Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[lope]

What do you do when a close friend starts showing signs that they like you, they know you like them (w/o explicitly telling them) , but then they tell you they (non explicitly) like someone else.

I promise this isn't about me.

[Fire Kracker]

you tell them you like them and if they don't return it then your hunch was wrong in the first place

and then feel the weight get lifted off your shoulders

[BackSapper]

So I got a very promising first date with a girl I met off of Okcupid a couple weeks ago. Problem I am having as she doesn't seem to be that social of a person around new people even though we are greatly interested on each other. What are going to be some good Ice breaking conversations during dinner before a movie?

[ArgvCompany]

[QUOTE=Mr. Bleak;43415764]Uh, feeling good for feeling accomplished? I dunno, that happens whenever I feel like I did well at something, not sure about you guys.

I remember the first time I got a kiss goodbye I felt like I was floating for the next hour or so.

[editline]4th January 2014[/editline]

It's honestly probably a release of endorphins or some shit.[/QUOTE]

Doesn't this make me pretty unstable, considering how much it affected me?

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=ArgvCompany;43423643]Doesn't this make me pretty unstable, considering how much it affected me?[/QUOTE]

Here's a better question: do you frequently experience problems like this and are they negatively affecting your life? If not you really shouldn't be worried about it.

It sounds like euphoria but your description was very vague. Your mention of psychosis made me think of derealization, but you sounded pretty positive about it and derealization is generally an upsetting experience.

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=ArgvCompany;43423643]Doesn't this make me pretty unstable, considering how much it affected me?[/QUOTE]

Hypochondria

[RocketRacer]

I wished the girl I like a happy birthday and asked her if she is by any chance available next week. I sent that an hour ago, and after scrolling diwn the timeline a bit and finding the 'happy birthday' posts on her wall and seeing her answers minutes ago, I feel ignored on purpose. I think I'm getting paranoid here..

[DarthStardust]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43430358]I wished the girl I like a happy birthday and asked her if she is by any chance available next week. I sent that an hour ago, and after scrolling diwn the timeline a bit and finding the 'happy birthday' posts on her wall and seeing her answers minutes ago, I feel ignored on purpose. I think I'm getting paranoid here..[/QUOTE]

You did this on her Facebook wall?!

[IlluminatiRex]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43430358]I wished the girl I like a happy birthday and asked her if she is by any chance available next week. I sent that an hour ago, and after scrolling diwn the timeline a bit and finding the 'happy birthday' posts on her wall and seeing her answers minutes ago, I feel ignored on purpose. I think I'm getting paranoid here..[/QUOTE]

Never, ever, do these things over facebook. Ever.

[Whomobile]

If you want to ask someone out over Facebook, use the messenger/chat.

Speaking of which, I ask a friend if she wanted to hang out since I haven't really been up to much lately. turns out shes gone on holiday for three weeks.

Fuck.

[RocketRacer]

well of course I did that through messenger, I didn't specify that. :v:

[chinatown]

Her birthday was probably not the best time to ask her. Its her day, she feels she deserves attention and then you ask her to give you her attention, not something she'll probably do unless she already likes you or something. But dont overthink it, just ask her some other time

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43435415]Her birthday was probably not the best time to ask her. Its her day, she feels she deserves attention and then you ask her to give you her attention, not something she'll probably do unless she already likes you or something. But dont overthink it, just ask her some other time[/QUOTE]

Not on the day, I asked about next week.

[ozzypozzy]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43436519]Not on the day, I asked about next week.[/QUOTE]Yeah but you arranged to go out next week ON her birthday.

[zenby]

I've wanted to hang out with a friend of mine for like 3 weeks now, but she's been really busy, and now we've had 0 communication for a week
And even though I know we're good friends, at times like these I start to get paranoid about how much they actually care because it feels like I'm the one who has to start and maintain communication most of the time

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;43441324]I've wanted to hang out with a friend of mine for like 3 weeks now, but she's been really busy, and now we've had 0 communication for a week
And even though I know we're good friends, at times like these I start to get paranoid about how much they actually care because it feels like I'm the one who has to start and maintain communication most of the time[/QUOTE]

Some people are like that. I have friends that are terrible at staying in touch, sometimes we go months without talking, but I know that when I do catch up with them finally it'll just be like old times. I don't worry about it too much and I don't think you should either.

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=metallics;43441455]Some people are like that. I have friends that are terrible at staying in touch, sometimes we go months without talking, but I know that when I do catch up with them finally it'll just be like old times. I don't worry about it too much and I don't think you should either.[/QUOTE]

I'm like that, I do something with a friend then we don't talk for like 2 full months, literally 0 communication then that friend just talks to me again and we hang out, rinse and repeat. I don't know if it's a bad thing but I'm just like that, I guess I don't try to really maintain my friendships but when I see friends that I haven't seen in months it's still the good old same and I'm not awkward at all.

[chinatown]

I think its ok with good friends. I do try to talk regularly with some friends since they dont really talk back all the time, but other people that I knew and we were not close but not far, I do try to talk to them some times, but I usually forget

[zenby]

[QUOTE=metallics;43441455]Some people are like that. I have friends that are terrible at staying in touch, sometimes we go months without talking, but I know that when I do catch up with them finally it'll just be like old times. I don't worry about it too much and I don't think you should either.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I've been trying to stop worrying about it, and generally get a handle on my anxiety/paranoia

And isn't this ironic, they just sent me a random snapchat about being fed up with their job. All is well in the universe

[chinatown]

i dont really get snapchat. I used it with some friends and all we did was send stupid photos and videos. Do people have conversations with it?

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43442393]i dont really get snapchat. I used it with some friends and all we did was send stupid photos and videos. Do people have conversations with it?[/QUOTE]

i do. its still pretty stupid though, but its a good laugh if you get really into it

[zenby]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43442393]i dont really get snapchat. I used it with some friends and all we did was send stupid photos and videos. Do people have conversations with it?[/QUOTE]

It's not really suited for anything beyond really light conversation, but it's useful for saying/showing stuff quickly

[autodesknoob]

so iam about to do something i have never done before, im voting for myself.
This is going to be pretty long, sorry.

So, few years ago, i met a girl from my school at a pre-university institution, we were on the same math class. We got to talk a little but i was always shy. I kinda liked her but i knew i wasnt going to do anything because thats how i always act, always shy and always a loser hurray, also, she had a boyfriend. This year (im on college now), by facebook, just randomly, she liked a status i posted and i was all like "jesus i forgot about her!" so i talked to her and i just asked her out at that same moment, to see a movie, she said yes. We saw it, got to her place and talked a few hours. She noticed i wasnt the same person she knew but whatever. She told me she got out of her last relationship because her boyfriend told her that he was inlove with her smaller sister, so it was a pretty rough breakout, she told me she didnt want a relationship for now and that she was enjoying her space (but she acted like she really just wanted some company, so i figured that she just wanted to repeat that to herself until she believed it). She thanked me for everything and got back home when it was getting late, with a big smile, of course. Then i noticed she posted a few romantic statuses on facebook and i felt like they were meant for me, so i was even happier. After a few days talking on facebook, i asked if she wanted to come to my place, she said yes. I was a little busy the next days, so i had to tell her later a couple of times until i told her i could do it. We met and everything went fantastic, im not getting into details but we almost kissed, now you wonder why we didnt. Well, turns out she was seeing another guy, but she didnt told me this until i felt i was getting somewhere on the date, so i figured that as she was feeling like she started to like me, she had to say that so i stopped there and didnt try anything...but i just said fuck it and didnt care, at all. Later on the day, we end up on the grass, hugging, looking at eachother face to face with almost no distance between us...then i remember all those statuses on facebook and then it all made sense, they werent for me, they were for the other guy, and the other guy, suddenly, remind me of my two best friends, whose girlfriends also broke up with them because of me (not that i tried anything with them, i just met them and they started liking me, didnt do anything because, even if i kinda liked them, they were my friends girlfriends at the end). When i realized that, this feeling of guilt just invaded my whole body and i just had to smile and hug her again, so the kiss was gone. After that the date got pretty lame, i felt like shit, asked a few questions about the guy she was seeing like nothing even happen and at the end, i told her "you know, i was gonna kiss you at this point, but you told me you are ok just like the way you are, im not breaking another relationship, for the third time" she told me she wouldnt have accepted the kiss, not because she didnt want to, but because of the other guy, and that at the end, she loved the way i solved everything, and that she felt the same as i did. I even told her maybe we were just confused, and that i wanted a little bit of time to think things up. She agreed immediately. We said goodbye, and i noticed she looked back while i was taking the bus. She shot me a text saying that whatever happened, she cared about me and that i shouldn't forget that.

After that, i started crying, because my ego and my persona wouldnt let me choose for me because someone would get hurt. I went on a little vacation before Christmas and i had time to think things up, as i said. And realized that thats the way my romances work. Every single girl i have met and that admitted that had feelings for me was or was in her way to a relationship. Every single one of them! why? i kept asking myself that question all the fucking time, and then i thought...maybe its because they cant see me in a "boyfriend" way, just like this weird ass dude who is kinda interesting. They have they romance life "solved" before talking to me, they dont see me as that, but when they start knowing me a little deeper, they like that, and then they feel conflicted by that.
I realized, then, that if i didnt do something different this time, maybe things are going to be like that forever. I called her while on vacation and asked if she wanted to meet. She told me she was leaving town tomorrow for new years eve and that she was gonna stay there a few days, turns out i was gonna do the same thing, but later, so i told her. "well, i guess ill see you next year!" she said.

After new years eve, still in my second vacation, i just accidentally picked up a status of her saying that she was so happy she could be with the person that makes her days special (with a heart) and i felt like "damn, that sucks" but i still wanted to meet up, so it didnt bother me that much...but after a while that damn comment started spinning on my head so i had to check her profile...and holy fuck, didnt expect that. "x is now on a relationship".

That night (i was alone) for a few hours, i wanted to cry so hard, it was the same damn event, over and over again, for the fourth time, the girl i liked, got into a relationship while i just started knowing her. I felt like crap, everything, i kept saying in my head "thats it, again". But then it came back to me, a single thought "whats changed?" "whats different?" "everything is the same, shes still with another guy, and you still have something so say, so whats different now, a facebook status, after new years eve? the day that probably everyone makes promises? on facebook?, the place where you thought she was writing things to you while they were meant for another guy, and it still didnt even matter, fuck facebook and digital media in general, it means nothing"
Some of these events are way less that i used to think. Its a relationship, big deal, its another guy, big deal, maybe she wont want to see you again, BIG DEAL. How am i going to get to know those things if i remain in silence, accepting that stupid fate? the only way i keep wondering everything in sadness is by not doing anything at all. So i ate my tears up, and the feel of desolation became anxiety, i just wanted to say what i had to say.

Today i came back home, and called her. Didnt answer (ohgodshedoesntwanttotalktoyouyouaresuchaloose..fuck it) went on facebook and wrote that i wanted to talk some stuff with her, she said she was back from her vacation and that i should let her know were i was able to meet up. I told her tomorrow i had a little time, but she said she was busy until friday. I told her i would let her know by the week if i could meet on friday (of course i can i just didnt want to say OH GOD YES that instant moment).

So, waiting for friday, im not going to do a speech but i kinda know what im going to say.
this is the weird part. I havent had a serious relationship like NEVER, and not even ONE single kiss, so im aware i take these things more serious than they are.

Is it right facepunch, should i just choose myself over that random guy? should i just do this for me, or for her? am i even doing it for her in any way at this point? should she just face the consequences of my acts? im fighting myself at this point.

[Fire Kracker]

always do things for yourself because in the end it's her choice anyways

but it doesn't sound like she's interested either :\ so you have to be absolutely prepared to move on

but do it anyways so you don't feel like you'll regret never saying it, but you're going to have to stop liking her

[Slowbro]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;43399626]Well the girl I'm interested in doesn't have a thing with that guy anymore, he called it off and said to her that they weren't made for each other. Maybe this is my chance, I'm not going to get my hopes up though. What should I do?[/QUOTE]

jfaho

[RobbL]

I need to meet more girls

[Hole]

i can't keep a conversation going for shit

"i like doing this"

"Well if you like it, keep on doing it!"

[RocketRacer]

Oh, hey. First time asking a girl out(and she said she's busy two times, but it's understandable why) that didn't actually fuck up everything. When I asked two previous girls out one said 'no sorry' and blocked every contact with me(I mean didn't speak in school, we were classmates) and second one agreed to go out but then repeatedly kept saying that she is busy on purpose(later on I found that out). This girl has actually kept as friendly as she was before, so nothing's lost yet?

[chinatown]

as long as you dont come across as needy or whatever, keep trying.

Why did the other 2 reject you?

[autodesknoob]

[QUOTE=Hole;43454363]i can't keep a conversation going for shit

"i like doing this"

"Well if you like it, keep on doing it!"[/QUOTE]

i usually just ask questions until i feel comfortably enough to tell something about myself, then receive the questions myself.