Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
Hi guys, I'm not sure if this is the right thread so let me know.
This is pretty much my first attempt at anything girl related, I have some self-esteem issues, mostly physical so they didn't help too much back in high school or anything.
So here's the main thing, there's this girl, she started working at my job a few months ago and we did talk a few times, just "Hi" or "How have you been". She waves/smiles to me and that's a good thing to me since I'm not exactly Hugh Hefner when it comes to social interactions. She ended up taking a promotion a few months later and I added her on Facebook to keep in touch since we have different schedules. We do see each other from time to time but it's mostly just greetings and such, I do ask how her day is going and she replies in a rather short response, which I understand since her new job keeps her on her feet a lot.
The other day I messaged her over Facebook that I saw a favorite movie of hers (She has a thing for Disney movies) since she's pretty much always posting stuff about it. I asked her about a different movie and she did recommend I see that. We talked a bit about the movies, nothing else too much.
Here's my dilemma right now, do you guys think she just wants to keep it strictly platonic? She does seem ok with talking to me but her messages over Facebook are pretty much short, like she seems uninterested in talking. Stuff like "haha ___". She does go to grad school so I'm guessing that could have something to do with it.
I do plan on asking her to hang out but the only problem is that I don't have my license right now which pretty much hinders that quite a bit. Should I just keep talking to her in public more? I don't think Facebook is a good way to converse since I think I'm more conversational in person. Her Facebook doesn't mention anywhere about her being in a relationship status so I'm unsure of where she is relationship-wise, I'm not even sure if I should bring it up lol.
For the TL;DR's: Met a girl, she doesn't seem too open in conversations so I'm wondering if I should keep talking to her or just move on. It's been racking my brain for a while now. It doesn't help that I have no idea if she's single or not.
[QUOTE=Y2Zack;44661811]The other day I messaged her over Facebook that I saw a favorite movie of hers (She has a thing for Disney movies) since she's pretty much always posting stuff about it. I asked her about a different movie and she did recommend I see that. We talked a bit about the movies, nothing else too much.[/QUOTE]
Its Frozen isn't it? I bet it's Frozen. No body will shut up about Frozen.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44662239]Its Frozen isn't it? I bet it's Frozen. No body will shut up about Frozen.[/QUOTE]
Frozen is terribly over-rated tbh
Let's not make this a Frozen argument thread, I've seen enough of those already
Well, that girl that ended up saying yes to me at prom found out she had to work all day yesterday, so I ended up not going, even though I paid $55 for tickets...
Another interesting fact as well. We ended up going to breakfast, since she worked at 2. During which I found out she currently has a boyfriend she's living with. She'd broken up with the one I knew she had, a month or two earlier, and is already living with a new guy, since she is just jumping houses.
I was left dazzled and confused after breakfast. Once we left, she just said "see ya at graduation!" and that was it. Graduation is a month from now. So that's that.
[QUOTE=NoDachi;44654253]Sigh that girl I met on holiday then asked me to stay with her in China, is being sent back home to Eastern Ukraine in two days.
Which really sucks because all the countries are revoking or cancelling Ukrainian Passport visa because of the ongoing conflict.
I originally planned on saving up some money here first before flying back out and travelling around Asia with her but as time passed I didn't really follow through with the plan.
My mother said she could come stay here, but the UK won't issue any visas anymore. I'm a little worried for her to be honest but she just wants to be with her family, I just wish I could be a little more helpful.[/QUOTE]
Damn that's not good...Hope the situation doesn't escalate between RU and UA I've got family there too :(
On another note, how cute is this lady? I have a weakness for Slav cuties.
I want to make a Tinder account with my actual age on it instead of it saying 23 because it is bringing me up interest for people in their 20's
My Facebook "year" is 1990 but I was born in 1996, you can't go under 18 if you're over it, and if you lodge a form about the corrected birthday the account could be possibly suspended
I'm in a pickle
but arent you almost 18?
[QUOTE=Psygo;44665545]but arent you almost 18?[/QUOTE]
In like 3-4 months
Well I think I'm going to let this whole thing slide, I really don't want to have a dispute with her that could end with us falling out. She is one of the greatest friends I feel I have ever had and I would I don't think I could live with myself if it ended because of this whole incident.
And the thing is she hasn't even explained to me yet, there could yet be a completely innocent explanation.
How do you deal with difficult people?
Here's some backstory.
I'm 21. I've had an on and off friend for 14 years. We've been close for the past 3 or 4 years, and were pretty close in our early years too. But these last few days, interacting with him has been... trying, to say the least.
Rewind time to last week. He turned 21 on Sunday. So Thursday is the day we decide to all go drinking. My girlfriend and I are better planners than most people in the group, so we plan to just go to a couple happy hours at some restaurants with full service bars. That way, our under 21 friends can tag along, and everyone can have a good time.
First off, he's being difficult about the Thursday plans, since he wants to go to actual bars, but is having trouble understanding that I know [I]by experience[/I] that the bars he wants to go to will not allow his close under 21 buddy inside. Eventually he just goes "Well I don't even want to do this anymore." Which is understandable. I get that making plans can be frustrating. I reply "Alright man. I'm just trying to work with you because I want you to have fun." He decides he doesn't want to go because he's broke, so I'm like, "Dude, we're going out for your 21st birthday. You aren't going to spend a dime." Utterly convinced he couldn't drink at a restaurant, he just replies "Nothing works out how I want it to. If you guys want to go somewhere tonight, it's fine, I don't care."
We still end up going out on Thursday. He has a good time. Doesn't spend a dollar of his own money. The night ends, everyone goes their separate ways, all is well.
Now fast forward to today. I message him on Facebook trying to make smalltalk. Finally just replies with "sorry dude, i honestly don't care right now. i have a lot on my mind right now" and of course, I get offended, but decide to not react on that because well, it's just not worth getting angry over. I ask him if he wants to talk about it. So he says that my girlfriend and I were being extremely rude to him over the Thursday plans, and he felt that his birthday plans were dictated entirely by other people, and he had a shitty weekend because of it. I tell him "well I'm sorry to hear that. it doesn't make me happy, but that's alright. sorry man."
And that's where we are now. Everything in quotes is copypaste from Facebook chat, so I didn't doctor anything. Am I in the wrong? I straight up told him I want to work with him to help make it fun. I'm trying to be the bigger person but he's just really trying my patience. I'm hoping it's just a phase that will sort of blow over, but I was hoping someone can tell me what a good course of action is going forward?
No, you're not in the wrong. He's being a total asshole. If he had a problem with what you were doing he should have spoken up at the time, but either way he should be showing more appreciation that his friends have taken some out to do something for him for his birthday. He sounds like an ungrateful prick right now tbh
I suggest leaving him alone for a couple of weeks to let him cool off, and if he's a good guy he won't hold a grudge over something so stupid
If he does hold a grudge then you should probably try and sort it out with him before it festers
[QUOTE=Protocol7;44669851]How do you deal with difficult people?
Here's some backstory.
I'm 21. I've had an on and off friend for 14 years. We've been close for the past 3 or 4 years, and were pretty close in our early years too. But these last few days, interacting with him has been... trying, to say the least.
Rewind time to last week. He turned 21 on Sunday. So Thursday is the day we decide to all go drinking. My girlfriend and I are better planners than most people in the group, so we plan to just go to a couple happy hours at some restaurants with full service bars. That way, our under 21 friends can tag along, and everyone can have a good time.
First off, he's being difficult about the Thursday plans, since he wants to go to actual bars, but is having trouble understanding that I know [I]by experience[/I] that the bars he wants to go to will not allow his close under 21 buddy inside. Eventually he just goes "Well I don't even want to do this anymore." Which is understandable. I get that making plans can be frustrating. I reply "Alright man. I'm just trying to work with you because I want you to have fun." He decides he doesn't want to go because he's broke, so I'm like, "Dude, we're going out for your 21st birthday. You aren't going to spend a dime." Utterly convinced he couldn't drink at a restaurant, he just replies "Nothing works out how I want it to. If you guys want to go somewhere tonight, it's fine, I don't care."
We still end up going out on Thursday. He has a good time. Doesn't spend a dollar of his own money. The night ends, everyone goes their separate ways, all is well.
Now fast forward to today. I message him on Facebook trying to make smalltalk. Finally just replies with "sorry dude, i honestly don't care right now. i have a lot on my mind right now" and of course, I get offended, but decide to not react on that because well, it's just not worth getting angry over. I ask him if he wants to talk about it. So he says that my girlfriend and I were being extremely rude to him over the Thursday plans, and he felt that his birthday plans were dictated entirely by other people, and he had a shitty weekend because of it. I tell him "well I'm sorry to hear that. it doesn't make me happy, but that's alright. sorry man."
And that's where we are now. Everything in quotes is copypaste from Facebook chat, so I didn't doctor anything. Am I in the wrong? I straight up told him I want to work with him to help make it fun. I'm trying to be the bigger person but he's just really trying my patience. I'm hoping it's just a phase that will sort of blow over, but I was hoping someone can tell me what a good course of action is going forward?[/QUOTE]
he's being an ass
i have a friend that acts like that so now we never invite him to anything anymore
so you're in the right and you also handled it way better than i did lol
Well gentlemen, it's been done. I've finally gone on a date. And, it was a lot of fun! Ended pretty fun too, if you get what I mean. Ehehehehe ;) We had sex...
Seems like it's getting a bit serious, though. If it weren't for the distance thing, we'd probably be all over each other all the time. We're both a bit clingy/needy. Dunno if this is a good or bad thing. I've still got another girl I'm talking to that I'm considering taking out. The two girls are fairly different people. Dunno which I'd like to be with and don't know how I would break it to the other girl...
Okay heres a different question from my last one. How do you strike up conversation with someone you don't really know at all but would like to get to know? I have this girls Skype, she's hot but I'm not looking to try and get anything going with her, she just seems nice. I don't know her at all, she is a friend of a friend and I added her because I had to hang up and call back when I bought Skype Premium so we could all talk using webcams (yes it's free now I know, but not back then). I don't want to come off as a creep but I would love to get to know her.
I have a dumb creepy question
There's this guy I've talked to like three times in the past 8 months even though I've had three classes with him between this semester and the last one. We chatted a bit about games in a lab today but I didn't get a chance to ask him if it would be cool if I added him on FB or anything, would it be super weird to add him? My professor made a facebook post in her class's group broadcasting his name at one point so it's not like I went out of my way to find out his full name or anything.
[editline]29th April 2014[/editline]
Nevermind, I sent him a message and apparently I'm not being creepy!
Its pretty amazing how whiskey and music can bring back memories nearly 6 years ago 0_o
[editline]30th April 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;44681872]I have a dumb creepy question
There's this guy I've talked to like three times in the past 8 months even though I've had three classes with him between this semester and the last one. We chatted a bit about games in a lab today but I didn't get a chance to ask him if it would be cool if I added him on FB or anything, would it be super weird to add him? My professor made a facebook post in her class's group broadcasting his name at one point so it's not like I went out of my way to find out his full name or anything.
[editline]29th April 2014[/editline]
Nevermind, I sent him a message and apparently I'm not being creepy![/QUOTE]
Adding isn't weird at all, that's what it's there for. Hell most of the girls I used to talk to is just from randomly messaging on FB and bringing up something I knew was in common.
So that girl that I was dating for like a week and decided to take a step back before we had anything serious... About her....
I had hardly texted her over the weekend and last night she called upset and asked if I could hang out. I came over and she was near tears the entire time telling me about how she met this guy over the weekend and ended up sleeping with him the next night while they were both hammered. Then she was all upset because she thought they had something serious and now he was blowing her off. She said she felt lie a whore and how she had to apply tons of makeup to cover the hickeys all over her neck. The worst part is that she only seemed ashamed because he was blowing her off now and admitted she would fuck him again if she got the chance.
So now I have zero interest in her and feel like I'm just being used as someone for her to just cry and shovel her emotions on. I like her as a person but goddamn, she doesn't realize how insignificant this makes me feel now.
The worst part is that she didn't even want to talk to me in the study room today. She said she "needed to study", even though she chatted with another friend of hers while I sat across the room most of the time. I'm fucking done with her.
Same friend I was bitching about earlier? Links me the goddamn Baman & Piderman Kickstarter, says "I'm seriously considering the $90 package," and he just bought a $700 guitar last week. [B]On credit.[/B]
Fucking idiot. I don't know what to do anymore. Can't have a decent conversation anymore and you're putting yourself in a mountain of debt at 21 years of age.
Between that, school, and work, I'm frustrated. I've actually gone to bars to drink just to feel better. I really need a goddamn break.
Having a quite terrible situation...
I'm still seeing the same girl for the last 2 1/2 months. Still haven't really kissed or anything. We used to go out all the time and see each other, go on dates. She slowly stopped hanging out with me. Now I only see her about 30 minutes every 2 weeks. She lives just a bike ride away. It's causing me anxiety and depression to the point where I have to see someone now. I guess I should break up with her, but she's been the best person I've ever been with up until the point where she became elusive. I started drinking a lot during the weekends where my friends would be out with their significant others. I am fine being single, but the thought of actually having someone who doesn't want to see you hits me hard. I have pretty much gotten blacked out drunk the last 2 weekends, and now I'm facing the decision to break up with her. However, each time I gain the courage to do so, I get a text or something saying "hey cute BF i really want to do ____ with you" in which she ends up cancelling anyways.
sorry for the rant, shits getting weird now and I'm losing a bit of control that I once had over a simple girl. Makes me a bit embarrassed. The key point is that everything USED to be great. But every time I talk to her about it she just says I'm crazy and she needs her space. I really don't that spending more than an hour a week is a huge commitment..
[QUOTE=Glitchman;44686732]Having a quite terrible situation...
I'm still seeing the same girl for the last 2 1/2 months. Still haven't really kissed or anything. We used to go out all the time and see each other, go on dates. She slowly stopped hanging out with me. Now I only see her about 30 minutes every 2 weeks. She lives just a bike ride away. It's causing me anxiety and depression to the point where I have to see someone now. I guess I should break up with her, but she's been the best person I've ever been with up until the point where she became elusive. I started drinking a lot during the weekends where my friends would be out with their significant others. I am fine being single, but the thought of actually having someone who doesn't want to see you hits me hard. I have pretty much gotten blacked out drunk the last 2 weekends, and now I'm facing the decision to break up with her. However, each time I gain the courage to do so, I get a text or something saying "hey cute BF i really want to do ____ with you" in which she ends up cancelling anyways.
sorry for the rant, shits getting weird now and I'm losing a bit of control that I once had over a simple girl. Makes me a bit embarrassed. The key point is that everything USED to be great. But every time I talk to her about it she just says I'm crazy and she needs her space. I really don't that spending more than an hour a week is a huge commitment..[/QUOTE]
This is probably repetitive cause I dont remember but what level of disscussion have you two had about this?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44687169]This is probably repetitive cause I dont remember but what level of disscussion have you two had about this?[/QUOTE]
one 20 minute phone conversation
Maybe it would be best to talk again. Its communication that makes or breaks a relationship.
Explain your feelings to her as indepth as you can and find out hers. Then from there you can decide what to do.
Either you guys will be able to sufficiently reconcile your differences, or not.
I had a similar problem not long ago before my current girlfriend. I thought she was amazing, but there were obvious signs that she really didn't care too much about me that I was basically in denial about. At the same time though, if I ever brought up the issue, she would deny it like she felt she needed to have me under her control for security or something.
I'm so happy I made the decision to get out of that because now I'm with someone who wants to be with me as much or more as I do with them, which is a great feeling. Persistence won't make someone feel the same way about you as you do them. I stupidly tried though.
Met a girl from tinder and we decided to hook up in the midst of exam week to burn off some steam, but events that I was unable to predict transpired and did irreparably damage to the coitus. Allow me to explain.
Did everything right as far as meeting and talking to her, we initially met at a coffee shop to just casually talk things over and get to know each other. I brought no expectations of romance to the table (naïve considering tinder) and was content to make her laugh and blather on about the philosophical implications of being alive and self-aware but she started to subtly drop hints about possible romantic interaction and to avoid slighting her I eventually addressed them and then we arranged our Tuesday evening tryst.
We decided to meet at my place because my roommate had previously said he would be in the library all night studying for his Automata Theory exam. So everything went down without a hitch, we met at the vague time-frame we agreed on, foreplay occurred etc. Not long after that we found ourselves in a compromising position with my back to the door, this became important because my roommate suddenly burst in babbling about forgetting his lighter(?). I would have turned my full body around but one my crucial pivot points was currently in action and I only ended up jerking my head around so quickly that my neck muscles seized up and locked my head at a painful 165 degree angle.
After that came yelling as I became painfully aware of my own mortality and was concerned that I might have broken my neck because I was unable to move my neck back to normal. My roommate took my yells for rage so he made a hasty exit and presumably never got his mid study nicotine fix. The sex ended rapidly as the fear and pain caused my erection to shrivel down to subatomic particles and I spent the next few minutes shouting questions concerning the bones in my neck at the pool girl while my head rested uncomfortably on my own shoulder.
To my relief she was a former med student who still remembered enough medical jargon to calm me somewhat and after rerobing she was kind enough to escort me to the student medical center where they gave me some muscle relaxants. It's safe to say we bonded somewhat during the experience and while we may never have sex again we will at least remain good friends.
The muscle relaxants worked wonders and after one night I'm back to 100% except for maybe my pride. Texted my roommate back and let him know I wasn't angry and when he came back I gave him the last of the muscle relaxants as per his request. I should get a blog.
a few weeks ago i started realizing that i loved my girlfriend, but i was pretty content with not rushing to tell her this and give myself time to think about it, especially because of her previous relationship (i mentioned this earlier in the thread)
however, this week, ive been having more and more negative thoughts about her. im finding her kinda boring and irritating. when im with her its mostly fine, but i feel like im starting to lose interest
so good thing i didnt blurt out that i loved her right?
except last night she told me she loved me, so i told her i did too. i dont necessarily think im lying because i still do have strong feeling for her, but i just feel a little strange about the whole thing, because i was definitely prepared to wait it out a little longer since i started to have some second thoughts.
im not asking for any advice in particular, id just like some input maybe?
Hey guys.
So much has happened in these past few days that only now have I been able to organize my ideas.
Oh well, to sum it all up as you know, after 6 years of patience and grooming great feelings for a girl, let's call her Sara (not real name) I actually made it with her. We kissed and decided to start a relationship together.
However, as I told before there was an issue: she wasn't over her ex still. And I can't blame her. She was having a pretty stable relationship, I didn't know, and it ended abruptly early this year because the guy had to go back to his country forever. And I can only imagine how painful a breakup like that must be.
So yeah, we decided to go slow and I think I did a great job at that. Never put any pressure, always gave her the space she wanted.
Anyway we went to a festival together last week just me and her,, both of us brought our tends but we decided to sleep in the same one and lend mine to a friend of us.
We've were a really sweet couple there. Gave her space, she seemed very happy and all. She would often come seek me for a kiss and all that.
Oh well, we go to shows together, and then she decides she's tires and goes back to the tent. I stay a bit longer because I was reviewing some friends I haven't seen in a long time and wanted to catch up with them.
I go to the tent like 1 hour later, she's there in her sleeping bag all tucked in. I decide to be nice. Wasn't thinking about sex nor anything, just wanted to cuddle a bit and give her some kisses goodnight. I immediately stop, telling "what's the issue, Am I moving too fast?" She's just like "no, I just don't want that at the moment".
I then tell her "look, I wasn't trying to go for sex, just wanted to cuddle and kiss you goodnight".
She's like, "I don't want that, sorry".
Ok.. awkward silence... I go into my sleeping bag and she turns to me "I'm sorry..." and I'm like, "Well, it's ok, it was me". And we started sleeping.
Next morning I wake up fresh, she always stays asleep a little longer, I get up, wash up, come back and then start reading some comic books I had brought. I feel awkward about last night and I feel I should apologize for my advances but things get kinda cold. So I rather give some space, stay in my thing.
She wakes up, we start looking at the band guide of that day, no kissing, no cuddling, just looking and laughing together. I start feeling uncomfortable thinking "God Dammit I fucked it up".
Anyway, we all wake up, and decide to go to the market stock up with beer. As I go to the ATM she goes by me "Hey, I'm sorry about last night" and leans her head over my shoulder as I'm taking the money out.
I'm like, "really no problem, we can talk about it later, but It's ok, I'm glad we're talking about this at the moment because it's been really bugging me."
She: "No, it was me."
We kiss. And after that it's like a huge weight had come out of both our shoulders. She starts approaching me more and more and I think everything's ok.
Comes the night, the precinct opens and it's time to go in. She's being super sweet to me, hugs, kisses , sharing food we're getting from the food stands, you name it. She's happy, I can see it, super talkative to everyone, we even met Bonded By Blood's vocalist there, the guy's so cool, came sit and drink with us.
So I'm at the table with her and my friends, rain's just pouring down like crazy. She starts passing her hand through my hair, our friends are like teasing us and laughing, everything is alright.
We go see some concerts together, go to the mosh together. She starts letting everyone know I'm her boyfriend and all that, we're super happy at that point and I think "well things are going great!".
I then wanted to see Metal Church, a band that she didn't like so much, so she decides to stay. She's like "hey sweetheart, let me know when you go".
Time comes; I let her know, she gives me a huge kiss.. the last.
I come back, I'm drunk, stoned, happy. The show was great. I go sit by her and I notice something's odd. I take her hand into mine, she tells me "Sorry, I just can't do this..." and starts to cry.
I'm shocked at this point, we're both a little dazzled from the drinks but pretty conscious yet.
I'm like, "but you've been telling everyone we were having a relationship, that I was your boyfriend, what the fuck?!"
She: "That's because I've been trying all by myself to act like your girlfriend but I just can't. Every time I'm with you I'm thinking about the other guy, because it pains me so much that I won't see him again" and starts crying even more.
I tell her, It's ok, lend her my shoulder and I tell her I love her on her ear, I tell her it's ok, that I don't want her to feel bad about it, and we sit and talk for like an hour. I tell her my feelings, and what amazed me the most was that when I told her I loved her she smiled. She told me she was so sorry but she couldn't see me like that at that moment.
I don't know why I acted so maturely about that, I don't know how I was able to put my pride aside and not getting up and telling her to fuck off. I guess she's special enough for me not to act like an asshole with her. I mean, she's been straight and honest with me all the way through, she didn't haste things with me, she let us take our time talking.
So, I'm like don't worry, let's be friends then, lets take our time, be friends and we'll try again in the future when it all settles down, I'll wait for you (and this "waiting for you" thing, was the only thing I regret saying). So yeah, we kind of agreed to take some time to just be friends, do more stuff together and go from there, and try again latter. She said yes, I said yes.
Also told her, I'd probably need some time to absorb all of that, and yeah thank god I took some time because after that I started falling into a vortex of depression.
First of all, despite she telling me that I was a great guy and that I treated her like a princess and that she would be the happiest girl with me if things work out in the future, I noticed she wasn't the same person anymore. She was down, sad. Wasn't meeting new people. Instead she only wandered around talking to our mutual friends (that somehow are rooting for us to work it out and be happy together).
Basically she still missed her ex - and I can't blame her, she won't be seeing him again - so I had no option than to be understanding.
I was in the shit too, so I started looking for my other friends so I could get away from it all.
And since everyone seemed to like her everyone started asking me "Hey, we're your girl man?"
And the thing that fucked me up the most that day and the next was to explain everyone how we're not together anymore and how we broke up and telling the typical "oh, but it's alright!".
I think she started making an effort all by herself so she could see if she could really live as my girlfriend at that point. Of course she couldn't because things don't work that way. She said that above all I'm her friend, and a really great one, and as long as she's still thinking about her ex, she won't be able to see me as anything else.
It sucked. So I went to talk/vent to a close friend of mine. She's really nice, let's call her Amy.
So Amy's like shocked, because she liked us so much as a couple, and because I had lended her my tent. She's all like "I'm gonna have a serious talk with that girl!" and she did rant her to death. Not my doing but made her feel guilty as hell.
She told me that she told Sara, that all she ever had with guys was shit and that when a great guy appears she kicks him off immediately, and that she was being stupid (she was harsh, yeah) and that the other guy wasn't coming back and the way she broke up with me was the worst thing she could do. Sara then replied "what if he comes back" and Amy told her "So what, then we'll all talk, you just don't do that to your best friend (me), just go check him, you broke up with him and he's still sleeping in your tent feeling like shit" - "he's not feeling like shit, he said he'd be ok" - "ok? fuck you seriously, just take a look at him" - I actually heard this part of the conversation but I was half asleep. I noticed however some hesitation when she entered the tent, like she was checking me.
And yeah that night I still had to sleep in Sara's tent. I had nowhere else to sleep. Shit sucked, but I'm an early bird so I got out of the tent and decided to try and have fun despite of it all, so I went for an early walk.
I come across Bounded by Blood's vocalist and he calls me over, and we start talking about stuff. How life is here and in the US. Our adventures and then we find ourselves talking about women. haha.
Oh well, fast forward a bit, I'm with another group of friends at this point and there's another girl there that starts hitting on me because she knew I was available. So we start talking and drinking together, her name is Ana. Well she's nice, bur she has some issues, told me about a project she was doing at her city and it was kinda cool.
We then go see some shows together, she starts pouring in more and more alcohol in my cup and I'm like "well, what the hell, ok". We were watching Discharge at this point and I notice she's getting closer and closer to me, hugging my arm and all that, inventing excuses just to talk into my ear, and then I notice Sara in the corner of my eye. She's looking at us. Well I try to make it as if she's not there and start flirting with Ana at this point.
Next I know we're heading to camp a bit drunk. We're alone there, we start getting closer and closer and all of a sudden we're making out. Seriously making out, some serious aggressive making out, almost as if she wants to eat me out.
I stayed for a while enjoying it, was actually thinking about having some "revenge" sex with her and then I fell into myself. "wow, we gotta stop, I can't do this, sorry".
And I headed inside the show.
Then I notice after a while, she's there again, and she tries to go for another kiss. Great I now have a stalker on my back. And the funny thing is that, I try to tell her I don't want anything, that I was kissing her while thinking about Sara, and to do this I had to tell it to her ear.
However, this bitch was so shitfaced that every time I tried to talk to her ear (because music is loud) she tries to go for another kiss, again and again and again, so I just get the hell out of there, move to the other stage for the final band and then go seek Amy for some late night venting and advice.
Amy then tells me that I shouldn't be feeling like that, that I should enjoy life more and the show, and that I should be having fun there, but anyway, night is over for me so I go to sleep at my tent. (Amy went to sleep some place else so I could be alone at my tent).
Oh well, next day it was leaving day. I was so cold and distant towards Sara that I could see the worry in her face. I helped her pack but nothing more. I was hurt.
The trip back was as silent and awkward as a tomb and when we arrived, we didn't even kiss goodbye. It was just a cold "bye" and I left.
At this point I feel like we should talk because I didn't want to spoil the friendship but I wasn't ready to talk because I was afraid to say something nasty or try to make her feel bad for what she's done.
So, she texts me saying "You forgot your car keys at my car". Fuck!
I tell her that I'd come pick em up today, so I went.
Today I feel great, not as hurt anymore. I went to her place to pick the keys up and we talked.
I didn't want to be mad anymore so we talked like the friends we've always been. Explained her what hurt me, she explained me why she acted like she did, and everything went alright. I asked there if anything has changed since last we talked and if there would be anything she'd like to add or take back, she said no. I said I wanted to take back that I would wait for her, instead I told her that I wouldn't wait, but I wouldn't run away either.
Oh well, she told me that at this point she can't see anyone else as more than friend, and me being one of her biggest it's totally understandable that she can't, at this point see me as more than a friend. So yeah basically we'reboth moving on, none of us is going anywhere and she said she would seek me when she's better.
We kind of agreed to do more stuff together, go about our adventures together and try again later and see where life leads us.
I'm happy about it, she didn't say "We're never gonna have anything ever" so there's hope, and I'm sure as hell not gonna give up. But I'll be patient. I don't mind be seeing other people in the meantime. And of course if in the meantime someone that will rock my boat appeares then it wasn't meant to be.
Oh well, anyway, since my birthday is soon I decided to throw a barbecue at my place. I invited her to come, she seemed happy about it. I hope she can make it here that day.
I don't know why, I love this girl, we had something, we broke up, but I don't feel bad, nor unhappy.
It only took a week, but it was the most healthy and honest relationship I've ever had.
Oh well, sorry for the testament.
So uh, today me and a girl I've been involved with in this past a time or two decided to get together and go out and do some stuff! We went bowling, stopped for food, typical but it was nice to see her again. Definitely seemed sorta interested in me so that was neat, but that's where the shitty feelings start to come in. Because I honestly haven't ever felt this like, "unattracted" to her before, I guess. Which means a lot because she was more or less the only girl I ever wanted to be with in High School. I didn't have her on a pedestal or anything like that, just the way the cards came in to my hand I guess.
She used to not smoke or drink or do drugs, and while those are things I don't really have a huge problem with morally, they're not things I'd really want any SO to do since they're things I try to steer clear of just because of some past stuff and etc. But like 10 minutes in she wips out a cigarette which kinda surprised me because I didn't know she smoked. Didn't mention it because it's not my place really. Then she starts talking about how she got so drunk at her friends house that she blacked out, and woke up with her shirt on backwards and a bunch of other "very funny" drunk stories. I mean, I got sort of a kick out of them but it's hard for me to see someone I care about doing shit like that because I grew up with and alcoholic mom, so it just kinda mixed in all that bitterness I have towards that with the current moment, not really anything logical I'm sure, but still. Then after we got back in to the car she got a phone call that ended up being her needing to pick up some weed she bought a few days ago. Again, not something I give a huge damn about, but its still something I like to keep away from just because from some past stuff I don't really wanna post here, I have my reasons to not want to be around it, or too close to people who are.
All in all it seems like she just sorta let herself go, she used to be a really healthy person, worked out as much as she could with her leg problems, strayed away from most of the bad shit and etc., seemed like she had a lot of respect for herself and now it seems like its gone. Now she seems pretty in to most of it, gained a ton of weight( not enough to be ugly, but it's noticeable), got herself tatted up all over, just stuff that doesn't really do much for me, I suppose. I don't know. I think it's all her decisions and that if she enjoys it she should keep doing it, but it's not stuff I'd want a SO to do. She's still a really nice person and I am glad to have her around, but she's just changed a lot I guess.
Still, I had a really fun outing with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time so that's something to be grateful for, I suppose. Might give it a few more goes, see if any of these feelings are just me not liking what appears to me as a sudden change. At the end of it I could tell shes still the same person, we talked a lot and still get along together just fine, she's just changed a lot of little stuff and I'm not incredibly sure how I feel about it. Her seeming interested and etc. was sort of an ego boost I suppose, too.
Just wanted to type some of this out considering I feel conflicted as hell, I guess.
(Jake if you're reading this don't be a cunt and talk about it tyvm :^) )
Not trying to be a dick, but did we just start writing a Facepunch romance book?
Haha, well, I could write a book, I mean, I'm basically coming here latelly just to make some sort of romance blog of my love life.
But anyway, I still have feelings for her, but I'm moving on at the moment. It's not like I have any other option. I sometimes feel depressed about the situation, specially at night, but I know it will pass. Invited her for a party I'm throwing here, but there will be other people so I'm ok.
Sucks not to be corresponded the same way but I guess that's life. It was good while it lasted and although it happened at a terrible timing, now we both know how we feel about each other.
And I'm gonna take this time to grow up a bit more, live life, rekindle my social life and do more stuff and hobbies.
I'm cool with this, whatever happens happens. Who knows what I'll find along the way or what the future will bring?
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