Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT - General - Facepunch Forum

Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

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You went to prom with her, so I don't see why not?

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45028884]Does anyone else ever feel like they can talk to people just fine in person or on the phone but totally shit themselves when it comes to texting?[/QUOTE] I kind of hate texting beyond simple stuff such as "Could you meet me at X" or "bring me x next time you see me".

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45028884]Does anyone else ever feel like they can talk to people just fine in person or on the phone but totally shit themselves when it comes to texting?[/QUOTE] Other way for me. Facebook chat? Good things to say and funny jokes pop into my mind within seconds of receiving a message, in real life, jokes for example always come five seconds too late

I know it's burdensome for the people in this thread to answer posts, given that nine of ten posts here are people asking for advice and not giving it, but I just can't think of a better place to post this of course. So there's this chick at my work (in another department though) who I've always been into since we started at about the same time. We both went to a dinner function for the employees of the store and afterwards exchanged numbers and all. We had a period of a few weeks where we talked heaps. Then gradually it got to sexting. We ended up doing this for a few more weeks and it just stopped. For at least a few months. When I mean stopped, it's as in that I'd send her messages (nothing odd, just a simple hey) and she wouldn't reply. I didn't want to be 'that guy' so I just stopped messaging her after two unreturned messages. At work also I just struggled to look at her. Then randomly about three weeks ago she started messaging me and we started talking heaps again (for a few days), but then the same thing happened and she wouldn't respond to my messages. So I stopped again. I just don't know what to make of it. From the onset I was pretty obvious when I said something along the lines of do you want to get lunch somewhere, ie make it clear it wasn't just a friends thing (but she pushed away that idea). I don't even know what happened with the whole sexting stuff, but she liked it and I liked it (well at least she'd explicitly initiate that stuff most of the time). She'd hate it when I would have to drive into town to be deso for some friends because then we wouldn't be able to chat. I'm guessing she found something she didn't like about me much the first time we started talking (no idea what that would be though) and when we started talking again after the few months she must have found it again. I don't know what it is. But I just don't want this to die away just like that. I don't want it for the sex, just that I've been lonely for long enough especially after living by myself for 9 months.

[QUOTE=Antdawg;45032958]I know it's burdensome for the people in this thread to answer posts, given that nine of ten posts here are people asking for advice and not giving it, but I just can't think of a better place to post this of course. So there's this chick at my work (in another department though) who I've always been into since we started at about the same time. We both went to a dinner function for the employees of the store and afterwards exchanged numbers and all. We had a period of a few weeks where we talked heaps. Then gradually it got to sexting. We ended up doing this for a few more weeks and it just stopped. For at least a few months. When I mean stopped, it's as in that I'd send her messages (nothing odd, just a simple hey) and she wouldn't reply. I didn't want to be 'that guy' so I just stopped messaging her after two unreturned messages. At work also I just struggled to look at her. Then randomly about three weeks ago she started messaging me and we started talking heaps again (for a few days), but then the same thing happened and she wouldn't respond to my messages. So I stopped again. I just don't know what to make of it. From the onset I was pretty obvious when I said something along the lines of do you want to get lunch somewhere, ie make it clear it wasn't just a friends thing (but she pushed away that idea). I don't even know what happened with the whole sexting stuff, but she liked it and I liked it (well at least she'd explicitly initiate that stuff most of the time). She'd hate it when I would have to drive into town to be deso for some friends because then we wouldn't be able to chat. I'm guessing she found something she didn't like about me much the first time we started talking (no idea what that would be though) and when we started talking again after the few months she must have found it again. I don't know what it is. But I just don't want this to die away just like that. I don't want it for the sex, just that I've been lonely for long enough especially after living by myself for 9 months.[/QUOTE] Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Although she could be texting you out of loneliness too. Hard to say. You can do what you want about it, but obviously if you stop getting anything out of the connection, don't exhaust any more effort. It sucks that you haven't been able to get much face to face time, and for that I would say don't hold her too close. Texting and sexting is one thing, but actually spending time together is a whole different level. I know where you're coming from too in not wanting to lose a connection in fear of dealing with loneliness. Truth is once you become ok with being alone and can entertain and take care of yourself, you'll depend much less on other people for your own happiness (not saying you're totally unhappy). We all our responsible for our own happiness, but it's human nature to become dependent apon others.

-snip-

I've gone to a few parties where scuzzgirl also showed up and we've chatted away and we actually get along pretty well, I'm going to another party with her on Monday so that should be cool, and I'm gonna try to finally nail down a day to get coffee

I have an actual real date soon. What advice would you offer a guy who has zero experience in this department?

[QUOTE=RobbL;45036881]I have an actual real date soon. What advice would you offer a guy who has zero experience in this department?[/QUOTE] yeah me too. I just asked a girl out to go to the movies. what do?

[QUOTE=iggy650;45016755]I just finished my last final exam of my sophomore year and I could leave an hour early. I was walking down the hallway, saying bye to all my teachers, telling them to have a good summer, and was really happy to finish the year. Out of no where my ex girlfriend pops up in front of me. We had been on pretty good terms for the past 2 weeks, so I smile at her and wave and say "woo the year's over". She asks if she can talk to me, and she's smiling so I assume it's nothing serious. I follow her into the band room. She tells me to have a good summer and hugs me. I hug her back, thinking it's just a friendly hug. It lasts longer than a friendly hug. This is weird. Fuck. Why is she still hugging me? I pull away. She pulls toward me like I'm the fucked up earth and she's the dysfunctional moon we both are. Her lips land on mine, but not like Apollo. It's more like the fucking Challenger rocket. I hear the explosions of impact in my head. The group that works at HQ or whatever the fuck it's called is screaming. "Houston we have a big ass pile of shit" they yell. All of the onlookers see the fiery explosion and gasp and scream and cry and do whatever they think is the appropriate thing to do at the time. Everyone on board is dead and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it. I panic. Kiss her back. Wait fuck don't do that you goddamn shithead. I pull away. She looks at me like I'm retarded and wearing a propeller baseball hat and a bib, drooling all over myself while blowing spit all over my pinwheel, desperately trying to get it to spin. She asks me what's wrong, as if she didn't just put in the launch code to nuke China. I am literally at a loss for words at this point, so I just look at her and say "No". Fucking brilliant. "Why not?" she asks. "I don't want to date you, every time we do anything physical I end up regretting it almost immediately, you aren't that hot, we don't have much in common, you have a terrible personality, you lead on guys like you're the fucking pied piper, you took my virginity while I was high, even after specifically asking you not to do that an hour before, the band teacher is literally 5 steps away from us, and you're supposed to be taking an exam in 4 fucking minutes, you crazy bitch." I didn't say that. I did say "No" again. She almost starts to cry, doing this weird facial twitch thing she does where her whole face looks like it contracts Parkinson's, epilepsy and every other weird muscle detriment at once. I wanted to tell her that she shouldn't because she looks so ugly when she cries. But I also wanted to take some shears and cut my lips off, throw them on the ground and burn them. We all want things. "I just didn't want to end my school year with regrets," she tells me. Yes, I'm sure this is all going exactly as you had planned it would in your head. Did she think I would be ecstatic, rip my clothes off and fuck her right there in the band room? Actually, there's a chance she did. "Well... still no." What do I even say here. She actually starts crying. What the fuck do I even do. I say what any licensed psychologist would say in this situation. "Hey... no... be happy." Smooth as a baby's ass cheeks. "Well... okay bye." she say's between sniffles. She starts to walk out of the door. "Hey," I say to her. She turns around. I reach out and kind of touch her cheek. "Be happy." She frowns and does her face dance shit and walks away. I am standing there wondering what the fuck just happened.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Fire Kracker;45018151]next time she's eating you can be like "you look so graceful when you eat that, like a whale in the ocean or a pig grazing on mushrooms~" [editline]6th June 2014[/editline] works for me anyways [editline]6th June 2014[/editline] "you are like the clouds in the sky, fat and huge"[/QUOTE] These posts are incredible, got me laughing. Made my evening :v:

[QUOTE=Rammaster;45037013]yeah me too. I just asked a girl out to go to the movies. what do?[/QUOTE] Watch the movie and steal her popcorn

[QUOTE=Rammaster;45037013]yeah me too. I just asked a girl out to go to the movies. what do?[/QUOTE] Movies are pretty shoddy first dates. Doesn't give you much opportunity to talk and get to know each other. Coffee is my fav first time date. Movie can come later. I guess just go early so you have time to eat beforehand and get a bit of chat in?

my date is at a museum museums r cool

My best chance for a first date with this girl would be at a town fair that's coming in like two weeks. Fairs are a good date destination, right?

My first date was at the Tim Hortons on my uni's campus so surely you can all do better than me :v:

[QUOTE=loopoo;45037039]Movies are pretty shoddy first dates. Doesn't give you much opportunity to talk and get to know each other. Coffee is my fav first time date. Movie can come later. I guess just go early so you have time to eat beforehand and get a bit of chat in?[/QUOTE] well we were hanging out before I asked her and she said she wanted to see it. So I just seized the opportunity. We'll see how this goes.

[QUOTE=RobbL;45036881]I have an actual real date soon. What advice would you offer a guy who has zero experience in this department?[/QUOTE] Don't: Be afraid of being judged by her (or others) for your behaviour wear a fedora call her m'lady pay for everything tell her your life story cry about it if it goes bad Do: Be forward and spontaneous Enjoy yourself independent of whether she is Learn from the experience [editline]9th June 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45037769]My first date was at the Tim Hortons on my uni's campus so surely you can all do better than me :v:[/QUOTE] Girls will enjoy a date more in not-so-great a place with someone engaging than in a super-fancy restaurant with someone who bores them. The premise of a date is basically one party determining "Do I want to let this person fuck me", usually the girl. If that's what you're after - and let's be real, it is - try and reverse the roles. She's not an innocent princess and has probably been through her fair share of guys before you even met, so showering her in confetti, addressing her as princess won't get you collectively closer to a bed. In other words you gotta make it clear but not explicit that you want to put your wonder rod in her jam jar. Confidence is key. [editline]9th June 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;45037712]My best chance for a first date with this girl would be at a town fair that's coming in like two weeks. Fairs are a good date destination, right?[/QUOTE] Plenty of opportunities to have fun, and according to a certain 80s singer that's just what girls wanna have

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;45037948] Girls will enjoy a date more in not-so-great a place with someone engaging than in a super-fancy restaurant with someone who bores them. The premise of a date is basically one party determining "Do I want to let this person fuck me", usually the girl. If that's what you're after - and let's be real, it is - try and reverse the roles. She's not an innocent princess and has probably been through her fair share of guys before you even met, so showering her in confetti, addressing her as princess won't get you collectively closer to a bed. In other words you gotta make it clear but not explicit that you want to put your wonder rod in her jam jar. Confidence is key. [/QUOTE] Other than not being a fedora neckbeard I don't know how much of this actually applies. She's not a super attractive girl and between me and a few friends we came to the conclusion that she seems like the kind of girl who's never had a relationship before. Chances are she hasn't been through very many guys before getting to me. I'm not saying this as a fedora neckbeard who thinks every girl he likes is "so pure and innocent and not a slut like all the other girls", I'm saying this because I legitimately think she's never had a guy like her as more than a friend before. I don't know this for certain so I'm not going to assume that 100%, but it does kind of seem that way. I realize this probably made me sound like a giant neckbeard but I don't really care. Anyway, this same girl, she's the one I'm having issues with texting. I don't like texting and I feel like I'm an extremely boring person to text. She doesn't seem to like texting very much either, although every once in a while she will send me a fucking wall of text. Obvious solution if both of us seem to dislike texting would be to call her but I just feel super nervous about doing that. And then I just use the fact that I'll get charged for long distance as an excuse not to call her and go back to wondering what to say when I text her so I don't sound super boring and then it just gets to the point where it's late enough at night that she probably stops checking her phone so I don't bother texting her.

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45038375]Other than not being a fedora neckbeard I don't know how much of this actually applies. ... [/QUOTE] That was just general advice, not specifically directed at you. The fact you don't care is a good thing [quote] Anyway, this same girl, she's the one I'm having issues with texting. I don't like texting and I feel like I'm an extremely boring person to text. She doesn't seem to like texting very much either, although every once in a while she will send me a fucking wall of text. Obvious solution if both of us seem to dislike texting would be to call her but I just feel super nervous about doing that. And then I just use the fact that I'll get charged for long distance as an excuse not to call her and go back to wondering what to say when I text her so I don't sound super boring and then it just gets to the point where it's late enough at night that she probably stops checking her phone so I don't bother texting her.[/quote] If you don't like texting, don't invest a great deal of time, effort or thought in it, if you avoid doing so she'll appreciate it more when you actually exchange noises out your mouths. You say she sends you these long messages, what are they about? If it's something that genuinely interests or concerns you, respond as you would to anyone else; If you don't, send her a funny picture of an animal or something. I only ever really use my phone to make plans with people and save the conversation for when we're speaking in person. Again, don't be scared of her judging you or how you come across. Whether or not you'll admit it here or to yourself, or whether that's the actual case, it's the impression I get anyway. If as you say she's not been with many men, she'll be as nervous as you are if not more. If you don't doubt yourself, neither will she. What's the worst that could happen? Getting rejected or dumped or whatever? If you've little experience, that can sometimes be more valuable than actually getting into or sustaining a relationship. She's not the only chance you'll have in life to get your dick wet or have a lovey-dovey long term relationship with if that's what you're after. If you think that she is, that's something you'll have to turn around - It's how I operated not too long ago and it got me nowhere except wanking in a dark room crying alone (Just kidding. I had the light on). Funnily enough the less you give a shit or at least appear to give a shit about how a given exchange turns out, the more likely it'll end in your favour. In this context, act like you're dogging Cheryl Cole at all times

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;45038846]That was just general advice, not specifically directed at you. The fact you don't care is a good thing If you don't like texting, don't invest a great deal of time, effort or thought in it, if you avoid doing so she'll appreciate it more when you actually exchange noises out your mouths. You say she sends you these long messages, what are they about? If it's something that genuinely interests or concerns you, respond as you would to anyone else; If you don't, send her a funny picture of an animal or something. I only ever really use my phone to make plans with people and save the conversation for when we're speaking in person. Again, don't be scared of her judging you or how you come across. Whether or not you'll admit it here or to yourself, or whether that's the actual case, it's the impression I get anyway. If as you say she's not been with many men, she'll be as nervous as you are if not more. If you don't doubt yourself, neither will she. What's the worst that could happen? Getting rejected or dumped or whatever? If you've little experience, that can sometimes be more valuable than actually getting into or sustaining a relationship. She's not the only chance you'll have in life to get your dick wet or have a lovey-dovey long term relationship with if that's what you're after. If you think that she is, that's something you'll have to turn around - It's how I operated not too long ago and it got me nowhere except wanking in a dark room crying alone (Just kidding. I had the light on). Funnily enough the less you give a shit or at least appear to give a shit about how a given exchange turns out, the more likely it'll end in your favour. In this context, act like you're dogging Cheryl Cole at all times[/QUOTE] It's not even caring much about how I come across. Before I texted her last weekend I had texted her twice before over the past month without any replies. Most guys would have given up by then, but I clearly didn't care about her thinking I was clingy and/or annoying so I texted her anyway and we ended up texting back and forth for like 2 hours. So it's not a problem with thinking she doesn't want to talk to me or anything like that. If anything, I'm afraid of texting someone too often without really having anything to say because that's what turned off the last girl I liked. And I think with this girl I've made it kind of obvious that I like her as more than a friend so if she wasn't interested in that chances are sure would have told me by now. I think it's all more of a problem of having so much distance between us so I'm always wondering what she's up to because I'm not going to get to see her until school starts again in September. Combine that with having had literally fuck all to do all day for the past month because nobody around here seems to want to hire me (I don't blame them, the local college gets out before my uni so everyone can hire their temporary summer workers from the college and have them start working before I've even started finals.) and the only time I'm not thinking about her is when I'm raging during a late night gaming session. And if we actually do start dating, distance will continue to be an issue because she finishes uni a year before I do and for all I know she could end up on the other side of the country, or even in a different country altogether. I guess what I really need is something to take my mind off her, and all the other bullshit going on in my life at the moment for that matter. [editline]8th June 2014[/editline] Also I can pretty much only text her or call her or whatever the fuck during the weekend because she works every day and since she lives in buttfuck nowhere northern Canada during the summer, she gets no phone reception when she's at work.

The previous page just reminded me. I never got closure when my crush rejected me last year. She said no but we didn't have time to talk more because we had a play to perform. I played the character that gets rejected by her character, which looking back is kind of funny and a little foreshadowing of real life. We never talked about it after, I never got a chance to find out why and she doesn't talk to me much anymore. We were such close friends, and now I've been ostracized from our friend group which is fucking dumb because I knew a lot of people in the group before she did and now I'm the pariah. Like I'm pretty much completely over it and it doesn't usually bother me thinking about it because I am lucky enough to have enough friends that I can find another friend group to settle in with, but if I just had closure I would feel so much better.

Didn't realise it was a long-distance thing. The logistics of these sort of relationships more often than not make it more effort than it's worth. End of the day if you think she's gonna bugger off before it really gets going, it's already time to move on. Maybe somewhere down the line you'll be reunited but don't bank on it, keep your options open. [quote]If anything, I'm afraid of texting someone too often without really having anything to say because that's what turned off the last girl I liked. And I think with this girl I've made it kind of obvious that I like her as more than a friend so if she wasn't interested in that chances are sure would have told me by now.[/quote] If you like each other enough chances are you could get away with talking about how big your last shit was, but the long-distance thing makes it easier for her to go along with it without any real commitment. All that said, I'm only going off the info you've told me here so it's up to you to judge, just make sure you're not wasting your time

Might sound really odd but just wanted to share. My boyfriend and I might be staying with his parents for a few months while we wait out the lease so we don't have to keep living with our sociopath roommate. His parents have been asking us to live with them ever since we moved here (having several generations of family living in the same house is a Russian thing) but it always seemed odd to me, but I thought about it a bit and realized it sounds like a good idea for a little while. I'm actually pretty excited about it - we'll be looking for a new place the time he gets his masters in public affairs, so with some money saved up and him starting a career at that point, we should be able to rent a nicer place for ourselves afterward. Plus, I'll finally be able to get an acoustic piano since we won't have neighbors right on the other side of the walls... And we'll have an AC system that isn't decades old and internet that doesn't shut off randomly during the summer... And getting to actually live with our dog will be nice. It's not totally set in stone, we'll be staying there for a few weeks in August to see how it goes. Either way, I'm really looking forward of getting out of this fucking 2 bedroom apartment and actually having space to put all my belongings that have been occupying our bedroom floor.

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;45037948]Don't: Be afraid of being judged by her (or others) for your behaviour [B]wear a fedora[/B] call her m'lady pay for everything tell her your life story cry about it if it goes bad Do: Be forward and spontaneous Enjoy yourself independent of whether she is Learn from the experience [/QUOTE] What if I'm bad era michael jackson?

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;45039874]Didn't realise it was a long-distance thing. The logistics of these sort of relationships more often than not make it more effort than it's worth. End of the day if you think she's gonna bugger off before it really gets going, it's already time to move on. Maybe somewhere down the line you'll be reunited but don't bank on it, keep your options open. If you like each other enough chances are you could get away with talking about how big your last shit was, but the long-distance thing makes it easier for her to go along with it without any real commitment. All that said, I'm only going off the info you've told me here so it's up to you to judge, just make sure you're not wasting your time[/QUOTE] At the moment it is a long distance thing and for the time being it's only going to be a long distance thing until September when school starts again. I did go on a couple dates with her in the last couple months of the school year though so chances are I'll probably be asking her out again when school starts. So I don't feel like I'm wasting my time on her. Even though we didn't do anything more intimate than cuddle during a movie, I think most of my problems stem from missing the feeling of being close to her and wanting to have that feeling again now rather than have to wait a few months for it.

Hey Facepunch. I normally don't do things like this because I rarely take an interest in women, but lately I've really been freaking out over something that some of you may find pretty messed up and strange, and I really need some advice on what to do. So, for starters, my particular situation is pretty much fucked. There are many complications involved, of which I will explain shortly. Please allow me to lay the foundation of my tale by providing any of you guys willing to give me a helping hand some necessary backstory. Skip to the TL;DR if you don't feel like reading all of this. At the end of 2011, my biological mother died, and a few months later my father started seeing another woman. I was more than happy for him. It was great to see him laughing and smiling again, and this particular woman also had a few kids to bring along into their future marriage. Four, actually. Three sons and one daughter. One son lived (and still does) on his own, while the rest of her children live with her. Her daughter was 18, her youngest son was 13, and the middle child was 16. The oldest was 21, and as I said, he lives on his own. Around the time that I got acquainted with their family, I loved all of them instantly. My future stepmother was very sweet and understood the pain of losing someone as close as a mother. She eased me into this new family, and I still thank her for that to this day. The one step-sibling that I really got close with was the youngest of the bunch. The both of us loved video games, and we spent most of our time together playing games and discussing them. I never spent much time speaking to everyone else, since I rarely saw them. I got acquainted with her daughter, and at the time I wasn't the biggest fan of her. She was very bitchy, insanely snarky, and just a general negative influence to be around. The smallest things would set her off, and shortly afterwards an argument would erupt between her and her mother. However, in the times where she wasn't acting like a stuck up bitch, she was wonderful to be around. I never got to speak to her daughter much, because as soon as my now stepmother and father got together, her daughter was moving away to Colorado for college. I didn't see her until November, and at that point in time, I was still living in my old house, so I only saw her once or twice. By the time I moved in with my step-family and father, she had left to go to college for another year of classes. After she got out into the world and experienced paying for her own things and essentially living on her own, she became far less of a bitch and way, way more likeable. [B]TL;DR I have a step-family[/B] So, just last week, we all went to Florida on vacation. We had two cottages just next to the beach, and we spent every day enjoying the ocean. It was really, really relaxing, and since I'm 21, it was even better because I could pitch in on alcohol and drink. Now, I had never really spoken to my stepsister up until this point in time. She was always away at university, and the times that she was around, I was busy with university. So we never really spoke much beyond the usual smalltalk when running into each other in the house while I was leaving for classes, or when I was running out to go pick up stuff from the store. The first night in Florida, my stepsister had a few drinks, and she immediately started flirting with me. It wasn't REALLY flirting, but a lot of physical contact and implications were involved. I know that when you're drunk your actions aren't necessarily true to your real feelings, but she hadn't had that much to drink to pass off the way she was acting as "just being drunk". She was doing things like hugging me, wrapping her arm around me while walking, and just general conversating. What really, really confused me was when she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I'll make out with anybody if they ask!" I know, I know. Drunk talk. But like I said earlier, sometimes what you say when you're drunk is just a large extrapolation of feelings you have deep, deep down inside of you. So she went to bed, and I was having serious difficulty sleeping. All of these thoughts poured into my mind. I was attracted to my step-sister. I had a feeling that maybe she liked me, and I had decided that I was going to test the waters and see what I could find. The next day, I got drunk. I'm not quite sure what I did, but I recall the both of us getting plastered and having fun. We didn't fuck, we were basically continuing the casual flirtations of the previous night with a lot more physical contact. We were regularly hugging one another and the flirting was a lot more heavy. I vividly recall holding her in my arms for around five minutes, telling her how beautiful and perfect she is. I was so happy in that moment. I don't think I've ever been any happier than I was right then and there. Once again, we went to bed after (I assume) our parents separated us. I vaguely recall her mother telling me "If you touch her one more time, I'll kick your ass!" Jokingly, of course, but I was drunk and she probably didn't want to piss me off. The next few days are all more or less a slideshow due to how much I had been drinking. Half of my urge to drink was to see how far I could take things, the other half was due to disgust. She IS my stepsister, and yet I was flirting with her to see if she actually had some feelings for me. The flirting was all the same, but there was a significant lack of physical contact. I noticed that she always responded positively to my advances while in private, but when family was around, I may as well have been flirting with a brick wall. This hypothesis was basically proven when we went to Busch Gardens. It was just me, her, and her little brother. Initially, her little brother didn't want to ride anything, so for awhile it was just she and I having all the fun. She acted very, very different when her brother decided to join us on the rest of the rides. Very distant, seemingly bored, and slightly bitchy. So, let's fast forward to the last night we were in Florida. I had thought about the last few days, and I decided that I should at least apologize to her for any of my inappropriate behavior towards her. I figured she had to be feeling uncomfortable about my advances, and I wanted to be mature about it. At the same time, I wanted to tell her that I like her, but the thought petrified me due to the intense social taboo connected to it. So I'm just sitting there on the beach smoking a sweet Cuban stogie looking at the stars. Everyone else had gone to bed. It was just the both of us out on the beach. She was away from me having fun with another family on vacation that she had acquainted herself with, and when she inevitably came over to retrieve her things, I decided that was when I would apologize to her for my behavior. She came over, and the very first thing she did when she sat down was look at me and say "I'm so glad to be here with you right now". That right there hit me pretty fucking hard, and as much as I wanted to tell her how I felt, I just couldn't bring myself to do it without a lot of alcohol in my system, and I want to have a clean mind when I bring my feelings to the surface. I just said "Me too", and after some smalltalk, I said "Hey, can I tell you something?" She said "Sure", and I began my apology. It was pretty basic; "Sorry for any inappropriate things I did while I was drunk, I'm sure some of it made you uncomfortable." What she did really surprised me. She began to giggle. It was a cute, funny giggle. Not an uneasy one. She then stared at me and said "It's okay!" and giggled some more. I'm basically retarded when it comes to reading these kinds of things, but I seriously get the feeling that she likes me, and she has to know that I like her. Hugging someone for five straight minutes and telling them how beautiful they are isn't something you do when you're drunk unless you REALLY mean it. The problem is she's the type of girl who firmly believes that men should be the ones to make the first move. That, and she's my stepsister, and I her stepbrother. If she had absolutely no relation to me, this would be completely different, but it's just not that simple. I should have told her how I felt that night, because she said "I'm good at reading guys" (personalities/intentions, etc etc), and I wanted to say "Then I guess you already know I like you", but the beta in me was too strong and I said "that's good." Eventually we just went to bed, and started the drive back home the next morning. [B]TL;DR[/B] So, basically guys, here's the rundown if you didn't read any of that shit: 1. I have a stepsister 2. I'm attracted to her 3. I think she's attracted to me 4. I'm not cool with bringing this up OR displaying it with people around (unless I'm drunk enough) 5. I think she feels the same way I do in regards to displaying it and discussing it I'd like to clarify that I am NOT looking for a sexual relationship with her. I don't want to force her into a situation where she feels obligated to do something she doesn't want to do. When I tell her how I feel, it's completely her decision on where she wants to take it. If she doesn't feel the same way I feel, than that's that. I'll let it go, no questions asked. If she wants to take it further, then it's fine by me. My problem is this: I am looking for reassurance, I guess. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you approach it? How did the both of you deal with your relationship if one managed to form? Did the possible risks (parents/siblings finding out) actually happen? To me, the potential risks do not outweigh the necessity for me to tell her how I feel about her. I need to get this off my chest, or I'll be pissed at myself for the rest of my life. I don't care if she doesn't want to do anything about it, I'll move on. But for now, I can't until I know how she feels. Sorry about the wall of text. Tomorrow I'm going to work on telling her, but if I don't get around to it I'll hopefully have some responses to read through that will help me out. I'm sure I'm just overanalyzing all of this, but like I said, I have to let her know. Thanks again, Facepunch. Tomorrow you guys should have an interesting story to read regarding the outcome of my predicament.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;45024878]I'd probably be pretty mad if someone said that to me if I was upset[/QUOTE] "Hey i just nuked your mood but, you know, be happy!" Only thinking about that is driving me mad

General advice here - I have something more than I desire anything else in life, but why can't I get my self to get up out of bed and pursue it each day? I get burst of motivation for a day to a week, and it's gone by the next day or week. This happens every month. The biggest problem is to get up everday to pursue it mentally (school, studying) and physically. (Strength, endurance) Then confidence is another problem, I've never been confident in something, so I don't know what it's like. I feel as though I need to get more competitive, instead of with just friends (which I view as just fun, but real competition) so that doesn't boost anything. My biggest confidence problems are: Driving Social (Work/Job) Abilities So, I'd like to ask for tips what people do, or have done. Thanks guys

[QUOTE=Hole;45041504]General advice here - I have something more than I desire anything else in life, but why can't I get my self to get up out of bed and pursue it each day? I get burst of motivation for a day to a week, and it's gone by the next day or week. This happens every month. The biggest problem is to get up everday to pursue it mentally (school, studying) and physically. (Strength, endurance) Then confidence is another problem, I've never been confident in something, so I don't know what it's like. I feel as though I need to get more competitive, instead of with just friends (which I view as just fun, but real competition) so that doesn't boost anything. My biggest confidence problems are: Driving Social (Work/Job) Abilities So, I'd like to ask for tips what people do, or have done. Thanks guys[/QUOTE] The best way to become more confident at something is to do it in spite of your feelings toward it. Eventually you'll get used to it and become comfortable with it. If you're shy, just try making small talk with people. If you meet enough new people you'll eventually answer the question of "what's the worst that can happen?" and realize it's not actually that bad. As for not having the motivation to do things, I would recommend setting a schedule. Having time commitments every day will make it easier. Attend school every day (if this is an issue, try to remind yourself that attending isn't a choice you have, it's something you need to do), set aside specific hours or days for studying, and decide on specific days/times for going to the gym or whatever it is you do. The important thing is to not let yourself slip when you feel your motivation going. I occasionally have periods of depression that last up to a few weeks and I know it can be incredibly difficult to keep trying in school at that point, but being able to keep working through those times is what counts the most toward your success.

I feel so sick all the time. I sort of wish I was with my ex again. Then another part of me just gets furious about how she dumped me. I fluctuate between being depressed, angry, self loathing, and then going back to normal. It hit me so hard. I can't sleep. I'm losing weight again. I'm getting chest pain. On top of that, my mom is having problems with her thyroid and I just feel so much more sick worrying about her. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to call my ex up and just apologize, but I feel like she won't care. On the premise that she felt like I didn't give her enough of my time. I just miss having a friend. If I'm not at school, I'm moping around the house. I try moving. But I just end up feeling more sick from being so lonely all the time.

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