• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45111793]That's really way too old to be doing stuff like this, at your age, people go on dates. The sensible thing would have been to ask her out on a date, and simply accept a no for a no. [/QUOTE] Well...technically if you are asking for date to an Indian girl, it counts as a proposal. There is so much difference in culture. That's what I asked for, a date. I guess I'll just move on without making it more complex.,
[QUOTE=fritzel;45113400]Well...technically if you are asking for date to an Indian girl, it counts as a proposal. There is so much difference in culture. That's what I asked for, a date. I guess I'll just move on without making it more complex.,[/QUOTE] You were in New Zealand, and you decided to date the Indian girl? Duude..
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45113772]You were in New Zealand, and you decided to date the Indian girl? Duude..[/QUOTE] He lives in India it appears from both his steam profile and flagdog...
[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;45114045]He lives in India it appears from both his steam profile and flagdog...[/QUOTE] He was in New Zealand, and is from India.
[QUOTE=Exigent;45111812]I need to become a better person. I'm just extremely judgmental and an asshole all the time. What are things I could do to change my mindset and not be so self-centered and uncaring?[/QUOTE] The fact that you recognize the problem and what needs to be changed makes you a better person than many already. Each person eventually finds a different way, but I'll offer what I've done to combat this. I've always disliked people telling me what I should do, and as such I've wrote this to not sound like one of those "you should," "and then should" kind of things. I used to be in a very similar boat. I was a very pessimistic, judgmental arse that was always yelling and bitching. One day I noticed that people really didn't like that aspect of myself so I sought to change it. The one thing I've learned in my life that I found to be really helpful is to detach myself from my own perspectives and instead to look at things from a different point of view. While its acceptable to have my own judgements and views, its also humbling to see things from multiple angles. In the same vein where I may see a thief as a criminal and a disruption towards society, I could also see the thief as an unfortunate lad trying to survive in the world. That analogy can be conveyed to everything. Its not about changing my own views. Its not about making a forceful change in perceptions. Its about taking a step back and seeing things from other perspectives. Through this I'm able to look at the overarching context behind a situation. An individual may do something I perceive as retarded as hell, and while I may as hell wish to tell that person to "get cancer and die" (which does happen), I take that step back and try and see things from that person's eyes. I then take what I notice, the quirks, the possible issues, any probable troubles, and then react based on that. To give a further example, my friends got in a heated argument with one another recently. The typical me wouldn't have hesitated to lash back and call my friend rather mean words. However I knew that he was passionate about the subject of our argument because of family ties to the subject, and I respected and noted the fact. Rather than escalating the issue I told him I understood his viewpoint, and told him that I respected his passion. I hope this made sense and I hope that you might be able to take some of this, though I apologize if not. Let me reiterate: the fact that you're aware of what needs to be changed makes you a much better person than many. With that in mind, I'm sure you'll be able to change yourself into a better person!
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45114376]He was in New Zealand, and is from India.[/QUOTE] Still in New Zealand till June end. Decided not to meddle anymore. One thing that i don't understand myself is that I didnt feel bad when she rejected my proposal. But why do I feel desperate to save the friendship ? [editline]16th June 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Exigent;45111812]I need to become a better person. I'm just extremely judgmental and an asshole all the time. What are things I could do to change my mindset and not be so self-centered and uncaring?[/QUOTE] Simple remedy is that don't judge people on their actions but try to understand the intentions behind. Just like how you judge your actions in the context.
[QUOTE=fritzel;45111331]Friendships stretch thin over time, esp in case of two opposite gender people.[/QUOTE] Where in the world did you get the idea that relationships last longer than friendships??
[QUOTE=Disseminate;45116510]Where in the world did you get the idea that relationships last longer than friendships??[/QUOTE] Uh... In terms of a long-term relationship, you would be spending the rest of your life living with the person and seeing them every day, whereas friends generally move apart and talk less. You don't plan your life around where your friends are.
Saw my buddy - the same guy I've bitched about in this thread before - for the first time in like, 10 weeks. Also found out he picked up smoking e-cigs as a way to relieve stress. I think he needs to see a fucking doctor if his stress is bad enough to start smoking e-cigs. And he's so goddamn spoiled, in both material wealth from his parents and in the quality of his job. It's like watching a slow motion train wreck, and a bunch of mutual friends and I all agreed that if he keeps this shit up, he's not gonna be worth the trouble, you know? Which annoys me, since I've known this guy for 14 years. And he's not open to conversations about stuff like this - I've tried. It's fucking terrible to see a perfectly healthy, financially secure, and morally straight friend shoot themselves in the foot over, and over, and over.
[QUOTE=fritzel;45115793] Simple remedy is that don't judge people on their actions but try to understand the intentions behind. Just like how you judge your actions in the context.[/QUOTE] You and I have the same comments and suggestion which I guess is pretty rad!
Girl I met last Friday has really clicked with me. We totally hit it off and we're into all the same shit. Mentioned we'd both been eyeing each other for the longest time but didn't have the guts to speak to each other. She's gone off for her holidays but promised me when she's back she's gonna spoil the crap out of me. Got a bunch of book recommendations too, which is awesome since I just finished reading a book. [editline]16th June 2014[/editline] We're not in a relationship, nor are we gonna be one. We're just enjoying the experience for what it is, which is perfect for me.
you keep telling yourself that
[QUOTE=Zar;45123070]you keep telling yourself that[/QUOTE] I was looking for a FWB, I found one. I've had enough relationships for a long while.
[QUOTE=loopoo;45123297]I was looking for a FWB, I found one. I've had enough relationships for a long while.[/QUOTE] oh I misunderstood you. Thought you said there was gonna be no romance between you. i count banging as romance.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45116583]Uh... In terms of a long-term relationship, you would be spending the rest of your life living with the person and seeing them every day, whereas friends generally move apart and talk less. You don't plan your life around where your friends are.[/QUOTE] We're talking about a guy who just told his friend he liked her out of nowhere
[QUOTE=Disseminate;45124216]We're talking about a guy who just told his friend he liked her out of nowhere[/QUOTE] I'm not defending him, I'm saying that it was a silly sweeping statement to make.
[QUOTE=Slowbro;45106854]It's just hit me that now I've withdrawn from uni and moved back home, I have zero irl friends, which is really depressing How do I make frend Hlep[/QUOTE] Any advice ??
Go to your local, go to places that satisfy your interests and talk to people there. Even better if it's sports
[QUOTE=Disseminate;45124216]We're talking about a guy who just told his friend he liked her out of nowhere[/QUOTE] You talk like as if I committed a crime.
Sent a fb message to my ex. Says she saw it. Don't care if I get a response because I recently just finished my transfer application for another university. If she comes back, cool, I'll be happy we can work it out. If not, doesn't matter, I feel like I have gotten over the worst of it. I have had so many doors open for me these past couple of weeks, I am just excited to start returning to homeostasis.
[QUOTE=Slowbro;45126813]Any advice ??[/QUOTE] The thing I've found really helpful is to start by looking into your interests. Its one of the easiest ways towards making friends; finding some sort of common ground. Find an event or activity that you have an interest in. It could be Friday Night Magic, a sports bar, a Smashfest, or a community pool. You'll be surrounded by people with the same interest, and it'd be easy to strike up a conversation. Now I used to feel very awkward even when I was at events and surroundings like these. For some reason I felt very introverted and wouldn't really strike up a conversation with the people around me. For me personally, I learned to not pay any attention to the perceptions of others around me. If I created a presence, then all the better; I'd differentiate myself as an individual and the next time I would come back to this event/activity, the people would find me memorable. From there I could talk to these people about doing things other than X activity or Y event, and go to see movies or what not. As an aside, the thing I've found very important towards making friends is a thing called inclusion. If I never invited X friend to any event, it may not mean we're not friends, but by inviting X friend to an event, it does solidify the notion. From there its all very natural. To sum: I personally would just get out to an event and meet similar thinking people. From there I'd go to several more events. Later I'd just ask them to see a movie or something. I hope this proved useful, friend!
Nobody wants to hang out with me other than my brothers friends (who are my friends too, for sure.) Fuck, I even think of most of them as brothers. I just wanted to make it clear that I do indeed have a lot of good friends. The catch is the fact that nobody in my sophomore (going onto Junior) class wants to ever chill with me. I am always hanging out with upper class men and that's great and all, but eventually they will all be leaving for college soon enough. One of them is even going off to the military alongside my brother at the end of this summer. I make plans with people and text them and we always talk and have conversations, but when it comes to actually hanging out after school... it never happens. Is it me? Do people genuinely just have something more important to do? I hate myself for not knowing why.
If it's bugging you it might be easier to just straight up ask your friends. Don't make the question forceful or accusatory, but a simple "it doesn't seem like anyone wants to hang out," isn't going to be anything too drastic. Just be straight and direct and bring your point across. It's better to know than to wonder in the dark.
[QUOTE=vizard38;45128625]If it's bugging you it might be easier to just straight up ask your friends. Don't make the question forceful or accusatory, but a simple "it doesn't seem like anyone wants to hang out," isn't going to be anything too drastic. Just be straight and direct and bring your point across. It's better to know than to wonder in the dark.[/QUOTE] I actually did that today. I was finished with my P.E exam, went to the locker room and got changed back into my normal clothes and sat down next to one of my female friends and simply asked her, "How come you don't respond to my texts? I feel as if you don't want to hang out with me." She said she understood and apologized and have me a big hug and told me she would try and fix that. I sent her another text, and of course... still no response. I guess I'm done trying to do anything with this girl.
[QUOTE=Dub!;45128648]I actually did that today. I was finished with my P.E exam, went to the locker room and got changed back into my normal clothes and sat down next to one of my female friends and simply asked her, "How come you don't respond to my texts? I feel as if you don't want to hang out with me." She said she understood and apologized and have me a big hug and told me she would try and fix that. I sent her another text, and of course... still no response. I guess I'm done trying to do anything with this girl.[/QUOTE] Might want to try to corral them as a group (which I understand is hard) and ask them together. It could work.
[QUOTE=vizard38;45129055]Might want to try to corral them as a group (which I understand is hard) and ask them together. It could work.[/QUOTE] I have a lot of different friends. Most that don't hang with one another. Wouldn't really work out.
[QUOTE=orcywoo6;45083510]So this isn't relationship advice or anything, I'd just appreciate a bit of a vent. I very recently passed an SIA course for Security Guarding and have since been looking for jobs in the industry. Whilst I was doing this I came across a job that sounded almost too good to be true, definitely one that wouldn't accept someone like me with pretty much no experience. The job in question was advertising for Trainee Security Dog Handlers, they would take you on, train you up, provide a dog, van and kennel among loads of other things, completely free of charge as long as you committed to completing your training with them and etc. So I thought, why the hell not? and sent them my CV and a cover letter anyway, making sure to mention how I love dogs and pursuing a career in dog handling was why I entered the security industry in the first place. (Completely true, its my dream job). Lo and behold, a day after the cut-off date I received an email inviting me to an aptitude assessment with a dog and an interview and to wear appropriate clothing. I am so bloody excited about this, I never expected to hear a response seeing as a lot of dog handlers end up being Ex-Military or Police. So I promptly replied to confirm my attendance, to later find out I'm 1 out of only 6 candidates (including myself). So again, heart racing I have high chances because I'm pretty sure they're looking for two handlers. I've gone out and left no detail unaccounted for, bought some proper capped boots, smart but mobile trousers the same as I would wear on the job, worst case scenario I can use them for something else. I have no idea what the assessment entails but I'm under the assumption they mostly want to make sure that you're capable of learning things and are confident with dogs. Anyway, I'm excited and nervous at the same time, mostly excited but my nerves are killing me. This is my dream job on the line and this does not come around often. Going to put everything into this.[/QUOTE] Just got back from this, it was much more of an assessment than an interview, it really wasn't formal at all. They took me into a room and told me they'd let the dog in shortly and they wanted me to completely ignore it, not even look at it to see if I could follow their instructions. They then showed me a video relating to the job, talked stuff over with me and that kind of thing. After that a quick demonstration with the dog and after that it was my turn to copy exactly what they did :v: Gotta hand it to the dog she cooperated with me thank god, she was a bit iffy at one point because she was eager to get some treats but she behaved. The other assessment to see how I coped with pressure was showing me how they tie the leashes up and throwing loads of them on the floor and asking me to do it whilst they timed me, I must admit I couldn't do it but they only timed me for a minute, I think they were mostly seeing if I would freak out or not. All the other stuff was discussing about their company, myself and the implications and commitment the job requires which all sounded fine. Hopefully I gave them a good impression, they seemed very friendly and Brenda the dog was absolutely lovely :v: I'm really excited about this, its time to bite my nails and wait for a result!
I'm done with my exams tomorrow. That means vacation, and last month and a half with my friends before we all go seperate ways. [editline]17th June 2014[/editline] I just realized this is pretty scary and I'm really excited. new chapter in my life tbh.
at 10 55 I go take my exam to end 10 years of studying holeeeeeeeee shit
[QUOTE=riku2211;45081040]So, life is pretty alright lately. I'm happily living with my girlfriend (temp arrangement), I'm getting along with my co-workers and generally having an alright time at work, I'm making money, my depression is pretty much under control, overall everything's going alright other than college I guess. I'm having trouble figuring out what classes to take, and I don't have a major so I really lack an overall goal here. But I mean, life's going alright. Had my friends over earlier today, we played some Wii-U and shit, it was fun. But at the end of the day, every day, I feel like something is missing. I feel empty somehow, like even though I'm pretty happy (at least I think I am?) it still feels like something is horribly wrong. My girlfriend is in Canada for a couple weeks, so I feel lonely I suppose, and that worries me a bit for when college starts up and she moves a city away to go to college. Meaning, I won't basically EVER get to see her. That worries me a lot. But I don't think that's quite it... even before she left, I felt like this pretty often. I just don't know what it is, or even how to describe the feeling. I said I feel like something is missing or wrong in my life, but I don't know what it'd be or if that's really even a good description of it. I really have no idea what to do about it, as I have no idea what it is, and it's really getting to me. Any advice?[/QUOTE] Would kind of like to bring this back up. Still feeling like this. And I've realized, that any free time I ever have at all just feels so completely wasted no matter what I do. There seems to be no way for me to be satisfied with my time off work, and working is exhausting and sometimes really infuriating even though I'm getting more used to it. I know it's how things go in the real world and all that, you just have to deal with people you don't want to, but my god two of my managers are just the worst people. One is supposed to be our highest ranking (for lack of better words) manager, and she schedules herself for like 8 hour shifts or whatever. She then shows up, leaves, comes back hours later, gets herself food, and leaves. And when she's actually there, she's always got this snarky sarcasm about her, and is so domineering. The other is a complete bitch and no one likes her, she yells at everyone all the time and seems to have some sort of superiority complex. Working with these people just manages to make me feel angry the whole time for one reason or another and it's so exhausting, even when I'm working with such cool co-workers who I can joke around with and stuff. On top of that, it stresses me out and distracts me, which makes me fuck up more often or work more slowly. It's always been hard for me to keep a clear head at work, especially when I'm tired most every day I work, and that added stress does not help. And THEN if I ever fuck up and i'm working with one of these managers they will start yelling at me about it which just makes everything worse. I get that being domineering and impatient is kind of part of being a manager, but these two make that the WHOLE point of being a manager, and my 2 other managers do an amazing job without making me feel like shit and like big brother is watching. They actually give me some morale to work, don't make me feel stressed out unless there's reason to, and don't make me freak out and lose my focus. Honestly, right now while my GF is away, life feels relatively shitty, and it's kind of a foreshadowing of how it'll be once college rolls around. No Girlfriend, Work, and school. A higher level of school than I've ever had to deal with. School that I have basically no option but to go into, and have no desire or goal for. I already feel empty, like something is always missing at the end of the day, and all of my free time is a total waste, and work is exhausting, and school is bound to be just awful, I really don't know how to deal with it all. My girlfriend and I were talking about changing everything, about taking a year off and figuring ourselves out and then probably moving to Canada to go to College and whatnot. I was really on board with this. I would've loved a way out, a way to not have to go through the multiple shitty years I'm about to go through, and instead live with the girl I love for longer and maybe go somewhere new. I've almost never left my state. And college is so much cheaper there, according to her. It would've been great, I just wanted a way out of the linear path I'm forced on now. But, we decided today that it was just impractical, considering she's already all signed up for her college and leased for an apartment. So I'm stuck back on track. Like I said before, my life SHOULD be pretty alright. I feel like it should be. I've got a lot of good going right now. Or maybe I don't, I don't know. I'm kind of just confused, and any advice would be nice I suppose. At the very least though, venting is still kinda nice.
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