Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[kaine123]

You guys know this feeling I bet.

That emptiness you feel when you start to love someone, and you have to wait even one night just until you can see them again. All you want to is lie next to them and feel their bodies warmth with yours.

But you can't because time is in the way.

[Daniel Smith]

So I'm the stereotypical loner with no friends and lately I've been having this strong need to find a relationship but here are the problems:

1) I have no friends that I talk to on a regular basis
2) I am too shy and awkward to even attempt to ask someone out even if I did know somebody
3) I am extremely picky, for example I would only like someone who has the same interests

This urge started a year ago but only in the past week has it been strong enough for me to even try.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44073846]So I'm the stereotypical loner with no friends and lately I've been having this strong need to find a relationship but here are the problems:

1) I have no friends that I talk to on a regular basis
2) I am too shy and awkward to even attempt to ask someone out even if I did know somebody
3) [b]I am extremely picky, for example I would only like someone who has the same interests[/b]

This urge started a year ago but only in the past week has it been strong enough for me to even try.[/QUOTE]

As someone who was in this exact situation not too long ago, that's the first thing you need to change.

[kaine123]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44074983]As someone who was in this exact situation not too long ago, that's the first thing you need to change.[/QUOTE]

Seriously this. I started dating a girl recently who's into a lot of stuff I've never found interesting, and vice versa. We both have been showing each other new things that we never really considered before. It's a cool feeling to explore new things with someone you like a lot. I've already started trying more new things that she's shown me and it's actually a really nice feeling. I think this doesn't even apply to just romantic relationships, I really think it's a good thing to find people who have dissimilar interests. It can really expand your worldview to look at things from a different point of view, even if it is small.

[Squidman]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44073846]
3) I am extremely picky, for example I would only like someone who has the same interests
[/QUOTE]

Give it 10 years and when you're sitting/laying on the floor of your poorly furnished 1 bedroom apartment surrounded by the accumulated filth of 10 years of bachelor-ship you'll blearily stare at your off-white ceiling and fantasize about stuffing one of your mismatched socks with memory foam and Vaseline; that's about when you'll realize that you are part of the they-self along with the rest of the human race and that everyone shares the same possible involvements in the world due to our ready-to-hand pre-reflective interactions! There must be a world in order for us to doubt its existence! By Ia!

[NoDachi]

this guy gets it

[RobbL]

[QUOTE=Squidman;44075635]Give it 10 years and when you're sitting/laying on the floor of your poorly furnished 1 bedroom apartment surrounded by the accumulated filth of 10 years of bachelor-ship you'll blearily stare at your off-white ceiling and fantasize about stuffing one of your mismatched socks with memory foam and Vaseline; that's about when you'll realize that you are part of the they-self along with the rest of the human race and that everyone shares the same possible involvements in the world due to our ready-to-hand pre-reflective interactions! There must be a world in order for us to doubt its existence! By Ia![/QUOTE]

Yeah

[Laughing Stock]

i started an exchange with a girl over email. shit's rad yo.

I forgot how nice emails were. They're not incredibly slow like snail mail and you can jam a lot of thought and content into them unlike IMing.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44074983]As someone who was in this exact situation not too long ago, that's the first thing you need to change.[/QUOTE]

yep. As they say: Beggars can't be choosers.

And I honestly never understood why people put so much importance on music or what books and movies they like. If it was because theyre musicians yeah I understand but if its just some average girl, whats so important?

[Mort and Charon]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44076969]yep. As they say: Beggars can't be choosers.

And I honestly never understood why people put so much importance on music or what books and movies they like. If it was because theyre musicians yeah I understand but if its just some average girl, whats so important?[/QUOTE]

In terms of music, it can get quite irritating living in close proximity with someone who has very different music tastes. In my halls, 3 people on the floor, including my room mate, are VERY into house music. I personally can't stand it, I find it too repetitive and same-y, and that wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact people who like house seem to love to play it very loud through speakers, and it's now impossible to get away from it.

Being able to enjoy things together is also important, you want to go to concerts, watch movies, and discuss books with your significant other. That's not gonna happen if you have polar opposite tastes, but people with slightly different, but slightly overlapping tastes can work out well.

[chinatown]

Well yeah sure it can be annoying if someone plays loud music, but if your gf plays loud house music and you dont appreciate it, then she should respect you and not play it. Or at least you can say it to her.
Anyway, sure you can discuss about a book you both like, but I dont think itll last longer than a couple of hours or anything. These things are kind of superficial, theres a lot of deeper things you can understand from a person than whats your favorite movie. And its in those moments that you can see what kind of person someone is and if you can live with it.

[Daniel Smith]

Well I would want to at least have a couple things in common with that person, oh well.

[zenby]

I think it's okay to want to have a few things in common with a friend or significant other, but if that's giving you trouble you should try to expand your own interests. I've gotten into art and music instead of just programming and video games, and that's significantly opened up opportunities for me to meet and connect with new people

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44080575]I think it's okay to want to have a few things in common with a friend or significant other, but if that's giving you trouble you should try to expand your own interests. I've gotten into art and music instead of just programming and video games, and that's significantly opened up opportunities for me to meet and connect with new people[/QUOTE]

I tried going to the art club at school to meet people but it never went anywhere, people were too busy drawing/painting by themselves.

[Taepodong-2]

I have no common interests with the girl I'm interested in and we get along great so it's not really that important.

[JackAttack]

The only real interest that my Girlfriend and i share is Theater, specifically musicals. Besides that we just enjoy each others company and she's pretty fun to talk to about whatever.

[Mort and Charon]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44080269]Well yeah sure it can be annoying if someone plays loud music, but if your gf plays loud house music and you dont appreciate it, then she should respect you and not play it. Or at least you can say it to her.
Anyway, sure you can discuss about a book you both like, but I dont think itll last longer than a couple of hours or anything. These things are kind of superficial, theres a lot of deeper things you can understand from a person than whats your favorite movie. And its in those moments that you can see what kind of person someone is and if you can live with it.[/QUOTE]

I'm not saying you have to have the same favourite movie or badn or anything, but be able to enjoy things together, because that's half the fun. Me and my girlfriend only have roughly similar music tastes, but she appreciates what I like and we enjoy going to the occasional gig or club together.

[Trogdor]

Sharing common interests is nice but not required, being able to enjoy doing stuff together is.

[itsthejayden]

So there's this girl I've been talking to, she's pretty cool and all but I think I'm addicted to her in a way.

Like, If I'm not around her, I feel all demotivated and I don't want to do anything. Shit sucks man.

[NoSaleHale]

[QUOTE=NoSaleHale;44027834]hey everyone, first time poster here, so bear with me: I have been suffering from loneliness for quite the time now. I come to you today for advice. I'd like to point out first that i am not suffering from loneliness because i have no friends, no thats not why i am here (I do have friends), my problem is that i dont have a significant other. I have faced rejection before which has worn me down for quite the time but thats not the issue, it is that I dont know where to find my (possible) special someone, how to approach women properly, how to do anything really. Maybe you can help me out with that?

Thanks for your attention.[/QUOTE]

posted this earlier, seemed to have drowned in the flood of posts here

Got some additional info though: Currently visiting school but going to start working later this year

[Memnoth]

I stand in front of a choice between two girls; One has anger management issues though she's way younger than me and she is beautiful and very intelligent. The other one is a mental-patient I met at a hospital (guess I'm a mental-patient too), and she's a model. Actually both of them are mental-patients, I met both of them in a hospital (I'm bipolar, I visit hospitals frequently). I've cuddled with the younger one, a lot, but the other one I've actually kissed. Who the hell do I choose.

[NoDachi]

put them in a thunder dome

[JackAttack]

[QUOTE=NoDachi;44090407]put them in a thunder dome[/QUOTE]

I believe that this is the go to answer for any problem really.

[biccboi]

[QUOTE=Memnoth;44089935]I stand in front of a choice between two girls; One has anger management issues though she's way younger than me and she is beautiful and very intelligent. The other one is a mental-patient I met at a hospital (guess I'm a mental-patient too), and she's a model. Actually both of them are mental-patients, I met both of them in a hospital (I'm bipolar, I visit hospitals frequently). I've cuddled with the younger one, a lot, but the other one I've actually kissed. Who the hell do I choose.[/QUOTE]

You forgot the third choice, neither

[Mort and Charon]

[QUOTE=Memnoth;44089935]I stand in front of a choice between two girls; One has anger management issues though she's way younger than me and she is beautiful and very intelligent. The other one is a mental-patient I met at a hospital (guess I'm a mental-patient too), and she's a model. Actually both of them are mental-patients, I met both of them in a hospital (I'm bipolar, I visit hospitals frequently). I've cuddled with the younger one, a lot, but the other one I've actually kissed. Who the hell do I choose.[/QUOTE]

Sort your own problems out first, and they should sort theirs out as well (well as well as you can with mental health issues).

Whilst you could be supportive of each other and sympathise better that most with each other, the relationship won't work if you are constantly having to having to pick up the other person or support them through things.

Make sure you're both happy in yourself before being together.

[fear me]

Man. OkCupid sucks :v:

[NoDachi]

why

[fear me]

It's just... discouraging? It's just like my normal life: no one wants anything to do with me.

[NoDachi]

do you want to know how many people haven't replied to me

lots

some people just don't dig that soulmates.jpg

[biccboi]

even the swedish girl wouldn't answer and i gave him a line and all