Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
Ok so i still havent really gotten a decent chance yet to approach that girl. I really need to just do it i think, or else ill just run out of time. Thing is i probably will never catch her alone, and i only ever see her twice in a day, tops. I just feel like someone you dont know walking up and talking to you would be sort of weird but, i dunno, i guess i just have to hope that doesnt drive her away at all. I figured i'd say something along the lines of "Hey, so, you seem pretty cool, and I know you're friends with _______, so i thought id introduce myself." etc. Not really sure about the first part. Or any of it. Thoughts? :V
[QUOTE=riku2211;40491024]Ok so i still havent really gotten a decent chance yet to approach that girl. I really need to just do it i think, or else ill just run out of time. Thing is i probably will never catch her alone, and i only ever see her twice in a day, tops. I just feel like someone you dont know walking up and talking to you would be sort of weird but, i dunno, i guess i just have to hope that doesnt drive her away at all. I figured i'd say something along the lines of "Hey, so, you seem pretty cool, and I know you're friends with _______, so i thought id introduce myself." etc. Not really sure about the first part. Or any of it. Thoughts? :V[/QUOTE]
Just stop thinking it over and do it :v
[QUOTE=Rhenae;40491485]Just stop thinking it over and do it :v[/QUOTE]
Well yeah im trying not to think into it too much i just dont want to say something stupid and you guys general know what "something stupid" is
[QUOTE=Eric95;40476662]Alright, so I have a bit of a problem. Some of you may remember this from a while back, but I'll sum it up to you: I met a really cute, shy girl from the grade below me at school who is a really good artist. I'm shy too, but I managed to muster up the courage to add her on Facebook and send her a message. We messaged there for a while and then we started chatting on Skype. We found out that we live only about 3 minutes away from each other, and since then we've been hanging out 1-2 times every other week or so (i'm her only IRL friend outside of school and she's the same to me). Of course I'm in love with her and I thought I was doing really well until I found out that she's a lesbian and has a long-distance girlfriend who she talks to and has met one or two times. Obviously this made me very sad but I didn't mention it to her as I feared revealing me being in love with her would ruin our relationship as friends. This proved to be unnecessary as a friend revealed to her that I was in love with her and she said it was fine, she had suspected it earlier. Anyway, we're still hanging out regularly and I'm still very much in love with her.
So, now to what I was going to ask about: We participated in Ludum Dare as a team last weekend. I did the programming and animation and such, and she worked on art. Basically we just sat in my room for the majority of 72 hours and made a very strange game about planting trees and making babies. She's really fun to work with, pretty much the perfect collaborator (motivated, skilled, productive), and that just makes me love her more. And that's the problem, as we were working I couldn't stop thinking about how much I love her and how much of a good time we were having. It was kind of weird for me, sitting next to and working with somebody I am incredibly attracted to for about three days straight while listening to her playlist of love songs playing on shuffle in the background. I really don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not even thinking about sex or anything, more like general intimacy. I haven't even tried to hug her yet because I'm afraid it'd ruin our friendship even though I usually hug all of my female friends.
tl;dr I'm in love with my best (IRL) friend and I can't stop thinking about her but she's a lesbian please help[/QUOTE]
If she's strictly a lesbian, there's not much you can do, unfortunately.
It's really a shame, because this story looks almost perfect from all other perspectives.
[QUOTE=riku2211;40491534]Well yeah im trying not to think into it too much i just dont want to say something stupid and you guys general know what "something stupid" is[/QUOTE]
the stupidest thing you can do is make a big fuss out of it like it's a marriage proposal and not just asking someone out
[editline]1st May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Eric95;40476662]So, now to what I was going to ask about: We participated in Ludum Dare as a team last weekend. I did the programming and animation and such, and she worked on art. Basically we just sat in my room for the majority of 72 hours and made a very strange game about planting trees and making babies. She's really fun to work with, pretty much the perfect collaborator (motivated, skilled, productive), and that just makes me love her more. And that's the problem, as we were working I couldn't stop thinking about how much I love her and how much of a good time we were having. It was kind of weird for me, sitting next to and working with somebody I am incredibly attracted to for about three days straight while listening to her playlist of love songs playing on shuffle in the background. I really don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not even thinking about sex or anything, more like general intimacy. I haven't even tried to hug her yet because I'm afraid it'd ruin our friendship even though I usually hug all of my female friends.
tl;dr I'm in love with my best (IRL) friend and I can't stop thinking about her but she's a lesbian please help[/QUOTE]
non-physical intimacy isn't something exclusive to romantic relationships. it's normal for friends to hug each other and stuff like that. just because she's lesbian doesn't mean you can't be close
if she's lesbian all you can do is accept that nothing's going to happen between you romantically and move on, it'd be really shitty to try and pursue a relationship with her when she's already made it clear she's not interested
Oh god I am so out of shape. I need to start exercising again.
my bf went on a diet so now instead of picking up chips and soda at the grocery store we stock up on vegetables and salad, it's great
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40493986]my bf went on a diet so now instead of picking up chips and soda at the grocery store we stock up on vegetables and salad, it's great[/QUOTE]
I've switched to semi-healthy eating but this week with my bf living with my it is impossible. He is a terrible influence. He eats constantly.
I mostly eat crap and rely on minimal eating (when by myself I really don't eat much a day) and exercise to stay semi-healthy.
junk makes my stomach hurt a lot so usually i just make my own healthy food
i think ill eventually be like my mum, calorie counting peas and wondering if i've cleansed enough toxins this week
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40493986]my bf went on a diet so now instead of picking up chips and soda at the grocery store we stock up on vegetables and salad, it's great[/QUOTE]
After months of being heavy drinkers and very unhealthy, my girlfriend decided to become a vegetarian. It was hard for me to try because I was living with my Dad, so it was basically eat whatever he cooks. Once I moved in with her, we went completely vegan. It was very strange at first, but now I feel much healthier than I have ever been.
I went from drinking a 12 case of Pepsi a day, plus a case of beer every other day, to cutting alcohol almost entirely out of my diet, and cutting soda out of my diet entirely. Even just replacing those two things has made a huge difference in how I function throughout the day. Our junk food is very limited due to our eating choices, so we usually just get a box of crackers or something for movie nights, or a bag of dairy-free chips, then she makes some guacamole. (Those nights are my favourite).
life without alcohol, LMAO
how would i even feel feelings anymore
drinking an assload of fizzy drinks on a daily basis must be terrifying
your teeth would hurt so much and your stomach would feel all horrible
[QUOTE=thisispain;40495000]life without alcohol, LMAO
how would i even feel feelings anymore[/QUOTE]
It's why I haven't quit drinking entirely. Well, I have feelings with or without, but you know what I mean. It's nice for me to kick back with a couple of beers on a day where I don't work or have school, just sit in front of a video game or something, and have a couple beers. My girlfriend is dead-set against drinking, but she also hates my smoking, which I plan on kicking out of my life pretty quick here.
[QUOTE=Bobie;40495073]drinking an assload of fizzy drinks on a daily basis must be terrifying
your teeth would hurt so much and your stomach would feel all horrible[/QUOTE]
My teeth weren't a huge issue, the dentist always said my teeth were great every time I went in. The main issue was my stomach, I did have ulcers a number of years back from heavy drinking at a very young age (around 14 - 15, I don't miss being a stupid teenager), and from drinking so much pop.
I remember waking up for school every morning and feeling like I needed to either vomit or shit my pants, and then at school my stomach would just ache and ache and ache all day long. I'd usually bring a can or two of Pepsi to school in order to fight off the aching, it somehow helped, kind of like a physical withdrawal, perhaps.
Thinking back to it makes me cringe, I am so glad the most unhealthy I get nowadays is coffee.
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40495376]she also hates my smoking, which I plan on kicking out of my life pretty quick here.[/QUOTE]
honestly, quitting smoking was one of the best things ive ever done
[QUOTE=thisispain;40495390]honestly, quitting smoking was one of the best things ive ever done[/QUOTE]
I quit for two months during the summer, mostly due to financial issues, but I was also cleaning up from drugs around that time, it made sense to do both at once. I only smoked when I drank in those two months, so once a week or something, I'd have a few with people at parties, but had no cravings the day after, so it wasn't a huge issue.
I've been smoking since I was about thirteen, so that makes six years this year, since I only just turned nineteen last month. It's definitely taken it's toll on me, I can't go for runs with my girlfriend for long periods of time, though I still put in the effort as best I can. I'd like to be able to run with her and keep up though, and just get through the day without having the idea of smoking at the back of my mind.
I think one big issue is that smokers create a sort of illusion that a cigarette can be rewarding, like working a four hour shift at work, I tell myself, "Yeah, two more hours until my break, I can go for a cigarette. I've earned this". Or some shit like that, but really, it is more of a punishment than anything in the long run.
The main thing I love about smoking is the social part of it, I can go outside with my manager and smoke with him, he gives me extra breaks to go smoking when he does, etc.
That's the most difficult part of quitting, the social part of it all.
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40494992]After months of being heavy drinkers and very unhealthy, my girlfriend decided to become a vegetarian. It was hard for me to try because I was living with my Dad, so it was basically eat whatever he cooks. Once I moved in with her, we went completely vegan. It was very strange at first, but now I feel much healthier than I have ever been.
I went from drinking a 12 case of Pepsi a day, plus a case of beer every other day, to cutting alcohol almost entirely out of my diet, and cutting soda out of my diet entirely. Even just replacing those two things has made a huge difference in how I function throughout the day. Our junk food is very limited due to our eating choices, so we usually just get a box of crackers or something for movie nights, or a bag of dairy-free chips, then she makes some guacamole. (Those nights are my favourite).[/QUOTE]
Just make sure you get all the nutrients you need, vegetarianism is often quite healthy but it can be very easy to develop deficiencies of difference sorts on a vegan diet, sometimes I can take a bit of planning
[QUOTE=Rhenae;40496037]Just make sure you get all the nutrients you need, vegetarianism is often quite healthy but it can be very easy to develop deficiencies of difference sorts on a vegan diet, sometimes I can take a bit of planning[/QUOTE]
We take vitamin B12 for our protein, as well as getting it from almond milk and soy milk, it seems to be the best source for it. I use quite a bit of peanut butter on toast or cracker snacks, so getting a decent amount of my daily fat values from that as well.
I've lost a lot of weight since starting the diet, which I didn't necessarily need to do... I'm 6'1 or so and weigh only 130 pounds now, so I'd like to gain some weight back, just isn't easy to do with the diet.
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40496162]We take vitamin B12 for our protein, as well as getting it from almond milk and soy milk, it seems to be the best source for it. I use quite a bit of peanut butter on toast or cracker snacks, so getting a decent amount of my daily fat values from that as well.
I've lost a lot of weight since starting the diet, which I didn't necessarily need to do... I'm 6'1 or so and weigh only 130 pounds now, so I'd like to gain some weight back, just isn't easy to do with the diet.[/QUOTE]
Thats good, soy milk especially seems to have every vitamin in existence thrown in it. It's one of my favourite drinks since I got some :v: It's definitely been helpful for me since I don't eat that healthy, and I was certainly lacking some vitamins.
Plant fats are not fully hydrogenated, making their structure bendy and spreading them out, animal fats are fully hydrogenated so they have a straight structure, packing them closer together. You'll have to consume a lot of plant fats to equal out to some of your animal fat, unless you eat artifically hydrogenated things (like margarine) but those arn't very healthy since they have some trans fats (badly formed fats your body can't digest properly so they just get to float in your blood stream)
It might seem like your eating a lot of fats and oils when it really doesn't balance out to a lot
edit:
I talk too much :v:
[QUOTE=Rhenae;40496270]Thats good, soy milk especially seems to have every vitamin in existence thrown in it. It's one of my favourite drinks since I got some :v:[/QUOTE]
my brother tricked me into drinking soy milk as a kid by pretending to drink it, saying it was good and then having me try it
jokes on him because i ended up loving it!!!!
[QUOTE=Yahnich;40495430]quitting smoking made me 80% less cool[/QUOTE]
pffah, im already so cool that i can take that hit and come out fine B)
but have you seen my record collection
you became more cool for quitting smoking
duh
ive got like almost a thousand vinyls, ive just started giving them away to people
the supremes, brazil 66, isaac hayes, marvin gaye, the talking heads, lcd soundsystem, kraftwerk, satie, rachmaninoff, the entire mozart requiem collection, john coltrane, yes, the isley brothers, nation of ulysses, the misfits, dead kennedys, black flag
i just show people my records and im automatically raised to at least cool level 5
also madvillain, stereolab, godspeed, serge gainsbourg, and burial
[editline]1st May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Yahnich;40496609]what the fuk is wrong with you people and your enormous piles of books and records
jeez get an mp3 player and a kindle you geezers[/QUOTE]
eww digital; gross
do you even VHS, bro?
im trying to get a enormous pile of records, jokes on you yahnich
soy milk isn't that bad. i have slight lactose intolerance so i tried it for a while but now i don't really drink milk (i take calcium supplements anyway)
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40495458]I quit for two months during the summer, mostly due to financial issues, but I was also cleaning up from drugs around that time, it made sense to do both at once. I only smoked when I drank in those two months, so once a week or something, I'd have a few with people at parties, but had no cravings the day after, so it wasn't a huge issue.
I've been smoking since I was about thirteen, so that makes six years this year, since I only just turned nineteen last month. It's definitely taken it's toll on me, I can't go for runs with my girlfriend for long periods of time, though I still put in the effort as best I can. I'd like to be able to run with her and keep up though, and just get through the day without having the idea of smoking at the back of my mind.
I think one big issue is that smokers create a sort of illusion that a cigarette can be rewarding, like working a four hour shift at work, I tell myself, "Yeah, two more hours until my break, I can go for a cigarette. I've earned this". Or some shit like that, but really, it is more of a punishment than anything in the long run.
The main thing I love about smoking is the social part of it, I can go outside with my manager and smoke with him, he gives me extra breaks to go smoking when he does, etc.
That's the most difficult part of quitting, the social part of it all.[/QUOTE]
it's awesome reading your posts about fixing your diet and now trying to quit smoking. my roommate's a smoker (i think he started around the same age you did) and eats extremely unhealthy and it bothers me a lot how little he cares about his health. he has an autoimmune disorder (as well as some other conditions i don't remember) that was caused by drug use that he started from a young age and it's just frustrating to me that he doesn't care that his current habits aren't doing him any favors with the health problems he already has.
it's really inspiring to see that you're working so hard to improve your lifestyle and now trying to quit smoking too, and it's good that your girlfriend's taking interest in your health and encouraging you.
Love me some of that 320kbps, I dont drink pop all that much but if I feel like a "detox" I just ramp up the amount of fiber n water I take in, spend a week shitting it all out dragging whatever else is lurking with it.
Tip - Dont eat 3/4 box of all bran thinking it will help you stay awake whilst writing an assignment over night. The following morning you might not be able to get off the shitter to actually print and hand the damn thing in.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40428736]kind of sad right now
my roommate started dating this new girl, i don't really have any friends aside from bf and roommate and she's been over a lot. from what i could tell they got along incredibly well, he was really happy. and aside from that she's probably the sweetest person i've ever met - she's gone through some really tough shit (she told me she's been assaulted 3 times in the last month and most recently she's become homeless because one of those people was her roommate) but she still manages to be the most cheerful person in the world. we went out for lunch and i remember her complimenting an older woman on her hair and the woman responded that she just made her day
and we played fable together for a little while the other night and i was really wasted and ended up blabbering a bit about how i think she's really admirable as a person for how she manages to keep such a positive attitude. like i'm really quiet but i think i bonded with her a bit
and then tonight as my roommate was going to sleep he suddenly tells us he's thinking of breaking up with her because she smokes pot.
he does too. he has smoked it several times in the past month or two, in our apartment. he also is a smoker, drinks frequently, and has the worst diet i've ever heard of. and now he's thinking of abandoning this girl who's been incredibly good to him because of a habit he has too
i mean it's not any of my business i guess. but i was really happy the other day because i thought she'd finally have something consistent and somewhere safe to stay and maybe live. my bf and i both love having her around and i was looking forward to spending more time with her but that would be pretty hard to do if they broke up. roommate and i are close and i don't want to be on both sides of whatever tension there is afterward.
just don't understand how he can go from one night saying "i like her more than i'll ever admit" and then basically telling us "i'm bored of her. thinking of breaking up"[/QUOTE]
oh, update on this
it turns out there are a lot more reasons than her smoking pot
for instance apparently her texan hospitality does not apply to people of other ethnicities because after my roommate showed her a video of a black male on youtube she started spewing off racist slurs and complaining about how "some of them are ok but most of them aren't"
[QUOTE=Boss;40496685]Love me some of that 320kbps, I dont drink pop all that much but if I feel like a "detox" I just ramp up the amount of fiber n water I take in, spend a week shitting it all out dragging whatever else is lurking with it.
Tip - Dont eat 3/4 box of all bran thinking it will help you stay awake whilst writing an assignment over night. The following morning you might not be able to get off the shitter to actually print and hand the damn thing in.[/QUOTE]
thats just great, good for you
[QUOTE=lifemonkey;40495376]It's why I haven't quit drinking entirely. Well, I have feelings with or without, but you know what I mean. It's nice for me to kick back with a couple of beers on a day where I don't work or have school, just sit in front of a video game or something, and have a couple beers. My girlfriend is dead-set against drinking, but she also hates my smoking, which I plan on kicking out of my life pretty quick here.
My teeth weren't a huge issue, the dentist always said my teeth were great every time I went in. The main issue was my stomach, I did have ulcers a number of years back from heavy drinking at a very young age (around 14 - 15, I don't miss being a stupid teenager), and from drinking so much pop.
I remember waking up for school every morning and feeling like I needed to either vomit or shit my pants, and then at school my stomach would just ache and ache and ache all day long. I'd usually bring a can or two of Pepsi to school in order to fight off the aching, it somehow helped, kind of like a physical withdrawal, perhaps.
Thinking back to it makes me cringe, I am so glad the most unhealthy I get nowadays is coffee.[/QUOTE]
If you drink coffee black, then I think it wouldn't be so unhealthy.
lifemonkey i hope you dont have severe withdrawal issues tho
i still in times of stress really ache over having a cigarette, its kind of pathetic but i can't help it. its what happens when you reach for it to mitigate anxiety.
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