Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[NO ONE]

[QUOTE=G-foxisus;44719945]i think most people will be scarred after having such an intimate relationship. if anything, time doesnt fix things or heal, it helps you cope as time goes on, until you just forget about her.

i would personally withhold attempting another relationship so close to this one. it might help reduce the pain but it will not take it away completely, and you might even end up continuously comparing your next gf to your ex-gf, which isn't beneficial to either party.

important to note here is the time aspect. if anything, you need distractions that aren't drugs. pick up new hobbies, exercises, and talk to (caring) friends about it. getting your mind off things and venting your woes helps a lot (try to do this irl, not online. this amounts to very little "actual" venting).

anything that distracts and extends the time will make you "get over her". maybe in time you can hook up together as friends, should you remain in close proximity with each other (i would personally not do this, as this opens old wounds).

lastly, its just a matter of carrying on with your life. its a cumbersome and slow process, but you cant dwell on the things in the past.

[editline]1[/editline]

i cant emphasize exercise enough. not only does it get your mind off things in general (due to fatigue and being busy) it also helps boost your natural hormones and brain receptors, aside from the fact that its a healthy thing to do. sitting idly and dwelling on the past makes you gain weight, yo.[/QUOTE]

I've been lifting and doing other shit for over a year now so I am already set for that. It's just it has started to get complex in that some very new hobbies I've picked up (hot yoga and drawing) I got inspired to get in to because of her. If it wasn't for her being sick this past Thursday (and if I avoided having things going down the way they did Wednesday), I very well would have had her as a yoga buddy that day.

As for drawing I had been sending her occasional pics of my work for critiquing. She had been doing the same to me, always showing off her work to me. It wasn't that long ago that we had a conversation about how much of an inspiration she is to me.

In short, she really rubbed off on me. This is why I really have it stuck in my head I need to keep her as friend, even if after this it won't be as close of a friendship. I hate having the idea be stuck in my head that I lost a close friend over telling them I'm still attracted to them, albeit under the wrong circumstances.

Right now I'm still focusing on ignoring any urges to talk to her, but I'm already making these plans in my head for what I might want to say in a few months from now or something in an effort to reestablish the connection.

One other thing I'm doing right now is reconnecting with an old female friend. Known her for years, just haven't been very close the past 8-9 months. I might hang out with her tonight, and I think it will be very therapeutic. She's planning on having a bonfire, so I'll probably get to meet some new people.

[Gnomerz]

So I've run into a bit of a problem and it's pretty upsetting. I'll start the story from the beginning.

My cousin, my cousin's girlfriend, my friend, and I were all walking around one day. My cousins' girlfriend isn't necessarily the most liked person in my town so she gets a lot of harassment. Well, one day we were walking around and someone yells out to my cousin, "Hey, nice girlfriend!" in a clearly sarcastic tone. That's when my friend (we'll call him Jim) decides to yell out, "Say it to my face faggot!". Jim does this stuff often, but nothing usually happens, but this day there was an exception. The car stopped and another kid got out of the car and started to follow us, shoving Jim and telling him to fight now. Jim not liking to fight doesn't know what to do, so we all just keep walking and eventually walks off.

Skip ahead about a week and we're walking around my town again, this time it's Jim, me, and a different friend. This whole passed week, Jim had been talking about how he'd "fuck that kid up" if he ever saw him again. Well, as we're passing the park we hear someone yell, "Hey look, it's pussy!". We stop and soon discover it was being yelled to Jim. They then yell, "Come here!" and Jim turns to me and ask what he should do, and I respond with, "Let's go see what they want." So we casually walk up to them and the kid asks Jim if he's going to get the fight he wanted. Jim asks for my opinion on the subject again and I tell him, "I guess fight him". So we walk to the back of the park so the two could fight and people could watch without parents or something noticing.

The fight starts, and the other friend that was with me and Jim begins to record it with his phone. Jim gets the other kid into a choke hold and has him on the ground, but the kid tells Jim, "Let go, I want to restart." Jim then loosens his grip, and the kid obviously bullshitting Jim gets on top of him and begins whaling on the back of his head. Jim then shouts out, "I'm done!" a couple of times. The kid stops hitting Jim and Jim looks up to the other kid and all of a sudden the kid throws a hook right into Jim's eye. Keep in mind this was a clear cheap shot. So the fight is finished and they shake hands.

We take him back to my house because his eye is very clearly swollen and bruised. After a while of joking around, we take him back to my house. When we drop him off, his parents begin to flip out and me and the other kid are told to go home. The next day, I find out Jim was taken to the hospital that night and had to get stitches and what not for the fight. But then also to my dismay, Jim is saying the fight was all of my fault. He says I was a shitty friend for not jumping in after the cheap shot (mind you, the kid who was recording the fight didn't jump in either). He kept exclaiming that any of his other friends would have jumped in to help and he can't be friends with someone like me.

It's just really bothering me that he's just dropping a 3 year friendship like this. The fact that all of the blame is pointed at me (even by his parents) is infuriating. I was not the only friend there. But no, he still talks to and hangs out with the one who filmed the fight, but not me. He said he can no longer trust me. He says he's forgiven me, but he still doesn't talk to me, and won't even think about hanging out. I just don't know what to do, because I'd like to keep this friendship, we were really close friends. It's just taken me into a negative mind set towards everything. It's really affecting me.

What should I do?

[g-foxisus]

sounds to me like his parents got to him, and that he looked for a scapegoat of sorts to shift blames?

i dunno, if anything, a friend who does such a thing isn't a very good friend. and I doubt that getting back together with him would leave no mental scars or prejudices

[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=NO ONE;44720558]I've been lifting and doing other shit for over a year now so I am already set for that. It's just it has started to get complex in that some very new hobbies I've picked up (hot yoga and drawing) I got inspired to get in to because of her. If it wasn't for her being sick this past Thursday (and if I avoided having things going down the way they did Wednesday), I very well would have had her as a yoga buddy that day.

As for drawing I had been sending her occasional pics of my work for critiquing. She had been doing the same to me, always showing off her work to me. It wasn't that long ago that we had a conversation about how much of an inspiration she is to me.

In short, she really rubbed off on me. This is why I really have it stuck in my head I need to keep her as friend, even if after this it won't be as close of a friendship. I hate having the idea be stuck in my head that I lost a close friend over telling them I'm still attracted to them, albeit under the wrong circumstances.

Right now I'm still focusing on ignoring any urges to talk to her, but I'm already making these plans in my head for what I might want to say in a few months from now or something in an effort to reestablish the connection.

One other thing I'm doing right now is reconnecting with an old female friend. Known her for years, just haven't been very close the past 8-9 months. I might hang out with her tonight, and I think it will be very therapeutic. She's planning on having a bonfire, so I'll probably get to meet some new people.[/QUOTE]

your intonation in your message indicates that you had a tight bond with your now-ex gf, and that you involved her in just about everything you did, which of course is natural to do so in a relationship.

i'm unsure what you want for the future, you say that hanging out with her might work therapeutic, but for me personally it would evoke emotional feelings to bubble up again, in a nostalgic way.

not saying you SHOULDN'T meet up with her, just saying that you shouldn't get your hopes up for getting back together, or even becoming friends again like before. and its good to meet new people, as becoming more social with people you haven't met before can result in some interesting and rich conversations.

if you mean to get over her, try to remove any triggers that remind you of her. if you mean to cope with your current situation, distractions and social venting (occasionally) will help. having had such a long relationship is very tricky to get out of, as involving a person into your live for more than a few years is maddening, and you'll always feel that gut tearing feeling, should you still have feelings for her.

lastly, you should let it take time and not rush into getting back into talking with her. you both need a bit of a break from each other. after that, see if you want to get back in touch, or if she gets in touch with you.

[zenby]

I feel really out of the loop with my friends; it's like they all know what's going on in each other's lives continuously and I only get occasional little glimpses

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44718871]its not that necessary for you to talk to her really. You can't really do anything anyway. Just wait for when you get together again, dont risk getting friendzoned[/QUOTE]
there is no such thing as a friend zone

you're either a friend or you're not

unless you're just trying to get some ass then stop acting like you actually want a relationship with them

[NO ONE]

Looks like I won't be going to that bonfire after all. Weather isn't right for it. Oh well, I'll just watch a movie or something.

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44722108]I feel really out of the loop with my friends; it's like they all know what's going on in each other's lives continuously and I only get occasional little glimpses[/QUOTE]

I've felt that before. Sometimes it's just down to interests and what you do on a day to day basis. I've gone through phases with some friends where we drifted apart a bit because we were focusing on certain things heavily. Sometimes it's just hard to come up with relatable things to say even with close friends.

Not sure about the history you have with these said friends, but if anything it might be good to analyze just how similar these friends' interests and personalities are to yours. It could be a case of them being bad matches.

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;44703930]what the fuck is going on.

I moved to new country and got in a school August 2013, and there is a girl that I like, and which at first(before January 2014) was answering back emotionally(kind of, she always was smiling when talking to me and similar stuff), then after I asked her out and she said she's busy, the Christmas half-term has passed and she made a complete U-turn and started to ignore me however she can.

Guess what, on wednesday she started to talk to me again and today we have talked for couple of minutes(1 on 1) during a lesson(art lessons are loud and everyone's talking about their own things) about the artworks and stuff and she basically returned to that state of being friendly and smiling all the time and while we were talking we both just kept smiling and laughing(periodcially).

A question: why the fuck in time range of 5-months a girl made a total emotional U-turn against me and then made it again and now is friendly like nothing has ever happened. [B]WHY[/B]

[I]Also I cannot help myself but answer her back and try to talk to her when I can.[/I][/QUOTE]

On tuesday I'll be back in school, so what do you think is the best way to handle this? I think just keep on with what I have, occasional talks during art lessons(cause that's the only time we can talk, except the lunchtime which is not an option for my awkwardness because I can't say shit most of the time because there are more than her are going on lunch and they talk about their stuff and I'm just there silent) and then later on we'll see.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;44722277]there is no such thing as a friend zone

you're either a friend or you're not

unless you're just trying to get some ass then stop acting like you actually want a relationship with them[/QUOTE]

the friend zone is a form of attacking a girl's right to say no

[Inspector Jones]

That feeling when a first date goes well; hmmmmmm, that's a good high. Usually I post here in self-pity but last night was awesomely amazing. I think she felt the same way too.

I ended up getting a speeding ticket on the way home too; and I wasn't even phased cause endorphins or some shit.

[NO ONE]

Ex decided to text me an old pic of us today. Doesn't mean an awful lot, and the conversation didn't last long, but at least I can feel somewhat content. Content in thinking she still thinks of me as a friend, or at least enjoyed our time together, however weird the current situation might be.

[Protocol7]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;44722277]there is no such thing as a friend zone

you're either a friend or you're not

unless you're just trying to get some ass then stop acting like you actually want a relationship with them[/QUOTE]

My favorite part about the "friendzone" is that my girlfriend and I were friends for 4 months before we started dating. It (being the concept of the frienzone) is such bullshit, lol. I'd argue sometimes a friendship is a great way to start a relationship because you jump in knowing that much more about each other.

[Meller Yeller]

Girlfriend wants to get a tattoo and I think that I'm really gonna dislike it. We've been together quite a while and I see this relationship going a long time, so I feel like I'm really gonna miss seeing her body the way I've always loved it.
I just told her, honestly, that I didn't really like the idea but it's her body and I'll love her the same either way. Is that the best approach? Or would I be too pushy saying anything else?

[NoDachi]

Looks like you've said everything needed already.

Its not your choice at the end of the day

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;44740895]Girlfriend wants to get a tattoo and I think that I'm really gonna dislike it. We've been together quite a while and I see this relationship going a long time, so I feel like I'm really gonna miss seeing her body the way I've always loved it.
I just told her, honestly, that I didn't really like the idea but it's her body and I'll love her the same either way. Is that the best approach? Or would I be too pushy saying anything else?[/QUOTE]

About the same situation with my bf. I 100% intend to get a tattoo (when I have money again : c)
He isn't really fond of any permanent body modification, and he has been clear on that (Also dislikes most of my piecing ideas haha) . I intend to involve him to some extent in the design process to make it a little bit to his liking, but its a permanent thing going on my body. So it is ultimately up to me.

Likewise it's up to her how much she might involve you or if she gets it in the end. You've been clear your not fond of the idea the rest is up to her.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;44740895]Girlfriend wants to get a tattoo and I think that I'm really gonna dislike it. We've been together quite a while and I see this relationship going a long time, so I feel like I'm really gonna miss seeing her body the way I've always loved it.
I just told her, honestly, that I didn't really like the idea but it's her body and I'll love her the same either way. Is that the best approach? Or would I be too pushy saying anything else?[/QUOTE]

My advice to her is to hold on to her idea for a few months and see if she still wants it later.

It doesn't have to be a huge tattoo, and her first one probably won't. A huge, intricate one costs a lot of money. I wouldn't worry about it ruining her appearance for you too much.

[Fire Kracker]

this is unrelated to everything but

i've noticed something in a lot of people and couples i've been around recently

a lot of people want a romantic relationship to fill a hole with in themselves, but where does that leave the other person? and if two people are both trying to fill each other holes(lol) how are they going to fill it if they have nothing to give? it's really selfish in the end.

in the end i think people should focus less of trying to find the [I]one[/I] and trying to find themselves instead.

a lot of people i know dedicate so much time into trying to find the one and when i ask them who they are they just say "I don't know yet"

this applies to friends too, a lot of people want to find friends just to have friends, to not be lonely but if you know yourself and your own interests, friends will come to you

it's really self destructive

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;44743612]this is unrelated to everything but

i've noticed something in a lot of people and couples i've been around recently

a lot of people want a romantic relationship to fill a hole with in themselves, but where does that leave the other person? and if two people are both trying to fill each other holes(lol) how are they going to fill it if they have nothing to give? it's really selfish in the end.

in the end i think people should focus less of trying to find the [I]one[/I] and trying to find themselves instead.

a lot of people i know dedicate so much time into trying to find the one and when i ask them who they are they just say "I don't know yet"

this applies to friends too, a lot of people want to find friends just to have friends, to not be lonely but if you know yourself and your own interests, friends will come to you

it's really self destructive[/QUOTE]

You also learn a lot about yourself by being with another person though, and change through it.
There really is no such thing as "finding yourself" since truly you should always be changing and improving based on your experiences

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;44743631]You also learn a lot about yourself by being with another person though, and change through it.
There really is no such thing as "finding yourself" since truly you should always be changing and improving based on your experiences[/QUOTE]

i'm not saying a relationship is a bad way to find yourself

but you shouldn't look to someone to simply sate your loneliness, or to fill any holes, those should be sorted out before you try to stuff them into that hole

i know that no one truly finds themselves, otherwise there wouldn't be so few buddha's but you should have a pretty good idea on who you are without somebody else to judge who you are before you truly try to find someone to be in a relationship with

otherwise you're not really being honest with them

[editline]7th May 2014[/editline]

the butt hole

[chinatown]

So what type of hole should i be filling?

Its true, i know some people that just "need" to be in a relationship. What they could learn is to besingle for a while.
from one case in particular, this guy would be so controlling, getting angry because the girl spoke to another guy on facebook or whatever.
Its true that you do learn more about yourself when youre with someone, but then you also learn when youre single. And with any other experience in life.

[paindoc]

So it seems I had poor timing on my latest little bit of drama.

I wasn't planning on going to Prom. I tried to fool myself and say I didn't want to go, but I wanted to go. I just had no one to go with. Turns out however a girl was interested in going with me, so I asked her and she gladly accepted. I was nervous about her getting the wrong impression though so when she seemed to lean in for a hug after asking I kinda tried to evade (that was an asinine thing to do anyways, I really regret that).

Prom got closer and we started talking a bit more with her being friendlier and friendlier. I start thinking maybe this girl is better than I thought she was. Previously, I just hadn't really noticed her or her personality and for the first time I did. Maybe I could be more than just friends after all. Prom rolls around and I have the best night of my life so far. She thanks me several times for taking her, seems to be having a grand time and leans into me when I lock arms with her to and from the dance proper. The night ended with me quietly dropping her off at her house and heading home to bed for well needed rest. And me having to realize I had been blind to a splendid woman for ages. All those times in the past year she had spent extra time talking to me, standing closer to me than needed, walking with me to my car in the corner of the parking lot, or when she seemed to lean in for the hug after asking her to prom all snapped together. I thought I might just really like this girl. I wasn't trying to turn her down, but after years of looking too deep into tiny things I flipped the other way and missed the accumulation of tiny things meaning something I believe.

Next few days, she stops responding to my texts like she used to (lack of enthusiasm, no smiley faces, hours between responses). In school she hardly talks to me and stops waving to me in the halls. Completely different person than the one I met right before and at Prom.

Whoops. I done fucked up. I became interested in her right as her own interest faded. And now I'm doing my best not to be overbearing or the "poor me" type and wait it out while I get over it, suck it up, and move on. But I'm worried that I hurt her feelings, or that I'm misinterpreting her intentions. I really just don't want to hurt her in anyways, and I'm curious on the best way to do that without making things awkward or forced. I'm perfectly content being nothing but friends at this point, but don't want to miss a chance if there is one.

For real though, nothing but friends is cool with me

[editline]7th May 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44743850]So what type of hole should i be filling?

Its true, i know some people that just "need" to be in a relationship. What they could learn is to besingle for a while.
from one case in particular, this guy would be so controlling, getting angry because the girl spoke to another guy on facebook or whatever.
Its true that you do learn more about yourself when youre with someone, but then you also learn when youre single. And with any other experience in life.[/QUOTE]

you have to be actually willing to learn though, thats the most important part

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=paindoc;44750635]So it seems I had poor timing on my latest little bit of drama.

I wasn't planning on going to Prom. I tried to fool myself and say I didn't want to go, but I wanted to go. I just had no one to go with. Turns out however a girl was interested in going with me, so I asked her and she gladly accepted. I was nervous about her getting the wrong impression though so when she seemed to lean in for a hug after asking I kinda tried to evade (that was an asinine thing to do anyways, I really regret that).

Prom got closer and we started talking a bit more with her being friendlier and friendlier. I start thinking maybe this girl is better than I thought she was. Previously, I just hadn't really noticed her or her personality and for the first time I did. Maybe I could be more than just friends after all. Prom rolls around and I have the best night of my life so far. She thanks me several times for taking her, seems to be having a grand time and leans into me when I lock arms with her to and from the dance proper. The night ended with me quietly dropping her off at her house and heading home to bed for well needed rest. And me having to realize I had been blind to a splendid woman for ages. All those times in the past year she had spent extra time talking to me, standing closer to me than needed, walking with me to my car in the corner of the parking lot, or when she seemed to lean in for the hug after asking her to prom all snapped together. I thought I might just really like this girl. I wasn't trying to turn her down, but after years of looking too deep into tiny things I flipped the other way and missed the accumulation of tiny things meaning something I believe.

Next few days, she stops responding to my texts like she used to (lack of enthusiasm, no smiley faces, hours between responses). In school she hardly talks to me and stops waving to me in the halls. Completely different person than the one I met right before and at Prom.

Whoops. I done fucked up. I became interested in her right as her own interest faded. And now I'm doing my best not to be overbearing or the "poor me" type and wait it out while I get over it, suck it up, and move on. But I'm worried that I hurt her feelings, or that I'm misinterpreting her intentions. I really just don't want to hurt her in anyways, and I'm curious on the best way to do that without making things awkward or forced. I'm perfectly content being nothing but friends at this point, but don't want to miss a chance if there is one.

For real though, nothing but friends is cool with me

[editline]7th May 2014[/editline]

you have to be actually willing to learn though, thats the most important part[/QUOTE]

I dont see why you couldnt ask her out proper now? If your thinking she gave up , it doesn't mean she will say no if you initiate instead.

[paindoc]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;44750762]I dont see why you couldnt ask her out proper now? If your thinking she gave up , it doesn't mean she will say no if you initiate instead.[/QUOTE]

That is an option. Problem is she is gone all weekend and friday helping out a youth camp I believe, so I'm struggling to think of a way to maintain casual contact with her acting so weird about texts and such.

I don't want to push too hard either

[chinatown]

WEll i dunno if I missed some paragraph but i dont really see why she'd turn cold for you after prom. Did you do anything after that? Or was it your inaction that made her that way?

[ColdWave]

Not gonna lie, this could turn into a bit of a rant or something:

Now I'm a Junior in HS and this is probably going to sound like something really fucking stupid ripped from a "typical HS situations and drama" book or some shit. But right now there is this one girl in my life who has been giving me some trouble. Not like real horrible trouble, and not really trouble in general. It's more like I'm between a rock and a hard place. This girl hangs around with me constantly or at least seems to try to, at first I barely knew her. Now she talks to me like its no big deal at all. Around others however she can be very awkward and a bit weird, but with me shes just not awkward. Now I honestly don't know if she just hangs around with me because she feels sort of comfortable or what. It is apparent that she has other friends and such away from me though and does from what I can see hang out with them sometimes. The rock or the hard place, take your pick, comes from the fact that most of my other friends hate this girl and I don't really mind her whatsoever I consider her a friend at this point TBH. Two problems arise here. #1. I don't know why she tends to gravitate towards me as I don't see myself as anything worth liking and I don't really know how to tell if she has a thing for me or if she just feels comfortable talking to me. Honestly I don't know if I would want a relationship with this girl or not #2. I don't want to tell her to get lost or tell my friends to shut the fuck up and deal with it. I don't want to take sides I guess is what I'm saying.

Anyone able to give some input here? What to do or what not to do?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=ColdWave;44758064]Not gonna lie, this could turn into a bit of a rant or something:

Now I'm a Junior in HS and this is probably going to sound like something really fucking stupid ripped from a "typical HS situations and drama" book or some shit. But right now there is this one girl in my life who has been giving me some trouble. Not like real horrible trouble, and not really trouble in general. It's more like I'm between a rock and a hard place. This girl hangs around with me constantly or at least seems to try to, at first I barely knew her. Now she talks to me like its no big deal at all. Around others however she can be very awkward and a bit weird, but with me shes just not awkward. Now I honestly don't know if she just hangs around with me because she feels sort of comfortable or what. It is apparent that she has other friends and such away from me though and does from what I can see hang out with them sometimes. The rock or the hard place, take your pick, comes from the fact that most of my other friends hate this girl and I don't really mind her whatsoever I consider her a friend at this point TBH. Two problems arise here. #1. I don't know why she tends to gravitate towards me as I don't see myself as anything worth liking and I don't really know how to tell if she has a thing for me or if she just feels comfortable talking to me. Honestly I don't know if I would want a relationship with this girl or not #2. I don't want to tell her to get lost or tell my friends to shut the fuck up and deal with it. I don't want to take sides I guess is what I'm saying.

Anyone able to give some input here? What to do or what not to do?[/QUOTE]

I won't say too much about your specific situation, we can't read minds of some random girl but

Speaking as someone who definitely would have been described as a weirdo awkward girl for most of school, and having an extensive friend list of the same? It could just be that she likes hanging out with you for this very reason:

[quote]comes from the fact that most of my other friends hate this girl and I don't really mind her whatsoever I consider her a friend at this point TBH[/quote]

If you stick out in high school as an awkward one it can be hard to get friends who are willing to hang out with you (particularly who arn't total weirdos themselves, since fellow weirdos are usually a bit on the outside already they don't have that friend pressure your seeing)

I wouldn't worry about it too much, just do whatever you want. If you wanna be friends then hang out and be friends, it doesn't have to be around your other friends (and they can, at least in my opinion suck it) they don't have any particular right to dictate who else you can hang out with. If you decide you wanna date her then ask her out, or not if you don't.

Doesn't seem like that much of a conflict to me, but then having multiple friend groups who didn't like each other was standard fare for me throughout school haha

[paindoc]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44757546]WEll i dunno if I missed some paragraph but i dont really see why she'd turn cold for you after prom. Did you do anything after that? Or was it your inaction that made her that way?[/QUOTE]

No clue. I am utterly mystified. She seemed super relaxed and fine around me but she is just acting different.

I have no idea, and I'm not going to be pushy. If she is still interested in me I'll let her show it, I'll just continue being me and treat her kindly like I always have.

[Squidman]

Spent yesterday at a mate's house with one of his close female friends. Went in expecting to have a few beers, talk about the philosophical implications of our pre-reflective understanding of the world, and maybe play some drunk souls, but life is never that simple, is it? Allow me to explain.

Night started off pretty tame with my friend (let's call him Max) lamenting his virginity in a baffling and ultimately unsuccessful attempt to get his close friend to maybe sleep with him. I pretended to empathize and mostly drank beer. His female friend (let's call her Julia) ignored him for the most part and complained that she was going to be living with a bunch of hot foreign exchange students that were going to outshine her or whatever. She has a boyfriend, which I wanted to bring up because I felt it was odd considering that she was complaining about her roommates possibly growing more of a penis crop than she, but I opted for pretending to empathize and drinking more beer.

Max unsurprisingly was immensely curious about her living situation and coerced her into pulling up pictures of her roommates. They were good looking people, and Max started crowing how he'd be able to fuck them next year. I silently disagreed considering his poor track record for sex in general, and changed the subject by casually (in this company, this was considered casual) mentioning that one of her future roommates looked similar to a pornstar (Belle Knox) that goes to a school near mine. Julia said it couldn't be the same person because Belle Knox has self harm scars on her upper thighs (???).

I had seen some of Belle Knox's work, but couldn't remember the scars, and neither could Max. He called bullshit on the scars, although I believed it (she went through some shit when outed as a pornstar) so Julia took the liberty of pulling up porn in order to make her case. Sure enough, those scars were there. By this point we were all rather inebriated and I can't honestly say I remember where the conversation went (the porn stayed on), but somehow it descended upon the topic of acne scars. I (again casually) brought up that I had an impressive array of such scars on my back, and suddenly Julia became completely fixated on that. Being drunk and generally not caring, I whipped off my shirt and showed her my acne scars (not actually impressive), but she turned out to be more interested in my muscular assets and started giving me uncomfortably suggestive compliments.

During all this Max was glowering in between downing a mixture of vodka and Sunny D at this sudden dashing of his non-virginal dreams. I put my shirt on soon after but still I was caught in her gaze (as Sartre would say) and became acutely aware of the terrible position I had been thrust into. I (casually of course) brought up her boyfriend time and time again, but to no avail. I was in imminent danger of not being able to progress in Dark Souls because I knew, deep down inside, that I didn't care enough to avoid fucking her which would have taken time.

I was perhaps minutes from putting my estus flask into her abyss when our conversation was interrupted by a sound akin to giblets being thrown from a bucket; Max had reached his limit and had vomited macaroni and cheese down the front of his shirt. That combined with his bastardized orange blossom mix of vodka and Sunny D made for an orange waterfall down his shirt and onto the floor. Accompanied by sound and visual came a horrid eldritch stench; I decided to finish my beer to help deaden my senses further. Julia still had command of her olfactory glands; she immediately gagged and left the room to find air molecules that were untainted by vodka cheese.

Despite all that had happened and despite how I have described him, Max is still a friend and a friend in weed (?) is a friend in need. I sank down on one knee, mumbled what little I could remember of the Hippocratic Oath, and proceeded to roll him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own puke like Jimi Hendrix. I spent some time by his side assuring him that while he may still die a virgin, at least it wouldn't be this night. Eventually Julia made an appearance, but judging by the crusted vomit lining her mouth she was no longer a threat to her own relationship. I instructed her to call her boyfriend to take her home, and she complied with some reluctance.

After she left I sat by Max's side in quiet contemplation of the events that had just unfolded. This took the rest of the night because I was having trouble determining which ceiling Max was laying on (the floor ceiling apparently). So in conclusion I'm still stuck on Ornstein and Smough; I’m thinking I should try humanity.

[chinatown]

[QUOTE=paindoc;44758707]No clue. I am utterly mystified. She seemed super relaxed and fine around me but she is just acting different.

I have no idea, and I'm not going to be pushy. If she is still interested in me I'll let her show it, I'll just continue being me and treat her kindly like I always have.[/QUOTE]

Well then considering that you didnt do anything maybe that was the problem. Maybe she was expecting you to do something with her during or after prom, and got frustrated because you didn't?

[Zar]

I have no close friends. No one to talk with tbh. and for some reason I don't care. I just wait for something to happen. kinda dull.

[editline]9th May 2014[/editline]

i need a hobby

[paindoc]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;44762488]Well then considering that you didnt do anything maybe that was the problem. Maybe she was expecting you to do something with her during or after prom, and got frustrated because you didn't?[/QUOTE]

I think I'm just going to ask her today if she wants to do something again next weekend or so, I've got everything to gain and nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out then we can just stay friends