Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43257478]It's just that when I was younger I used to be even worse and I made shitty little animations, and instead of constructive criticism I got lots of hate.
That was a long time ago but I am not used to getting actually useful constructive criticism so it makes feel uncomfortable. I am trying to chance my attitude but it would take time.[/QUOTE]

Dude, you cant let some comments about this or that drag you down. This is a mistake a lot of new people make when given criticism, they take it personally. And its not personal, its just about your work.

I remember when I first came here, I had a small brand of t-shirt designs that I was working on part time outside school as a hobby. It was my first time doing such a thing and it was the first time I was using Illustrator. I had already shown my stuff to my friends and family, and to this forum I used to go to. And everybody was giving me good feedback and how I should keep going. Even my arts teacher, maybe he just wanted to encourage me to keep doing what I liked.

So I joined facepunch to show my shirts (yes it was my main reason, to spam the shit out of this place). I went to the Creationism corner and made a thread for my shirts and waited for the compliments. But guess what, even though there were some users that liked them, a couple of them started giving criticism, and how foolish I was, I started talking back and trying to defend my work. In the end we argued for a couple of pages, and I gave up. I couldn't argue anymore, I was depressed and I just gave up. Those werent good days but after a while I decided that I wasn't just going to give up. Instead I took the advice, and started another project from scratch, that I kind of keep doing it until today.

So maybe you start a hobby and it goes slowly wrong. You can just throw the towel and go be a pussy about it, or you can try it again. Everybody can get there, and it's not about talent or gift, its about who put more time into something and was the most persistent. People now ask me all the time how Im so good working on Illustrator, since we have to use it in our university, and I just say "Oh, Ive been working with it for years", because I didnt give up, I kept going and its been 4 years or more now since I started.

We can write anything you want to hear, but in the end youre the one that makes the decision. To just pity yourself, make excuses and play the victim, or to get off your ass and just do what you really want to do.

[Tin Can™]

Question, I went to a christmas party at college where I caught notice of a classmate flirting pretty intensively with me from about a meter or two away while mingling. I flirted back a bit as best I could as she was doing it and glancing at me every now and then, we didn't talk though.

I don't really know her that well and we haven't talked much other than in groups of people chatting during breaks.

I wanted to ask for you more experienced peoples opinions if messaging her up on Facebook with something like [I]"Hey I certainly picked up on your flirting the other night. I'd really like to get to know you. Do you have any plans for New Years?"[/I]
Or is "calling her out" on the flirting not a good idea. I want to make my intentions as clear as I can though

[Dysentery]

you don't need to call her out on her flirting. your intentions will be perfectly clear if you just ask her out directly without all the added comments

[chinatown]

Well firstly Id talk to her in person and not in facebook. Secondly Id talk to her right in the moment and not a day later as its not as "in the moment". And thirdly Id call it out, but not like "haha you slut why were you flirting with me" but more in a sexy charming way to make it sound like she was really chasing you

[Rossy167]

I used to be friends with this girl and for a few different around reasons we just sort of stopped talking, she's really shy and (of course) I am a social half wit. We go to the same school so it's not like we don't see each other around, but now (one of the reasons) we're in completely different friend groups and (another) not in a single lesson with each other. I know you don't need a reason to just go up to some and say 'hi' but I just feel really awkward and wouldn't know what to say and to be honest often struggle talking to people.

She's been on my mind lately, I don't think I've got a crush on her or anything I just sort of miss being friends. I have no idea how to approach this and I'm not on any of those social networking sites (although I don't think she is either), I think I may have her number from ages ago though.

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43261328]Well firstly Id talk to her in person and not in facebook. Secondly Id talk to her right in the moment and not a day later as its not as "in the moment". And thirdly Id call it out, but not like "haha you slut why were you flirting with me" but more in a sexy charming way to make it sound like she was really chasing you[/QUOTE]

Due to holidays it's not really an option to talk to her in person until January when the next term starts, that's why I'm considering Facebook

My mind sortof went blank "in the moment" just glancing at her flaunting herself, while waiting in line to be let into the dinner buffét :v:

[chinatown]

I know I know, that stuff happens, but still it would be better if it didn't

heres some inspiration even if its a little cheesy

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs[/media]

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=VaSTinY;43261410]Due to holidays it's not really an option to talk to her in person until January when the next term starts, that's why I'm considering Facebook

My mind sortof went blank "in the moment" just glancing at her flaunting herself, while waiting in line to be let into the dinner buffét :v:[/QUOTE]

if it's on facebook just be like ";) wanna fuck"

not straight up like that but you know what i mean

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=VaSTinY;43261245]Question, I went to a christmas party at college where I caught notice of a classmate flirting pretty intensively with me from about a meter or two away while mingling. I flirted back a bit as best I could as she was doing it and glancing at me every now and then, we didn't talk though.

I don't really know her that well and we haven't talked much other than in groups of people chatting during breaks.

I wanted to ask for you more experienced peoples opinions if messaging her up on Facebook with something like [I]"Hey I certainly picked up on your flirting the other night. I'd really like to get to know you. Do you have any plans for New Years?"[/I]
Or is "calling her out" on the flirting not a good idea. I want to make my intentions as clear as I can though[/QUOTE]

"Do you have any plans for New Years?" would suffice!

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;43262398]if it's on facebook just be like ";) wanna fuck"

not straight up like that but you know what i mean[/QUOTE]

aw yeah
"u want sum fuk?"

Thanks for your thoughts on this people, it really does help when I usually don't do this :v:
I'm just going to go with a [I]"what do you have to loose"[/I] attitude when I'm interested in someone from now on if they aren't my friend originally, it actually works in making you feel ontop of the world and giving you a huge confidence boost - and you can say to yourself [I]"hey atleast you tried"[/I] if it doesn't work.

[Tennisball]

hi how 2 make a girl my girlfriend ?????

[editline]21st December 2013[/editline]

Nah but really though--I've been seeing this girl for like... a week and a half? We're taking things quite fast I guess; holding hands and kissing in public and shit. Is it too early to make it 'official' or whatever?

And like... How do people normally do that without saying "w1ll u be my gurlfriend ??" and making us both feel like we're in primary school? I'm seeing her on Monday so gonna do it then if it's not too fast?

[chinatown]

To make it offishial u hav 2 sign a papr wit facebook and maek it ur status lol

I dunno, why is there a need to make it "official"? That itself sounds pretty kindergarten to me, like youre gonna marry or something.

[I Fail At Lua]

snip

[EagleEye]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over an ex? Without the use of a 'rebound' girl?
I've tried playing games, but it doesn't really help. I hang with my friends as much as I can, but the second I'm left alone I get all weepy again.
Maybe I need a counselor or something

[chinatown]

Go meet other girls, that'll take off your mind from the ex

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=EagleEye;43263954]Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over an ex? Without the use of a 'rebound' girl?
I've tried playing games, but it doesn't really help. I hang with my friends as much as I can, but the second I'm left alone I get all weepy again.
Maybe I need a counselor or something[/QUOTE]

Time, and activities that keep your mind legitimately occupied - games are not one of those activities unless its a really difficult puzzle game or something.

[editline]22nd December 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43264240]Go meet other girls, that'll take off your mind from the ex[/QUOTE]

he literally just said he didn't want to rebound lol

[chinatown]

i dont mean have sex or another relationship or anything, even though I dont really see a problem with it as long as he doesnt get too invested in it, but just meeting a couple of new girls here and there does help. Just talk, nothing else

[killerteacup]

I think that some people find rebounding easier than others

personally I treat my relationships and commitments pretty seriously so I find rebounding and that not my cup of tea, I don't like treating my relationships with people flippantly so I find it hard

[Rossy167]

[QUOTE=EagleEye;43263954]Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over an ex? Without the use of a 'rebound' girl?
I've tried playing games, but it doesn't really help. I hang with my friends as much as I can, but the second I'm left alone I get all weepy again.
Maybe I need a counselor or something[/QUOTE]

Time. Waited a long time? Wait longer.

(Sorry, that's just how it goes)

[EagleEye]

yeah idk. Its only been a month and a half, but I've been getting more depressed as time passes and its stressing me out. I cut off all contact with her so it should be better, but it isn't. Everywhere I go around here I'm reminded of all the dates we went on, and then I remember how much everything has changed in the last year and it really upsets me.
I also just got surgery on my foot so I can't really go out and do much until it heals, which is going to be another 2 weeks.

Also I'm just trying to avoid all relationships right now. I'm about as mentally stable as an emotionally compromised 14 year old, and after break I'll have literally no time to put aside to date anyone. I've been on both sides of the rebound game and it sucks shit. I also don't feel like leading people on, or using someone to make myself feel better. I feel like that is a temporary fix to a much deeper problem.

Which also upsets me because I fucking hate being lonely, but I know it isn't fair if I date someone right now, it'd just be a mess. But the weather is looking a bit better, maybe I'll try and get out and do something next week. I need a hobby

[Heigou]

How does one love without pursuing, is it possible?

[Laughing Stock]

I think that just leads to crying in bed all day.

[Rossy167]

Snip - May aswell

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Medevila;43268552]Just got played for the first time, wasn't expecting it

Maybe monogamy is overrated but I have a feeling had I done the same to her she wouldn't have appreciated it

[editline]22nd December 2013[/editline]

I finally deem myself over the last relationship enough to open up and bam.. glad it didn't get very far[/QUOTE]

same thing happened to me pretty recently, its really shit but at least you did open up man, or at least that's what I'm taking from my own experience - some people just never do and some people have never bothered so be glad you at least still have feelings!

[Uncle Fassbender]

[QUOTE=Rossy167;43270908]Woops I accidentally rated this dumb instead of clicking the scroll bar, I'm really sorry man :suicide:[/QUOTE]
Refresh page, re-rate post.

[darcy010]

So where do you guys generally meet girls?

I've got a tight nit group of friends. We hang out and bit and have a good time. Meaning there's barely any times I see someone I don't already know.
I love university, but I've got kind of a weird course. We're situated right at the back of the school away from everywhere else, and it's the same 25 people the entire time.
Most of the girls are in relationships, and the ones that aren't haven't seemed too interested in becoming friends over the last year.
The two girls at work are my 50 year old boss, and the long term girlfriend of my bosses son.

And that's really all I ever do. Leaving basically no opportunity to meet new girls.
I don't really have the confidence to stop one in the middle of the street without looking like a massive creep. And from the few clubs that I've been to, I've found the bright lights and loud music make conversation impossible. I'll have a brief word with someone who seems nice before they walk off never to be seen again.

I really hope I'm not stuck in this same loop next year.

[RobbL]

[QUOTE=darcy010;43271240]So where do you guys generally meet girls?

I've got a tight nit group of friends. We hang out and bit and have a good time. Meaning there's barely any times I see someone I don't already know.
I love university, but I've got kind of a weird course. We're situated right at the back of the school away from everywhere else, and it's the same 25 people the entire time.
Most of the girls are in relationships, and the ones that aren't haven't seemed too interested in becoming friends over the last year.
The two girls at work are my 50 year old boss, and the long term girlfriend of my bosses son.

And that's really all I ever do. Leaving basically no opportunity to meet new girls.
I don't really have the confidence to stop one in the middle of the street without looking like a massive creep. And from the few clubs that I've been to, I've found the bright lights and loud music make conversation impossible. I'll have a brief word with someone who seems nice before they walk off never to be seen again.

I really hope I'm not stuck in this same loop next year.[/QUOTE]

Join some of your uni's clubs/societies?

[chinatown]

Meeting girls in clubs is kind of too much for me since the environment is just wild. But its possible. I just prefer to go outside to the smokers lounge or somewhere a tad more quiet, then theres more place to talk and everything. But the thing with clubs is that you have to be pretty loud and all that, you cant be shy or else nobody will notice you

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43273232]Meeting girls in clubs is kind of too much for me since the environment is just wild. But its possible. I just prefer to go outside to the smokers lounge or somewhere a tad more quiet, then theres more place to talk and everything. But the thing with clubs is that you have to be pretty loud and all that, you cant be shy or else nobody will notice you[/QUOTE]

He means club as in activity group. Like a mountaineering club. Its solid advice. You get to meeyt loads of new people.

[chinatown]

oh no, I meant the other clubs darcy mentioned, just didnt quote it