Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
Oh we talked the entire time, and shared some laughs and that. I just can't help but feel like she was less personable than any other time I'd been with her.
When I asked her out I said "Would you like to go out with me on Friday night?"....I guess perhaps that was vague.
Being single for years, despite having somewhat of an abundance of (female) friends, creates a weird kind of loneliness. It all seems so superficial even though this probably isn't the case for the most part. Makes me forget how thankful I should be that people want to be my friend in the first place.
[QUOTE=The Maestro;44526309]Oh we talked the entire time, and shared some laughs and that. I just can't help but feel like she was less personable than any other time I'd been with her.
When I asked her out I said "Would you like to go out with me on Friday night?"....I guess perhaps that was vague.[/QUOTE]
Hey, it happens. A lot, actually. That "what are we doing here?" feeling has killed a lot of dates for me! Give it another date or two if you want to be thorough, but I usually go with my gut when I get a feeling like that.
[QUOTE=Larry_G;44527231]Being single for years, despite having somewhat of an abundance of (female) friends, creates a weird kind of loneliness. It all seems so superficial even though this probably isn't the case for the most part. Makes me forget how thankful I should be that people want to be my friend in the first place.[/QUOTE]
Really? I've been single my whole life and its never really bothered me. Sure when I was at that mid-teen stage I felt it a bit, but for the past few years I've barely even thought about it. If you ever feel down about it, just find stuff to do, get a good hobby or two if you don't already have one. My uni course takes up shitloads of my time and what free time I do get I have other things I jump at the chance to do. Just try and make yourself busy with things you enjoy doing as much as possible, and you'll probably feel fine, and you might meet someone in the process.
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;44525250]Keep in touch. Hang out with her. If she is interested she'll probably show it one way or another. Make a move.
Or you know, fuck that and [I]just fucking ask her out. [/I][/QUOTE]
I would ask her out if there was any way for us to actually see each other in person over the summer. But there's not because it's an 11 hour drive between us and neither of us owns a car. I'm just wondering about how I can keep her interested when we're pretty much limited to texting and phone calls for the next four months.
[QUOTE=Larry_G;44527231]Being single for years, despite having somewhat of an abundance of (female) friends, creates a weird kind of loneliness. [b]It all seems so superficial even though this probably isn't the case for the most part.[/b] Makes me forget how thankful I should be that people want to be my friend in the first place.[/QUOTE]
I'm in the opposite situation and I feel the same way.
I've been going out of my way trying to make friends for the past few months because I moved a year and a half ago and don't really know anyone where I live aside from my boyfriend and roommate. I've met a few guys who I thought seemed like good potential friends and they always seem to lose interest as soon as they hear I have a boyfriend.
Last week I lost three good friends of mine when my boyfriend and I were having issues - two of them stopped talking to me because they were both interested in me and realized when I got back with him that I wasn't going to date them. The third is my roommate, who apparently likes me a lot less than he likes my boyfriend and tried to kick me out of my apartment. I've been trying to meet new people, but a lot of the girls I've talked to seem to either brush me off or turn out to be completely insane and the guys will only continue talking to me if they think they're going to sleep with me (which apparently the guy I sit next to in government does, because he's been on a whole new level of creepy ever since I mentioned I couldn't meet for a group project because I had to deal with that).
Just venting.
[QUOTE=Marzipas;44527951]Really? I've been single my whole life and its never really bothered me. Sure when I was at that mid-teen stage I felt it a bit, but for the past few years I've barely even thought about it. If you ever feel down about it, just find stuff to do, get a good hobby or two if you don't already have one. My uni course takes up shitloads of my time and what free time I do get I have other things I jump at the chance to do. Just try and make yourself busy with things you enjoy doing as much as possible, and you'll probably feel fine, and you might meet someone in the process.[/QUOTE]
I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than I should. But sometimes I just long for a kind of affection that you just don't get from a friend. I don't know, it's just making me feel a bit empty sometimes and indifferent to anything else in the process. Thanks for the tips though, reminded me that I really need to start working on my uni courses again, damn.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44529213]I'm in the opposite situation and I feel the same way. I've been going out of my way trying to make friends for the past few months because I moved a year and a half ago and don't really know anyone where I live aside from my boyfriend and roommate. I've met a few guys who I thought seemed like good potential friends and they always seem to lose interest as soon as they hear I have a boyfriend.[/QUOTE]
Man, that's on a whole new level of superficial. If I were you I'd really try to find some lady friends to hang out with if the guys you meet are really like that, might save you the frustration. My guess is that you're just not having the most of luck with the people you've met so far. I'm sure there's quite a few guys and girls in your classes (assuming you're in college or something similar) who don't know anyone either and who'd gladly get to know someone, regardless if you're single or not. I've met my fair share of people that turned out to be complete shitlords but hey, once in a while you meet someone really cool.
I'm a good lurker throughout the FP forum and I enjoy checking up on this thread once in a while. Good to see people helping each other out from all over the country.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44529213]I'm in the opposite situation and I feel the same way.
I've been going out of my way trying to make friends for the past few months because I moved a year and a half ago and don't really know anyone where I live aside from my boyfriend and roommate. I've met a few guys who I thought seemed like good potential friends and they always seem to lose interest as soon as they hear I have a boyfriend.
Last week I lost three good friends of mine when my boyfriend and I were having issues - two of them stopped talking to me because they were both interested in me and realized when I got back with him that I wasn't going to date them. The third is my roommate, who apparently likes me a lot less than he likes my boyfriend and tried to kick me out of my apartment. I've been trying to meet new people, but a lot of the girls I've talked to seem to either brush me off or turn out to be completely insane and the guys will only continue talking to me if they think they're going to sleep with me (which apparently the guy I sit next to in government does, because he's been on a whole new level of creepy ever since I mentioned I couldn't meet for a group project because I had to deal with that).
Just venting.[/QUOTE]
Hmm, what state do you live in? Everyone usually needs a friend they can vent to or that pressure will build up.
[QUOTE=Larry_G;44529834]Man, that's on a whole new level of superficial. If I were you I'd really try to find some lady friends to hang out with if the guys you meet are really like that, might save you the frustration. My guess is that you're just not having the most of luck with the people you've met so far. I'm sure there's quite a few guys and girls in your classes (assuming you're in college or something similar) who don't know anyone either and who'd gladly get to know someone, regardless if you're single or not. I've met my fair share of people that turned out to be complete shitlords but hey, once in a while you meet someone really cool.[/QUOTE]
I've been trying to talk to girls as well, but seem to have even worse luck meeting girls I'm comfortable talking with. The only two girls that actually seemed to like my company both turned out to be insane and talk to themselves in class (one of them actually reached over and started tapping the keyboard that's connected to my tablet while I was reading so she could get my attention to ask a question...)
I've been thinking about talking to my English professor a bit more, since she seems like someone I could get to be friends with, but I'm not sure if it would be weird or not. Either way, I'm planning on taking another class with her over the summer.
[QUOTE=czarcasm;44529861]Hmm, what state do you live in? Everyone usually needs a friend they can vent to or that pressure will build up.[/QUOTE]
Texas. Since I'm in a stable relationship I already have someone I can vent to, I'm just a bit more outgoing than my boyfriend and like hanging out with other people sometimes. It just gets frustrating when most of the guys who I enjoy talking to end up having other motives.
[QUOTE=Catscratch;44506983]So I think I'm about to have my first boyfriend soon, possibly.[B]...[/B] Bluh. :I[/QUOTE]
UPDATE:
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND ASLKDHASLDKJ
He's wonderful and super adorbs and I'm super happy and wheee ahahahahaha
I've never had a boyfriend before but he's just so eprfect and alskjaskldasd this feels happy and hype and
I has a happy.
Ok I'm done ty for reading <w>
[QUOTE=Catscratch;44531565]UPDATE:
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND ASLKDHASLDKJ
He's wonderful and super adorbs and I'm super happy and wheee ahahahahaha
I've never had a boyfriend before but he's just so eprfect and alskjaskldasd this feels happy and hype and
I has a happy.
Ok I'm done ty for reading <w>[/QUOTE]
Congratulations! Remember communication is key to any type of relationship.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44531181]
Texas. Since I'm in a stable relationship I already have someone I can vent to, I'm just a bit more outgoing than my boyfriend and like hanging out with other people sometimes. It just gets frustrating when most of the guys who I enjoy talking to end up having other motives.[/QUOTE]
Where are you trying to meet new friends at? The type of environment helps set the mood, but even then it is rather difficult to find what you're looking for. Perhaps you could make new friends that are couples?
[QUOTE=czarcasm;44532783]Where are you trying to meet new friends at? The type of environment helps set the mood, but even then it is rather difficult to find what you're looking for. Perhaps you could make new friends that are couples?[/QUOTE]
Just at college classes. Not really sure where else I would.
Making friends that are couples is a nice idea in theory but it would be unlikely to meet any. My boyfriend's not as extroverted as I am so I would probably end up being a third wheel as well.
Guy, just keep looking for people, keep talking, go to parties and university events and all that, you'll start making friends slowly, and even though theres the guys who want in your pants, eventually you'll find someone who sticks.
Sometimes its hard to balance every part of your social life. I see a lot of people ending up losing their friends because they spend too much time with their girlfriends, so I always try to make sure I spend some time with my bros too. So maybe you should kind of, go solo outside without your boyfriend?
I'm social (in that I actually enjoy meeting new people, unlike my bf), but not that social. I don't see a reason to go to parties etc on my own when I have a boyfriend at home who I take every chance I have to spend time with.
I'm not going incredibly out of my way to meet people, I'm just chatting up classmates etc. It's not something I care about too much, I guess I just feel a bit lonely after losing a few of my friends and am trying to replace them.
Do girls really just go to the prom with their friends? God I'm such a retard.
[QUOTE=ozzypozzy;44534060]Do girls really just go to the prom with their friends? God I'm such a retard.[/QUOTE]
Some do, can be more fun and saves the trouble of everyone trying to get paired off. Some guys just go with a friend group too. Nothing that unusual
[QUOTE=fruxodaily;43171192]I've never posted in this thread before so i suppose i should start because i need to clear my mind
Me and My best friend were toxic, we're not anymore
By toxic I mean, we insulted each other constantly and every time we met up we just hit each other, I was constantly a prick to her and she was hiding things from me though we told each other we loved each other in a friendly way
One night I said to her bluntly I don't love you like I used to anymore and it got sadder and I could tell that had a huge ripple effect
She said the same thing 2 weeks later and I tried fighting for my ground forgetting that I started this all, then she said she wanted a friendship break because she felt uncomfortable and I did too, but she kept speaking to me and I never started a conversation
She was telling me about her Ex boyfriend and I said to her "He doesn't love you anymore, get the fuck over it" and it caused a huge war to break out, I said some pretty harmful shit and so did she, I told her this friendship cannot last and I ended it
Literally the day after, word breaks out at school and I'm hailed a hero for insulting my best friend of 2 years, it was sickening I guess
Anyway a month later, she adds me back on Facebook and both of us apologize, and we had a 1 or 2 hour phone call i forgot how long it was and i really did miss her, i feel like it isn't toxic anymore i mean i feel we both changed, idk why i am telling you guys this but i just feel happy at how things went and I may of not dealt with it the best way but i just feel happy now
I'm yet to see her in person again, but i feel everything sorted itself out[/QUOTE]
Heh, well guess what it was toxic
After that was sorted, same spiral happened and as a result I no longer speak to her and I made sure of that
Anyway I wanted to post in here again because I feel bored and I got no where else to post it
I'll confess that for some of last year, I locked myself in my room and didn't get out much and when I did it was just going to a mates house for a few drinks, getting hammered (lightweight as fuck) and then realising how sad my life is
After new years I stopped drinking because I didn't like who I was when I was drunk, this year I pretty much became a designated driver which has let me go to more places and experience more things, even if I'm sober I just enjoy the environment of a party
I feel so much happier now because I've been meeting new people, having conversations with them, experiencing new feelings and I just love leaving the house. Some great things has happened with me just speaking to strangers and I feel a lot of my social anxieties that I had which were minor are pretty much gone.
I feel like I'm a better person overall, and I feel this year is going good but knowing my luck I will be slapped in the face with something and it'll go apeshit
Anyway
[QUOTE=fruxodaily;44534247]Heh, well guess what it was toxic
After that was sorted, same spiral happened and as a result I no longer speak to her and I made sure of that
[/QUOTE]
Common if your gonna say shit happened ya gotta give details. The curiosity will kill me otherwise
Prying into random strangers lives is basically my main hobby man
Wow, just had an amazing hike through the sierra here with my friends even found a hand grenade on our way to a cliff where we had lunch while overlooking the sea throwing french fries at flying by seagulls.
And yes, I found an old ass hand grenade from the 60's in the middle of the natural reserve in the sierra.
did you pull the pin
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;44527862]Hey, it happens. A lot, actually. That "what are we doing here?" feeling has killed a lot of dates for me! Give it another date or two if you want to be thorough, but I usually go with my gut when I get a feeling like that.[/QUOTE]
I reckon I'll give it at least one more go tomorrow. If it's the same, I guess I'll just have to move on. Thanks for the word, though.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44537540]Wow, just had an amazing hike through the sierra here with my friends even found a hand grenade on our way to a cliff where we had lunch while overlooking the sea throwing french fries at flying by seagulls.
And yes, I found an old ass hand grenade from the 60's in the middle of the natural reserve in the sierra.[/QUOTE]
rip
which one btw? arrabida?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44535313]Common if your gonna say shit happened ya gotta give details. The curiosity will kill me otherwise
Prying into random strangers lives is basically my main hobby man[/QUOTE]
I feel you dude
If you really want to know, basically she kept telling me more useless shit about her life and I told her everything would repeat over again and said its best if we don't talk anymore
So for the past 3 months that's how it has been and I feel much happier having her out of my life
How to deal with distance to somebody you love which loves you too? She's so stressed out with her life and so busy with everything that her effort in communicating with me or showing love decreased immensely making me sad because it all feels so one sided now (love from me to her) and we don't see each other since quite some time. I try to keep myself occupied but I am quite hurt that she does not show as much effort as she used to, not even close. She also does not talk about feelings as if she goes hard as a stone because of her stress currently. Quite hard for myself to understand because I am the complete opposite (stress, sad, angry, whatever = I want to be close and open).
I have a similiar issue like you. My girlfriend tends to be very distant and cold, it seems like she doesn't react that much to what I say or that she is simply not interested. I thought about it a long time, it's usually when she is stressed out or has some problems with her family. Some people want distance and some of us (like myself) feel the need to share everything and want to be close and open.
Either way there isn't much that you can do about it, just be cool about it. I tend to be way to clingy in that regard, thus increasing even more the distance between us because she gets annoyed by me. Just let her know that you are there for her when she needs you, give her the feeling that you support her but without being to clingy. If this issue is more long-winded I recommend you to talk to her, having a objective and down to earth dicussion about it. If you can't really cope with it at all after a long period, you might want to reconsider your relationship.
I had the exact same issue but my girlfriend and I made both an effort to find an approach in which both of us where happy with. Send me a pm if you feel like talking.
Anyone here had any idea with finding long lost friends? I used to had a childhood friend, met her while we were kids, my mom used to teach her. She left afterwards, but apparently my mum still had her cousin's contacts, because my mom taught them as well. Now, the issue is, how do I contact them without making it sound awkward? They are the only way to get her.
[editline]14th April 2014[/editline]
Also, how had you guys connect with old friends? I'm finding it increasingly difficult, since its been so many years apart. I have them on facebook, but it just seems so much harder to get back to the old days now.
So Easter pseudo-vacation is coming up and I asked if she had anything planned this week from wednesday to friday. She said that she'd be having a dinner tomorrow at her place and that some of our last dinner party's friends (all of them are couples btw) would be there. So yeah, she invited me to her place tomorrow, even said that I could sleep there so I didn't have to worry about leaving soon for transports and all that.
I have a test on Wednesday, but seriously, fuck it. I've been waiting to be with her again for a long time and I seriously don't want to turn it down now that I'm feeling great with my life.
So yeah, I've been studying like crazy for wednesday's test so I can manage my studies properly. But I guess that's the price you pay.
I like her, seriously however I have some insecurities about what I'll bring over since I'm sleeping over. I mean, I'm thinking about bringing my pack with my university stuff and a simple shorts and shirt (instead of a pajama) to sleep over and a small bag with my tooth brush and paste.
I want to keep what I bring to a minimum, I don't know, I just don't want to be too assuming. Just keeping it simple and clean at the same time.
I still have some doubts though, am I making all this up in my mind, creating great expectations, or there's actually something more going on?
[editline]14th April 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Ignhelper;44542931]Anyone here had any idea with finding long lost friends? I used to had a childhood friend, met her while we were kids, my mom used to teach her. She left afterwards, but apparently my mum still had her cousin's contacts, because my mom taught them as well. Now, the issue is, how do I contact them without making it sound awkward? They are the only way to get her.
[editline]14th April 2014[/editline]
Also, how had you guys connect with old friends? I'm finding it increasingly difficult, since its been so many years apart. I have them on facebook, but it just seems so much harder to get back to the old days now.[/QUOTE]
The only way is to actually ask for her cousin's contact directly. Call him, tell him who you are and ask him if you could have a word with her or get her number while you're at it. Seriously, don't think it's awkward because it isn't. In fact it's a pretty natural and responsible thing to do. Way better than wasting your time trying to find her on facebook or something.
Don't be afraid to reconnect with people. If you were friends, she'll remember you. If you actually want to see her again to get back in touch, then why not? tell her that. It's not awkward because there is only one plain and simple way to do it, which is inviting her for lunch for example.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44543081]
The only way is to actually ask for her cousin's contact directly. Call him, tell him who you are and ask him if you could have a word with her or get her number while you're at it. Seriously, don't think it's awkward because it isn't. In fact it's a pretty natural and responsible thing to do. Way better than wasting your time trying to find her on facebook or something.
Don't be afraid to reconnect with people. If you were friends, she'll remember you. If you actually want to see her again to get back in touch, then why not? tell her that. It's not awkward because there is only one plain and simple way to do it, which is inviting her for lunch for example.[/QUOTE]
Fact is, I don't know her cousin. And only my mum does, but he's no longer in contact with my mum as well. Its alot more complicated, would be better I I'll PM you instead or something.
[QUOTE=The Maestro;44537862]I reckon I'll give it at least one more go tomorrow. If it's the same, I guess I'll just have to move on. Thanks for the word, though.[/QUOTE]
Well I did exactly as this thread title specifies and made sure to use the word [i]date[/i] this time. She said that she does not think of me that way but we could still hang out.
I won't say I'm not disappointed but I'm glad how straight she was.
So guys I met this girl online last week and we have been talking/ watching stuff together for basically ever day since we met. I can't help but feel what I do for her but she already has a bf and she's told me I'm a great guy and stuff. But I can't help think she likes me too but she doesn't want to flirt or anything cause she has a bf. The sad thing is I really really like her. So much so that a part of me doesn't even want her to break up with her bf cause I don't want her to be sad. And when I talk to her I feel like this connection which is wired too describe but it's like we're on same frequency and I can almost guess her thoughts and stuff. So I don't know what I should do. Should I just stay her friend or just move on?
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