Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Squidman]

[QUOTE=The Maestro;44543725]Well I did exactly as this thread title specifies and made sure to use the word [i]date[/i] this time. She said that she does not think of me that way but we could still hang out.

I won't say I'm not disappointed but I'm glad how straight she was.[/QUOTE]

Made the same error when texting a girl that I had been hanging out with alone. Jokingly told her that I had told my friends that we went on a date (the joke is I have no friends) and she did not respond well to that.

Backpedaled with the most cringe inducing conglomerate of words and symbols I have ever used in my life, then proceeded to delete her number, threw my phone down a mine shaft, quit my job, moved to Nebraska, changed my name, entered the witness protection program and now I wear a paper bag over my head until I can afford facial reconstruction surgery.

But life goes on

[Zotobom]

-im a fucking shithead but it's still quoted so feel free to laugh at me-

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Zotobom;44544553]Steps to make yourself sad!
1.Get crush on girl for 6 months
2.She hints at having a secret! Oi!
3.Get the courage to tell her you have a crush on her
4.''We should be friends before we try anything else''
5.Alright
6.A week later ''Can I discuss something with you in private?''
7.''I'm lesbian,but please don't tell anyone else''

alright thats fun

[B]We're both 15 so I atleast told her that a lot of people feel that way when they're around that age [/B]but alright[/QUOTE]

You are the kind of person that irritates me. Just gonna throw that out there.
She just confided a pretty heavy secret to you and you said "oh its probably just a phase", gj

Anyway, such is life at least thats a pretty solid no so you can move on

[zenby]

The well of women I have any interest in is pretty dry atm, prom is coming up, and everyone's bothering me to ask someone
It's like they just can't accept that I want to go alone by choice and not necessity

[Zotobom]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;44544843]You are the kind of person that irritates me. Just gonna throw that out there.
She just confided a pretty heavy secret to you and you said "oh its probably just a phase", gj

Anyway, such is life at least thats a pretty solid no so you can move on[/QUOTE]
Its not the first thing I said,she said she wasnt completely sure so I just kind of said it CAN be a phase and moved on

I apologize for irritating you I guess but I apologized to her as well because of your post heh

[ignhelper]

So there's this kind of loneliness I've been feeling, and I'll love to make new friends. What channels are great for meeting new people? I'm in the army, and I can't work outside, and I'm not in any university. Wanted to meet people via couchsurfing, but my mum is anal about it and she said they might steal shit.

[NoDachi]

"join the army but my god don't ever sleep on a strangers couch"

[ScoutKing]

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;44547876]So there's this kind of loneliness I've been feeling, and I'll love to make new friends. What channels are great for meeting new people? I'm in the army, and I can't work outside, and I'm not in any university. Wanted to meet people via couchsurfing, but my mum is anal about it and she said they might steal shit.[/QUOTE]

you could make friends with those who you work with.

There was awhile where all i wanted to do was get off base and get away from other military.

Ive now accepted my place at the local smoke pit grill on Saturday nights with my friend(s), grilling steaks.

You can always go to clubs (im more partial to dance-halls).

You can always knock out two birds with one stone, and get involved in some sort of sport.

[junker154]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44544982]The well of women I have any interest in is pretty dry atm, prom is coming up, and everyone's bothering me to ask someone
It's like they just can't accept that I want to go alone by choice and not necessity[/QUOTE]

Or perhaps because you are good at decieving and convincing yourself that you don't need to take a girl to prom even though you really want to.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44544982]The well of women I have any interest in is pretty dry atm, prom is coming up, and everyone's bothering me to ask someone
It's like they just can't accept that I want to go alone by choice and not necessity[/QUOTE]

Are you at least going with friends or something?

Why go at all if you're going alone?

[Caynug]

I wrote about this already but not in this form, so here some advice and a story on love with jehovas witnesses (posted this in the shit that gets you mad thread aswell):

[quote]I am not in the jehovas witnesses but yet it ruins my life. I may have said this already but:

Never fall in love with a jehovas witness, even if she loves you back the same amount. All you get is heartache, a feeling of only being a friend or worthless. No matter how much you talk or try, her religion will always be number 1. It will be number 1 in a way that will make you feel like nothing, like someone she loves when she haves some free time (which is basically none because of the religion) and then goes distant and puts you aside.

I can't put it in words but I have troubles with it since 2 years, I am in love (she too with me) with a jehovas witnesses girl. She's the girl I want to spend my life with, she, her personality. She can't let me go aswell because it seems the other way around aswell. My mind is almost all the time on this subject since these 2 years.

And I fucking hate it.

Just fuck that brainwashing bullshit religion. And as I am typing this I will still be acting like I am with her although she made it clear to me that we can't be together because of the religion! And yet she is still acting all in love and we share some emotional intimacy from times to times (we only see us privately once every 1-4 weeks).

Never get close to that religion, it's for your own lifes safety. Well I learned alot from the time I am in this trouble but my emotional life has worsened shittons.

Thanks for reading.[/quote]

[Squerl101]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44544982]The well of women I have any interest in is pretty dry atm, prom is coming up, and everyone's bothering me to ask someone
It's like they just can't accept that I want to go alone by choice and not necessity[/QUOTE]

I can agree to this. I ended up going to prom. Of course people looked at me weird because I had nobody to take.

I don't know why everyone thinks it's mandatory to take someone to prom. I think it's about your personal preference. You can still go and have a good time without taking someone.

[Behemoth_PT]

Just came back from the dinner party I was invited to by that girl I was talking about on my last post and things didn't go bad but they didn't go as I was expecting either.

First of all she made a mistake telling me the date, of the event. It was yesterday but she told me it would be today so I only realized this yesterday at 6pm so I had to rush there all tired from university and all.

When I got there, it was just me and her for a while, she was still cooking this great lasagna and since I'm shit in the kitchen I just watched the rest of the pokemon series she was watching while lending a hand in the oven.

So yeah, other guests come in, most of them I already knew and were close friends of mine, had some lasagna, beers, smoked some weed, played cards and had a good time.

Well, I'm taking this slow, but I don't want to take it slow to the point she will move on and forget about me.

The thing is, yesterday and today I had great oportunities for a kiss, but I don't know why it didn't seem as it would be the right moment.

When the rest of the gang left it was just me and her, we were tired at that point, her more than me, so she asked me if I wanted to watch some movie or something, we stayed until late watching game of thrones while drinking some really good almond vodka she had there.
We kept talking and laughing, making fun of the faces in the trees and[sp] Joffrey dying[/sp] and all that. We talked, smiled at eachother, but we couldn't stay close enough to actually try anything. Like I said we were tired, and thanks to that I was more introverted than usual that night. We went our separate ways to bed, she asked me if I needed anything, we made fun of each other's pajama's and off to bed.

So yeah, this morning we slept real late, she actually came to my room to wake me up we chatted a bit, had breakfast and all that. She was still watching Pokemon and we watched it together while eating breakfast and I showed her Adventure Time and Regular Show, which she loved.

Since we woke up with so many energy we were talking and talking while tiding up the kitchen. We drove to the station were I would be catching the train and I swear if not for the train arriving in 2 minutes - if I had a little more time and we weren't talking about our degrees - I would go for a kiss. I kind of regret it but I didn't do it for the following reasons: I didn't want to interrupt our conversation with a rushing mouth assault due to the little time I had, I didn't want to do it under pressure either. So I didn't do it. It sucked but I think it was the best course of action.

But hey, I think despite anything happening, we had a good time. I think quality time is also a great thing.

So, the thing is something tells me she's interested in me, some of the things may sould like coincidence but it's just to much coincidences on top of one another.

But all is not lost and opportunities are coming up in the near future.
She invited me to go to a festival with her next week. And she's giving me a ride there and despite me not being able to "make a move" at the station I told her that I would like to see her again and we should do stuff together more often to which she responded positively. She actually wants to come hiking with me the next time we do so, which is amazing.
I'd love to go just me and her to this cliff overlooking the sea with an astonishing view but we're going to take up to an hour to get there and I don't know the way very well from a certain point although I remember some checkpoints with piles of rocks we left there.
So if there's a place I'd love to hold her hand it's there. But that's just going to happen if nothing happens untill then.

Well who knows. Although I'm pretty suspicious that she likes me the same way, who know. The thing is, she likes me. Period. To what extend I just don't know, but I gotta have to find out. And if she likes me I reckon she won't feel bad about me making my move. I think the worst would be if I took it too late.

[zenby]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44550401]Are you at least going with friends or something?

Why go at all if you're going alone?[/QUOTE]

Yeah I'm going with friends, just not with a ~date~

[QUOTE=junker154;44549909]Or perhaps because you are good at decieving and convincing yourself that you don't need to take a girl to prom even though you really want to.[/QUOTE]

I'd like to take a girl to prom, but I'm not interested in asking a random girl that I don't talk to often to go with me, just so I can have a date to it

[Breakfast Buddy]

Ugh, I don't know what to do.

I've been dating a girl for almost 3 months, she super cool and interesting and smart and everything. She lives about 10 minute away but I barely see her once a week. We haven't kissed yet or anything, and I always initiate contact pretty much. Every time I try to ask her to hang out she gets snappy; sort of like "no way. too tired. sorry." or something brief like that. Then eventually we go out to dinner or make dinner and hang out, and it's fun, but nothing really happens. She does refer to me as her boyfriend... but it doesn't feel like it most of the time. Making me a bit depressed/anxious because she's an amazing person and I've never really met anyone I like as much as her. (in my late 20s, been dating for awhile)

[Boss]

Slow ride take it easy

[junker154]

Talk to her, I think a clear discussion would really help out you both. She seems to have a different view on you than you have. Or just kiss her at a decent moment where you both feel close to eachother.

Also being late 20s and still not being together after three months? That's unusual.

[Uncle Fassbender]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44554605]we stayed until late watching game of thrones while drinking some really good almond vodka she had there.
We kept talking and laughing, making fun of the faces in the trees [sp]and Joffrey dying[/sp] and all that.[/QUOTE]
Spoilers omg

[Behemoth_PT]

Oh God, I'm so sorry. Gonna spoil that up right now. But anyway, what do you guys think? Should I go for it. I haven't had any constructive input from you guys and girls on this yet, I'm kinda insecure.

[chinatown]

well youre obviously a bad person for spoiling the whole thing for me.

I dont exactly know what your whole relationship with her but either she is into you, which then you should feel more comfortable about it, and just go make your move. Dont come around, do nothing and then look for excuses to comfort yourself, if it failed then it did but if you didn't try then you won't know anyway.
On the other hand maybe you're mistaking her reactions as signs on interest rather than friendly gestures, or maybe she only sees you as a friend, in which case still doesnt mean you should give up. I dunno, just try it. Talk about more intimate things, more physical contact and all that.

[carcarcargo]

[QUOTE=Darkslicer;44551075]I wrote about this already but not in this form, so here some advice and a story on love with jehovas witnesses (posted this in the shit that gets you mad thread aswell):[/QUOTE]

I can't believe seeing or hearing the words "jehovahs witness" still gives me that feeling of utter dread

[Behemoth_PT]

I gave it some thought about how it may be just a coincidence and a misinterpretation of signs but still, it's just too much "signs" on top of one another for me to find it coincidence. I wish I could give more insight about it but writing can only go so far on that matter.

If she really want to be just friends, than she's putting a lot of effort in this friendship. And lets say she wants to be just friends with me, seriously what kind of people cancels her gym subscriptions because "I'd rather quit the gym than not being able to go hiking with you". What kind of girl that wants to be "just friends" with you puts enough effort to be willing to make 1 hour trips back and forth just to see you.

I think it is totally worth going for it, for sure.

Also, yeah I kind of regret not making a move back when I was at her place with her but it didn't seem right (also yeah, I kinda chickened out too because she "friendzoned" me hard 6 years ago and I was kind of fearful of being rejected again). But I just didn't had the time to do it without pressure and I didn't want it to be a forced thing.

But come to think of it she's putting a lot more effort in being with me and making things easier for me (for example she offered to come pick up my stuff for an event she invited me for next week), that I can't just ignore as "just friends".

I don't know, she's not like any other girl I've been with for sure, and I've been accustomed to having it easy with girls in general, this one is different, she's more hard to get (which makes me crazy in love with her), she's confident but kind, I can see she really cares about me. And It's intimidating because I'll sure need to grow a pair of balls not to let this one fly by.

[Rhenae]

I think your fussing too much.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44570767]I'll sure need to grow a pair of balls not to let this one fly by.[/QUOTE]

That is one way to put her on a pedestal. You should make it so that you try to get her, and make no excuses, be a bit more ballsy, but if you do get rejected, dont make a big fuss about it, its like if it was just another girl.

But yeah, next time just be more confident. If you really think shes into you, she'll be more open to your advances. Dont wait for the perfect moment to do anything, because the only perfect moment is when you think back for missed oportunities and the moment you actually do it.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;44570803]I think your fussing too much.[/QUOTE]

I know right? I should stop making excuses and just go for it.

Ok guys. I am determined. Next time I post here it's going to be about the outcome.

Wish me luck! :zoid:

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=carcarcargo;44570684]I can't believe seeing or hearing the words "jehovahs witness" still gives me that feeling of utter dread[/QUOTE]

I find the whole thing pretty hard to comprehend because I'm familiar with a local community of Jehovah's witnesses. My boyfriend's sister is a Jehovah's witness and I attended her wedding to a few months ago. It's interesting to me because she got a bachelor's degree in accounting at a very prestigious university and is one of the more intelligent people I know, but she actively chose to abandon her education and join their church in spite of growing up with an atheist family. I got drunk with some of her husband's extended family - they're incredibly nice people and it surprised me that their religion or moral values never even came up while we were chatting.

The actual ceremony was the only indication to me that anything was weird - the minister placed a huge emphasis on loving Jehovah more than your partner, as well as having some pretty old-fashioned comments on gender roles. I'm really curious what was going through her head while listening to the minister tell her husband he needs to "support her interests" like she's a child who's completely dependent on him.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44573465]I find the whole thing pretty hard to comprehend because I'm familiar with a local community of Jehovah's witnesses. My boyfriend's sister is a Jehovah's witness and I attended her wedding to a few months ago. It's interesting to me because she got a bachelor's degree in accounting at a very prestigious university and is one of the more intelligent people I know, but she actively chose to abandon her education and join their church in spite of growing up with an atheist family. I got drunk with some of her husband's extended family - they're incredibly nice people and it surprised me that their religion or moral values never even came up while we were chatting.

The actual ceremony was the only indication to me that anything was weird - the minister placed a huge emphasis on loving Jehovah more than your partner, as well as having some pretty old-fashioned comments on gender roles. I'm really curious what was going through her head while listening to the minister tell her husband he needs to "support her interests" like she's a child who's completely dependent on him.[/QUOTE]

Most marriage ceremonies are pretty sexist and outdated. My sister had a non religious wedding, but it followed standard procedure and I can't explain how much it irked me being led to and picked up from my standing space as a bridesmaid.
Thanks I can walk two steps on my own so we can meet in the middle

[Behemoth_PT]

I seriously think that marriage should represent for the couples more than just a social tie with it's attached benefits.
[B] For me[/B] it's much more meaningful to marry by the Church. I don't mean this because of the "procedures" itself or any kind of cultural preciosity nor am I saying that only church marriages are real, I'm nobody to tell other marriages are wrong.
I just think that making it so that your union is recognized by God is one of the most sincere love proofs ever. It's basically transcending your relationship and your love to a whole new level, which is pretty exciting. A new beginning for a love life among two people and a more complex meaning for the start of a family.

This is why I value people that still marry by the Church.

But that's just me.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44574071]I seriously think that marriage should represent for the couples more than just a social tie with it's attached benefits.
[B] For me[/B] it's much more meaningful to marry by the Church. I don't mean this because of the "procedures" itself or any kind of cultural preciosity nor am I saying that only church marriages are real, I'm nobody to tell other marriages are wrong.
I just think that making it so that your union is recognized by God is one of the most sincere love proofs ever. It's basically transcending your relationship and your love to a whole new level, which is pretty exciting. A new beginning for a love life among two people and a more complex meaning for the start of a family.

This is why I value people that still marry by the Church.

But that's just me.[/QUOTE]

The whole "recognized by god" thing just doesn't mean much if you don't believe in said god. Hence their fairly traditional, but non religious marriage.

[Behemoth_PT]

I know. I just went a little off topic.
I'm just speaking for myself as a catholic. Of course that non believers wouldn't feel the need to follow that path. All I'm saying is that people need to find meaning for their marriage rather than doing it for the sake of tradition or social status.