Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[chinatown]

its people like you that make girls in general not want to be more open about their sex experience. Just be fucking non-judgemental, and if you can't live with that then dont say anything because who cares

[shauntp]

I recognize it's inappropriate to feel that way and I was simply asking for someone's opinion whether or not I should say something or just leave it. I'm not judging her, I specifically said it was because of my past. You're right I was going about it in an immature way but is the "people like me" comment really necessary?

[Squidman]

[QUOTE=shauntp;43835334]I'm not fucking judging her. She has every right to do whatever she wants. Her telling me about it was making me uncomfortable considering how I used to feel. I recognize it's inappropriate to feel that way and I was simply asking for someone's opinion whether or not I should.[/QUOTE]

I had a female friend who used to give me the rubdown rundown about her sexual escapades as well. If you want her to stop just go into grotesque detail about your sexual encounters and she will never bring it up again.

For example, she brings up having sweaty sex in a car, you cheerfully bring up masturbating to anthropomorphic animals with alligator clamps attached to your nipples. Or tell her you fucked that guy before she did, so she got sloppy seconds. Never let somebody else make you feel uncomfortable, that's your job.

If you are having trouble thinking of any especially sick shit to weird her out over, go to deviantart for inspiration.

[IlluminatiRex]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;43832153]They might snapcout of it after your 19. My parents (mostly mum) were very similar till then. Then suddenly they dropped ot all and I can do whatever.[/QUOTE]
I'm not going to be able to survive another year and a half of this, so I'm not going to take that,chance.

[nox]

Yesterday this cute girl from work approached me and asked where I've been the last couple days (I was out sick), it was nice of her to notice and all, but the funny thing is we don't even see each other or talk on a daily basis so I'm curious why she'd be taking notice of my absence. Maybe she's just very...perceptive? :v:

[shauntp]

[QUOTE=Squidman;43835460]I had a female friend who used to give me the rubdown rundown about her sexual escapades as well. If you want her to stop just go into grotesque detail about your sexual encounters and she will never bring it up again.

For example, she brings up having sweaty sex in a car, you cheerfully bring up masturbating to anthropomorphic animals with alligator clamps attached to your nipples. Or tell her you fucked that guy before she did, so she got sloppy seconds. Never let somebody else make you feel uncomfortable, that's your job.

If you are having trouble thinking of any especially sick shit to weird her out over, go to deviantart for inspiration.[/QUOTE]

Thanks man, on my phone and accidentally rated wrongly, imagine you have three funnies though.

[Heigou]

Gotta vent here a bit ladies, the read is not necessary.

So I'll make it short, fuck winter, I can't wait for it to be done, I wish I lived down south instead of up here in Canada. I mentioned in this thread before about being totally fine being lonely and having no friends and no significant other. That was a bit of a lie, it's more like I'm really good at distracting myself away from the fact that I have no friends, I come from a broken family and that I don't belong anywhere. It's not as much of a problem in Spring and Summer because I can go out and do my own things so I distract myself from it, however in winter I'm pretty much stuck in my home and it fucking sucks I can't find enough ways to distract myself, as much as I try to do stuff like read, play games, play guitar and what not, I can't help it.

I spent more than half my life in the hospital and skipped over most of my childhood and teenage years because of it and as such I have next to no social skills, I'm not socially awkward but I simply can't relate to anyone which makes connections very hard to come by. I resent myself for it, I resent myself for things out of my control and that in turn makes me angry about myself so it's just a perpetual circle of shit.

I probably made little to no sense here, just a quick venting, I didn't feel like making a whole essay that I get graded on or something so yeah.

tl;dr, fuck winter, give me a flamethrower so that I can burn this white shit down

[Mr. Bleak]

The last girl I was involved with told me pretty much all of her sexual experiences in graphic detail, and apparently she was ashamed of a few of them. She then fucked me over fairly badly so I have no problem getting a few laughs telling them to people. If you don't want people to know you have a diaper fetish, don't tell someone that's not going to give a shit about your privacy after you do something bad to them.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Heigou;43838878]Gotta vent here a bit ladies, the read is not necessary.

So I'll make it short, fuck winter, I can't wait for it to be done, I wish I lived down south instead of up here in Canada. I mentioned in this thread before about being totally fine being lonely and having no friends and no significant other. That was a bit of a lie, it's more like I'm really good at distracting myself away from the fact that I have no friends, I come from a broken family and that I don't belong anywhere. It's not as much of a problem in Spring and Summer because I can go out and do my own things so I distract myself from it, however in winter I'm pretty much stuck in my home and it fucking sucks I can't find enough ways to distract myself, as much as I try to do stuff like read, play games, play guitar and what not, I can't help it.

I spent more than half my life in the hospital and skipped over most of my childhood and teenage years because of it and as such I have next to no social skills, I'm not socially awkward but I simply can't relate to anyone which makes connections very hard to come by. I resent myself for it, I resent myself for things out of my control and that in turn makes me angry about myself so it's just a perpetual circle of shit.

I probably made little to no sense here, just a quick venting, I didn't feel like making a whole essay that I get graded on or something so yeah.

tl;dr, fuck winter, give me a flamethrower so that I can burn this white shit down[/QUOTE]

is winter phisically stopping you from meeting new people? Just go out and get involved, practice relating to other people and showing empathy or whatever. There's no excuse

[Kindlinho]

It's more like that winter is stopping him from doing things that help him deal with his unsatisfying social life. I guess spending some time in the countryside, going for a walk helps him cope with it.

But of course the real problem is that he's unhappy with his social life. Also I can relate to that "circle of shit". I often feel like a sociopath, because I seriously can't emotionally connect with anyone. I hate myself for not being able to be like the others and create relationships easily like everyone else does. So I guess I know what he's talking about. I think I even stepped up his distract-myself game, knowing that I actually like winter.

Anyway I don't know where exactly in Canada he's from, but unless his house is under a ton of snow, he can still do (with people even) stuff indoors. Well, I don't know, make winter an asset instead?

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43839079]is winter phisically stopping you from meeting new people? Just go out and get involved, practice relating to other people and showing empathy or whatever. There's no excuse[/QUOTE]

I live in the North and anything north of the Border and the major cities means that you're living in bumfuck nowhere when it comes to Canada and there's snow up to my head everywhere, the roads are shit and etc, going out is really hard in the winter.

Though to be honest even in summer I don't go out and meet people, I can just do more of the things I like and as such I forget that I'm a lonely fuck and I actually feel decent.

[chinatown]

honestly I dont really understand. I mean I do, with the whole winter thing but still.

I know you work out, you hang out in the weightlifting thread too and Ill assume you know more than I do about that. So if you do lift weights and shit, and made progress throughout the years, you should know that its something that requires discipline and dedication, and if you stop doing it and start making excuses you wont get anywhere right? So why dont you apply what you learned there to the rest of your life?

[Heigou]

I don't know, I use the excuse of my past as I'm 22 and spent the first ~14 years of my life in the hospital with little to no social interactions outside of terminally ill patients and doctors and as I come from a broken family, I never got that help and entourage from having a family and friends to get me to become something good.

I try but I have a noticeably harder time than most people who actually went through a normal childhood.

The iron doesn't talk back and just listens to what you say without judgement.

[chinatown]

I feel you man but everybody has to start somewhere. Im not the most popular guy in my social circles but reflecting on how I was before, I made a lot of progress because I tried. I didn't want to live like a social outcast anymore, or being seen as one of the weird wild kids but rather a respectable person who is still unique nonetheless. And slowly everyday with every interaction I get better and better. And even though I didnt spend my life in a hospital, I did grow up as an asian kid in europe who didn't understand language or culture.
I dont think I have to explain you why you should act now, you already know how it works. If you don't hit the weights you won't grow. If you just make excuses you wont get anywhere

[Kindlinho]

I'm 20, I don't come from a broken family (although I don't let my parents know anything about my life), didn't spend that much time in a hospital, yet I never really continuously socially interacted with people like they're used to. The weird thing is that I'm not even shy, I'm more of an exhibitionist.

The only social relations of mine are those which were pretty much forced upon me back in elementary and high school. None of these people even know I exist nowadays (they only contact me when they need something).

Except my long-time crush who rejected me, but - sorry for the cheesy definition - the bond was too strong and we're still good friends, although we only communicate through Facebook and never see each other in person. Then there are people I'm meeting at regular events like ice-hockey games or when I go to play floorball - but those relations are very shallow. Basically just: "Hi, how are you? Have you heard that blabla... ok, bye." Emotional disconnection at its best.

Now I'm at college, I'm commuting and there's only one person I keep in touch with - and that's just because I need her in case I miss a lecture and need to catch up. I had numerous people call me "distant", mostly girls. Including the crush-friend, luckily we're really open in terms of communication so it wasn't that hard to make her understand why I might seem "distant" to her.

So after making all the math, there's only one person in my life I actually care about. I mean the female friend who's not even my crush anymore, I just got over it somehow.

It's kind of frustrating and confusing when you're telling yourself to find friends, then you keep trying and you're just never feeling it. You realize you don't care about those people and that maintaining conversation drains you very quickly. It might be that I just attract people that don't fit me, though.

Anyway, you seem like you actually WANT to go out and meet people, you're just uncomfortable coming out of your shell. I know that as I'm a very routine-based person. Changes are not always bad. The three words "Just do it!" keep coming to my mind, so I'll just type them, even though it's a well-known advertising slogan.

Because you can't get stuck in your past, having a bad childhood doesn't condemn you to feel bad for the rest of your life.[I] ***Pop Culture Intermezzo*** [/I]Same as being born black doesn't mean you'll be black forever, MJ - never forget. And yes, I know he was sick.

You can start anywhere, anytime. It's all about changing your approach and directing your activity. Sure, some things won't come so naturally as with most of the people, but that doesn't mean in any way that you can't adapt.

P. S.
- I might not care much about others, but I can still respect them, so it's not like I see myself as a beast / monster / psycho / whatever. Just to be clear on this.
- Also, my hobbies include flirting with pretty girls - I'm an ordinary man in this area at least.

[Heigou]

I'm very empathetic with people and I'm the first one to jump to their rescue, it's more the fact that I'm afraid of creating personal connections with them, the closest I get to people is that third party person who's just there for the emotional support and wise words.

[Kindlinho]

Shit, are you me? Anyway, the advice still stands - if you're not happy (and you said that having no friends bothers you), make adjustments. I personally find it easier to "connect" with girls. Try them, maybe? To me it seems like your main focus lies in distracting yourself from being lonely instead of trying to make friends. You just keep postponing the recurring epiphany of loneliness that always comes back and tells you you're not happy.

You just need to shake the fear off, what's the worst thing that could happen if you open up to people? It's not like they're gonna murder you, besides other people have [B]a lot[/B] of mistakes too. Everyone's vulnerable.

[Branflakes]

I'm sure I'm over thinking this but there's this girl in one of my uni classes that I've started to have feelings for. I have a problem of starting conversations besides the usual "hey" or "hows it going". Other thing is that shes pretty shy too, what would be the best thing to do? Just strike up a regular conversion to loosen things up?

[chinatown]

when a girl is being shy to me I like to call her out on that.
"I see you're nervous around me, and I understand: Its not often that you see men so awesome as me"

[Ignatius]

About 2 weeks my ex gf told me that she missed me and wanted to have a talk. We never got around to it, but today my parents were gone and I asked her if she wanted to come over and finally have that talk.

She pretty much told me that she is (again) having feelings for another person and are talking to them. I'm getting kind of tired of this. I had just gotten over her when she told me she missed me, which reignited quite a bit of feelings. And this isn't the first time she's done this.

Girls are brutal.

[loppan997]

Solved : I didn't know what vodo power stuff has.

[Branflakes]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43847928]when a girl is being shy to me I like to call her out on that.
"I see you're nervous around me, and I understand: Its not often that you see men so awesome as me"[/QUOTE]

That's not necessary what I had in mind.

[Kindlinho]

[QUOTE=loppan997;43851177][B]Hellu..[/B]
[I]- I have no idea what the fuck is going on.[/I][/QUOTE]
No offense, but even your avatar is staring creepily at me. You don't need to hypnotize people, if you're uncomfortable looking people in the eyes, just give them an occasional look. Of course, don't take it to the other extreme which is staring into the ground. And most importantly - smile. And I don't mean the creepy psycho kind of smile, but the chilled out, honest, friendly, warming and human one. There's another pretty important detail - make sure your eyes are emitting the same emotions. I know it may sound like utter bullshit, but trust me - it does wonders.

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=iggy650;43850895]About 2 weeks my ex gf told me that she missed me and wanted to have a talk. We never got around to it, but today my parents were gone and I asked her if she wanted to come over and finally have that talk.

She pretty much told me that she is (again) having feelings for another person and are talking to them. I'm getting kind of tired of this. I had just gotten over her when she told me she missed me, which reignited quite a bit of feelings. And this isn't the first time she's done this.

Girls are brutal.[/QUOTE]
hurt her back

if she ever says she misses you again just say that you don't and that you've moved on, regardless of your own feelings

it'll make her stop, even if she isnt hurt by it

[ramirez!]

[QUOTE=loppan997;43851177][B]Hellu..[/B]
You see;
I normally don't create eye contact because I'm really shy. So I just answear it and await my gaze partner to break it.

This has worked ever since I started actually look into peoples eyes.. But this one day she just covers her face and acuced me of [B]staring[/B].
[/I][/QUOTE]

nope nope nope nope

Please don't do what you do ever again. Eye contact is only okay for like two seconds after it happens.

[editline]9th February 2014[/editline]

unless of course you're really close with them.

[Hole]

Hello! I just moved to Sacramento and it's kind of difficult socializing for me which is a bad mix, now I don't know what to do, how to find new people to meet as friends, or places to go to chill at. Everything was basically given to me where I was born, (not like given by other people but like grew into it)

And now it feels like it's impossible to meet others and going out/hanging out

Anyone have experience with this?

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;43853774]hurt her back

if she ever says she misses you again just say that you don't and that you've moved on, regardless of your own feelings

it'll make her stop, even if she isnt hurt by it[/QUOTE]

Bad advice. Don't sink to another person's level and don't even plan to "hurt another person back" no matter what they've done.

Iggy I think you just need to move on dude. Don't let what she says affect you and don't get your hopes up. Move on. Don't be a dick about it though, just move on.

[Squidman]

[QUOTE=loppan997;43851177][B]Hellu..[/B]

Since I am one of the younger users on this forum, I think it'd be a good idea to see what yu guys with more experience think about this (better than asking on "Yahoo!").

So, I like[B]d[/B] this gilrl in my class, and I did everything I could to seem as happy as I could around her (Even when I felt like shit (wich I do most of the time)). In the beggining the response was really great, and I tought we were going to become good friends.

But one day she just seemed so pissed, wich is understandable. Everyone has a bad day at some point.
But the rest felt like pure hatred towards me (wich I am really uncomftroable with). She starded acting all messed up around me. Like ; If I were to pull a joke, she'd laugh with the rest of the group and continue whatever she was doing. Now she just tells me to quit it.

But that wasnt the thing I got hurt by the most.

You see;
I normally don't create eye contact because I'm really shy. So I just answear it and await my gaze partner to break it.

This has worked ever since I started actually look into peoples eyes.. But this one day she just covers her face and acuced me of [B]staring[/B].

At that point I just broke. I looked at the table and kept quiet the entire conversation. And everytime she gets near me now, I get this tense stress feeling and I really don't know what to say (because I'm afraid of saying something wrong).

Is it my fault she's mad all of the sudden, or has she just spontaniusly just decided to not be my friend anymore?

[I]- I have no idea what the fuck is going on.[/I][/QUOTE]

Your story really struck a chord with me. I used to be a really shy person who was afraid of eye contact myself or at least until I taught myself to be able to maintain mature, non-creepy eye contact.

The best kind of eye contact isn't forced, it occurs naturally during your interactions and shouldn't last very long because you need to blink and shit. This kind of eye contact should repeat itself periodically during your interactions.

To get good at this type of eye contact, I suggest you do what I did and ask your local department store if they have any spare mannequins that you can have/borrow (if they don't just put up an ad on Craigslist) and make sure you can get the adult man and woman models. You can get the kid models as well if you would like to practice making eye contact with midgets (I don't suggest trying to make eye contact with actual children, at least in America where people have guns).

I'd lend you my own mannequins but I live in America and plus my mom threw them out a while ago.

Anyways, after you get your mannequin go to the facebook page of your crush or whatever and find the best photo of their face you can, then print it off and attach it to your mannequin with adhesive tape.

If you are fortunate enough to obtain multiple mannequins then repeat this process for all of the mannequins.

Arrange your mannequin(s) around your room so that no matter where you look, you will always see the face of your crush staring at you. The purpose of this exercise is to show you how creepy unerring eye contact can be.

As for your girl problems idk man girls are pretty complicated and shit

[KommunistBear]

that's so weird

cool

but weird

[loppan997]

[QUOTE=Squidman;43854983]Stuff[/QUOTE]

I don't know the creepiest part..

The fact that it might work, or the fact that you just said it.
Either way, creepy stuff.

[B]EDIT:[/B] Just to make sure everyone is on track: I am not going to do it.
- kinda obvius, but I tought it'd be good to tell.