Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Lukeo]

[QUOTE=Inspector Jones;43296531]I wouldn't get only her a gift. I do have some subtlety.
[/QUOTE]

Makes it sound like you're buying everyone gifts just so you can give her one and not make a big deal out of it

[chinatown]

and not buying gifts looks just like youre not buying gifts because if you bought gifts it would look like you only bought them gifts so you could buy her a gift!

[Jo The Shmo]

stop thinking about it as some subtle way that you need to drop hints to her

just ask her out
dont confess your love, dont try to buy her with gifts
just ask if she's interested in you

[Inspector Jones]

[QUOTE=Lukeo;43296643]Makes it sound like you're buying everyone gifts just so you can give her one and not make a big deal out of it[/QUOTE]

Sort of? I'm not getting gifts for anyone I don't like or hang around with. That said, before deciding to get a present for this girl, I wasn't getting anyone from work gifts, so that's a fair assessment.

The psychology behind this is astoundingly complex.

EDIT:

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;43297497]stop thinking about it as some subtle way that you need to drop hints to her

just ask her out
dont confess your love, dont try to buy her with gifts
just ask if she's interested in you[/QUOTE]

Probably the most fair advice in the thread. I have thought further about this, and reached the same , or similar conclusion. I do plan on telling her sooner rather then later, but not immediately, even if it means asking before I've met all my internal goals.

EDIT 2:

I also need to talk with my two other friends at work about it, and see what they think. They've known her longer then I have, and may have some insight I do not.

[Loopoo]

Got a call from a really close friend of mine today, he was asking if I was down in the town we're from (cause him and some other mates were down for holidays from uni).

I told him I was still at uni. He then proceeded to ask, in the most sincere and worried way "Yeah man, that doesn't sound right... if you haven't gone in three days, you should get that checked out. You [I]did[/I] sound a bit backed up". Made us all laugh. Friends with great sense of humour are always the best.

[Larry_G]

Shit man, about a year ago one of my best friends passed away. Today, another friend from high school got killed in a car accident. I mean, merry fucking christmas. For some reason I feel horrible for making fun of him sometimes because he had a funny voice. I don't even know if he knew that, in the end, I thought he was an alright dude. He was pretty introverted and maybe a bit lonely but you could tell that he was crawling out of his shell slowly but surely. Life is so goddamn fragile, I can't even imagine what his parents are going through.

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43282028]So, I've been struggling pretty badly for the past few months with what I'm going to do following this year of college. It's my first year, and I had to go to the local community college because A) I couldn't afford anything more and B) I didn't really know what I wanted to major in. Now, I'm pretty set on majoring in Psychology.

Recently, an opportunity has come up for me to move to the Philippines to attend the Cebu Doctors' University there, and I'm extremely excited (and extremely scared). Does anyone here have experience moving continents away? I know I'll miss my family, but not so much my hometown itself. I'm just worried about integrating into a new culture, and being what I'm assuming is one of very few white people in an Asian country.[/QUOTE]

integrating is easy, its wanting to integrate that is hard. a lot of the times you might feel a bit homesick, its unavoidable.

but its a great opportunity to learn about yourself, my thinking about everything radically changed when i moved from europe to the united states. i learnt a lot about my culture and the culture here. i think it would be even more so if you moved to an Asian country, where the contrasts might be stronger.

[Mr. Bleak]

Well, a good friend of mine lives there and I'll be his roommate, so I'm not too worried about not having some of the culture of back home.

I've decided to do it. There's not much for me here, my mom and best friend are great, but I've went through a lot of shit over the past few months. My dad disappeared yesterday and as far as I know he's going to be gone for Christmas.

I'm really looking forward to my new beginning.

[Laughing Stock]

Is it okay to ask girls for hugs if you're not being a creepy fuck about it?

[MuffinZerg]

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;43302737]Is it okay to ask girls for hugs if you're not being a creepy fuck about it?[/QUOTE]

among my friends it's okay to walk up to any girl and hug her. And same for guys too.

I guess 'asking' for a hug can be quite creepy as it makes people uncomfortable. Just get close with a person and at a point you both will understand that you can just hug eachother when you want.

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;43302737]Is it okay to ask girls for hugs if you're not being a creepy fuck about it?[/QUOTE]

Everyone I know in my school are hugging all the time(friends, opposite sexes).

[I]and when they do I just stand there and do nothing.[/I]

[Missing User]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;43297497]stop thinking about it as some subtle way that you need to drop hints to her

just ask her out
dont confess your love, dont try to buy her with gifts
just ask if she's interested in you[/QUOTE]

Nothing has gotten me further with a girl than this advice here. Its awkward as fuck at first, but you know exactly where you stand. Exactly where you need to go. While I dont think asking her out should come first, its certainly not a bad way to go about it.

[MuffinZerg]

Okay facepunch, there is no one but you to help me. Don't worry, this is not about "how do I ask her out" or something similiar, so don't scroll just yet.

I have a problem with loneliness. To put it short I used to have a tight group of friends and a girlfriend from that group. Had the sweetest time with that girl for half a year, then we broke up because she lost interest and got interested in my best friend.

Later I found out that she actually cheated on me with that guy. All of this led to a big crysis in my life. A depression I still suffer from (but I consider myself out of it now).

So now, half a year since my depression started, I am left with no friends or anything. Got problems with studies and social life. In social life it feels like I have to learn to walk all over. I used to be confident and witty and stuff, but now I feel like it's all gone. Overall the pressure is pretty high and I have a hard time resisting it alone.

After a conflict with my tight group I broke all contact with most of them. My only friends are my ex that I mentioned, another girl from the group of friends and a girl from the side. I really need new people, real friends or at least something close to them, but all people at college and in the dorm just "don't feel right", if you know what I mean.

About that ex: you might ask why she is still my friend after all the shit. I should mention that she was the one who helped me get out of depression and did a lot of good to me. I feel attracted to her as a person, she's always fun to talk to and stuff. But I still feel the pain of a wound that doesn't seem to get better. So if I had some more friends or at least someone that I could be as comfortable with, as with her, I would cut contact with my ex to minimum. She also doesn't seem to be too interested in me and I can understand her. It's painful because I want more and more and more of her, but have no right to demand it.

One mroe thing: whenever I talk to people, even that one girl I feel comfortable with, I always have the feeling of not being satisfied. No matter what we talk about I always feel that it's too boring, not engaging enough and so on. Can't say I had a satisfying talk in half a year. This leads to me just not wanting to talk to people, while always wanting to socialize. You understand that such a conflict causes problems.

How do I fix my shit, facepunch?

[RocketRacer]

Yeah so I want to ask that-girl-from-my-school out(repeat: I am foreign student) but tomorrow is Boxing Day iirc(I'm in London), which as I bet is not the best option, isn't it? Today was not an option at all because, well, whole TransportForLondon is shut down today. Is Boxing Day actually sort of an obstacle and I should try on Friday or I should try it out?

Also I'm thinking to ask her today about tomorrow, or will it be better to ask on the same day?

[Loopoo]

-not really relevant, nvm-

Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope you all managed to just fucking ask her or him out, and are now enjoying the holidays with them.

[KriegsMar1ne]

I've nowhere else to really turn and I was hoping you guys could help me with this

I haven't talked with this girl in over a month (Nov 12th'ish) and things kind of ended on a 'not so great' (Wasn't a bad one, just wasn't a good one either) note. We were somewhat dating for about 2-3 months but because of some issues we 'split'. Is it too late to say anything, like maybe just a simple "Hey! Merry Christmas!" or what?

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43305183]Yeah so I want to ask that-girl-from-my-school out(repeat: I am foreign student) but tomorrow is Boxing Day iirc(I'm in London), which as I bet is not the best option, isn't it? Today was not an option at all because, well, whole TransportForLondon is shut down today. Is Boxing Day actually sort of an obstacle and I should try on Friday or I should try it out?

Also I'm thinking to ask her today about tomorrow, or will it be better to ask on the same day?[/QUOTE]

I am really starting to think that I should do that on Friday, because tomorrow is a day full of discounts on shops and etc.

[MuffinZerg]

[QUOTE=KriegsMar1ne;43306354]I've nowhere else to really turn and I was hoping you guys could help me with this

I haven't talked with this girl in over a month (Nov 12th'ish) and things kind of ended on a 'not so great' (Wasn't a bad one, just wasn't a good one either) note. We were somewhat dating for about 2-3 months but because of some issues we 'split'. Is it too late to say anything, like maybe just a simple "Hey! Merry Christmas!" or what?[/QUOTE]

never too later

[slayer20]

Can anyone recommend any good dating sites? I'm willing to try anything really.

[Daniel Smith]

I don't know whats wrong with me, I used to be funny but now I've turned to shit. I think that my jokes are good but they end up being very unfunny. And it's gotten worse over time, what do I do?

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43306513]I am really starting to think that I should do that on Friday, because tomorrow is a day full of discounts on shops and etc.[/QUOTE]

Well, there go my plans. She's busy with her family every day until New Year and then she'll be busy as well because it will be her birthday couple of days after that. Awesome. :v: Basically next time I could try is only when school starts for the very least, which is 7th.

At least she was using smileys in her texts and she even put 'x' in her first message. [I]it's something.[/I]

That was expected but I didn't really think about that local people have got families way bigger than mine currently is and this time of year isn't particullary suitable because she's spending time with her family.

[DeathDoom]

well i got screwed pretty bad

for some background, my two best friends are girls and i hang out in a friend group that's like 75% girls. A year ago one of my friends asked me to turnabout as friends, my brain got confused, i had a crush on her, she didn't feel the same way, and now we don't really talk to each other

anyways after that i had a crush on another girl for the past six months, right as she started hanging out in the same friend group as me, we both do mock trial and work at the same fast-food place, and after a really dumb back and forth with my best friend (who is also her best friend -- it's fucking complicated) where she likes me, and then she doesn't like me, etc. she texts me after we hang out and says that we need to talk about "you know what"

ok

so i take her home from school the next day, tell her i like her (i know dumb highschool-tier move w/e she wanted me to say it), she says she likes me, feels awesome and stuff.

so we start talking to each other a loooot more, call her every night, try to set up a date but can't because she's really busy (right before exams + senior year so that means college stuff). This goes on for like two weeks until one weekend she just started acting different. i buy her chocolate as an early christmas present, leave it in her locker last period so she finds it before she gets her stuff and leaves. She finds it, starts crying, tracks me down in the halls, and after me trying to force it out of her, she tells me that no, she couldn't date me and does the whole "it's not you it's me" thing.

okaaaaaayy...

one week later (now), it turns out that, no, it definitely WAS me because she pretty obviously likes this other guy from work (snapchat best friends, obvious the way she acts around him) and i'm pretty sure they're gonna start dating. I haven't talked to her since.

this is a problem
this is a really really big problem

1. he's a pretty cool guy, if they end up going out, i probably won't like him as much anymore
2. this is going to make hanging out super fucking awkward because we're in the same friend group
3. this is going to make hanging out even MORE awkward if she invites him to stuff
4. work is going to fucking SUCK
5. so is prom for that matter

i was [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence]limerent[/url] (look it up) over this girl for the better part of six months, it's gonna take a lot to get over her. We were pretty good friends even before this. A lot of what i do outside of school is with her. We have the same two best friends and hang out together all the time.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss
that's the way it goes i guess

tl;dr: don't try to date your friends, also, highschool is dumb

[Boss]

You'll grow out of it,

[Rhenae]

Merry Christmas everybody! Been away from my computer the last few days, visiting my family and my bfs back in the old city. Was nice seeing everyone again, and this is the first christmas in a long time I havent had a huge argument with my mother about going to church woo~~~~~

Cant fully enjoy it knowing I have to work a 16 hour shift tomorrow for boxing day sales as work but oh well, how was everyone elses holidays?

[zenby]

I spent 5 solid hours texting my best friend about our respective relationship issues

He's got this girl who he's really good friends with, but also romantically involved with, except she also has a boyfriend on the end of the country

[343N]

i am awful at talking to people. i feel like i make them want to run away. hell I even just say 'hi' and they don't say anything back. Any advice on how to talk to people and make them not want to end the convo as fast as possible?
I don't know what happened, I used to be so good at this and it all disappeared

[mokkan]

Is it weird that I think my friends sister who is starting year 12 next year is hot as a dude starting year 2 of uni?

[editline]28th December 2013[/editline]

Idk it just feels weird for some reason, like if I was to pursue it:

Wanna hang out?
Nah I can't I'm picking my girlfriend up from school at 3 and doing stuff with her.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=343N;43323405]i am awful at talking to people. i feel like i make them want to run away. hell I even just say 'hi' and they don't say anything back. Any advice on how to talk to people and make them not want to end the convo as fast as possible?
I don't know what happened, I used to be so good at this and it all disappeared[/QUOTE]

I found that happened to me when I got out of the flow of talking to a lot of people. Try practicing, and ~maybe~ it will come back.

[343N]

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;43324810]I found that happened to me when I got out of the flow of talking to a lot of people. Try practicing, and ~maybe~ it will come back.[/QUOTE]
What do you mean by practising? Just talking to random people?

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=343N;43325940]What do you mean by practising? Just talking to random people?[/QUOTE]

Over the summer I got worse at communicating i was pretty isolated, i got forced to talk a lot more through my management courses over the past semester, now I'm back to regular communication.