• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
fuck, Valentine's Day is soon. Current situation with the girl I like isn't really good.
[QUOTE=Hole;43854725]Hello! I just moved to Sacramento and it's kind of difficult socializing for me which is a bad mix, now I don't know what to do, how to find new people to meet as friends, or places to go to chill at. Everything was basically given to me where I was born, (not like given by other people but like grew into it) And now it feels like it's impossible to meet others and going out/hanging out Anyone have experience with this?[/QUOTE] on top of this, i dont know how to have fun in college, any tips
[QUOTE=Hole;43856052]on top of this, i dont know how to have fun in college, any tips[/QUOTE] i dont know how universities work and shit, but if youre new, just go talk to people, that was basically all I did in the first few days. Hi my name is ___ and you? Sometimes it didnt work, it would get awkward but other times it would go well and Id make new friends. And now the people with whom I started kind of awkwardly are cool with me too. At least they dont see me as some awkward kid but someone whos just more on the social side
I don't know if its me or what.. I'm not a big head, cocky cunt or whatever IRL, I'm just your everyday normal dude. But the point of this thread is about people. I don't know why but is it me or is 'friends' a lose term these days? To cut a long story short, I'm 23 and when I left school at the age of 16, I got my first job, worked for a bit, went college etc then skip forward a few years later, I think around the age of 19 or 20, some lad (lets say his name is John) I used to go school with gets in contact with me again through Facebook and we start meeting up, hanging out etc till this day. Then in 2012 John met a girl on the internet and got engaged etc but his relationship only lasted 2 years and throughout them years I must of seen him like 2 or 3 times as he was obviously thinking with his dick. After they split up he starts getting in touch with me again and I've been out with him more or less every weekend since then. [I][B]A bit more information: I only have 2 friends I keep in see from School as they are the only ones who actually bothered keeping in contact with me, however one (lets say his name is Eddy) moved away up north to Newcastle.[/B][/I] Cut forward to today and I find out John and Eddy went Amsterdam over the weekend and John who I've obviously been in contact with etc every weekend since he split up didn't even drop a hint or tell me they were planning to go. So what do you take from that? Is someone like that even worth staying in contact with? And people in general just seem to not bother, I went college in the years 2009-2012. The group was awesome and we got on really well but cut forward to now and I haven't heard anything from them, I have them as friends on Facebook etc but they just seem to have their own group of 'real' friends and when you arrange to meetup or whatever it just doesn't happen. So how the hell do you get 'worthy' friends these days that don't shit on you like John did with me?
[QUOTE=xianlee;43856993]So how the hell do you get 'worthy' friends these days that don't shit on you like John did with me?[/QUOTE] Did you try at all to keep in contact with them yourself? People get older and drift apart. They are doing what they wanted and you are complaining on an internet forum, the problem seems kind of evident.
Yea, the majority of the people I actually know all went to Uni so most were scattered throughout the UK. The only reason I'm staying in touch with the lads above is because they are the only ones who actually bother.
the thng is your friends arent in an exclusive relationship with you. They can also spend their time with other people and theyre not betraying you or cheating on you in any way. You remind me of a couple of friends of mine. We were good friends and stuff, then we split up to go to college. Out of us 4, I moved away to another country, another one moved to university A and the other 2 moved to university B. The one in University A started making new friends and got his own new circle. The 2 in B didnt move as fast, so as everybody else got along with each other they spent more of their time alone, not going to parties and everything. As they didnt have anybody else they always wanted to hang out with the guy from A, but since he was busy with his click, and couldnt come to University B to visit them all the time, he started getting tired. Of course the guys from B started getting upset with all that, and started having these feelings of being betrayed when it was all their fault, since they didnt bother to mix in with the new people or even once catch the subway to University A to have lunch with the other guy. And Im only still good friends with all of them because I make the effort to talk to them on facebook every once in a while. If it wasnt for that I guess I would have lost contact with all of them
I see, I mean if I'm honest, it's always him that drops me a text asking if we want to go X this weekend but it's always the same place. I could perhaps drop him a text instead but because he doesn't want to do anything apart from go to the same bar all the time, its just boring and more or less why I don't as I'd get more fun staying as home gaming. I think the fact we don't really have the same hobbies is another problem. I'm into gaming and he sort of is but rarely games, which when he does its like Football Manager or Fifa. We have similar interests and that's about it. And if we don't go out we will just stay at his and watch a film.
Maybe you should try meeting people through doing things you are interested in.
[QUOTE=whatthe;43857185]Maybe you should try meeting people through doing things you are interested in.[/QUOTE] Its pretty much the only option. But not including me in that Amsterdam trip is a pretty big thing though, no? The only chance I get to do something different one weekend and they don't involve me. Great.
[QUOTE=xianlee;43857201]Its pretty much the only option. But not including me in that Amsterdam trip is a pretty big thing though, no? The only chance I get to do something different one weekend and they don't involve me. Great.[/QUOTE] Did you know they were going beforehand or not?
[QUOTE=whatthe;43857229]Did you know they were going beforehand or not?[/QUOTE] No, I'm more in touch with John as he lives near me and he didn't drop a hint or anything that he was planning it. Like I was saying earlier, I know he drops me the text every week asking if we wanna do something on Saturday, but surely me replying and being there makes up for it? The only reason I don't is if I suggest something I know he'll say no.
i think the most productive think you can do now is not focus on what he did wrong, and more on what you did wrong and what you can do to fix it. He will notice the difference after a while. But besides that, dont depend your whole social life on one person, go meet other people
Well, I feel like I fucked up. I've been talking to this girl for the past 3 weeks a lot over text and skype and several days ago I met her for the second time. We met up, got coffee, went to movies, and followed her back to her house. Then in my car it was her idea to drive somewhere isolated and we just talked for an hour. I really wanted to make a move but I've never done this before and as a result, I just didn't know how to physically escalate with her. It wasn't awkward or anything but I feel like a chode now. I hope she doesn't stop talking to me because I didn't escalate that much.
[QUOTE=xianlee;43856993] So how the hell do you get 'worthy' friends these days that don't shit on you like John did with me?[/QUOTE] I ask myself this sometimes. It seems that, beyond highschool, it's not easy to find decent honest friends, everyone I've met and hung out with since then seems to only really remember I'm around as soon as they need a favor or all their other friends are busy. Yesterday I saw an old highschool buddy in WalMart, I tried to talk to him but he looked bothered and really out of it, he had grown a scraggy beard and put on some weight, he basically told me "Oh hey man, I'm just here to pick up some cigs." and walked off, it was sorta depressing.
So the girl I like just got off of a relationship of 2 years, and I usually talked to her in class, never taking it past that because I knew she was dating someone else. Then I ended up seeing her single on fb as a life event, so how would I approach this if I want to start dating her? I don't want to ask her out right now, but I feel like someone would ask her out if I'm too slow.
I want to approach and ask the girl I like out, but what definately know is that it will be too dumb to make something big out of Friday, as in we don't kno each other [I]that[/I] good yet. [editline]10th February 2014[/editline] I will act like a creep probably.
So, i'm going out of town for a few days on friday morning, up until then i'm booked and then the next few days after i get back will be spent at work. This is an irritating scenario.
So this girl who sits next to me in class in said some things that hurt me badly to someone who sits behind me. Problem is, I'm hard of hearing so near always, I have to assume what people are saying to me, causing me to sound like an idiot at times. It's well known that I can't hear well, so anyone knows they can talk behind my back, literally right in front of me without me noticing. As a result, I'm unsure if that's what she actually said, but it bothers me ignoring it since I work with her on all of the class' assignments. Should I address it to her or should I ignore it?
Maybe I'm just passive, but I really wouldn't address it. I don't think it would be worth it, if someone says something that you weren't meant to hear, letting them know that you did will only make things worse. Just for contrast though, I've never openly told someone I like them, so I might not be the best person to listen to.
so i've had my "girlfriend" lets call her Alice (technically not official, will be on Mar14) for a couple months now, we've been pretty close for some time and recently she's not talking to me as much, even cancelled our valentines date. it's gotten me a little nervous since she hasn't talked to me since. she tried telling her parents about me a couple weeks ago, it didn't go down well due to our age difference, since i was a senior when she was a freshman and we met and started talking. now i'm in college and she's a Junior. then there's her best friend, she keeps telling me that Alice is flirting with other guys. at the same time i kind of take her friend with a grain of salt since she had a crush on me before and has tried talking me away from Alice. tall order, but should i be ready for bad news? [editline]11th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=RocketRacer;43863079]I want to approach and ask the girl I like out, but what definately know is that it will be too dumb to make something big out of Friday, as in we don't kno each other [I]that[/I] good yet. [/QUOTE] I'm not sure how big you want to make it but it is nice to show seriousness. just remember to be respectful and if possible find out what she likes before you ask her out. try giving her a personal gift like oragami or a drawing. you dont need to know them well, or at all really. but the rest depends on how serious you want to take this.
lol if you weren't even official then why are you bitching about her flirting with other dudes [editline]10th February 2014[/editline] like cmon son i've never had a gf and i know that that's a stupid way to set things up also sidebar anyone find that their introvert/extrovert flips online? i'm way more introverted in real life than on the internet i just chalk it up to you being able to be less censored
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;43867046]lol if you weren't even official then why are you bitching about her flirting with other dudes [/QUOTE] its a matter of respect, and that we agreed to be exclusive. i say we are official, she says not until she announces it to her parents on her birthday.
[QUOTE=TheKingofBees;43867115]its a matter of respect, and that we agreed to be exclusive. i say we are official, she says not until she announces it to her parents on her birthday.[/QUOTE] um if both parties don't think so then they aren't pretty simple quit yer bitchin
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;43867046]anyone find that their introvert/extrovert flips online? i'm way more introverted in real life than on the internet[/QUOTE] It's the opposite for me. I barely post on fp.
oh great she ignored me today when I said 'hi' to her when we were walking past each other. Now I think it is completely pointless to do anything for 14th. [editline]11th February 2014[/editline] fucking awesome. Do I have anti-girlfriend aura or what.
Sometimes I read this thread and really most of you guys have it really easy. Since most of you are in school and still live in an area you know a lot of people, you can meet people through everyday activities. I work in a small office in a city far away from where I grew up, and for the last 2 years I still haven't met many people. Sure I go to bars and get the occasional one night bullshit but I have no idea where to start meeting potential dates, or even female friends. So to you guys in school/university, just study what you love and enjoy all the people in the same stage in life as you... because it doesn't last forever :(
[QUOTE=Glitchman;43869867]Sometimes I read this thread and really most of you guys have it really easy. Since most of you are in school and still live in an area you know a lot of people, you can meet people through everyday activities. I work in a small office in a city far away from where I grew up, and for the last 2 years I still haven't met many people. Sure I go to bars and get the occasional one night bullshit but I have no idea where to start meeting potential dates, or even female friends. So to you guys in school/university, just study what you love and enjoy all the people in the same stage in life as you... because it doesn't last forever :([/QUOTE] Social life is bullshit so far for me because I've moved to another country and I know almost to no people and I live the most far than anyone else in sixth form. I know a couple of people now who I can talk to, and there is a girl I like, who is in my art class, but for some bizzare and unknown reason she just ignores me now after being so friendly to me before. [editline]11th February 2014[/editline] And english ain't my native.
If a girl starts ignoring you the best thing to do it move on as quickly as possible. Maybe I'm jaded but I really don't want to give my time/feelings to people people who don't want to give anything back. Seems like I could be more worried about my job/hobbies/other girls.
I just don't understand why the hell are you so super-friendly and then out of nothing start ignoring.
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