• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=junker154;44441004]You can't expect to get a job where you are paid 21 dollars for hour without any other education than high school.[/QUOTE] Construction workers easily make that with just high school. It's more common than you would think if you look at trades work.
I'm gonna begin going to the gym with a friend. gon b gud.
You say that now, come back when you actually did it consistently for a while
[QUOTE=JohanGS;44441950]You say that now, come back when you actually did it consistently for a while[/QUOTE] "guys it was a terrible choice, I've decided exercise is just not for me"
[QUOTE=Zar;44442050]"guys it was a terrible choice, I've decided exercise is just not for me"[/QUOTE] most of the gym cards bought aren't even used, don't be one of them
[QUOTE=Heigou;44441565]Still no pain in trying as I have this high ranked guy ready to get me in regardless of my education, I wouldn't have considered it if I didn't have that kind of helping hand. Thanks for being a huge buzzkill though, I'm well aware that I have worthless education and trust me, I don't feel good about it, having nothing but high school and a technical at 22 years ols. However it's all I could get with my financial situation, I didn't have the luxury to jump straight from high school to College/University.[/QUOTE] Oh sorry, I didn't want to insult you. I accidently read 21 euro per hour which is unrealistic if you don't have any education. I'm in the same boat as you, didn't succeed in my study and only finished high school.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;44439341]Do you have any kind of rental agreement? Are you on the lease? If you're renting the room "under the table" as a friend, there's not much you can do if he wants you gone, but if you have any documentation, he has to give thirty days' notice. Why he wouldn't anyway is beyond me, because it's common fuckin' courtesy to at least give you some time to find alternate accommodations.[/QUOTE] I moved here shortly after my ex and roommate had started renting the place, so my name wasn't on the lease. I asked several times to have my name added to it and my roommate wouldn't let me and kept making shitty excuses for it. [QUOTE=Squidman;44439881]I've thought about this extensively and will offer a few plausible explanations[/QUOTE] Thanks, this made me feel a bit better.
[QUOTE=JohanGS;44442251]most of the gym cards bought aren't even used, don't be one of them[/QUOTE] Your choice of words made it look like you were saying I would give up immediately and therfore I shouldnt talk about it
[QUOTE=Zar;44441618]I'm gonna begin going to the gym with a friend. gon b gud.[/QUOTE] Sometime later one of you stops going and the other one stops going too because he doesnt want to go out alone. Going is one thing, going consistently is the other. Hit the weights mang
I got into a relationship 1 month after starting uni, im completely in love but kinda wish it didn't happen because im missing out on so much uni life. its a frustrating position to be in because I wouldn't end it for the world but the amount of social life at uni im missing out on is getting me down a bit.
Okay so, I'm not really sure where to start, so I think I'm just going to do one huge dump. Feel free to tackle which ever one you want, if at all or not at all. I don't care. I feel like I'll just feel better if I let this all out in one go. - My quarter ends tomorrow, I am failing 4 out of my 7 classes. It was my fault, I slacked off, I was just unable to concentrate. I want to blame it on stress and anxiety but I don't want to give it an excuse. I am piled with work and every time I manage to get a chunk done, another large chunk comes the next day making me unable to get to the other chunk and having teachers/family members yelling at for not doing my homework. - I turn 18 on Tuesday. This should sound really awesome, but it just feels like a reminder of all the time I wasted. I don't really excel in anything, I never did sports as a kid (my parents wouldn't let me), and to top it all off, I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even kissed a girl. It's pretty much a joke around my friends (and some people who are not my friends) that I will never get laid. - Also on my birthday is Drumline auditions, the closest thing I have to an identity in high school. Which is kind of like saying Nickleback music speaks to you. This doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, there's a couple things. First off is that fact that my high school is actually one of the best in the east coast. We're even going to Grand Nationals next year. This means that there is an expectation. I joined my Sophomore year literally not knowing a thing, and some how managed to get on the line. I haven't been placing very high though. In fact I've been placing last, under the freshmen. It's only as of late that I've been getting my shit together and actually started getting good. This is bad because, to put it short, no matter how well I might do on the audition, they might give me some thing else because I haven't shown promise in the past. Second off is the fact that I absolutely fucking hate it. I love drums but I absolutely hate drumline and the people. I joined marching band because I needed a hobby and wanted some thing to connect to people with. I did band before I got really sick too so I thought I'd do it again. I thought if I just stayed quiet and kept out of people's way I'd eventually slide in. But since I was the kid who kind of came out of no where, a lot of people started to look at me and monitor everything I do. I would hear stuff about how people say I suck and that I was a shitty drummer. I tried to hang out with the people in my line but they would always alienate me and push me away. I would also from time to time overhear them talking about how much I suck and how I'm, "fucking retarded". I was the butt of the joke in marching band, which is pretty low. Even when some thing good happens in to me percussion, I still get shit for it too. I remember when I got the drum kit piece for an ensemble we were doing. It was awesome for me, but everyone else constantly gave me shit either up front or behind closed doors. They also used it as a way to snicker at me every time I did one little thing wrong. Also, as I've previously said before, I've started to get pretty good, and some people are saying I might actually make snare (which is creme o'da crop). And of course, some people have an issue with this. I remember getting ready for a three hour practice sesh after school, so I go to get a bite to eat since I know I'll be there for a while. When I came back, all the stands and harnesses used to holster the drums were gone. [I]All of them[/I]. I found out the next day that one of the guys in my line deliberately locked them in the guitar room because he is trying to make me fail. He apparently bragged about it. Sorry that this one topic is so long but this one is what I guess frustrates me the most right now. It basically feels like no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I am going to get shit for it. This hobby has taken up most of two years of my life now and it feels like I'm not getting anything in return. I feel like I can't quit though because if I do all that work will be for nothing and I can't do that to myself. I love music. If I could major in it, I would. However, I'm not sure if I can. This whole experience has made me so self conscious about my ability and skills that I feel like I can't enjoy it. This guy I know asked me if I wanted to be a drummer in his band and I declined because I was so afraid of being called out as a shitty drummer. It feels like the one thing really I want to enjoy, I can't enjoy. - As previously mentioned, I grew up very ill. I don't really want to go into it, but it's made my family, school, social and mental life very hard while growing up. Let's just say what I have is very common, but also very rare, and is very, very hard to treat. I've only recently been becoming better and the illness actually no longer has effect on me. However, I still think it's why I have a hard time handling certain things or situations without either over thinking it or being too hard on myself. I also have to be extra cautious, meaning I can't go outdoors as much. - I've actually never really told anyone this, but I guess if I'm airing all my dirty laundry then I might as well talk about the one thing I never talk about. Since a lot of doctors didn't know about the illness I had growing up, they didn't know what to label me as mentally. They first went with ADHD, but that was scrapped two weeks later. Instead, they labeled me with High Functioning Aspergers, which basically put me in the Autism category. A lot of people felt like this was bullshit, but nobody could prove it because my other, "unknown illness" got in the way. It didn't really effect me outside of a few handicaps like: Extended time on homework and test taking and getting free copies of teacher's notes. However, due to school rules, my classes as of later started to become [I]more special for my needs[/I]. At this point, I started to complain about my situation, and got re-evaluated. As of two days ago, I was re-diagnosed with ADHD. This should feel good right? Now I can finally get the right help. Well, the fact that it took 17 (going on 18) years to diagnose some thing they can usually find in infants doesn't really make me feel all that to be honest. So there you have it. Sorry, but I really needed to vent. It honestly felt pretty good typing all that out.
[QUOTE=GeneralMoosen;44443579]Lots o' words[/QUOTE] Sometimes having a good vent helps a lot on it's own. I'm gonna try to respond to a few things though, I sympathize with a lot of what you posted either through my own experience or some of my closest friends. Work wise, your approaching the end and are gonna need to really pull it together, but teachers in high school are very willing to help if your willing to put your all into it. Approach your teachers and see if there is anything you can do to pull your marks up, ask for their advice on it. I was terrible at getting my work done in high school (although I pulled through most of my classes on testing scores, since I test a lot better than most) and i've kinda screwed myself over if I decide to go do academics as well, so I know how you feel on that. I find it very easy to get over loaded if I have too many things to do it just becomes too much then I don't do any of it. I heavily recommend making lists. Lists for everything. It's so much easier to get something done and not feel nearly as hopeless if you can tick it off a list, and look at all the things you have already gotten done. If the idea appeals to you, try this site: [URL]https://trello.com/[/URL] It's what I have set up at the moment for home, work and ideas boards. For me I do commissions art as a side job, so I have it set up with a tab for commissions, art trades, gifts, personal work, and the most important slide completed work. Being able to drag something over to the completed area and look at your to-do's list get shorter, its rewarding and it makes it much easier to keep working. Also helps me a ton with organization since I personally am terrible at it :v: But see what you can do about that, try to pull yourself together somehow. It's not hopeless yet if your willing to really push yourself into it Drumline, so to be totally honest I was always a teachers favourite (even though I did jack shit for homework, I always worked in class, payed attention (when I needed to at least), and did well for tests) so I think a little differently than many in high school when it comes to teachers and such but I would entirely honestly tell someone about how that dude was trying to screw you over. He shouldn't be able to do that and if your starting to do well and you want to then go for it! Honestly if someone else is being a dick about it it's probably because they feel threatened to some extent. Just don't let them stop you from doing what you want, try out for drumline and at least see where you get. your pretty down on yourself, and its hard not to be when other people seem to get all over you about any problems. Also if the dude hasn't found a drummer for his band, try it out! You can always quit if its no good for you, and he can always let you know if its not working on his end. Don't just quit without trying things because you think your not good enough, if they have asked you it's cause they think you are! I mean it's up to you but the biggest thing I regret in high school was not going to an interview for the school tech crew because I was afraid of failing it. It really would have been something I enjoyed if I had gone into it but I shyed away from the opportunity, and I still haven't really forgiven myself for it. Everyone feels like an imposter sometimes and like they arn't good enough for things they have been offered but if you think you would enjoy it, always try. Theres no harm in trying, and it will help build your confidence if it goes well. Anyway, just to say I know how you feel with getting older and such. I'm 19 now, moved out, broke, lost my job a while ago, can't keep up with bills and shit I had to bum this months rent off my parents and food money. I don't feel like an adult at all and I feel like im struggling way more than I should be, but ya kinda just gotta keep moving forward ya know? In some ways writing this out is reminding myself of that
I'm really fed up with my close friends because they're really bothering me. Like, they would come over uninvited and eat my food and play video games. I love doing that with them but I just give them the courtesy to hang out because they're really bored. But they're just negative all the time and honestly i feel taken advantaged of. I've kind had that underlying feeling whenever we hanged out in the past like 4 years. They've been great friends but I kinda feel I've matured enough and to be honest I'm sick of them. I don't really know how to tell them that I just don't wanna hang out with them anymore without being rude. But then again, I feel like there's no escaping how rude that sounds.
i just say "not today guys i don't feel like doing anything" then i lock the door and with my negative friend, whenever he wants to hang out i just say "we'll see if i'm free" then i never get back to him, and when he asks i just say i was doing something else that way they don't know you're being rude
knowing a couple of friends like that, they're propbably just going to assume youre avoiding them anyway. But theres no helping that
[QUOTE=Rammaster;44446818]I'm really fed up with my close friends because they're really bothering me. Like, they would come over uninvited and eat my food and play video games. I love doing that with them but I just give them the courtesy to hang out because they're really bored. But they're just negative all the time and honestly i feel taken advantaged of. I've kind had that underlying feeling whenever we hanged out in the past like 4 years. They've been great friends but I kinda feel I've matured enough and to be honest I'm sick of them. I don't really know how to tell them that I just don't wanna hang out with them anymore without being rude. But then again, I feel like there's no escaping how rude that sounds.[/QUOTE] I felt the same a few years back with my close friends. Although we still get along and even better than we used to. In a way it was a phase where I felt pretty much like you, you might just be that time of the month where you get annoyed easily. Also it really depends on the circumstances that you live in. When my friends and I went to university it got a lot better because everyone matured in their own way.
it just annoys me that whenever I say like "I don't feel like it" they get mad about it and shit and get angry and say really blunt hurtful things. Idk if they mean it but they're saying it all the time. Whatever, *sigh*. Yeah, it is that time of the month where I just really want to be alone and don't really feel like interacting with certain people. People really are exhausting tbh
At least you don't live with them! I mean, my friends are awesome, love 'em, but I'm a confused sort of fellow. Sometimes I'm all about ready to go do stuff, but I'm more often ready to be alone and do my own thing. When you don't want to chill just tell 'em. You have every right to fuck off and do your own thing; I tell my guys just as much. "Hey, Marcus, we should do something." "Ehh, I just feel like playing Counter-Strike..." "You can always do that!" "Like right now." *put headphones on and play* You just gotta be forceful. And they prolly resent me a little, but they've come to understand that i need my space more often than most people. E. And it's okay to be alone. I assume that you are more of an introvert and that's what makes it okay for you to tell them to bug off. I spend two-thirds of my time, if not more, doing my own thing. Don't let others get in the way of you trying to kick back. Eventually they'll understand that if they hang at your house, it'll be on your terms.
So yesterday I went to see a friend* two towns from where I live and I've felt shit ever since. I've come to the conclusion that I really lack a good friend who takes genuine interest in what I do and whom I can see quite often outside of college either just going for a drink or enjoying a game or two at each others homes. Nobody really in my family shares my same interests and I don't give two shits about what I do (Its a good thing I suppose in some way but again I don't really have anyone I can really talk to) and I realise now I don't feel truly relaxed around them. I'm even questioning where I live, I really feel isolated from the rest of the world in comparison. What I'm here to ask if anyone has ever had these thoughts before and is there anything you've done to turn that mindset around? *I must disclose I also like this friend but as I've said before (I believe here) that I don't mind if we stay that way.
This is strange as hell. All of a sudden I've just started dreading going to work, which is something that I've never really understood people feeling/doing or whatever. I've had two jobs before this that I was completely content or even happy going to, made me feel better knowing I was actually off my ass and earning some money during the day instead of sitting around looking for a job, beating off, and playing video games. But I just got a job at dairy queen and more or less since the first day I've just been sick of it it seems. It's actually affecting my performance there, too- I go there feeling almost physically sick, which makes me do my job worse, which makes me loose some confidence in my ability to work there, which also makes me do worse. I'm not horrible at it, but I was making more than a few mistakes my first week there, so I ask a lot of questions to make sure that I'm doing it right now and it just makes me feel like a burden on the other people working there who all seem really friendly with each other and are usually all smiles. I mean, I went to highschool with most people there so they're not strangers but I just feel out of place as shit now and it just makes me do worse at my job, which is a big blow to me considering I like to do things right and not half ass it, and it's kind of killing my confidence that I feel like I'm fucking up something as simple as fast food and making ice cream. Jeez. Can I be a bum yet?
Its not just turn your mindset around honestly, it's turning your actions around as well. If you want people to find you interesting, you have to give them a reason to. Just like any product in the market, the customer must have a reason to buy the product, and in a similar way, you should to have a reason for someone to be interested in talking to you. So sell yourself well, not in a prostitution ring but show people why you're worth their time. Obviously if you spend your time playing video games and staying at home people won't see you all that much, but if they see you often enough, a simple and friendly hello every now and then might be enough for something. I mean, it's ok to feel that way. I feel that way sometimes too. What the difference between being ok and not ok is to take action and make the situation better.
Alright, you guys want a good story, here's it. I'm at my own house party, typing this in real-time on my laptop. My girlfriend has fallen asleep in my bed. I find her phone downstairs, but before I set it besides her on my table, I read her text messages (she's been very secretive with her phone and ipod recently) and find that she's slept with another guy, who she met off tinder. I'm so high right now and this is probably the worst news I've ever recieved. help? [editline]5th April 2014[/editline] Source(s): she also kissed another guy at a concert about 2 months into our relatioship, we've been going for near two years now. I'm going to dump her, of course, but how do I break it to her???
"Due to both our insecurities I think it would be best for us not to see each other again."
excusem moi i'm not insecure!!!
"She's being secretive with her phone, I should check it." vs. "Hey, babe, I've noticed that you keep your phone and communications to yourself a lot; is there anything going on that I should know about?"
[QUOTE=KommunistBear;44455773]"She's being secretive with her phone, I should check it." vs. "Hey, babe, I've noticed that you keep your phone and communications to yourself a lot; is there anything going on that I should know about?"[/QUOTE] i see your point it's my fault
no are you serious, compare being cheated on to checking on her phone. I mean i dont know what went wrong in your relationship but checking on her phone isnt that big of a deal, compared to fucking someone.
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44456446]no are you serious, compare being cheated on to checking on her phone. I mean i dont know what went wrong in your relationship but checking on her phone isnt that big of a deal, compared to fucking someone.[/QUOTE] He did say that he's high right now, so take what he says with a grain of salt
[QUOTE=Zethiwag;44456321]i see your point it's my fault[/QUOTE] I wouldn't go so far as to say that. I only have so much of the story. I'm simply saying that suspicion is insecurity. You're not a bad person for it; hell, I'd have done the same thing, probably. I was just throwing an idea out. Really what it'll come down to is just making sure that no blame is on you. Yea, she'll prolly be like, "What the hell?! You went through my phone?!" And you'll prolly be like, "Damn straight, you're fucking around when I thought I was there!" And then it's like, "Fuck you, you spying prick!" At which point you need to be like, "Don't even give a fuck anymore. You wasted our- my time." What I'm saying is, what's done is done. All that matters now is how to deal with it. Admit to faults if necessary, but you weren't the one fucking around. Let her know her place and break it off. Just, take no steps backward.
[QUOTE=D3TBS;44453609]Its not just turn your mindset around honestly, it's turning your actions around as well. If you want people to find you interesting, you have to give them a reason to. Just like any product in the market, the customer must have a reason to buy the product, and in a similar way, you should to have a reason for someone to be interested in talking to you. So sell yourself well, not in a prostitution ring but show people why you're worth their time. Obviously if you spend your time playing video games and staying at home people won't see you all that much, but if they see you often enough, a simple and friendly hello every now and then might be enough for something. I mean, it's ok to feel that way. I feel that way sometimes too. What the difference between being ok and not ok is to take action and make the situation better.[/QUOTE] I suppose so, problem is I don't think there is anything in my town to really sell myself to. I think I'm just going to have to learn to live with it and use it as bait to help me get motivated at college.
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