Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT - General - Facepunch Forum

Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

11,088 replies, posted
In This Thread

[QUOTE=ManningQB18;43221756]That was sort of the original situation, but I think I explained incorrectly. I agreed to the relationship not just because I know she's in a precarious emotional position, but because I do have legitimate feelings for her. I think I'd rather be in a full relationship with her than a half relationship with both. My biggest concern is having to choose if neither of them warrant a breakup in the next 6 months. My friend group at home (containing M) is completely separate from D's, so secrecy shouldn't be an issue unless either M or I fuck up [I][B]hard[/B][/I]. M knows the situation decently well, so that shouldn't be an issue.[/QUOTE] First of all I think you should break up properly with D, I don't think it's fair that she might think you two kinda maybe sorta have a thing, so definitely sort that out first of all.

Snip - Stop stalking me Daniel

[QUOTE=I Fail At Lua;43228118]So there is this girl at college that I have a crush on, we hangout in-between classes everyday and talk. We actually went out to lunch last week and I got her number(she took a picture of me and wanted me to set it as my Facebook profile picture :v:), we also went out to lunch this past Monday.She's really friendly to everyone so I'm not sure if she considers me as just a friend or thinks of me as more than that. It seems that she has quite a few guy friends and she's told me on multiple occasions about guys hitting on her and giving her their number, and it makes me hesitant ( if she was into me at all would she really tell me about how a bunch of guys are trying to take her out?). It's also really obvious from the few things I've seen, that her guy friends are into her. She does laugh at my jokes all the time and she touches me every now and then so it seems like she likes me, but again I'm not sure if shes just being overly friendly and I'm misinterpreting her friendliness for liking me. I feel like I'm really over complicating things like I usually do. What should I do? Next semester we have the exact same schedule, everyday 5 days a week so I don't want to make things awkward.[/QUOTE] [img]http://i.imgur.com/JWALn2d.png[/img]

SNIP - Stop Stalking me Daniel.

So me and this girl who lives nearly an hour away from me had been going out for around 3 months, I knew she had come out of a previous relationship which she left after a year and a half because he was in the army and generally not great to her. She was working before coming to the uni I am currently at and she worked odd times in the week and such which we had to fit around her coming to mine and staying for a while before going back to her parents so she could work. It was all going well and at times she would talk about her ex and compare him to me making me to be the more positive one. Up until last week she told me in the early hours of the morning that she'd been up all night and that she wanted to come see me straight away (she was due to come see me at about 11am anyway). When she got to mine, she told me that she couldn't continue and that her ex recently asked for her back (she originally dumped him, but then changed her mind. However he told her he was over her so they didn't get back together) and that she was going to get back with him. Everyone including her friends told her it wasn't the best idea and to be fair she wasn't a great decision maker, I used to have to help her see different sides to her decisions. Anyway it went ahead and a few days later they were back together as he was back for Christmas (he lives in the same town as her). I always trusted her and we never kept secrets, her reason for breaking up is that we were too similar and that we didn't have that spark that she remembered having with her ex, but she felt so terrible breaking up with me because she went through it before and that she wanted to stay friends because we had so much in common (her ex by the way has just about nothing in common with her, she's more of a geeky socially awkward girl and he's an army guy). It was so odd going from being as open as you can get with each other to "friends" and for the past week have felt extremely alone and every now and then been texting her and having a chat. We met up the other day to talk stuff over and she was happy that we got on well as friends but that was it really, she got her stuff and left. I'm not even joking when I say she was perfect for me, it's so painful to come to terms with her wanting her old relationship back. I know the saying goes if I really love her I will want her to be happy whatever, but I really wanted to make her happy and not have to deal with his shit.

[QUOTE=I Fail At Lua;43229126]You're right, I just need to man up I guess. What's a good way to ask her out would 'Hey, are you free this weekend? I was thinking maybe we could go out and see a movie and then catch some dinner aftwards?' work alright?[/QUOTE] yes that is basically perfect

SNIP

[QUOTE=JakeAM;43229182]So me and this girl who lives nearly an hour away from me had been going out for around 3 months, I knew she had come out of a previous relationship which she left after a year and a half because he was in the army and generally not great to her. She was working before coming to the uni I am currently at and she worked odd times in the week and such which we had to fit around her coming to mine and staying for a while before going back to her parents so she could work. It was all going well and at times she would talk about her ex and compare him to me making me to be the more positive one. Up until last week she told me in the early hours of the morning that she'd been up all night and that she wanted to come see me straight away (she was due to come see me at about 11am anyway). When she got to mine, she told me that she couldn't continue and that her ex recently asked for her back (she originally dumped him, but then changed her mind. However he told her he was over her so they didn't get back together) and that she was going to get back with him. Everyone including her friends told her it wasn't the best idea and to be fair she wasn't a great decision maker, I used to have to help her see different sides to her decisions. Anyway it went ahead and a few days later they were back together as he was back for Christmas (he lives in the same town as her). I always trusted her and we never kept secrets, her reason for breaking up is that we were too similar and that we didn't have that spark that she remembered having with her ex, but she felt so terrible breaking up with me because she went through it before and that she wanted to stay friends because we had so much in common (her ex by the way has just about nothing in common with her, she's more of a geeky socially awkward girl and he's an army guy). It was so odd going from being as open as you can get with each other to "friends" and for the past week have felt extremely alone and every now and then been texting her and having a chat. We met up the other day to talk stuff over and she was happy that we got on well as friends but that was it really, she got her stuff and left. I'm not even joking when I say she was perfect for me, it's so painful to come to terms with her wanting her old relationship back. I know the saying goes if I really love her I will want her to be happy whatever, but I really wanted to make her happy and not have to deal with his shit.[/QUOTE] Man, that's rough. At least she was straightforward and honest about everything. But it's a pretty bitch move pursuing another relationship with the intent or even the possibility of getting back with an ex in the near future. You're better off without someone that isn't going to respect you as a person.

[QUOTE=I Fail At Lua;43229346]Alright cool. It would probably be best to do this in person rather than text her that right?[/QUOTE] yes

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43230316]Man, that's rough. At least she was straightforward and honest about everything. But it's a pretty bitch move pursuing another relationship with the intent or even the possibility of getting back with an ex in the near future. You're better off without someone that isn't going to respect you as a person.[/QUOTE] At first she hated him, but I know first hand those feelings are hard to get rid of and that you kid yourself you hate that person but you can't deny it forever. It's just so difficult, when people tick all your boxes and then make a silly mistake.

While that may be true, you should definitely wait until you're over someone before getting into another serious relationship. I made that mistake after my last ex, but thankfully the person I was trying to get with realized it and talked it out with me. It's really not fair to people playing them like that, intentional or otherwise. I've had it happen a few times and I certainly do not mince words when confronting someone about it anymore. It's easier that way, getting it over with.

Been dating this girl for a good six or eight weeks now. We've been meeting regularly at least a couple times a week, spending time at each other's houses, talking online a lot, that kind of thing. I'm definitely into her, and I honestly believe there is a reasonable chance that she's into me. We're both pretty reserved people, so how do I indicate (in a civilized fashion) that I'm very interested in progressing the relationship to the next level? I don't think she's dated much (or at all, maybe) in her life, so I'm pretty sure that it's on me to make anything happen. I don't want to be a pushy douchebag, just make it clearer what I'm looking for here. Advice? I've stalled out at this stage before in my life and it doesn't seem to end well.

How do I talk to her? She's online right now. She's always talked to me but I only started a conversation like once and it was to see the outcome of a favor I did to her cause she was in a little bit of a pinch. She's outright told me where she's going and has invited me twice to places I didn't go because: one I wasn't interested into in comparation to another place I picked that night and I invited her to and she never went(I know, dumb. Right? Or at least that let me play hard-to-get somewhat instead of goopy follow-around slave.) and two, second place had a very steep entry fee. I just don't know how to start a conversation. We already snuggled while I taught her some stuff for her english exam, we talked fervently about Breaking Bad at 5AM while going to buy munchies just us two (we love breaking bad and the entire goddamn production), I just don't know what to do, I've been failing to be assertive my entire life and it's killing me. I'm kinda-sure she's into me (it's the kinda that's killing me) and I'm into her but I don't want to get crazy about cause it's ruined many of my previous attempts on different girls. If I fall in love, I get fucking insane because it's bound to fail and depress me for like two weeks or more where I don't move from my room, don't shave, don't eat, and just sit down playing shitty games instead of getting out there. Ask me more stuff and I'll answer. Also... She's beautiful. Like, I didn't expect someone so... produced and nice-looking to be into me... I have to stop typing about this or I'll go crazy. [b]edit[/b]: wow thanks for all the answers guys!!!!!!!!!! real advice here

So I'm back, last night I got shit stupid hammered and told the girl with a boyfriend exactly how I felt I said "You won't leave your cock goblin boyfriend because you've known me for a "Short time" but you want to fuck this weekend? I don't fucking get it." she went on to tell me that she wished things were different and that she wished I had come along earlier in life, I've been getting FUCKED UP every day of the week and she keeps saying "I wish you would slow down a little." and shit like that, but then when I told her I'm going to the navy she freaked out on me and was just like "No what if I change my mind" and I told her straight up "You have until next fucking month to decide". I feel like that I came off a little harsh... should I say sorry? Or do I just ignore it?

That almost sounds like a recipe for a desaster.

I just don't know what to do, like she keeps stringing me along and I'm really about to lose it and just say "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU" and give her the bird and go off to bootcamp. But the sad part is I don't want to do that, I'd love to have a relationship with her.

Not sure the timelimit type thing was a great move, but honestly she does need to know she cant just play you around like that. You have your own life to live you cant be waiting for her the whole time.

Well the reason for the time limit was if she doesn't do something before January 26th then I'm going to bootcamp, the 26th is when I go to MEPS

SNIP - Stop stalking me Daniel

[QUOTE=S33T;43237446]Well the reason for the time limit was if she doesn't do something before January 26th then I'm going to bootcamp, the 26th is when I go to MEPS[/QUOTE] This is harsh and is good. I mean, I can bet she will choose you in that situation.

You probably came across as a bit too harsh, but I think thats what you should have done and you did it well. Maybe not while being drunk, but kind of just giving her an ultimatum makes you look really confident and like you dont really give a fuck about her decision, so shes more pressure into taking action. But then again, depends on how drunk you were.

Is okcupid an decent site to meet people? I haven't been in a relationship since my freshman year of highschool and my town doesn't really have any hang out spots other than bars and clubs where old bikers go to, so I mainly just bike or skate around after work in hopes of striking up random conversations. Everyone around here always seems so busy and up-and-moving though so I can't really find people to chill out and chat with, though I guess that's partly my fault because I'm somewhat passive and usually wait for people to talk to me before I talk to them.

then go talk to them. yeah okc is ok, c? [editline]19th December 2013[/editline] and this pun was bad, ba d?

Aghhhhhh, I've really liked this girl for 5 years now and she knows it, unfortunately she does not reciprocate, I used to feel like fucking shit for it in the first year but got used to the idea and had accepted it until this week, for some reason this week, after like 4 years, it just came back at me like a fucking wrecking ball for no real reason, I'm feeling like absolute shit. Since I have no friends and nothing like a family either except for her, I have nobody to confide in, I've told her of my worries already but she keeps saying she can't do anything for me as she simply doesn't feel that way which is fine and all, I can't force something but I'm lost and have no clue how to deal with it right now and why the feelings came back for no reason so fucking strong. What do, literally feeling like death, got no appetite and can't sleep.

Wait it out if it continues, see a doctor after 5 years you probably shouldn't be feeling like that

go meet other people. Either go to a party with a friend and meet other people, or just talk to someone outside, or enroll in some group classes or whatever, theres tons of possibilities

[QUOTE=Heigou;43242936]Aghhhhhh, I've really liked this girl for 5 years now and she knows it, unfortunately she does not reciprocate, I used to feel like fucking shit for it in the first year but got used to the idea and had accepted it until this week, for some reason this week, after like 4 years, it just came back at me like a fucking wrecking ball for no real reason, I'm feeling like absolute shit. Since I have no friends and nothing like a family either except for her, I have nobody to confide in, I've told her of my worries already but she keeps saying she can't do anything for me as she simply doesn't feel that way which is fine and all, I can't force something but I'm lost and have no clue how to deal with it right now and why the feelings came back for no reason so fucking strong. What do, literally feeling like death, got no appetite and can't sleep.[/QUOTE] You may want to consider the possibility that there's something else causing your grief. 5 years is a very long time to be emotional about something like that and it's odd that those feelings would suddenly show up again. It may be that you have other sources for your emotions (it could be something as simple as physical health) that you're misattributing to your situation with the girl. I get episodes like that a lot where I feel incredibly upset about something from my past and more often than not there's some reason for it, like I haven't gotten outside much in the past few days or I haven't been eating enough.

I think it might indeed do something with the "no friends and nothing like a family" part, because it sounds a lot like what I had. Except it was 4 years instead of 5 in my case. Because being alone kinda sucks. A lot. And I don't mean alone as "single", but literally alone.

I found some cool dudes that I can talk to about chicks I like and stuff and it made me feel a lot better.

When I talk about girls with my friends it always sounds like this: "A big bouncy ass that wobbles after each thrust is perfect", "No! Tits tits tis", "Ass ass ass" etc.

Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.