Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=itsthejayden;44118241]How do you guys deal with sorta long distance relationships? That girl I was talking about might be moving to another school and I don't have a car. :/[/QUOTE]

Make sure you get a clean, presentable car.

I am currently driving an old audi 80 that's as old as me (22yo) in fact it was the car that drove me home when I was born.

Anyway, let's say moss is growing in some crevices, has a huge crack on the hood from a previous crash. Some of the paint is wearing off, doors screech when they open. Radio doesn't work anymore, it has some annoying crevices where dirt and leaves get into whenever I park under a tree, and it's a bitch to take 'em out. Also there are some stains on the windshield that just won't come off.

Sometimes although rarely a button will fall of the ceiling light or the left side mirror will pop off it's socked just hanging my a couple of wires.

The car has been amazing when it comes to engine and mobility but I feel like I'm some kind of child molester driving that thing.

Also have to buy fuel, keep insurance up to date, send it to repair often.

Sometimes I miss catching the bus.

There is something naively romantic about meeting at the bus station and going somewhere together in the bus.

Bottom line is: Make sure you get a decent car. Doesn't need to be expensive, just decent.

[chinatown]

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQzsK4FAnx0[/media]

[fear me]

Jesus there's like a massive number of girls online who I have mutual affection for. It's getting pretty crazy.

I'm not complaining though. But they all live miles and miles away and it kind of sucks in that way.

[shian]

so I want to ask you guys, any of you tried dating/social applications or sites? The apps seems immensely popular now, and what are you guy's views on it? good? bad? there's a few, and they are like those instant messaging apps, cent you get to chat with anyone on it.

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=fear me;44118093]Oh shit are you me[/QUOTE]

I'm 22 and didn't even get that far, what's wrong about it?

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;44118107]eh doesn't really matter it depends on the girl

[I]many[/I] girls i know are fine with a buffet first date

but like jo said it's not a date unless you say it is one[/QUOTE]

Yeah the reason I'm unsure is because in swedish i pretty much worded it as "i'll take you out-"

But hey if it happens it happens and maybe she wants to escalate it from there and i'll be a happy man

[edmyoshi]

[QUOTE=katbug;44117871]My school has literally 75% guys in it, and the entire school caps out at 300 students.

Before I went to this school, I was home schooled for seven years, right after first grade. I know this didn't impact me socially, because only recently my friends found out, and they were honestly surprised (I'm very socially extroverted)

But due to this combination, the farthest I've ever gone with a girl is a hug (pretty lame, right?) (did I mention I'm 17) and only gone on a few dates.

How can I fix this, I've been feeling pretty lonely and like shit lately

[editline]3rd March 2014[/editline]

also, I think one of my largest "problems" is that if I were to have a girlfriend, I'd be looking for someone who's more of a best friend rather than a drama-filled pathway to occasional sex. I've seen that happen with my friends and am absolutely not interested in it at all.[/QUOTE]

Been lurking this thread for months, maybe a year and finally decided to make an account just because of this and i regularly check the news forum on this site. Loving the advice some of you guys give to each other, especially remember someone named Rhenae or something. Don't worry about not having done something above poster^. Sometimes i just feel lonely that I've never had a girlfriend or Significant Other for the time-being but don't let yourself down if you think people judge you for that. Also I'm 21, turning 22 in a few months. Still no girlfriend but I'm not in a rush since it wouldn't mean much if i just pushed myself to find just anyone. I rather find that significant other to click with again. Even if it's been a miserable road, it will all be worth it because i remember the last time and it was really nice tbh.

I didn't get my first kiss until just after high school. I met this one girl when i wasn't trying anymore. One thing led to another, and everything about her was memorable. Holding hands, being cute, having her sleep over at my house almost everyday. Remembering the little things like how i could make her laugh, fill her with butterflies, and cute conversations. I felt like i was venturing and exploring a new world; a connection that I've never been able to achieve with an actually person. Never got to the point where we made it official but things happened and we stopped talking and seeing each other. Gotta admit tho, that I've never regretted being with her and how it all ended since she was my first actually S.O. after running and chasing around other girls previously that just never clicked. Meeting this person made me forget of all the past troubles I've had even tho i don't talk or see her at all anymore and it's been like what 2 - 3 years. It was hard learning what separation was like. To have to cut someone out of your life so you wouldn't lose sleep thinking about them anymore.

I went through like a year of feeling miserable after that but it doesn't bother me when i think about it or when people started asking. I started seeing other girls and dating after that but just never sealed the deal. Sometimes i think i might just not be the relationship boyfriend-girlfriend type of person. I know for sure I just really like the feeling of being wanted by someone and giving her the same in return.

Anyways fast-forward to now, lately I've been feeling pretty bummed out and disappointed after finding out that me and a close friend I've known for years were just a [I]fwb 'thing'[/I]. I really thought we were seeing each other the past couple of months since we were going out, holding hands, kissing. And leading to one thing and another. After letting her know that i wasn't really sure what i wanted and i did start to grow on her, she told me she can't get over her past relationship and that life has started to be very hard on her. She pretty much told me it wasn't going to work out even though she tried her best and so hard to because she really cared about me. What do you guys do to get over something like this? I've been silent and keeping my distance because i clearly don't know the next path to take. I know it's moving on but how do i stop myself from being miserable about the troubles and disappointment? :(

[Aries]

There's nothing you can do, because it's natural to feel that. Do you have Steam? Hit me up, we can play a few games to take your mind off things.

[Leader of Me]

I met this girl who had leukemia when she was 7 years old and relapsed last year. It was really depressing but we got close throughout the night and fell asleep cuddling each other. I'm really sad though thinking about it and to be honest I've cried, I have had relatives who have died of cancer and its so shit. She can't have kids, she feels weak all the time and she has to wear a wig. It sucks so bad that good people go through this shit.

[edmyoshi]

[QUOTE=Aries;44122968]There's nothing you can do, because it's natural to feel that. Do you have Steam? Hit me up, we can play a few games to take your mind off things.[/QUOTE]

Yeah i do but i usually just play day z if i ever get the chance and rust sometimes. I guess i don't game much like i used to anymore. I usually just go to school and work. It sucks that all i can do is just continue on being this way and take what comes by and not for granted. I guess I'm alright

[redBadger]

Ugh had the perfect opportunity to talk to this girl today and didn't. Fuck my life

[edmyoshi]

[QUOTE=redBadger;44133084]Ugh had the perfect opportunity to talk to this girl today and didn't. Fuck my life[/QUOTE]

Don't dwell on it. It will happen again or not or with someone else. Just be more comfortable next time.

[itsthejayden]

pumped. going to lunch with this girl who is super awesome in like 10 hours
i should sleep but i cant

[NoDachi]

[QUOTE=katbug;44117871]also, I think one of my largest "problems" is that if I were to have a girlfriend, I'd be looking for someone who's more of a best friend rather than a drama-filled pathway to occasional sex. I've seen that happen with my friends and am absolutely not interested in it at all.[/QUOTE]

you have a strange understanding of wimmin if you think the normal girlfriend is a drama-filled pathway to occasional sex

[Dysentery]

[QUOTE=katbug;44117871]How can I fix this, I've been feeling pretty lonely and like shit lately[/QUOTE]

idk have you tried talking to girls and asking them out?

[editline]5th March 2014[/editline]

that normally works for me

[titopei]

[QUOTE=Dysentery;44138366]idk have you tried talking to girls and asking them out?

[editline]5th March 2014[/editline]

that normally works for me[/QUOTE]

really? i tried that once and it turned out to be a dog.

[Breakfast Buddy]

So I have a question

Let me put it in perspective, I am in mid-late twenties have a career and a car and housing. I have moderate anxiety and depression, but my self esteem is good and I'm healthy and attractive.

So I met this girl through a friend, shes amazingly awesome. We have gone on like 12 dates, laughing really hard the whole time and talking and just generally being awesome. During this, she'll grab my hand and hold it or rub my back. However, sometimes I try to go in for the kiss and get rejected, or just a little peck. Happens even when we're both alone at each others places. Most of the time, I initiate the dates. But she starts texting me a lot during the day. What does this mean? Just looking for some other perspectives to calm my nerves

[Dysentery]

[QUOTE=titopei;44139130]really? i tried that once and it turned out to be a dog.[/QUOTE]

a dog is fine too

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Glitchman;44139687]So I have a question

Let me put it in perspective, I am in mid-late twenties have a career and a car and housing. I have moderate anxiety and depression, but my self esteem is good and I'm healthy and attractive.

So I met this girl through a friend, shes amazingly awesome. We have gone on like 12 dates, laughing really hard the whole time and talking and just generally being awesome. During this, she'll grab my hand and hold it or rub my back. However, sometimes I try to go in for the kiss and get rejected, or just a little peck. Happens even when we're both alone at each others places. Most of the time, I initiate the dates. But she starts texting me a lot during the day. What does this mean? Just looking for some other perspectives to calm my nerves[/QUOTE]

holy shit 12 dates? Does she still even see you as a potential boyfriend or are you just a guy to hang out now?

[Taepodong-2]

I'm a couple days late on this, but I had my date on Monday. It went pretty good. There were a few awkward silences but we're both kind of socially awkward so that's to be expected. But other than that we talked for almost two hours and she was a lot more giggly than she usually is. When she left to catch her bus she said she had fun so I mentioned we should go out again soon and she agreed with me. So I guess I did something right for once when it comes to girls.

[edmyoshi]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44142029]I'm a couple days late on this, but I had my date on Monday. It went pretty good. There were a few awkward silences but we're both kind of socially awkward so that's to be expected. But other than that we talked for almost two hours and she was a lot more giggly than she usually is. When she left to catch her bus she said she had fun so I mentioned we should go out again soon and she agreed with me. So I guess I did something right for once when it comes to girls.[/QUOTE]

Looks like you left a good impression. Bring it up later and see if she will go out again for a second chance. I would say just don't keep asking her over and over too much if she's holding off.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;44139687]So I have a question

Let me put it in perspective, I am in mid-late twenties have a career and a car and housing. I have moderate anxiety and depression, but my self esteem is good and I'm healthy and attractive.

So I met this girl through a friend, shes amazingly awesome. We have gone on like 12 dates, laughing really hard the whole time and talking and just generally being awesome. During this, she'll grab my hand and hold it or rub my back. However, sometimes I try to go in for the kiss and get rejected, or just a little peck. Happens even when we're both alone at each others places. Most of the time, I initiate the dates. But she starts texting me a lot during the day. What does this mean? Just looking for some other perspectives to calm my nerves[/QUOTE]

She probably isn't the kind of person who likes to kiss or make out but she will grab and hold your hand sometimes or rub you. IDK i am having the same situation with my friend when i kiss or make out except that she stops it after.

[ROFLBURGER]

So does anyone know any reliable free e-books or guides on effective ways of communication? I've always used humor as an approach to something, rarely it gets me into shit :v:.

But since I'm almost graduating high school, I need to smarten up for uni and job opportunities.

[ichiman94]

Is The Tao of Badass a good ebook or should I avoid it?

[czarcasm]

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;44144997]So does anyone know any reliable free e-books or guides on effective ways of communication? I've always used humor as an approach to something, rarely it gets me into shit :v:.

But since I'm almost graduating high school, I need to smarten up for uni and job opportunities.[/QUOTE]
Hands down the best book for learning effective ways of communicating; [url]http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/B008GAT3BI/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1394086039&sr=8-5&keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people[/url]
Not free but worth buying...or torrenting.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=edmyoshi;44122669]Been lurking this thread for months, maybe a year and finally decided to make an account just because of this and i regularly check the news forum on this site. Loving the advice some of you guys give to each other, especially remember someone named Rhenae or [/QUOTE]

I'm honored to be remembered~!
As has already been said, it's just gonna take time. Keeping yourself busy will help as may looking around for other girls. It'll just take time to accept and move on. It'll be easier if you can minimize contact with her though.

Unrelated:
I havent had internet for two days (and won't till tomorrow, grabbing wifi at a coffee shop). Amazing how much of your day can be taken up by various internet shenanigans.

More related to various other posts:
Stop worrying about what age you first did what. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. 17 or even 20 is not an unusual age to still be a virgin or to not really have been with a girl.
Stressing about having not kissed a girl isn't going to help you get with a girl you like, and do you care more about that or a kiss from any girl at all?
I got with my bf a few years back, he was turning 18 not long after we got together, so between 17 and 18 he got his first everything. And theres more than enough other examples in this thread of first timers who are 20 or more. Its nothing new and nothing terrible. And always remember that if you do end up with a girl (or guy) who is more experienced, they also had their own first time. So they aren't going to condemn you to death for lack of experience.

[Sobek-]

Well said Rhenae. I long ago realised that doing what and when was completely irrelevant as compared to who and why. I'm 27 and I've never so much as kissed a girl... It's not that I'm not attractive or anything, life problems just kept getting in the way and most opportunities were missed, but it never really got me down - I wanted to find someone really special you know?

And finally, it seems I have. We're meeting up next month when she arrives (she lives a few hours north of me) but we're already well and truly connected. Might have taken 27 years to find her, but all that matters is I did. It's kind of funny just how much sexual tension there is too haha, I'm starting to wonder how far in the door I'm going to make it before she rips me to shreds!!

Anyway, all it takes is time. I was finally becoming comfortable with being alone after all that time, and she just appeared out of the blue. Life's funny like that.

[edmyoshi]

I wish i can find someone new and special. I really liked having that connection. It used to be hard walking away from but i think i can manage, considering how I'm dealing currently. I'm not placing/ thinking myself to be exclusive towards someone anymore. Noticing other people, though i don't think I'm ready again. Well i guess i need the down time for a bit more.

Lately I've been just working on my car, focusing on school (on my 3rd attempt and passing at the moment with my classes which I'm happy about for once). Family and the friends i have. Lost a lot of connections and I've come to the understanding that a lot of us have goals that we desire to reach. Some being different and all of us know right away or are just having a slower start because we don't realize it yet; that being me.

BTW: They're a few other people i wish i could name in this thread but i could only be familiarized by your avatars after scrolling through from time to time.

[Caynug]

I don't know why love is so weird for me. I haven't seen her for 2 days and probably wont for 4 more days and I lost the motivation to play any of my 5 instruments or do music at all (literally my life). I am just sitting there thinking the whole time because I miss the emotional intimacy so much. I am probably so attached because I never had a mother and pretty much lived a love-less life (Turning 21 in a week).

How could I deal with it, really? It's incredibly hard for me to a point where I would give up so much just to have her here.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=edmyoshi;44146627]I wish i can find someone new and special. I really liked having that connection. It used to be hard walking away from but i think i can manage, considering how I'm dealing currently. I'm not placing/ thinking myself to be exclusive towards someone anymore. Noticing other people, though i don't think I'm ready again. Well i guess i need the down time for a bit more.

Lately I've been just working on my car, focusing on school (on my 3rd attempt and passing at the moment with my classes which I'm happy about for once). Family and the friends i have. Lost a lot of connections and I've come to the understanding that a lot of us have goals that we desire to reach. Some being different and all of us know right away or are just having a slower start because we don't realize it yet; that being me.

BTW: They're a few other people i wish i could name in this thread but i could only be familiarized by your avatars after scrolling through from time to time.[/QUOTE]

What year of schooling are you in?

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=Darkslicer;44147285]because I miss the emotional intimacy so much. I am probably so attached because I never had a mother and pretty much lived a love-less life.[/QUOTE]
shit, so that's what is waiting for me when(if) I meet someone(female) who will have love interest in me.