• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
Recently the girl I like was part of a play and I was there in the small audience watchig it, an the nextfay during art I talked about it with her and another guy who didnt see it and I described how awesome the play was and how awesome she has played, and while she was lying on her arms out of toredness I put and I put a hand on her shoulder saying 'You did an awesome job! Nice job!'. She smiled as an answer. Sounds like nothing to you but for me touching new girls that I have met not ago is like something that I never do because I think I will creep them out or smething, plus I never had a lot of positive feedback from other girls anyways. :v: still felt grat seeing her cheered up. Also my bday is next tuesday so I wonder if she will or will not make a second wall before er and will go in ignore mode again. I fucking hope not.
Going out with some girls and while I'm at it meeting new ones has been great to me. I've been going on dates and all that and it has really been improving my confidence. I'm not looking for anything serious to be honest, just trying to have fun or have a simple down to earth relationship with no compromise. Although these adventures have been helping me a lot in overcoming and moving on with the fact that things between me and my 6 year love drifted apart I still feel sad sometimes. Curious thing is, I feel well, happy, I haven't been depressed or cried once since the breakup, but sometimes when I'm alone I feel sad and contemplative. I have some worries to be honest. Things between me and her became friendly once more. I think our last conversation about what happened during the festival left a clean slate between us. So that I invited her to a barbecue party I'm having at my place next week. However, I can't stop thinking about how I told her to seek me when she gets over her ex, or if she will in fact seek me out, or even stop seeing me as just a friend after our little experience. Who knows, right? I feel kind of contradictory to myself. On one hand, I'm being able to move on and date other women. On the other hand, sometimes I find my thoughts stuck on her again. For now I can remain friends because of my understanding on her delicate situation, but still I don't think I'll be able to see her as just a friend forever. My biggest worry now is to see her again because I don't think I'm ok with seeing her here next week. I'm afraid it will somehow ruin my "moving on" process. However, it would be rude to uninvite her, so I'm kinda rooting for her not being able to come due to university and all. I think both of us need some time apart because honestly right now things just won't work that way, that's for sure. Sometimes I find myself wondering if it was a good idea to be so understanding and in the end after all considerations taken, the answer is yes. Sometimes I also find myself thinking if it was also a good idea to throw everything on the table with her and tell her "I love you", I am certain that it is how I feel about her, I'm just not as certain if it was a good idea throwing that on the table that night. As far as she told me, she's going to do some kind of internship during the summer, so she might find a day or 2 to meet me for lunch or something like she said she would. However, after that she'll be off abroad once more. And I really don't know when will I see her again. I'm also thinking about moving someplace else, just to get away from all of it and start fresh somewhere but I intend to come back. I find myself thinking about how will we both react when we meet ourselves again after that. If things will be as before or if we're going to meet eachother in a more grown up way and if things will work out. I don't know. At the moment I feel sad because although I feel at peace and with enough closure to move on I miss her. I miss her so much.
Squidman writes like a young Dave Eggers.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44741030]About the same situation with my bf. I 100% intend to get a tattoo (when I have money again : c) He isn't really fond of any permanent body modification, and he has been clear on that (Also dislikes most of my piecing ideas haha) . I intend to involve him to some extent in the design process to make it a little bit to his liking, but its a permanent thing going on my body. So it is ultimately up to me. Likewise it's up to her how much she might involve you or if she gets it in the end. You've been clear your not fond of the idea the rest is up to her.[/QUOTE] ubeer late, but if she still hasent got the tattoo, have her ask the artist if they can do it in henna first so if she ends up not liking it the henna is not pernament
[QUOTE=kafurie;44769426]ubeer late, but if she still hasent got the tattoo, have her ask the artist if they can do it in henna first so if she ends up not liking it the henna is not pernament[/QUOTE] Thats a pretty neat idea, although a lot of tattoo artists wouldn't necessarily be experienced in henna, and of course that only works for solid single colour tattoos. Neat idea though if you could get it done
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44770029]Thats a pretty neat idea, although a lot of tattoo artists wouldn't necessarily be experienced in henna, and of course that only works for solid single colour tattoos. Neat idea though if you could get it done[/QUOTE] yea, my friend did that, but he didnt know what color he wanted it in......... we got some sharpies
Ok so last night I texted my ex-turned-friend-turned-ex-friend (one I been posting about) telling her no matter how weird things have become, I still see her as a friend. To my surprise she apparently has decided she's ok with talking again. Had a some small talk last night and then this morning while at work she texts me again, also mostly small talk. She did text me while I was kinda in the middle of thinking of her too, which has happened before, so I kind of got excited. I know at this point I'm kinda clinging on to her in my mind, but I at least feel comfortable about the idea of starting to date other girls again. I figure I can go either way with my ex at this point. If we stay friends, whatever, but if we get back together, I'll certainly be happy. But I can see why SO MANY people usual say run when it comes to friendship after a relationship. It becomes hard to control your emotions if you don't keep things in check. I still want to distance myself from her a little bit, because I came to realize I really did involve her in my life quite a lot. If I don't treat her like I did when we were together, I think the friendship will work out better than it did before.
i'm having trouble getting with people alone just so i can talk to them... kinda sucks. [editline]11th May 2014[/editline] ok im talking girls. they're too busy with dancing to hairspray songs.
My friends are always going to do things with each other and I never hear about these things until the next day or when I try to make plans with them. Whenever a new movie comes out that I want to see, the next day at lunch a few of my friends talk to each other about how they're going to see it that night. They're talking to each other about it while I'm with them but they never acknowledge me in the conversation, so I'd feel weird if I suddenly joined in and said "Hey, can I come with you?" because it always seems like something they'd already been planning it for a while and I'd be third-wheeling, so to speak. Take tonight for example. For the past year or so my friends and I have had Boys' Nights where we all hang out and play video games and watch movies, but we haven't had any in like a month and a half, even though it's usually a weekly thing. So today I posted in our Facebook group asking if anyone was up to having one at my place, and then like three of my friends said they were busy and one said that everyone's going to see a school play in a different town. It frustrates me that I never hear about these things until the last second, and even when I do hear about them I can't really join in on it without looking and feeling pathetic. I told my best friend about it a while ago and he just said that it's because I never try to make plans with him, but he's usually the one to make the plans and whenever I [I]do[/I] try to make plans he's already busy. I feel like my friends are leaving me out of everything and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it without looking like a little bitch
Id say you should just ask them if you can join. It may seem like a bit awkward, but its a start. I mean, firstly if theyre not asking you to join them, then its probably something related to you. I dont know how you are as a person so thats something you have to figure out yourself. Secondly, stop seeing other peoples excuses to not do something with you as an offensive thing. Sure, maybe hes busy, or maybe hes just lying because he doesnt want to hang out with you. If thats the case, the thing goes back to what I just said. If you do think youre ok as a person maybe its your friends then, who knows. If so, dont depend on just a couple of people to hang out, go find more people.
I got back together with my ex today, we ended it before because we were bored, and what we had was more like a good friendship. But we were still friends, I mean we always just connect on things, and we get along great. We didn't talk at all after the initial breakup and once we began hanging out again I found out that she had a boyfriend, I didn't care at all but apparently the guy was an asshole to her constantly. Fast forwarding a week later we're both with some friends hanging out and swimming and I leave, she talked to my friend about me while I was gone and she decided to break it off with her boyfriend the same night, as far as she said he didn't care. So I asked her if she wanted to start things up again a day later, I'll admit though I feel like I dicked over her boyfriend nonetheless The reason i'm posting here however is because she's said/done things that have set off alarms for me, and i'd like some advice: 1. She's never open with me, I don't pry but she never wants to talk about anything that bothers her, making it hard to talk to her about certain things because I never know what may or may not changer her mood for the worst. 2. While we were hanging out (pre getting back together) she said she'd rather I don't go chat her up at school around her friends because it'd be awkward since i'm her ex (this set off huge bells, I thought that was serious bull crap, but since I can't get an answer about it i'm assuming it's just because of her friends would have given her a hard time.)
So I'm back in the scene going out and all. I've met this girl in a town nearby and she's real cool. We've been going out and all that and today we were so bored we decided to go out and do something. Also she had never gone to my city so we were suppose to go there. Well, things took a cool turn of events. We meet and she's like "I completely forgot but I'm getting baptized at the end of the month and all that so I'm gonna need to go to church today" and I'm like yeah sure why not, let's go to church! So it was still an hour till then, we decided to go up to the castle because there's a great view from there and we smoked a joint together, talked about life and all. We went to church and then went for snails and ice cream. (Yes, snails. They are delicious. Deal with it). All in all it was a cool day.
slapped on the ass 3 times last night by random girls passing by plus this insane woman grabbed it really fucking hard seriously i dont get it, i mean i guess it's firm but people are drawn to my ass like it has some kind of magnetic pull. i guess i have a charming butt
I was at a cross country invitational meet in Missoula Montana previewing the course before the actual race in the morning when some random girl said "DAMN!" and slapped my ass as I ran by. I felt uncomfortable D: [editline]Edit[/editline] grew a pair and called girl up with intent to casually talk about mothers day and segue into asking her on a second date. Had shit planned out, felt good, and actually managed to call her (big progress for me, haha) she didn't pickup :v:
probably because you were talking out of your ass
I'm so confused on what to do right now, my girlfriend told me it hurts her just for me to say I love you to her, anything I do or anything anyone else does hurts her. How do you love someone when it just hurts them? [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] Also I'm retarded, I posted in the wrong thread.
Well I straightened everything out with my friend, messages apparently got stuck in the matrix. I've agreed to ask her through Facebook next time so if it does occur I at least know something has gone wrong. I'm so relieved.
[QUOTE=Zerokateo;44790329]I'm so confused on what to do right now, my girlfriend told me it hurts her just for me to say I love you to her, anything I do or anything anyone else does hurts her. How do you love someone when it just hurts them? [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] Also I'm retarded, I posted in the wrong thread.[/QUOTE] It's not the wrong thread. Sex gf's and shit is basically people venting about life with their waifus and kinky sex positions. Feelings are irrelevant. So please stay. How long have you two been together? "I love you" is a serious statement and it shouldn't be something to say lightly. Some people might not be ready to hear it if they are still in the process of getting comfortable in the relationship. But how should I put it, you should really talk to her about how you feel, about what you want in this relationship you're having and especially what you [B]don't want[/B]. The latter being the most important. It's very important for couples not to be afraid of facing their problems instead of waiting for them to pass. It shows maturity and it makes the relationship more respectable for both parts. I don't think that's right. I mean, if you feel that way she should be more considerate about it, and be honest with you to at least tell you, or not being afraid to tell you that she can't still see you that way. You should talk to her and make her realize that it hurts you when you don't feel corresponded when you say "I love you". Also maybe you shouldn't say it as often as you do at this point, or maybe not at all. Otherwise it will just be something of a hit and miss and you wind up putting too much pressure on her. But let's not over analyze. First things first. Talk to her about how you feel, ask her about what she feels, tell her what you want and don't want or like and hear her out about what she wants and doesn't want, evaluate the situation. Weight the pros and cons and make a decision.
[QUOTE=Zerokateo;44790329]I'm so confused on what to do right now, my girlfriend told me it hurts her just for me to say I love you to her, anything I do or anything anyone else does hurts her. How do you love someone when it just hurts them? [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] Also I'm retarded, I posted in the wrong thread.[/QUOTE] I can't think of any advice for this other than to ask her what she wants from you. Since thats a pretty clear major issue
I used to have those problems in past relationships and seriously I would just let it go and forget about it until I'd do or say something that would make the other person back off. Always ignored it, never openly talked because I was afraid to know the truth. At a certain point they would just end. Now whenever I feel I'm not being corresponded the same way I can hear the alarms in my head.
Just want to share something, thought maybe you guys are interested. So, I'm 25 and I never had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship. I managed to befriend some girls a while ago (like 2 years back). Never had anything withm them either, although I did have a massive crush on one of them. Nothing happened, although I gained a friend for life, which is nice too. Fast forward to two months ago. One of my girls tells me that she has a date for me. I figured, what the hell, can't be that bad. We have a huge party every two months, where people dance and drink. That's where I first saw her and holy fuck, she's damn cute. We got on quite good and danced the whole night. Stupid as I was, I didn't get her phone number. Normally that would be it for me, but somehow I managed to build up the courage to look her up on Facebook and send her a message. Amazingly I somehow managed to get her number through that! Since then, we often chatted and even got a few more dates (hint guys, a tapas bar is amazing for a date. You get to order all kind of small plates and can swap them out and have something really fun to talk about). Last saturday the same party took place again. Asked her out and in the end she slept over at my place. No sex, but I didn't really care, I was to amazed that she actually came home with me. Today I can say I have a girlfriend. I feel excited, scared, happy, confused, quirky and all kind of different things right now. It's awesome. I don't really need any advice right now, just wanted to tell someone. We agreed not to make it official yet, but that's only a matter of time. I think it's also her first relationship, so we take it as it comes.
No sex but you have a girlfriend? Maybe girl-friend, but intimacy is part of a relationship, no matter how infrequent.
[QUOTE=NO ONE;44793463]No sex but you have a girlfriend? Maybe girl-friend, but intimacy is part of a relationship, no matter how infrequent.[/QUOTE] Dude they just got together. You don't need to sex the second you call yourself together to solidify the relationship or some shit.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;44793491]Dude they just got together. You don't need to sex the second you call yourself together to solidify the relationship or some shit.[/QUOTE] This is true. I suppose the only other thing is to try and avoid thinking immediately that a girl is your girlfriend just because they really like you and want to continue seeing you indefinitely. Happened to me a few times before, where just because I used the label, the girl was uncomfortable, regardless of how much she liked me at the time. [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] I know he said it's not official yet, and from the sounds of it, things are good, I'm just cautioning from rushing to use certain labels. [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] Calling a girl yours is sometimes a bigger deal than we realize, that's all. Even if it's only a week or two later that they definitely want to be your girlfriend, when you rush things it causes pressure.
Was going to talk to her before she left school today, had more than just the important question to ask Said she had been gone all day. Asked if it was alright we talked now. Nope, now is a horrible time they're putting their dog down. I apologized and said I hope the rest of her day is better fuck. my. timing. :suicide:
[QUOTE=NO ONE;44793463]No sex but you have a girlfriend? Maybe girl-friend, but intimacy is part of a relationship, no matter how infrequent.[/QUOTE] I didn't say there isn't any intimacy, just not sex yet. Maybe I worded that wrong.
[QUOTE=NO ONE;44793530]This is true. I suppose the only other thing is to try and avoid thinking immediately that a girl is your girlfriend just because they really like you and want to continue seeing you indefinitely. Happened to me a few times before, where just because I used the label, the girl was uncomfortable, regardless of how much she liked me at the time. [editline]12th May 2014[/editline] I know he said it's not official yet, and from the sounds of it, things are good, I'm just cautioning from rushing to use certain labels.[/QUOTE] Sex isn't the defining factor in the legitimacy of a relationship. What matters is if they're both on the same page about their situation.
[QUOTE=NO ONE;44793463]No sex but you have a girlfriend? Maybe girl-friend, but intimacy is part of a relationship, no matter how infrequent.[/QUOTE] I know a couple who I'm friends with and they only started to have sex like 4 months in the relationship. Some people like to take it slow, and it's very healthy to do so. I don't know why people nowadays jump right on to sex. Like it's a banner you stick in it to secure your domain and legitimacy over the relationship. I believe it's much more romantic to offer to each other bit by bit. Having something intimately new from the other person from time to time is pretty exciting.
[QUOTE=rosthouse;44793220]Just want to share something, thought maybe you guys are interested. So, I'm 25 and I never had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship. I managed to befriend some girls a while ago (like 2 years back). Never had anything withm them either, although I did have a massive crush on one of them. Nothing happened, although I gained a friend for life, which is nice too. Fast forward to two months ago. One of my girls tells me that she has a date for me. I figured, what the hell, can't be that bad. We have a huge party every two months, where people dance and drink. That's where I first saw her and holy fuck, she's damn cute. We got on quite good and danced the whole night. Stupid as I was, I didn't get her phone number. Normally that would be it for me, but somehow I managed to build up the courage to look her up on Facebook and send her a message. Amazingly I somehow managed to get her number through that! Since then, we often chatted and even got a few more dates (hint guys, a tapas bar is amazing for a date. You get to order all kind of small plates and can swap them out and have something really fun to talk about). Last saturday the same party took place again. Asked her out and in the end she slept over at my place. No sex, but I didn't really care, I was to amazed that she actually came home with me. Today I can say I have a girlfriend. I feel excited, scared, happy, confused, quirky and all kind of different things right now. It's awesome. I don't really need any advice right now, just wanted to tell someone. We agreed not to make it official yet, but that's only a matter of time. I think it's also her first relationship, so we take it as it comes.[/QUOTE] This is what I wish for myself. You are a very lucky man :smile: enjoy the time man.
[QUOTE=Darkslicer;44796812]This is what I wish for myself. You are a very lucky man :smile: enjoy the time man.[/QUOTE] Thanks, greatly appreciated :)
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