Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=lolerot95;40443068]Okay im just here to vent this out, I feel like i need to tell this to someone atleast.
Iv'e had a little crush on my friend lately and I confessed it to her but she doesn't feel the same. I'm okay with that since I knew that she was going to say that so we remained freinds and no awkardness pursued. but last night I had a dream about her and I kissing, no sexual stuff just kissing. It just felt so real. So when I woke up I felt like shit because I thought it was real and my brain and emtions fucked me over sort of. So yeah thats my little story. Just venting it out[/QUOTE]
If your okay with just a friend relationship and don't expect to pursue it I dont think it matters much. Those sort of dreams can just happen, if you don't focus or worry about it too much it will go away in a while. Ive had dreams like that about other guys while i'm in a relationship and it's just sorta like "fuck brain shut up, not happening"
It doesn't really mean much overall, your brain just likes to work out every possiblity.
[QUOTE=lolerot95;40443068]Okay im just here to vent this out, I feel like i need to tell this to someone atleast.
Iv'e had a little crush on my friend lately and I confessed it to her but she doesn't feel the same. I'm okay with that since I knew that she was going to say that so we remained freinds and no awkardness pursued. but last night I had a dream about her and I kissing, no sexual stuff just kissing. It just felt so real. So when I woke up I felt like shit because I thought it was real and my brain and emtions fucked me over sort of. So yeah thats my little story. Just venting it out[/QUOTE]
Oh man, I know that feel bro. I had such dreams where I woke up and thought that it really happened. Your brain tends to fuck with you on occaisons. After break-ups I often dream about having sex with that girl (if the breakup was coming from her side).
Try to be cool as possible about it, even if the situation can be awkward. Perhaps in the distant future it will change, my cousin had a similiar situation but after 4 years they got together. Although he had other girlfriends during that time. So keep an eye up but don't get your hopes to high.
My girlfriend and I have been together for the past year, we have been through hell together. We sobered up together, quit drinking, quit doing drugs, we were going to have a child and lost it, etc etc.
We've both been there for one another, and honestly, our love story is perfect in my eyes. We started off really rocky, but we worked things out and for the past eight or nine months have been extremely happy. We dedicated everything we had to each other, though she ended up moving to a different city early into our relationship.
I now moved to that city as well, we live together and have since January.
But, now everything feels so different, we have fought a lot more, and I just seem to be a pain in her ass. I have been giving her more space than I ever have, and I am trying to make changes, such as not letting my insecurities control me, etc. But I am not doing well, apparently, or well enough.
She says that we have become two different people, and that she doesn't know if she wants to stay together anymore.
I feel like complete shit, I've sacrificed so many things for the relationship, I have moved away from my family to live with her and build a future with her. Everything was going so well, and now we just fight so often, and then make up and love eachother for a week, then hate eachother again.
I'm not sure what to do or what I am trying to accomplish in posting this, maybe just to rant if anything, I have nobody to talk to in this city, I only know about one person besides my girlfriend and people I work with, so I don't really have any other place to turn and vent.
I was planning on getting engaged with her this fall, we'd both talked about it and said that we want to, I have rings picked out and everything, I am only waiting for the time and the extra money to put toward these things. But now I feel like that will never happen, and when she told me that she doesn't know what she wants anymore, yesterday, I really just felt completely empty.
Her and I have been through so much though, I feel as though we will pull through and make things work, but I'm not so sure, something just feels different this time around. I've done everything I've been doing for the past year, I haven't changed my efforts, etc. And she says that I am losing interest, or not showing any interest, etc.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on this relationship and move back home, but I know I can't force her to feel the way I want her to feel.
It sucks, watching your relationship with the only person you've ever loved start to fall apart before your eyes, and you're the only one who wants to pick up the pieces and put them back together.
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;40444199]From my experience, even pursuing a platonic relationship with her will only make the feelings that much harder to overcome. I'm not saying you should stop being friends, but some good distance would definitely help.
Also, I wouldn't get your hopes up in thinking you still have a chance, because the answer is probably no.[/QUOTE]
I'm not getting my hopes up or anything cause i've known her for a couple of years and I know for a fact that her feelings towards me are none others than being a friend. And she is my best friend so a little distance won't make it better for me or her.
[QUOTE=lolerot95;40445545]I'm not getting my hopes up or anything cause i've known her for a couple of years and I know for a fact that her feelings towards me are none others than being a friend. And she is my best friend so a little distance won't make it better for me or her.[/QUOTE]
I'm kind of in the same situation pretty much. Sucks but whatever, we still talk and we're actually going to prom together. Kinda waiting for her to leave for college so the hopes can die and move on.
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40445147]My girlfriend and I have been together for the past year, we have been through hell together. We sobered up together, quit drinking, quit doing drugs, we were going to have a child and lost it, etc etc.
We've both been there for one another, and honestly, our love story is perfect in my eyes. We started off really rocky, but we worked things out and for the past eight or nine months have been extremely happy. We dedicated everything we had to each other, though she ended up moving to a different city early into our relationship.
I now moved to that city as well, we live together and have since January.
But, now everything feels so different, we have fought a lot more, and I just seem to be a pain in her ass. I have been giving her more space than I ever have, and I am trying to make changes, such as not letting my insecurities control me, etc. But I am not doing well, apparently, or well enough.
She says that we have become two different people, and that she doesn't know if she wants to stay together anymore.
I feel like complete shit, I've sacrificed so many things for the relationship, I have moved away from my family to live with her and build a future with her. Everything was going so well, and now we just fight so often, and then make up and love eachother for a week, then hate eachother again.
I'm not sure what to do or what I am trying to accomplish in posting this, maybe just to rant if anything, I have nobody to talk to in this city, I only know about one person besides my girlfriend and people I work with, so I don't really have any other place to turn and vent.
I was planning on getting engaged with her this fall, we'd both talked about it and said that we want to, I have rings picked out and everything, I am only waiting for the time and the extra money to put toward these things. But now I feel like that will never happen, and when she told me that she doesn't know what she wants anymore, yesterday, I really just felt completely empty.
Her and I have been through so much though, I feel as though we will pull through and make things work, but I'm not so sure, something just feels different this time around. I've done everything I've been doing for the past year, I haven't changed my efforts, etc. And she says that I am losing interest, or not showing any interest, etc.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on this relationship and move back home, but I know I can't force her to feel the way I want her to feel.
It sucks, watching your relationship with the only person you've ever loved start to fall apart before your eyes, and you're the only one who wants to pick up the pieces and put them back together.[/QUOTE]
I don't know but it sounds like maybe there is a deeper root problem. I know you say you usually make up and move on but maybe more talking and really venting out all the problems, not necessarily making up but just really understanding it and any problem she is having, and making a plan of how to improve it? I don't know if it will be any good, i'll be honest i've never been there in a relationship like that but best I can think of really.
Maybe if you think your not getting everything in conversation, try doing it through a written media. Its easier to write everything your thinking than say it sometimes.
I have tried countless times to talk about our problems together, it usually results in her saying "I have nothing to say", and then that is about it. I've tried finding solutions through talking like you said, but she is unwilling to cooperate. It breaks my heart.
Hey there, long time lurker, got advice a few times here but I finally actually have some to give back :v:. My girlfriend is a big fan of harry potter, we've been going out for a little over a year, so her first birthday came up where I could get her a present. I got her this: [url]http://www.etsy.com/listing/85723505/scrolls-spells-wizard-inspired-art[/url]
She said it was the best present she ever got, so my advice would be rather than buy something generic (I could have bought her the collection of blu-rays for example) get something that's handmade, or something that shows that you've been listening to her(I remembered ravenclaw was her favorite house)
PS: Etsy is awesome and mostly not too pricey.
[QUOTE=Outcast_X;40450831]Hey there, long time lurker, got advice a few times here but I finally actually have some to give back :v:. My girlfriend is a big fan of harry potter, we've been going out for a little over a year, so her first birthday came up where I could get her a present. I got her this: [url]http://www.etsy.com/listing/85723505/scrolls-spells-wizard-inspired-art[/url]
She said it was the best present she ever got, so my advice would be rather than buy something generic (I could have bought her the collection of blu-rays for example) get something that's handmade, or something that shows that you've been listening to her(I remembered ravenclaw was her favorite house)
PS: Etsy is awesome and mostly not too pricey.[/QUOTE]
I love etsy
I got my girlfriend monopoly earrings from there she's never worn them because they're ugly but they were $2 and it made for a good joke time
I just can't seem to talk to girls, seriously
all my life i only have conversations with guys
need some help
[QUOTE=Cymeron;40453650]I just can't seem to talk to girls, seriously
all my life i only have conversations with guys
need some help[/QUOTE]
well what's the issue, are you nervous around girls or what?
[QUOTE=Cymeron;40453650]I just can't seem to talk to girls, seriously
all my life i only have conversations with guys
need some help[/QUOTE]
this is kind of vague
but just remember most girls generally have the same interests as guys and don't be afraid when they ask you if you like something too but you don't you just say "no i don't like that" i don't think most girls want a guy who only agrees with them 100%
How do you get 100% over an ex-girlfriend. Its was LONG ago and Im over it to the point where I dont often think about it, but she pops up in my head from time to time. For example, I had a dream where she got back together with me or a random memory of her will pop up.
Like, is there some meditation shit or something I can do to be 100% myself again?
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;40462124]How do you get 100% over an ex-girlfriend. Its was LONG ago and Im over it to the point where I dont often think about it, but she pops up in my head from time to time. For example, I had a dream where she got back together with me or a random memory of her will pop up.
Like, is there some meditation shit or something I can do to be 100% myself again?[/QUOTE]
Nope.
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;40462124]How do you get 100% over an ex-girlfriend. Its was LONG ago and Im over it to the point where I dont often think about it, but she pops up in my head from time to time. For example, I had a dream where she got back together with me or a random memory of her will pop up.
Like, is there some meditation shit or something I can do to be 100% myself again?[/QUOTE]
At that point there is not much that you can do. If you don't think constantly about her and don't sorrow your breakup, you're doing fine. I still think about my ex-girlfriends from time to time, they also appeared in my dreams. Even though I'm now happy in a relationship.
The number one thing that always helped me is being occupied. At school, work, friends, working out, gaming and pretty much everything where I don't have much time thinking about the world.
[QUOTE=Gulen;40431797]Ok, so it's been a while since I posted here last, but now I'm in need of some help.
So there's this girl (of course) that I used to commute with, until she got an appartement in the town we go to school. I talked with her a couple times on the bus and such, and we went to a party a few weeks back. There we talked for a bit until we were cut off by something. Iirc, she initiated the conversation, and we laughed and such. I even tried hitting on her a little later, but I wasn't sober, so it didn't go too well... And now I've kind of developed a little crush on her.
I'm wondering, would it be weird if I messaged her on Facebook like "hey, what's up?" just out of the blue? We live about an hour drive away, and we go to different schools, so we never run into each other or anything like that.
[editline]26th April 2013[/editline]
We've also got a bunch of friends in common.[/QUOTE]
We also send snapchats to each other now and then.
Alright, so I have a bit of a problem. Some of you may remember this from a while back, but I'll sum it up to you: I met a really cute, shy girl from the grade below me at school who is a really good artist. I'm shy too, but I managed to muster up the courage to add her on Facebook and send her a message. We messaged there for a while and then we started chatting on Skype. We found out that we live only about 3 minutes away from each other, and since then we've been hanging out 1-2 times every other week or so (i'm her only IRL friend outside of school and she's the same to me). Of course I'm in love with her and I thought I was doing really well until I found out that she's a lesbian and has a long-distance girlfriend who she talks to and has met one or two times. Obviously this made me very sad but I didn't mention it to her as I feared revealing me being in love with her would ruin our relationship as friends. This proved to be unnecessary as a friend revealed to her that I was in love with her and she said it was fine, she had suspected it earlier. Anyway, we're still hanging out regularly and I'm still very much in love with her.
So, now to what I was going to ask about: We participated in Ludum Dare as a team last weekend. I did the programming and animation and such, and she worked on art. Basically we just sat in my room for the majority of 72 hours and made a very strange game about planting trees and making babies. She's really fun to work with, pretty much the perfect collaborator (motivated, skilled, productive), and that just makes me love her more. And that's the problem, as we were working I couldn't stop thinking about how much I love her and how much of a good time we were having. It was kind of weird for me, sitting next to and working with somebody I am incredibly attracted to for about three days straight while listening to her playlist of love songs playing on shuffle in the background. I really don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not even thinking about sex or anything, more like general intimacy. I haven't even tried to hug her yet because I'm afraid it'd ruin our friendship even though I usually hug all of my female friends.
tl;dr I'm in love with my best (IRL) friend and I can't stop thinking about her but she's a lesbian please help
[QUOTE=Eric95;40476662]I'm in love with my best (IRL) friend and I can't stop thinking about her but she's a lesbian please help[/QUOTE]
Regarding her, there isn't really anything you can do. She's a lesbian, the prospect of you having a romantic relationship with her seems out of the question, but she is still your friend and you should be happy about it.
All you can really do is try take your mind of the feelings you have towards her.
Go play some games or go read something, keep yourself occupied. Try chatting with other girls, despite you being shy you were able to muster up the courage to talk to her in the first place, so with a bit of added effort you might be able to do it again.
I feel like my body language may be projecting involuntarily that I don't want to be talked to (and most cases I don't I guess) but I feel like I'll never meet somebody if I be myself like that.
Should I smile more often? I only really smile when someone else smiles or if I hear something funny, and occasionally if I greet someone. It just doesn't feel natural for me to smile all the time, while I'm walking somewhere or just minding my own business. I notice I cross my arms a lot when I sit but if I don't I don't really feel comfortable, and I heard that that conveys that a person doesn't want to be talked to. I don't have much self-confidence to begin with and I have a hard time getting the guts to go up and talk to somebody in the first place, so shutting off the only other option of letting people know I'm approachable isn't helping.
I'm just confused. Part of me doesn't want to socialize at all, another part wants to meet somebody, but if I don't socialize with people I don't know that'll never happen. When I'm in class I don't want to talk at all but since I don't have a fun time at parties at all, there's no good clubs on campus and I don't get much of a chance to meet people otherwise I feel like I don't have any opportunities to meet a girl other than class. I'm just introverted, timid, shy and I prefer being alone, but paradoxially I want to have a close relationship with someone.
Ugh, I just feel like shit I guess, venting's not going to help much (I've done so much of it but I still keep venting like it's not solving anything), summer's going to suck since I have to do an internship as well as getting my first actual job (20 years old and never worked once other than volunteer work, that's bad), finals are stressful, I've got a B- in my stats class that's going to drop my GPA, I've missed a lot of classes since I'm always fatigued, my diet's been just pasta, cola and candy since I don't have time to go eat and I'm kinda short on funds, no exercise (I still can't get motivated to do it since I hate the pain so much and feel horrible afterwards), and I've been getting poor sleep. I'm paranoid that people I know are avoiding me for some reason but it's probably because I never reach out to them or I just have bad body language.
I feel like I'm just stuck inside my head. Video games have been helping me calm down, but when I'm doing homework or classwork I can't concentrate since my mind is just racing. I just wish I could be happy being alone.
[QUOTE=SleepyAl;40477896]I feel like my body language may be projecting involuntarily that I don't want to be talked to (and most cases I don't I guess) but I feel like I'll never meet somebody if I be myself like that.
Should I smile more often? I only really smile when someone else smiles or if I hear something funny, and occasionally if I greet someone. It just doesn't feel natural for me to smile all the time, while I'm walking somewhere or just minding my own business. I notice I cross my arms a lot when I sit but if I don't I don't really feel comfortable, and I heard that that conveys that a person doesn't want to be talked to. I don't have much self-confidence to begin with and I have a hard time getting the guts to go up and talk to somebody in the first place, so shutting off the only other option of letting people know I'm approachable isn't helping.
I'm just confused. Part of me doesn't want to socialize at all, another part wants to meet somebody, but if I don't socialize with people I don't know that'll never happen. When I'm in class I don't want to talk at all but since I don't have a fun time at parties at all, there's no good clubs on campus and I don't get much of a chance to meet people otherwise I feel like I don't have any opportunities to meet a girl other than class. I'm just introverted, timid, shy and I prefer being alone, but paradoxially I want to have a close relationship with someone.
Ugh, I just feel like shit I guess, venting's not going to help much (I've done so much of it but I still keep venting like it's not solving anything), summer's going to suck since I have to do an internship as well as getting my first actual job (20 years old and never worked once other than volunteer work, that's bad), finals are stressful, I've got a B- in my stats class that's going to drop my GPA, I've missed a lot of classes since I'm always fatigued, my diet's been just pasta, cola and candy since I don't have time to go eat and I'm kinda short on funds, no exercise (I still can't get motivated to do it since I hate the pain so much and feel horrible afterwards), and I've been getting poor sleep. I'm paranoid that people I know are avoiding me for some reason but it's probably because I never reach out to them or I just have bad body language.
I feel like I'm just stuck inside my head. Video games have been helping me calm down, but when I'm doing homework or classwork I can't concentrate since my mind is just racing. I just wish I could be happy being alone.[/QUOTE]
I think to an extent a forced smile would be even worse, since they're usually pretty obvious. On the other hand smiling is part of being friendly and a big symbol of peoples disposition towards each other. So yes, be more smiley and cheerful if you want to meet people, but only if you can do it in a natural way. The best method for that of course is have something to be happy about!
[QUOTE=SleepyAl;40477896]I feel like my body language may be projecting involuntarily that I don't want to be talked to (and most cases I don't I guess) but I feel like I'll never meet somebody if I be myself like that.
Should I smile more often? I only really smile when someone else smiles or if I hear something funny, and occasionally if I greet someone. It just doesn't feel natural for me to smile all the time, while I'm walking somewhere or just minding my own business. I notice I cross my arms a lot when I sit but if I don't I don't really feel comfortable, and I heard that that conveys that a person doesn't want to be talked to. I don't have much self-confidence to begin with and I have a hard time getting the guts to go up and talk to somebody in the first place, so shutting off the only other option of letting people know I'm approachable isn't helping.
I'm just confused. Part of me doesn't want to socialize at all, another part wants to meet somebody, but if I don't socialize with people I don't know that'll never happen. When I'm in class I don't want to talk at all but since I don't have a fun time at parties at all, there's no good clubs on campus and I don't get much of a chance to meet people otherwise I feel like I don't have any opportunities to meet a girl other than class. I'm just introverted, timid, shy and I prefer being alone, but paradoxially I want to have a close relationship with someone.
Ugh, I just feel like shit I guess, venting's not going to help much (I've done so much of it but I still keep venting like it's not solving anything), summer's going to suck since I have to do an internship as well as getting my first actual job (20 years old and never worked once other than volunteer work, that's bad), finals are stressful, I've got a B- in my stats class that's going to drop my GPA, I've missed a lot of classes since I'm always fatigued, my diet's been just pasta, cola and candy since I don't have time to go eat and I'm kinda short on funds, no exercise (I still can't get motivated to do it since I hate the pain so much and feel horrible afterwards), and I've been getting poor sleep. I'm paranoid that people I know are avoiding me for some reason but it's probably because I never reach out to them or I just have bad body language.
I feel like I'm just stuck inside my head. Video games have been helping me calm down, but when I'm doing homework or classwork I can't concentrate since my mind is just racing. I just wish I could be happy being alone.[/QUOTE]
Same here. It'd be fantastic to be content alone. I think, though, regardless your body language, you're gonna need to talk to others yourself rather than trying to make yourself seem more approachable, though that definitely wouldnt be a bad idea. I dont know, i mean, if you think you seem unsociable just try to sit differently or something, wave at friends/acquiantances in the halls, stuff like that. Just dont focus on it too much or else you will only make yourself uncomfortable or nervous.
Really though, im in the same boat. I dont want to socialize nor do i want anyone to talk to me (sometimes not even my friends) but i do want to find a girl. Again, really, you're gonna have to step up yourself. Cant just hope someone approaches you.
Also fuck im getting my first job this summer in a few weeks and its kind of scary, i have no clue what to expect or what it might be like or if i'll even be able to handle it very well. I guess i'm going to find out.
[QUOTE=SleepyAl;40477896]I feel like my body language may be projecting involuntarily that I don't want to be talked to (and most cases I don't I guess) but I feel like I'll never meet somebody if I be myself like that.
Should I smile more often? I only really smile when someone else smiles or if I hear something funny, and occasionally if I greet someone. It just doesn't feel natural for me to smile all the time, while I'm walking somewhere or just minding my own business. I notice I cross my arms a lot when I sit but if I don't I don't really feel comfortable, and I heard that that conveys that a person doesn't want to be talked to. I don't have much self-confidence to begin with and I have a hard time getting the guts to go up and talk to somebody in the first place, so shutting off the only other option of letting people know I'm approachable isn't helping.
I'm just confused. Part of me doesn't want to socialize at all, another part wants to meet somebody, but if I don't socialize with people I don't know that'll never happen. When I'm in class I don't want to talk at all but since I don't have a fun time at parties at all, there's no good clubs on campus and I don't get much of a chance to meet people otherwise I feel like I don't have any opportunities to meet a girl other than class. I'm just introverted, timid, shy and I prefer being alone, but paradoxially I want to have a close relationship with someone.
Ugh, I just feel like shit I guess, venting's not going to help much (I've done so much of it but I still keep venting like it's not solving anything), summer's going to suck since I have to do an internship as well as getting my first actual job (20 years old and never worked once other than volunteer work, that's bad), finals are stressful, I've got a B- in my stats class that's going to drop my GPA, I've missed a lot of classes since I'm always fatigued, my diet's been just pasta, cola and candy since I don't have time to go eat and I'm kinda short on funds, no exercise (I still can't get motivated to do it since I hate the pain so much and feel horrible afterwards), and I've been getting poor sleep. I'm paranoid that people I know are avoiding me for some reason but it's probably because I never reach out to them or I just have bad body language.
I feel like I'm just stuck inside my head. Video games have been helping me calm down, but when I'm doing homework or classwork I can't concentrate since my mind is just racing. I just wish I could be happy being alone.[/QUOTE]
If you want to get to know more people, I would start with the people in your classroom. You can talk about class-related things and then branch off from there. It's probably one of the easiest ways to make new friends. The biggest obstacle is just starting that communication.
At lunch today, everything is perfectly normal and such. There are 4 guys and 1 girl at our table. One of the guys gets up to go to the bathroom or something. When he leaves, the girl whispers to us that when he comes back we should completely ignore him to make him feel bad, and to put him in his place. I ask why she would do such a thing, and she says that he said "I could be hanging out with cooler people than go to prom, also he's an incredibly annoying brat". I tell her to not do that, it's completely stupid and will end up making yourself look like an idiot, but she was hellbent on getting this through and everyone else agreed with her. When he comes back, I instantly sabotage their plan by saying hi to him, then telling them that I ruined the plan on purpose. I tell the guy about the plan, and he said "that would just make me walk away and call you guys dicks".
We leave the lunch room and go upstairs by the stairs which is where we normally hang out. We're having a normal conversation about stuff and suddenly the girl brings up her plan, asking me the reason for me ruining it. The guy asks her what she wanted to get out of him, and she told him "to put you in your place". He then says "So put you in your place, like how you're a bitch?" and stares at her seriously. One of the guys breaks it up with a joke and we all start laughing except for her, and then she gets up and leaves. Another guy(a close friend of hers who was with the plan) gets up and leaves in the opposite direction. I told him to not worry about it, I would've done the exact same thing. He says tomorrow he'll apologize to her, but he doesn't understand why she secretly hates him.
I think it's completely retarded drama that she started up, and I don't think apologizing will fix the problem. Sure they've been friends for years now, but that one situation would've led me to just leave. While I definitely do think stopping and telling him of the plan was the right thing to do, I don't agree completely on his thoughts on the matter. I guess I'm posting this because I want to see your guys response to this.
[QUOTE=Blueridge;40484716]At lunch today, everything is perfectly normal and such. There are 4 guys and 1 girl at our table. One of the guys gets up to go to the bathroom or something. When he leaves, the girl whispers to us that when he comes back we should completely ignore him to make him feel bad, and to put him in his place. I ask why she would do such a thing, and she says that he said "I could be hanging out with cooler people than go to prom, also he's an incredibly annoying brat". I tell her to not do that, it's completely stupid and will end up making yourself look like an idiot, but she was hellbent on getting this through and everyone else agreed with her. When he comes back, I instantly sabotage their plan by saying hi to him, then telling them that I ruined the plan on purpose. I tell the guy about the plan, and he said "that would just make me walk away and call you guys dicks".
We leave the lunch room and go upstairs by the stairs which is where we normally hang out. We're having a normal conversation about stuff and suddenly the girl brings up her plan, asking me the reason for me ruining it. The guy asks her what she wanted to get out of him, and she told him "to put you in your place". He then says "So put you in your place, like how you're a bitch?" and stares at her seriously. One of the guys breaks it up with a joke and we all start laughing except for her, and then she gets up and leaves. Another guy(a close friend of hers who was with the plan) gets up and leaves in the opposite direction. I told him to not worry about it, I would've done the exact same thing. He says tomorrow he'll apologize to her, but he doesn't understand why she secretly hates him.
I think it's completely retarded drama that she started up, and I don't think apologizing will fix the problem. Sure they've been friends for years now, but that one situation would've led me to just leave. While I definitely do think stopping and telling him of the plan was the right thing to do, I don't agree completely on his thoughts on the matter. I guess I'm posting this because I want to see your guys response to this.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like she is "an incredibly annoying brat" :v:
There might be some insecurities that she has, or some problems with that guy. It's no big deal though, just keep a neutral stance, stand up for people getting picked on but don't take a side.
So my situation is a bit funky as of earlier today.
There's this girl I know, whom I've been friends with since January. She came to the school when 2nd semester started, which is when I first met her. We've been good friends since, I've taken her to all the school dances, taken her out a couple times to do fun stuff, just been there for her. She was taken until last week, when she found out that her boyfriend was arrested due to possession of marijuana, which was a betrayal of trust, ultimately leading to the breakup.
All is good now, right? I can go after her, being that I've been interested in her since we met, but never really did anything about it until I found out. I went over to her house on Saturday and told her that if she ever needed anything, she could call, I care for her etc etc. and she said she really appreciates it. Well, damn, that's awesome! I can finally begin something serious here! Well, there's this theatre kid she knows and is acquainted with and has been in theatre class with since around the same time. He basically minded his own business, didn't talk to her much or anything in that time, didn't do much with her. On the other hand, I'm here doing all this stuff with her being all awesome and shit like that. Well, turns out, once he found out she was single, he went straight for the goods. Not 3 days after she ends the previous relationship, he asks her out on a date. I figured I'd give her some time since she needs to recover, and then do something about it, but now it feels like a race to the finish line or something, which wasn't what I wanted to feel at all. She basically told him today that she has to set up for her sister's wedding this weekend (legit) so she can't go out on a date. He was cool with it, but I really don't want to feel like I need to rush, but it's almost like that's what needs to be done if I want to win her over.
My question is, do I ask her out on a date next weekend, when she's free? Or what do, FP?
I feel like my prom date didn't care much to have me there except as a date to prom. hrmph.
Bummer since I actually did enjoy her.
[editline]1st May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Blueridge;40484716]At lunch today, everything is perfectly normal and such. There are 4 guys and 1 girl at our table. One of the guys gets up to go to the bathroom or something. When he leaves, the girl whispers to us that when he comes back we should completely ignore him to make him feel bad, and to put him in his place. I ask why she would do such a thing, and she says that he said "I could be hanging out with cooler people than go to prom, also he's an incredibly annoying brat". I tell her to not do that, it's completely stupid and will end up making yourself look like an idiot, but she was hellbent on getting this through and everyone else agreed with her. When he comes back, I instantly sabotage their plan by saying hi to him, then telling them that I ruined the plan on purpose. I tell the guy about the plan, and he said "that would just make me walk away and call you guys dicks".
We leave the lunch room and go upstairs by the stairs which is where we normally hang out. We're having a normal conversation about stuff and suddenly the girl brings up her plan, asking me the reason for me ruining it. The guy asks her what she wanted to get out of him, and she told him "to put you in your place". He then says "So put you in your place, like how you're a bitch?" and stares at her seriously. One of the guys breaks it up with a joke and we all start laughing except for her, and then she gets up and leaves. Another guy(a close friend of hers who was with the plan) gets up and leaves in the opposite direction. I told him to not worry about it, I would've done the exact same thing. He says tomorrow he'll apologize to her, but he doesn't understand why she secretly hates him.
I think it's completely retarded drama that she started up, and I don't think apologizing will fix the problem. Sure they've been friends for years now, but that one situation would've led me to just leave. While I definitely do think stopping and telling him of the plan was the right thing to do, I don't agree completely on his thoughts on the matter. I guess I'm posting this because I want to see your guys response to this.[/QUOTE]
When people do things of that level of pettiness or unpleasantness, I generally do this sort of inward shrug in my head and give up on the situation. Maybe not the best of solutions, but when people are acting like that, logic doesn't seem to help and my approach certainly lets me get away with zero anxiety about it. I'd let them do their thing and tell them to do it elsewhere if it started tangling up the group like it was right there. Their problems. If they want to create silly problems for themselves, that's their prerogative.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;40488442]I feel like my prom date didn't care much to have me there except as a date to prom. hrmph.
Bummer since I actually did enjoy her.
[editline]1st May 2013[/editline]
When people do things of that level of pettiness or unpleasantness, I generally do this sort of inward shrug in my head and give up on the situation. Maybe not the best of solutions, but when people are acting like that, logic doesn't seem to help and my approach certainly lets me get away with zero anxiety about it. I'd let them do their thing and tell them to do it elsewhere if it started tangling up the group like it was right there. Their problems. If they want to create silly problems for themselves, that's their prerogative.[/QUOTE]
At least you went to prom, I missed my prom when I was 18 and now I'm 21 and I was all like "Oh I know this girl is having prom soon, clearly I "propose" her so I get to do something with her and don't miss out on what a prom is before I die of old age, but then I got rejected.
There's this guy in my class who always saves a seat for a girl friend of his everytime. And I think that's kinda cute since I usually sit next to them. The three of us kinda chose the seats next to the window so the sun may come in while we're doing some math.
Anyway, I don't talk much with them other than to just talk about the problems we're solving in classe, however I've been noticing by some hints and body language that the guy who sits next to her is interested in her, however he looks clueless. It kinda makes me smile cause the situation is very naive.
However latelly he's been smalltalking a lot and failing to keep up with practicing the subjects and I overheard she mentioning it to him, so now, last week she noticed I had all class exercises in order and was keeping track of the problems made in class, so from some time for now we've been talking more and more since I help her a lot during classes. Latelly she doesn't give the guy that much of atention as she used to, and that kinda makes me feel a little bit guilty and have pitty on the guy who kinda desperately still looks for attention from her.
Oh facepunch, what have I done? :v:
[QUOTE=Eric95;40476662]Alright, so I have a bit of a problem. Some of you may remember this from a while back, but I'll sum it up to you: I met a really cute, shy girl from the grade below me at school who is a really good artist. I'm shy too, but I managed to muster up the courage to add her on Facebook and send her a message. We messaged there for a while and then we started chatting on Skype. We found out that we live only about 3 minutes away from each other, and since then we've been hanging out 1-2 times every other week or so (i'm her only IRL friend outside of school and she's the same to me). Of course I'm in love with her and I thought I was doing really well until I found out that she's a lesbian and has a long-distance girlfriend who she talks to and has met one or two times. Obviously this made me very sad but I didn't mention it to her as I feared revealing me being in love with her would ruin our relationship as friends. This proved to be unnecessary as a friend revealed to her that I was in love with her and she said it was fine, she had suspected it earlier. Anyway, we're still hanging out regularly and I'm still very much in love with her.
So, now to what I was going to ask about: We participated in Ludum Dare as a team last weekend. I did the programming and animation and such, and she worked on art. Basically we just sat in my room for the majority of 72 hours and made a very strange game about planting trees and making babies. She's really fun to work with, pretty much the perfect collaborator (motivated, skilled, productive), and that just makes me love her more. And that's the problem, as we were working I couldn't stop thinking about how much I love her and how much of a good time we were having. It was kind of weird for me, sitting next to and working with somebody I am incredibly attracted to for about three days straight while listening to her playlist of love songs playing on shuffle in the background. I really don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not even thinking about sex or anything, more like general intimacy. I haven't even tried to hug her yet because I'm afraid it'd ruin our friendship even though I usually hug all of my female friends.
tl;dr I'm in love with my best (IRL) friend and I can't stop thinking about her but she's a lesbian please help[/QUOTE]
She might be bi?
Just keep it up with her, I'm jealous of you just having a good friend like that, that's something I don't even have.
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