Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[fear me]

Even people that do message back stop after the first reply or so

Is that normal

[biccboi]

change ur game d00d

[Daniel Smith]

I talked to a close friend online about this and they said that you guys are a bunch of cynical assholes who know nothing about relationships.

[biccboi]

tell us who it is so we can beat him up

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=JohanGS;44093414]tell us who it is so we can beat him up[/QUOTE]

I shouldn't listen to you guys, it's true what my friend says you guys are all negative especially Squidman.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44093361]I talked to a close friend online about this and they said that you guys are a bunch of cynical assholes who know nothing about relationships.[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure a good portion of people in this thread have been in relationships before and probably know what they're talking about.

[RobbL]

From my totally unscientific observations i've noticed that one difference between relationships and friendships is that the latter doesn't depend on commonality so much as the former. It's much easier to sustain a friendship (even a very close one) with a lot of difference than a relationship with a lot of difference.
Probably explains the whole 'friendzone' bullshit too. In reality the two people are just not compatible or similar enough for a romantic relationship to be easily sustained (usually one of them is too infatuated to notice this), so it's shifted back to a friendship where it's more likely to work
Take all this with a grain of salt though.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=JohanGS;44090729]You forgot the third choice, neither[/QUOTE]

or the fourth: Both.

[biccboi]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44093724]or the fourth: Both.[/QUOTE]

I was thinking of writing that but one of them would be enough for a potential disaster lol

[IlluminatiRex]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44093462]I shouldn't listen to you guys, it's true what my friend says you guys are all negative especially Squidman.[/QUOTE]

I agree, this thread has too much negativity for its title :(.

[Emugod]

So, I've been noticing, that with online dating, I find that I ask questions more so than the girl does. I mean, is it seriously just the guys job to further the conversation? Can't a girl be curious about the guy or maybe add something to the conversation other than answering questions and that's it? I mean, I'd love to get to know the other person, but sometimes I just get stumped on what to ask or say.
I don't really understand online dating. I'm not even interested in finding a relationship anymore, I just want to meet some people and make friends. Preferably girls because I have a lack of those in my life and I could use the experience of actually talking to a girl.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44093361]I talked to a close friend online about this and they said that you guys are a bunch of cynical assholes who know nothing about relationships.[/QUOTE]

do we know him, he sounds bitter

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Emugod;44095154]So, I've been noticing, that with online dating, I find that I ask questions more so than the girl does. I mean, is it seriously just the guys job to further the conversation? Can't a girl be curious about the guy or maybe add something to the conversation other than answering questions and that's it? I mean, I'd love to get to know the other person, but sometimes I just get stumped on what to ask or say.
I don't really understand online dating. I'm not even interested in finding a relationship anymore, I just want to meet some people and make friends. Preferably girls because I have a lack of those in my life and I could use the experience of actually talking to a girl.[/QUOTE]

Something I like to say when starting a conversation with someone is to ask them if theyre spambots or fake accounts. Stuff like that usually catches them offguard, for example when I say "I bet youre not really the cute girl in your pics but actually some 40 year old virgin who lives in his moms basement and plays WoW all day"

One time one girl repled "I actually play WoW"

[KommunistBear]

I can't tell if you're serious or not.

[chinatown]

i would take a screenshot but its not in english

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44095933]Something I like to say when starting a conversation with someone is to ask them if theyre spambots or fake accounts. Stuff like that usually catches them offguard, for example when I say "I bet youre not really the cute girl in your pics but actually some 40 year old virgin who lives in his moms basement and plays WoW all day"

One time one girl repled "I actually play WoW"[/QUOTE]

How does that even work? That's absolutely opposite of everything I believe. Damnit.

[HighdefGE]

[QUOTE=Emugod;44095154]So, I've been noticing, that with online dating, I find that I ask questions more so than the girl does. I mean, is it seriously just the guys job to further the conversation? Can't a girl be curious about the guy or maybe add something to the conversation other than answering questions and that's it? I mean, I'd love to get to know the other person, but sometimes I just get stumped on what to ask or say.
I don't really understand online dating. I'm not even interested in finding a relationship anymore, I just want to meet some people and make friends. Preferably girls because I have a lack of those in my life and I could use the experience of actually talking to a girl.[/QUOTE]

Because your conversations are boring, that's why. In your other post you literally talked about nothing but school. The problem with your conversations is you keep going into interview mode, where it almost plays out like a job interview with you asking boring questions and them giving you boring answers. Also don't be afraid to be risky because playing it safe isn't going to get you anywhere.

In my opinion you shouldn't even be having conversations like that via your phone or your computer. Why can't you actually meet them in real life and talk to them? I also wouldn't just stick to being on your computer; I bet there's countless girls where you live and study, so why not go approach them?

[editline]1st March 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=redBadger;44062484]I want to know what happens next![/QUOTE]

Late reply, but nothing happened much. I called twice, once Wednesday and once the next day and she never picked up nor called back. I figured she won't pick up a third time. So today I just deleted her number and skype from my phone because I decided a girl like that isn't worth it in the end.

For the past few days I've been feeling really down because this was the first girl I actually emotionally connected with and then all of a sudden it's gone. But I feel better day after day. I don't think she'll call back but if she does I'll probably have to lay it out for her because I absolutely refuse to go through the same processes over again. In the meanwhile, I'll start talking to more girls.

[Metherat]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44093361]I talked to a close friend online about this and they said that you guys are a bunch of cynical assholes who know nothing about relationships.[/QUOTE]

I told my boyfriend about you guys and the rest of facepunch and he laughed for a while, and said he should probably block facepunch off of his network.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44093361]I talked to a close friend online about this and they said that you guys are a bunch of cynical assholes who know nothing about relationships.[/QUOTE]

I'm OP, so i'm obviously biased, but the community really knows a thing or two about relationships. Idk why your friend is so pissed off.

[Aries]

hey guys my exgirlfriend with millionaire parents (private doctors, runs the hospitals, has politicians over for dinner, owns the sports team, hangs out with the mayor, was going to run for office but decided they were too busy) is telling people i know and probably others that i don't that i used to beat her and since her family is so extrememly influential in this town i'm wondering if i should maybe consult legal advice just in case? i dunno. someone help though, that'd be cool

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=HighdefGE;44096836]Because your conversations are boring, that's why. In your other post you literally talked about nothing but school. The problem with your conversations is you keep going into interview mode, where it almost plays out like a job interview with you asking boring questions and them giving you boring answers. Also don't be afraid to be risky because playing it safe isn't going to get you anywhere.

In my opinion you shouldn't even be having conversations like that via your phone or your computer. Why can't you actually meet them in real life and talk to them? I also wouldn't just stick to being on your computer; I bet there's countless girls where you live and study, so why not go approach them?
[/QUOTE]

So, you read a small portion of a larger conversation and assumed that's how every conversation is? I mean, that portion I just couldn't get anything out of her. I was hoping that it would lead to another conversation, but it didn't.

But, I'll agree that some of my conversations are boring. I'm not good at conversations, and that's one of the reasons I joined a dating site. I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to hold a good conversation.

Also, I can't meet them in real life because I don't feel that meeting up after talking for a few hours justifies a meet up, and I don't have a car to actually meet up with them. And, I've talked to several girls in real life, I just find it slightly easier to talk over the computer. Anyway, I might meet up with a girl I met on one site. We've been talking for a while, but the only problem is distance, transportation, and time.

[Aries]

we dated for three years, moved town together, it was pretty serious, in case that helps the case

[Inspector Jones]

YAY! FIRST KISS EVER! :dance:

At the age of almost 24, it's taken me awhile. Still I feel ecstatic.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Aries;44098669]hey guys my exgirlfriend with millionaire parents (private doctors, runs the hospitals, has politicians over for dinner, owns the sports team, hangs out with the mayor, was going to run for office but decided they were too busy) is telling people i know and probably others that i don't that i used to beat her and since her family is so extrememly influential in this town i'm wondering if i should maybe consult legal advice just in case? i dunno. someone help though, that'd be cool[/QUOTE]

Look you can either rise above it, consult with her parents directly, or seek legal advice. It depends how seriously you want to treat this. Legal advice would be pretty dramatic but you probably do have some sort of leg to stand on if she can't produce any evidence. Do people even believe her?

[Aries]

no idea, i posted ages ago how people used to think i was a huge cunt and this explains why. i guess most people believed her at some point. it's not like she can prove something that didn't happen so do i even have anything to worry about?

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Inspector Jones;44098864]YAY! FIRST KISS EVER! :dance:

At the age of almost 24, it's taken me awhile. Still I feel ecstatic.[/QUOTE]

still nice.
Hopefuflly you didnt look like a walrus..............did you?

[Dakiin Dovah]

I have a girlfriend now. :downs:

[editline]2nd March 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44099762]still nice.
Hopefuflly you didnt look like a walrus..............did you?[/QUOTE]

You're the bitch that ghost rated me. Have a box in return for my trouble.

[ichiman94]

[QUOTE=JohanGS;44092965]even the [b]swedish girl[/b] wouldn't answer and i gave [b]him[/b] a line and all[/QUOTE]

wat

-

How can I relax in social situations? People say that I'm too rigid.

[Mort and Charon]

[QUOTE=Aries;44098975]no idea, i posted ages ago how people used to think i was a huge cunt and this explains why. i guess most people believed her at some point. it's not like she can prove something that didn't happen so do i even have anything to worry about?[/QUOTE]
If she starts putting it up on social networking sites, you've got good evidence she's been saying that, and could threaten her with a libel/slander lawsuit probably (I don't know if anyone with more legal understanding could confirm that).

It's a pretty bad accusation to make, not far off a false rape accusation, and she could seriously damage your reputation especially if her family has such influence.

[Uncle Fassbender]

[QUOTE=HighdefGE;44096836]Because your conversations are boring, that's why. In your other post you literally talked about nothing but school. The problem with your conversations is you keep going into interview mode, where it almost plays out like a job interview with you asking boring questions and them giving you boring answers. Also don't be afraid to be risky because playing it safe isn't going to get you anywhere.[/QUOTE]

I have a similar problem to the guy you replied to, and you're right, it does feel like I'm interviewing them. I have a very hazy idea of what is crossing the line and what is not, so I play it way too safe. With that in mind, what you recommend I talk about/bring up instead (without freaking them out but also without turning it to 'interview mode')?