Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
well obviously challenge him to a bro-off under the bro rules of broduct
i dont really know what you want to do still, you could take him aside and say "bro you totally snaked me" but tbh its a party and you don't own this girl, she picked him over you bro
party rules superseded bro rules
sorry should be more clear
already knew this girl, and he already knew that i was going to make a move on her
hell i even invited her over
and by party i mean like some guys and a few girls (at most like 12 people)
its not exactly the same as if it was some random chick
hell, if that was the case i couldnt give two shits about it
if you cared that much about her youd like ask her out, not invite her to a party that's not fair to her actually
Ahh to HellSoldier, you don't really have any right to a girl just because you were talking to them first or hitting it off. Its dog eat dog, you should have made a move faster. This is going to happen a lot in your life and so you shouldn't think too much of it.
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;40103487]Long story short my friend completely snaked the girl I was hitting on in a party. I was going off really well with her, had to leave to get something (house party so needed some supplies) and I come back to my friend and this girl making out. Then he took her home. Currently feeling really pissed at him.
What do[/QUOTE]
guess what
it's the girl's decision which one of you she likes more
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;40103505]the guy knew i was going after her but then he snakes me anyway
sort of a 'not bro' thing to do
yknow[/QUOTE]
TBH it's your fault for not making a move before him.
Not only is it your lack of assertiveness that cost you your opportunity, but you are also the one being the asshole in this situation, not your bro, because you were being possessive of someone else (the girl) when really she's just another human being AND you are being an asshole towards your friend by expecting him to just sit there and twiddle his thumbs while you make moves on a girl he is also attracted to.
Really the only way to be fair about situation like this is competition. If she chooses him over you, bad luck move on.
And ultimately you probably should've made it clear to her that you were attracted sooner. Your friend did in the space of an hour (I'm assuming) what was taking you days/weeks to do.
I love someone but they don't live near me, and I am scared of long distance. Any suggestions?
-nevermindiwasanidiot-
[QUOTE=James xX;40105018]I love someone but they don't live near me, and I am scared of long distance. Any suggestions?[/QUOTE]
it's perfectly understandable to be scared of a long distance relationship at first, but if you're committed and have strong feelings towards them then you'll adapt to it over time. a long distance relationship can be very maturing in some cases, and getting rid of that fear might be useful in the future.
you haven't really given a lot to go off of though (in terms of detail) so that's the best i can do.
[QUOTE=Bobie;40105066]it's perfectly understandable to be scared of a long distance relationship at first, but if you're committed and have strong feelings towards them then you'll adapt to it over time. a long distance relationship can be very maturing in some cases, and getting rid of that fear might be useful in the future.
you haven't really given a lot to go off of though (in terms of detail) so that's the best i can do.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the advice, it really helps.
Hey guys, I have something that is bothering me. What I'm asking is if you'd consider this a fair reason to feel uncomfortable.
My girlfriend of 2years(long distance me=uk her=denmark; moving in together end of year) told me the other night she's going to a male friend's house, she hasn't spoke to this guy in years; old school friend. I asked what she was planning to do, she said she was going to watch a movie/ have a few drinks. Then she told me she was spending the night. I trust my girlfriend 100% so I pretty much said, "I hope you enjoy yourself, relax and have a good time." But I can't shake off this slightly uneasy feeling over the situation.
What are your thoughts? Are my feelings reasonable?
I have this class with a friend and this chick, who I sit with. So the other day I get her number and tell my friend, he's like "cool, man". Next day, very first thing he does is come to our table, asking her if she has a snapchat (if you don't know like I didn't a few weeks ago, it's an app that let's you chat using pictures, basically, and you need the person's number to use it), and then he asks for her number. They've been "snapchatting" for like a week and now they're *kind of * going out.
Is it still my fault because I didn't make a move first?
[QUOTE=luigi1107;40105106]Hey guys, I have something that is bothering me. What I'm asking is if you'd consider this a fair reason to feel uncomfortable.
My girlfriend of 2years(long distance me=uk her=denmark; moving in together end of year) told me the other night she's going to a male friend's house, she hasn't spoke to this guy in years; old school friend. I asked what she was planning to do, she said she was going to watch a movie/ have a few drinks. Then she told me she was spending the night. I trust my girlfriend 100% so I pretty much said, "I hope you enjoy yourself, relax and have a good time." But I can't shake off this slightly uneasy feeling over the situation.
What are your thoughts? Are my feelings reasonable?[/QUOTE]
Yea reasonable of course, just roll with it.
[QUOTE=luigi1107;40105106]Hey guys, I have something that is bothering me. What I'm asking is if you'd consider this a fair reason to feel uncomfortable.
My girlfriend of 2years(long distance me=uk her=denmark; moving in together end of year) told me the other night she's going to a male friend's house, she hasn't spoke to this guy in years; old school friend. I asked what she was planning to do, she said she was going to watch a movie/ have a few drinks. Then she told me she was spending the night. I trust my girlfriend 100% so I pretty much said, "I hope you enjoy yourself, relax and have a good time." But I can't shake off this slightly uneasy feeling over the situation.
What are your thoughts? Are my feelings reasonable?[/QUOTE]
No need to feel guilty for worrying about your girlfriend, even if there's not much to worry about as you said
So about a month ago, my girlfriend of 1+ years broke up with me. Now that by itself I'm slowly getting over, but there's some things that're just slowly gnawing at me, no matter what I try to do to avoid it. Like, a week later, she jumps into another relationship, and to be (and other friends) she's changed a lot. She's insensitive a lot and completely uncaring.
It's just killing me because try as I might to at least keep her as a friend, she's making it incredibly difficult because of how much she's changed. I hate seeing the girl I loved turning into such a shitty person.
Now, on another topic, how do I stop letting loneliness affect me so negatively. I'm terrible at social interactions, so I'm terrible at asking people to hang out and simply keep me from getting lonely and depressed.
/rant
[QUOTE=dmillerw;40106401]So about a month ago, my girlfriend of 1+ years broke up with me. Now that by itself I'm slowly getting over, but there's some things that're just slowly gnawing at me, no matter what I try to do to avoid it. Like, a week later, she jumps into another relationship, and to be (and other friends) she's changed a lot. She's insensitive a lot and completely uncaring.
It's just killing me because try as I might to at least keep her as a friend, she's making it incredibly difficult because of how much she's changed. I hate seeing the girl I loved turning into such a shitty person.
Now, on another topic, how do I stop letting loneliness affect me so negatively. I'm terrible at social interactions, so I'm terrible at asking people to hang out and simply keep me from getting lonely and depressed.
/rant[/QUOTE]
One of my ex's who I went out with for exactly a year did the same thing, but honestly, it's her choice of what she wants to do.
You should probably distance yourself from her, IMO.
Ask your friends to hangout, its probably the best way to get over the lonelyness, I know it's hard but it will be best for you.
Also do all the things that you love that you couldn't do in the relationship for one reason or another, it's a great way to get your mind off things and feel happy again.
[editline]31st March 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=luigi1107;40105106]Hey guys, I have something that is bothering me. What I'm asking is if you'd consider this a fair reason to feel uncomfortable.
My girlfriend of 2years(long distance me=uk her=denmark; moving in together end of year) told me the other night she's going to a male friend's house, she hasn't spoke to this guy in years; old school friend. I asked what she was planning to do, she said she was going to watch a movie/ have a few drinks. Then she told me she was spending the night. I trust my girlfriend 100% so I pretty much said, "I hope you enjoy yourself, relax and have a good time." But I can't shake off this slightly uneasy feeling over the situation.
What are your thoughts? Are my feelings reasonable?[/QUOTE]
I think that everything is/will be okay! You feelings are pretty reasonable though, I'd be kind of worried too.
Went on a date with a girl yesterday, it went really well, we kissed at the end...
I text her last night saying i had an awesome time etc.... She hasn't replied since and I'm going kinda crazy here. I don't want to send another text because I'm worried about coming off as needy. Whatdo?
[editline]31st March 2013[/editline]
Okay so I just read that back and realised how stupid I'm being it's only been a day she's probably busy or something I'm being a faggot
She realized you sucked ass at kissing and regrets it.
does anybody have any ideas on how to get motivated?
I haven't had any motivation in my life ever.
I just want to go fix up my car, make some good friends, do things with my life, but I just don't have the motivation...
I'm guessing you'll all laugh at me for posting this, but fuck, I've never been motivated to do anything with my life ever, but I don't want to do nothing with my life.
No dude I know how you feel.
To be honest I'm still looking for an answer to that question too...
Sounds like you might be stressing yourself out a bit with all this, I know I have.
Try writing a list of small goals you want to accomplish and start there? I tried that and it got the ball rolling, slowly but surely.
I hope you find some motivation Psygo.
[QUOTE=Psygo;40108401]does anybody have any ideas on how to get motivated?
I haven't had any motivation in my life ever.
I just want to go fix up my car, make some good friends, do things with my life, but I just don't have the motivation...
I'm guessing you'll all laugh at me for posting this, but fuck, I've never been motivated to do anything with my life ever, but I don't want to do nothing with my life.[/QUOTE]
Pick small goals. "Today I will go for a walk" instead of "I'll start exercising regularly". Exercising regularly is of course the larger goal but having smaller goals within is easier to achieve and can keep you motivated rather than getting overwhelmed.
Once you've got goals it comes down to forcing yourself to do them. You could try making a list on the wall of things you want to do and make yourself check one of those off every day. Once you start achieving things it can keep you going.
If your someone who has a problem with excuses, also make a list of common excuses with a maximum number equal to how many things you want to get done. You can use each excuse once and then cross it off, it can't be used again.
Ooh Rhenae the excuse list is a good idea, I think I'll use that!
Thank you.
[QUOTE=Tennisball;40107397]Went on a date with a girl yesterday, it went really well, we kissed at the end...
I text her last night saying i had an awesome time etc.... She hasn't replied since and I'm going kinda crazy here. I don't want to send another text because I'm worried about coming off as needy. Whatdo?
[editline]31st March 2013[/editline]
Okay so I just read that back and realised how stupid I'm being it's only been a day she's probably busy or something I'm being a faggot[/QUOTE]
Not everybody immediately responds to texts right away and sometimes at all depending on how important it was.
sounds like some pretty solid advice, I'm just not sure what else to put as a goal other than "go work on car" just yet, but I'll try to think of some.
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;40108502]Not everybody immediately responds to texts right away and sometimes at all depending on how important it was.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, if she doesn't respond till later today you could always try texting her something like "do you wanna hang out again some time soon?" since it isn't a repeat of the same but makes a good continue.
It's easy to miss texts too with some phones, like my bfs if he checks any messages it clears his notifications for all of them.
[editline]31st March 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Psygo;40108524]sounds like some pretty solid advice, I'm just not sure what else to put as a goal other than "go work on car" just yet, but I'll try to think of some.[/QUOTE]
Making some friends was also something you mentioned, maybe try adding "research local clubs/groups" :)
[QUOTE=dmillerw;40106401]So about a month ago, my girlfriend of 1+ years broke up with me. Now that by itself I'm slowly getting over, but there's some things that're just slowly gnawing at me, no matter what I try to do to avoid it. Like, a week later, she jumps into another relationship, and to be (and other friends) she's changed a lot. She's insensitive a lot and completely uncaring.
It's just killing me because try as I might to at least keep her as a friend, she's making it incredibly difficult because of how much she's changed. I hate seeing the girl I loved turning into such a shitty person.
Now, on another topic, how do I stop letting loneliness affect me so negatively. I'm terrible at social interactions, so I'm terrible at asking people to hang out and simply keep me from getting lonely and depressed.
/rant[/QUOTE]
Man, the exact same thing happened to me once and it shattered me. Took me months to get over it and I ended up drinking a hell of a lot. Told her I was never going to speak to her again - and kept that promise. Haven't said a word to her in like 1 and half years. She went on a date with this guy on the day that she and I were meant to meet up to give each other's stuff back and talk it over. She stood me up, so I went and interrupted their date and had a good old rant at her :v:
I can't say that what I did was entirely rational or reasonable but there is one thing that you gotta understand - when people do this, and you're put in this situation, the ball is in your court. Your friends will understand and support you no matter how you react. Try to do the mature thing though. don't be me
So I like this girl and she likes me, but according to my friend, she "hates having a boyfriend". He keeps telling me how she isn't the relationship-kind of person, and how she wouldn't be my girlfriend but she would go out with me, and all kinds of things that makes me even doubt she would be somebody I want to date honestly. She's apparently into hookups and all that, and I actually want a decently serious relationship, so I'm confused on how I should handle this. She texts me almost every day, but never says more than "hey" at school, rarely. I'm kind of just losing interest because I don't want to kind-of-but-not-really go out with a sex toy.
[QUOTE=PyroCraz3d;40112301]So I like this girl and she likes me, but according to my friend, she "hates having a boyfriend". He keeps telling me how she isn't the relationship-kind of person, and how she wouldn't be my girlfriend but she would go out with me, and all kinds of things that makes me even doubt she would be somebody I want to date honestly. She's apparently into hookups and all that, and I actually want a decently serious relationship, so I'm confused on how I should handle this. She texts me almost every day, but never says more than "hey" at school, rarely. I'm kind of just losing interest because I don't want to kind-of-but-not-really go out with a sex toy.[/QUOTE]
If you want a relationship with her you should pursue it and hear that she "hates having a boyfriend" from her, not your friend. There are multiple reasons that she could have said that to your friend.
Every time I find out a girl likes me, I suddenly become really awkward around them and avoid them and even avoid eye contact for some reason. I seem to only get along with girls that I know for sure don't like me. I don't know why that happens.
[QUOTE=Electroholic;40113351]Every time I find out a girl likes me, I suddenly become really awkward around them and avoid them and even avoid eye contact for some reason. I seem to only get along with girls that I know for sure don't like me. I don't know why that happens.[/QUOTE]
You get shy and start worrying about what they think of you.
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