• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
You're just coming across as clingy, you've said it yourself, you're pestering her. Just end the relationship. That 2-3 years seeing her [I]after[/I] graduation is whack. You're too young to go wasting your life on a doomed-to-fail relationship, especially when she's clearly not as invested as you are. Your "I'm not going to end this until we sit down and talk, no bullshit" is just you grabbing at straws to keep this pseudo-relationship going. You've barely had proper conversations in July, real relationships aren't like this. You're better off in the long-run if you just cut it off, remain friends, and find someone who actually makes you feel like you're in a relationship. [editline]14th July 2014[/editline] PS: I know that LDR's can work. I'm not saying they can't. But based on what you've said, the benefits are outweighed by the disadvantages. I feel like I'm always bashing LDR's, but honestly, I don't have a problem with them. I was in one, and it was great, but ultimately it had to end since we both realised that we were too young to be committing ourselves to a LDR.
[QUOTE=loopoo;45381786]You're just coming across as clingy, you've said it yourself, you're pestering her. Just end the relationship. That 2-3 years seeing her [I]after[/I] graduation is whack. You're too young to go wasting your life on a doomed-to-fail relationship, especially when she's clearly not as invested as you are. Your "I'm not going to end this until we sit down and talk, no bullshit" is just you grabbing at straws to keep this pseudo-relationship going. You've barely had proper conversations in July, real relationships aren't like this. You're better off in the long-run if you just cut it off, remain friends, and find someone who actually makes you feel like you're in a relationship. [editline]14th July 2014[/editline] PS: I know that LDR's can work. I'm not saying they can't. But based on what you've said, the benefits are outweighed by the disadvantages.[/QUOTE] Alright, I got you. Thanks for the advice, and you guys in the thread are doing great work, keep it up.
I'm really starting to not like texting this girl anymore. Sure it's nice to be able to talk to her and we usually do text for a couple hours, but it just feels like the same thing over and over again. What can I do to try to keep things fresh? And is texting once a week too clingy?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45382092]I'm really starting to not like texting this girl anymore. Sure it's nice to be able to talk to her and we usually do text for a couple hours, but it just feels like the same thing over and over again. What can I do to try to keep things fresh? And is texting once a week too clingy?[/QUOTE] I've texted with my girlfriend every single day since we met, but I don't consider it clingy since we are both ok with it. No, you shouldn't have to worry about being clingy if both of you havo no problems with talking that often.
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45382132]I've texted with my girlfriend every single day since we met, but I don't consider it clingy since we are both ok with it. No, you shouldn't have to worry about being clingy if both of you havo no problems with talking that often.[/QUOTE] Well she hasn't said she has any problems with it. It's just I'm always the one who texts first so that's what's got me thinking maybe I'm being clingy even though I'm just passing it off as her also being afraid of being clingy.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45382274]Well she hasn't said she has any problems with it. It's just I'm always the one who texts first so that's what's got me thinking maybe I'm being clingy even though I'm just passing it off as her also being afraid of being clingy.[/QUOTE] If she wants to talk then it isn't clingy.
[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45381957]Alright, I got you. Thanks for the advice, and you guys in the thread are doing great work, keep it up.[/QUOTE] You don't need to sound clingy and desperate. Since you are still in school, I suggest that you don't let this thing run over you and concentrate more on academics. There may be a chance but a slim one. Don't waste your time if she is not responding properly. Not every girl will answer to you why they lost interest in you. Probably now you think that she is the only one. Trust me, there are so many others who will make you feel even better. Take these 2-3 years to groom yourself better and better. When you actively seek love it becomes a chore but when you enjoy your life love will find a way to you. It's like trying to catch a piece of paper by dipping you fingers in water. [QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45382092]I'm really starting to not like texting this girl anymore. Sure it's nice to be able to talk to her and we usually do text for a couple hours, but it just feels like the same thing over and over again. What can I do to try to keep things fresh? And is texting once a week too clingy?[/QUOTE] Try a fine mist of Aqua Di Gio next time when you talk. Guaranteed freshness.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45378779]oh[/QUOTE] Yea we were in the same class during high school, and I was too shy to ask her out back then. But during the date we found out it had been the exact same for her, and it just clicked. Just goes to show that you should never keep feelings to yourself, never know what the other might be thinking. Better late than never!
how long ago was high school?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;45382274]Well she hasn't said she has any problems with it. It's just I'm always the one who texts first so that's what's got me thinking maybe I'm being clingy even though I'm just passing it off as her also being afraid of being clingy.[/QUOTE] I feel the exact same way and it my brain goes into a weird overdrive mode on why she didn't text me back. I should really care less but it bothers me sometimes.
[QUOTE=Orkel;45384179]Yea we were in the same class during high school, and I was too shy to ask her out back then. But during the date we found out it had been the exact same for her, and it just clicked. Just goes to show that you should never keep feelings to yourself, never know what the other might be thinking. Better late than never![/QUOTE] Agree that you got to take your chances. You never know.
oh man I can't believe it, 26 days and I'm off, away for a year. It's gonna be so great, I can't stop thinking about it.
[QUOTE=Orkel;45384179]Just goes to show that you should never keep feelings to yourself, never know what the other might be thinking. Better late than never![/QUOTE] This is so true. Asking a girl out seems daunting at first, but the payoff can be so worth it, and even if she says no, the act of asking is not a big deal anyway.
[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45372673]I don't fucking know at this point. She's really nice and all but I really don't know, I guess she's SUPER SERIOUS about writing/drawing or something. If you're going to get all pissed off because your [I]boyfriend[/I] of all people wanted to hang out then at least say "well no sorry im busy". You have to keep people informed, not just leave them guessing.[/QUOTE] Sorry man, she's definatly blowing you off. If she can't handle that and she wasn't trying to blow you off, she deserves to get dumped by acting like such a passive aggressive dumbass.
So I have a serious blunder right now, I really want to meet some new people and just get out there but right now I'm under so much constraint. I have no car at the moment, the area I live in is fairly countrysideish and the nearest store is a good five miles (its just a small convenient store) But I do have a bike and I'm very thankful for that. I was looking forward to working this summer (which I'm glad I could just bum rides too) but none of my co-workers are really that nice and don't share the same interests as me. Right now as it sits I'm bringing home a pretty good check but thats about it, limited social interaction at work and I'm dead tired when I arrive home. Yeah I have hung out with some of my old friends but they don't even want to get out and meet new people like I do, they want to like play video games and stay cramped up in a house. I don't think they would understand if I stood up and said "lets go out and find something to do" I'm starting to loathe hanging out with my old friends. Throw manic depression and a dump truck load of stress onto this shit pie and you have me. I just want to find a change at this point, a change in lifestyle, friends, and possibly even peace of mind but I do not know how to do that.
I'm trying to get over my ex girlfriend but it's hard. I texted her awhile ago after we haven't spoken in a month and we talked for a little and then she just ignored me. It's clear she doesn't want to speak to me anymore. I don't want to have feelings for her anymore. Anyone got any advice?
well don't text her then
I'm not going to text her anymore I'm done trying to make things right again. She changed so much and I don't understand why I still have feelings for her. I just want to move on and stop thinking about her.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;45386475]if you can't actually meet a person face to face for 2-3 years maybe consider breaking it off[/QUOTE] It's more of an estimation really. It mostly depends on how things pan out from here, and going by what's going on currently you're probably right. [QUOTE=KorJax;45387083]Sorry man, she's definatly blowing you off. If she can't handle that and she wasn't trying to blow you off, she deserves to get dumped by acting like such a passive aggressive dumbass.[/QUOTE] Welp, I'll just give her space until she actually gives a shit and comes to talk to me. As some guys said last page, It's probably best to just call it off completely, or just put things to a stop until we can actually meet up since the long distance thing obviously isn't working out. It really depends on dedication, I guess.
[QUOTE=Crpto2007;45388895]I'm not going to text her anymore I'm done trying to make things right again. She changed so much and I don't understand why I still have feelings for her. I just want to move on and stop thinking about her.[/QUOTE] Keep moving dude. I know it's hard now. You'll find yourself going through a [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model"]cycle[/URL] and understand it's natural. Buddha said," If you have a problem that can be fixed, then there is no use in worrying. If you have a problem that cannot be fixed, then there is no use in worrying." The only way you can go is forward, so why not keep putting one foot in front of the other? If someone doesn't want to spend time with you, than it's entirely their loss. Too bad for them because you are moving forward. Refocus on yourself, what you need internally, because you can't possibly let the world slip through your fingertips. Take this time to fall in love with yourself again. Take walks/jogs/runs around the neighborhood. Get a treadmill. A gym membership. Do something physically demanding. The endorphins will do you wonders. Pick up a book, a project, or an instrument. The challenge to finish or learn something daunting that is much larger than yourself will satisfy you like nothing else. I really struggled with those two things. I'll admit it. I had panic attacks on the daily. The way I coped was forcing myself to go seek out new places and new things to try. And I am miles above where I was before. Seek out every opportunity to get out. You'll be better in no time. Keep that in mind.
Thanks it's just we were broken up for a awhile but we just got back from Florida together 2 months ago and I really thought that would bring her closer to me again since we both had a good time. I regret even going with her now I got my hopes up for nothing instead she leaves me and makes all new friends in less than a month of no contact with me
So there's this friend of mine whom I hadn't heard of in a long time whom suddenly revived her account on the site where we became friends. Reason was that she had broken up with her boyfriend and was ready to try her luck again. We'd always had a good time talking about stuff and now wasn't an exception either, so we'd been talking online every with the exception today as she seemed to be busy with not logging in or anything. I know it's there in the title of this thread, logically there shouldn't be a hitch as we both like talking to each other, both of us find each other attractive, I apparently make her laugh out loud often just by text and she's really anticipated for me and my friends indie-title :v: But then again it's just natural to feel a bit anxious when asking someone out. Though I've had a few dates before and even a relationship via that site. But it just seems to feel a whole lot more bigger this time as I really like her and to add onto that my two closest friends are moving far away next month.
[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45390152]It's more of an estimation really. It mostly depends on how things pan out from here, and going by what's going on currently you're probably right. Welp, I'll just give her space until she actually gives a shit and comes to talk to me. As some guys said last page, It's probably best to just call it off completely, or just put things to a stop until we can actually meet up since the long distance thing obviously isn't working out. It really depends on dedication, I guess.[/QUOTE] I've been in a similar situation, and I broke it off and found someone who actually appreciates me and wants to dedicate time to me. It opened my eyes to what a healthy relationship is actually supposed to be (even if it's talking over long-distance). It was because it was my first relationship and I didn't have the life experience to see the problem with it. I feel like the same thing can happen to you if you take that step. Yours honestly seems doomed, and the less time you waste trying to make it work, the less regret you'll have when you find something good.
[QUOTE=VietRooster2;45390152]It's more of an estimation really. It mostly depends on how things pan out from here, and going by what's going on currently you're probably right. Welp, I'll just give her space until she actually gives a shit and comes to talk to me. As some guys said last page, It's probably best to just call it off completely, or just put things to a stop until we can actually meet up since the long distance thing obviously isn't working out. It really depends on dedication, I guess.[/QUOTE] It's not about dedication, it's about self respect. Her "shut the hell up I have shit to do" status was incredibly rude. You said it was directed at you - I didn't think I would need to say it but that isn't an appropriate way to talk to anyone you're on good terms with, much less a boyfriend. You're still very young, as a teenager you're still changing rapidly as a person and 2 years from now you'll likely be two completely different people than you are now. The chances of still being interested in each other after all that are pretty low, especially considering that you haven't had any other experience with relationships. On top of that, you need to realize that it is NEVER your responsibility to stay around someone who isn't healthy for you. In any relationship you need to seriously consider whether or not the relationship is harmful to you or hindering the rest of your life in any way. "Dedication" to a specific person should never be a factor.
You guys should read [B]Stardust[/B].
This isn't the literary thread. (And American Gods is higher on my priority list right now)
It's overhyped IMO like it's good but it overreached a bit i think and people seem to like it more than they should
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45384189]how long ago was high school?[/QUOTE] It's been a few years. We kept in contact throughout and hanged out from time to time but it only turned serious now.
I haven't read his other works yet since I have a lot of nonfiction and Mass Effect novels to get through that are higher priority for me, but I was a huge fan of Sandman. As you might be able to tell by my profile picture. [editline]15th July 2014[/editline] On that note, I'm taking a class on American comic books in the fall with an awesome English prof I had last semester. Apparently we'll be covering Sandman in that class.
[QUOTE=ColdWave;45388091]So I have a serious blunder right now, I really want to meet some new people and just get out there but right now I'm under so much constraint. I have no car at the moment, the area I live in is fairly countrysideish and the nearest store is a good five miles (its just a small convenient store) But I do have a bike and I'm very thankful for that. I was looking forward to working this summer (which I'm glad I could just bum rides too) but none of my co-workers are really that nice and don't share the same interests as me. Right now as it sits I'm bringing home a pretty good check but thats about it, limited social interaction at work and I'm dead tired when I arrive home. Yeah I have hung out with some of my old friends but they don't even want to get out and meet new people like I do, they want to like play video games and stay cramped up in a house. I don't think they would understand if I stood up and said "lets go out and find something to do" I'm starting to loathe hanging out with my old friends. Throw manic depression and a dump truck load of stress onto this shit pie and you have me. I just want to find a change at this point, a change in lifestyle, friends, and possibly even peace of mind but I do not know how to do that.[/QUOTE] Shitty situation to be in but there's really nothing you can do until you move out or get a car. It's one of those things where you are bound by your location and circumstances so just try and make the best of it. Get a good hobby or take day-long bike rides through the country and that sort of thing on your days off. Also, make some friends online. Its not the same thing but its cool to meet up with folks you are good friends with who you chat frequently with online once you get to a point where that becomes possible.
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