• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Slowbro;43145995]I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. I feel like nothing in my life is ever going to change. I didn't even bother getting out of bed for uni today because I knew today was just going to be exactly the same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I have nothing to do and no-one to do it with. My life is stagnant, monotonous and dull and I'm starting to get tired of living it. Dunno why I'm posting this, I just need to vent I guess.[/QUOTE] I've had that feeling before when I was unemployed. You need to spice your life up, change something. Do something exciting. Put your mind on something else than studies. If you have the money, you could always go out and meet some new friends.
[QUOTE=Slowbro;43145995]I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. I feel like nothing in my life is ever going to change. I didn't even bother getting out of bed for uni today because I knew today was just going to be exactly the same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I have nothing to do and no-one to do it with. My life is stagnant, monotonous and dull and I'm starting to get tired of living it. Dunno why I'm posting this, I just need to vent I guess.[/QUOTE] I basically feel the same way. I've been living with extreme chronic fatigue for about 7 years now. I can't go to school or get a job. I have lost all of my friends. I spend my days alone in my room with nothing to do, no energy to do anything and no one to talk to. My life has been like this for years now and having a monotonous and dull life sure gets depressing after a while... I know it's hard to stay hopeful that things will get better, but I guess you just gotta hang in there. Hopefully you'll start to feel better soon.
Hey guys just broke up with my girlfriend of only 4 months. She still wants to be friends but insists that her ex army boyfriend has that spark which I apparently don't have. When she talked about him she told me about how he would do the most horrible of stuff and be an utter cunt to her including apparently pretending that he'd cheated on her 7 times. Everything was going great and we even planned to move into a house when she comes to uni next year but the other day she told me she wants to live in halls and then the next that she doesn't want to be with me. I'm seeing her again for the last time on Monday, does anyone have any idea how I can convince her to give me some more time and to try and get over her ex who doesn't deserve her. Thanks :)
[QUOTE=JoeyYODA;43159894]Hey guys just broke up with my girlfriend of only 4 months. She still wants to be friends but insists that her ex army boyfriend has that spark which I apparently don't have. When she talked about him she told me about how he would do the most horrible of stuff and be an utter cunt to her including apparently pretending that he'd cheated on her 7 times. Everything was going great and we even planned to move into a house when she comes to uni next year but the other day she told me she wants to live in halls and then the next that she doesn't want to be with me. I'm seeing her again for the last time on Monday, does anyone have any idea how I can convince her to give me some more time and to try and get over her ex who doesn't deserve her. Thanks :)[/QUOTE] She said she'd rather be with her horrible ex. Based on what you've told us she doesn't sound like shes worth it, let the relationship end.
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;43160049]She said she'd rather be with her horrible ex. Based on what you've told us she doesn't sound like shes worth it, let the relationship end.[/QUOTE] She said she's confused and still feels something for him, she is worth it, she's just not always there with her decisions.
[QUOTE=JoeyYODA;43160074]She said she's confused and still feels something for him, she is worth it, she's just not always there with her decisions.[/QUOTE] You know, she might just not be all that, it's unfortunately common to put someone on a pedestal. From what I can gather, she's probably not the kind of girl you'd want to be with in the long term, this was probably the best course of action for you.
[QUOTE=JoeyYODA;43159894]Hey guys just broke up with my girlfriend of only 4 months. She still wants to be friends but insists that her ex army boyfriend has that spark which I apparently don't have. When she talked about him she told me about how he would do the most horrible of stuff and be an utter cunt to her including apparently pretending that he'd cheated on her 7 times. Everything was going great and we even planned to move into a house when she comes to uni next year but the other day she told me she wants to live in halls and then the next that she doesn't want to be with me. I'm seeing her again for the last time on Monday, does anyone have any idea how I can convince her to give me some more time and to try and get over her ex who doesn't deserve her. Thanks :)[/QUOTE] Not to come off as rude, but you need to learn some self respect. Someone who treats your relationship like a game isn't someone you're going to want to be with long-term. A good partner will treat you and your emotions with respect.
so uhh friend of my best friend has recently taken a big interest in me 0 really enjoyed a lot of that attention and have been playing it up a lot, and, well, it's really becoming apparent she's got twice the interest in me than I do full disclosure : I'm a piece of shit for not stopping this earlier but I do kind of need advice She's fun and jovial and I don't mind spending time with her but I don't think she's someone I could be in a relationship with. She... I don't want to say seems simple or anything, but I feel we have no common interests. I'm the guy who asks advice on video game forums. she's bouncy and excitable so god knows why I'm intriguing. I asked the friend I met her through and her advice was to "try and make a connection" which I feel isn't helpful. I don't know. Worth a shot? I do like her. Enough to spend time with her. I do have fun, but I don't know if I could do anything more serious. Moreso than anything I think "I" is the imperative word there. I don't know.
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;43165098]so uhh being the shitlord that I am [/QUOTE][QUOTE] I'm a piece of shit [/QUOTE][QUOTE] I'm a depressed nerd [/QUOTE][QUOTE] I don't know. I'm poor and awkward. I doubt I'd be any good.[/QUOTE] You should stop this. It isn't doing you or anyone else any favours. We're not going to feel sorry for you or empathize with you if you talk shit about yourself.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;43165452]You should stop this. It isn't doing you or anyone else any favours. We're not going to feel sorry for you or empathize with you if you talk shit about yourself.[/QUOTE] Fair enough. I wasn't looking for empathy though, just advice.
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;43165569]Fair enough. I wasn't looking for empathy though, just advice.[/QUOTE] Ah, np. Sorry I was a bit harsh :( If you don't think she's right for you, and you think its a bad idea, I would think its a bad idea to get into something. If you think it might work, and you'd be interested in trying, and you like her, it might be worth a shot.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;43165661]Ah, np. Sorry I was a bit harsh :( If you don't think she's right for you, and you think its a bad idea, I would think its a bad idea to get into something. If you think it might work, and you'd be interested in trying, and you like her, it might be worth a shot.[/QUOTE] Only a canadian would apologize to that statement. We are truly brothers in syrup. That's the thing though. I do sort of like her. Obviously enough to spend time with her. But I don't know. Like I said, my friend keeps telling me that it's unfair to judge her without making a more personal connection, but I don't know if there's one to be had. I might be stressing too much. One part of me just wants to have fun, while the other part of me is worried about hurting her if things don't go right.
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;43165796]Only a canadian would apologize to that statement. We are truly brothers in syrup. That's the thing though. I do sort of like her. Obviously enough to spend time with her. But I don't know. Like I said, my friend keeps telling me that it's unfair to judge her without making a more personal connection, but I don't know if there's one to be had. I might be stressing too much. One part of me just wants to have fun, while the other part of me is worried about hurting her if things don't go right.[/QUOTE] If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I remember when I was in high school, dating=relationship, but it certainly isn't the case as you get older. Another question, how much one on one time have you spent with her?
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;43165796]Only a canadian would apologize to that statement. We are truly brothers in syrup. That's the thing though. I do sort of like her. Obviously enough to spend time with her. But I don't know. Like I said, my friend keeps telling me that it's unfair to judge her without making a more personal connection, but I don't know if there's one to be had. I might be stressing too much. One part of me just wants to have fun, while the other part of me is worried about hurting her if things don't go right.[/QUOTE] Weirdly enough I came into this thread with the intention of posting about a very similar situation. In my situation, the girl in question has been a friend of mine for a [i]long[/i] time. We've known each other since the third grade, and to date haven't had anything resembling any tension or falling outs. It's been a pretty consistent thing but recently, I can't help but feel she's putting off signals, you know? It's not always specific. She's definitely become [i]super[/i] comfortable with closeness and intimacy, and much more confidant in me. I can't really complain about that, since, as one of my closest friends, I like helping her out with her stress issues, especially since listening is the easiest and most important part, nor do I mind the intimacy (for reference, hugs a lot and gets close when sitting together), since she's cute (also dat booty whoa nelly) and sweet and I don't really have an abundance of female intimacy in my life. But I dunno how a relationship would work out between us. A big part of that is because I'm agnostic and pretty relaxed about sexuality (free love and whatnot), and she's had a catholic upbringing. She's not hugely religious, but she's still into the traditional family ideas, with abstinence and all that. I can't help but feel that the minute a "relationship" dynamic formed we would start pulling in two completely different directions. Aside from all that, she's going to a different university, so we don't see each other in person enough to sustain something like that. So yeah, I'm in a similar boat here. I'd love to start something with her because she's cute and we know each other from top to bottom and we get along super well, but I can't help but feel it'd be doomed to end up hurting her in the end. Though if she is crushing on me, I can't tell if it would be worse to ignore the signals, either.
I had a mad crush on a girl a few years ago and was absolutely torn when I learned that she was actually two years older than me, and that she would be graduating highschool soon and I would only spend two more years around her. I dunno what the hell was going on, it was probably my hormones cause I was 14 and shit, but it all developed within a week which was kind of weird since I was indifferent to her in the past.
[QUOTE=LaughingStock;43167529]I had a mad crush on a girl a few years ago and was absolutely torn when I learned that she was actually two years older than me, and that she would be graduating highschool soon and I would only spend two more years around her. I dunno what the hell was going on, it was probably my hormones cause I was 14 and shit, but it all developed within a week which was kind of weird since I was indifferent to her in the past.[/QUOTE] what's wrong with a 2 year difference? my bf in high school was 2 years older than me, we dated until he was 20. people exist outside of school too [editline]13th December 2013[/editline] then again i guess not everyone starts in community college
Sort of a silly question, but how do I start getting in to conversation with someone over Facebook that I really don't talk to? There has been this one girl that I knew (was someone's sister) of which we added ourselves on Facebook, because that was the cool thing to do during high school; add everyone you know. I had a little bit of a crush on her since then, but never really cared. Now since I've been becoming an independent adult, I've been wanting to start developing a relationship with someone, and well let's say she has been on my mind for quite awhile. From what it appears, we have a lot of the same common interests and she looks to be witty and funny. Really the only time I have talked to her is when I see her working, and I ask how her deadbeat brother (who was my friend) is doing. Is there a way to initiate small talk online without showing my crush or anything?
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;43166001]If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I remember when I was in high school, dating=relationship, but it certainly isn't the case as you get older. Another question, how much one on one time have you spent with her?[/QUOTE] I'm in my senior year. I'm 18. As for one time, full days and stuff. I don't know how to phrase that better but in general spending most of the day together. Once people sleep I go home./
[QUOTE=BackSapper;43168386]Sort of a silly question, but how do I start getting in to conversation with someone over Facebook that I really don't talk to? There has been this one girl that I knew (was someone's sister) of which we added ourselves on Facebook, because that was the cool thing to do during high school; add everyone you know. I had a little bit of a crush on her since then, but never really cared. Now since I've been becoming an independent adult, I've been wanting to start developing a relationship with someone, and well let's say she has been on my mind for quite awhile. From what it appears, we have a lot of the same common interests and she looks to be witty and funny. Really the only time I have talked to her is when I see her working, and I ask how her deadbeat brother (who was my friend) is doing. Is there a way to initiate small talk online without showing my crush or anything?[/QUOTE] "hey, how's it going?" and then catch up. Some of you guys seem to act like it's rocket science having a conversation with someone on Facebook, almost exclusively because they're a girl/you're interested in them. It's really not that hard, and it's not weird just randomly messaging someone.
[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43170803] Some of you guys seem to act like it's rocket science having a conversation with someone on Facebook, almost exclusively because they're a girl/you're interested in them. It's really not that hard, and it's not weird just randomly messaging someone.[/QUOTE] To be fair, it is incredibly easy to fall into that mindset. When I'm about to message someone I never talk to normally, I imagine what it must be like on their end to receive the message, start thinking the worst and eventually just give up on pressing that send button. It sounds super easy to just message someone but I don't know why myself and others have such a hard time doing it.
I've never posted in this thread before so i suppose i should start because i need to clear my mind Me and My best friend were toxic, we're not anymore By toxic I mean, we insulted each other constantly and every time we met up we just hit each other, I was constantly a prick to her and she was hiding things from me though we told each other we loved each other in a friendly way One night I said to her bluntly I don't love you like I used to anymore and it got sadder and I could tell that had a huge ripple effect She said the same thing 2 weeks later and I tried fighting for my ground forgetting that I started this all, then she said she wanted a friendship break because she felt uncomfortable and I did too, but she kept speaking to me and I never started a conversation She was telling me about her Ex boyfriend and I said to her "He doesn't love you anymore, get the fuck over it" and it caused a huge war to break out, I said some pretty harmful shit and so did she, I told her this friendship cannot last and I ended it Literally the day after, word breaks out at school and I'm hailed a hero for insulting my best friend of 2 years, it was sickening I guess Anyway a month later, she adds me back on Facebook and both of us apologize, and we had a 1 or 2 hour phone call i forgot how long it was and i really did miss her, i feel like it isn't toxic anymore i mean i feel we both changed, idk why i am telling you guys this but i just feel happy at how things went and I may of not dealt with it the best way but i just feel happy now I'm yet to see her in person again, but i feel everything sorted itself out
[QUOTE=FunkyDarkKnight;43170949]To be fair, it is incredibly easy to fall into that mindset. When I'm about to message someone I never talk to normally, I imagine what it must be like on their end to receive the message, start thinking the worst and eventually just give up on pressing that send button. It sounds super easy to just message someone but I don't know why myself and others have such a hard time doing it.[/QUOTE] But thats the mindset you should have? Like, just write something, and hit enter. If you start getting nervous and shit, thats your fault, because youre overthinking
[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43170803]"hey, how's it going?" and then catch up. Some of you guys seem to act like it's rocket science having a conversation with someone on Facebook, almost exclusively because they're a girl/you're interested in them. It's really not that hard, and it's not weird just randomly messaging someone.[/QUOTE] I guess it could be that whole "high school" mentality still existing. Shes younger, but not by that much as compared to me. I'll see.
I used to be the same way. "Oh know, what if she thinks I'm weird for messaging her out of the blue? Oh no, what if she doesn't care and doesn't want to talk?" And now it's just like lol why should I give a fuck if one person does or doesn't want to talk to me? I know I'd be delighted to get a message out of the blue from someone because it means they're thinking about me. I honestly think it's even less of an issue with younger people. A friend of my younger cousin added me on Facebook last week, some friend-whore freshman in high school. The entire conversation consisted of subtle sarcasm and poking fun because, really, why would I care at all what some young girl that I don't know has to say? It may be mistaken for a superiority complex, but it's more the fact that I've discovered in going out of my way for everyone that you're not really any better off. Sure, I'll initiate conversation with people, but I don't go out of my way until I get to a stage where we're mutually beneficial to each other. The one person that can get me out of bed, ready in 10 minutes, and across town just to give them a ride to the store is my best friend, and that's only because I know she'd do the same thing for me. The trick is to treat any possible relationship or even friendship as vastly unimportant in regards to the bigger picture. So what if this person doesn't end up becoming your soul mate or your best friend, it's one opportunity out of thousands (providing you aren't some social retarded shut in) that won't matter in the long run unless it's [i]meant to matter[/i]
If you had a brother you never met from a mom who abandoned you when you were thirteen, would you ever reach out to him?
is this a comparison to the case above or is this something of your own? Because if its a comparison, its a pretty weird one
[QUOTE=D3TBS;43172467]is this a comparison to the case above or is this something of your own? Because if its a comparison, its a pretty weird one[/QUOTE] Nope, all me. Judging from his age, the reason she left was that she was pregnant with him. He's still just a kid, but I'm wondering if it would ever be appropriate to talk to him, once he's gotten a bit older. [editline]13th December 2013[/editline] It's just weird knowing that this kid is the reason I don't have a mom anymore. I don't blame him for it, Cheryl made her own decisions, but I'd at least like to talk to him someday. Just to ask about his life. It might be better to just let it lie, though. What do you think?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;43172479]Nope, all me. Judging from his age, the reason she left was that she was pregnant with him. He's still just a kid, but I'm wondering if it would ever be appropriate to talk to him, once he's gotten a bit older. [editline]13th December 2013[/editline] It's just weird knowing that this kid is the reason I don't have a mom anymore. I don't blame him for it, Cheryl made her own decisions, but I'd at least like to talk to him someday. Just to ask about his life. It might be better to just let it lie, though. What do you think?[/QUOTE] It would be better to do it younger rather than older if you wanted to. I'll make an analogy to being adopted, since that is my own experience and is similar in ways. I was told when I was quite young that I was adopted, as was my sister. I grew up knowing that from an age where the concept didnt bother me and I wouldnt think about it much so it wasnt a shock or anything. One of my adoptive mothers friends didn't tell her kids until they were much older, adults at an age where she figured they could deal with it properly etc. It hit them hard and they both ostracized her entirely, they felt she had lied to them etc. Coming to him once he is older and saying "hey i'm your brother" could be the same sort of thing. People when they are older generally arn't accepting of changes like that. It might be easier to introduce yourself when he's younger.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;43172621]It would be better to do it younger rather than older if you wanted to. I'll make an analogy to being adopted, since that is my own experience and is similar in ways. I was told when I was quite young that I was adopted, as was my sister. I grew up knowing that from an age where the concept didnt bother me and I wouldnt think about it much so it wasnt a shock or anything. One of my adoptive mothers friends didn't tell her kids until they were much older, adults at an age where she figured they could deal with it properly etc. It hit them hard and they both ostracized her entirely, they felt she had lied to them etc. Coming to him once he is older and saying "hey i'm your brother" could be the same sort of thing. People when they are older generally arn't accepting of changes like that. It might be easier to introduce yourself when he's younger.[/QUOTE] If the timeline matches up, he's only about nine. I'm not sure he'd even understand the situation, and reaching out to a kid that young, while I'm basically a full-grown adult, just doesn't feel appropriate. It's a weird situation, and I'm not sure if [I]any[/I] time would really be appropriate, but I think I'd feel a bit better waiting until he's at least into his early teens, don't you think? I mean, on a general level, it seems a bit creepy/weird for a 22 year old stranger to be sending a message to a 9-year-old, family ties or no. I don't want to be unpleasant to him, or even to mom, but I want to know what their life has been like, and I most certainly don't want to talk to mom about it.
do you still talk to your mom?
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