude as much as I love to have a girlfriend, I just have deal with it seeing how that happened to me once. But learn from it, I just realized that pink-haired girl actually doesn't like me and I really don't give a damn anymore because I grew to accept failure.

You will find someone else. Don't worry.

[Raxas]

So a while back when I was going to a college away from home I tried to get involved with this girl. She was the quiet, distant type but I managed to get through to her and things started off pretty great. I had asked her out, nothing really happened on the date, and I wasn't sure where to go from there. Following attempts to ask her out were shot down because she was always busy (or maybe "busy" with quotations would be more accurate but that's assuming more than I'd like to), and towards the end of the second semester she just got super distant and unfamiliar before we both left the school. She had mentioned more than once that she wanted to switch schools to "find a place she fit it (or something like that anyway)". To this day I can't really tell you who, where, or how things went wrong.

This was all last year and I liked to think that I was over it all, but strangely enough I think "mostly over it" would be accurate. I have diagnosed anxiety disorders, but I've never had an attack tied to my involvement with her (within the past 6 months rather, and all attacks that were fueled by it in the past were also chiefly fueled by my more-pressing and demanding issues with school). To the point though, I've had a recurring dream- maybe a bit more than every other month, last occurrence being last night- where we end up meeting up again through irrelevant circumstances, and sort out our issues, discuss what happened, and just wrap things up between us. I don't recall the dreams ever involving reviving the romantic aspect, just closing it. I guess the meaning of the dreams are pretty fucking obvious (couldn't scream 'closure' any louder if it tried), but I find myself intrigued by the way the unresolved issue haunts me. On a conscious, up-front level, I could tell you that it's all behind me and that I don't really give a damn anymore, without a second though, and even I'd believe it. I've got bigger fish to fry than that shut-in. Only through these dreams, it seems, does it haunt me, like a ghost of a past life or some other poetic garbage.
I would certainly love to seek her out and get closure if it would put this sub-conscious ghost to rest. I know it would be futile though. The only method I have now to contact her is Steam chat, and that's hardly personal enough for a conversation like this. Plus, even if I could meet her in person again, it's likely I'd only get what I had gotten from her in my last few weeks of seeing her- silence, no eye-contact, and unfamiliar responses from a person I would otherwise think I had never met.

All things considered though, this is a ghost I can live with. Unlike some of the other issues I have, it's unobtrusive on my waking life, and causes me little discomfort other than a bit of wistfulness. I guess I mostly just wanted to get that out of my system and reflect a bit on it.

[Doomevil]

I hear you man, I've been dealing with this girl I talked to more than 2 years and almost did the same thing you did. Sometimes even when I work out, do my favorite hobbies, and find someone else. She still haunts me, it doesn't bother me anymore, but it makes me wonder what could happen if I wasn't such a outcast in Middle School.

[Nerfed]

[QUOTE=IMoo;43142305]Alright, I'll just back off. Man, why do I always feel so confident about things I can't attain. First time I actually felt like I had the balls to ask a girl out. Oh well[/QUOTE]

That's cool and all, but keep the confidence for someone else. There's just no good outcome.

- Remain or become friends;
You already have feelings for her that will get in the way. It would be difficult to be friends, without you being subconsciously overly kind to her (or unintentionally mean from trying not to be overly kind).
- Act now;
If she cheats with you or dumps someone for you, she [i]will[/i] do it to you as well.
- Wait for them to break up and act on it;
First of all you can't really tell if/when they'll break up, so you'll just get frustrated waiting for it. Second, you'll be a cunt for preying on her when she's weak. You may actually end up in a relationship, but there's a good chance someone (especially her) will figure you out and it'll all backfire.

The only thing you can really do is wait and be yourself, and see if she approaches you instead. Just don't have any expectations.

[JoeyYODA]

SNIP

[Mr. Bleak]

If she feels that way, then it'd do you more harm than good to try and stay in the relationship honestly.

I mean, unless you've been together for a very long time and have a very good idea of how to get that spark back, there's not much hope to be perfectly honest. It's better to be in no relationship at all than a onesided one.

[editline]11th December 2013[/editline]

On another note, that girl I was having issues with and was super hung up on texted me and apologized today for being such a bitch the last time we hung out. I mean, she also asked me to help her write a 6 page essay final for one of her classes, but if there's anything I've learned in the past few months is to not get walked on.

Today was great. I'm now on my month long winter break. Maybe I'll get a date with someone what with all my free time now.

[Slowbro]

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. I feel like nothing in my life is ever going to change. I didn't even bother getting out of bed for uni today because I knew today was just going to be exactly the same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I have nothing to do and no-one to do it with. My life is stagnant, monotonous and dull and I'm starting to get tired of living it.

Dunno why I'm posting this, I just need to vent I guess.