Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[RocketRacer]

This is the most underwhelming and most boring birthday I've had so far. Well that's what you get for coming in a new community - barely anyone cares. Especially bad is that even when I told a girl I like that it's my bday she didn't congratulate or even react. Yeah great.

[Technopath]

Here's the deal, two weeks ago I moved rooms (I rent a room since I finished college just a year ago and don't make enough money to buy a house yet, I'm not too fond of trusting banks for financial support either).

At the new place there was this girl (or woman I guess), hell I got attracted to her as soon as I set my eyes on her, friendly overall, playful and good looking. I'm 25 going on 26 soon and she's 24. Moving on, last weekend we got pretty drunk (guess I should say she got us all drunk) at home and we went out, before we went out she asked me to call her phone and saved my number, then she saved hers on my phone with the short version of her name and a smiley in front of it, eventually we got separated from our friends and ended up alone.

We spent around 3 hours walking together, talking and holding hands, she was actually the one who held my hand and put my arm around her, drunk as I was I cared for nothing and kissed her on the cheek, she found it cute and we went on. 1 hour later the alcohol was really hitting me hard and I did it again, this time she said I was getting out of line, when I asked her why... she said she was dating someone (some 40 year old pilot who owns 4 cars, because I needed to know I couldn't compete financially with this guy) and she couldn't be with me.

I wasn't gonna give up just yet so I asked her if it was my looks that she didn't like, she said she didn't dislike anything in me but because she was seeing someone else she just wanted to remain friends and was sorry that I got the wrong message. I asked her if she was being bothered by my arm around her and she said it was fine until I got slightly sober.

After finding our friends in the most crazy situations because everybody was really really drunk, we eventually ended up at home and we each went to our rooms.

I only managed to sleep 5 hours and got up with a massive hangover, started cleaning the mess we made in the living room and kitchen the day before and spent all Sunday doing nothing in general. 8 PM and she still hasn't left her room, so I knock and ask for her, she comes out and tells me the other guy broke up with her that morning [reason: "I'm too busy with work and don't have time for you"] and she spent all day in her room crying (besides the hangover she also had).

All of this just to ask you guys one question - Normally I wouldn't give much thought to a girl who has rejected me, I'd move on and be done with it. But this situation is different, she didn't reject me because she didn't like my looks or my personality, she rejected me because she was already dating someone else, and that was over the day after the night I tried my luck with her. Should I keep working on it? 3 days have passed and she has been mostly in a bad mood (she's still friendly towards me though), gets home from work, eats dinner and goes to her room (understandable as she just had a break up). I'm thinking of giving her some time, but I'm not sure how much time exactly.

tl;dr - Met nice girl, tried my luck with her while we were really drunk, she rejected me because she was seeing someone else, guy breaks up with her the morning after, now she's in a bad mood and I don't know if I should keep trying or how long I should wait.

EDIT: Ratings don't help :(

[Zerokateo]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44792376]It's not the wrong thread. Sex gf's and shit is basically people venting about life with their waifus and kinky sex positions. Feelings are irrelevant.

So please stay.

How long have you two been together?

"I love you" is a serious statement and it shouldn't be something to say lightly. Some people might not be ready to hear it if they are still in the process of getting comfortable in the relationship.

But how should I put it, you should really talk to her about how you feel, about what you want in this relationship you're having and especially what you [B]don't want[/B]. The latter being the most important. It's very important for couples not to be afraid of facing their problems instead of waiting for them to pass. It shows maturity and it makes the relationship more respectable for both parts.

I don't think that's right. I mean, if you feel that way she should be more considerate about it, and be honest with you to at least tell you, or not being afraid to tell you that she can't still see you that way. You should talk to her and make her realize that it hurts you when you don't feel corresponded when you say "I love you". Also maybe you shouldn't say it as often as you do at this point, or maybe not at all. Otherwise it will just be something of a hit and miss and you wind up putting too much pressure on her.

But let's not over analyze. First things first. Talk to her about how you feel, ask her about what she feels, tell her what you want and don't want or like and hear her out about what she wants and doesn't want, evaluate the situation. Weight the pros and cons and make a decision.[/QUOTE]

We've been together 11 months and we talked it out and she explained it better so I think we're okay on that, but last night we fought because I decided to be an idiot and start assuming shit. Basically she was talking about learning how to fight and become more tolerant to pain, I told her that's not something to even worry about when you're fighting and I turned it into a huge cluster fuck from there. And now I feel like shit, which I should.

[Behemoth_PT]

Wait what? why were you fighting about fighting? What did you assume?

[Big Dumb Patriot]

I've decided to finish out my associates degree here in Saint Louis instead of going right to Florida, which has been a REALLY hard decision, because I hate this city more than genocide. Every time I see the Arch, I'm reminded that it was originally a celebration of LEAVING this god forsaken city, and find myself fantasizing about dumping a canoe in the river and beginning the long trip West, like Lewis and Clark. But I've decided to stay for one more year, because things are going so well with my girlfriend and my job (just got a five hundred dollar per month raise!) that it's worth enduring just a while longer.

All this means that I'm getting my own apartment again instead of living with family like I have been. My girl is moving in with me there. I'm terrifically excited, because I've never gotten far enough in a relationship before to actually consider moving in with my lady, but I'm also pretty nervous! The thought of having her there waiting for me after work every day is lovely, and I'm never bored with her, but I've got all the usual sorts of worries. What if it doesn't work out? What if she can't find a job here, or doesn't know how to be good with her money yet? What if we drive each other insane and both get arrested for attempted murder?

But most of all, more than anything, I'm worried about the Suburban Curse. I'm terrified that I'll just say, "this is alright. I can live with this," and stay here forever. There are so many things that I want to do, and that I've planned for for years, and I'm shitless that I'm actually willing to comprise and postpone them just for the sake of a relationship. I mean, get this: I want to be a sailor, but Em is so scared of drowning that she won't even go in the deep end of the pool without clutching to me like a baby monkey. Now , I'm wondering if maybe I should just go back to my original passion of architectural design, and resign myself to a fate of sailing as a future hobby instead of a lifestyle. That scares me, and even makes me angry at myself, but not as much as I feel like it should. The alternatives, even though they weren't Plan A, still sound pretty damn good, especially with Emaline.

I'm not sure! I've been a storm of emotions these past few months. It's weird how quickly and how solidly we've connected. I guess now we have at least one more year here to plan, but my plans have a funny way of evaporating just before I realize them. God, I hope I don't get stuck in Missouri.

[redBadger]

Told the friend zone fuck you and the girl i've asked out like 5 times now finally agreed.

Thing is though every time I asked her out she always had an excuse or something. However this time much have been different. We were at a dance, we danced together a bit and had some fun. Finally popped the question and she actually said yes this time.

Just have to wait a few more days to get out of uni.

[Zerokateo]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44806342]Wait what? why were you fighting about fighting? What did you assume?[/QUOTE]

It's a long story but basically I disagreed with what she said due to my personal experiences and I started going overboard with shit. I was acting like a moron cause I was in such a shit mood from work. It's better now, I honestly think I need some anger management though.

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;44796732]
I believe it's much more romantic to offer to each other bit by bit. Having something intimately new from the other person from time to time is pretty exciting.[/QUOTE]

I can confirm the legitimacy of this sentence :v:

Me and my girlfriends 2 months is coming up (which we feel more like celebrating instead of a measly 1 month), and recently she's been allowing me to go slightly further with her every time in terms of touching and stuff, and we haven't had sex yet.

I can tell you as a small example it was quite a thrill of excitement when she let me touch her breasts for the first time :smile:

[Zar]

Wow, theres a pretty nice girl who said she will only come meet up with everyone else if im there too. This is the first time im getting this sort of positive attention from a girl. Maybe im an ugly duckling turning into a swan :3

[RocketRacer]

I feel like after that girl completely ignored that i said "I got birthday today!" I've almost completely lost any positive attitude to her. Like what the fuck straight up don't react on birthday is just horrible. Why would you even do that

[editline]14th May 2014[/editline]

And later tht day grandma called me from Latvia(in UK now) and tol me "wish you to get a good girfriend"....yeah that made my mood go down even lower because currently I don't know if i should even continue or not to get to her. A thought has blonked in my mind to ask her out on friday after lessons but eh. Not so sure anymore..

[Heigou]

You should have moved on to another girl long ago in fact.

[RocketRacer]

There is no other girl. She was the only one.

:(

[Zar]

I guess she's gonna be busy repopulating the earth then

[editline]15th May 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;44814639]There is no other girl. She was the only one.

:([/QUOTE]

[Sashaisme]

Alright, I'm having some prom-related problems.
My mom is super excited because she hasn't had a daughter go to prom before and she's shelled out a decent amount of money to get me a dress and shoes and stuff. Now she's bothering me about finding a group of people to go out to eat with. It's two days before prom. I don't really have a lot of friends (a lot of acquaintances, though) and most of them either aren't doing anything special before or they already have set plans with their friends.
Idk this is the most stressful part of it so far.

[NO ONE]

Prom is like that. Everyone makes their plans down to a T months beforehand. Doesn't mean you still can't go with the flow and get something out of it.

Personally, I technically went to my Senior prom without a date (a huge sin, people told me I had balls). My friend sort of set me up with this girl to be a date of sorts, only for her to bitch at me at the last second when I put her name on the seating list and all that shit. But anyway, I ended up dancing with a few random girls, talking with friends, and then eventually dancing with a girl I asked to be my date but had one already. Even got her number and talked with her well after graduating (although I was essentially a textbuddy for like a year...I gave up on trying to do anything with her after a while).

Prom doesn't have to be perfectly planned out to be enjoyable. Yes, basically everyone makes plans like I said, but even then, a lot of the fun in prom comes from spontaneous events.

[Sashaisme]

[QUOTE=NO ONE;44815108]Prom is like that. Everyone makes their plans down to a T months beforehand. Doesn't mean you still can't go with the flow and get something out of it.

Personally, I technically went to my Senior prom without a date (a huge sin, people told me I had balls). My friend sort of set me up with this girl to be a date of sorts, only for her to bitch at me at the last second when I put her name on the seating list and all that shit. But anyway, I ended up dancing with a few random girls, talking with friends, and then eventually dancing with a girl I asked to be my date but had one already. Even got her number and talked with her well after graduating (although I was essentially a textbuddy for like a year...I gave up on trying to do anything with her after a while).

Prom doesn't have to be perfectly planned out to be enjoyable. Yes, basically everyone makes plans like I said, but even then, a lot of the fun in prom comes from spontaneous events.[/QUOTE]

It's not prom itself I'm having problems with, though. I don't have plans for anything before prom because I didn't think I would need to do much before other than get dressed.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Sashaisme;44814998]Alright, I'm having some prom-related problems.
My mom is super excited because she hasn't had a daughter go to prom before and she's shelled out a decent amount of money to get me a dress and shoes and stuff. Now she's bothering me about finding a group of people to go out to eat with. It's two days before prom. I don't really have a lot of friends (a lot of acquaintances, though) and most of them either aren't doing anything special before or they already have set plans with their friends.
Idk this is the most stressful part of it so far.[/QUOTE]

If your mum isnt too intollerable just go out for supper with her (and any other family you have around) instead. Im sure she will love it, I know mine would

Prom wasnt a huge deal in my family though, try not to fuss too much and just have a good time, its totally fair to tell her you dont want to go out with anyone before if you dont want to as well

[Zar]

aww I don't think the girls who want to come to my place are allowed to go all the way out here tonight. they live an hour away. i dunno yet though.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;44814639]There is no other girl. She was the only one.
[/QUOTE]
All is lost!

The end is nigh!

[Waffen]

Alright, figured I'd ask in here for some help and such, especially since a couple of you are in the relationships thread anyway.
About a month and a half ago a friend set me up with a girl. We went to town, had fun and stuff and decided to keep seeing each other more often and such. One weekend we decide to go to my house instead and just watch some shit and cuddle for a few hours.
It's at this point she revealed to me she was a self harmer.
So fast forward to now and my question: we both love each other, but we're waiting for her exams to be over because it'd stress her out too much and she's not in the best state mentally right now. I've decided that instead of doing it on our agreed time of "after her exams" (like a few days after her last exam I guess) that I'll save it for after our little movie date thing. We're going to see Faults in Our Stars, and since it's a romantic movie, I'll ask her to be my girlfriend after. My question is what is the best way to actually ask her out and what can we do before the movie and after? I want to make the day as great as possible

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=madnath619;44819883]Alright, figured I'd ask in here for some help and such, especially since a couple of you are in the relationships thread anyway.
About a month and a half ago a friend set me up with a girl. We went to town, had fun and stuff and decided to keep seeing each other more often and such. One weekend we decide to go to my house instead and just watch some shit and cuddle for a few hours.
It's at this point she revealed to me she was a self harmer.
So fast forward to now and my question: we both love each other, but we're waiting for her exams to be over because it'd stress her out too much and she's not in the best state mentally right now. I've decided that instead of doing it on our agreed time of "after her exams" (like a few days after her last exam I guess) that I'll save it for after our little movie date thing. We're going to see Faults in Our Stars, and since it's a romantic movie, I'll ask her to be my girlfriend after. My question is what is the best way to actually ask her out and what can we do before the movie and after? I want to make the day as great as possible[/QUOTE]

If you guys are already essentially dating its not a huge deal, theres no real best way.
Personally i'm a sucker for puns and romantic gestures so something silly in that range would appeal to me personally but it depends on her! Just think of something she would like and just ask along with it.
It's not like your proposing marriage or something it doesn't have to be a big deal

[Waffen]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;44820060]If you guys are already essentially dating its not a huge deal, theres no real best way.
Personally i'm a sucker for puns and romantic gestures so something silly in that range would appeal to me personally but it depends on her! Just think of something she would like and just ask along with it.
It's not like your proposing marriage or something it doesn't have to be a big deal[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I've often enough said at this point that we're pretty much already a couple and she's always agreed, I think it's just knowing it's official that really bothers her because that's when things start to be just a bit more serious. She's a great girl despite all her issues and stuff, so hopefully she'll understand that and not get flustered too bad

[zenby]

Officially got my tux for prom and damn it's fancy, going without a date with a group of friends and one of my best friends who's also dateless (broke up with his gf a month ago)
My current plan is to dance with a bunch of random girls like NO ONE did

[Sashaisme]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44820668]Officially got my tux for prom and damn it's fancy, going without a date with a group of friends and one of my best friends who's also dateless (broke up with his gf a month ago)
My current plan is to dance with a bunch of random girls like NO ONE did[/QUOTE]

my plan for at prom is more or less "flit around and try to figure out who the hell half of the people in the junior/senior class are"

[paindoc]

Prom is fun.

Groups just add drama. Had mine a few weeks ago, one of the best nights of my life. Don't worry about a group, go with some friends and do what [I]you[/I] want to do

[Behemoth_PT]

I regret so much being an angry teenager at the time so much that I hated prom.

Now I regret it. Even had a girl who fancied me that wanted to dance with me and I just sit by watching that train go by me. But no, Mr. Me had to make a stand against society's norms. I was a walking talking tumblr at that time too busy being alternative and fighting the Man. I sure showed them...

[NO ONE]

I felt like I was gonna do the same thing. I had so much animosity built up for other people, along with people in general not exactly liking me. It felt wrong to have fun in the same room where some of my "enemies" were.

I used to do that at middle school dances and stuff. I always went in with the mindset I was gonna wreak havoc and not do what everyone else was doing and so on.

[zenby]

Well shit I just heard the girl who's been causing in my havoc in my life going after my dick etc. is single again and she just texted me
Prom might be a bit more interesting than I was expecting...

[editline]17th May 2014[/editline]

Yep she wants to hang out with me at prom so we can "talk and stuff".

[Zar]

Was at a party last night. It was pretty good I guess, except that I fell asleep and missed like an hour of it.

[disseminate]

[QUOTE=ZenX2;44830384]Well shit I just heard the girl who's been causing in my havoc in my life going after my dick etc. is single again and she just texted me
Prom might be a bit more interesting than I was expecting...

[editline]17th May 2014[/editline]

Yep she wants to hang out with me at prom so we can "talk and stuff".[/QUOTE]

$10 says she actually just wants to talk