Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[ramirez!]

[QUOTE=Ardosos;40602261]What is an acceptable non-creepy-or-rude amount of time to maintain eye contact?[/QUOTE]

I tend to let my eyes drift whenever I'm actively thinking about something they're saying, that way I'm not staring them down. It's cool to look around while you're in a conversation, just so long as you look at them while you're talking [i]and[/i] while they're talking (at least for the majority of the time they are).

[Fire Kracker]

my girl friend wants me to say something cute to her every day and wants me to talk to her all day every day and so do her girl friends

i feel like this is expecting too much of me do you guys feel like this is asking too much of me i feel kind of annoyed

very annoyed

i mean i don't mind saying cute things to her once in a while but she gets sad if i don't talk to her for one day or if i don't say anything cute at all once, i understand this is her first relationship and all but god damn girl i don't hate you if i don't talk to you for ONE DAY asdfhjkl

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

not only that every single time she gets sad to she goes and tells everyone how i'm ignoring her and how sad she is

then they come to me and go "How could you do that" and they tell her "you should dump him" and i just go what the fuck

it pisses me off omfg

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

I slept in on a weekend and got fucking sad and started to tell her friends how i am ignoring her

AAAaaaagghhhh sometimes i feel like letting her go

but i like her too, we have fun when we hang out and when we talk together we always have things to say and we can relate to each other so well except for this

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

and then not only that she acts like she's better at relationships than i am, so she's always 'right' despite her never being in a relationship and the only thing she knows about them are from television, same with all of her friends

[Fire Kracker]

i have and then she says she will

then the very next day she'll do the same thing

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;40614232]my girl friend wants me to say something cute to her every day and wants me to talk to her all day every day and so do her girl friends

i feel like this is expecting too much of me do you guys feel like this is asking too much of me i feel kind of annoyed

very annoyed

i mean i don't mind saying cute things to her once in a while but she gets sad if i don't talk to her for one day or if i don't say anything cute at all once, i understand this is her first relationship and all but god damn girl i don't hate you if i don't talk to you for ONE DAY asdfhjkl

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

not only that every single time she gets sad to she goes and tells everyone how i'm ignoring her and how sad she is

then they come to me and go "How could you do that" and they tell her "you should dump him" and i just go what the fuck

it pisses me off omfg

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

I slept in on a weekend and got fucking sad and started to tell her friends how i am ignoring her

AAAaaaagghhhh sometimes i feel like letting her go

but i like her too, we have fun when we hang out and when we talk together we always have things to say and we can relate to each other so well except for this

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

and then not only that she acts like she's better at relationships than i am, so she's always 'right' despite her never being in a relationship and the only thing she knows about them are from television, same with all of her friends[/QUOTE]

Just sit her down at some point and talk it out. Explain you don't feel her expectations of you are realistic and it's making you unhappy.

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;40614315]i have and then she says she will

then the very next day she'll do the same thing[/QUOTE]

Well if it's not working out don't stick with it for the sake of it.

[Fire Kracker]

i told her that she was being annoying and if she keeps thinking that i don't like her everytime i'm busy then i'll really stop liking her

[Fire Kracker]

her stupid annoying ass 'ghetto' girl friend keeps calling me out too for not trying hard enough but she's fucking in love with a guy who's literally fucking another girl(who both admited to it)(who treats the 'ghetto' girl like shit) but she just does not give a shit and says that THAT guy still loves her more than he loves the girl he's actually with now, and she says he's trying harder than i am with her and comparing me and i'm just like what the fuck atleast i'm not fucking some other girl that she hates and trying to hold onto two relationships at once

[editline]12th May 2013[/editline]

i'm 18 and this relationship started this year

but she's acting like a little child

[blacksam]

Prom was a success. She was very nice, I texted her after asking if she wanted to see Gatsby this week and she said yes. Although, she and her friend showed me my ex's twitter, and Jesus is she bitter. She basically wished that tonight sucked for me and that I was a cheap date for two years, this was made aware to me after I paid for my date's dinner. I grew up. She blocked me on Facebook. She saw me wave to her before and couldn't make eye contact. That's the funny part because whenever I see her family I say Hi and ask them how they are doing, I'd rather be the classy one as opposed to spreading shit around for no reason.
The dance however was awesome. The whole awkward teen slow dance came on and we danced, but made fun of it the entire time. We went to after prom and played some games and ate tons of food. We hung out until 3:30 when it closed.I couldn't tell if she wanted something or didn't. She drove me home and seemed either scared I was going to kiss her good night or that I wouldn't . I didn't kiss her. I texted her, saying thanks for such a wonderful night, and that I was glad to have earned her friendship.
So basically, I don't know if I want to get involved with this girl because she'll be in another city by September for school. I also just want a close friend because she seems like the kind of person who would want to support her friends in whatever.

[Zareox]

I feel unsatisfied in my current relationship and I don't know why. I'm thinking that I may have used her as a rebound without realizing that I was doing it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her, but I just don't feel a good connection with her. I'm thinking of waiting another week and seeing how my opinion changes, but so far my opinion has stayed about the same. The other side is that maybe once I get my job and I won't feel pressured to hang out with her all the time, since I'm done with school and I'm currently unemployed, I have a lot of free time, and she broke her ankle a few months back and has been practically bedridden since and will continue to be until mid-June so she has had tons of free time.

I dunno, I just don't feel right. I feel like I have to force myself to hang out with her and that just isn't right.

[♠️♥️♦️♣️]

how often have you guys been hanging out though?

[massive_succ]

Okay Facepunch, I almost never post but I've come to you for some serious girlfriend/lady advice because I can't decide what to do.

I've been dating a girl who we'll call Jane for a year and a few months. She's shortish, brunette, very attractive and very sweet and ladylike. Our relationship has been one of those super cute relationships, and we would both agree that we love each other very much. She's a great girl, and I like her, but lately something has been up. I've been having less and less fun just being with her, and I've become rather bored in our relationship. I've started to notice what bothers me about her more and more lately, and we've started to fight more. I've kinda been doubtful about things for a week or two now, but just as I was getting back to normal with our relationship, classifying my doubt as a relationship growing pain, a new girl shows up.

Girl 2, who we'll call Linda is a girl from one of my high school classes, who sits right in front of me and we chat and hang out in JROTC all the time. She's pretty smart, nice, and cute, pretty much the same class of girl as Jane, but she's a far more mature person. Now, I'm a sophomore and she's a senior, so that's to be expected, but she really does have the mature, less cute more serious kind of personality that I really think would be better to have a relationship with. I feel like being with her would entail far less of the relationship hiccups that being with Jane causes, since she's more mature and far less excitable, but I don't want to loose the serious relationship that I have right now, for fear of not finding something like it again.

To top it all off, girl 2 really likes me, and we've been flirting via text for over a week. But being with her would be difficult past august, since she's going to college off in Arlington. (I live 30 miles away in the suburbs of Dallas.) I could drive up there, but she doesn't have her license so she couldn't make that work. Staying with Jane makes a lot of sense, but I don't think I'll be as excited as if I pursue Linda.

tl;dr: I've been dating a girl for over a year, and the relationship is a 7/10. New girl shows up right as I have doubts about my relationship with girl 1. I think dating new girl would push my relationship quality to 8/10 (so to speak,) but am hesitant to do anything since dating girl 2 would be very difficult from a logistics standpoint, and I still have lots of feelings for girl 1.

Sorry if I'm rambling, but I really don't know what to do.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Jucy Pony;40621440]Okay Facepunch, I almost never post but I've come to you for some serious girlfriend/lady advice because I can't decide what to do.

I've been dating a girl who we'll call Jane for a year and a few months. She's shortish, brunette, very attractive and very sweet and ladylike. Our relationship has been one of those super cute relationships, and we would both agree that we love each other very much. She's a great girl, and I like her, but lately something has been up. I've been having less and less fun just being with her, and I've become rather bored in our relationship. I've started to notice what bothers me about her more and more lately, and we've started to fight more. I've kinda been doubtful about things for a week or two now, but just as I was getting back to normal with our relationship, classifying my doubt as a relationship growing pain, a new girl shows up.

Girl 2, who we'll call Linda is a girl from one of my high school classes, who sits right in front of me and we chat and hang out in JROTC all the time. She's pretty smart, nice, and cute, pretty much the same class of girl as Jane, but she's a far more mature person. Now, I'm a sophomore and she's a senior, so that's to be expected, but she really does have the mature, less cute more serious kind of personality that I really think would be better to have a relationship with. I feel like being with her would entail far less of the relationship hiccups that being with Jane causes, since she's more mature and far less excitable, but I don't want to loose the serious relationship that I have right now, for fear of not finding something like it again.

To top it all off, girl 2 really likes me, and we've been flirting via text for over a week. But being with her would be difficult past august, since she's going to college off in Arlington. (I live 30 miles away in the suburbs of Dallas.) I could drive up there, but she doesn't have her license so she couldn't make that work. Staying with Jane makes a lot of sense, but I don't think I'll be as excited as if I pursue Linda.

tl;dr: I've been dating a girl for over a year, and the relationship is a 7/10. New girl shows up right as I have doubts about my relationship with girl 1. I think dating new girl would push my relationship quality to 8/10 (so to speak,) but am hesitant to do anything since dating girl 2 would be very difficult from a logistics standpoint, and I still have lots of feelings for girl 1.

Sorry if I'm rambling, but I really don't know what to do.[/QUOTE]

Don't rate relationships, especially ones you haven't even had.
The grass is always greener on the other side, any relationships will have problems. The maturity of a person doesn't mean you will have less problems, it means that they will work through them.
Rather than running away without trying to fix it.
Which is honestly what it sounds like with you. Sounds like you hit a little inevitable bump and clung to the first good thing you saw.
If your around someone all the time it can definitely get boring, try doing some stuff with your friends instead or just get out alone some times. Or get together and do something really different, doing the same thing all the time can get boring and make it less special.
If she is moving fairly far away as well I wouldn't risk current relationship for that, longer distance stuff is harder than a close distance one, and since you seem to be having trouble sticking to one girl as is I don't think that would be a great idea for you.

Anyway, that's my opinion and stop flirting around while your in a relationship you dummy. This is what makes girls so paranoid with their relationships, and it won't help you decide. Your toying with a possibility that you should honestly be leaving alone flirting seriously with other girls is just going to make the decision harder either way.

[Zareox]

[QUOTE=Mobon1;40620976]how often have you guys been hanging out though?[/QUOTE]

About five times a week I'd say, on average, which is a lot. Usually not for too long, like 3 to 4 hours normally. I dunno I feel like my feelings for her aren't really there. I might ask her if we could just not hang out as much. But I don't know what is normal for a relationship to hang out. I know my last one we hung out all the time also.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Jucy Pony;40621440]Okay Facepunch, I almost never post but I've come to you for some serious girlfriend/lady advice because I can't decide what to do.[/QUOTE]

your situation is completely normal, usually feelings of infatuation will start to die off after anywhere from a few months to a few years. however you need to realize that no matter who you're with your relationship will eventually dull down and stop being exciting, finding a new girlfriend isn't going to solve anything. whenever people do what you're doing and get scared and ditch the person they've been with for a few months they almost always end up going back to that person, and in some cases they'll do it over and over and over again - break up with someone they like being with because they feel like the relationship is dying down and then start missing them as soon as they've ended things.

[massive_succ]

Thanks guys. I suppose I just needed to hear that from someone. I really appreciate the help. :smile:

[Talatandi]

This chick I like showed interest in dating me and for the first time in a while I was happy. The next day she gets back with her ex.

[Aegis]

The paranoia of the girl I like, liking someone else and wanting nothing to do with me is driving me crazy. I was fairly certain she liked before, but it seemed like the second I showed interest in her, she doesn't want it. I'm so fustrated right now.

[FreddiRox!]

Can someone tell me how to call a conversation off? I know when, but I feel rude, especially when a conversation is flowing.

[Heigou]

[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;40625961]Can someone tell me how to call a conversation off? I know when, but I feel rude, especially when a conversation is flowing.[/QUOTE]

I just pretend I'm going to woo me a hot bish then the bishes gets gelatinous.

[lifemonkey]

I have a super difficult time making up my mind in things. I feel like for the past year I've been in this relationship I have depended too much on the opinion of my girlfriend that I have kind of forgotten how to make up my own mind. I've always looked to her for approval or for guidance. I guess that makes me weak.

Now that I want to move back home and live with my Dad, because her and I haven't been getting along, and because living with Dad was just so awesome, I feel like I can't approach her and say it's all done. I love her and I don't want to hurt her, but I'm just not happy anymore here. If her and I could both move back to our original city, maybe things would be better, but she's stuck here for university... It's so much easier when she's the one causing the problems and picking the fights.

[I ARE REPTAR]

Ahh, so for the past 7 months I've had a girlfriend and spent most of my free time hanging out with my best friends and her. But now we've broken up, and literally a week after BOTH of my best friends get girlfriends. Now no one hangs out with me and i spend all my time in my house doing nothing.

Fuck

[lifemonkey]

[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;40628646]Ahh, so for the past 7 months I've had a girlfriend and spent most of my free time hanging out with my best friends and her. But now we've broken up, and literally a week after BOTH of my best friends get girlfriends. Now no one hangs out with me and i spend all my time in my house doing nothing.

Fuck[/QUOTE]

The relationship is just new to them, they'll probably come around sooner or later, once they realize they aren't actually addicted to the girl.

Until then, do what you can to enjoy your time alone, honestly, I spent a lot of time with my family when I was single, it was awesome.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;40628646]Ahh, so for the past 7 months I've had a girlfriend and spent most of my free time hanging out with my best friends and her. But now we've broken up, and literally a week after BOTH of my best friends get girlfriends. Now no one hangs out with me and i spend all my time in my house doing nothing.

Fuck[/QUOTE]

Have you tried organizing a time for everyone to hang out or are they just not asking you? Very different situations.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Jucy Pony;40621440]Okay Facepunch, I almost never post but I've come to you for some serious girlfriend/lady advice because I can't decide what to do.

I've been dating a girl who we'll call Jane for a year and a few months. She's shortish, brunette, very attractive and very sweet and ladylike. Our relationship has been one of those super cute relationships, and we would both agree that we love each other very much. She's a great girl, and I like her, but lately something has been up. I've been having less and less fun just being with her, and I've become rather bored in our relationship. I've started to notice what bothers me about her more and more lately, and we've started to fight more. I've kinda been doubtful about things for a week or two now, but just as I was getting back to normal with our relationship, classifying my doubt as a relationship growing pain, a new girl shows up.

Girl 2, who we'll call Linda is a girl from one of my high school classes, who sits right in front of me and we chat and hang out in JROTC all the time. She's pretty smart, nice, and cute, pretty much the same class of girl as Jane, but she's a far more mature person. Now, I'm a sophomore and she's a senior, so that's to be expected, but she really does have the mature, less cute more serious kind of personality that I really think would be better to have a relationship with. I feel like being with her would entail far less of the relationship hiccups that being with Jane causes, since she's more mature and far less excitable, but I don't want to loose the serious relationship that I have right now, for fear of not finding something like it again.

To top it all off, girl 2 really likes me, and we've been flirting via text for over a week. But being with her would be difficult past august, since she's going to college off in Arlington. (I live 30 miles away in the suburbs of Dallas.) I could drive up there, but she doesn't have her license so she couldn't make that work. Staying with Jane makes a lot of sense, but I don't think I'll be as excited as if I pursue Linda.

tl;dr: I've been dating a girl for over a year, and the relationship is a 7/10. New girl shows up right as I have doubts about my relationship with girl 1. I think dating new girl would push my relationship quality to 8/10 (so to speak,) but am hesitant to do anything since dating girl 2 would be very difficult from a logistics standpoint, and I still have lots of feelings for girl 1.

Sorry if I'm rambling, but I really don't know what to do.[/QUOTE]

I think you should go with your gut here.

I mean, if you're getting more and more bored in this relationship you're having I don't think it's healthy for you to keep hanging on to it just because it feels safe.

I know it feels like a big gamble but you really have to think about your happiness here and I think you should risk it.

Things are not working out and if you're barely coping with the relationship you're currently on then how much more can you take.

I think that if this girl is more mature you should go for it but be sincere about it with your current girl.

Sometimes things don't work out and I don't think that if that relationship is going down in months it won't go any better from now on.

I may sound like an ass move but it isn't. I'd say go for it. Even if it takes some effort at least try.

Personally I'd rather have 2 great months with the love of my life than a few more with a bland girl who seems like a great GF.

I think that if you were truly in love with Jane you wouldn't be having second thoughts about her nor even fighting with her. She's a great gf I'm sure but in life there are Girlfriends, the Love of your life and the woman you'll have children with. It's up to you to see where Jane stands among the 3.

My advice, if I were you, is go for Linda.

If after August things don't work, at least you tried. Being single is way better than being a relationship that doesn't feel right.

I'm just saying this because a few months is not enough to really Love someone. If you were dating Jane for like a year I wouldn't be encouraging you to go for Linda with so much enthusiasm.

But well, In the end it's up to you to evaluate the weight of both persons, but most times change and making decisions are the things that make you happier.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;40628646]Ahh, so for the past 7 months I've had a girlfriend and spent most of my free time hanging out with my best friends and her. But now we've broken up, and literally a week after BOTH of my best friends get girlfriends. Now no one hangs out with me and i spend all my time in my house doing nothing.

Fuck[/QUOTE]

Go out and do stuff/ find more friends

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;40633297]I think you should go with your gut here.

I mean, if you're getting more and more bored in this relationship you're having I don't think it's healthy for you to keep hanging on to it just because it feels safe.

I know it feels like a big gamble but you really have to think about your happiness here and I think you should risk it.

Things are not working out and if you're barely coping with the relationship you're currently on then how much more can you take.

I think that if this girl is more mature you should go for it but be sincere about it with your current girl.

Sometimes things don't work out and I don't think that if that relationship is going down in months it won't go any better from now on.

I may sound like an ass move but it isn't. I'd say go for it. Even if it takes some effort at least try.

Personally I'd rather have 2 great months with the love of my life than a few more with a bland girl who seems like a great GF.

I think that if you were truly in love with Jane you wouldn't be having second thoughts about her [B]nor even fighting with her[/B]. She's a great gf I'm sure but in life there are Girlfriends, the Love of your life and the woman you'll have children with. It's up to you to see where Jane stands among the 3.

My advice, if I were you, is go for Linda.

If after August things don't work, at least you tried. Being single is way better than being a relationship that doesn't feel right.

I'm just saying this because a few months is not enough to really Love someone. If you were dating Jane for like a year I wouldn't be encouraging you to go for Linda with so much enthusiasm.

But well, In the end it's up to you to evaluate the weight of both persons, but most times change and making decisions are the things that make you happier.[/QUOTE]

I disagree overall, as i've stated my opinion earlier but I would just like to point out how ridiculous this sentence, and especially this part is. "If you love eachother you won't argue" is a way over the top movie expectation. Everyone argues sometimes.

[I ARE REPTAR]

[QUOTE=Rhenae;40632178]Have you tried organizing a time for everyone to hang out or are they just not asking you? Very different situations.[/QUOTE]

I've asked them every single weekend to hangout and they both just keep telling me they have plans then tag themselves on Facebook out having "Couple nights".

It just sucks because every time they asked me to hangout while i had a girlfriend i did.

[blacksam]

My ex is scaring me. She threatened suicide. She confessed to smoking hookah to me over the phone. She's underage. She said if she saw me she'd take me back, she would hit me with her car and take me home. She hates seeing me happy in the halls. I installed an app to record the phone calls. She is not well. It is really scary to me to see how far she has fallen. She looks thin and sickly and I feel responsible, but I just know how abusive she was to me. I said we could be friends, but I can't be in a relationship right now. I said I don't want to lead her on. I can't be with her. She threatened to send my prom date trash about me. I am legitimately afraid she will hurt someone or herself. Do I call her parents?

[Zareox]

If you are legitimately concerned, I would start with her parents. But that might only heighten the situation. I think it would be wise to go speak with her school counselor first. From there the counselor can talk to your ex one on one as well as speak to her parents. She would know how to proceed for something like that.

[editline]13th May 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Zareox7;40618547]I feel unsatisfied in my current relationship and I don't know why. I'm thinking that I may have used her as a rebound without realizing that I was doing it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her, but I just don't feel a good connection with her. I'm thinking of waiting another week and seeing how my opinion changes, but so far my opinion has stayed about the same. The other side is that maybe once I get my job and I won't feel pressured to hang out with her all the time, since I'm done with school and I'm currently unemployed, I have a lot of free time, and she broke her ankle a few months back and has been practically bedridden since and will continue to be until mid-June so she has had tons of free time.

I dunno, I just don't feel right. I feel like I have to force myself to hang out with her and that just isn't right.[/QUOTE]

So continuing on from my last post, I had an interesting conversation with her today. She normally does horse shows for many weeks at a time and spends little time at home during the summer and her season will be starting soon and she'll be gone for a long time. I haven't told her what I feel yet, but she gave me four options. Since her show season tends to put strain on the relationships, she said I can utilize one of four options. Firstly, I can use the "Out Clause" which is just break up, secondly we could make the relationship an open one until she's done, thirdly we could take a break and essentially not talk until she returns and if we decide so end the relationship completely there or continue on as normal, or we can just continue on as normal through her show season.

I'm not the kind of person to have an open relationship, but I'm not sure where I want to go from here. I'm thinking I might take a break from her while she's on show season and see what I'll do from there. She said if I take any of the four options, she completely understands and I don't need to explain myself to her, but I know it will break her heart, and I knew that since I didn't tell her right away that I wanted it to continue like normal, she knew that there was doubt. I think I just need to spend a few days thinking it over and then just stick with a decision.

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=blacksam;40636052]My ex is scaring me. She threatened suicide. She confessed to smoking hookah to me over the phone. She's underage. She said if she saw me she'd take me back, she would hit me with her car and take me home. She hates seeing me happy in the halls. I installed an app to record the phone calls. She is not well. It is really scary to me to see how far she has fallen. She looks thin and sickly and I feel responsible, but I just know how abusive she was to me. I said we could be friends, but I can't be in a relationship right now. I said I don't want to lead her on. I can't be with her. She threatened to send my prom date trash about me. I am legitimately afraid she will hurt someone or herself. Do I call her parents?[/QUOTE]

Tell a counselor as soon as you can, and you can get their advice while you are there on what you should do.
You can't let yourself feel guilty for someone elses problems, so far I think your dealing with this best you can. Don't just get back with her because of this, it's trapping yourself and inevitably going to make everything worse on both sides.

[lifemonkey]

Speak up to some staff members at the school, they can take the proper steps from there. That is serious shit.