Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=loopoo;45467482]The her adding you on FB is a blatant sign that she's interested. Chat with her and ask her out. As for the first one, props to you for going for it. Sadly, she said no, so I think it's in your best interest to keep her as an acquaintance. Try and get to know the one that added you on FB better.
[/QUOTE]
no it isn't
I mean sure go for it but that's not really what i would term a blatant sign at all, people add each other on fb for no reason all the time
that said rocketracer should still do it and get talking to her for sure
it's not "calling the cops on you" like you did something wrong, it's sending someone to make sure that you're okay and not in immediate danger. i assume he called someone because if he saw them in person they wouldn't call the cops because they'd at least be in the same room and it's not like he's going to off himself in the therapy chair or whatever
either way it's not like it's a bad thing that goes on your record or something, it's to make sure you don't do something harsh and irrational in a fit of emotion. don't let that turn you away from psychologists/psychiatrists (i always forget which one is which)
[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;45469613]What the fuck, so if you mention the word suicide at all, the psychiatrist can call the cops on you?[/QUOTE]
You mean the phone psychiatry or like going to office? Either way yes its a legal allowance put I so they can use their judgment as necessary and not have to worry about getting in legal shit for trying to help someone if they need it.
Did this happen or are you just fussing over details?
Usually they're only supposed to interfere if they think you're an immediate threat to yourself or others. If you told them you were having suicidal thoughts but didn't seem like you really wanted to go through with it, they probably wouldn't call in outside help.
Either way your psychiatrist is just looking out for your safety.
[editline]22nd July 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45470821]it's not "calling the cops on you" like you did something wrong, it's sending someone to make sure that you're okay and not in immediate danger. i assume he called someone because if he saw them in person they wouldn't call the cops because they'd at least be in the same room and it's not like he's going to off himself in the therapy chair or whatever
either way it's not like it's a bad thing that goes on your record or something, it's to make sure you don't do something harsh and irrational in a fit of emotion. don't let that turn you away from psychologists/psychiatrists (i always forget which one is which)[/QUOTE]
A psychologist isn't necessarily a therapist, it just means they're in the field of psychology (that can include research etc, it's a very broad field, also important to keep in mind that psychology as a whole isn't a medical field). They aren't always qualified to diagnose mental disorders. Psychiatry is a medical field focused on the diagnosis and treatment mental disorders. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who are qualified to prescribe psychiatric drugs.
Also to be fair you did say that, and I quote, "suicide is a pretty good option"
[QUOTE=killerteacup;45470768]no it isn't
I mean sure go for it but that's not really what i would term a blatant sign at all, people add each other on fb for no reason all the time
that said rocketracer should still do it and get talking to her for sure[/QUOTE]
She added him out of the blue. They hadn't even spoken? That - at least to me - is a sign that she's interested. I mean, it's not as if they spoke beforehand and she added him out of the fact they'd actually spoken. She kind of went on FB and actively searched for him to add him.
It's pretty common to add people you've spoken with or met once or twice for no reason at all, but usually, when you're searching them on FB having not spoken or met them before, it's usually cause you're interested in getting to know them better.
[QUOTE=loopoo;45471730]She added him out of the blue. They hadn't even spoken? That - at least to me - is a sign that she's interested. I mean, it's not as if they spoke beforehand and she added him out of the fact they'd actually spoken. She kind of went on FB and actively searched for him to add him.
It's pretty common to add people you've spoken with or met once or twice for no reason at all, but usually, when you're searching them on FB having not spoken or met them before, it's usually cause you're interested in getting to know them better.[/QUOTE]
I'm actually interested in learning more about this. A huge leap that propelled my whatever-you-want-to-call-it with my stepsister in a direction that got us [I]incredibly[/I] emotionally close was when she sent me a random ass text when I was at work. I never even gave her my number. I only assume she got it from her brother. But when I got that text from her, I just stopped everything that I was doing and just smiled. I was in the middle of telling a story to my coworker and I began to stumble over all of my words and completely lost track of where I was in my story.
I took that as an immediate invitation to freely converse with her where-ever and whenever. I became more comfortable with just approaching her and saying "mind if I join you?" and things of that nature. And it's great texting her at work and just chatting about whatever.
Is something like that a red flag of some kind of interest, or no? I know jack shit about dating and girls and chemistry and all that, but I feel like a girl going to do something like that is at least partially an indication of some form of interest. Be it friendly or more.
Since I'm off to college this fall and I'm going to know only like 3 people there I've started scouting out girls who are gonna be in my dorm
One I found is an artist and she's been liking/commenting on almost every photo I post on instagram
I think I should probably strike up a conversation with her about art or some shit and see about hanging out and drawing together (which she has already showed interest in)
[QUOTE=loopoo;45471730]She added him out of the blue. They hadn't even spoken? That - at least to me - is a sign that she's interested. I mean, it's not as if they spoke beforehand and she added him out of the fact they'd actually spoken. She kind of went on FB and actively searched for him to add him.
[/QUOTE]
Could be suggested by facebook ? And adding someone on facebook out of blue is not a big deal depending upon the mentality of person.
If we didn't speak beforehand and she saw me on a bus once and in-school from time to time then it means something imo. Just don't kno what. Meh I have a really long wait before we can actually meet, which is saddening but whatever. Also I dont really question people but she said she lives with a friend gor a week and then gone for holiday...why not to meet if you live with a friend and maybe go with her as well?
Whatever the case, I'm thinking about 1 girl in my first post on this page.
Talk to her instead of trying to "realize" what you want to be the truth. As for the being with a friend for a week, it's likely they don't get to hang out a lot, so running off to meet some guy is probably really low priority at the moment.
Fritz, what is your deal? Do you have a head injury? Are you an alien life form trying desperately to understand human emotion? Are you an experiment designed to test the limits of the average person's patience for bizarre comments? It's all well and good that you're trying to help, but the things you say are so off-putting and nonsensical. It's just difficult for me to imagine a living, breathing person sitting down and saying, with a straight face, "feeling suicidal? You should read or watch Stardust until it goes away."
Like, Stardust is lovely, but...
Hello guys, I have a strange question, would like to hear your opinion.tl;dr How to move on without revealing your feelings.So there is that girl. She and I are very good friends , yea sure friendzone, but at first I wasnt interested at her as a potential girlfriend. Time went by she found boyfriend and after few months I felt that I have crush on her. Then I thought that as long as she is happy I shouldnt do anything. I did that and here I am its been a while (4 months) still having crush on her.I think its about time for me to move on but i dont know how. Best way now looks to just tell her how i feel but i dont like drama and she might get confused.Is there any other way to move on?oh and btw shes my classmate so there might be huge akward space ...
[QUOTE=hanalei;45478294]Hello guys, I have a strange question, would like to hear your opinion.tl;dr How to move on without revealing your feelings.So there is that girl. She and I are very good friends , yea sure friendzone, but at first I wasnt interested at her as a potential girlfriend. Time went by she found boyfriend and after few months I felt that I have crush on her. Then I thought that as long as she is happy I shouldnt do anything. I did that and here I am its been a while (4 months) still having crush on her.I think its about time for me to move on but i dont know how. Best way now looks to just tell her how i feel but i dont like drama and she might get confused.Is there any other way to move on?oh and btw shes my classmate so there might be huge akward space ...[/QUOTE]
Why would you tell her? If she's single, ask her out, if not, shut up about it and move on, because it sounds like you are four months late. I know this might sound rude, but nobody wants people to "confess" to them. It might be cute when dating, but it's really not fun to hear from someone you don't have a thing for.
If you want to try anything with her, ask her out. If you want to move on, stop focusing about it instead of trying to tell the girl, as it would just make things even more awkward.
[QUOTE=hanalei;45478294]Hello guys, I have a strange question, would like to hear your opinion.tl;dr How to move on without revealing your feelings.So there is that girl. She and I are very good friends , yea sure friendzone, but at first I wasnt interested at her as a potential girlfriend. Time went by she found boyfriend and after few months I felt that I have crush on her. Then I thought that as long as she is happy I shouldnt do anything. I did that and here I am its been a while (4 months) still having crush on her.I think its about time for me to move on but i dont know how. Best way now looks to just tell her how i feel but i dont like drama and she might get confused.Is there any other way to move on?oh and btw shes my classmate so there might be huge akward space ...[/QUOTE]
Life is too short buddy, if you really like her, tell her your honest feelings, and if she says no, well that is that, you can move on.
This sounds pretty dumb, but sometimes I'm not able to start or carry on a conversation with someone because I have no idea what to talk about. It only seems to be an issue when I'm trying to get to know someone, which needless to say, makes doing so much harder.
I've only managed to build the confidence to even consider saying something after a friend gave me a great piece of advice, which was to not try too hard, since the harder you try, the harder it becomes.
I know this is pretty vauge, but has anyone got any tips or advice they wouldn't mind sharing?
[QUOTE=Dorkslayz;45481083]This sounds pretty dumb, but sometimes I'm not able to start or carry on a conversation with someone because I have no idea what to talk about. It only seems to be an issue when I'm trying to get to know someone, which needless to say, makes doing so much harder.
I've only managed to build the confidence to even consider saying something after a friend gave me a great piece of advice, which was to not try too hard, since the harder you try, the harder it becomes.
I know this is pretty vauge, but has anyone got any tips or advice they wouldn't mind sharing?[/QUOTE]
I just talk about whatever when it comes to meeting someone new. Seriously. Anything that comes to mind. I'll just yap away. First you want to try to establish a common ground with whoever you're trying to get to know.
For awhile I never really even spoke to one of my coworkers. About three or four months, actually. We would greet one another, but that was it. One day we were both just standing around and I turned and said "so do you play video games?" and then the next four hours we just talked about video games.
Sometimes you get lucky and hit it off with someone with similar interests as you, other times you may as well be talking to a brick wall. When that happens, don't freak out. Don't push yourself to find out more or look for a conversation piece. If you can't get a good conversation out of them with your first few topics, you won't get much else out of them.
Just talk about things you feel really strongly about. Some interests, like music or hobbies, are good conversation pieces. Just go with the flow of things.
[QUOTE=gungar;45480228]Life is too short buddy, if you really like her, tell her your honest feelings, and if she says no, well that is that, you can move on.[/QUOTE]
nooooooooooooooooooooo.
This isn't a matter of "making the best out of life". You should be living your own life instead of being caught up with someone who is in a relationship and haven't shown you any signs.
So I think I finally figured out why I've been feeling so conflicted with my particular situation. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not interested in a physical relationship with her. I've only ever wanted what we currently have; which is an [I]extremely[/I] close friendship.
Now, I'll admit, I do admire her. I have a crush on her, that's pretty much it. Crushing on someone doesn't necessarily mean you're interested in pursuing a full-fledged relationship with them. It just means you really, really like them and enjoy being around them or like to think about them a lot.
So, anyway, she and I are really close. I can't even put it into words just how incredibly close we are. However, as of the last week or so, she's become distant. Rather rapidly, actually. I then learned she had been communicating with an ex-boyfriend who lives in town, and they started hanging out. Around the time that she became distant from me, she was talking to him.
That's when I started to get all of these conflicting feelings. I guess I feel threatened and jealous because I feel like he's a temporary replacement for the closeness that she and I share. That makes sense, right? The problem here is there's nothing I can do about it. I pretty much have to sit by and watch the two of them do whatever and there's no way I can express a distaste for it, or else I'll arouse suspicion. While I know for sure that I'm not after anything more than what we already have, it might look really odd that I'd be getting so worked up over her hanging out with an ex-boyfriend. It'd look like I was interested in becoming romantically involved with her.
Do you guys think I should say something? It's gotten to the point where I can't even process the feelings I have. I've been spending a lot of my nights by myself again, with nobody to talk to. Shit kinda sucks. Pretty much been drinking myself to sleep now. Not getting blackout drunk, but the fuzzy warm border between loose and drunk.
I just really want someone to talk to, and I'd like to be able to talk to her again, but she seems so detached from me now that we can't talk like we used to. I really don't like it.
I know that the answer is going to be "just move on and forget about her", but that's easier said than done. I'm really just looking for some advice on exactly how to do that. I really don't have a whole lot of time to go and meet new people and make friends again. I'm working a lot, and when I'm off work, it's usually too late in the evening for me to want to do anything social anyway. I also work on Saturdays, so basically my only free day is Sunday. And last I checked, not a whole heck of a lot of social events take place on a Sunday.
Sounds kind of like a girl-crush.
If she's gotten distant it might be because either she thinks you're coming on to her (which would make sense given how confused you are about your feelings toward her), or she has feelings toward you and is trying to put space between you two in order to sort herself out. If you two are close and if the whole step-sibling thing doesn't put her off too much from talking about your feelings toward each other, it might help to just talk things out honestly and let her know what you told us. Maybe you can find out why she seems to be avoiding you. It sounds like you feel pretty platonic toward her and just really enjoy her company, and I don't think there's anything wrong or socially unacceptable about wanting to be close with your relatives.
[editline]23rd July 2014[/editline]
When it comes to feelings toward someone, remember that you can't control your emotions, but you can control your actions. If you had feelings toward her and didn't act on them, I don't think there's any shame in admitting you struggled with them in the first place.
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45481477]nooooooooooooooooooooo.
This isn't a matter of "making the best out of life". You should be living your own life instead of being caught up with someone who is in a relationship and haven't shown you any signs.[/QUOTE]
And regret not saying that later when you look back in retrospection. Noice. Life's too short to take it seriously with a glum look. In the end you will regret things you didn't do.
He will still be living his own life and will probably feel much better. Feelings are meant to be let out. The more you keep it in, the stronger it grows.
Just don't sound desperate because you are letting go off your feelings towards her without much expectations.
i would suggest listening to the girl not the robot
are you calling me a girl or a robot or
[QUOTE=fritzel;45482289]And regret not saying that later when you look back in retrospection. Noice. Life's too short to take it seriously with a glum look. In the end you will regret things you didn't do.
He will still be living his own life and will probably feel much better. Feelings are meant to be let out. The more you keep it in, the stronger it grows.
Just don't sound desperate because you are letting go off your feelings towards her without much expectations.[/QUOTE]
I don't really think trying to get into something with someone who's in a happy relationship will not end in a fucked up way.
Actually, the best that could happen is [i]her saying no and not feeling anything else[/i], if you have respect for her feelings, don't do it.
Plus, I disagree, the longer you keep a feeling for someone and nothing happens, it will eventually fade away, or it may become an obsession, wich isn't healthy at all, luckly the latter only happens if you let it grow.
[QUOTE=haloguy234;45481656]
So, anyway, she and I are really close. I can't even put it into words just how incredibly close we are. However, as of the last week or so, she's become distant. Rather rapidly, actually. I then learned she had been communicating with an ex-boyfriend who lives in town, and they started hanging out. Around the time that she became distant from me, she was talking to him.
[/QUOTE]
She's getting her emotional needs from ex-bf now. One of the most important factor. You may had been a temporary refuge to her as now she has relapsed back to her former life giving lesser time to you.
It's natural to feel jealous and all worked up. But with time and maturity you will be able to shrug off these feelings. It's just that the one you care about the most, you want to be the first go to person for him/her. Now read the earlier sentence from her perspective. Can you see whom she cares most about ? Well...my friend, there in lies the life's unfairness. Will I call it unfairness ? May be just the pieces of jigsaw puzzles. Not everyone fits together.
[QUOTE=haloguy234;45481656]
Do you guys think I should say something? It's gotten to the point where I can't even process the feelings I have. I've been spending a lot of my nights by myself again, with nobody to talk to. Shit kinda sucks. Pretty much been drinking myself to sleep now. Not getting blackout drunk, but the fuzzy warm border between loose and drunk.
[/QUOTE]
You may tell her how you felt as suggested by Guy Mannly. It will be easy if she takes it casually but will be a bit complicated if she gets serious about that. Be ready for both scenarios.
Don't drink too much. Doesn't help. It sucks when you don't find a person or lose one with whom you can rely on a deeper emotional level. But the solitary reaper cares not much because he/she has enough going on in his/her life to be thankful for.
[editline]24th July 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45482336]i would suggest listening to the girl not the robot[/QUOTE]
I am the robot here. Oscar is the girl.
[QUOTE=fritzel;45482432] Oscar is the girl.[/QUOTE]
u fucking wot m8
guy is the girl do you not pay attention
[QUOTE=fritzel;45482289]And regret not saying that later when you look back in retrospection. Noice. Life's too short to take it seriously with a glum look. In the end you will regret things you didn't do.
He will still be living his own life and will probably feel much better. Feelings are meant to be let out. The more you keep it in, the stronger it grows.
Just don't sound desperate because you are letting go off your feelings towards her without much expectations.[/QUOTE]
It's going to sound desperate, because it is. And it's disturbing to be told stuff like that.
"Hey, you might not have considered it, but in the last four months I have been thinking so much about you and how much I like you, I think you should try being my boy/girlfriend"
That, coming from someone you don't want to date, puts you in a really awkward position, and is why a lot of girls simply stop talking to certain guys. It gets fucking annoying, as now you know that person isn't doing things to be your nice friend, but to get in your pants one way or another(when you specificall don't want them to).
[editline]24th July 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45482491]guy is the girl do you not pay attention[/QUOTE]
But there was no way to see if guy was talking to haloguy or hanalei :v:
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45482499]
But there was no way to see if guy was talking to haloguy or hanalei :v:[/QUOTE]
doesn't matter, still take her advice over fritzel's even if it's not applicable
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45482424]I don't really think trying to get into something with someone who's in a happy relationship will not end in a fucked up way.
Actually, the best that could happen is [i]her saying no and not feeling anything else[/i], if you have respect for her feelings, don't do it.
[/QUOTE]
Can you be sure that the relationship in question is an eternal one ? Like every other thing in life, it could very well be a fleeting one.
He can wait for days, weeks or may be years, but if he really needs to move on with his life then he must let go off his former self. Telling her his feelings is not an act of disrespect. Not accepting what follows after that and forcing your way is a sign of disrespect.
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45482424]
Plus, I disagree, the longer you keep a feeling for someone and nothing happens, it will eventually fade away, or it may become an obsession, wich isn't healthy at all, luckly the latter only happens if you let it grow.[/QUOTE]
Good or bad choices, what we eventually regret is the one where we stayed passive and went with the flow.
[editline]24th July 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;45482511]doesn't matter, still take her advice over fritzel's even if it's not applicable[/QUOTE]
Looks like same advice to me :v:
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