• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Heigou;45191441]Hold me guys, I'm lost as fuk, 22 years old and I'm still not fully sure what to do with my life. A part of me doesn't value my life enough and wants to go to the army to do something "honorable" of it. However I might get accepted into a job all the way in Florida (I'm from Quebec), does anyone have experience working outside of their country?[/QUOTE] Questioning what to do can be compared with a prehistoric man perceiving his function in the tribe; "Are there enough hunters?" "Are there enough gatherers of water?" "Are there enough builders?" etc. Today, we experience identity crisis's because there are none of these questions to ask. Therefore we must employ a faith-based conviction like religion, honor or scientific exploration. Don't ask yourself what to do, ask yourself: What do you believe in?
[QUOTE=Heigou;45191441]Hold me guys, I'm lost as fuk, 22 years old and I'm still not fully sure what to do with my life. A part of me doesn't value my life enough and wants to go to the army to do something "honorable" of it. However I might get accepted into a job all the way in Florida (I'm from Quebec), does anyone have experience working outside of their country?[/QUOTE] This scares me so much, I can be anything I want. What if I take a 5 year education and find out I don't like the job? I don't think I can find a job I would genuinely love.
[QUOTE=Zar;45194771]This scares me so much, I can be anything I want. What if I take a 5 year education and find out I don't like the job? I don't think I can find a job I would genuinely love.[/QUOTE] A lot of people change their major several times throughout college. I'm not sure what your education system is like in your country but here we usually have to take about 2 years worth of general education courses (history, english, math, science, and a phys ed class) before taking upper-level classes specific to our major. If you aren't sure what to major in yet, you should focus on getting those classes out of the way while you try to figure it out. Most majors (here at least) also ask you to take a certain number of free electives, where you take a class from pretty much any subject that you want to, so you could explore different subjects by taking entry level classes on them while still having it benefit whatever major you end up with.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45195094]A lot of people change their major several times throughout college. I'm not sure what your education system is like in your country but here we usually have to take about 2 years worth of general education courses (history, english, math, science, and a phys ed class) before taking upper-level classes specific to our major. If you aren't sure what to major in yet, you should focus on getting those classes out of the way while you try to figure it out. Most majors (here at least) also ask you to take a certain number of free electives, where you take a class from pretty much any subject that you want to, so you could explore different subjects by taking entry level classes on them while still having it benefit whatever major you end up with.[/QUOTE] I can literally do whatever I want now. I'm done with my school. I'm gonna go take my 3 years of general education or what you call it, we call it gymnasium here. Then I can basicly study at ANY university for ANYTHING. Also I don't have to pay for shit, I will be getting money that I can live for. I just don't want to waste years of my life, ihonestly what I feel for right now is making music, I can barely play anything and I don't possess any special talent for it, but I love it. It would be a huge gamble to live a good life on a career like that. If I were to study programming instead, I would definitely be able to learn that well. I would get paid very handsomely over here where I live. But I would not enjoy it very much. I can't really think of anything else, I don't want a boring desk job.
[QUOTE=Zar;45195698]I can literally do whatever I want now. I'm done with my school. I'm gonna go take my 3 years of general education or what you call it, we call it gymnasium here. Then I can basicly study at ANY university for ANYTHING. Also I don't have to pay for shit, I will be getting money that I can live for. I just don't want to waste years of my life, ihonestly what I feel for right now is making music, I can barely play anything and I don't possess any special talent for it, but I love it. It would be a huge gamble to live a good life on a career like that. If I were to study programming instead, I would definitely be able to learn that well. I would get paid very handsomely over here where I live. But I would not enjoy it very much. I can't really think of anything else, I don't want a boring desk job.[/QUOTE] I'd start in Gymnasium as fast as possible (unless you really feel like doing 10th grade), and wanting to make music is not impossible to couple with studying at a Gymnasium. On the contrary, you might find some of the most talented people in these years - some Gymnasiums have a very music focused profile. If you live in the general Copenhagen area, I'd really advise you to apply for Sankt Annæ Gymnasium in Valby. Apart from doing the largest student musical in Northern Europe (don't really know who's making a larger one, but that's what they say), people are just so fucking talented (and willing to do music with you) that it's not even fun. And while Folkeskolen might be all fun and games, Gymnasium can actually (depending on the subject) prove to be something of a challenge. Studying programming at university doesn't really require good grades, but what if you figure out that you might want to be a doctor? That's what I did. If you feel like taking a break but not wasting time after you're done with Gymnasium, you can always apply for Højskoleophold - there are loads of them, you'll find something for you. Or take a job, whatever.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45195094]A lot of people change their major several times throughout college. I'm not sure what your education system is like in your country but here we usually have to take about 2 years worth of general education courses (history, english, math, science, and a phys ed class) before taking upper-level classes specific to our major. If you aren't sure what to major in yet, you should focus on getting those classes out of the way while you try to figure it out. Most majors (here at least) also ask you to take a certain number of free electives, where you take a class from pretty much any subject that you want to, so you could explore different subjects by taking entry level classes on them while still having it benefit whatever major you end up with.[/QUOTE] This - I switched from physics to computer science after my third year and I couldn't be happier
[QUOTE=Disseminate;45196590]This - I switched from physics to computer science after my third year and I couldn't be happier[/QUOTE] I originally went into college planning to do biochem so I could study neuroscience down the line. I decided about a year after that I'd go for a degree in psychology instead, which has pretty different course requirements, but pretty much every class I've taken so far would work for either degree (though some of them would count as free electives if I changed back at this point). I'm about to start my last semester to get my associate's, so I am a little bit nervous because after this I'll be taking only upper-level psych courses and will have passed the point where I can easily change majors. [editline]23rd June 2014[/editline] But I'm a bit more afraid of the fact that I'm taking public speaking.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45197518] But I'm a bit more afraid of the fact that I'm taking public speaking.[/QUOTE] It's a wall meant to be climbed over. Find challenges and topple them. There is sense of accomplishment in that.
I didn't realize it until the school year was almost over, but I developed a major thing for this one awkward girl who was hanging out with me. I'm not sure if it was mutual but we did playfully argue and mock each other a whole lot, it was very cute and heartwarming, shes really what I want from someone in a relationship. Now the issue is I've been over thinking about how to talk to this girl through Facebook or whatever without sounding like I'm coming on to her per say. I've scared myself right out of wanting to try and talk to her because I'm afraid she will think I'm a creep or something stupid. What do I even say to her? Stupid things like that, I worry too much.
Seems you're decently close to her, what's wrong with looking like you're coming on to her? Isn't that exactly what you want?
[QUOTE=ColdWave;45206712]I didn't realize it until the school year was almost over, but I developed a major thing for this one awkward girl who was hanging out with me. I'm not sure if it was mutual but we did playfully argue and mock each other a whole lot, it was very cute and heartwarming, shes really what I want from someone in a relationship. Now the issue is I've been over thinking about how to talk to this girl through Facebook or whatever without sounding like I'm coming on to her per say. I've scared myself right out of wanting to try and talk to her because I'm afraid she will think I'm a creep or something stupid. What do I even say to her? Stupid things like that, I worry too much.[/QUOTE] Just ask her out for coffee or something. It sounds like you two are pretty friendly towards each other, I doubt she'd think you're a creep.
I need some advice. I went to EDC Las Vegas this weekend at met a girl at a club on Thursday before EDC. We hung out for the rest of the night at the club and I gave her my number because she was going to get some party favors for us at EDC the next day. We ended up meeting up at EDC the next day (on Friday), and after I bought some goodies off her, we ended up both leaving our friends and we hung out the [I]whole[/I] night (~8 hours), just us two. So the next day I asked her if she wanted to hang out again, and she said OK and we met up and hung out together the whole night again (this time her friend and my friend were hanging out with us). That night, her friend came back to our hotel with my buddy, but "my" girl wanted to go back to her hotel so I didn't try and pressure her, I just walked her back to her hotel. The third night, we ended up hanging out again. We lost our friends so it was basically just us the whole night again. This time, she said she wanted to come back to our hotel, but after the shuttle ride home she changed her mind and so I walked her to her hotel again. During this whole time, we were dancing together, holding hands, hugging, kissing etc and it was one of the best things I have ever experienced. HOWEVER, once we became more sober, she took a long time to reply to my texts and never really said anything unless I said something first and seemed a little less interested. I'm not sure if she just became more shy when she was sober and doesn't want to express her feelings, or if it was just the alcohol talking the whole time and she isn't really into me. Or perhaps she can sense that I'm a little less expressive when I'm sober so she thinks I'm not interested (even though I text her) The bottom line is: We both left Las Vegas and I'm dying to keep in-touch with her so I can meet her again one day (next EDC), especially if she is interested in me. However, I can't tell if she is interested so I don't want to seem like an obsessive stalker while for her it was just "someone she met" and she is already moving on with her life. [B]TL;DR[/B] Met a girl in Las Vegas, we hit it off [B]really well[/B] while we were drunk/on drugs and she was expressing her feelings to me, but seemed to slow down when we were sober. When I text her she takes around an hour or more to respond, and she doesn't seem to text me first, only when I text her. I can't tell if she is actually interested, or it was just the alcohol doing all the talking. I'm dying to keep in touch with her if she is, but I might as well stop wasting me time if she isn't interested. Or perhaps I should just move on with my life anyway and find a girl who actually lives in my city. I'm sorry I sound like such a love drunk bastard.. This is the first time I have became this intimate with a girl I'm actually interested in. Anyone who reads this wall of text and gives me some advice will be much appreciated.
Whenever I get high I always amplify my emotions and then regret it after. She might not be interested. :L
[QUOTE=Electroholic;45215349] I'm sorry I sound like such a love drunk bastard.. This is the first time I have became this intimate with a girl I'm actually interested in. Anyone who reads this wall of text and gives me some advice will be much appreciated.[/QUOTE] Hey, I don't mean to be an asshole by saying all this, but you might want to take a few things into consideration. You were in Las Vegas. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", though not a rule it [I]is[/I] a common saying that easily make people loosen up and enjoy the moment, without worrying about feelings and relationships. You were drunk. [I]You were on drugs[/I]. This one shouldn't need an explanation. If you were hitting the sauce hard three nights in a row, injecting marijuanas and whatnot, this was probably way more of a major gamechanger rather than a small icebreaker. -I managed to delete a lot of what I wrote here by closing a tab- I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is to live on. If she isn't really answering to your affection now that the party is over, you should probably [B]appreciate those days[/B] for what they are instead of hoping on something better from that. There's too much in life for you to get hung up over a girl you met in Vegas. [editline]26th June 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=ColdWave;45206712]I didn't realize it until the school year was almost over, but I developed a major thing for this one awkward girl who was hanging out with me. I'm not sure if it was mutual but we did playfully argue and mock each other a whole lot, it was very cute and heartwarming, shes really what I want from someone in a relationship. Now the issue is I've been over thinking about how to talk to this girl through Facebook or whatever without sounding like I'm coming on to her per say. I've scared myself right out of wanting to try and talk to her because I'm afraid she will think I'm a creep or something stupid. What do I even say to her? Stupid things like that, I worry too much.[/QUOTE] If you're coming onto someone, the last thing you want to do is prentending you're not coming onto them. Just ask her out.
OFFICIALLY DONE WITH 10 YEARS OF SCHOOL. I got off with some good grades, I could definitely have done better in some of them, I made some really stupid mistakes. Overall I'm really happy.
[QUOTE=Electroholic;45215349]I went to EDC Las Vegas this weekend[/QUOTE] I wish I knew other facepunchers were going to EDC :'(
[QUOTE]I think you are a really nice and lovely person, but to be honest I found you to be quite different in real life from the person I had anticipated meeting. I like your real-life personality a lot, which goes without saying of course, but it wasn’t really what I was expecting. I was sort of hoping you’d be more chatty and engaging than which was experienced on Saturday. I know you told me on the day that it takes you a while to come out of your shell, but you didn’t really let me know in advance about the extent of your anxiety, so how little you interacted with me on the day came as quite a shock to me. I found the whole ordeal quite stressful and out of my comfort zone, esp given that I too have social anxiety issues! I feel a little bit vexed by the whole situation because it contrasted greatly to the impression you gave me having spoken to you for so many months over the internet, and admittedly I do feel a little betrayed and hurt by that. I know it wasn’t intentional on your part, but it is what it is. In addition, I just don’t feel ready to share so much emotional pain with you when I felt I was being offered an opportunity for some uncomplicated fun, which didn’t involve any pressures to be an emotional crutch for a new friend. As you know, I have quite a lot on my plate at the moment, and equally have my own inner demons to deal with. I am finding my pharmacy work particularly taxing and tiresome, especially when trying to keep up appearances in the lab in front of all the scientists and clever people, when I simply have no idea what’s going on! Things are starting to get busier in the lab now that I’ve settled in, so my workload will only increase from here. I am genuinely sorry, I think you are great and [...][/QUOTE] I'm fucking useless Some backstory: [QUOTE]Soon after starting secondary school I began to unintentionally turn to misanthropy, and my social anxiety also started around this time. I don't know why this was really. I just wasn't bothered about people that much. Towards the end of school I started to break out of the misanthropy and attempted to return to normality, but this entailed me trying to fit in with groups who honestly weren't very much like me. I can't say I had much choice anyway, and that's how it mainly stayed. I've done a lot of that and I cringe when I look back on it. I have enough 'friends' but to me they just feel like acquaintances. I also have little in common with my childhood friends. I mean, they're all good people and I enjoy hanging out with them from time to time, but there's just not enough 'there' to motivate me do much more with them. Knowing I was going to change university didn't help either (along the with anxiety/shyness ofc), I just didn't feel like making potential long-term friends because of that. Sometimes I think that there's no one or at least very few people I'm all that close to and have a meaningful relationship with, and that's 100% true, probably. Lots of notions of being in the wrong place, or with the wrong people. Some kind of dysphoria. I've never been in a relationship also. I enjoy my own company just fine, but there's a limit. I occasionally feel lonely, especially as of late. And sometimes you've got to find motivation and purpose in other people, not only yourself. Everyone seeks a relationship to fulfill something in themselves, that's a given. It's usually something you're not fully aware of or just can't explain, but maybe it's not a great sign when it's because of a multitude of things you are aware of and can explain, possibly things I've mentioned here. Then I think it potentially becomes much more about yourself than the other person. Selfishness. I don't know if that's me and I hope it isn't. [...] I rarely find people I like all that much. Sorry if I expected too much. I've been on a bit of a downer and have felt lost for a while now. Just do not know what to think in all honesty[/QUOTE] My social anxiety has been getting worse as of late and I'm gradually becoming more disillusioned with everything in my life It doesn't help that I've mostly kept all this to myself
[QUOTE=RobbL;45222671]I'm fucking useless[/QUOTE] That paragraph the girl I assume you went out with comes off as pretty rude. It sounds like that was the first time you were really meeting in person so that personality analysis she sent you is way too much for how well you knew each other. A "sorry, I'm not interested" should have sufficed (unless you were pressuring her for a full response like that?), no needs for comments like "wow I had no idea your emotional disorders were so crippling!" [editline]26th June 2014[/editline] Also, it's likely that your social anxiety is getting worse because you're feeding it. You said yourself that you've started keeping to yourself and lost interest in meeting others. It can be tough but you need to constantly push yourself out of your comfort zone if you want to overcome it. Eventually you realize that not everyone is going to reject you and the ones who do usually have their own reasons that have nothing to do with you.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45223553]That paragraph the girl I assume you went out with comes off as pretty rude. It sounds like that was the first time you were really meeting in person so that personality analysis she sent you is way too much for how well you knew each other. A "sorry, I'm not interested" should have sufficed (unless you were pressuring her for a full response like that?), no needs for comments like "wow I had no idea your emotional disorders were so crippling!" [/QUOTE] We'd been talking for a few months before we met up. The next day she told me she'd like to see me again, but not as a date. I had doubts about this and told her I didn't know whether I'd want that, and talked about if it would be best not to bother with it at all. One thing led to another until I ended venting a lot of things out to her that I'd kept to myself for a long time. She offered similar advice to your own and I later admitted it was a knee-jerk reaction to suggest never seeing each other again. So I asked her if she honestly wanted to meet up for a second time and that was her reply [editline]27th June 2014[/editline] I made a rushed reply to her message with this. I really didn't know what to say so it's not great. [QUOTE]I feel as if my anxiety holds back my personality, but as long as you haven't achieved powers of telepathy you're going to see it as a different personality altogether. I know what you mean. I'm also sorry if you feel I've wasted your time in leading you to think you'd in a way be meeting up with a different person. The problem is I can't see myself as being much different anytime soon in the sense of being quiet upon getting to know someone for the first time. I don't think drugs or counseling will change who I am to such an extent. The only solution is patience on both sides to see myself break out of it when I've gotten used to that person. To be fair, I'm not in a position where I can see the nature and severity of my problems with clarity. I think it's just accepting it and being open about for the first time that blows it out of proportion in my mind and how I express it. Idk. What I do know is that it's nothing serious compared to many people's situations. Trust me, my mum comes out with some shocking stories about the students she works with. It was bad judgement to expect an emotional crutch. I knew you had your own problems, but saw that as a reason to expect empathy instead of a reason to not occupy you with more than you can handle. It was selfish, I'm sorry. I'll wait until I'm of a better mindset to judge all this, I think.[/QUOTE] And then she sent back this: [QUOTE]I wasn't asking you to justify or defend yourself. I just wanted you to have a clear understanding of where I'm coming from, and my reasoning behind what I'm saying. You don't need to explain yourself, least of all to me. It's not that I don't understand where you're coming from, I do, I just don't fancy supplying the first 8 dates' worth of conversation. Socialising IS hard, but it does get easier the more you practice. I agree, it is ideal for both parties to be patient in order for you to relax and become more comfortable, but how realistic is it, in dating terms? It is an investment and commitment for the person who doesn't know you yet, and it is quite a lot to ask of someone upfront. I found it incredibly hard, and I know I couldn't keep it up in the hopes that I might THEN find the real you. It's time-consuming, and a gamble and a risk for a prospective partner to engage in. I'm not sure how successful you will be if you expect such consideration and patience from people who don't even know you yet. Dating is scary and it sucks but you really just have to speak a lot and say stupid things until it becomes easier. I don't mean to be rude or horrible to you, I'm just trying to convey how I feel in the most honest way possible, and I think I owe you that. I'm quite clumsy with my words, I'm sorry if it came across brash and offensive, I mean only warm feelings Only you know what you are like; the other person is totally blind to it. How is it feasible to expect their time and commitment when they don't know what they're in for? Bit of a lucky dip, if you like I know in an ideal world ppl would do that. but they suck. I suck. I feel awful for saying all this to you but I would rather get it out there than not try and give u an outsider's perspective of it. i am one of the more patient people i know and i canny not do it. again, u dont have to reply, sorry for being so frank about it. xx[/QUOTE] [editline]27th June 2014[/editline] to which I replied: [QUOTE]Patience has to be backed up with something else for it to manifest itself in the first place. Knowing that it'll be worth it, some sort of motivation to persevere. Expecting that just isn't realistic though, I know. It was a purely hypothetical solution. Without that extra something from the other person, you have to provide it yourself. It's finding it that is the problem for me. It was deluded of me to think that speaking to you for a few months, as is not usual prior to a date, would absolve me of this whole hurdle. But who is anyone to know that I'll change or that the impression they got of me online would soon show through? I know you mean well, dw about it. I prefer openness and honestly than fake niceness. Criticism is more useful than false praise.[/QUOTE] also, I did some research and am sure I have a mild form of avoidant personality disorder
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45217515]Hey, I don't mean to be an asshole by saying all this, but you might want to take a few things into consideration. You were in Las Vegas. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", though not a rule it [I]is[/I] a common saying that easily make people loosen up and enjoy the moment, without worrying about feelings and relationships. You were drunk. [I]You were on drugs[/I]. This one shouldn't need an explanation. If you were hitting the sauce hard three nights in a row, injecting marijuanas and whatnot, this was probably way more of a major gamechanger rather than a small icebreaker. -I managed to delete a lot of what I wrote here by closing a tab- I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is to live on. If she isn't really answering to your affection now that the party is over, you should probably [B]appreciate those days[/B] for what they are instead of hoping on something better from that. There's too much in life for you to get hung up over a girl you met in Vegas. [/QUOTE] Thanks for the advice man, it's been a few days since I left Vegas so I'm less of an emotional mess about the experience being over and I'm getting over it. The good news is I have been chatting with her for the past couple hours, but I'm no longer expecting anything out of it. [QUOTE=Disseminate;45218076]I wish I knew other facepunchers were going to EDC :'([/QUOTE] Holy shit! I would have met up with you (and others) for sure if I knew anyone was going. I never really thought about asking if anyone else was going :( I'll be there next year. Cya there? :v:
@RobbL Dont want to sound rude but she is looking for a different personality. She may have had expectations on which you did not align well. Not your fault, you don't have to change who you are for someone. Compromising is not a good start for relationship. Its easier to bail out now instead of wallowing in sorrow later. Take this as an opportunity to improve in dating game rather than personally. Dont tell the weaker side of you to anyone unless you are like best friends and not going for a relationship. Circumstances may change. But don't waste your precious time which you can utilize much better.
[QUOTE=RobbL;45223917]We'd been talking for a few months before we met up. The next day she told me she'd like to see me again, but not as a date. I had doubts about this and told her I didn't know whether I'd want that, and talked about if it would be best not to bother with it at all. One thing led to another until I ended venting a lot of things out to her that I'd kept to myself for a long time. She offered similar advice to your own and I later admitted it was a knee-jerk reaction to suggest never seeing each other again. So I asked her if she honestly wanted to meet up for a second time and that was her reply[/QUOTE] Okay, that makes more sense - on her part, at least. Suggesting to never see each other again is a bit melodramatic. [quote]also, I did some research and am sure I have a mild form of avoidant personality disorder[/QUOTE] You really need to stop self-diagnosing mental disorders. Self diagnosis is a short term treatment for self esteem issues and it will only hurt you in the long run. Here's the thing with mental disorders: If you aren't going to do anything about them, they don't matter. Knowing you have a mental disorder helps if you plan to seek therapy, seek medication, and talk to other people with the disorder to get insight on dealing with it. You need to stop using mental problems as an excuse for your behavior and focus on correcting it instead. Having a mental disorder means having a problem that doesn't get better without the help of therapy or medication, but based on what you've said about your antisocial behavior, I'm positive that you haven't done much to correct your problems as is. When it comes to dealing with mental health without professional aid, it isn't about just being correct or accurate. It's about thinking and behaving in a way that's beneficial to your own health. Stagnating your own progress in overcoming problems by telling yourself that you have an uncontrollable disadvantage is not beneficial to you in any way. [editline]26th June 2014[/editline] [quote]Patience has to be backed up with something else for it to manifest itself in the first place. Knowing that it'll be worth it, some sort of motivation to persevere.[/quote] If you want to meet someone great, you need to be the best person you can be. You know what your difficulties are - you need to recognize that you're in control of them and are able to improve. Asking someone to accept your flaws should be reserved for flaws that are out of your control. I know you don't mean it this way, but asking someone else to carry your burden because you won't is selfish and a pretty unrealistic expectation for a potential partner. You also introduced that idea incredibly early in your relationship with this girl.
So right now I'm on my way to see my grandmother whom I haven't spoken to in years. Little back story, she has dementia. Before she was diagnosed, she started turning on a lot of family members and causing drama in the family. Eventually, sweetest old lady I knew who held me in the highest regard started saying negative things about me behind my back. It progressively got worse and I started disliking visiting her less and less. Somewhere along the line, something snapped when she misinterpreted a sarcastic joke as me being serious and just wouldn't talk to me. That was the last I spoke to her. She has since turned on most of the rest of the family and eventually landed out of state to live with her granddaughter and then into a nursing home (or maybe assisted living, not sure). I feel like I should see her again and hope she isn't still bitter about the past. I know she's ill and her animosity towards others is because of that, rather than her own true self. If I don't take the opportunity, I could very well not have another, because I know she isn't getting better. Wish me luck, I hope things go well.
Met a girl. Were kind of long distance but we've been texting non stop all day and we talked on the phone all night. I'm feeling pretty good about this
How do you tell if you're moving too fast? I've never been in a relationship before this one and we're already doing 3rd base kinda stuff, but it's ionly been a month so I feel that's too fast. I'm really fucking nervous about all of this.
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;45234299]How do you tell if you're moving too fast? I've never been in a relationship before this one and we're already doing 3rd base kinda stuff, but it's ionly been a month so I feel that's too fast. I'm really fucking nervous about all of this.[/QUOTE] All that matters is if it's mutual and neither of you are uncomfortable. There's no universal speed.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45234434]All that matters is if it's mutual and neither of you are uncomfortable. There's no universal speed.[/QUOTE] I'm comfortable, I guess, my only fear is that we have nothing to work towards in the relationship you know cause I don't really know how it's supposed to work cause right now it's like, she's my friend that I really [I]really [/I] like spending time with and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to build it to more and I'm an idiot and im sorry
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;45234508]I'm comfortable, I guess, my only fear is that we have nothing to work towards in the relationship you know cause I don't really know how it's supposed to work cause right now it's like, she's my friend that I really [I]really [/I] like spending time with and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to build it to more and I'm an idiot and im sorry[/QUOTE] Sex is a learning process. Your first time is probably going to be awkward and just suck. The trick is to communicate about what you like and don't like. The more time you spend with your partner, the more you'll become attuned to what their preferences are. And once you get bored of normal sex, there are lots of toys out there to play with. [editline]27th June 2014[/editline] How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm only 18. I know, I'm really fucking behind on that front. I hadn't really found anyone I wanted to share a connection that personal with until recently. I don't mean to sound pretentious I mean there's people who I'dve boned but you know, it's supposed to be a personal bonding you know
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;45234652]I'm only 18. I know, I'm really fucking behind on that front. I hadn't really found anyone I wanted to share a connection that personal with until recently. I don't mean to sound pretentious I mean there's people who I'dve boned but you know, it's supposed to be a personal bonding you know[/QUOTE] Don't worry about "being behind" - I'd actually feel a bit bad giving you any of this advice if you were much younger. IMO it's better to leave sex for when you're emotionally mature enough to understand its significance and can enjoy it without having to sneak around your parents. Sex with someone you don't love is still enjoyable (if your partner is any good, at least), but having a personal connection makes it much more intimate.
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