Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=iggy650;45461553]Fuck. I had plans with a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks, and when she texted me telling me she was off work, I was in my basement with no signal. I didn't get it until 2 hours later. She said we can reschedule until tomorrow luckily, but still.

I literally feel so shitty right now.[/QUOTE]
'happens

go take a shower lol

[haloguy234]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;45461246]
May I ask what your parents' situation is if you've only known her for a few months? Did your parents just recently get together or did you just never meet her because she lives far away?[/QUOTE]

I've met her before, but I never bothered to sit down and get to know her. Our parents have been together since...I don't even know. Probably the beginning of 2012? My mom died at the end of 2011, and the last couple of years have largely been a big blur.

I saw her a few times when our parents first started "dating", I guess. Even then she only said a few words to me, and I didn't have the same feelings for her then that I do now. I saw her at her graduation party. She had just graduated high school, and the event also served as a going away party, since she was leaving to go to Colorado for university in about a weeks time.

I didn't see her for about 6 or 7 months. On Thanksgiving holiday she showed up back in town for our parent's wedding, and that was when I think my first feelings for her really surfaced. Sure, I had never really taken the time to get to know her, but I felt really comfortable around her for some reason. I got pretty wasted that night and I was being overly touchy with her. Nothing out of the ordinary, just my usual self when I'm drunk. Apparently I'm the friendliest guy ever when I've had a lot. I give a lot of people hugs.

Anyway, she showed up yet again for Christmas, and I still never really felt much for her. She left again, and showed up for the summer of 2013. At that time, I was busy with my own college stuff, so she and I never really got to talk, and then she left again.

Queue her most recent visit, the trip to Florida. It was a week-long vacation and we were basically forced to socialize with one another. It was here where she and I first got close. After that, things died down a bit between us, but I made an effort to re-connect with her, and I've been spending as much time as possible with her since then since I won't see her for another year and a half or so when she leaves.

EDIT
Let me just paint a picture for you. For most of my life, I've been alone because I decided I was better off that way. I don't feel like going into the details, but the gist of it is I became super lonely and covered it all up and developed an irrational fear of opening up to others. When she and I really got to know one another, I felt [I]happy.[/I] I can't describe it any other way. I rarely ever smile, but now, when I'm at work and I get a text from her about anything, I can't help but grin like a big fucking idiot. I feel safe, comfortable, and happy being around her. Even if we rarely speak. Just being near her, spending my time with her, hanging out---all of it means so much to me. I like hearing her voice and her laughs. I like seeing her smile and have fun. But most of all, I like [I]her.[/I] She's one of the greatest and most powerful influences on my life, and I want to show her how much she means to me, but I just can't. No matter what. It will never happen. I even quit smoking because of her. I thought I'd never be able to quit, but I feel so good around her that smoking is the last thing on my mind. I don't even smoke my e-cig anymore. I haven't touched nicotine for a little over a month now.

The most I can settle for is the closest friendship I think I'll ever have, and while some wouldn't be okay with that, I am because I have to. It's terrible, but it's also fulfilling. I don't think a whole lot of others would be so freely and openly accepting of that kind of a reality, and that makes me kind of proud.

[fritzel]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;45457973]^This is going to be good.
Front row center.[/QUOTE]
Show's cancelled.

[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45460646]it is important to remember that this girl is his stepsister[/QUOTE]
Got to follow societal norms which are temporal or follow your heart and seek out the flame.

[Zinayzen]

why are you so weird

[haloguy234]

[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45462321]why are you so weird[/QUOTE]

Care to elaborate? Is it because I seem to keep going back and forth on this whole thing? If that's the case, put yourself in my situation. You have [I]no idea[/I] what it's like. You really end up having absolutely no idea what you want. What you think you want one day becomes a horrible idea the next. It's complicated.

It's not about what I want. It's about what's best. And what's best is to not do anything about any of this.

[PuduEbooks]

I think he's talking about the other weird dude.

[Zinayzen]

no not you i mean the guy who keeps giving terrible advice

you're a cool dude

[fritzel]

[QUOTE=haloguy234;45462360]
It's not about what I want. It's about what's best. And what's best is to not do anything about any of this.[/QUOTE]

What's best is that you should not regret about it later. Don't leave it hanging on a "what if" scenario if you see a genuine reason.

@Zinayzen
Ok, I am weird. I am kind of everything that you can think of. Keep thinking.

[Zinayzen]

[QUOTE=fritzel;45462468]
@Zinayzen
Ok, I am weird. I am kind of everything that you can think of. Keep thinking.[/QUOTE]

what does that even mean

[Rhenae]

I think we all need to remember that this isnt just a hit and run. She isnt gone forever in a month. They are closely legally related, and are probably going to see eachother often for family get togethers and such.

[disseminate]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;45464035]I think we all need to remember that this isnt just a hit and run. She isnt gone forever in a month. They are closely legally related, and are probably going to see eachother often for family get togethers and such.[/QUOTE]

This is the main issue here.

It's not that your separate parents are in a relationship, it's that if you try anything at all, let alone enter a relationship and break up, it's not like you can just not see her. You're stuck with her for as long as your respective parents are alive.

[RocketRacer]

hm so the girl that I quite like, asked out, said no and ignored me and for couple of month it's good now. I was thinking to ask her if she wants to hang out during the summer because she seems like she's quite fine with me so might as well try and do that just to hang out as friends, you know?

And also last 3 bus rides to school I've used a different bus and a girl from my school(same age group) apparently takes same bus but way closer to school than I do. She saw me on friday but we didn't speak, and later that day I see a notification that she added me as friend on FB(apparently found me through other people). I have seen her before, she goes to my ICT class but we didn't speak at all so I'm thinking to message her and ask if she wants to meet some time. Again, as friends.

And most importantly: school's finally over. yay.

[Loopoo]

The her adding you on FB is a blatant sign that she's interested. Chat with her and ask her out. As for the first one, props to you for going for it. Sadly, she said no, so I think it's in your best interest to keep her as an acquaintance. Try and get to know the one that added you on FB better.

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

Also, update: changed plans from icecream to coffee. I had a nice time, we had a fun chat, but I realised I'm not attracted to her. Was worth a try!

Today was pretty awesome? I got called gorgeous 2 times. First time, I was in the library and I bumped into two friends of mine. One was on Skype with her friend, and I waved at the girl on Skype and then sat down beside the two in the library. She then told me that her friend said I was gorgeous (which was a nice ego boost). I scootched over and said thanks.

This made the two I was with a bit giddy, and the second one mustered up the courage and said she thinks I'm gorgeous too, and I was blushing (which made it worse). They said it's my curly hair, and I said "Is that all I've got going for me?" and then we all laughed and carried on talking about life and stuff.

Then, on the way home, I stopped off at the shop, and the cashier asked me how I was, and I said I wasn't too bad. I asked her how her day was and she said it was considerably better, since she got to serve such a gorgeous customer. I said thanks so much and that she made my day. It's nice when people say this kinda stuff to me, because I'm still all psychologically fucked up from all the problems I've had with my eye. When you wake up every day and are convinced you're not good looking, but have other people come and just randomly say it, it means a lot.

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=loopoo;45467482]The her adding you on FB is a blatant sign that she's interested. Chat with her and ask her out. As for the first one, props to you for going for it. Sadly, she said no, so I think it's in your best interest to keep her as an acquaintance. Try and get to know the one that added you on FB better.

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

Also, update: changed plans from icecream to coffee. I had a nice time, we had a fun chat, but I realised I'm not attracted to her. Was worth a try!

Today was pretty awesome? I got called gorgeous 2 times. First time, I was in the library and I bumped into two friends of mine. One was on Skype with her friend, and I waved at the girl on Skype and then sat down beside the two in the library. She then told me that her friend said I was gorgeous (which was a nice ego boost). I scootched over and said thanks.

This made the two I was with a bit giddy, and the second one mustered up the courage and said she thinks I'm gorgeous too, and I was blushing (which made it worse). They said it's my curly hair, and I said "Is that all I've got going for me?" and then we all laughed and carried on talking about life and stuff.

Then, on the way home, I stopped off at the shop, and the cashier asked me how I was, and I said I wasn't too bad. I asked her how her day was and she said it was considerably better, since she got to serve such a gorgeous customer. I said thanks so much and that she made my day. It's nice when people say this kinda stuff to me, because I'm still all psychologically fucked up from all the problems I've had with my eye. When you wake up every day and are convinced you're not good looking, but have other people come and just randomly say it, it means a lot.[/QUOTE]

nice.

I messaged that girl that added me and we are still chatting and I constantly feel like I want to ask her to meet up some time but, should I do it this soon? I'm not too sure about that, and I'm only aiming to be 'friends' for now.

[MadPro119]

Okay quick story.

Broke up with year long gf almost two months ago now.

Saturday night I drank with some friends and messaged a girl on facebook from school who I haven't seen much but smoked some weed with during lunch with her (past(ex?)) boyfriend and a mutual friend once a few (prolly 3/4) months ago. I joked about it and said we should smoke together this summer.

She saw it at 8Am the next morning (Sunday) but didnt reply until now (Tuesday at 4:15) and she said

"Yeah sure I guess. Why not."

We leave for a college in a month so it almost seems not worth it to sober me, especially with that response. But on the other hand I might as well arrange something and hope for the best.

I really don't know how to respond to that and want some advice quick

[FlashMarsh]

uh well if you just want to have some fun then why not? this seems like a non-issue to me

[Loopoo]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;45469085]nice.

I messaged that girl that added me and we are still chatting and I constantly feel like I want to ask her to meet up some time but, should I do it this soon? I'm not too sure about that, and I'm only aiming to be 'friends' for now.[/QUOTE]

How old are you guys? It's not really an issue making it so soon (at least to me it isn't). This girl seems to like you, so I'm sure she'll happily agree to going out.

[MadPro119]

[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;45469200]uh well if you just want to have some fun then why not? this seems like a non-issue to me[/QUOTE]

She took two days to respond and with that kind of response she just seems so unsinterested.

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=loopoo;45469264]How old are you guys? It's not really an issue making it so soon (at least to me it isn't). This girl seems to like you, so I'm sure she'll happily agree to going out.[/QUOTE]

17 both(I think so, I think she's 17 maybe 16 if her birthday is later than today).

And I asked her and she said when she comes from holiday we can 'organise something'. She named a date, and I asked(hoping for) if it's July, but she said August.

oh well then.

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

abort mission

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

It's also end of the month and approx. when I come back from my own 'holiday' anyways.

[MadPro119]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;45469424]17 both(I think so, I think she's 17 maybe 16 if her birthday is later than today).

And I asked her and she said when she comes from holiday we can 'organise something'. She named a date, and I asked(hoping for) if it's July, but she said August.

oh well then.

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

abort mission

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

It's also end of the month and approx. when I come back from my own 'holiday' anyways.[/QUOTE]

I know that feel, first girl I went for this summer decided to go to band camp for two months of summer. fukthatnoise

[GURREN LAGANN]

What the fuck, so if you mention the word suicide at all, the psychiatrist can call the cops on you?

[FlashMarsh]

I THOUGHT WE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT DUDE

NOT COOL

[RocketRacer]

Now I'm really saddened but at least it's not really a long wait if you think about it. I go myself on first week of august, and return probably a day or two earlier than she does, so if she will still be interested I'll be up for that for sure.

Now I can try to contact the first girl in my post. Not today, but maybe tomorrow or later. I'm not quite sure about that but still could do.

[Loopoo]

You should be happy that at least you had the nerve to ask in the first place. You have no idea how good that is. Now, next time you want to ask a girl you're interested in out on a date, you won't sit there twiddling your thumbs or worrying about it. Nicely done!

Worse that can happen is she says no. The best that can happen is you get a date. Best of luck with this next girl (but if she's your ex, I wouldn't get into that, you probably broke up for a good reason, no?)

[OscarLimaEcho]

[QUOTE=fritzel;45462468]What's best is that you should not regret about it later. Don't leave it hanging on a "what if" scenario if you see a genuine reason.

@Zinayzen
Ok, I am weird. I am kind of everything that you can think of. Keep thinking.[/QUOTE]

I still don't understand why you decide to shitpost in a thread where people ask for legitimate advice.

[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;45469613]What the fuck, so if you mention the word suicide at all, the psychiatrist can call the cops on you?[/QUOTE]

Did you seriously do that?

[RocketRacer]

[QUOTE=loopoo;45469734](but if she's your ex)[/QUOTE]
woa woa woa I never had a girlfriend or anything close to a girlfriend. I just asked the (first) girl out and she said she's busy and then she started to ignore me in school and then 2 months later she was back to normal and all friendly and stuff.

I might go for it some time in later days. Meanwhile with this girl, I said that we should definately keep contact and she agreed. She's also a kind of person who has only one trustworthy friend, not saying it's bad or anything. And I thought, how exactly? We can keep FB chatting, which we will definately do from time to time, I don't want to lose contact because she's the only one who actually bothered to talk to me and keep conversation going[I](I know sounds weird ;_;)[/I] and even though I've seen her only couple of times in school she seems really nice. Maybe ask for a phone number, that means I need to fix my mobile network and get a tarriff.

[Zinayzen]

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;45469613]What the fuck, so if you mention the word suicide at all, the psychiatrist can call the cops on you?[/QUOTE]

well yeah

why, did you do that? story please

[OscarLimaEcho]

Tell us what happened.

[PuduEbooks]

I would've trusted a psychiatrist and said that, because he's supposed to help me, not to call the cops on me.

[Loopoo]

I'm pretty sure if it's someone over the phone, they're gonna kind of have to call the cops for your own safety. But if you're in a Psychiatrist's office, they'll be there to help you in person and prevent you from impulsively committing suicide. Only over-the-phone docs call the cops, no?