Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=AcidGravy;45636448]It was less awkward and more unsure of ourselves. And I see where you're coming from, maybe I'm just looking for her affection because she's been keeping me "warm" as you said. And I believed "he's only practice for when we get together" because I feel like she might be dropping hints, as if thats what she wants.
Or I might be overthinking it and she's just confusing me. That is a likely possibility.[/QUOTE]
your relationship with her is messy and complicated, go out and have some fun and stop worrying so much about it.
If it's meant to happen it will, otherwise don't worry about it
If she's single any time soon and you still feel this way ask her out. But don't involve yourself in something that is making you feel so emotionally unstable
Ex dumped me a year and a half ago out of nowhere, I still don't know why and I'm still shattered. Not so much over her, but I've lost all faith in myself because I was so sure of our relationship and I thought things were going so well, then boom, done. She said she didn't want a relationship anymore but that's not a real reason, I just want to know why. I'd feel better if she said she cheated on me or something, then I'd have closure. So all I can do is blame myself. I used to have no trouble with girls, now I haven't had any feelings for anyone in over a year, even though I want to, I feel like I can't let myself do it because I'll just get hurt even worse and feel like an idiot. Help.
[QUOTE=AcidGravy;45636448]It was less awkward and more unsure of ourselves. And I see where you're coming from, maybe I'm just looking for her affection because she's been keeping me "warm" as you said. And I believed "he's only practice for when we get together" because I feel like she might be dropping hints, as if thats what she wants.
Or I might be overthinking it and she's just confusing me. That is a likely possibility.[/QUOTE]
Well, the thing is you shouldn't overthink this. You both are not even together in a real way but yet it's already complicated and messy, that's not a good sign for it being a fruitful and loving relationship. It's better to just let it slide now and move on or else you might get into bigger trouble. That said, it's always easy to say "just move on" but in this case I think it's really the best option.
Urbanmonkey.
Know exactly what you're going through and how the lack of closure can really fill you up with a lot of questions and insecurities.
It's like pulling the rug under your feet. "what went wrong?", "what did I do wrong? I gave my best" were usually the thoughts that came to my mind while I was dissecting all that was said in that embarrassing and patronizing last talk.
The bad news is that you're gonna have to take the bumpy road and let it go by yourself. Losing confidence in yourself is the only thing you need to focus on fighting. Instead try to just divert yourself into a more rational introspection.
I'm not implying that there's something wrong with you. I'm saying that you should focus on improving certain features you have neglected so far.
Also you need to work on taking your mind of her. This is gonna sound a cliché but being around friends and people with a good "vibe" help a lot. A hobby also helps.
Just don't isolate yourself.
I just came to my grandparent's farm in the country side for a couple of weeks thinking that a little solitude and contemplation would do me good but instead I find my mind diverting to the girl that dumped a couple of months back.
Now I'm struggling hard to find stuff to spend the time and going to bed early so I can wake up early too so I don't mop around all the time. I'm a hopeless romantic.
It's tough but time helps it go away.
[editline]9th August 2014[/editline]
It's important to accept the fact that a lot of people out there won't be able to accept us in a romantic way. Sometimes ever. Rejection is a part of life and a cruel teacher. You should learn to deal with it and learn to pick yourself up and tell yourself "It's her problem" and move on.
Don't worry.
The moment another girl comes into your life you'll forget about these insecurities.
My advice in these matters is : don't put down the sword. Don't be afraid to be passionately in love and enjoy the feeling even if there's a chance you'll crash and burn.
Love is cruel. Deal with it.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;45637738]It's important to accept the fact that a lot of people out there won't be able to accept us in a romantic way. Sometimes ever. Rejection is a part of life and a cruel teacher. You should learn to deal with it and learn to pick yourself up and tell yourself "It's her problem" and move on.[/QUOTE]
Very true. Lots of people will turn you down and hurt you throughout your life - eventually you have to learn that it's their problem and not yours. If someone rejects you, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means that you and that particular person didn't click well or they had other problems going on in their life. Try to focus on the positive experiences you've had with other people rather than dwelling on the negative ones.
[QUOTE=urbanmonkey;45636526]Ex dumped me a year and a half ago out of nowhere, I still don't know why and I'm still shattered. Not so much over her, but I've lost all faith in myself because I was so sure of our relationship and I thought things were going so well, then boom, done. She said she didn't want a relationship anymore but that's not a real reason, I just want to know why. I'd feel better if she said she cheated on me or something, then I'd have closure. So all I can do is blame myself. I used to have no trouble with girls, now I haven't had any feelings for anyone in over a year, even though I want to, I feel like I can't let myself do it because I'll just get hurt even worse and feel like an idiot. Help.[/QUOTE]
I know that feeling, it always makes you look for reasons. I felt like that a lot until I came to a point in a relationship I just had to sit down and say I really didn't want a relationship, because my mind was just focused on so many other things I felt I couldn't be the boyfriend she deserved.
It put so much weight of my shoulders, and it gave me a really changed perspective. Literally ten days later she invited me to s cruise, we got drunk as shit, cried and got back together some days later.
I guess some people just need a break from relationships now and then. Just to heal themselves and be selfish for a moment without thinking about what someone else thinks of it.
Don't worry man. It's probably nothing about you, it just didn't work out for her, and if she never talked about it before, you're probably better off.
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45637914]I know that feeling, it always makes you look for reasons. I felt like that a lot until I came to a point in a relationship I just had to sit down and say I really didn't want a relationship, because my mind was just focused on so many other things I felt I couldn't be the boyfriend she deserved.
It put so much weight of my shoulders, and it gave me a really changed perspective. Literally ten days later she invited me to s cruise, we got drunk as shit, cried and got back together some days later.
I guess some people just need a break from relationships now and then. Just to heal themselves and be selfish for a moment without thinking about what someone else thinks of it.
Don't worry man. It's probably nothing about you, it just didn't work out for her, and if she never talked about it before, you're probably better off.[/QUOTE]
Wow, this post gave me so much hope for my own relationship in the same boat (no pun intended... [B]or?[/B]) you wouldn't believe it. I posted in here about a month ago when my girlfriend broke up with me for the same issue urbanmonkey mentioned.
She has clinical depression and ADHD and takes medication for it, and has a very craving hobby, so all that was the breaking point for her I guess when she was also trying to maintain a long distance relationship with me of 68 miles during summer break.
I couldn't get over her at all and I still haven't, so I ended up messaging her a few days ago saying I wanted to talk to her about us and get some closure - She agreed on it so now we're going to talk it out in a couple weeks when school's starting up and we're at the dorms again.
Theres very very frequent parties there so all I can do is really hope we cry about it and get back together just like that :v:
More social/mental help than relationship advice, actually 0% relationship advice and 100% social but here goes:
For some reason, this past week I've been nothing but an irrational asshole to people. So far I've managed to make people afraid to be around me or at the very least just want to stay a distance from me, yelled at a relative over something petty and made her cry, and now I yelled at my manager at work in front of everybody and had to leave early.
I'm usually referred to as the "quiet, shy one" but this past-week I don't really know what is going on with me. I'm not sleep-deprived and I don't recall anything bad/sad happening to me to make me feel this way. I even acknowledge the fact that I'm being a major douche but for some reason I just can't control whatever is happening to me, and the damage is already done afterwards. All I know is everyday I'm walking around with a tense feeling in me and I can't help but think negative, dark thoughts about everything. It's hard to make a comparison, but it's like getting black-out drunk and not remembering what you did the morning after - but in my case it's like going into a blind fit of rage, losing yourself and coming back to reality during the aftermath of what you just did.
Not looking for sympathy, just want to know straight up what is going on with me.
[QUOTE=ehheh;45642654]More social/mental help than relationship advice, actually 0% relationship advice and 100% social but here goes:
For some reason, this past week I've been nothing but an irrational asshole to people. So far I've managed to make people afraid to be around me or at the very least just want to stay a distance from me, yelled at a relative over something petty and made her cry, and now I yelled at my manager at work in front of everybody and had to leave early.
I'm usually referred to as the "quiet, shy one" but this past-week I don't really know what is going on with me. I'm not sleep-deprived and I don't recall anything bad/sad happening to me to make me feel this way. I even acknowledge the fact that I'm being a major douche but for some reason I just can't control whatever is happening to me, and the damage is already done afterwards. All I know is everyday I'm walking around with a tense feeling in me and I can't help but think negative, dark thoughts about everything. It's hard to make a comparison, but it's like getting black-out drunk and not remembering what you did the morning after - but in my case it's like going into a blind fit of rage, losing yourself and coming back to reality during the aftermath of what you just did.
Not looking for sympathy, just want to know straight up what is going on with me.[/QUOTE]
You are able to recognize it's an issue. It could just be a bad week. I would apologize to your relative and especially your manager if you intend on keeping your job. It doesn't even need to be face to face, email is a good option too.
As far as blind fits of rage, you can work on it. You've already had some of the ground work covered by being able to reflect on your actions. If you think it's a deeper issue, you need to be able to recognize when you're being a "major douche" at that moment and ask if it's worth getting upset with someone over something petty.
That's hard for a lot of people, so you're not alone in that. Learn how to see yourself out of that situation. The real test though is being able to apologize and demonstrate empathy.
Don't be afraid to go chill out every once in a while too. I know a lot of people who have high stress level jobs and end up chewing out everyone they see. I know some kids who are studying to be engineers who take up smoking/drinking because it keeps them "level". I'm not advocating for the use of drugs or alcohol, I'm just pointing that some people have something they do to keep them level. For me, it's running. So after school or if I generally feel like I am pissed off at the world, I go outside and start running.
Shit man, in 4 hours i will be meeting over 100 new people that i will be living and attending school with for a year. Im so nervous. Leaving all of my friends, leaving my family. Excitiiiing
[QUOTE=ehheh;45642654]More social/mental help than relationship advice, actually 0% relationship advice and 100% social but here goes:
For some reason, this past week I've been nothing but an irrational asshole to people. So far I've managed to make people afraid to be around me or at the very least just want to stay a distance from me, yelled at a relative over something petty and made her cry, and now I yelled at my manager at work in front of everybody and had to leave early.
I'm usually referred to as the "quiet, shy one" but this past-week I don't really know what is going on with me. I'm not sleep-deprived and I don't recall anything bad/sad happening to me to make me feel this way. I even acknowledge the fact that I'm being a major douche but for some reason I just can't control whatever is happening to me, and the damage is already done afterwards. All I know is everyday I'm walking around with a tense feeling in me and I can't help but think negative, dark thoughts about everything. It's hard to make a comparison, but it's like getting black-out drunk and not remembering what you did the morning after - but in my case it's like going into a blind fit of rage, losing yourself and coming back to reality during the aftermath of what you just did.
Not looking for sympathy, just want to know straight up what is going on with me.[/QUOTE]
that you know you were an ass you should go and apologize
nothing is worse than an unrepentant asshole, like one of my exfriends
i stopped talking to him and avoided him entirely after he admitted it and just accepted it, then i told our mutual friend "dude if he's there i'm out, he can be your friend but not mine."
they told me he used to be a nicer guy before and he's different now but frankly i don't care about how he was, only how he is now
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;45646682]that you know you were an ass you should go and apologize
nothing is worse than an unrepentant asshole, like one of my exfriends
i stopped talking to him and avoided him entirely after he admitted it and just accepted it, then i told our mutual friend "dude if he's there i'm out, he can be your friend but not mine."
they told me he used to be a nicer guy before and he's different now but frankly i don't care about how he was, only how he is now[/QUOTE]
Yea, I truly don't want to be an ass. It's just gonna suck since I was an ass to a lot of people, and even though I know I know I'm in the wrong, it's gonna be embarrassing apologizing to all of them. Guess that's a pride thing. Plus I don't know what if I have a random outburst sometime after apologizing, but that is something I need to get a control on as blacksam said.
[QUOTE=Zar;45646613]Shit man, in 4 hours i will be meeting over 100 new people that i will be living and attending school with for a year. Im so nervous. Leaving all of my friends, leaving my family. Excitiiiing[/QUOTE]
First impressions really count. It's natural to feel nervous, but try not to let it show too much when you meet them.
Try to get talking to as many people as possible. It'll help you in the coming weeks find a group that you like. Good luck
So Ive been in this relationship with my girlfriend for so long, and for the longest time I've been so grateful for it. But now at the time being, I don't feel anywhere near as grateful as I used to. Like our spark is almost entirely gone for me. I still care about her so much, but the feelings I used to have so strong for her are now fading so badly. I don't want to leave her. I am the only thing holding her together, and the feeling of having someone care for me is what I've always wanted.. but I just feel so unsatisfied right now I hate it.
It also fluctuates. Some days my feelings are good, I love her a lot, like whenever we have good sex, or have a good day together for instance, but some other days I just feel so different. So lost. I feel like one of the above posters like maybe I don't want a relationship, but at the same time I don't want to shatter what I have right now.
I think a lot of the stress we went through over the months have taken a lot out of me, and I just feel so weak about it all now. I've spent so much of my time with her helping her get through all of her emotional problems that she constantly has. I know as the boyfriend it's what I should be doing, and I was grateful for to be there for her, but it's just not helping her at all. Nothing I do helps her in the long term and it just makes everything worse for me.
I just find it hard to be there now because of how much I feel like i've lost.
Is it gonna be hard to get my feelings back strong for what I have? Or will it keep declining and declining until something bad happens?
I can't believe it fucking happened again! :v:
This girl whom I some time ago finally dared to ask out and whom said that it would have been fun and lovely.
Well the first date never came due to her first having a really busy work schedule.
And somewhere there in between she managed to find someone else.
I even had a god damned dream about it on Friday night.
Doesn't help either that yesterday I had to say goodbye to my two closest friends whom moved 500 km away.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;45656486]I can't believe it fucking happened again! :v:
This girl whom I some time ago finally dared to ask out and whom said that it would have been fun and lovely.
Well the first date never came due to her first having a really busy work schedule.
And somewhere there in between she managed to find someone else.
I even had a god damned dream about it on Friday night.
Doesn't help either that yesterday I had to say goodbye to my two closest friends whom moved 500 km away.[/QUOTE]
If a person is really interested in you, she/he always find some time to spend with you. I'm afraid that having a "busy work schedule" is just an excuse in order not to meet you. Especially if she gets together with someone else. But don't be to upset about it, it's not worth your time.
[QUOTE=GoDLik3;45656271]So Ive been in this relationship with my girlfriend for so long, and for the longest time I've been so grateful for it. But now at the time being, I don't feel anywhere near as grateful as I used to. Like our spark is almost entirely gone for me. I still care about her so much, but the feelings I used to have so strong for her are now fading so badly. I don't want to leave her. I am the only thing holding her together, and the feeling of having someone care for me is what I've always wanted.. but I just feel so unsatisfied right now I hate it.
It also fluctuates. Some days my feelings are good, I love her a lot, like whenever we have good sex, or have a good day together for instance, but some other days I just feel so different. So lost. I feel like one of the above posters like maybe I don't want a relationship, but at the same time I don't want to shatter what I have right now.
I think a lot of the stress we went through over the months have taken a lot out of me, and I just feel so weak about it all now. I've spent so much of my time with her helping her get through all of her emotional problems that she constantly has. I know as the boyfriend it's what I should be doing, and I was grateful for to be there for her, but it's just not helping her at all. Nothing I do helps her in the long term and it just makes everything worse for me.
I just find it hard to be there now because of how much I feel like i've lost.
Is it gonna be hard to get my feelings back strong for what I have? Or will it keep declining and declining until something bad happens?[/QUOTE]
That happens, man. Trust me. Feelings fluctuate all the time. But if you're in a fulfilling relationship, it shouldn't be too difficult to weather out the slumps in the relationship. Perhaps have some more alone time with friends, to sort of recuperate? That way, when you're with her, it's more special and you won't feel like you're stuck being her emotional crutch 24/7.
But yeah, it happens with loads of people. Sometimes you just get a slump in the relationship, but part of being together is battling through the slump because you know it'll bounce back.
PS: this isn't to say you should stick around in a dead-end relationship. If you have a healthy relationship, I'm just saying don't be scared when your feelings for your SO go down a bit. It happens. Don't feel like it's unique to you and take it as a sign that you aren't happy and you gotta leave her.
[QUOTE=junker154;45657269]If a person is really interested in you, she/he always find some time to spend with you. I'm afraid that having a "busy work schedule" is just an excuse in order not to meet you. Especially if she gets together with someone else. But don't be to upset about it, it's not worth your time.[/QUOTE]
So-so, some people do actually have busy lives and commitments to keep, so it's not always an excuse, it's when they either cannot propose a time where they can meet up with you or do it repeatedly.
[QUOTE=metallics;45658125]So-so, some people do actually have busy lives and commitments to keep, so it's not always an excuse, it's when they either cannot propose a time where they can meet up with you or do it repeatedly.[/QUOTE]
Of course, you're right. But when you are really interested in a person, you somewhat have a desire to get some spare time to spend some time with that particular person. But saying you're busy multiple times and then just get together with some other guy, it's a tad weird to me. I'm not saying that having a busy work schedule means always automatically means that it's some kind of excuse.
Recently I wanted to date a girl, she always said she was so busy multiple times but I saw her going out several times and noticed that she had quite a lot of spare time. My friends had similar experiences.
This relationship happened quite suddenly she said and thus they are taking it real slow.
As she'd still like to see me, even if only as friends.
I am currently struggling with the phrase "Comparing apples to oranges."
I am at my wit's end here and I need to make a decision between either transferring to another school to try out the "college experience" or living at home and completing my classes while working on campus.
If we're talking about programs, they're both equivalent. As a cs major, they're both the same, the one I could transfer to doesn't require linear algebra.
If we're talking about people, they're extremely different. Transfer school is notoriously a party and preppy school. The commuter school I am at right now, the social atmosphere doesn't exist.
There are people I know from high school from both places and honestly, they're still the same people.
My indecisiveness is sickening
One day it's, "I'll stay home, work really hard. Find a girl here. Get a job on campus here. It will be totally awesome."
Next day it's, "I'll go away, work really hard. Find a girl there. Get a job on campus there. It will be totally awesome."
I am sick of spending my days sitting at home trying to keep myself occupied. I don't know what will be so different if I go away and at the same time I feel like everything will be different. Which is terrifying.
Spent this morning flipping a coin, and said,[I]Well I don't know if that's the right choice...[/I] for both places. Time is running out. Both schools have tuition due at the end of the week.
You'd think with the amount of Life cereal I have ingested, I would have all the answers, but here I am, still questioning my lactose intolerance towards moving or not.
[QUOTE=blacksam;45662660]I am currently struggling with the phrase "Comparing apples to oranges."
I am at my wit's end here and I need to make a decision between either transferring to another school to try out the "college experience" or living at home and completing my classes while working on campus.
If we're talking about programs, they're both equivalent. As a cs major, they're both the same, the one I could transfer to doesn't require linear algebra.
If we're talking about people, they're extremely different. Transfer school is notoriously a party and preppy school. The commuter school I am at right now, the social atmosphere doesn't exist.
There are people I know from high school from both places and honestly, they're still the same people.
My indecisiveness is sickening
One day it's, "I'll stay home, work really hard. Find a girl here. Get a job on campus here. It will be totally awesome."
Next day it's, "I'll go away, work really hard. Find a girl there. Get a job on campus there. It will be totally awesome."
I am sick of spending my days sitting at home trying to keep myself occupied. I don't know what will be so different if I go away and at the same time I feel like everything will be different. Which is terrifying.
Spent this morning flipping a coin, and said,[I]Well I don't know if that's the right choice...[/I] for both places. Time is running out. Both schools have tuition due at the end of the week.
You'd think with the amount of Life cereal I have ingested, I would have all the answers, but here I am, still questioning my lactose intolerance towards moving or not.[/QUOTE]
All I will say is if you move out, don't become a broke ass bum like I did.
Moving out in general sounds like a risk, your going to need to fund an apartment (or residence) and being in the party atmosphere isn't necessarily good. A heck of a lot of people totally fuck over their first year because they spend it partying rather than getting their work done. You also need to consider what hours your working, if you will be working to pay your rent there is going to be a minimum number of hours you HAVE to work which ads extra stress on top of hours required for school, and then whatever social life you want.
Both are acceptable options though and no one here can make that choice for you, just remember not to fuck over your education in the long term.
If you haven't yet try writing out all the pros and cons for each place and compare on paper, might help make it clearer
[QUOTE=junker154;45658154]Of course, you're right. But when you are really interested in a person, you somewhat have a desire to get some spare time to spend some time with that particular person. But saying you're busy multiple times and then just get together with some other guy, it's a tad weird to me. I'm not saying that having a busy work schedule means always automatically means that it's some kind of excuse.
Recently I wanted to date a girl, she always said she was so busy multiple times but I saw her going out several times and noticed that she had quite a lot of spare time. My friends had similar experiences.[/QUOTE]
The last girl I tried to date actually approached me first, but then regardless of whether the suggestion was from me or her, would end up busy.
But now I'm trying to initiate contact with an artist girl who I'll be attending uni with, but I'm hitting some anxiety
I'm not quite sure how to do that via text, or maybe I do but I just don't think I know how
Basically my plan right now is throw out a "Hey!" and then maybe a "what's up?" after their initial response, which is what I've been able to gleam from previous conversations with other people
I'm friends with her on fb in the first place because I asked on the college's page if anyone was interested in hanging out and drawing, and she showed interest
And more recently I started posting my art on instagram and she's been liking/commenting a ton of it
So I'm not making a completely cold approach, and although part of me says "Whatever man you're overthinking it just get on this" there's another part of me waving it's arms around and blithering, wearing a nametag that says "Hi, my name's Anxiety"
Basically, I would ask "should I just shoot off a "Hey!" to this girl and not worry about it?" but I already know the answer is yes so I'll do that tomorrow morning
[QUOTE=ZenX2;45666031]The last girl I tried to date actually approached me first, but then regardless of whether the suggestion was from me or her, would end up busy.
But now I'm trying to initiate contact with an artist girl who I'll be attending uni with, but I'm hitting some anxiety
I'm not quite sure how to do that via text, or maybe I do but I just don't think I know how
Basically my plan right now is throw out a "Hey!" and then maybe a "what's up?" after their initial response, which is what I've been able to gleam from previous conversations with other people
I'm friends with her on fb in the first place because I asked on the college's page if anyone was interested in hanging out and drawing, and she showed interest
And more recently I started posting my art on instagram and she's been liking/commenting a ton of it
So I'm not making a completely cold approach, and although part of me says "Whatever man you're overthinking it just get on this" there's another part of me waving it's arms around and blithering, wearing a nametag that says "Hi, my name's Anxiety"
Basically, I would ask "should I just shoot off a "Hey!" to this girl and not worry about it?" but I already know the answer is yes so I'll do that tomorrow morning[/QUOTE]
I fully understand how you feel. At first I we started chatting for a while and we both chatted quite a bit each day. Then one day we both went out and had a good time (at least imo) and we both concluded that we would do something together again. But basically after that I tried writing her a few times and she seldom replied and even when she did, it was just some generic excuse not bothering to write and now we haven't written for a while. So really I don't bother trying to force something. Basically you don't want to fuck up anything and end it in awkwardness but when you never really try, you won't see any results at all.
[QUOTE=junker154;45666142]I fully understand how you feel. At first I we started chatting for a while and we both chatted quite a bit each day. Then one day we both went out and had a good time (at least imo) and we both concluded that we would do something together again. But basically after that I tried writing her a few times and she seldom replied and even when she did, it was just some generic excuse not bothering to write and now we haven't written for a while. So really I don't bother trying to force something. Basically you don't want to fuck up anything and end it in awkwardness but when you never really try, you won't see any results at all.[/QUOTE]
It's happened multiple times with this girl, she just keeps coming back doing the same thing. But I've moved on now
But with this new girl, we won't be able to do anything in person until the end of September. So I need to figure out how to talk again.
[QUOTE=ZenX2;45666031]The last girl I tried to date actually approached me first, but then regardless of whether the suggestion was from me or her, would end up busy.
But now I'm trying to initiate contact with an artist girl who I'll be attending uni with, but I'm hitting some anxiety
I'm not quite sure how to do that via text, or maybe I do but I just don't think I know how
Basically my plan right now is throw out a "Hey!" and then maybe a "what's up?" after their initial response, which is what I've been able to gleam from previous conversations with other people
I'm friends with her on fb in the first place because I asked on the college's page if anyone was interested in hanging out and drawing, and she showed interest
And more recently I started posting my art on instagram and she's been liking/commenting a ton of it
So I'm not making a completely cold approach, and although part of me says "Whatever man you're overthinking it just get on this" there's another part of me waving it's arms around and blithering, wearing a nametag that says "Hi, my name's Anxiety"
Basically, I would ask "should I just shoot off a "Hey!" to this girl and not worry about it?" but I already know the answer is yes so I'll do that tomorrow morning[/QUOTE]
You shouldn't ever let anxiety prevent you from being happy and doing something as simple as talking to someone via text, wich may or may not lead to something bigger.
I was in the same boat as you with my girlfriend, but I just went fuck it mode, talked to her, and we ended up talking for hours, and since then not a day has passed without us texting a bit.
[QUOTE=blacksam;45662660]I am currently struggling with the phrase "Comparing apples to oranges."
I am at my wit's end here and I need to make a decision between either transferring to another school to try out the "college experience" or living at home and completing my classes while working on campus.
If we're talking about programs, they're both equivalent. As a cs major, they're both the same, the one I could transfer to doesn't require linear algebra.
If we're talking about people, they're extremely different. Transfer school is notoriously a party and preppy school. The commuter school I am at right now, the social atmosphere doesn't exist.
There are people I know from high school from both places and honestly, they're still the same people.
My indecisiveness is sickening
One day it's, "I'll stay home, work really hard. Find a girl here. Get a job on campus here. It will be totally awesome."
Next day it's, "I'll go away, work really hard. Find a girl there. Get a job on campus there. It will be totally awesome."
I am sick of spending my days sitting at home trying to keep myself occupied. I don't know what will be so different if I go away and at the same time I feel like everything will be different. Which is terrifying.
Spent this morning flipping a coin, and said,[I]Well I don't know if that's the right choice...[/I] for both places. Time is running out. Both schools have tuition due at the end of the week.
You'd think with the amount of Life cereal I have ingested, I would have all the answers, but here I am, still questioning my lactose intolerance towards moving or not.[/QUOTE]
On principle I would advise the option of staying at home but we don't know enough about you and your situation to judge what the right choice would be for you personally
-snip-
[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;45667610]On principle I would advise the option of staying at home but we don't know enough about you and your situation to judge what the right choice would be for you personally[/QUOTE]
I am not the party type, mainly because I am too busy to go out and party. I have a couple friends and one brother who say that getting out of commuter environment would be beneficial to my social health as it forces me to deal with things on my own.
In a way I am sort of envious of people who get to be apart of something while in university. I see all sorts of people apart of something whether it be a sport/club, they really seem to enjoy themselves.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;45665544]
If you haven't yet try writing out all the pros and cons for each place and compare on paper, might help make it clearer[/QUOTE]
I have. Being on my own is going to be expensive. It's going to be a huge adjustment both financially and socially. I don't know a lot of people there. However, I'm gregarious and extroverted wherever I attend. There are plenty of resources and opportunities by transferring though. So I want to know if I am able to put myself through the college atmosphere with the skills that I have acquired from my first year. It would teach me more self sufficiency.
Today, I am leaning towards staying. I wouldn't have to reacquaint myself with a new atmosphere and spend more money. I have two really good friends here and if I still feel deeply about moving, I will transfer next semester/year. Sure, I am missing out on some really cool looking parties, clubs, and some really good looking chicks, but these are all things that can be learned and experienced anywhere. I want to continue being greatly involved with my academic life.
Originally, by transferring I thought I could get over my ex faster, however I feel pretty much over her. The aftermath really tore into me, and I would be a fool if I let one breakup be the reason I changed entirely.
[QUOTE=blacksam;44926643]
This will get better. I don't know if I'm ready to go out and jump out and find another girl right away. I think I need to get back in shape and continue to focus on school while bro-ing out with my homies before I decide to do anything serious again. I am writing this more for myself. That she was good, but there's a girl that is way better than her.[/QUOTE]
I still managed to get an A in my summer cs class, worked out, worked at the bakery, and had plenty of good times with my friends. It's so weird seeing this post. Damn. I have been through a lot of soul searching this summer.
Sure, I still go through parts where I ask myself, [I]Am I doing everything I can to improve my personal growth?[/I], I did that with my ex as well and the only benefit was having a voice that could try and reassure me. No matter what, you're still the same person, with the same questions and it's ultimately up to you to make sure you have your priorities straight.
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;45667446]You shouldn't ever let anxiety prevent you from being happy and doing something as simple as talking to someone via text, wich may or may not lead to something bigger.
I was in the same boat as you with my girlfriend, but I just went fuck it mode, talked to her, and we ended up talking for hours, and since then not a day has passed without us texting a bit.[/QUOTE]
Leading to something bigger would be great, but first and foremost I want a new artist friend (I'm really lacking in this department)
So I'm gonna ask what other mediums she likes to work in to spark a conversation
[editline]12th August 2014[/editline]
Texted her. It beginsss
Edit: Within two messages she's mentioned her significant other. Purely friend mode activated
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
