• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
Apparently I come off as arrogant and a "know it all"? Those are the last words I would use to describe myself, honestly. [editline]8th July 2014[/editline] Ignore the avatar.
what was the context for the situation when someone called you that? also the reason i asked about age is that this girl's showing a lot of interest in me but she's a bit older than I'd normally consider, and by that I mean six years, which feels like a lot. I'm 22 and she's 28 and my biggest issue with that is I seriously doubt I'm mature enough to not fuck that up. That doesn't necessarily mean it's doomed to fail, I suppose it would depend on whether or not she's fine with that. I still feel weird about my own mental maturity sometimes, but then again I don't want to compare myself to other people because that's usually not a good thing to do.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45324177]A scratch isn't a big deal, it's not like you gave her rabies or something. If she was really in pain, she probably would have let you know. I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure you keep your nails trimmed (if you don't already) and.. y'know... don't scratch. [editline]8th July 2014[/editline] And it's honestly not that painful from my experience. It's nothing compared to having a guy try to shove their dick in your ass without letting you know beforehand...[/QUOTE] Yeah, a bit of scrathing isn't always that bad :v: First time me and my probably-gonna-be-gf-again had sex, something got torn near the opening. Now add that to having sex for an hour. And squirting five minutes in and onwards And no lights. It wasn't pretty It was pretty scary, and I thought for a long time that I really hurt her, but all she had felt was a weird feeling in the start, and then just a "warm" feeling from there on. [editline]9th July 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45324319]If you hurt her, trust me, you'll know it. Don't worry about it at all. You should also talk with your girlfriend about how things were after sex and discuss what you can do to improve it next time.[/QUOTE] This. The best you can do is listen and communicate. If you lie down with your head next to your SO while doing whatever you do, you should also be able to hear if they are enjoying it, supressing pain or just not that into it. It's also a good idea to talk about what they like and what they actually want you to do.
Context: Turns out it was a misunderstanding, but I was talking about the world cup and how I don't normally like sports but I enjoy the world cup comparing it to the Olympics. She said they weren't comparable at all and said how "every sport is played everywhere." I interpreted it out of context and thought she literally meant that every sport in existence is played everywhere in the world. (silly me) I remarked by saying how a lot of popular American sports aren't really played internationally, etc. She took this as me going off on a tangent to somehow prove that I know everything about everything when I'm pretty explicit about the fact that I don't. I guess I can see how someone would take it that way, but "going off on a tanget" should have been a pretty clear indicator that she wasn't saying what I thought she was saying. [editline]9th July 2014[/editline] All this talk about sex made me check to see if I was posting in the right thread.
yeah it's p weird to hear about internet people having sex like why are you even on this site
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45335081]yeah it's p weird to hear about internet people having sex like why are you even on this site[/QUOTE] ...while you could be having sex!
Maybe y'all can help as I've gotten myself into kind of a large predicament. I've known this girl for the better part of 6 years for 5 of those she's been with a friend of mine. they broke up about a year ago and shit happened between us we fooled around yadda yadda for various reasons they got back together but anymore he treats her like shit and well they are polar opposites I'm honestly surprised they've made it this long . Now lately she has made it abundantly clear she likes me and well I can't say I haven't caught some feelings for her too and we've talked at length about the fact that they're going to break up and soon at that. That's brought some major problems as A. as much as I try to keep my feelings on the down low her BF/my friend isn't stupid (he doesn't know what happened last year) and when I get drunk well I'm very flirty with her and same with her towards me and B. If we do end up getting together at some point I'd like to 1. keep my skull unperforated because even though I got 145 pounds and 6" on him if I don't play this right he'll try his damnedest to stab me and 2. despite the fact I've caught feelings for his Gf I'd like to keep him as a friend if at all possible So WTF do I do in this situation? I can give more information if need be
First of all, it's my opinion that it's not a really good idea to get together with someone that "conspires" behind their partner's back like this. If you're so self confident things like that won't bother you, that's great! But otherwise, you'll know that she'll rather tend to her feelings between someone else instead of fixing the relationship, or ending the relationship first. If you really think you're going to get murdered over a fucking girl, don't do it. You shouldn't be thinking about how you don't get stabbed for picking up the "sloppy seconds" right after a breakup. And to be honest, I don't know a lot of guys that would let something like what you're trying to do, just slide. You can pretty much expect one of you to be excluded from some social circles you have in common. A lot of this can vary, ofcourse. But trying to get a relationship out of this is a really bad idea. Let both parties end the relationship properly and to get over it all, because if you two get together now, it'll be more about her breakup and she moving on rather than actually wanting to be with you.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45335081]yeah it's p weird to hear about internet people having sex like why are you even on this site[/QUOTE] Sex is considered a pretty taboo subject most of the time, and this thread and its sister thread are both pretty open in terms of discussing sex. Because it's such a taboo subject for most people it's hard to find people who are comfortable providing advice/support in that area. On top of that, anonymity makes it a lot easier to discuss personal experiences/preferences without feeling like you're being judged for it. There are enough communities out there making people feel like they should be ashamed of their sexuality, please don't try to bring that attitude in here.
That was sarcasm
Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text.
[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;45324400] the thing is and I bury the thought as much as possible but she is my first "[B]rea[/B]l" girlfriend so if anything she can't possibly stick around long term , it simply wouldn't be healthy for either of us. You need experience [/QUOTE] Laddy, tell me more about your virtual girlfriends.
ok I didn't have a chance to ask that girl what everyone's doing tomorrow so I might ask her on FB and if someone will be meeting I might ask about that if I can join.
Been trying to contact that one girl I sorta had a thing for, to try and sooner rather then later, ask her out and it seems like she is ignoring me, I honestly have no clue why that would be as the last time we saw each other things were pretty normal, we had this great playful argument about trees of all things and just talked a little bit about wanting to hang out during these summer months. It's sort of a shame at this point, I really thought that me and this girl had some sort of connection. I mean at the very least I didn't think she would ignore me approaching her as a friend. I look back on shit like this though and it sorta haunts me, regretful as fuck nature, I always probe myself trying to figure out what went wrong and part of my depression stems from shitty regrets like not acting on one opportunity or another..
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45335081]yeah it's p weird to hear about internet people having sex like why are you even on this site[/QUOTE] I have no qualms about talking about sex. I was pointing out that this type of discussion usually happens in the SGF&S thread, hence why I made sure I was posting in the right one. [editline]9th July 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=ColdWave;45337425]Been trying to contact that one girl I sorta had a thing for, to try and sooner rather then later, ask her out and it seems like she is ignoring me, I honestly have no clue why that would be as the last time we saw each other things were pretty normal, we had this great playful argument about trees of all things and just talked a little bit about wanting to hang out during these summer months. It's sort of a shame at this point, I really thought that me and this girl had some sort of connection. I mean at the very least I didn't think she would ignore me approaching her as a friend. I look back on shit like this though and it sorta haunts me, regretful as fuck nature, I always probe myself trying to figure out what went wrong and part of my depression stems from shitty regrets like not acting on one opportunity or another..[/QUOTE] What is she doing/not doing to make you think she's ignoring you?
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;45338674]I have no qualms about talking about sex. I was pointing out that this type of discussion usually happens in the SGF&S thread, hence why I made sure I was posting in the right one. [editline]9th July 2014[/editline] What is she going/not doing to make you think she's ignoring you.[/QUOTE] Well I've tried multiple forms of contact, a facebook message just simply saying "hey, hows it going" and texting. I'm fairly certain though that she has seen these messages but no response has come my way. It really is weird though, I don't recall ever doing anything that would have made her mad or upset with me.
Just stop trying, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45339074]Just stop trying, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you.[/QUOTE] Yeah I do realize that now, I didn't bother with more then like one Facebook message and a text. It just hurts to have someone who was a really good friend just ignore me, I hate losing friends.
[QUOTE=ColdWave;45339301]Yeah I do realize that now, I didn't bother with more then like one Facebook message and a text. It just hurts to have someone who was a really good friend just ignore me, I hate losing friends.[/QUOTE] It's really not uncommon for girls to drop all contacts when guys start having a thing for them, especially because a lot of people wont take a hint, or just act awkward around them after being told what's up.
this might help let's say you're good at moving furniture. you don't think you're that good at it, necessarily, but a lot of people do and frequently request that you help them move furniture. you don't really want to help them do that but at the same time you feel a bit awkward telling them to move it themselves so instead it's easier to just distance yourself from people who want their furniture moved. you like them as people but quite frankly don't really want to help them move furniture around because the last time you did that you threw your back out. which normally isn't that bad but you generally go through life with people either asking directly for your help to move their furniture or trying to play the long con and EVENTUALLY move their furniture. you get invited to parties and you like the people at the parties but you can't help but feel like you were invited to move some couches around, and inevitably you'll start to just be wary of anyone with furniture because you're so used to them trying to get you to move their furniture. that's what being a girl is like. probably.
Exams in 3 weeks. I've met a bunch of awesome people but we're all hunkering down to study. Bad timing!
Page 210 helped me alot, thanks guys/gals! It was mainly good to read some of this stuff related to sex, as i don't feel like i have anyone to talk about it with. Relationships too.
[QUOTE=ColdWave;45337425]I mean at the very least I didn't think she would ignore me approaching her as a friend.[/QUOTE] The thing is you're not. Even if you think you're subtle it's probably painfully obvious that you have feelings for her. She probably doesn't want to be the one to bring it up first if you haven't said anything outright yet (seeing as you'd probably outright deny it if you got rejected before admitting your feelings for her), so it's easier to just distance herself from you. [QUOTE=Zinayzen;45340719]this might help you get invited to parties and you like the people at the parties but you can't help but feel like you were invited to move some couches around, and inevitably you'll start to just be wary of anyone with furniture because you're so used to them trying to get you to move their furniture.[/QUOTE] Strange metaphor but these last few lines were completely correct. I realized a few weeks ago that my failed attempts at having platonic friendships with guys has made me incredibly paranoid at making new friends. One of my friends I'm not that close with hugged me and I spent the next few hours wondering if we were going to have drama two weeks down the line before I realized how absurd that was. I have serious trust issues at this point because I assume that people only are talking to me because they want something and I've seen how far they'll go without taking a hint.
it's a strange metaphor because men are dumb and somehow that gets the point across because we've all had to move furniture
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45341832]it's a strange metaphor because men are dumb and somehow that gets the point across because we've all had to move furniture[/QUOTE] i had to move furniture today. a mouse got inside my room thanks to my cats. that took 4 hours to get out
so if anyone cares to read all this and give me a scolding or advice or whatever, i just want to vent this because i have a desperate feeling of [I]"i dont know what to do but i want to take action and fix this"[/I] i know shes my first girlfriend and those usually don't last, but this is different: we both still have feelings for eachother. yesterday me and my wonderful first girlfriend broke up after being together for almost 4 months even though we still both have confirmed that we have feelings for eachother. it didn't hit me as hard at first because i was sort of prepared that it might happen for a while. she is a very very devoted cosplayer and is going to university next year and lives 68 miles from me. we met at our "college" in january and got together in march. while studying she lived in the school dorm rooms and i regularly slept over and we hung out. i thought everything was fucking wonderful until the end of the term in early june, i had been feeling something was off for a while because she didn't seem that into it. it was just a little at first. she contacted me at midsummer asking me if i wanted to come over and meet her family, and stay there for a week which i did and we had a great time toward the end of my stay i was noticing even more that she wasn't seeming into it so i started worrying she was unhappy with me, she assured me i make her happy and that she loves me. i get home and two weeks later she contacts me with [I]"I've been thinking alot the last weeks and I honestly dont think I'm ready for a relationship since there is already so much going on in my life that the relationship gets put on last place... It feels horrible to do this toward you and I probably just need to be myself a while more, without being in a relationship. I hope you find someone who can have you as number one in everything..."[/I] it barely hit me hard at all as i thought it would in that moment, i tried to save it by letting her know i dont require to be at number one because i haven't even noticed "not being number one" at all and i'm perfectly fine with what we already had. she says shes sure about this and she doesnt have the strength to be in a relationship today when i realized that we both confirmed that we still love eachother but the fact that she says she doesn't have the strength to be in a relationship is the worst fucking part. i just broke into tears completely over this single thought more than i did when we actually broke up and i'm currently sitting here desperately wanting to message her saying i want to talk to her and solve this. even though thanks to a good mutual buddy i had a talk with about it: i realized that it must've been hard having such a demanding hobby whilst being afraid to not make me feel as if i'm not part of her life whilst attending cosplays, numerous other things and trying to manage a long distance relationship with me. and even though the same mutual buddy said and got me to realize: [I]"hey but since she still has you friended on facebook and everywhere, means she doesn't want you completely gone out of her life."[/I] [I]"and you've had and will still have a person (her) who cares about you. she will NOT stop caring about you just because she thinks the relationship wont work out. and believe me i think this will get solved after all"[/I] i just want to take action [B]right fucking now[/B] and just do something to solve this shit together with her but i know that it will just manage to push her away but i just don't know what to do. theres an entire unbearable month and 15 days until the next term starts, i know i [B]can[/B] actually wait out that time until i get to meet her in person again but i keep imagining that i [B]CAN'T[/B] wait that time seriously clingy, i know, but it's at it's worst right now and i'm completely breaking together over this thought of just wanting to take any action to fix this. i probably contradicted myself several times in this text aswell but i can't concentrate on shit
Oh my god I'm going insane living in this house. My bf's parents have an African parrot (which talks in both Russian and English), a lapdog named Iriska, which is of course a yappy little shit, and a husky named Artemis who's super happy and oblivious to all the problems of the world. The lapdog hates me and will start growling and barking every time I move, regardless of where either of us are in the house. If anyone comes within 50 yards of our house she also starts barking. She also will occasionally forget she hates me and snuggle up with me, only to remember who I am a few minutes later. I haven't slept for more than 3 consecutive hours because of her. Last night, every time she finally fell asleep, Artemis would start bothering her to try and get her to play. At 4:30AM. Then at 6AM, after Iriska had managed to shut up for about 10 consecutive minutes, I woke up to Artie's face 5 inches from mine, sitting at the edge of the bed and silently staring at me. In two days I've managed to unintentionally teach the bird to screech "SHUT UP" from how many times I've had to yell at the little dog. I'm worried what other phrases she's going to pick up at this rate. Right now they're in choir practice right outside my door. I'm trying to have dinner in peace. The bird is singing, Artemis is howling like it's the end of the world, and now Iriska is howling with her... what the fuck is going on
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45342168]Oh my god I'm going insane living in this house. My bf's parents have an African parrot (which talks in both Russian and English), a lapdog named Iriska, which is of course a yappy little shit, and a husky named Artemis who's super happy and oblivious to all the problems of the world. The lapdog hates me and will start growling and barking every time I move, regardless of where either of us are in the house. If anyone comes within 50 yards of our house she also starts barking. She also will occasionally forget she hates me and snuggle up with me, only to remember who I am a few minutes later. I haven't slept for more than 3 consecutive hours because of her. Last night, every time she finally fell asleep, Artemis would start bothering her to try and get her to play. At 4:30AM. Then at 6AM, after Iriska had managed to shut up for about 10 consecutive minutes, I woke up to Artie's face 5 inches from mine, sitting at the edge of the bed and silently staring at me. In two days I've managed to unintentionally teach the bird to screech "SHUT UP" from how many times I've had to yell at the little dog. I'm worried what other phrases she's going to pick up at this rate. Right now they're in choir practice right outside my door. I'm trying to have dinner in peace. The bird is singing, Artemis is howling like it's the end of the world, and now Iriska is howling with her... what the fuck is going on[/QUOTE] I'm no dog whisperer, but it could be that they're excited about new stuff happening (you being there). Maybe they'll get used to it.
[QUOTE=Zar;45342310]I'm no dog whisperer, but it could be that they're excited about new stuff happening (you being there). Maybe they'll get used to it.[/QUOTE] You're probably right, I just wish I could start sleeping again. Bf's mom is gone for three weeks and his dad is only home Friday-Sunday, so there isn't anyone else to take the dogs off our hands. Usually they sleep with his parents, so we're supposed to let them sleep in our room but Iriska won't sit the fuck down and Artie keeps riling her up. We tried closing the door and leaving them in the hallway and had to listen to Iriska growl for 20 minutes straight.
You got a russian boyfriend?
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