Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE='[sluggo];43565423']Don't be paranoid. Does she have a reason to ignore you? Was she unfriendly the last time you saw her? If not then she probably just missed it.[/QUOTE]

Well, maybe it's because I asked her out twice and she said she's busy? I've got no idea, honestly.

[editline]17th January 2014[/editline]

Maybe she started to ignore my messages thinking 'lol that foreign guy' or something

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43570522]Well, maybe it's because I asked her out twice and she said she's busy? I've got no idea, honestly.
[/QUOTE]

If she says she's busy more than a couple times without offering an alternate time where she's free you're usually fucked.

Also girl I like's birthday is today and all I can do is wish her happy birthday on Facebook because I don't see her at all today. Better than nothing I guess.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;43566466]Man, I just realized that I've spent a vast majority of my winter break to myself playing games. I really need to go socialize with some people. Me time is nice and all, but I just feel like a slob hardly doing anything social or productive.[/QUOTE]

Usually I can't stand breaks from school just because I stop being productive. Over this break I learned how to use Excel and started learning French again and I'm not looking forward to school for once.

Haven't gone out much but I've kept myself busy.

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;43571949]Also girl I like's birthday is today and all I can do is wish her happy birthday on Facebook because I don't see her at all today. Better than nothing I guess.[/QUOTE]
heh I did the same with exactly the same situation.

[Jo The Shmo]

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;43569447]Considering she spilled every detail of her life to him, it's pretty safe to say they were really hitting it off earlier, and he doesn't seem to happy about how it's not like that anymore. If you can get him to actually explain himself, that'd probably be more helpful, but "be careful", without any explanation, sounds more like he doesn't like you being around her.[/QUOTE]

?? thats an immature way of viewing the situation
just because you connect with someone enough to talk about your problems doesn't mean you're interested sexually
i've been close with plenty of girls in the past and we'd both talk about our issues, it doesn't mean we were about to fuck

[editline]17th January 2014[/editline]

tbh rusty's advice was the best, it could mean a ton of different things but the only thing that matters is that so far, things are going very well between us

[SleepyAl]

It's like every few months I end up back here posting about how I'm feeling, forget about it and then when another few months pass and I post again I lose my posts and can't find out who's replied to them.

Anyways, back to posting shit. Sorry to bother you guys, hopefully I'll keep track of which page I posted on.

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I hate being a straight male.

Yeah, I know, every other gender/sexuality has a harder time, but I feel like my personality just doesn't match my body. I'm not outgoing, I'm very insular and I think a lot, I'm creative, I feel my emotions very strongly and like to talk about them, I'm compassionate and help other people, I care about how I'm dressed and make sure I'm never caught looking like a mess, I get anxious and depressed sometimes, I'm not athletic and I'm not a fan of sports, I don't get angry (rather, I get depressed), I'm never suave or macho, I don't drink or party, and I'm too friendly for my own good. It's like I have the mind of a shy girl but everything else, sexuality and lifestyle included, is male.

My therapist wanted me to go on a dating site. I never made an account, but I looked at people in my age range around my area. Everyone who I was at least slightly attracted to wanted an outgoing, athletic, funny, handsome and wild guy. I'm funny sometimes, and even though I don't feel handsome people have told me I am, but just browsing that site made me depressed because I felt like I don't compare to what women want since I hate physical activity, I'm not super slim (I'm 210 and 5'10 but I hide my weight well apparently) and I'm certainly not outgoing or wild.

Right now I just left my friends in the main area of my dorm and went to my room because I knew I wasn't feeling well, but the main reason is as follows: I got a text out of the blue from a girl I like, who mentioned she was coming over tonight and was looking forward to seeing me. I texted her back that I was looking forward to seeing her as well. Then, knock at the door. It's a kinda-friend-mostly-acquaintance of mine who came to visit my roommates. Turns out he invited the girl I liked to come over here. Also turns out he likes her too, and they've been getting to know each other, and it looks like he's trying hard to get a date with her by working his way into her life as a friend. I've known the girl for two years, I never got involved with her, I made the mistake of being an open book to her and she knows about the whole depression/anxiety thing (she has it as well but I'm positive I must have turned her off, especially since I cried once in her presence and guys aren't supposed to cry apparently). I think she knows I liked her at one point, but yeah, nothing pointing towards her liking me other than the usual friendliness. Honestly I doubt she likes him in any way other than a friend either, but who knows.

The guy is a typical nice guy, but he must not like me for some reason. He got everyone in my dorm room an expensive gift, like a $200 crossbow or a normally $500-but-got-it-for-$60 guitar, and I got jack squat. He's friendly with me, but when he first met the girl he asked me about her since I knew her, and I offhand mentioned I liked her, so maybe that's it?

Anyways, we were watching Zoolander (great movie, but I couldn't get into it because she was right next to me and I couldn't focus), and near the end of the movie I just got up, excused myself, and got on the computer with the intention of posting here, but couldn't get the nerve to do it. When the movie was over she came in to say goodbye, hugged me, said she'd see me again sometime, and left. My friends, and the guy, are still in the living room watching stuff while I'm here writing this. I'm probably going to go to bed after I finish this.

But yeah, I feel inadequate, since I'm super shy and introverted, not outgoing at all, and it takes me a while to warm up to people enough that I feel comfortable around them. And the worst part is that I have potential. People constantly tell me when I'm down that I'd make some woman very happy, that I'd be a great boyfriend or whatever, but it doesn't mean jack shit if I can't make the first move because guys are supposed to do that shit. Fuck, I almost wish I was a lesbian because then I could still be attracted to women and have a woman make the first move in a relationship.

My life is (almost) great otherwise. I've made enough money at my part-time job at a senior center helping seniors with any problems they have with their electronic devices to have a safety net in case something happens, it's my last semester in my senior year of university and I'll hopefully get a research internship afterwards and then go on to graduate school, I just got a guitar so I'll learn how to play that, and I've got so many steam games if I ever want to play video games. However, my dad did get laid off from his job so we might have to sell the house and move but I've got my university fees paid off (still own like $60k in loans I'll need to pay off over the rest of my life) so at least I can finish uni. Everything else is going great with my life but a relationship. Never been in one, still a virgin. Never even kissed a girl. Never held a girl's hand. I have friends who are girls, but that's as far as it's gotten.

I feel so empty without a person in my life. I've tried everything else. Arts, music, video games, movies, helping others, hanging out with friends, nothing fills this void except when I'm close to any girl I've liked, and that's fleeting and depressing afterwards. I'm just hopeless at this point, because I feel utterly powerless in getting into a relationship, since I'm not the kind of person who walks up to a stranger and asks them out, and I'm not the kind of person who would "wear the pants" in a relationship.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to accomplish posting here, since most likely I'll get some generic advice, encouragement or a kick-in-the-pants but nothing will probably change. I know statistically I'm bound to find someone eventually but I feel terrible being alone. I guess I just needed to put how I'm feeling into words so hopefully I can move on. If you've read all this, then thanks, makes me feel like somebody cares or feels the same, and I've been told before that people are in the same boat but it's human nature to reach out when you're down and getting validated makes me feel better.

[Rhenae]

Sign up for a dating site and try actually going for a few dates.
Everyone says they want a funny outgoing manly man, but what people list as want vs what they actually end up liking isnt always the same. On top of that just browsing rather than seeing who you get matched with doesnt help, since it wont actually show you people compatible to you.
And stop believing so heavily in stereotypes and blaming the world for them. Just say fuck what your supposed to be and be what you are. No guy actually doesnt cry.

I would write more but im on my phone so oh well maybe post more later

[NoDachi]

*zizek voice*

what people want is not what they [I]really[/I] want

[Kirbyfactor]

I've been talking a little with a girl, but she seems completly uninterested with what I'm saying.
What am I doing wrong?

[JackAttack]

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;43594458]I've been talking a little with a girl, but she seems completly uninterested with what I'm saying.
What am I doing wrong?[/QUOTE]

What are you talking about?

[Kirbyfactor]

[QUOTE=jackattack;43594832]What are you talking about?[/QUOTE]

School, our classes have weeks of tests coming up, so I asked her about the work.

[chinatown]

wow so exciting

[Taepodong-2]

I guess this kind of fits in this thread.

How can I tell my roommate that I think his girlfriend is super annoying and I wish they would spend more time somewhere other than our dorm instead of being here 100% of the time without being a massive douche about it? I asked him about it once before but he got kind of hostile about it and wouldn't give me an answer.

[DarthStardust]

[QUOTE=SleepyAl;43589672]It's like every few months I end up back here posting about how I'm feeling, forget about it and then when another few months pass and I post again I lose my posts and can't find out who's replied to them.

Anyways, back to posting shit. Sorry to bother you guys, hopefully I'll keep track of which page I posted on.

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I hate being a straight male.

Yeah, I know, every other gender/sexuality has a harder time, but I feel like my personality just doesn't match my body. I'm not outgoing, I'm very insular and I think a lot, I'm creative, I feel my emotions very strongly and like to talk about them, I'm compassionate and help other people, I care about how I'm dressed and make sure I'm never caught looking like a mess, I get anxious and depressed sometimes, I'm not athletic and I'm not a fan of sports, I don't get angry (rather, I get depressed), I'm never suave or macho, I don't drink or party, and I'm too friendly for my own good. It's like I have the mind of a shy girl but everything else, sexuality and lifestyle included, is male.

My therapist wanted me to go on a dating site. I never made an account, but I looked at people in my age range around my area. Everyone who I was at least slightly attracted to wanted an outgoing, athletic, funny, handsome and wild guy. I'm funny sometimes, and even though I don't feel handsome people have told me I am, but just browsing that site made me depressed because I felt like I don't compare to what women want since I hate physical activity, I'm not super slim (I'm 210 and 5'10 but I hide my weight well apparently) and I'm certainly not outgoing or wild.

Right now I just left my friends in the main area of my dorm and went to my room because I knew I wasn't feeling well, but the main reason is as follows: I got a text out of the blue from a girl I like, who mentioned she was coming over tonight and was looking forward to seeing me. I texted her back that I was looking forward to seeing her as well. Then, knock at the door. It's a kinda-friend-mostly-acquaintance of mine who came to visit my roommates. Turns out he invited the girl I liked to come over here. Also turns out he likes her too, and they've been getting to know each other, and it looks like he's trying hard to get a date with her by working his way into her life as a friend. I've known the girl for two years, I never got involved with her, I made the mistake of being an open book to her and she knows about the whole depression/anxiety thing (she has it as well but I'm positive I must have turned her off, especially since I cried once in her presence and guys aren't supposed to cry apparently). I think she knows I liked her at one point, but yeah, nothing pointing towards her liking me other than the usual friendliness. Honestly I doubt she likes him in any way other than a friend either, but who knows.

The guy is a typical nice guy, but he must not like me for some reason. He got everyone in my dorm room an expensive gift, like a $200 crossbow or a normally $500-but-got-it-for-$60 guitar, and I got jack squat. He's friendly with me, but when he first met the girl he asked me about her since I knew her, and I offhand mentioned I liked her, so maybe that's it?

Anyways, we were watching Zoolander (great movie, but I couldn't get into it because she was right next to me and I couldn't focus), and near the end of the movie I just got up, excused myself, and got on the computer with the intention of posting here, but couldn't get the nerve to do it. When the movie was over she came in to say goodbye, hugged me, said she'd see me again sometime, and left. My friends, and the guy, are still in the living room watching stuff while I'm here writing this. I'm probably going to go to bed after I finish this.

But yeah, I feel inadequate, since I'm super shy and introverted, not outgoing at all, and it takes me a while to warm up to people enough that I feel comfortable around them. And the worst part is that I have potential. People constantly tell me when I'm down that I'd make some woman very happy, that I'd be a great boyfriend or whatever, but it doesn't mean jack shit if I can't make the first move because guys are supposed to do that shit. Fuck, I almost wish I was a lesbian because then I could still be attracted to women and have a woman make the first move in a relationship.

My life is (almost) great otherwise. I've made enough money at my part-time job at a senior center helping seniors with any problems they have with their electronic devices to have a safety net in case something happens, it's my last semester in my senior year of university and I'll hopefully get a research internship afterwards and then go on to graduate school, I just got a guitar so I'll learn how to play that, and I've got so many steam games if I ever want to play video games. However, my dad did get laid off from his job so we might have to sell the house and move but I've got my university fees paid off (still own like $60k in loans I'll need to pay off over the rest of my life) so at least I can finish uni. Everything else is going great with my life but a relationship. Never been in one, still a virgin. Never even kissed a girl. Never held a girl's hand. I have friends who are girls, but that's as far as it's gotten.

I feel so empty without a person in my life. I've tried everything else. Arts, music, video games, movies, helping others, hanging out with friends, nothing fills this void except when I'm close to any girl I've liked, and that's fleeting and depressing afterwards. I'm just hopeless at this point, because I feel utterly powerless in getting into a relationship, since I'm not the kind of person who walks up to a stranger and asks them out, and I'm not the kind of person who would "wear the pants" in a relationship.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to accomplish posting here, since most likely I'll get some generic advice, encouragement or a kick-in-the-pants but nothing will probably change. I know statistically I'm bound to find someone eventually but I feel terrible being alone. I guess I just needed to put how I'm feeling into words so hopefully I can move on. If you've read all this, then thanks, makes me feel like somebody cares or feels the same, and I've been told before that people are in the same boat but it's human nature to reach out when you're down and getting validated makes me feel better.[/QUOTE]

As somebody who a few years back went through an identical situation let me tell you that being introverted is not a negative quality. Sometimes people feel better quietly thinking on their own and that's fine. You shouldn't view it as a disadvantage and hold those with confidence in a higher regard. Confidence is merely a construct of the mind, it's purely conceptual, it does not exist. It's smiling and pretending to be comfortable in your own skin. With practice and enough pretending; anybody can do it.

Even the most confident people on the planet are secretly quiet introspectives. I used to look at people in the public eye who come across as charismatic and confident such as Russell Brand or Robert Downey Jr and think they had some magical power I didn't. In reality they were just very good at keeping up appearances, lest we forget both were destructive drug addicts who no doubt battled numerous personal demons and issues and had moments of depression and anxiety. Even people like british Comedian Jimmy Carr, he didn't lose his virginity until he was 26. Everybody is fucked up. It's a sad part of being human.

Being confident should not be something you strive to achieve, being outgoing is not [I]better[/I] than being internal. Some human beings draw energy from attention and groups, others draw energy from quiet lonely periods. You should embrace who you are and accept it. Do not put stock in relationships solving all your problems. When you get something that you really wanted it instantly becomes uninteresting.

I actually ended up getting the girl I really liked but-she-liked-somebody-else really drunk and asked her out. She obviously said no. She insisted she'd been leading me on but I realise I had allowed things to spiral out of control. In the love advice thread people are constantly telling people to "JUST ASK HER OUT". That used to terrify me. Fear of rejection I guess. While rejection obviously hurts and sends you into a downer, it's from that you develop thick skin and develop confidence. If you spent you whole life never falling over you'd be terrified of walking. You need rejection to learn. You need to swallow your pride and take the blow. Ask this girl out. Best case: she says yes. Worst case: She says no. Either way you'll remain friends if you were as close as you said. Don't plan it. Just do it. Every time you like somebody do it quickly. You'll become better as a person. It's scary and painful but failure is part of being human, and it's the only way to learn.

[BuffaloBill]

So the girl I've been seeing the past few weeks told me she wanted to take things slow right off the bat, and that she saw me as a friend. I told her I wouldn't step as much as my little toe across the boundaries she set, and to take as long as she wanted (she knew I was interested in her).

We kissed tonight. \o/

[ScoutKing]

So Im in a position where its hard to meet new people (Im in the military, in a training status, so i spend 95% of my time within a mile of my barracks, at the school house, chow hall, or hanging out with my class mates). Theres no one I would really date from my division/class (i did go on a few with one girl, but came to find out shes sort of a shallow person). So im kind of considering using online dating to meet females. Does anyone have any positive experiences with them? Should I just wait the 4-6 months I have left here, and to try to go on dates where I eventually end up?

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=SleepyAl;43589672]
I honestly don't know what I'm going to accomplish posting here, since most likely I'll get some generic advice, encouragement or a kick-in-the-pants but nothing will probably change. I know statistically I'm bound to find someone eventually but I feel terrible being alone. I guess I just needed to put how I'm feeling into words so hopefully I can move on. If you've read all this, then thanks, makes me feel like somebody cares or feels the same, and I've been told before that people are in the same boat but it's human nature to reach out when you're down and getting validated makes me feel better.[/QUOTE]

look gender is something you can call a negotiation. its very difficult to match the masculine ideal completely and even by trying to you run the risk of becoming ridiculous.

so you have to decide for yourself how to express your gender. this idea that you have to match what women want is a fruitless one because you can never 100% match that ideal of what women supposedly want.

i can assure you from second-hand account that being a lesbian would not make anything in the love department easier lol. what you need to do is just get a bit more confident in yourself and understand where you can "fit" yourself in when it comes to the greater kind of "dating scene". part of that is just getting used to being down and learning how to manage it and be okay with it. part of what differs between depressed people and non-depressed people is how they handle stress and negative emotions.

and just for the future being an open book isnt always a positive thing. its okay on a webforum, but in person it can be misinterpreted or comes across as manipulating. be careful

[editline]19th January 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;43589770]
And stop believing so heavily in stereotypes and blaming the world for them. Just say fuck what your supposed to be and be what you are. No guy actually doesnt cry.[/QUOTE]

which is cool and easy to say but a difficult ideal to live up to. you have to sacrifice a lot to "be what you are" and not everyone is prepared to give that sacrifice.

[Leader of Me]

That girl who I like got back from Melbourne on Friday and I saw her at a gig, things were pretty chilled except her anxiety got worse and she had to go to the doctor's because she had stomach cramps. She told the doctor about her anxiety as well and he said it was because she was sick, when she told me this I told her that she should go to another doctor because that couldn't be the reason and she had a go at me for talking about it. Because I'm fighting OCD at the moment I was pretty on edge at this point in time so I lost my shit and started ranting and I had to ask her about her feelings because she had never given me an honest answer before, she told she didn't have feelings for me which hurt but she said she felt bad for saying it but didn't really worry about how I felt instead she said we can't really control it and didn't worry about it after that. I'm going to try move on from her because shit gets worse from here on.

She marries this guy on Facebook who is trying to get in with her which made me a bit jealous but I decided to warn her because this guy is uses girls, he had sex with his girlfriend at the time and dumped her two days later and I told her this and she didn't believe me at first which annoyed me because she believes a guy she hasn't met before over me. After this, I found out that the guy from Melbourne who she called off having a thing with, even though she didn't tell him this, then when the guy over here called it off with her she went back to him is coming over and he's going to be coming to the gig I'm going to Friday night. I'm catching the train with her and I told her out of respect to please not do anything in front of me. Then, today when I'm trying to make conversation with her I ask her about this Melbourne guy and she asks me "Why does it matter?" and has a go at me again, I told her I was just making conversation and she says "Sorry ah", I then say to her "Get fucked, cunt" and now I feel really bad. I just don't know what to do and it's really hard with all of my problems.

This past month has been really bad for me, my OCD, anxiety, paranoia and BPD has all gotten worse and it's starting to impact on my relationships with people. I feel like I'm losing my friends and I don't know what to do. I really need some help.

[Dysentery]

i don't mean to sound insensitive at all but it doesn't sound like your OCD or anxiety or anything is the issue here, it kind of sounds like you're getting jealous as hell over the fact that a girl you like is talking to another dude. and so what if she's talking to another guy? you're being awfully rude about it. it's her life, she can do what she wants. it's not really your place to tell her who she should or shouldn't talk to, and it definitely isn't your place to say things like that to her

if the cause of this really is all of your listed problems, then see a counselor. otherwise, you should just learn to accept what you can't change and stop overreacting about it

[HighdefGE]

Just a quick question to ask you guys here. So yesterday I was at a city and before I headed back home to my state, I noticed someone cute walking by so I went up to her and we started talking and flirting and etc. She was receptive to me and we exchanged numbers (and facebook later that night). So it turns out she goes to a college 40 minutes away from me in my state and I hit her up that night via texting. My question is if I wanted to meet up with her as a date, how should I word it and where would be an ideal place?

[Jake]

I've been in a fairly stable and healthy relationship for about 9 months now. Any problems we've had arise have been able to be solved by talking it out and finding a solution together. However, the past few weeks have been a little rough.

The girlfriend hasn't had a whole lot of freetime in between work, school, and dance class. She keeps having mood swings around me, sometimes going from happy to extremely pissed off sometimes with no provocation by myself. I try to stay friendly and caring, but she just pushes me away and says that I don't "try enough."

Like today, we were walking out to the parking lot after school and I went to hold her hand. "Nope," she said, "you never go to hold my hand, it's always me, so no, I'm not holding your hand." On the way out, a friend of hers asked if she wanted to go to Taco Bell. Girlfriend asked me and I politely refused because I'm not too terribly hungry.

Then it came, "You never make any effort to see me or hang out with me, you don't even care about me."

I was really confused and asked her what she meant but she just sighed. I walked her out to her car and all she said was:

"Whatever. I'll see you in the stupid half an hour before school starts tomorrow, then."

Again, I am really confused and I've talked to her about the way we've both been acting towards each other lately and sought a solution and everything seemed good until we saw each other at school again. I feel as if the relationship isn't balanced anymore and it's all leaning towards her needs and her emotions and I feel left out. I'd really like to keep going out with her, but all of this negativity and toxicity towards me(though I have to admit I spout it back at her occasionally) is making me doubt how long our relationship can take this. Breaking up with her sounds like a really bad idea because she's had problems with self harm and alcohol plus she sits next to me in a few of my classes.

I don't want to break up with her unless it's absolutely necessary and we both agree on it. Is there anything I can do to help her besides wait it out and be there for her?

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=psychojake;43608790]I've been in a fairly stable and healthy relationship for about 9 months now. Any problems we've had arise have been able to be solved by talking it out and finding a solution together. However, the past few weeks have been a little rough.

The girlfriend hasn't had a whole lot of freetime in between work, school, and dance class. She keeps having mood swings around me, sometimes going from happy to extremely pissed off sometimes with no provocation by myself. I try to stay friendly and caring, but she just pushes me away and says that I don't "try enough."

Like today, we were walking out to the parking lot after school and I went to hold her hand. "Nope," she said, "you never go to hold my hand, it's always me, so no, I'm not holding your hand." On the way out, a friend of hers asked if she wanted to go to Taco Bell. Girlfriend asked me and I politely refused because I'm not too terribly hungry.

Then it came, "You never make any effort to see me or hang out with me, you don't even care about me."

I was really confused and asked her what she meant but she just sighed. I walked her out to her car and all she said was:

"Whatever. I'll see you in the stupid half an hour before school starts tomorrow, then."

Again, I am really confused and I've talked to her about the way we've both been acting towards each other lately and sought a solution and everything seemed good until we saw each other at school again. I feel as if the relationship isn't balanced anymore and it's all leaning towards her needs and her emotions and I feel left out. I'd really like to keep going out with her, but all of this negativity and toxicity towards me(though I have to admit I spout it back at her occasionally) is making me doubt how long our relationship can take this. Breaking up with her sounds like a really bad idea because she's had problems with self harm and alcohol plus she sits next to me in a few of my classes.

I don't want to break up with her unless it's absolutely necessary and we both agree on it. Is there anything I can do to help her besides wait it out and be there for her?[/QUOTE]
break up because she's probably cheating and is trying to put it on to you

in my own experience anyways

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;43609791]break up because she's probably cheating and is trying to put it on to you

in my own experience anyways[/QUOTE]

Yes lets all jump to conclusions without any solid basis

[Kindlinho]

So I just intentionally led myself into a girl's friendzone. I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her, but didn't want to just shut her off and hurt her. And since I already have great experience with the friendzone phenomena, I knew exactly how to proceed. And it worked like a charm! She's happy, because she has a friend and I'm happy, because I didn't pointlessly hurt anyone!

I'm just wondering - is that considered weird for a guy or something? To me it seems like utter pragmatism, but I'm curious about other people's opinions.
And yes, I'm sure about my sexual orientation being hetero.

[Mr. Bleak]

No dude, that's honestly a pretty awesome way to go about it.

I've had a few chick friends that seemed interested in me so I just pulled the "become good friends" card and it worked out great. There's just some girls you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with, and if you appreciate them as friends that's about all you can do.

The last girl that this happened with followed me inside when we were hanging out with a few of our friends and kissed me but hey it still worked out in the end.

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43611661]So I just intentionally led myself into a girl's friendzone. I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her, but didn't want to just shut her off and hurt her. And since I already have great experience with the friendzone phenomena, I knew exactly how to proceed. And it worked like a charm! She's happy, because she has a friend and I'm happy, because I didn't pointlessly hurt anyone!

I'm just wondering - is that considered weird for a guy or something? To me it seems like utter pragmatism, but I'm curious about other people's opinions.
And yes, I'm sure about my sexual orientation being hetero.[/QUOTE]

don't call it friendzone

what you're describing is what normal people call [I]friendship[/I]

just because you're a guy and your friend is a girl doesn't elevate it to some new theoretical field for internet nerds to deconstruct

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43611661]So I just intentionally led myself into a girl's friendzone. I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her, but didn't want to just shut her off and hurt her. And since I already have great experience with the friendzone phenomena, I knew exactly how to proceed. And it worked like a charm! She's happy, because she has a friend and I'm happy, because I didn't pointlessly hurt anyone!

I'm just wondering - is that considered weird for a guy or something? To me it seems like utter pragmatism, but I'm curious about other people's opinions.
And yes, I'm sure about my sexual orientation being hetero.[/QUOTE]

what the hell are you talking about

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43611661][b]So I just intentionally led myself into a girl's friendzone.[/b] I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her, but didn't want to just shut her off and hurt her. And since I already have great experience with the friendzone phenomena, I knew exactly how to proceed. And it worked like a charm! She's happy, because she has a friend and I'm happy, because I didn't pointlessly hurt anyone!

I'm just wondering - is that considered weird for a guy or something? To me it seems like utter pragmatism, but I'm curious about other people's opinions.
And yes, I'm sure about my sexual orientation being hetero.[/QUOTE]

...what?

[NoDachi]

didnt want that girlfriend anyway

[Fire Kracker]

sometimes i wonder how many people think that guys and girls can't be just friends

i remember my ex thought that she couldn't go out to eat with guy friends or hang out with them alone or it would "mean something"

she kept thinking i liked her every time i asked her to go out and do anything or even talk to her casually, i'd make a joke and she'd think that i was just trying to get her to like me again(after i told her i had no more feelings for her, and she said that she trusted me) i was like "I didn't have any feelings for you before when I told you I didn't, and I still don't. Stop trying to find signs in things that mean nothing." then i stopped talking to her

she used to tell me she moved on too, but someone who's moved on doesn't try to look for that many signs of attraction in that other person that they start to make up shit in their mind.

i've never felt such a strong unattraction for someone before

[editline]21st January 2014[/editline]

why do i always date crazy people

[editline]21st January 2014[/editline]

anybody else hate clingy people

i mean i want a mutually exclusive relationship with just me and one person but i don't want to be hounded every second of the day or being accused as soon as i talk to one of my girl friends

or if we chat i don't want to stare at your freakin face for hours while we talk about nothing i want to actually do things

i hate when people get mad or think i'm busy when i do more than one thing at a time, it doesn't matter how much i like you i just don't want to stare at you on a screen for hours while we do nothing but stare at each other such a huge waste of time when we could be doing other things while we talk