Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Dooskington]

What's a good birthday gift for a girl that likes me? I'm probably going to be dating her starting some time closer to September, I asked her out earlier this year and her parents wouldn't let her until around that time :l

I'm thinking of sending her a box of stuff with a letter or something, One of the things I'm putting in there is a buttload of her favorite candy ( Lemonheads ). I don't know what else to get her. I don't want to get jewelry, that seems too romantic. I want to keep it below $50. She is Irish, and pretty in touch with her heritage, so maybe something that had to do with that would be cool. Does anybody have any ideas?

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=Rapist;45364820]Girlfriend's going to a summer camp where you only speak English for a week (We're Estonian) and she said "also don't worry I'm not interested in any guys there, I'm not going to forget you"

why did you even say that D:

I mean I trust her completely and I get what she was trying to say, but being told that just makes me nervous[/QUOTE]

It shouldn't be too bad, keep yourself occupied and the week will fly by. Hopefully your girlfriend has an amazing time, and you don't spend the entire week sitting in a cloud of paranoia. Then when she gets back, she'll be happy that you were mature about her going away and didn't grill her everyday on who she hung out with.

And like everyone else said, she probably said that to put you at ease.

[Orkel]

[QUOTE=Zar;45366670]any plans for what you are gonna do?

[editline]12th July 2014[/editline]

i have no idea where in the world you are, but over here the weather is amazing, and a trip to the beach is the obvious choice[/QUOTE]

Ya the weather has been insanely good here as well, 25-28 celsius with clear blue skies all week long and it'll continue for atleast another week. I'm not a fan of clockwork plans and neither is she, so we'll just meet up at a riverside park and decide everything on the flow.

[fritzel]

[QUOTE=Duskling;45366811]What's a good birthday gift for a girl that likes me? I'm probably going to be dating her starting some time closer to September, I asked her out earlier this year and her parents wouldn't let her until around that time :l

I'm thinking of sending her a box of stuff with a letter or something, One of the things I'm putting in there is a buttload of her favorite candy ( Lemonheads ). I don't know what else to get her. I don't want to get jewelry, that seems too romantic. I want to keep it below $50. She is Irish, and pretty in touch with her heritage, so maybe something that had to do with that would be cool. Does anybody have any ideas?[/QUOTE]

A book ? Something that she can keep.

The Book Thief hardback looks like a good gift to me.

or

A wind chime.

[Zinayzen]

Orkel, remember to bring a magnum condom and drop it by accident. Make sure she sees it. Also make sure to say "oops, I dropped my MAGNUM CONDOM for my MAGNUM DONG". That should help.

[KristoferKSR]

[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45368410]Orkel, remember to bring a magnum condom and drop it by accident. Make sure she sees it. Also make sure to say "oops, I dropped my MAGNUM CONDOM for my MAGNUM DONG". That should help.[/QUOTE]

this always works

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=D3TBS;45365926]First I would say that before you start teaching you should know the instrument obviously, but you should also know how to teach the instrument. Even if you know how to use it well, teaching is a whole different thing. Like, sometimes a friend of mine would occasionally ask me "Hey how do you do this so well, can you teach me?" and I would be like "I dont know, I just go with the feeling or something I guess" which is total bullshit anyway,
So maybe watch a couple of youtube videos, to get the feeling of how you would explain the kids what to do instead of just "just do it like this". And yes, a structure would also help a lot.

As for starting for free, I guess you should start cheap, but not free. People are paying for your knowledge. But since you say youre not an expert maybe you shouldnt charge that much. Just look around, see what other people are charging. I see posters around my neighbourhood advertising singing classes, most say that the first hour is free.[/QUOTE]

I was actually giving lessons to my roommate for a little while so I slightly know what to expect, just haven't taught kids yet. Working with 7 year olds will be a lot harder since they'll have trouble with a lot of stuff I take for granted (like knowing which hand is left or right).

Thankfully I found out there are several sites dedicated to teaching kids piano and managed to find a pretty good lesson plan with videos. I'm thinking about visiting a nearby music and arts center when I get a chance and thumbing through a few workbooks to get a general idea of how to do things (and pick a book for students to use in the future).

My main worry is always going to be keeping lessons fun for whoever I'm teaching. With kids especially, they're not necessarily taking lessons because they want to.

[Loopoo]

With regards to making the lessons fun, as long as you're cheery and enthusiastic, that's as much as you can do. If the kid is still determined to sulk and be angry over the fact they are being forced to attend piano lessons, it'll be hard to persuade them otherwise.

Plus, positive feedback and making the kid feel like they're progressing really well will be incentive enough for them to enjoy it.

When I was a kid, the tutors I enjoyed going to were always the happy and cheerful ones. The tutors who were strict and serious always made me dread going and I never enjoyed it.

[editline]12th July 2014[/editline]

Also, keep a little box with sweets nearby. I remember how chuffed I'd be when my tutor would tell me how great I'd done and give me a sweet at the end of the lesson.

[Guy Mannly]

You're probably right - I'm probably overthinking it. I've never had trouble getting along with kids but I always get nervous about talking to them anyway.

The website I was looking through suggested some "games" to teach certain concepts, like tracing an outline of a kid's hand and having them put stickers on whatever hand/finger you say (since the finger numbering system can get confusing for kids, especially those who have trouble telling left from right). I'll probably try to focus on activities like that early on to help them get correct posture and hand positioning down.

[Ashtiel]

[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45308745]Never thought I'd have to turn to advice but here we go.

I've been in a long distance relationship with my best friend of 4 years since February. Things started off quite well, but started to go to shit around May. She started to be gone at random intervals, sometimes taking a day or more to respond while in the middle of a conversation. I understand people have lives, but it doesn't help that Skype is stuck showing them as "Online" all the time since they apparently don't know how to log out of the Skype app on their phone. Then I just stopped doing calls with her altogether since every time I left and came back, her mic was muted, therefore defeating the whole point of it.

Fast forward to now I wanted to try to remedy things and try a call again, so on Tuesday she said "oh well not right now maybe wednesday if i'm not doing anything" So I asked again on Wednesday, nothing. Thursday, nothing. Friday, nothing but I wasn't too worried about that since it [I]was[/I] the 4th of July.

I try again on Saturday, and her status randomly updates with "wow okay yeah im done im just fucking finished". This was probably directed towards me, so I just left this and went to bed;

Wake up, and see no response besides her status has changed back to generic song lyrics. Even if I seemed like an asshole in what I left, I [I]don't[/I] want things to be destroyed just because of my petty impatience. I'm at a loss here besides waiting and see what happens. I'm done trying to talk to them if that is all that I'm going to get for a response.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE]

Well, I got an answer, even if it wasn't an actual response.

Literally just a temporary status update;
[QUOTE]*lies down* summer is pretty annoying when people dont seem to understand that this is me time and me time means shut the hell up i have shit that i do[/QUOTE]

Why not just fucking say that then?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Rapist;45364820]Girlfriend's going to a summer camp where you only speak English for a week (We're Estonian) and she said "also don't worry I'm not interested in any guys there, I'm not going to forget you"

why did you even say that D:

I mean I trust her completely and I get what she was trying to say, but being told that just makes me nervous[/QUOTE]

[I]Rapist[/I]
I just can't right now. That username always gets me, but posting in here especially :v: Seriously dude... just why.

[editline]12th July 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45369824]I was actually giving lessons to my roommate for a little while so I slightly know what to expect, just haven't taught kids yet. Working with 7 year olds will be a lot harder since they'll have trouble with a lot of stuff I take for granted (like knowing which hand is left or right).

Thankfully I found out there are several sites dedicated to teaching kids piano and managed to find a pretty good lesson plan with videos. I'm thinking about visiting a nearby music and arts center when I get a chance and thumbing through a few workbooks to get a general idea of how to do things (and pick a book for students to use in the future).

My main worry is always going to be keeping lessons fun for whoever I'm teaching. With kids especially, they're not necessarily taking lessons because they want to.[/QUOTE]

It might help to have a small selection of sheet music they could pick which ones they wanted to learn from, you can classify them by difficulty or a specific thing you want them to learn then let them pick between a few choices : )
Harder to sulk about having to learn something if you have even a few small choices about what

[PuduEbooks]

[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45372548]Well, I got an answer, even if it wasn't an actual response.

Literally just a temporary status update;

Why not just fucking say that then?[/QUOTE]

Holy shit, was she always like that? She looks fucking toxic

[Ashtiel]

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45372631]Holy shit, was she always like that? She looks fucking toxic[/QUOTE]

I don't fucking know at this point. She's really nice and all but I really don't know, I guess she's SUPER SERIOUS about writing/drawing or something. If you're going to get all pissed off because your [I]boyfriend[/I] of all people wanted to hang out then at least say "well no sorry im busy". You have to keep people informed, not just leave them guessing.

[Loopoo]

LDR's can make people become prickly. I got that way in my LDR.

I started to feel trapped when I'd get home from a long day at uni, and have to spend a couple hours on Skype with my SO so she would feel better and not miss me so much. It's fine most of the time, but there are those days where you just have other shit you want to do, and sitting on a Skype call for a couple hours isn't one of them.

Every time we'd see each other in person, we'd be madly in love. Then cue the slow decline in emotional attachment the longer we're apart, and eventually it'd turn into me not looking forward to our Skype sessions because they were always the same, and it's hard to have a nice talk with someone you haven't seen in 4 months. Add on to this a hectic schedule (being at uni all day), and wanting to relax, rather than sitting and talking for two hours... Yeah, it can make you start to dread the Skyping.

If I were you, I'd just drop the relationship and go back to being best-friends if you aren't going to be together in the near future. Especially since she's becoming really aggressive about it? I at least explained to my ex that some days I just wanted to have to myself, and she understood and said that was fine. However, your girlfriend just seems to prefer being an asshole, rather than speaking to you about it.

Also, not replying over the course of five days? Fuck that. That's the scummiest shit ever. At least have the decency to say "I'm sorry, I'm really busy. I'll be free sometime next week, is that okay?" especially since you're her boyfriend. She seems immature as fuck

[PuduEbooks]

[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45372673]I don't fucking know at this point. She's really nice and all but I really don't know, I guess she's SUPER SERIOUS about writing/drawing or something. If you're going to get all pissed off because your [I]boyfriend[/I] of all people wanted to hang out then at least say "well no sorry im busy". You have to keep people informed, not just leave them guessing.[/QUOTE]

Man, if i recall correctly you send her a message asking for the trust and the truth, if she can't give you that then the relationship isn't working.
Send another one asking what the hell is going on and leave your intentions clear that you need the truth, if you she doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want to fix things up you may as well end it.

[fritzel]

Don't know why people behave like that. Ignoring you instead of talking about it to resolve the misunderstandings.

Looks like a little immature predisposition on their part. But then who are we to judge ? Turns out it could be due to past experiences gone wrong or may be other reasons.

Give some space to the person and move on. It's not the right time to think about the level of maturity because you are not in that person's shoe.

[KristoferKSR]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;45372570][I]Rapist[/I]
I just can't right now. That username always gets me, but posting in here especially :v: Seriously dude... just why.
[/QUOTE]

By Girlfriend I mean victim.

(this name was a mistake, damn you me 3 years ago!)

[PuduEbooks]

[QUOTE=fritzel;45372921]Don't know why people behave like that. Ignoring you instead of talking about it to resolve the misunderstandings.

Looks like a little immature predisposition on their part. But then who are we to judge ? Turns out it could be due to past experiences gone wrong or may be other
Give some space to the person and move on. It's not the right time to think about the level of maturity because you are not in that person's shoe.[/QUOTE]

I'm not judging, I'm giving him advice assuming there's no reason for her to start ignoring him making agressive indirects like that, at least none that he knows of.
Maybe I'm assuming that she's toxic just because all I know of her is what is happening now, I don't know her past, maybe something is going on in her life and we just don't know it, all I know is that she's not trusting her own boyfriend and is fucking up their relationship.

[Orkel]

so i got a girlfriend :3

[fritzel]

[QUOTE=Orkel;45376852]so i got a girlfriend :3[/QUOTE]

Tell her to write here some time.

[LowlyKommrad]

[QUOTE=Orkel;45376852]so i got a girlfriend :3[/QUOTE]

Does she like tanks?

[Zinayzen]

[QUOTE=Orkel;45376852]so i got a girlfriend :3[/QUOTE]

didn't you guys only go on like one date

[Zar]

[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45378401]didn't you guys only go on like one date[/QUOTE]

i think he knew her before that

[Zinayzen]

oh

[Genericenemy]

So what did you get up to Orkel if I may ask? Planning to ask this girl out I've known for over two years later in the week. Currently thinking of lunch together in the town where I go to college (Middle distance for us both) and possibly in the park if the weather is OK.

[RocketRacer]

I messaged a guy I'd like to hang out with on weekend this friday(not gay). He has sern the message, no respond.

abort mission abort mission

[editline]13th July 2014[/editline]

When I want to be friends with someone and get to know them more they keep saying no to me. I guess I'm not allowed to have fun

[RayvenQ]

[QUOTE=Genericenemy;45378885]So what did you get up to Orkel if I may ask? Planning to ask this girl out I've known for over two years later in the week. Currently thinking of lunch together in the town where I go to college (Middle distance for us both) and possibly in the park if the weather is OK.[/QUOTE]

I know that he's going to be equipping the Long 88 and loading gold for maximum rear (or frontal) penetration.

[Ashtiel]

[QUOTE=loopoo;45372707]
If I were you, I'd just drop the relationship and go back to being best-friends if you aren't going to be together in the near future. Especially since she's becoming really aggressive about it? I at least explained to my ex that some days I just wanted to have to myself, and she understood and said that was fine. However, your girlfriend just seems to prefer being an asshole, rather than speaking to you about it.

Also, not replying over the course of five days? Fuck that. That's the scummiest shit ever. At least have the decency to say "I'm sorry, I'm really busy. I'll be free sometime next week, is that okay?" especially since you're her boyfriend. She seems immature as fuck[/QUOTE]

Back when we had our first "talk", which was little more than "okay so this is gonna happen" then things were apparently okay. She [I]did[/I] say something about wanting to dedicate time over the summer to her writing and drawing, which kind of became bullshit whenever she was mostly free throughout June and just all of a sudden stops responding in July. What I'm unable to understand is how she has time to update her status with stuff like that, but doesn't have time to take the effort of literally two extra clicks to message me "I'm going to be busy for a few days, so if I'm gone you'll know why." Instead of that I had to keep pestering her every day just to get an answer, which eventually resulted in me looking stupid because of her incompetence in actually [I]telling me.[/I]

I'm not going to drop the relationship until we both actually sit down and talk, if she gives a shit about this relationship then things need to be said straight, no bullshit, I need trust. And no I'm not going to be able to see her in the near future, maybe in two-three years once I graduate but it depends if things don't go to shit and she moves on before then. There was an attempt at getting a trip going earlier this summer but that was quickly shot down due to her mom not trusting her and all.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45372754]Man, if i recall correctly you send her a message asking for the trust and the truth, if she can't give you that then the relationship isn't working.
Send another one asking what the hell is going on and leave your intentions clear that you need the truth, if you she doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want to fix things up you may as well end it.[/QUOTE]

So something along the lines of this;
[QUOTE]Okay, we seriously need to talk. This isn't about you having "me" time or whatever, that is fine. Communication is the issue here, I need to know as to why you couldn't simply just say "Im gonna be busy over the next few days/the rest of the summer, alright?" It literally takes 5 seconds to do so, if that was done then I wouldn't have felt the need to badger you, since I would have known you were busy. Since I didn't know that, I came looking for a response. If you actually care about this relationship, we need to establish two things; 1. Communication, seriously. 2. Trust, I'm not asking you tell me what you were doing the whole day, just actually tell me when you're going to be busy or are going to be AFK. We need to be straight with eachother, leaving the other person confused doesn't help at all. What Im saying is; We need to talk, piss poor communication/trust helps neither of us.[/QUOTE]

[FlashMarsh]

2-3 years? wtf

[Ashtiel]

[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;45381492]2-3 years? wtf[/QUOTE]

Bad wording on my part, I mean 2-3 years [I]once[/I] I graduate.

I'm a Freshman, going to be a Sophomore this year. It all depends on if things don't go to shit now or if she doesn't move on before then.