Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Kindlinho]

People with reactive sensors for whenever the "friendzone" code appears in this thread didn't disappoint.

At least read it.

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43611661]...but didn't want to just shut her off and hurt her...[/QUOTE]
Which implies [I]she[/I] was interested in me, otherwise she wouldn't feel "hurt". And trust me, it was so obvious that even I recognized it. Not like she tried to hide it. Easy enough?
The "friendzone" was in fact admitted by her (which is how I knew my plan was a success) - she confirmed I was giving out a "good-hearted impression" and that I didn't look like I had any "secondary intentions" or that she hasn't had such a (guy) friend since elementary school.

So the term "friendzone" actually [I]is[/I] relevant in this case.

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43611661]I'm just wondering - is that considered weird for a guy or something?[/QUOTE]
I guess those explain my question as well... :v:
[QUOTE=thisispain;43613036]what the hell are you talking about[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;43613055]...what?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=NoDachi;43613084]didnt want that girlfriend anyway[/QUOTE]

[Fire Kracker]

so all you mean is you turned her down

that's completely normal to be friends with people you turn down

[thisispain]

i just don't really understand?
you mean you made it clear that you wanted to be her friend or something?

[HighdefGE]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;43613326]sometimes i wonder how many people think that guys and girls can't be just friends[/QUOTE]

It's simple. You can't be 'just friends' with someone you're sexually attracted to.

[Leader of Me]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;43606077]i don't mean to sound insensitive at all but it doesn't sound like your OCD or anxiety or anything is the issue here, it kind of sounds like you're getting jealous as hell over the fact that a girl you like is talking to another dude. and so what if she's talking to another guy? you're being awfully rude about it. it's her life, she can do what she wants. it's not really your place to tell her who she should or shouldn't talk to, and it definitely isn't your place to say things like that to her

if the cause of this really is all of your listed problems, then see a counselor. otherwise, you should just learn to accept what you can't change and stop overreacting about it[/QUOTE]

Nah man it's cool, I know I'm jealous and I'm changing how I act because it's not fair on her. I had a pretty bizarre day today. I met up with my friends and the guy from Melbourne came along because he landed here today, he's actually the chillest dude and a really nice guy. He knows what I said to her which is fine and I was a bit embarrassed as I've been acting like a complete twat these past couple of days. I get a message from the girl and she asks me if I've been mean to him and I told her that I haven't and she said to me that "If I liked you and you were with someone really close and you kissed yeah I'd be uncomfortable but it doesn't give me a right to stop you from kissing" and I agreed with her and said I was just asking and it's up to you and she said that she wouldn't do it on purpose. I apologized for the way I treated her and things are all good now and I'm hoping I can move on.

[RocketRacer]

Well, that girl I like situation - I sent her FB messages some time ago and she didn't answer(but haven't 'seen' them either), today after the arts class(minutes ago) I as usual went to her and said 'Hi' and usually we would just start a conversation and go for lunch(her two female friends join us). Today she just straight ignored the greeting and went really fast(probably on purpose, why else if she just met her friend outside and waited for second). I am pretty much fucked in this situation, or am I just overoverover reacting?

[JackAttack]

I don't know what happened guys, i saw the girl again and after i had talked with her for a bit i just thought to myself, "Do i really like her?"

Its amazing to me that after 3 days of thinking about her a lot i completely lost all feelings for her in about 10 minutes.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=HighdefGE;43617115]It's simple. You can't be 'just friends' with someone you're sexually attracted to.[/QUOTE]

And are you sexually attracted to every girl? I fail to see the relevance of that (which I also dissagree with)

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=HighdefGE;43617115]It's simple. You can't be 'just friends' with someone you're sexually attracted to.[/QUOTE]

I've been sexually attracted to most of my female friends.

So what? They're attractive and nice people.

[RocketRacer]

Any ideas on how big did I fuck up?

[Shark Cat]

Okay so this girl I talked to a lot a few months back and really liked started talking to me again recently, after we kinda drifted when she got a boyfriend.

So anyway I guess she broke up with that guy, and seems to go through a fair amount relationships which is a little off-putting since it doesn't seem like it would last long if we ended up together; but she told me yesterday that actually she used to really really like me and was really sad when I "rejected" her (she never told me she liked me) so she moved on - she said "I didn't feel good enough to make it obvious so I just hinted at it because you're really attractive and I'm not at all" when that's exactly how I felt because in reality she's ridiculously attractive in every single way, therefore way out of my league.

That was a real slap in the face, so I ask if there's any way to fix it, she says it's a little too late because she has (another) boyfriend now, but then she says she doesn't want me to get rid of my feelings for her because she still likes me and she's "talking about some time in the future".

Do I wait for her? I don't know how to feel about it.

[Mr. Bleak]

Abort abort abort

Don't wait on something like that, she could easily just be using you for an opportunity. If she jumps from guy to guy pretty regularly, chances are the same thing would happen to you because she's not mature enough for an actual relationship.

It's happened to me, and aside from the minor fun had in the meantime it consists mainly of bullshit and wasted time.

[Shark Cat]

Yeah sorry my post made me seem really clueless but I know she's not very mature.

Should I not even like try it out? I'm not really looking for something too serious, just not something that's really dumb.

[editline] . [/editline]

in my posts: "what do I want?" :v:

[biccboi]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;43618246]I've been sexually attracted to most of my female friends.

So what? They're attractive and nice people.[/QUOTE]

Except you did bang all of them

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;43618444]Any ideas on how big did I fuck up?[/QUOTE]

All you've told us is that you usually say hi to her after class and she left this one time, what are we supposed to discern from that?

[editline]21st January 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43613722]People with reactive sensors for whenever the "friendzone" code appears in this thread didn't disappoint.

At least read it.

Which implies [I]she[/I] was interested in me, otherwise she wouldn't feel "hurt". And trust me, it was so obvious that even I recognized it. Not like she tried to hide it. Easy enough?
The "friendzone" was in fact admitted by her (which is how I knew my plan was a success) - she confirmed I was giving out a "good-hearted impression" and that I didn't look like I had any "secondary intentions" or that she hasn't had such a (guy) friend since elementary school.

So the term "friendzone" actually [I]is[/I] relevant in this case.

I guess those explain my question as well... :v:[/QUOTE]

Regardless of whether the word "friendzone" is objectively correct in your case, you might want to avoid using that word because every time it pops up in this thread someone gets their panties in a bunch about it.

[Kindlinho]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;43622771]
Regardless of whether the word "friendzone" is objectively correct in your case, you might want to avoid using that word because every time it pops up in this thread someone gets their panties in a bunch about it.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I had that in mind when I was posting it. I took the less diplomatic way in trying to be as comprehensible as possible.
I just don't understand why even the mention of the word itself makes the people here explode like that. I don't like when guys use it incorrectly either, but it doesn't make me self-immolate.

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=JohanGS;43621559]Except you did bang all of them[/QUOTE]

shut up

only my [I]best[/I] friends

[Daniel Smith]

My existence is pointless, I want to be an animator but I am too afraid to actually make an animation because a) it might end up being terrible and b) it will end up being unfunny because i have no good ideas.

[Saza]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43623687]My existence is pointless, I want to be an animator but I am too afraid to actually make an animation because a) it might end up being terrible and b) it will end up being unfunny because i have no good ideas.[/QUOTE]

everyone starts somewhere!

when I started playing brass instruments a year ago, I didn't think I'd be a quarter as good as I am now. It was a little embarrassing to hear myself practice. And now, as it stands, I'm second trombone (aka the guy who does solos) in a local jazz band, third chair in the district honor band, and second chair euph in the school band.

Don't be afraid to admit you aren't good at something yet. If you have passion for it, all you need is practice and yes, it's cliche, but practice does make you better. I took an art class two years ago. Couldn't draw for shit and as I kept on ultimately I ended up third place in this one competition and had the piece I drew sent over to Russia for however long. You can do it, friend!

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;43623614]Yeah, I had that in mind when I was posting it. I took the less diplomatic way in trying to be as comprehensible as possible.
I just don't understand why even the mention of the word itself makes the people here explode like that. I don't like when guys use it incorrectly either, but it doesn't make me self-immolate.[/QUOTE]

i'm not exploding i just don't understand???

[Big Dumb Patriot]

I'm living with family for a couple of months while I put things together for my move down to Florida this summer, and my Aunt keeps trying to set me up with one of the girls she works with. The girl is very nice and super funny and personable and whatnot, but I'm just not attracted to her. Mostly because she's quite large. It might sound a bit shallow, but I'm sorry, I'm just not into large women! I'd like to get to know her as a friend, because we had a blast the other night, but I'm a foot taller than this girl, and she still probably has about fifty pounds on me, and that's a big turn-off.

My aunt's all, "what do you think of her?"

And not wanting to be an asshole by telling her that her friend is a bit too rotund for my tastes, I tried to be diplomatic about things. I said, "Well, uh... She's [I]'nice.'[/I]"

Apparently, dearest auntie took my euphemism literally and thought I was expressing interest, and passed that on to the girl. They've been gibber gabbering at work about it. Auntie thinks that the only thing preventing me from asking the girl out thus far is that I'm too shy or nervous to do it, when really I just don't want to! She keeps saying things like, "I introduced you to her, but I can't do all the legwork. You're gonna have to take it from here, dude! I promise she'll say yes."

I'm starting to feel like I've worked my way into a corner, and that the only respectful thing to do is swallow my pride, ask this girl out, and then marry her and spend the rest of our disproportionately-sized lives together.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;43626791]I'm living with family for a couple of months while I put things together for my move down to Florida this summer, and my Aunt keeps trying to set me up with one of the girls she works with. The girl is very nice and super funny and personable and whatnot, but I'm just not attracted to her. Mostly because she's quite large. It might sound a bit shallow, but I'm sorry, I'm just not into large women! I'd like to get to know her as a friend, because we had a blast the other night, but I'm a foot taller than this girl, and she still probably has about fifty pounds on me, and that's a big turn-off.

My aunt's all, "what do you think of her?"

And not wanting to be an asshole by telling her that her friend is a bit too rotund for my tastes, I tried to be diplomatic about things. I said, "Well, uh... She's [I]'nice.'[/I]"

Apparently, dearest auntie took my euphemism literally and thought I was expressing interest, and passed that on to the girl. They've been gibber gabbering at work about it. Auntie thinks that the only thing preventing me from asking the girl out thus far is that I'm too shy or nervous to do it, when really I just don't want to! She keeps saying things like, "I introduced you to her, but I can't do all the legwork. You're gonna have to take it from here, dude! I promise she'll say yes."

I'm starting to feel like I've worked my way into a corner, and that the only respectful thing to do is swallow my pride, ask this girl out, and then marry her and spend the rest of our disproportionately-sized lives together.[/QUOTE]

You don't have to say she's overweight or ugly to express that you don't find her physically attractive. You can just be honest and say you're not romantically interested in her, hopefully your aunt won't think you mean it as an insult.

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;43626791]I'm living with family for a couple of months while I put things together for my move down to Florida this summer, and my Aunt keeps trying to set me up with one of the girls she works with. The girl is very nice and super funny and personable and whatnot, but I'm just not attracted to her. Mostly because she's quite large. It might sound a bit shallow, but I'm sorry, I'm just not into large women! I'd like to get to know her as a friend, because we had a blast the other night, but I'm a foot taller than this girl, and she still probably has about fifty pounds on me, and that's a big turn-off.

My aunt's all, "what do you think of her?"

And not wanting to be an asshole by telling her that her friend is a bit too rotund for my tastes, I tried to be diplomatic about things. I said, "Well, uh... She's [I]'nice.'[/I]"

Apparently, dearest auntie took my euphemism literally and thought I was expressing interest, and passed that on to the girl. They've been gibber gabbering at work about it. Auntie thinks that the only thing preventing me from asking the girl out thus far is that I'm too shy or nervous to do it, when really I just don't want to! She keeps saying things like, "I introduced you to her, but I can't do all the legwork. You're gonna have to take it from here, dude! I promise she'll say yes."

I'm starting to feel like I've worked my way into a corner, and that the only respectful thing to do is swallow my pride, ask this girl out, and then marry her and spend the rest of our disproportionately-sized lives together.[/QUOTE]

or pretend you're gay for the rest of your life

[Memnoth]

Oh God, where do I begin?

So, I have bipolar disorder which is a psychotic mood disorder. 6 months ago I helped a girl through a depression after breaking up with her boyfriend, and I accidentally fell in love with her. So we started to hang out, and decided to go to my apartment, we took some amphetamine, benzodiazepines and had a couple of beers. She also has a serious case of OCD.

The thing is, I had a psychosis before they broke up where I threatened to have sex with his girlfriend over a text-message, I also threatened to find him and beat him up since I know Shaolin Kung Fu. And guess what, she read through my text-messages for some reason, so she saw the threatening messages I had sent which I had completely forgot about. We then decided to have a cigarette on my balcony, where I wanted to tell her that I had feelings for her, so I said "I like you.", and with the messages on her mind she simply went "I like you too, but not in that way." in the most rejecting voice possible. So I asked her if she wanted to go to an amusement park, keep in mind I was completely whacked on drugs just to overcome the fear of proclaiming my feelings for her. She said in a loud voice: "I don't have any feelings for you!". She was even more whacked than I was.

This is where things got weird, there was this shared emotion of things being strange between us. I asked her anyway if she wanted to go to the amusement park over facebook, she replied: "I don't knooow, everything became so weird after the messages you sent to him and then you told me that you like me."

Then all hell broke loose, another bipolar psychosis had taken over me. So for some reason I decided to message her on facebook, all the time, every day, for months. She was so mad at me, she stopped answering but I kept texting her for another month. In the end, the psychosis took over and I started to hallucinate, I thought I was being followed and I thought I was the reincarnation of Jesus. I almost texted her that I'm Jesus Christ, thank god I didn't.

Well, I ended up in a hospital and for some reason my feelings for her disappeared. Then another girl started hitting on me in the psychiatric clinic. I will never again respond to a girl hitting on me that's in a psychiatric clinic. Apparently, she too had just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was confused about being lonely I suppose. But she was so emotionally distant like she had gone through some kind of trauma, and she was so insecure about what she wanted or who she wanted. Did I back off? Nope. Idiot. I ended up falling for her too and we haven't even met since we left the hospital. She said these contradictory things when I called her, like she was busy so we couldn't meet up. Then she told me that she's tired of not having any plans so she mostly spent time doing nothing. What kind of lunatic is this?

Then I fell into a bipolar depression and ended up in the hospital yet again, and guess what, I met another girl there. So we started to hang out playing league of legends in my apartment for 3 days straight tweaked on amphetamine. But she was so absent minded and confused about who she was. She ended up spilling pizza all over her clothes, so she had to borrow some of my clothes. Then she had some kind of meltdown lying down in my bed crying. She was also homeless. So now I have this woman in my bed, with my clothes on that has nowhere to go. I tried hitting on her, and for some reason she decided to live in another friends apartment. I haven't even gotten my clothes back.

She also had anger management issues, like me falling asleep next to her on the couch whilst we were watching a movie, she punched straight into my wardrobe because she didn't want to hear me snore. That was scary.

Though we spent some magical time together, cuddling on my couch, taking a walk in the middle of the night, sitting on a bench holding hands and meditating, sleeping in the same bed without even kissing or touching each other. Maybe my method of hitting on her girl was... awkward, since I also have Asperger Syndrome. Though I told her this on facebook and that I have to make mistakes in order to learn how to understand what is convenient behavior. She only responded "Okay".

I don't have feelings for her yet, but I really like her. Even though she loses her temper over such a small thing as me hugging her too tight and for too long, or me accidentally asking her three times if she wants a cheese-sandwich.
- I DON'T WANT A SANDWICH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ME 37 TIMES"
- uh sorry.

Why am I attracted to insane women?

[Dysentery]

doesn't sound like combining these psychoses with drugs and alcohol is a very good idea

as for the first girl she seems completely sane, calling her whacked out is kind of a stretch considering the circumstances

[Memnoth]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;43631138]doesn't sound like combining these psychoses with drugs and alcohol is a very good idea[/QUOTE]

This was before I knew I had bipolar disorder, now I'm on 5 different medications to keep me stable.

[QUOTE=Dysentery;43631138]as for the first girl she seems completely sane, calling her whacked out is kind of a stretch considering the circumstances[/QUOTE]

As English is my second language, I inferred that whacked out meant heavily affected by drugs.

[Loopoo]

Today was such a huge ego-boost. Two things happened that made me feel really good about myself. As some of you may remember, I've undergone operations and shit for my eyebrow, since I was about 15 (I am 21 now!). I've always had self-esteem issues, but it's been buried deep. I'm a naturally confident and cheery person, so people usually don't seem to think of me as someone who lacks self-esteem and I don't let it hinder me too much (except for the fact that I hate photos and avoid them like the plague, and also only really vent to close friends about my insecurities).

Anyways, today in Uni, we're all getting to know each other since we started just three days ago. I was with a group of guys and girls and we were all laughing and joking. One guy came into the group and we shook hands and introduced ourselves, everyone's super friendly, it's awesome. Fast forward about five minutes, and this guy just turns to me five minutes later (after I'd cracked a joke) and tells me "As a bro, I gotta tell you, these two girls like you and think you're cute" (they were Chinese and I'm pretty sure they're friends with the guy, so it wasn't said in a bad way). It was seriously unexpected, and the two girls got really embarrassed and told him what the hell was he doing, and sort of jokingly slapped his arm. I just laughed it off and said "Cheers for making it awkward" but then winked at the two girls and told em it was okay. We all sort of just shrugged it off and started talking about normal shit again, and I couldn't help but cheer up at the thought of people thinking I was good looking?

I am 100% sure it's a mix of 1) my accent and 2) my personality that makes people like me, because I really can't wrap my head around the thought of me perhaps passing as good looking. It's cray.

Second thing was at the end of the day when I was in this Burrito place waiting in line. Some girl was behind me in the queue and our orders got mixed up at the till, and the cashier and us two were laughing. When the woman behind the till asked if we were paying together, we both looked at each other and said "Uhh, no!" and it was pretty funny. The cashier told us that she thought we looked good together.

Basically, despite the fact I'm convinced of my extraordinary ordinary looks, it seems other people don't think the same. Going so long believing yourself to be hideous yet finding out that people find you attractive is an indescribably nice feeling. I feel like a Princess. Everyone deserves to feel like a Princess.

[editline]22nd January 2014[/editline]

I haven't got a clue why I'm posting here, since it's not really groundbreaking news, but I figured it's the Super Friendly thread, why not? I know a few people who frequent this thread, and it's nice to think that maybe this good news would cheer you up (cause you all love me so much, right?).

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=Saza;43624148]everyone starts somewhere!

when I started playing brass instruments a year ago, I didn't think I'd be a quarter as good as I am now. It was a little embarrassing to hear myself practice. And now, as it stands, I'm second trombone (aka the guy who does solos) in a local jazz band, third chair in the district honor band, and second chair euph in the school band.

Don't be afraid to admit you aren't good at something yet. If you have passion for it, all you need is practice and yes, it's cliche, but practice does make you better. I took an art class two years ago. Couldn't draw for shit and as I kept on ultimately I ended up third place in this one competition and had the piece I drew sent over to Russia for however long. You can do it, friend![/QUOTE]

I'm trying, I made something but it's [URL="http://i.imgur.com/UcDKItR.gif"]nothing special[/URL], well at least I'm trying now. Thanks.

[JackAttack]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;43632685]I'm trying, I made something but it's [URL="http://i.imgur.com/UcDKItR.gif"]nothing special[/URL], well at least I'm trying now. Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Looks like a person, know whats going on, solid loop. you're right, it's nothing special but it is something. If i were you i'd keep doing this and keep practicing. Better than anything i could do out of nothing.

[Mr. Bleak]

I used to always think I was ugly but since I've dropped a bit of weight I think I'm on the fairly attractive side of the scale.

I mean, there's this dude I went to high school with that looks like Brad Pitt and I know I'm nowhere near that level of attractiveness but I see all kinds of people around that I find myself better looking than.

Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No doubt someone will find something in anyone.