Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44313027]I have really bad issues where if I text a girl and she doesn't get back to me within a couple hours I assume that she's ignoring me on purpose and the longer I've been waiting the anxiety gets worse and worse. And it really confuses me because when i talk to her in person she always seems really happy to talk to me but if I text her she either wont respond or take like 5 or more hours to respond and since I have such a long history of rejection it just makes me assume the worst every time.[/QUOTE]
Alright I have the exact same problem, and there is no easy solution. Some people just aren't the kind of person that always responds quickly or at all. The only thing you can really do is catch yourself when you start to assume the worst and tell yourself no, that's not what's up, they just aren't super responsive to texts and there's not much you can do to change that, and remind yourself that they're happy to talk to you in person
You'll probably still get anxiety anyways, so just slow down and take some slow, deep breaths, and try to find a way to occupy yourself
[QUOTE=ZenX2;44313708]Alright I have the exact same problem, and there is no easy solution. Some people just aren't the kind of person that always responds quickly or at all. The only thing you can really do is catch yourself when you start to assume the worst and tell yourself no, that's not what's up, they just aren't super responsive to texts and there's not much you can do to change that, and remind yourself that they're happy to talk to you in person
You'll probably still get anxiety anyways, so just slow down and take some slow, deep breaths, and try to find a way to occupy yourself[/QUOTE]
That's what I keep trying to tell myself. She's not addicted to her phone which is a good thing because girls who are glued to their phone are annoying. And at least she responds fairly quickly when we're planning dates, it's when I text her just to chat she takes a while to respond, if at all. If she hasn't gotten back to me by tomorrow afternoon I'll probably try again though.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;44313870]That's what I keep trying to tell myself. She's not addicted to her phone which is a good thing because girls who are glued to their phone are annoying. And at least she responds fairly quickly when we're planning dates, it's when I text her just to chat she takes a while to respond, if at all. If she hasn't gotten back to me by tomorrow afternoon I'll probably try again though.[/QUOTE]
if she isn't glued to her phone she probably doesn't check her phone that often
i usually leave my phone in a room and forget about it if i'm at home and then someone texts me but i don't see it until the next day
So i met this girl at a party . amazing beautiful girl and i think wife material , she made me laugh and has amazing lips that i want on my lips. i think i impressed her a lot i said a lot of funny jokes and interesting things like my nickname for dwight howard i think he should be called D-HOW as in D-HOW DID HE DO THAT DUNK!! anyways i asked for her number and she gave it to me. now i'm really frustrated how stupid women can be sometimes. im sorry , i know woman are the most amazing species on this planet their very essence in their hair can put you in a state of ecstacy but what the hell ? the number is wrong . now tell me how someone can be that stupid to not know their own number and mind you im living in iceland numbers here are 7 numbers ... she seemed really smart actually and maybe it was the alcohol but im very dissapointed now i will have to look for her on facebook.
[QUOTE=Sindri335;44315492]So i met this girl at a party . amazing beautiful girl and i think wife material , she made me laugh and has amazing lips that i want on my lips. i think i impressed her a lot i said a lot of funny jokes and interesting things like my nickname for dwight howard i think he should be called D-HOW as in D-HOW DID HE DO THAT DUNK!! anyways i asked for her number and she gave it to me. now i'm really frustrated how stupid women can be sometimes. im sorry , i know woman are the most amazing species on this planet their very essence in their hair can put you in a state of ecstacy but what the hell ? the number is wrong . now tell me how someone can be that stupid to not know their own number and mind you im living in iceland numbers here are 7 numbers ... she seemed really smart actually and maybe it was the alcohol but im very dissapointed now i will have to look for her on facebook.[/QUOTE]
Have you stopped to think that she deliberately didn't give you her actual number?
[QUOTE=Sindri335;44315492]So i met this girl at a party . amazing beautiful girl and i think wife material , she made me laugh and has amazing lips that i want on my lips. i think i impressed her a lot i said a lot of funny jokes and interesting things like my nickname for dwight howard i think he should be called D-HOW as in D-HOW DID HE DO THAT DUNK!! anyways i asked for her number and she gave it to me. now i'm really frustrated how stupid women can be sometimes. im sorry , i know woman are the most amazing species on this planet their very essence in their hair can put you in a state of ecstacy but what the hell ? the number is wrong . now tell me how someone can be that stupid to not know their own number and mind you im living in iceland numbers here are 7 numbers ... she seemed really smart actually and maybe it was the alcohol but im very dissapointed now i will have to look for her on facebook.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, I needed an idiot to laugh at.
Art girl might be back for round 3. Internally preparing for the inevitable emotional roller coaster and the injuries I'll sustain during the ride
But unlike the other times I'm in a good place mentally/emotionally and so I probably won't be using her as an emotional crutch so we'll see how that goes
[editline]22nd March 2014[/editline]
Yup hanging out and photoshoot are back on. Maybe we'll manage to actually see our plans through this time
After this whole debacle i had with someone i was with at the time falsely claiming they were raped "Not by me, by other people" going to the point she turned up on webcam in fake cuts and stuff i feel ready to sort of venture back into dating. Mind you i really dont know anymore :L
I finally asked out this girl I've been eyeing a while yesterday, I thought she might like me just because of the way she talked to me and acted around me so I took a leap of faith and asked her to dinner after my shift ended this Saturday. Turns out her sister is in town (they're incredibly close and she doesn't come home often), but she explicitly said to text her and see if it can happen some other time.
If I was a normal person, I could have counted this as a victory, but being a paranoid shithead such as myself, I've been constantly wondering if that was just a polite way of turning me down. I'm thinking about texting her around 2 or 3 just confirming that we can't do it tonight, and then asking about next weekend.
It's even worse, because we're in the newspaper together and if she turns me down or stays quiet about it it'll be pretty awkward as we have an editor/writer relationship going on.
Is there anything else I should do?
i dont know why you count it as a failure, youre just being paranoid. Just ask her when she is free, let her suggest a time and work around it or soemthing
[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;44319758]I finally asked out this girl I've been eyeing a while yesterday, I thought she might like me just because of the way she talked to me and acted around me so I took a leap of faith and asked her to dinner after my shift ended this Saturday. Turns out her sister is in town (they're incredibly close and she doesn't come home often), but she explicitly said to text her and see if it can happen some other time.
If I was a normal person, I could have counted this as a victory, but being a paranoid shithead such as myself, I've been constantly wondering if that was just a polite way of turning me down. I'm thinking about texting her around 2 or 3 just confirming that we can't do it tonight, and then asking about next weekend.
It's even worse, because we're in the newspaper together and if she turns me down or stays quiet about it it'll be pretty awkward as we have an editor/writer relationship going on.
Is there anything else I should do?[/QUOTE]
Text her in the next few days to arrange soemthing after, you'll know they are trying to avoid it if its excuse after excuse, but you gotta remember 2014 hectic lives etc/
[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44320455]Text her in the next few days to arrange soemthing after, you'll know they are trying to avoid it if its excuse after excuse, but you gotta remember 2014 hectic lives etc/[/QUOTE]
I'll probably do this, thanks.
I've never had a girl say "text me, maybe some other time" before, so I guess it's progress. Perhaps I have a good shot here. I'll keep you guys updated.
[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;44319758]I finally asked out this girl I've been eyeing a while yesterday, I thought she might like me just because of the way she talked to me and acted around me so I took a leap of faith and asked her to dinner after my shift ended this Saturday. Turns out her sister is in town (they're incredibly close and she doesn't come home often), but she explicitly said to text her and see if it can happen some other time.
If I was a normal person, I could have counted this as a victory, but being a paranoid shithead such as myself, I've been constantly wondering if that was just a polite way of turning me down. I'm thinking about texting her around 2 or 3 just confirming that we can't do it tonight, and then asking about next weekend.
It's even worse, because we're in the newspaper together and if she turns me down or stays quiet about it it'll be pretty awkward as we have an editor/writer relationship going on.
Is there anything else I should do?[/QUOTE]
Don't worry too much! Twice I had planned to take my now girlfriend out before we actually could; both times she had to cancel but we finally did go out and it was wonderful.
it's a no-go, she said that she's not interested in a relationship right now (which basically means she doesn't like me)
I've been rejected so many times that it's not even a big deal anymore. I think there's one other girl that may be interested though so maybe I'll go with her.
Getting back into the dating scene. /sigh
I met the girl I really liked on OKCupid. Are there any other dating sites that are worth looking into? I also have a profile on Match.Com, but I find that site lacking comparatively.
AFAIK isn't OKCupid.com the only TRULY free one?
I made a profile on it with my friend a while back for shits and giggles.
I got like 12 or 13 views total my first few days and she got literally like 5 or 6 dozen within the first night. I felt bad for her and I guess most of the girls that use dating sites.
Plenty of fish is pretty much entirely free except for few bonuses if you pay but nothing major, a bit like OKC.
I'm setting up an account on Plenty of Fish then. Thanks for the advice. If it's anything like OKcupid, I think it's worth the investment.
From my experience: Avoid Match.com. I made an account on there at the same time as OKcupid, and I just find the entire site is lacking compared to even the basic features you get with other sites. That said, maybe if I spent more time on it; I'd get more out of it.
dang im gay
Turning other girls down to me is like turning down job interviews. "No its not my dreamjob so Ill starve to death".
ive been feeling terrible for months. felt like i had no one i could talk to at all and now i finally opened up to this girl. im meeting up with her tomorrow, i hope i wont be treated as a patient by her
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44330872]Turning other girls down to me is like turning down job interviews. "No its not my dreamjob so Ill starve to death".[/QUOTE]
Hey baby, with me you get dental AND maternity leave
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44330872]Turning other girls down to me is like turning down job interviews. "No its not my dreamjob so Ill starve to death".[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'll go out with just about anybody who wants to, unless I'm just blatantly unattracted to them. Worth a shot, I figure!
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44330872]Turning other girls down to me is like turning down job interviews. "No its not my dreamjob so Ill starve to death".[/QUOTE]
probably shouldn't be taking advice from this guy...
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;44335464]Yeah, I'll go out with just about anybody who wants to, unless I'm just blatantly unattracted to them. Worth a shot, I figure![/QUOTE]
its not that youre unattracted to them, youre just so addicted to her and all that you dont realise other that maybe the others are ok too.
I think I might be missing some crucial piece of information here, because I suddenly have no idea what you're talking about. Who am I addicted to? ?? ???
Met with a girl from my former workplace for drinks this friday at a bar. I was able to convince her she exists using Hediggerian terminology and assuming a ready-to-hand interaction basis with the world.
So everything was going great from there until the 40 year old fellow sitting beside us found our conversation a bit too intriguing and decided to attempt to ship us by saying that we were a great couple and that we reminded him of when he met his first wife in a bar. From there he proceeded to attempted to explain that a "handsome muscular fellow" like myself should definitely take a "hot-bodied pretty girl" like her home, which wasn't a point I wanted to make because I was simply enjoying her company and the conversation we were having.
She wasn't offended by his weird fantasy enactment, but did happen to make it clear to him that I am not really her type, which didn't particularly surprise me considering we previously talked at length about her attraction to her portly 30-somethingish friend who bears a striking resemblance to Andrew Dobson.
She left somewhat abruptly, but did ensure me that she had a lot of fun and would be up for drinks again in a couple of weeks. She may not be romantically interested in me, but I enjoy her company and the laughter and conversation we share, so I am perfectly content to be friends.
In the meantime, I'll be on the prowl
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44337732]its not that youre unattracted to them, youre just so addicted to her and all that you dont realise other that maybe the others are ok too.[/QUOTE]
Are you telling me that all this time, I actually could have been attracted to the creepy socially awkward guy that keeps hitting on me in my government class? If only I wasn't so addicted to my boyfriend, maybe I would see what a good relationship could have spawned with the guy who won't talk to me after realizing I'm in a relationship! That smelly guy who sits on the other end of the room must actually be super attractive and I'm just not even seeing it!
Yes very funny.
What Im trying to say is that I dont see a lot of sense in just waiting so long to just be with 1 particular girl when she doesn't see you as a potential candidate. And it has happened to me so thats why I see it as pointless. Youre just putting her on a pedestal and because you're so jaded, you miss out on other opportunities. Im not saying to just fuck any girl in sight, but going out with other girls does level out your perspective and it makes you not just focus your whole attention on that one girl who isn't interested in you yet you still try because thats what people do in movies and stuff.
Do you see the problem in automatically assuming that the reason BDA won't date every girl he meets is because he's infatuated with one person?
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