Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Chain_Smoker;44184021]What are the best topics to bring up during a conversation on a date? What kind of topics shouldn't I bring?[/QUOTE]
Just be social about school, plans, future, current situations. Don't over-think, you don't need to. There will be time to get to know each other btw if you end up going on multiple dates or you two end up in a relationship.
Make sure it's nothing about past relationships or things you couldn't do. Not even a hint or number. Otherwise you're leaving the impression that this person needs to exceed. Think when people compare their ex's like why and who does that shit? A person you've just met or started dating would not want to hear cause it's all bad news. Those little details go both ways. Just had two of my friends whom are together, argue last night because my group of friends were talking about ex's and it went into comparing ex's with other ex's and they both had their says because they didn't know about some of their past. And it shouldn't have mattered because they're the current girlfriend/boyfriend.
[QUOTE=Heigou;44184075]Most people are looking for someone to vent out to rather than actually looking for advices, took me some time to figure that out because as a guy, whenever someone came to me with a problem, my "fix-it" switch lit the fuck up and I was immediately on problem solving when all I really had to do was listen up and they'd feel better just by having talked about it.[/QUOTE]
I agree, completely. It's being there for someone in the first place that can be the most important thing.
Yeah and definitely dont vent back. I have a friend of mine, everytime I just say something like "work is killing me" he starts "oh yeah well my university is killing me too and this and that" and he goes on and on and its always the same shit. But thats typical of him, he always plays the victim.
Sorry just had to vent
[QUOTE=ForDaNords;44183964]Is "Hey, you look great today" a good compliment for someone you've never spoken to?[/QUOTE]
Dunno about you but I feel awkward as hell if someone i've never talked to gives me a compliment out of the blue. How about trying to talk to them and such before you start throwing compliments at them.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44189246]Dunno about you but I feel awkward as hell if someone i've never talked to gives me a compliment out of the blue. How about trying to talk to them and such before you start throwing compliments at them.[/QUOTE]
Nope, it works for some people. A girl I was with the other night had a guy pull her over in a bar and say "Hey, you look really beautiful" and it worked a treat. Pretty sure they went home together. Different strokes for different folks. I guess that's a bar though. but more related, a guy pulled me up today, I'd never met him before but he said he just wanted me to know I looked like a cross between Stephen Merchant and Michael Caine. I really really appreciated it and went away smiling.
It's important to remember I guess in these situations that there's probably not really a 'good' compliment - if you say "Hey, you look great today" to someone you've never met, it might go down well or it might not. How a good compliment is made really depends on your attitude when you say it, how you communicate, and how the other person is feeling.
Probably the most important thing to know is that your intentions are often more clear than you could ever realise - if you just want them to know and to make them smile that's great. If you want their pants they're probably going to figure you out and not appreciate it (unless you're in a setting where its forgivable)
[QUOTE=killerteacup;44189676]Nope, it works for some people. A girl I was with the other night had a guy pull her over in a bar and say "Hey, you look really beautiful" and it worked a treat. Pretty sure they went home together. Different strokes for different folks. I guess that's a bar though. but more related, a guy pulled me up today, I'd never met him before but he said he just wanted me to know I looked like a cross between Stephen Merchant and Michael Caine. I really really appreciated it and went away smiling.
It's important to remember I guess in these situations that there's probably not really a 'good' compliment - if you say "Hey, you look great today" to someone you've never met, it might go down well or it might not. How a good compliment is made really depends on your attitude when you say it, how you communicate, and how the other person is feeling.
Probably the most important thing to know is that your intentions are often more clear than you could ever realise - if you just want them to know and to make them smile that's great. If you want their pants they're probably going to figure you out and not appreciate it (unless you're in a setting where its forgivable)[/QUOTE]
I won't disagree, although your compliment example is a bit different than just going up to someone and saying they look good today. saying "i just wanted to let you know you look like X" is a bit different, its a humorous observation rather than a real straight compliment
But hell I'm awkward with all compliments, I just find random ones way worse. So yeah it likely depends on the person.
Depends on how the compliment's said, more than anything. And the choice of wording. Stuttering one out under your breath without making eye contact will make any compliment sound a bit creepy, but, if you're cheery and genuine enough, it'll go over a lot smoother. Like any kind of social thang, it's mostly just a matter of figuring out a pleasant delivery.
[editline]10th March 2014[/editline]
For example: leaving a scrawled note reading "YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL" stabbed through your crush's car door with a big knife would be an example of a [I]bad[/I] delivery.
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44185528]Yeah and definitely dont vent back. I have a friend of mine, everytime I just say something like "work is killing me" he starts "oh yeah well my university is killing me too and this and that" and he goes on and on and its always the same shit. But thats typical of him, he always plays the victim.
Sorry just had to vent[/QUOTE]
Gah I do this a lot, most of the time by accident. I think I try to "relate" to hard times but instead just look like I'm just to win the venting game.
I have a problem where I care too much about what other people think of me, whenever I post something on the internet and get a negative response I feel terrible and like a failure and its a huge problem.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;44190920]I have a problem where I care too much about what other people think of me, whenever I post something on the internet and get a negative response I feel terrible and like a failure and its a huge problem.[/QUOTE]
I'm fighting every urge not to rate this post dumb for a laugh. [I]For you.[/I]
[editline].[/editline]
I suppose telling you not to worry about it doesn't do a hell of a lot of good, but really, it's such a pointless thing to worry about. No matter what you write, somebody, somewhere is going to think it's stupid, offensive, or otherwise unpleasant. I'd advise you to brush it off and pick yourself up, because getting a "dumb" rating is not going to spoil your cheerios or haunt your old age. It's a tiny petty silly thing. In fact, [I]most[/I] of the things that people stress over are ultimately tiny, petty, and silly. I screamed at my sushi for having the tenacity to fall on the floor and be eaten by dogs the other night, I fumed for hours over breaking my brand new pair of glasses last Friday, and I've furrowed my brow quite intensely at the scale for not not moving down as quickly as I'd hoped every day since starting my diet, but I really didn't [I]need[/I] the sushi, my glasses were under warranty, and I [I]have[/I] lost fifteen pounds, so it's really all well and good.
[QUOTE=ForDaNords;44183964]Is "Hey, you look great today" a good compliment for someone you've never spoken to?[/QUOTE]
if you've never spoken with them before and just out of the blue saying "you look great today" implies that you know what they look like every day
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;44190938]I'm fighting every urge not to rate this post dumb for a laugh. [I]For you.[/I][/QUOTE]
Rated him dumb, because I'm a cunt. Let it also be a part of his training process.
I sexted some girl I met on tinder the other night, but I don't even know if she's real. Her facebook was made about three months ago and she doesn't have a snapchat. Wounded
[QUOTE=Zethiwag;44194654]I sexted some girl I met on tinder the other night, but I don't even know if she's real. Her facebook was made about three months ago and she doesn't have a snapchat. Wounded[/QUOTE]
reverse image search her facebook profile image
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;44194769]reverse image search her facebook profile image[/QUOTE]
Oh I did, no results. I'll crowdsource it: [url=http://imgur.com/bQGQSz4]anybody recognise her?[/url]
yes its me
;~)
Yeah, sorry buddy, but that's definitely Dachi.
If it is I am still willing to hook up with you. maybe date. i need money.
Why am I so shy/lazy/anxious when talking to people. This year I changed schools and it has been hard to make friends and it seems the only way I can is when I have a friend with me. I feel like I have no energy to make up a stupid conversation with someone that probably has no common interest with me. When people talk to me I panic in my head and start sweating badly and try to say something back. When people say "what's up" I just say the same thing back and that is it. I have one good friend there where I can talk about pretty much everything but he is an upperclass man and we only have lunch together so I get pretty bored and lonely throughout the day. When I get home I just play video games and skype with my friends from my other school all day and forget about school. Seems like the only way I talk is when I drink soda and get caffeine in my system.
I don't know how the heck this happened, but I have somehow found myself in a classic sitcom-style "multiple dates in the same time period" scenario. I'm seeing Cute Weeaboo Girl on Saturday, which I'm quite excited for, but out of left-field, an old crush looked me up on Facebook and told me that she regretted not going on a second date with me (two years ago), and has been thinking about me ever since. I'd be lying if I'd said that I hadn't been a bit bummed out by her rejection, because she's absolutely gorgeous, and so now we're going out this Friday.
I'm a lot more interested in Cute Weeaboo Girl, but that "what-if?" thing with my one-time date has me really curious. Going out on a single date hardly makes us boyfriend and girlfriend, and I doubt we'll even hit it off, but I'm still feeling a certain level of guilt over having back-to-back dates with two women! I've never been in this kind of situation before. I'm feeling a bit conflicted!
Is this sleazy, scheduling two dates before I've gone out with either woman, or am I making mountains out of molehills? If I had to pick one, I'd go with CWG, but, you know. What if, right?
[editline]10th March 2014[/editline]
I actually had a third date planned, too, with a random Tinder girl, but I'm gonna go ahead and cancel that one, since we were probably only looking at a fling, anyway, and I'm legitimately interested in CWG and the What-If Crush. I feel like the cool uncle from Full House.
i thought multi-dating was a totally okay thing in america before you're in a commited relationship or has sex and the city been lying to me
I don't know! I have never had this "problem" before! My dates were always few and far between, until all of a sudden. I've been more datey these past few months than at any point in the past several years.
tell them to form an orderly queue pls
seriously though, go on a date with all of them. Don't feel like you need to decide right now.
Invite both of them to the same date and make them fight to death over you.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;44196904]I don't know! I have never had this "problem" before! My dates were always few and far between, until all of a sudden. I've been more datey these past few months than at any point in the past several years.[/QUOTE]
I actually know that feeling. 27 years of absolutely nothing, and in the last 3 months not only have I now started a relationship with someone, two other girls apparently have a crush on me and an old friend I used to be really interested in wants to meet for lunch (there's more to it than that, but I can tell what's going on).
Boggles the mind doesn't it.
I must just be getting very handsome.
I got called very attractive for the first time. I felt a bit awkward at first because I've never been called that before. It boosted my self confidence though.
So I'm planning to ask this girl out again for later this week or early next week when I have class with her tomorrow. Only problem is I don't know what's a good date idea for two poor college students who don't own cars and I don't want to ask her to go for coffee again for the second date.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44198502]So I'm planning to ask this girl out again for later this week or early next week when I have class with her tomorrow. Only problem is I don't know what's a good date idea for two poor college students who don't own cars and I don't want to ask her to go for coffee again for the second date.[/QUOTE]
to go eat out somewhere probably a buffet
literally in college i am eating out every week
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