• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
So the friend that I asked out last year that turned me down just got into a relationship. I feel like I'm definitely over her, but I still feel bitter over recent things I guess?? So after blowing me off repeatedly at the end of last year and not talking to me over the summer, it shouldn't be a surprise that she didn't talk to me in the first three days of school last week, actually going so far as switching out of all the classes I had with her. Like we were fine being close friends and then one day she just straight up started giving me the cold shoulder. Whatever, I'm over it.
Hi, I lurk a lot. I feel like cocks. I just don't understand people, especially when the person you're dating leaves without telling you whether they're done with you or not. In any normal relationship I'd take this as a breakup. Now I won't go into too much detail about this situation, but the person I'm in a relationship(?) with uses break ups to vent their anger with me. I'm used to it, its not a surprise whenever I wake up to find that they removed me from their friends list over something silly. They eventually add me back and everything will be fine, but that shit fucks with my heart. I always panic every time it happens, even though in the back of my mind I know they'll come back. I can't take it man. Now they haven't talked to me for over a month now and I still can't tell if they're done with me or not, because the last time I assumed they were done with me it turned out they weren't. What the fuck am I supposed to do. They've broken my heart countless times but this one tops it all. I'm worried and I miss them. I just want to hear from them again, know that they're doing okay and whether or not they're done with me. They're torturing me by doing this shit. I'm terribly in love with them.
[QUOTE=Absconds;45858217]Now I won't go into too much detail about this situation, but the person I'm in a relationship(?) with uses break ups to vent their anger with me. I'm used to it, its not a surprise whenever I wake up to find that they removed me from their friends list over something silly.[/QUOTE] I'm going to stop at this point as simply say this is not a healthy relationship, and it's unfair to you. They obviously arn't mature enough to deal with issues. Weather they are done with you or not, you should be done with them. That is no good for a long-term relationship you guys have to be able to work out issues.
im gonna let off some fucking steam here I'm fucking done with this high school stupid fucking shit, 10002% done and I am so fucking glad that in just a few months time I graduate and ditch all these dumb fucks My best mate has been dating this girl for no shorter than at least a month and they've broken up for a fair while but he's become a total emotional suicidal sob and has been fucking guilt tripping her for the last whatever-the-fuck or so, he was the one who terminated the stupid relationship and she was cool with it Now as I type this, she wants to end her life and he wants to fucking drive his car into a electricity pole and wants to do it outside her house NOT ONLY THAT, But tomorrow is my big Queensland exam, the big one to determine my placement in Uni and now im fucking stressed, hair pulled stress Why am I dragged into this fuck it im going to bed, enough of this fucking bullshit I am done
Yet you will miss High School later in your life. That said it is the best if you concentrate on your exams for now. Also people tend to spout stupid shit when they feel emotionally hurt. I do not know your friend but I would not worry to much and ask him to man up about it. Being so emotionally devastated after a mere month is stupid.
[QUOTE=junker154;45861957]Yet you will miss High School later in your life. That said it is the best if you concentrate on your exams for now. Also people tend to spout stupid shit when they feel emotionally hurt. I do not know your friend but I would not worry to much and ask him to man up about it. Being so emotionally devastated after a mere month is stupid.[/QUOTE] He literally has problems, in year 10 I phoned the police on him when he made a threat to lie on the traintracks, in year 12 (which is now) he's made numerous threats + posted his cuts/scars on tumblr + general depression shit + self diagnosed himself + more His ex called his mum numerous times so she's well aware, he went to get professional help but even that's going bottom side up. He's a fucking idiot I want to tell this to him right in his face but I can't. Two reasons, one it could be the final push that says it all and two he's my key to schoolies, the big end of year party down at the Gold Coast in Australia where all the high school students go to get absolutely skull fucked on alcohol and drugs. I want to go to it, I've paid my fee but he can always boot me off (which would be a dog act seeing as it costed me $200) I'm just over it, I'll miss it but right now I'm over it
I think quitting your friendship with him is a decent idea.
[QUOTE=junker154;45861987]I think quitting your friendship with him is a decent idea.[/QUOTE] im planning too after the end of the year, right now i cannot avoid him and i'm already balls deep [editline]1st September 2014[/editline] look honestly my fear is, we're going to be at the gold coast, he's going to snort cocaine cause he's been wanting too for a while now, he's going to OD, we're gonna need to phone the ambo, get him sorted then get kicked out or he's going to become a pavement pancake, basically take a plunge from the balcony (motels lock them during schoolies so lets just pray ours is locked) he's booked two rooms, im in room 2, away from him. My plan is to keep a fair distance away as well, he wants to stay in the apartment and watch Disney films and get high instead of going onto the beach or into clubs and having a good time (dont worry i told him he's a fucking idiot for that) im talking out my mind here, why am i sharing this
[QUOTE=fruxodaily;45861999]im planning too after the end of the year, right now i cannot avoid him and i'm already balls deep [editline]1st September 2014[/editline] look honestly my fear is, we're going to be at the gold coast, he's going to snort cocaine cause he's been wanting too for a while now, he's going to OD, we're gonna need to phone the ambo, get him sorted then get kicked out or he's going to become a pavement pancake, basically take a plunge from the balcony (motels lock them during schoolies so lets just pray ours is locked) he's booked two rooms, im in room 2, away from him. My plan is to keep a fair distance away as well, he wants to stay in the apartment and watch Disney films and get high instead of going onto the beach or into clubs and having a good time (dont worry i told him he's a fucking idiot for that) im talking out my mind here, why am i sharing this[/QUOTE] I had a friend who had a similar and self-destructing behavior while being a massive attention whore. Such toxic friends only drag you down after a while even if you just want to help out. I told him what a selfish and idiotic prick he was and quit the friendship. It was great and I never regretted it.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;45858931]I'm going to stop at this point as simply say this is not a healthy relationship, and it's unfair to you. They obviously arn't mature enough to deal with issues. Weather they are done with you or not, you should be done with them. That is no good for a long-term relationship you guys have to be able to work out issues.[/QUOTE] I want to, god I wish I hated their guts for everything they put me through, but I don't. I just want to hear from them again. I can't stand the thought of them being with someone else and I'm scared I won't be lucky enough to meet someone like them again. I've been hoping they're just going through a rough patch right now and we'd get along perfectly like we used to once all their issues blow over. I don't know man, this shit sucks. I don't want to regret anything. Thanks for the response, really helped put things in perspective for me.
so I've spent the last couple days doing absolutely fuck all and I feel myself slipping back into depression All my friends are off going to post secondary, and I'm taking a bit of time off myself because I thought I wasn't prepared financially, emotionally and all that jazz so I'm interning for a bit to pass the time, but I'm realizing the only person really close by is my girlfriend and even then, I'm going to be seeing her next to not at all with her at school all the time so how does one go about making new friends
I need some advice. How do I stop being so shy on FP? Because I mostly registerd to see if I could make a few friends and be able to have more than the usual two,but I'm too scared to post anything. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
[QUOTE=SonOfAnarchy;45866806]I need some advice. How do I stop being so shy on FP? Because I mostly registerd to see if I could make a few friends and be able to have more than the usual two,but I'm too scared to post anything. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE] Just post, no one cares to much here. Use proper spelling and decent grammar and you don't get too much flak for anything. If you get dumbed don't stress about it learn from whatever the mistake was and move on. It's just randoms on the web :v: [editline]1st September 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;45864702]so I've spent the last couple days doing absolutely fuck all and I feel myself slipping back into depression All my friends are off going to post secondary, and I'm taking a bit of time off myself because I thought I wasn't prepared financially, emotionally and all that jazz so I'm interning for a bit to pass the time, but I'm realizing the only person really close by is my girlfriend and even then, I'm going to be seeing her next to not at all with her at school all the time so how does one go about making new friends[/QUOTE] I'm there too, but it's not something that bothers me much. Usually local clubs and groups are good, and you can make friends at work depending on your job (I assume your working). Make sure you get out and just go for a walk if your not feeling great emotionally, sun and exercise help and can get you in a better mood to get into doing something : )
my friends are all still in the neighbourhood and it's not unheard of to keep up with friends from High school but I know that won't work out really I am working. It'll be fun, I guess. I'm just really broken seeing all my friends doing exactly what they want to do on the path to the career that'll make them happy, and here I am waiting around because I didn't have the money or the mentality for it y'see, I'm trying to get into acting, which sounds ridiclous but I don't care about fame or fortune. I wouldn't know what to do with it. I just want to act. To be able to do the one thing I'm good at. I acted all throughout high school, starred in every production, took all the drama classes and wrote a few plays and I know I wanted to sit on it a bit, see the world a bit before I committed to that in college and now I'm feeling shitty about it. I'm hoping it's a first week thing
This thread title is probably the best advice anyone could give tbh
Semester's starting soon and already had the first bump on the road. So basically just came down from my grandparent's farm back to the city to enjoy the last bits of sunshine of September and going to the beach as much as I can before uni starts again. So there I was chilling at the cafe with 2 of my best friends when we receive a call saying that one of our friends from High school jumped down from the 5th floor and killed himself. I'm over it but it was a huge shock. We weren't close but he was a part of my life and we both grew up together. The strangest thing was that he never gave up any hint that he was depressed or even sad. Long story short, 5 years ago he entered my degree but decided that it wasn't something for him. After that he changed to med school and moved to the North. After that he would just stop answering our calls or even respond to us over IM or facebook or whatever. But we always saw him posting photos of him at parties and hanging around cool new people, so we assumed that he wasn't answering because he was busy and partying all the time. We were actually kinda mad at him because he was happy and we thought that he had forgotten about us since we were a really tight group that still hang out today. So, a year ago he moves back, changes degree one more time but didn't say anything to anyone. I only found out because I found him sitting at the train station at my uni waiting for the same train I take. I used to find him now and then, he looked happy, always smiling, never avoiding conversation, (you know, never giving up any of those depressive hints), he told me how things were up North and how much fun he was having there, friends, parties, you name it. He told me he came back because he kinda lost himself in those parties with alcohol and weed and skipped on studying. So he came back looking for more discipline and stability. He had already made a lot of friends north, and in this semester he surely left a mark on his colleagues because everyone would just ask me about him because he never answered the calls. Then he starts changing his background image to some crappy message about how "booze is the drug that takes the pain away" or some shit like that. We assumed that it was just a cry out for attention, because all the cool kids are posting shit like that. Then he disappears. I stop seeing him at the train station around April. And now I received the news, he moved up North again and killed himself this semester. His funeral was really emotional. People came from everywhere. I still can't believe he did something like that, he could just answer us. Part of me feels angry at him and another part just sad about all the pain around this situation. He was the last person I'd think would be capable of doing something like this.
So I know someone's going to just point at the title but I'll ask anyway. Today was my actual day of college (I've been here a week already solely for marching band) and in my CS class this cute girl sat next to me. I got to talk to her only a little bit before class. I really want to ask her to lunch but I feel like it'd be super premature since I only met her yesterday.
[QUOTE=Cows Rule;45876130]So I know someone's going to just point at the title but I'll ask anyway. Today was my actual day of college (I've been here a week already solely for marching band) and in my CS class this cute girl sat next to me. I got to talk to her only a little bit before class. I really want to ask her to lunch but I feel like it'd be super premature since I only met her yesterday.[/QUOTE] that's why you ask her out to get to know her better [editline]2nd September 2014[/editline] doesn't have to be a proposal or anything, just a simple "hey wanna get some lunch after class?" would do fine
I'm not sure if this is really a social problem but getting a job doesn't really seem appealing to me In the first few days of job finding and listening to people, it's just ugh. I volunteered once (for two days) for a charity and 5 hours a day is all that I can really handle. Like I have severe trouble sleeping. I literally need 11-12 hours of sleep to function 100% and it seems that people that are hiring expect people to be available from 7am to 12pm. I need money, and experience. I also need my stability. Like I'm 18 for fucks sakes.
what i do is say i'm available whenever(since i apply online, i put that so that i can show up in their lists in the first place) and when i'm hired or am called to do an interview i negotiate the hours but how well that works depends on where you live everyone here is friendly [editline]3rd September 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Cows Rule;45876130]So I know someone's going to just point at the title but I'll ask anyway. Today was my actual day of college (I've been here a week already solely for marching band) and in my CS class this cute girl sat next to me. I got to talk to her only a little bit before class. I really want to ask her to lunch but I feel like it'd be super premature since I only met her yesterday.[/QUOTE] tell her straight up "you're cute btw" since you guys just met it'd be easier to say without repercussions of being friends before hand [editline]3rd September 2014[/editline] it's an easy way to show you're interested in her right off the bat and not come off too strongly
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;45877616]I'm not sure if this is really a social problem but getting a job doesn't really seem appealing to me In the first few days of job finding and listening to people, it's just ugh. I volunteered once (for two days) for a charity and 5 hours a day is all that I can really handle. Like I have severe trouble sleeping. I literally need 11-12 hours of sleep to function 100% and it seems that people that are hiring expect people to be available from 7am to 12pm. I need money, and experience. I also need my stability. Like I'm 18 for fucks sakes.[/QUOTE] Someone your age should only need about 9-10 hours of sleep. It sounds like you're not getting enough deep sleep and trying to compensate by oversleeping, which can be just as harmful as missing sleep and might be perpetuating your problem. Diet and exercise both can have a huge impact on your sleep cycle. If your sleep habits are a concern to you (and it sounds like they should be if they're impeding on your life), focusing on forming healthy habits should help. Exercising regularly will help you feel more awake during the day and leave you more tired by nighttime, allowing you to get higher quality sleep. On top of that, if you're having caffeine in the late afternoon/evening, even within 12 hours of going to sleep, that will affect your sleep as well. Being on the computer or otherwise staring at a bright screen right before bed will make it harder to sleep (try the software "f.lux" for this, it changes your monitor's color scheme based on the day - blue light inhibits the release of melatonin, which is a chemical that makes you tired, so flux changes to a warm color scheme late at night). You should also pay attention to exactly how much sleep you're getting in terms of when you wake up during your sleep cycle. If I only get 6 hours of sleep, I'll feel much more awake than I would if I had slept an extra hour because I was already in light sleep. Getting the wrong amount of sleep, even oversleeping, can fuck my whole day up. You might want to look up a chart of sleep phases and try to plan around that - it's not exact, but it will give you a good starting point. There are also some websites and smartphone apps that can set a wake-up time for you based on when you'll be in light sleep. I know this isn't a health advice thread but I've dealt with sleep problems too and nothing will drive me insane faster than missing sleep because of something out of my control. Hopefully this helps.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;45877616]I'm not sure if this is really a social problem but getting a job doesn't really seem appealing to me In the first few days of job finding and listening to people, it's just ugh. I volunteered once (for two days) for a charity and 5 hours a day is all that I can really handle. Like I have severe trouble sleeping. I literally need 11-12 hours of sleep to function 100% and it seems that people that are hiring expect people to be available from 7am to 12pm. I need money, and experience. I also need my stability. Like I'm 18 for fucks sakes.[/QUOTE] Sleeping for 11-12 hours will almost never have any benefits over sleeping between 6 and 9 hours. If you can't work more than five hours, how did you get this far?
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45878365]Sleeping for 11-12 hours will almost never have any benefits over sleeping between 6 and 9 hours. If you can't work more than five hours, how did you get this far?[/QUOTE] I never had a job before.
What about school and life?
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;45878869]What about school and life?[/QUOTE] School was difficult. In the 7th grade I would literally fall asleep in math class. That hasn't happened since, but I'm mostly tired throughout the day.
If you honestly don't think it's about a sedentary lifestyle, consult a doctor. If you actually live an active lifestyle it might be something mundane like iron deficency.
So in a few days I'll start my year at a new school (2 years post high-school, I guess you could call it a uni although it's not exactly the same thing.) It's weird because I've been living in Toulouse since I was in elementary school and now I'll have to live near Paris in the campus. What's also quite new to me is that it works kinda like a uni, with conferences, (kinda) big amount of students per year, personalized schedules and specialties. My previous years of higher education were spent in preparatory school, which is basically on the same model as high-school, except with bigger classes, more workload and regular oral exams. In addition, the workload hindered social activities quite a bit, so outside of my classmates I wasn't really able to have a lot of interaction with people. Not to mention that we didn't get to party very often, except the occasional one before the holidays. So yeah, I've been kind of a hermit these past two years, so I'm a bit afraid of being socially numb now, especially since I wasn't particularly extroverted before. What's cool is that there are lots and lots of associations (including a computer science lab one which is the one Videolan originated from!) as well as various sports clubs, most of which are pretty interesting. Our elders also planned various activities for us to do at the start of the year, so I guess that's a good way of getting to know other people. I only know 5 persons from my previous year who'll attend this school, and I'm not really close to them either, so I hope it'll go alright.
How many days after meeting a girl is it okay to ask her out?
Having a legit pregnancy scare right now. And it fucking sucks because we often used other methods ON TOP of her being on the depo birth control shot. If we ever weren't extra safe we were sure to wait until it was a least a month after her shot and she wasn't on any antibiotics or anything. But this shit still might be happening. Seriously, what else could these be? - Nausea/getting sick in the mornings - Peeing all the time - Hungry all the time - Sensitivity to unusual smells (enjoys smells she used to hate and can't be around smells she used to like) - Spotting I'm freaking out right now.
So the school started. I'm second year here now, which is the last one, and I'm thankful that I have someone I can talk to know who are pretty much my friends now, it made me feel way more welcome than beginning of last year. I also keep talking to the girl who added me, but I haven't seen her yet, gonna hope we'll meet tomorrow in school. I'll also take the same bus I did when I actually met her, so we'll see how it goes.
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